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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 18, 1903)
The Gonti :OR: One Life's CIIAI'TEII III (Cntilliiiied.) Wliliniii mi) reminder, Hie elder f llu- two Itiimkoil in Hie ilnur In ii moment li wn uiiiiisii-ued rrniii iilililn, mill iin-t If KlISO I.IIIIIIIIHii ollclll'll II Hl.li. Illlcr- Ink ii Joyful cxi-hiuiiillini n alio mot Hi" nent'iiitier. "I it'll r fiilher!" ln' crii'il, Kindly, "why ul'l yuii not cnmc before? I wna lii'Klii lilng In hi' iiliiiini'il." Anil (In) threw lior arm iiIi.iiii hi nn k. "Take rn if." hi snld, klulrnt her unit lyi "jim will got wot; my l.itliio nr liuiii' nf III ilrjesl. I oiiine liiinii' na (null Hi I niiilil, fur (lie ruin." "I'nnr iiiiii! )c-ynii nti' iiilli wi-t. It U n lt)' I" An. I willi ln-r luiliil In liln, she wiik tlriiwlug him In, when Iht ulaiico fell, fur I In' llml Hun', mi I hi' ilgurn nf tlu mini hi'liliiil lilin. Hhi' linlr alnrleil, iiml ii slluhl flown wna vlllili iiiun her pretty run', lull nil f quickly dispelled II, mill, midding cinclcssl)', milil: "llnod ctcliluit, lliispiiiile," 'I'liu inn n cliin'il I In' iliuir. nud IIiimi fol lowing tlii'lii, aoiiled himself mi il wihhIi'II bench by Hie lii'iirlli; while II null I .it -liiuiiti', t 1 1 1 1 1 11 if utf liln heavy hnhnnllfd shoe, limk tlii'lii In M liiiml, mill cm i'l lliu kllclioii Ilnur cnrf ully. miilnc. v 1 1 Ii n tllitht gesture. In (Innpiirili', n Im Iuikh'iI Hiruiigh tliu iluur mi llif other side of Un 11 1 in r I mi- in : "Unit iihIiIIi, lln-pnrile- wnll nwlilli', ninl I "III Im Willi jim nk'iiln." Itut i 1 1 1 nnnjr lit'r wheel, swept up n few ilfinl utiles bint: mi llif In'iirtli, nml llit'ii busied herself iiIhiiH lnr father's supper, ullliutil iiiit'i' speiiMuir. In nr In nuy Wily noticing I he guest. Ill', how ever, c)od Iht ft tun Hum In llini', u she mined Alum! tlit' rn'iiii, with n glnnce wlih'li iilii' ctlilciitly ft'll, rather 1 1 it nw, to li II i imI iipini her, nml width nlu n iippiircutl) studied to mold. After some Ii ii minute uf utter silence, finding Hint Im wim ileleriiilni-il nut tu upi'itk, liv nponeil lliu i-uiiicmiillnii tin lili una lo apiiiiallilliiy. "Well, Hnsc, )nii nro itlli'iit Iti-nlght. Vim utf III, perhaps?" "No 1 mn nut III," alio answered, cold Ii'. "Von nro nul glad, llu n, tu oo uw'l" Im CiiiiiIiiiiihI, "I illil nut miy no," "In' ri'pllt'il, ullliuut llNlkllltf III Mill. "Vim will ny not lit n c ltuc, tlmi pIciiiHiiil mnl klml. Cuiiir, )im might clif nm n friendly wnrd when I Imvu walked null it lunit way In lllulil." "( illil nut give )uii lliu truiilili', lr II Ii n trouble." "1 I'll mo partly fur tin' sake uf Mug rtunpniiy In )niir father that In cnu tell )nu," itnhl (Inspnrde. Tlif prill) Hp uf Itu.i' ulliflitljr curli'il. Hit fiillii'r ni'ttl I'liiiipmi) ! it stout, hold, sturdy pi'minnt, wim wim nfrnlil uf imtli lull liiiinnn, nml who. aim very wi'll km"', pnaattl through llif forcal crcry tliim lit wi'iit In murki't, nml ufti'ii rt' turned nftiT nlkililfnll. Inn. "A pruhnhlc lory 1" iIiuiikIiI Hit' nitng itlrl "llu unly ) II fur llif until uf npponrlug inula- hlK." "Ami no," iilin hh lil. nluml, KlnnrliiK, nt the nnif lluif, nt llio mrniiff nilurn ini'iita wliltli In- wurtt nt Ilia wnltl "nml n, nil my fnllit-r wna nut nlilv In tnkt) inn- uf liluiHflf " Slit' puilnil n inn uii'iil. liv It ixl nut ai'i'ii lliu ipiltk Kluin-f wlilrh ulin rnit ill III ln'It il uliv upokf, nml alii inltiic mi liiitnut nhli lit'r i)t"t llxitl nil lila fnit', ill nili'liff, ahtt aiulili-u-y anlil: "Wlint nn jinir plalula furV" Hi- alnrlisl, nml put liU Iminl In tliini, Vt'ini'iiilii'rliiK with i-uiiitiTiintliiii tlmt Im Iiml furittli'ii tt rtuifi'iit llii ni U'furt' tu Irrliik. llii'ovi'rliik' lilinu'lf. Iiuiu'li'r, li-J nuawi-ri'tl, pilttlliK mi n I'ltri'lt'im look : "(), llit'ae n r f nrma tluil I liruiiiilit uu piirputt tii-iilifht; fur yun Lnuw it la n iiiutli Inlrr limir I linn I lie tnif nt wlilili yuiir fill Imt naiinlly ri'lurna, nml tliry ivuulil lit' cihhI fur IhiiIi uf na lo liiivi, na wc ni'ri' rniulux llirutlKli tliu fuit'al, In cnau uf ilniiKi'r." Huat' kiivi- n alirun, I no alli;lit fur li I ill tu not It f. An alio illil nut imi-f ntli'inpl tu lirt'iik Hit' pniiait wlilrli litt iilliini'tl tu fulluw lilt nunla, liy uITitIiii; lilin tlm It-nut i-ni'uiiriiKi'int'iit tu pruii-t'tl, liv niua-1 tiTi'tl auilnrlly wllliuiil. "I liuri' In-t'ii llilnklin: fur n lunc lliiif." Im wt'lil uu, "tluil It la vi'ry lonely li vlitit wltliuut n "Iff. nml na I am mi lium-at fi'llutv, llkfly tu nniki' my wuy in tliu wurlil, lliuiliili, pt'rluipH, I nm nut ati linlnl iiiiio u hi mi na u prt'tly mnlili'ii iiiIkIi! rliuuai', )tt I kiiuw, I'tiuaiu, llint yuii nru too at'iiallilu u k'lrl In ri'fimo n kuuiI