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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (July 17, 1903)
CllAI'THIl Ml iContlnuxl.t '
On htr return from the ride, Winifred
went, ss was her custom, In Ihs.lillle
silting mom appropriated to the Us of
M ml mm' iln Mimlollrii. I.ailr llrncr wilt
tilting I Im iv, lo. Him kltacil tliriil both.
"You bring the outer sir In with you,
my chllil," mdIiI the old French lady; "you
are ss fresh ss a new picked rose."
"We have hail a Korid ranter across lh
common, dear madame-lt makes mm feel
freth. Did ynu tmtli liavs a pleasant
"Vrs," Mlil I.sily llraee, "Slid I Hail
ynu hare gut the ponies Into inch order
that thry sre at quiet na luiiibt,, At
leant l?ant gives ynu nil the crcillt.''
"Il wants In are you drive tlieui In
the park," reaiimed LsMy llraee; "he )
with a mm' art ill liril nexa, ami you In
the front aenl, there Mould not be a mum
rlegant 'turnout In linjon."
'Taney audi hnnur anil atate for s
farmer's ilaimliterl" aalil Winifred, half
crave, half Ironleitl.
I.aily (Iraru tnuk her hninl ami drew
her toward herself.
"My dear, whot alia you In-day? Yon
are not like yiur-lf. I never hcunl you
ay these. tliluiia before., U Mr. Hutt
ings anything to do with It? Your man
ner to him moat chilling. Old ho
ever iilTend ynu?"
"Offend me? I.aily (Irnee how should
he? He'ttas far above ma when vie met
Hut her voire trembled, and alio hur
ried from the mom,
"Madame," uld Lady (Irare, "cau you
throw nny light oil the subject do ynu
know It anything ever ima.nl lictwc.ii
them that should Ulal.ii her aeeui proud
ami resentful tunard him?"
Madame de lloiitolli-ii liealtateil.
"1 ahuulil no) fnl Jiiatlfied In telling
Ihla to anyone viae; Inn you have her
Interest ni much at heart na I hate. The
nmmer before last, when he firm came
home, Uiey met by aciUctit. lie naa
liamlanini. and faaclnatlng, ami, I believe,
the drat mail of ton nml breeding alio
ever met with. No M under, thru, the
'tmur romantic child fell In lore with him.
Humalmw thry tin t again, ami he mailu
an rscuan lu rail st the Farm, and alio
was st liiuna alone, I dare say hit look
a fancy to her, large-eyed, KMceful chllil
tu aliv naa, anil flattered and talked in
her as turn of tin- world will Hue mis
took It furjuve fur a romantic devollnu,
mi il?ulit, eiicrras her foollah Utile brain
had eonrefrrd Slight txi possible bclttrcii
s great gentleman like the matter of
llarell Court, ami her unn humble self.
I warned herI wanted to spare her thu
heartache the nil very Hint audi a dr
lualon might csiiae her; tint, poor child:
he wna to hoocat, an true herself, aim
could not believe the man the worshiped
sa a hern' could be capable of what the
deemed hasrueta, mid at laat, by a cruel
leaauii I a In nut at liberty tu tell you
huff the futllid that, whllu be waa feign
ing lure for her, he waa, In truth, devot
ing hla real attention to her cumin Flora.
It was a grlevollt blow. I'erhsps hla prea
rare brought hack s blt'er rcmcinbrsnre,
and the Involuntarily reaenled wbst ah
dc.ui.d his lucontldsrat cruelty,"
"I cannot umleratsud It," l.sdy Orsce
ssld. "Twice tu-dsy I saw lilin look st
her ss I should have fancied a mau could
only look when he luved a woman desrly.
Ami yet you may he right, for I remem
ber fancying there waa a tinge of regret
lu lilt esprraalun."
Isord Harold Hrtklno bsd never been
to tiny at Ktiduti Vale since Wlulfred
lisd lived there, and this was the only
reaaon I.aily draco ever had lo regret
her pretence it kept the nephew whom
, aha loved away. Once, when ahe had a
letter from him, the read It, and sighed
heavily as she laid It down. Winifred
ittt.tMpatnoil tt-tinf tloi Hlf-lt meant Mill
were alone and said!