liua linntl un Hint ni'i'uiiut, nml will, pt'rlmpa, think rt'iiaunnlily of tliu nffnlr. Will you innrry mt', ItuauJ" "No, Ciiaparilv, 1 will nul," aim rcpllrtl; "nml 1 wuinliT yuii fUT prrauuii'tl tu tlilnk uf audi n tlilnif." "Oi yuil nru Jt'Btlni;, ctiiialn you nrc JratlnK, auri'ly." Im nnlili "tlu but conalil i r tlio inntliT. Conif, I will mnke you a guutl liualiiiliil, na I nnlil lifforf, thotlk'll I tlilnk It Imrilly uuclit to In- ri'ponti'tl." "Ilnrtlly. Imli't'ili" nlm rcturni'tl, alight. Incly, twlaliue lil' lit h t nnnU tu ault Iiit own fnncy. "Hut fur nil Hint, (InapnruV, I never will innrry you, nml you need not nik mo nk'iiln." Ami, qulto wenrleil with hla pcrtinm-lty IniU'Pi, with tho very aouml uf hla voice alio went nut nml shut liemelf In her own room till ho ahoulil bo k'oue. Hho Iiml hut just rvtlri'il when Iliich I.iunonto ru-eiilereil, boarlng n aumll hnakvt, which Lo gnru to Ouapnrtlc. "Tlmao nro tlio tlilnira," ho snlil. "Hut, Onapnrtlo thtwo plalola In your holt?" nml hla kIkhco rented upon them uuenally; "wo fork'ot them. Did Hoao notice tliuin?" "Via; hut I amoolheil It nil. Hlio thinks, I uppoac, I inn n ifrent cownnl, I made up n cruuil atury of beluir nfrnlil In tho forest, Well, no matter. All tlio bettor Imi't It, cnptnlnV" "Hho U na well not to know." "Well, I nm k'oliik'. cnptnlu. Slmll you bo ut the reliilezvuiiH tn-morrow nlulitV" "Hush I tlo not npeuk loud. I cannot tell. It la probnble, though. (Jood night'" Ami ho rloaeil mnl lutrred tlio door lie hlml (Inapnrilc. Ami rvturuliiK to tho kitchen, Im an nk into n sent, with a bitter lull, "O, for your suke, my poor, Innocent child," ho murmured, "1 would foranks thin miserable wny of life, but 1 daro not I dure Hott" nml ho covered Ids bowed face. Then, rlslne mid pacing tho room with nn unquiet ntop, ho went nil! "I'oor Itosol to think of tho deceit tho crime, Hint aiu'rouuda you! even I, who ahoulil bo honest, behiK tho protec tor of n ulnleai clilld llko you oven I nm unfit nahnnied to look In your fncol And you think mo n guoil mntil compell ed to steal out In tho dead of night to scenes of crlmo nud darkness, nml thcu return to meet your loving, holy kisses, nud listen to your chlldllko words, that thrust ii thousand dugifers through me, becnuso their purity shows mo my own guilt In tho blackest huo! O, Itose Huiei to think of tho wrongn I buve doue, nud yours tho greatest!" TRUE STORY OF THE SOUTH OF FRANCE Secret Tliu door upened, nml, mutlniialy, pret ty IIihu enirrril, A iulek illiini'f east iiliuiit lliu room naaureil her that her dla-niiri-t'iililt' i'tiuaiu hml tnkeii hla ilepnrtiiri', HIik rnn Juyfully tu her fullier'a alili', i'lnluilugi "lie list renlly guiie, Ihenl" "Vim du nut llkn him, .Mlguuiiiic?" naked her fnlher, tenilerly. "I.lku hlmV nn, pnpn, nor ever did. He la nut n plrnsnlit vltllor, by nuy iiienna, Well, yuii klml! cum nml eat aiiiim supper. Hee, It la nil ready, nml while ) iu nru ilulng no, I will tell you sumi'thlng." "Let lim henr It." "Kiiiiieliuily hna been here, papn, It wna Hid yuiing Count l.ouls tlm Count il'Arlula, papn. llu has ciimo tu rlait the chntenii, na wo heard Im wna nhuiil In iln." At this Hugh I.ninnnte allghtly alnrted, llli knife ilriippi'd to tho floor, nml he quickly atoupeil tu pick It up, esclnlliilug, "Haw careleaa!" Illaliig, ho returned hla repnat. "Tlm count has been here, lloso? What did Im ouiim Imre for?" "1'iir aheller." 1 1 null I.ninoiilf turned pair. "Well, llnao for aheltet? Vou are not very eipllelt. Hheller from whttV" Hla I '"li" wua hnaly olid ngltatetl. lie neem etl In be nwnni of It, fur he added Imme diate!) ; "Vou mutt talk Imth to and for mt-, denr child, tn-nlght. nml not lenre mo anything tu do, fur you aeu I nm fntlgued. Tell me nil nlmul It, Hone. Wlint did Im want ahellrr for, nml what did lis any?" "It wna mining very hard, you know, pnpn," aim nnawered, gently, "nud lie wna Journeying to the chateau. Ho slop lied until Hm aturui waa out." All hour later Hugh I.amunte paced hla iiwii apartment with a aleru brow ami n heavy heart. In which n thouaand rack ing and tormenting thuuglita rluted. Ixjw ly nud humble seemed hi daily life; lion et t nml good, though puor, lie lilmaelf i-atefiiietl, ami yet aeeret tin ti ml year uf hidden nngiiltli nml rruiorit- with dally nud hourly ennkerlug in Ida no til. Under i-uver uf hi cmiHlnut Industry nntl the etllliinllon uf hi ui'lghliura, ho led a life uf hidden crime. Hut It wa unly In the ilarknesa Hint he practiced It; only when he could ateal furth nml no neighbor wna nbrtiatl tu watch hi atepa; and ateullng buck ngnlu ere Hie ilnwn, paaa nnullit-r day of rustle laliur, nud nwalt another night uf crime. Thus it had beeu fur years, and till wna nut hla wurtt devil, either. Vet this mnii hail not always been bail. Awny back. In Hie lapse uf lime, shone furth tlio light of happy yeara, ami Innocent thoughts and deeda; uf an unstained eon telenet' nml n pure heart: of n life that once waa sinless, Hut hu dnrvd nut look upon Oleic things now. l'or though he had long since sickened of these scene uf crime, ami though he would gladly havu fursakeii them, hu could not burst utiiiidi-r the liunil that held nud shackled him. He dared nut seek n fteparntlun from the crew uf desperate, lawless tueu who looked tu til m an their leader. Ami Iht) consciousness nlmost madden ed him. There were times when he would have plunged n thouaand degree deeper lutn vice than ever he had )et dune, that he might stlllo these lienor feelings these promptings uf the yet liv ing monitor within, sluco they were In vain; and then it wna only the ever-present imago uf hi child thai saved him the memory uf her sweet face and luno- ,1-eiil life, uf her fa I til nud uf her love. l-iHir uosei It wna this flasparde thl man whom wit have seen with him tu-iilghl win) planned the laat expedition. They were l.amoutf'a men who nttnckitl l.ouls tl'Ar lol III the forest: nntl (Insfinrdu wna une uf them. They wero defeated, ns we have seen, tu the Infinite surprint nud secret sutlafactiuii of Hugh, who, while he hud been unwilling to give consent tu the pltui, nml yet lintl tint ilnretl offer uppu hIIIoii tu (laspnrde, who wna next to lilm aelf in Hiithurlty, hint yet managed tu avoid joining In Ita execution. Indeed, Id errand Hint duy frum home had been secretly to warn mk of the danger awaiting him; but he had nilaacd seeing lilin, mid failed In hla project. Ho did nut know Hint the count had beeu warn ed, notwithstanding; nud, knowing Hint the weapons ut I.oul had been rendered useless, in n menaiire, before hi day's Jouincy was commenced, wna nstuumletl tu learn, on reaching the rendezvous in the forest, Hint he had bullied hi ene mies, ami uut unly tinlllcd tlieiu. but given them ample rciisous for remembering him for sumo time tu come. Hugh I.amoutu had reasons fur not wishing tu Injure l.ouls d'Armls, or nuy of hi people; and ho earnestly desired lo save him frum the clutches of tlnspunle, who had led till nffnlr thmughunt; fur ho wna more than apprehensive, Hint It tho count uuiilo a 11 nil resistance, nml gave them loo much trouble, unless Hint resistance wero uverpowerlug, lie would only exasperate hi assailants, who might easily murder lilm In their rage ami Im patience, Ami now that he had Indeed escaped, nud lct them with so set ere a reminder of their defeat, Hugh trembled for lilm mora than ever. He knew that (laspnrdo waa enraged nt the loss uf tho prlio ho had counted on, nml jet morn deeply nt tho treatment tu which ho nml his men had been subjected, nud Hint, If opportunity were given, he would bo undo to feel the vengeance uf his desper ate adversary, fur flaspurdo hat! sworn to mnka him pay dearly for that night's work. These things occupied lilm long offer Roso had retired, nud it wna not until nn hour after midnight that he sought hla own couch; yet ho remained for nomo time, still, In a state of wakefulness, re volving a thousand affairs In his mind that had nlrcndy brought many au un timely wrlnklo to hla brow, nnd many a silver thread to tho rich brown locks that clustered about hla head. CHAI'THH IV, At tlio break ot day, Itoso Lnmontc had risen, and was busying herself with her simple household nffalrs. Her fath er slept until an unusual Into hour; but aha would not disturb lilm, remem bering his weariness ot tho night previ ous! o bI t 1,18 breakfast to wait for Mm, and, sitting down III tho sunshine by tho door, took her llttlo spinning wheel nnd applied herself to work with ready fingers whllo sho awaited his appear ance. llcforo tlio sun waa two hours high, howover. Hugh made his appearance. Ha aoemctl lighter hearted, by far, thla morn ing; his slumbers had evidently refresh ed him. Indeed, thla waa tho caso; and nt tho sight ot Hose, with ter bright fuco and her pleasant smile, nnd tho air of comfort and cheerfulness that every where waa visible, betraying tho beauti fying touch of those fairy finger of hers, he could not but wear n smile himself. "O, you nre heller, pnpn, this morn ings you nru quite rested are you not?" naked Hose, Juyfully, ns ho gave her n guud-moVuliig kiss. "Quite restored, .Mlgiionne," he answer ed, with quiet llleerflllues. lie nte hi brenkfnst nml In Iked with llosii uu one subject mid nuuther fur n while, then rising, he went to the door In luok out. llu atood there a moment, while bis daughter wna (louring the In lilf, nml Instantly turning about, Im anld: "Hose, tin not speak lo anybody of the count's visit here Inst night. Tu anybody - you hear, child?" "Ve, pnpn." lie