"I know you are unhnppy because you
do nut tee Lord Harold, Lady llraee.
I'leatc let me gu away toiiiunlioro for a
time, nml lei him coinu here. If he dues
not like to meet me."
"I do not thluk, my dear, tint ho minds
meeting ynu so much at that he fears
hit pretence might make you uneaty,"
"Oh, Lady (Irace," cried Winifred,
"w-hv should you why should ho think
of me'( Am I not here from your kind
ness and charity? I wat only, too much
honored by hit erer thinking of me; but
he will hare forgnttcu mo now, and why
ahnulil we not meet ns If such a thlug
bad never happened?"
"I will tell him," Lady Grace said; and
she wroto to blm that Vary day, begging
him to come.
The tiext day ho arrived, to hla aunt's
great delight. The meeting between him
mid Winifred was cordlnl and unaffected.
The restraint wore off, nml they rclops.
-ed Into mi easy friendship; at all oveuts,
the young lady did.
Of course, ns soon as Lord Harold
Jieard hla old friend Krrol Hastings was
nt the Court ho betook hlmtelf at once to
see him, although he wna coming to din
ner thu following day,
"I shall most likely sleep nt the Court
to-night, aunt, and we will ride over to
gether lo-morriiw morning, Of course,
he stays, hero the night?"
"Of course, my dear," and Lord Harold
Tode off. Tho day seemed a llttlo dull to
Winifred after he had gono, Bhe dreaded
seeing Mr. Hastings again, particularly
before Lord Harold; and then thu won
dered If her namo would be mentioned
between ths two men, and If so, what
they wonld say about her, Mr, Hastings
hud an unpleassnt recollection of Mr.
Clayton's remarks about Miss Byre's
flirtation with Lord Hhrold Krtklne, and
an uncomfortable sense of tho latter's
present golden opportunities; nud lord
Harold remembered uneasily that some
thing had been said about Huntings! and
Miss Kyro wandering together lu the
Ilntvll woods, Ily common consent, then,
Ihcr, name was avoided ns much as possi
ble, and the two men had plenty of other
topics for conversation, until the next
day, Tho following morning Lord Har
old bethought himself of calling on the
''Champions, and Mr, Hastings volunteer
ed to accompany him. They found Lord
Lancing and his sister playing croquet
-with Flora and Itegluald Champion, and
-on Invitation Joined In the game. It was
-curloiu enough that, although Flora look
ed haudsome, and used all tho arts they
.had onca thought fascinating, both tbeso
mien contrasted her unfavorably wlth-hor
The two gentlemen did not arrive at
Emlon Vale until It was time to dress
for dinner, and only just appeared la
dhe drawing room as the gong aounded
tot tii second time. Sir Olsytoa gave
NLY A FARMER'S
for it asm it.
hit arm lo tho old French lady. Mr.
Ilntllnga look hla hoaleaa, and Lord Har
old followed with Winifred. They tut
tide by tide at dinner, and llrrol felt St
If he cuiild scarcely take hit eyet off her.
Hhe laughed slid Inlked with l.nnl llarulil
lu a low, alninat ('treating voice, Mr.
Hastings thmighl; and It made hit bluod
Lirol had, of rniirae. never heard Mlat
liyrn ting. When they went luto the
drswlng loom he said to her:
"1 hear ynu ting very beniitlrully, Mitt
Uyre. Will you glte me tho pleature of
hearing your voice?"
"I do lint think my tinning Mould glva
you any pleature," the answered, coldly.
"You are, of rourae, sccualouifd to hear
highly cultivated volcci-mllie Is only a
rude, untaught, cuiinlry one."
He drew back, wounded lu Ihe quick.
"Do come ami ting, Winifred," ex
claimed Lord llaruld.
Killing down In the piano, ahe ttng her
mint touching, plalutlre tongt, one alter
the nlhi-r, with a pnlhua that went lo the
heart of each one who llatened. Hhe nev
er aaug mure beautifully than on that
night, and Krrol leaned agalnat the rm
braturn of Ihe window, where hit facn
wat screened from observation, snd
drank In every lone of Ihe voice, which
was not ouly besutlful In Itself, but
which ho loved. He never loved her le
fore ur afterward aa he luved her that
night, llttenlug for Ihe Ilrit lime to the
eiqulallit temlerueta of her voice.