waited retlecllvely an Instant, and then added! "Ami rspeclnlly lo flnspnrde," Host' looked n llltl' perplexed, "No, Indeed -nut to lilm. Hut why ea peclully to (Inspnrde, pnpn?" "Ill-cause I wish It, Huso. And If you should nee the )oung count III thl neigh borhood ngnlu, you nro to In- equally si lent; you must tell It unly tu me." "Yes, papa." Ami though Hose could lint tllvliie her father's reasons fur these directions, tlm wn wise enough tu nsk nu farther questions. He went, nml left her standing there by the casement, n slight blush rising to her cheek. Hut presently alio turned nwny with a half sigh, ami cummenced setting the simple furniture of the apart ment in better order, nml then went out Into Hm little gnrden belonging to the cottngc to gntlier flower. Khu plucked a aiiiall basketful, arranged I hem quick ly ami with exquisite taste, nnd then, tying on n Utile rustic hat, set out on the road that led through tho valley, among tho distant hills, and far beyond, to the chateau. This waa her dally custom, as long as , IIOSC ON 11X11 WAT TO THE CHATEAU WITH rlMYIKM. the dowers blossomed In the cottage gar den; for madeuiolacllo liked dowers, and there was no garden near tho chateau, only thick woods, and the narrow lawn that surrounded the stone wall of the courtyard; ao she engaged Iluae to bring her the flowers she raised. (To bo continued.) MUD SAVES LONDON LIVES. Mortall x Hate la the Melropolla la Decreased In Pcaaon of Flltn. Iu Ioudou It was noticed Hint when tliu slrct-ta wero muddy there was a marked diminution of diseases that wero prevalent when dust Is blowing. Howcl trouble are plentiful when peo ple nru compelled to Inhale dust. Con sumption, too, often sets Its start from dust. Other lllnosaos almost equally grave follow from tho breathing of lly Ins particles of filth. Add suttlc-Ient wnter to transform the dust Into mud anil the iowcr for harm la gone, for mud Is not Inhaled. The germs Hint In fect dry dust beeomo luert In tntirt, le roiiKO thento germs, vicious as they arc, arc too lazy to go anywhere unless they nru carried. Moreover, tiitid Is very likely to get ultimately Into the drain pipe, ami the genus are carried oil where they can do no narm. Kven when mutl dries on the clothing and Is brush ed off the dust that arises therefrom doe not nppenr to lie ns dangerous ns that which has not been recently wot. It will thus Im apparent Hint there Is n bright side to mud, nud henceforth nil but the most fastidious will revel In muddy streets. Many physicians may advise their more weakly patients to go abroad lu senreh of cxcrclno only when the road nre muddy. Hlcli men mny be looked fur to have special mud plots suinewhero on their grounds, while san Itiirliiins may be expected to advertise tlmt nil tho walks nbout their buildings. nre so constantly nttiudul to Hint mud Is guaranteed every day In the year. Mud liatlis have long been utilized, and mud would seem certain to become one of the great curative agents of the near future. Yet wise medicos nre learning nothing that has not been known for ages to mothers of large families lu rural districts, where "playing In tin' mini" has always been known ns the children's healthiest pastime. Itostou Transcript. SHORT AND SOUR. Iteapone F bowed that the lceity Man's l'.ltleiice Via l.xhiiustetl. There bad been a small bank failure, nntl the bank had gone Into the bands of a receiver. The receiver bad proved lo be dishonest, nnd bad absconded with what remained of the funds of the Institution. Expert detectives, bow over, wero on bis truck, and ho was run to earth In n mountain town nnd taken back to tho scene of bis lltiun clnl exploits. It was nfter midnight when tlio de tectives arrived with their prisoner, nnd .Mr. Menus, tho principal depositor In tho bank, nnd therefore the princi pal loser, was awakened at bis borne and Informed by telephono of tho enp turc. Ho expressed bis gratification and went bnck to bed. Shortly afterward bo was aroused to rccclvo another telephono messngo to tlio sumo effect, from a different source. "Thanks," ho snld, "but I had hoard of It nlrendy. Good night!" And ngnlu lio sought bis couch. About 2 o'clock bo wns nwnkened n third time. Tho telephono bell was ringing. In no gcntlo frnnio of mind ho nn Bwcred It. "Hollol" bo snld. "Hello!" responded a volco through tlio telephone. "Is this Mr. Means?" "Yes, What do you wnnt?'' "Mr, Menus, this Is Deputy Sheriff Jones. Wo'vo caught Hint runnwny re ceiver. Is tbcro anything you'd llko to have mo do, personally, lu tho matter?" "Yosl" ronrcd Mr. Means. "Hang up tho receiver!" And bo was uot disturbed agnla, HUMOIl 01? THE WEEK OTORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PflES8. Odd, Curious wild l.inigliabla I'basta uf Huuiuii