When Winifred dually left Ihe piano,
the paaaed dose lo the curtain, end Krrol
rame forwent. Hhe spoke on lh iuipulae
uf the moment.
"After all, my tinging waa not worth
"Ynu did not ting for me," he antwer
Later, thinking over the eventt of the
evening, he found It an utter Imposalbll
lly lu arrive at any definite conclusion
as to Ihe feelings and motives which In
fluenced Winifred's conduct toward him.
Wat hit presence really hateful lo her?
did ahe bear au unrelenting soger toward
hint fur hit unworthy treatment of her
long ago? and had every Vestige of the
love he knew thu had once boms him
.11 i-d out?
"Hah!" he thought, "I am a fool for my
paint. It It puaslble that I, who am to
all Intents tsd purposes a man of ths
world, should Dnd niytelf eating my heart
mil fur Ihe love of a simple llttlo coun
try girl? To-mnrrow shall decide tny fu
ture course of action, and if I tee ahe does
Hut care fur mo I will tchuol myself to
meet her with indifference."
At breakfast the following morning
both Sir Clayton and Lady (irnee Far
ipihar pressed him to tiny until tho next
day. and he consented.
"And now," said I.tdy llrsce, "you
young peuple must go for a long ride this
lovely mortilug, aud I shall shut myself
up with my butband and hla learned
Ixird Harold went to orderths horses.
Winifred no longer rode the quiet old bsy
horse, but a hsndtomo chestnut fir Clay
ton hid bought fur her. Until the previ
ous day Winifred had never In her life
been provoking or a flirt, but of rourst
those qualities must hsva been dormsnt
somewhere In her heart, or they would
scarcely have cropped up like' the drag
on's teeth at a momeul'a notice. The
whole ride through the flattered and flirt
ed with Iord Harold, and uttered little
malicious, biting remsfks to Mr. Hast
ings, with tbe most ntlre, nucontclous
The ride mutt have been'raught with
considerable eujoynietit for Krrol, at ev
ery tnmlng, every fence, every heath
seemed to bring to Winlfred'a mind
some agreeable reminiscence connected
with her other companion. Aa they were
Hearing the park gates, a farmer stopped
Lord Harold to speak about tome hut!
nets, and Mr. Haatliigs and Winifred
rode on, Krrol bent down toward her
"Ml llyre, have I no hope that you
will ever feel kinder toward ine than
yon do now?"
"I have no unkind feeling toward you,
"Then shall I say less Indifferent?"
"Can one help feeling IndltTereiit?" re
He turned aw.iy, itung to the quick.
Winifred kept up the same demeanor
toward the two men during the whule,
ride; and then at night, when she went
to her room, the cried bitterly, nml hated
und reproached herself unreasonably.
"I do lovo hhn I do love him!" she
sobbed to herself over ami over ngalu;
but the next morning the was aa cold
and repellent to him as erer, ami would
hardly wish him good-by before ho mount
ed and rode away.
The afternoon's post bag contained two
lettera In tho same haudwrltlng one fur
Winifred, the other for Lady (Trace, The
correspondent waa Mrs, Clayton.
"Dear Winifred" (sho wrote to the for
mer) "Do atk Lady draco Farquhar to
spare you to me for a week, Mr. Clayton
has taken a villa on Ihe Thames for tho
summer, and I um going to spend n few
days there beforu we go to town for tho
season. I expect to bo very dull and
quiet, so that It you coqio to me you will
be performing nn actual charity,"
The note to Lady flraco was couched
In much tho same terms: "Do sparo Wini
fred, and persuado her to come to me. My
husband and aunt have quarreled, and 1
am so terribly dull."
Mrs. Clayton received Winifred with
"1 ant so glad you hnvo comet" she ex
claimed; "your companionship will make
me forget half my troubles. We shall
have a tete-a-tete dinner to-night. Mr.
Clayton la In town."
Winifred had not been Ore hours la her
friend's houto before she was aware that
Feo had made a miserable marriage; that
sho had bartered all her possessions for
nn Inadequate value; and that sho almost,
If not quite, hated tbe man whose name
During the time that Winifred stayed
at ths Cedars, she hsd plenty' of oppor
tunity of observing how this ill-assorted
couple lived. Francis Clayton's manner
to hla wife was In itself an offense, al
most every word he addressed to her con
tained a covert sneer, and he seemed to
find no greater pleasure than In thwart
ing her wishes and contradicting her or
ders. Winifred detested him, and was sys
tematically cold and' repellent In her man
ner toward htm. He saw It, snd laughed
socretly to himself.
"Llttlo fooll" ho thought, contemptu
ously, "she assumes these airs of virtuous
Indignation with huge propriety. Per
haps the simpleton thinks that I am In
love with herl"
He reiUulileil'-nli sttentlont -en seelnt
that they annoyed her, If hit wife sat
down to Ihe piano, lis would get up ami
leave the room, or else cielnlin:
"For heaven's take, Marlon, don't make
Ihul horrid noise; you have not a vestige
of voice left. Do get up, and let Mitt
Hyrt sings Ifpf performance la worth
listening lit. Crime, Miss llyre, won't you
ting me something 7"
"Mo, I will noli" cried Winifred, sn
grlly, one day, tears of vemiloo In her
eyes. "If ynu cniinol sdmlre the beauty
of Fee's tinging, I ttke It at no compli
ment thtt you should praise me."
"My dear Mist Kyre, pray don't be
violent," tsld Mr, Clayton, with a ma
licious siiills. "I tm afraid your temper
It gelling spoilt by Mrs. Cltyton's ex
sinple; mine bat suffered already from
her baneful Influence."
"I think ahe must he sn sngel to here
lived with you so long!" Winifred re
claimed, In hot, sngry championship of
her friend. Hhe wsa not worldly wise
enough yet to shalalu from taking up
other people's quarrels,
Mr. Clayton remembered her wordt,
and bore malice toward her for thrm.
(To lie continued. I
MOSQUITOES IN LOUISIANA.
Thar Are Maar and Active, and One It
a Monster In HI-,
"You inny talk about your mosqui
toes up hero In Ihe North," said a resi
dent of lluyou Hum, "but If you should
epenil an hour or so llshliig In some of
our Louisiana swamp bayous you
would wonder that you ever complain
ed uf your New Jersey or Htaten Inland
lii(M(tilto(n as nn Instrument of torture.
There are eight or nine different va
rieties of moKiultoc hatched In those
dnrk nud noisome swamp bayous, and
no mutter which kind samples you you
will wish It hud been some other kind,
for It will seem that no other kind could
bite quite ns bail ns that one. There nrv
gray iuoiqultoci--loug, gaunt, woltlsh
looklng fellows- reddlsb-brown mosqui
toes, blnck motqultovs of a bluish cast
and one that Is nearly green. Tbe one
that will strike you as the moat for
midable Is ono we call a galllnlppcr
down there, aud It resembles that
harmless Insect both In size nnd make
up. It Is easily half an Inch long In
body, with n spread of wing an Inch
wide, and n kit lq which It carries Its
IooIm that la ns lone ns Its tiodr.
"This fearfully equipped lusect mon
ster bus a saw, a gimlet, a lance and 1
n suction pump. As he can bore through '
your lot and puncturo your foot with
ease und dispatch, you may well linug
Inn how tinieti nrntiM-ltnn rlothlnff or
gloves are ngulusf lilt assaults, I'ortu i
natcly, though, this giant mosquito
Itu't poisonous. The damage bo does to
your physical comfort done' by bis
boring und sawing nnd lancing of the i
flesh. That hurts like pounding your
thumb with n hammer, and leaves a
apot that will be sore nnd tender for
"All the remaining eight varieties are :
full of venom nnd vim to get It where t
It will do tho Kirn lest harm lo the I
greatest number, but the worst of all Is .
tho smallest one of tbe lot. This Is a I
grny mosquito, not more tbnn nn eighth !
of an Inch long, but every placo that he i
sinks bis stinger In on you will Instant
ly rlso up as big as a hickory nut, turn
as rod na lire and pain llko a hornet's
sting. Aa the reservoir containing that
Insect's venom cannot possibly be
larger than a tly speck, the virulence
of It may be Imagined.