Ndlura Omplikulljr l'or Irayad by I'.iuliient Word Arllata uf Our Onu llu j--A Undue! of Vim. "Miillldii!" shouted old Crnwfoot, nn Kill)', "slop polllidliiK '" that plnnny." "llli,'piiin," llapetl the girl III ging ham, "tin' paper nays music will kill IIIIISIllltlll'." "Wi'll, llii'ii, why ilmi't you piny music?" Wlllliix "Mine. Old Lady (In drug storej-Can't you wnlt on im-, young imiii? I'm In a hurry." I'lerk -Vi', iilii'nin. Wlint can I do for you?" llltl I.nily - I wnnt n posing- si. -imp. (,'lcrk- Hluill I lick It for yon, ina'ntn? t'lifc Willi lilm, Mr. Iloiiblelgli l)oe your husband ever illscliii' nuy of III lodge Mi-ret t Mr. Cliilileltfli-No, Indeed. Hy tha. time In- get Inline from Hu lodge hla ini'iiiory I a blank. foiilit Nut Meep. I'litml Sergeant (during temporary respite from night duty) No, thanks, cook, Hie Inst time I took -olTee with slipper It kept me awake all night. I'oor Consolation. "I wish I hud been liorn with n silver kH)un lii my inotilli," sighed the youth. "Oh, don't let that worry you," re joined the village suge. "You'll prob ably get a lot u gutd In your teeth before you die." ltecaute of It, "Why do they call thl a free coun try?" naked the unwashed anarchist. "Heciiuse," answered the respectable citizen, "you are at liberty to leave It If you don't like It." Olil.OU t-'lnrr. Jack I should Imagine that women would like originality. Seems to me they'd hale repetition." Mabel Well, yes; excepting the phrase "I love you." llobtoii' Choice. Guest (In ehenp reatnurant) Well, waiter, what have you got? Waller Heef steak nnd fish but the flsh Is ill out. Wblcb'll you have? Dsuscroui I'luce. Krnle Are tunnels realy dangerous? The Hachclor Should say so. I knew n man who kissed a girl In a tuuncl one time and he had to marry her. I'a'n Wisdom, Utths Wlllle-What are dividends, pa? I'a Dividends, my son, are what the stockholders get after the directors appropriate their share. I'oor Olrl. Miss Cold 1 hear that the foreign noblemen are demanding that the American girl they wish to marry must have more Income than ever. Miss Ollt (discouraged) Gracious! Tho necessities of life arc going up every day. Out ot tha Kullne.t of the Heart. Hobby I'op, did you know mamma very well before you married her? Ueupeck No; I'm afraid not, Unprofcsalonal. Strong Have you consulted Dr. Glauber, tho eminent specialist? Weakly Yes, I have, but I don't see how you can call lilm an "emlueut specialist" when he told me that oue treatment was enough and I needn't come again. Hoston Transcript. Delicate Touch. Wife I want to do some shopping this morning, dear. Can you let ma have a llttlo change? Husband How much do you want? Wife Fifteen cents. A dime for car fare and a nickel for Ice cream soda. An InslnnalloDt He I hear you are to be congratu lated? She Not at all, I assure you. Ho Ob, then It Is true that you are engaged to young DeDlank, eh? Knew Her nnalnea. "Is your wife a good cook?" asked Uie visitor from out of town. "Is she?" echoed the flat dweller. 'Say, you Just ought to b around when sho roasts the Janitor." Misses a Great Item, "It a young man wishes any consola tion when he's preparing for bis wed ding," said the supper table saga, "Just let him remember that he doesn't have to buy tho trousseau." llrothsr Sparke Attain. "Druddahs eu slstahs," said old Par son Sparks, "ef de church bell attract ed people lak de dlnneh bell de pews would bo filled In two minutes after de fus' liuglu.' " , The I'mlxr I'srlrt "Orr front fencs wants painting bad ly," said the head of the matrimonial combine. "I'll take a day off next week and paint It myself," "Well," rejoined the other portion of the outfit, "I'm sure no one is capable of painting l,t qny worse." Calm llsfore tlia Ktoras. Husband (reading) This paper says that the greutness of a father often pruve a stumbling block to the ad vancement of his children. Wife-Well, thank fortune, our chil dren will never be handicapped In that way. Bold Aualn O miner-1 saw n cane that could be converted Into a chair. (luycr That's nothing. I saw a ta ble that could be carried In the pocket (luiiuer You must be Joking. What kind of a table was It? Ouyer A time table. Urotherly Crltlclam. I'lrst Minister I noticed a sermon In a recent Issue of Illnnk's Magazln with your name attached. Second Minister (proudly) Yes; thi editor paid me $25 for that sermon. First Mlnlster-Ia that nil? Why, I wouldn't have allowed my name at tached to It for 1100. Chicago News. Hi ran are. "Mabel Is a good-looking lass," re marked Guldsburougb. "And she Is fond of surveying her self In a good looking-glass," added Throckmorton. Detroit Free Tress. Nat Bo Rnddan Afl.r All. "This Is so sudden," urged the sum mer girl. "Perhaps," he admitted. "A little later, possibly," she