"The experienced person never goes
flsjilng In those mosquito-Infected
bayous," continued the Loulslanan, ac
cording to tho New York Times, "un
less be has his head and face Incased In
netting, llxed on a light steel frame,
and with thick gloves on his hands.
Oloves, though, are no bar to the big
galllnlpper mosquito's kit of tools.
"Why does any ono go fishing In those
noisome places? Ilecnuso the tisblug Is
always good, while It never Is In tho
open water bayous of Louisiana. Perch,
bass, Jackflsh, as tho pickerel Is called
down there, and other fish of fair game
quality nrc abundant In thoeo dark,
sluggish, root-tnngled waters, and the
enthusiastic angler Is willing to daro
tho mosquitoes nnd other poisonous
denizens of thoso swnmps to obtain n
few hours' sport with his hook and
Stories of I'ntlier Taylor, tho sailors'
friend, aro perennial lit their warm hu
man Intercut. Ho wits n man who, at
nil times, gpokowtth nn engaging frank
ness which sometimes becamo i more
brusque than was desirable,
A bunker from the West End of Ilos
ton once visited Father Taylor's church
during a fervid revival, and varied the
usual character of the meeting by a
rather pompous address.
Its purport was that tbe merchant
princes of lloston were n very benefi
cent set of irion, whoso wealth nnd en
terprise gnvo employment to thousands
of sntlors, nnd Unit It was, above all,
thu duty of sen men to show their grati
tude, to tho merchants.
At the cloao of his speech the banker
wns somewhat tuken aback when Po
ther Taylor rose nnd naked, simply;
"Is there nny other sinner from up
town who would like to Bay a word?"
An ICnty Job.
A certain member of Parliament baa
expressed a pronounced disbelief In
most of the wonderful tales told of tho
precocity of children. Ho contends
that tbo Btorlbs nre usually manufac
tured by older persons, with tbo solo
object of making amusing reading.
Oneo In a while, however, his theory re
ceives r setback by something In his
own experiences, and ho confesses that
ho bns come across some genuine hu
mor aud some unconscious witticisms.
Onu such wns brought to his notice very
X Sunday-school examination was In
progress, ami tho examining visitor put
"What did Moses do for a living while
no wna with Jethro?"
Following a long silence a little voice,
piped up from tho back of the room:
"Plenso, sir, bo married one of Jeth-
l'loatantry In Passing.
"Well, I declare," romarked tho thin
man, who was being uncomfortably
crowded by a very stout person, "the
trolley company ought to chnrgo pas
sengers by weight."
"Think bo?" retorted the stout per
Bon, "At thht rate It wouldn't bo worth
their while to tako you on at olL" Phil
Tbo greatest Ormucsa la the great
ADVENTURES OF YOUNG LADS SMITTEN
WITH A DESIRE TO SEE THE WORLD.
AIH'ltOlO attempt to have a vacation at all cost wax mode by a cer
tain 'Itoy, whotfi cxpcrlcnru I related In Chum. Ho Joined a circus
with tho Intention of Incoming a llptvtainor; liut there was no va
cancy In that department, and liefore ho' made up his mind what else
lin would llko to do, the clrcua people worked hi in In a "tent man." He
had to help to put up and take down the great tenti at each stopping place.
Incidentally, he worked all the rent of the time at odd Jobi. The clrcua
men, In fact, found blin so useful that they locked blm up In an empty
leopard cage each night. In order that, after having been kept at work alt
day by a rope's end, tin might not bare a chance to abandon hli clrcua career
after dark, Ultimately, the boy hid for twenty-four hoora In a disused lime
kiln In one of the town he visited, and finished hla outing by giving him
elf up to the police autborltlra In order to be sent home.
Not long ago an American boy, thinking that a vacation spent on hla
uncle's farm waa likely to be without adventure, stowed himself away and
journeyed a long distance on the buffers of a freight train. He thought ha
bad dono a rather line thing, but tho railway people held a different opinion.
"It's our turn now," thi-y said.
Then they explained to him that to send him back again would cost three
dollars, and he already owed them three dollars for the trip down. Bo be
was taken to the machine shops and directed to earn six dollars by Sling
tubing smooth. A watchman was deputed to keep a fatherly eye on him
The now hand managed to write to bis people; but, very wisely, they
agreed that to "serve his time," might teach him a useful lesson, so they
paid no ransom. It took the boy nearly three weeks to (lie bis way to liberty.
At a harbor of Continental Europe, In which a submarine war vessel
was undergoing tests, a third young adventurer was smitten with a desire to
become a "stowaway." Ho was continually begging one of the crew, whom
he knew, to smuggle him on board. At but. after a quiet little talk with the
boy's father, the sailor consented.
In the dusk of evening the boy arrived at the meeting placo appointed,
close to thu sea. "We must blindfold you," said the sailor. This was
done, and then the boy was led about here and tbero for some time, between
two grinning mariners, and watched by a. grinning parent When he waa
thoroughly dazed, he waa pushed Into a narrow, cold metal apartment, and
cautioned to keep perfectly still until some one came for him.
"And mind you keep that bandage on till you're told to take It off,"
added the sailor.
The boy wnlted for hours. It seemed to blm hardly daring to breathe,
but trying to think that be was having a great time. Then he took off the
bandage, he was In total darkness. More hours went by, and no one came
back for blm. He was now not only hungry, and cold, but also frightened.
No sound reached blm. Was he really alone In the submarine boat In the
depths of the sea?
No he was not. At 1 o'clock In the morning his father, still smiling,
rescued blm from an old ship's Iron cistern. In which he had been Imprisoned
on tbe beach, The submarine boat and her crew bad, In the meantime, been
towed away to unother seaport; but the boy waa da longer Interested In a
ODDEST COUNTY JAIL
Graham County Jail, at Clifton, Ariz., Is probably the most unusual In
America. It comprises four large apartments, hewn In the side of a bill of
solid quartz rock. The entrance to tbe Jail Is through a boxlike vestibule,
built of heavy masonry and equipped with three sets of gates of steel bars.
Here and there In the rocky walls holes have been blasted for windows, and
In these apertures a series of massive bars of steel have been fitted firmly In
tbe rock. The tloor of the rockbound Jail Is of cement, and the prisoners
are confined wholly In tbe larger apartuents. In some places the wall of
quartz about the Jail Is fifteen feet thick. Some of the most desperate crim
inals on the southwest border have been confined In the Clifton Jail, and so
solid and heavy are the barriers to escape that no one there has ever
attempted a break for freedom. The notorious Black Jack was there' for
months. Clifton Is one of the great copper mining camps In Arizona, and
has the reputation of being as depraved a community as yet exists on the
frontier of civilization. In summer the mercury there frequently rises to
120 In the shade, and In the winter It never goes below 40 degrees.
WITH THIS TRAINED OSTRICH
HE HAS K WINGED STEED
Kthan Allen Hitchcock, Secretary of
the Interior, recently visited tho Hot
Springs ostrich farm, and had tbe ex
perience of riding behind one of the
largest ostriches In the country, Tbe
ostrich Is known as "Ulack Diamond,"
who Is big and fleet, and docile as a
well-trained horse. Illack Diamond
was hitched to a runabout, and Sec
retary Hitchcock had the novel sensa
tion of riding behind this bird that
trotted as fast ns a borso can run.
"LUXUfilES" ON BATTLESHIPS.
Modern Vettel Carries USO Tons of
Ilenr Admiral Bowles, chief of the
Duroau of Construction, boa mado a
calculation booed on Investigations
mado by officers of his bureau of tho
wolght of "luxuries" carried on a bat
tleship of recent construction. In tho
preparation of plana and designs for
war vessels there Is almost a constant
contention bctwen tho several bureaus
In regard to the weights that should
be carried, each branch contending for
the Installation of machinery and de
vices deemed essential. These contro
versies aro usually settled by a com
promise, In which something Is yielded
by each, but the result Is often unsat
isfactory, and not Infrequently has
proved detrimental to tho efficiency of
At a recent meeting of tho Board of
Construction Admiral Bowles declared
that on each battleship there were 350
tons of luxuries, a statement which
startled tho members of tho board.