sug gested. "A little later I may not be disposed to say this at all," be asserted. "After all," she returned, "we have known each other nearly two weeks, haven't we? Perhaps It's not ao sud den." Tho wise summer girl makes sure of her first engagement In order to be aure that the summer will not pass without any. Chicago Evening Post 1I Loved In-tenae-lx. Miss Debbie Tante Oh, thank you ever so much for those beautiful opera glasses you sent me. Forgone I hope when you look Into the present In the future you will sometimes think of the past. New York Times. No More Money. Ohl Lawyer Why do you feel that your client will lose his case? Have you exhausted every means at your disposal to Young Lawyer No, but I have ex hausted all the means at his disposal. Philadelphia Press. Vary Kaajr to Pee. Coolly Oumplelgh I say, doc, don't cherkuow, my eyes are weak, Dr. Krusty No wonder. They're In a weak place. He Knew liar. "Do you know her well enough to talk to her?" "More. I know her well enough not to talk to her." Strenuous Overture. Tom Did Miss Warbler sing for you the other evening wheu you called on her?. Jack Yes, she sung a couple of songs after a good deal of pressing. To Get Kevence. Caroline I hate blm! I would do anything I could to make him miser able. Hazel Then why don't you marry blm. HU Only Comment. Mrs. Eupcck Did you bear about that man In Ohio who got Into trouble by marrying six women? Enpeck No; but I'm personally ac quainted with a man a good deal near er home who acquired a Job lot ot trouble by marrying only oue woman. As Explained. Pcckem So young Wllklns Is to be married next week. Is be? Enpeck Yes, I'm sorry to say be Is. Peckem Why are you sorry? Enpeck Hecause he's a gocd fellow who never harmed anyone. Compression. Qulnh -I tell you, a man In quick sand must feel In a tight place. De Foute That's nothing. Imagine a fat man In a bathing suit that shrinks. Thla la No Jake. "What should the patient do while awaiting the doctor's arrival?" asked the professor. "Make bis will," replied the pupil who was wise beyond bis day and generation. New Submarine Boat. Cavallero Pino Is the first submarine Inventor to discard the submarine for purposes ot warfare and to turn bis energies to essentially practical lines. If all accounts are to be believed, he Is pursuing aome very Interesting experi ments In the Gulf ot Genoa with what bo calls bis "uuder-water working boat." lie has designed a boat to re sist the enormous pressures that ac cumulate with depth, and has beeu so successful as to have descended lu safety to a depth of 40 feet. The boat Is spherical In form, with a diameter of ten feet, and has accommodations for a working crew of two persons. Ita practicability lies In the fact that It Is equipped with arms passing Into the boat through universal water-tight Joints and possessing wonderful grip ping qualities. "Work far Kipert Forgers. Constant employment, according to an advertisement fa an Italian news paper, can be obtained by experts capable of Imitating the handwriting ot old manuscripts. Seldom, perhaps, baa a forger been advertised for quite so openly. 1 -M-M -M--t GOOD i:Shorttorie$!i r-lfr i' 4 'l"l' I1 1" T I1 1" l"l"l"l"e l"H I I tfy ' It la related Hint a celebrated artist, DeillK aSHlll Wlini III- UIIAl-u inn luiwia with lo get such exquisite tints, replJ: -tl.nl..o l. I.l.l' A well-known English surgeon was Imparling aome clinical Instruction to hnlf a dozen students who accompa nied him In Ills round the other day. Pausing nt the bedside of a doubtful 'cne, he snld: "Now, gentlemen, do you tlilnk thl Is, or Is not, n case for operation?" One by one the students 'made their dlngnisls, and all of them , answered In the negative. "Well, gen l .i . i ,, ...i.i . i. iit-iiieu, uu nre uu wrung, iiaiu iuv wlilder of the free and flashing scalpel, "and I shall operate to-morrow." "No, you won't," said the patient, ns he rose In his bed; "six to one Is a good majority; gimme my clothes." The Hon. M. E. Ingnlls. of Clncln njtl. president of the "Hlg Four" Hall road, Is a Maine man, nud whenever he goes to his native Stnte always spends a good portion of hi time at Harrison, where be began the practice of law. Often In the evening he goes down to the village store and Joins the circle of loafers that gather to talk over the public and private events of the nation. State, town and village. The other day one old fellow Inquired: "Is It true that you get a salary of ten tbouiand dollars a year?" Mr. In gnlls admitted that he did make as much ns that In twelve months. "Well," remnrketl the old fellow, "It Is really remarkable what cheek and brass will do." Edward Harrlgau says that the most trying moment In his theatrical career occurred In New Orleans soon after the civil