Included In theso so-called luxuries
aro materials of every description that
cannot bo classified as necessities, such
as furniture, Ico machines, refrigera
tors, radiators and tho machinery re
quired for them.
It Is pointed out that flagships are
supplied with two bathrooms aud ap
purtenances for tho flag officer, while
ono bath tub Is deemed sufficient for
the ward room, In which fifteen or
twenty officers live. There will bo un
doubtedly a protracted discussion as
to what constitutes luxuries, but offi
cers genernly believe that much of tho
weights which Admiral Bowlos de
s liu .
IN THE UNITED STATES.
scribed might be abolished and the
space given to what iwiy be called ne
cessities. There will be little discussion outside
of the flag rank as to the necessity for
two bath tubs In the elegant and spa
clous quarters set apart for tbe ad
miral. The additional bath Is provided
for the guest of the admiral In case
ho should have one, which seldom hap
pens. New York Times.
A nail or Flro from tho Sky.
One of the strangest freaks In elec
trical phenomena ever reported oc
curred In Northern California recently.
During tli day the thermometer bad
fallen, and about four o'clock there
was a slight fall of snow. There had
been no thunder or lightning during
the day. Suddenly and without warn
ing, from what appeared a clear spot
In the heavy bank of clouds overhead,
a brilliant ball of flro shot from the
sky and struck the ground on a farm
about two miles east of Anderson, a
small hamlet. Tbe Illumination was
plainly visible In Redding, thirteen
miles distant A few seconds after
the descent of tho fire ball thero was
a loud report, like a mighty explo
sion. Tho shock was felt In lteddlng,
where windows rattled nnd houses
shook. In tho village of Anderson th6
people were panic-stricken. Glass In
windows was broken, walls were
cracked, bouses rocked aa though
tossed by an earthquake, and tele
phone, telegraph and electric light
wires were put out of action for a
The terra "blue stockings," as ap
plied to women with literary tenden
cies, Is not now considered either ele-v
gnnt or appropriate, although as first
used thero was some warrant for Its
employment Its origin Is traced to
the days of Samuel Johneon, and was
applied then as now to women who
cultivated learned conversations and
found enjoyment In the discussion of
questions which had been monopolized
by men. About 1750 It became quite,
tho thing for ladles to form evening
assemblies, when they might partic
ipate In talk with literary and Ingeni
ous men. One of tbe best known and
most popular members of ono of these
.assemblies waa said to bavo been a
Mr. Stllllugfleet, who always wore
blue stockings, and when at any time
ho happened to bo absent from these
gatherings It was usually remarked
that "we can do nothing without blue
stockings," and by degrees tho term
"blue stockings" was applied to all
gatherings of a literary nature, and
eventually to the ladles who attended
There Is no earthly hope for a man
who Is too lasy to acquire enemies.
HUMOIi.Oi!1 THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD DY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Oddf Cartons mad Latishabl I'bate
of Human Nature Orapblcallr Por
trayed by ICinlneut Word ArtlaU of
Oar Own Daj-A lladsat f Von,
The great detective was standing at
tbe telephone noting down the descrip
tion of a female kleptomaniac.
Tapering hands," came over the
"Hub!" exclaimed the g. d. "No
wonder she Is Hght-flngcrcdr
"At last," exclaimed the medical stu
dent, "I have discovered a sure corn
I "Put me wise," said his friend.
f "Have your feet amputated," replied
, the embryo M. D., with ghoulish
A Call Ham,
"I've got a good story to tell yon. 1
don't think I ever told It to you be
"Is It really funny?"
"Ves, indeed. It Is."
Then you haven't told It to me
"My husband used to nave fits when
b was a young man," said Mrs.
"Indeed!" exclaimed Mrs. Marks.
"And he doesn't have them any more?"
"No." replied Mrs. S. "He buys hla
clothes at a misfit emporium now."
A nlatsrtrd View.
Times ain't what they used to be,"
said Farmer CorntosseL "In the days
gone by It used to be a disgrace to be
"Isn't It now?"