war. He had gone South with bis company, and, yielding somewhat anxiously to popular request, put on 'The Hlue and the Gray." The play bad lieen a success up North, but down South, with the air still full of the bitterness of the war. It was a dangerous experiment. Tony Hart was to represent the Confederate gray, so be bunted up a uniform of the Louisiana Tigers, and when he came marching on, young, stalwart and handsome, the typical soldier boy In the beloved uniform, tie bouse, men and women, cheered and shouted and cried for all their heroes embodied In this boy. Harrlgan, standing In the wings In bis Northern blue, waiting to go on, had Just one thought "They'll kill me!" Then be stepped out, the embodiment of the enemy, and a cold, dead silence fell upon the bouse. Not a band moved for him. The audience was tense with emotion, and there was only an Instant to net, If the play was to be saved. Harrlgan, big, kindly, good-looking, came swiftly down to the front and stepped over the foot light gutter, leaning down to them. "For the love of God. won't you give the Yankee a hand?" he exclaimed. At once the boues was caught, and all tbe pent-up feeling turned the right way. There was a yell of applause. DANGER IN THE HIGH DIVE. Daafneaa at Freqnent Injury to Those Not Properly Initiated. "Except for those who have an espe cial aptitude for It and they are few- high diving is a dangerous pastime to Indulge In," said a diving expert tbe other day. "A good diver may occa sionally lose his balance, but, being generally cool-beaded, he can regain It, or at any rate sufficiently so to pre vent Injury to himself. ' "Many of our young men and women who go to the seaside In tbe summer for the bathing to be bad come away permanently Injured for life by hav ing recklessly Indulged In high diving, and tew of them, as a rule, are able lo explain bow tbey received their In juries. In tbe majority of cases deaf ness Is tbe most frequeut Injury in flicted by diving. The cause ot this Is that few find it easy to drop the bead sufficiently to get It well between the arms. The result Is they receive some tremendous blows on the head, and If tbe water Is struck a bit side ways the ear gets most ot the con cussion and the result will frequently be a rupture ot the membrane of tbe tympanum. A good preventive for such au accident Is to place In the ears a little medicated wool or cotton dipped lu oil. "Another Injury to health caused fre quently by diving arises from getting large quantities ot water Into the lungs. Tbe extent of tbe barm douo lu cases of this sort depends on the condition ot the water as to Its clean Uuess. I have often seen boys, for In stance, dive Into tbe water at places where It was absolutely filthy from the evacuation of drainage Into It. The danger to health, especially to those with not overstrung constitutions, can readily be seen. "The higher the dive the longer, ot course, will be the duration under wa ter. Now, an Inexperienced diver Is rarely able to hold his breath under water for more than a second or two at a time, and It the dive Is an unusu ally blgb one he will, In nine cases out of ten, give up tbe struggle In trying to retain his breath, and Invariably, too. Just before bis head reaches the surface, The result not Infrequently Is that the water that has escaped Into bis lungs and stomach Is far more than Is good for him, and to many It Is positively Injurious. "Tho best thing I know of to bring one quickly to tbe surface In high div ing Is to have a piece of cork fastened under each nrmplt. Corks weighing four lounces each are sufficiently strong In buoyancy for a man of 150 pounds In weight. There are many devices by which tho corks can be kept secured under the armpits. Per haps the simplest Is to sew each cork into a tight-fitting canvas or cotton bag and then again sew each bag on to the bathing suit by a couple of strands, allowing the strands to run over tho shoulders. e'Tboso with weak hearts," tbe ex pert added, "cannot be too strongly advised against high diving. The spring, tbe rush through space, tbe break and the entering and clearing of the water Am altogether too ex citing for weak hearts, and especially so In cold weather." Philadelphia Ledger, 8HE PREFERRED THE QOWN. Koniance of Million Hollar lllock ot Ileal I'.sUte In HI. Lonla. La tiles, which would you rather have, a black velvet dross or tha block on Washington avenue, between Ninth and Tenth streots, valued at 1 1,000, 000? It would not take a lady ot tbe present day long to decide In favor of the block, but In the year 1820 Oapt. James Kennedy made this offer to hla wife and she decided In favor ot the black velvet dress, says the St. Louts Globe-Democrat. Hut If Mme. Ellso Marie Saugraln Kennerly had lived In thla generation she would not have chosen the black velvet dress, however fond she might be of pretty gowns, for the block ot laud which she spurned for the dreee Is now valued at f.1,000 a foot, and roughly estimated Is worth 1,000,000. And no doubt her descendants of the present day would be very well satis fied If the land was In the family, as well as the portrait of the lady In her celebrated black velvet gown. Capt. James Kennerly, the husband of tbe lady who wns not only fond ot pretty gowns, but wns one of the most beautiful women in the northwest ter ritory, was a merchant and went each year to Pittsburg to replenish his stock, and to bring home tbe prettiest things he could find In the way ot dreea for bis beautiful wife. He was about to take the usual trip and knew that his wife bad set ber heart on a black velvet dress. Hut Jeremiah Connor, who waa well known at tbe time as a speculator In real estate, was bard up and wanted Capt. Kennerly to buy this block of land, which was across the street from the tract where the St. Louis univer sity was situated. Capt. Kennerly no doubt thought It would be a good In vestment and that bis wife might like to have It for her own, and so gave her the choice of It or the dress. Wom anlike, she preferred tbe dress, whose value ahe was certain of, to the real estate, which was so uncertain In value. WOMAN PHY8ICIAN IN ARMY. Anita Mcwcomb McKtt One of Fw la That Capacity in Spanish War. It la a common thing nowadays to hear the boast "she went to the front ns an army nurse," but there are few women who can claim tbe distinction of service In war as full-fledged army physicians. Anita Newcomb McKee, of Washington, D. 0., Is one of these few. During the Spanish-American war she was one of the first to volun teer ber services and ahe will long be remembered by the boys In the Cuban hospitals as was "Mother" Btckerdlke by the old boys of tbe army of tbe Tennessee. Arid Acres Reclaimed. Seventy-five thousand acrea of arid land will be reclaimed and opened fot settlement In Idaho aa the result ot a deal Just made by an Irrigation com pany. A big canal Is to be constructed from the Snake River, about twelve miles above the town of Blackfoot, In Bingham County, and It will run southwest fifty-eight miles. It ter minates Just below the American falls. Hlalne County, where It dischargee Its surplus water back Into the Snake Hirer. Tbe country that will be traversed by the canal Is considered one of tbe most fertile valleys along tbe river, and for years has been an object of envy to agriculturists. The canal will be eighty-fire feet wide at the top, six ty feet wide at the bottom and capable of carrying six feet of water, a river In Itself. It will .have tbe capacity ot Irrigating 75,000 acres of land. Ten thousand acres of school land will be watered under contracts made by the company with the State ot Idaho. The Snake River has a watershed of over 10,000 square miles. At the time when tbe greatest amount ot water la required for Irrigation purposes there Is the greatest amount of water avail able. When the river Is the lowest there Is five times more water avail able at tbe point ot diversion than can be carried In tbe canal. The amount ot water appropriated. If placed upon the land at one time, Is sufficient In quantity to cover the entire tract to a depth of over six feet. Frederick Douglaa. In eulogy of Douglass the Hon. Will iam A. Sutherland said: "Decreed by birth to live and die In chains, doomed by tbe law of the land to mental, moral aud spiritual dark ness; fleeing from tbe laud of his un known father, laboring with his hands hardened with plantation toll to sup port bis wife and family, a requisition for bis arrest Issued by the Governor of Virginia, chased from Rochester ky United States marshals, he lived to bo welcomed by the nobility of Europe, to be a guest at the tables ot the titled ones of tho earth, and to carry bis black face and his back scarred by the stave driver's whip Into the Electoral College of the State ot New York. Four-Track News. Provoked to Had Language, "He proposed to her while riding In an automomlle." "Yea?" "She accepted and he tried to kit her." "And?" "And he steered the machine against a tree. Then the language ho used caused ber to break the engagement." Brooklyn Lite. Married Men Live Longer. Married men live longer than bache lors. In other words, conjugal life seems a necessary condition ot longev ity. An authority cites the cases of fifty centenarians, not one of whom la a bachelor. A curious fact, too, Is that these fifty centenarians were all widowers. Leading a Quiet Life. Dick Tbote folks next door bare an awful good time. Dora How? Dick Ob, they don't go anywhere and they don't entertain. Detroit IVee Press.