"I dunno. 'Pears to me like It's the
only way to get your name In the pa
per nlong with tbe millionaires that
own fast horses and big automobiles."
Idabtntno; 'n Georgia
"Yes, suh," said the colored, farmer,
"llghtnln' bit two er my mules at de
same time en I hain't seen dat llght
nln' In dls neighborhood fum dat day
ter dls." Atlanta Constitution.
Little Willie Say, pa, what Is a con
Pa A contingent fee, my son. Is a
lawyer's conditional fee. If he brings
a suit for a client and loses he gets
nothing; If he -wins the client gets
Ok the Links.
"How are you coming along at
"Break any records as yet?"
"Well, I've broken twenty-six golf
sticks, the front gate, tbe honeysuckle
vine, the cat's back and my right leg
since I began playing, so I guess I'm
Caute for Joy.
Mamma Yes, the elopers have been
discovered at Niagara Falls. They
are going to telegraph home for for
giveness. Papa Thank goodness! I thought
they were going .to telegraph home for
La Montt What Is the difference be
tween a "personally conducted, tour"
and any other kind?
La Moyne Oh, about f 100 or so.
Itubblna It In.
Bridget Miss a lady s Is not at home,
Mr. Kallow Itealljr? Pshaw! Thafs
Bridget Yls, sor: but she said If
that's a box of candy ye're carryln
she hoped ye'd 1'aye. It Philadelphia
At tho Clrcua,
"Here, take this rifle!" cried1 the ex
cited showman. "The leopard has es
caped, If you find blm shoot him' on
"Which s-spot sir?" gasped the
green tent boy.
Working a Blnft
"now did Bluffwood get along In
such a swell neighborhood without on
"Ob, every one thought be owned
one. He bought a horn which be
would toot In the stable, and they all
thought the automobile -was out ot order."
Wasn't Unit that Way.
Kdytli I consulted ft fortuat-teller
to-day, but she was a fake,
Maymc How do yntl know?
Kdyth How do I know? Why, ths
told me that I would be married noon,
but my hnsband would no) bs wealthyi
A Little Rahln'd Tltaa.
"Say," demanded the ngly Individ,
nal, suddenly appearing from a dark
alley, "what time Is It?"
"You're Just about two minute
late," replied the Chlcagoan. 'That
other gentleman yon set? running away
has my watch." Philadelphia Press.
It Stopped tha Annmtal.
William Yon must remember, my
dear, that my taste 'la better than
His Dear Wife Undoubtedly, when
wo come to consider that you married
mo and I married you.
And William said no more. Comic
Obeying; the Law,
nusband (Irritably) It lTi't a year
since you said you believed our mar
riage was made In heaven nnd yet you
order me around as If I wasn't any
body. Wife (calmly) Order Is heaven's
first law. New York Weekly.
Whr flhould If Do II?
Landlord (to departing guest) I
trust I may rely upon your recom
mending my establishment?
Ouest I do not happen to have at
this moment a mortal enemy In the
"Yesterday afternoon between 2:10
and 3:15." said the bright boy, "my
mother killed my father- "
"What! Why, your father went to
New York yesterday morning."
"Yes, and at 3:10 ma got a telegram
from. blm. She killed blm ha half a
dozes different ways before 3:15, when
she summoned up enough nerve to
read tbe message." Phtldelpbla Press.
Weat Up la ImoVt,
"So Edgewood got rid of mosquitoes
with kerosene. I'll Just go horns
"I forgof to say he also got rid of
his barn, fence and. bouse at the soma
"Do you know. Sue, you're the dear
est little mouse In the world!"
"Oh. don'tl I'm so afraid of mice."
An Apt Description.
"Why do -they call the camel ths
'ship of the desertr "
"Never could understand It myself
until I rode on one of 'em," said the
young man who had Just been abroad.
"Never was so seasick. In my life."
Comedian What la MacHam, the
tragedian, doing now?
Sweet Singer Why, hea a hotel
Comedian Ton don't mean to say
he waits around the stations to catch
strangers? ' -
Sweet Singer Ob. no. Be Just runs
from the hotels when his bill comes
. Called Down.
"Then you refuse me simply because
I am poor?" he bitterly cried.
"You flatter yourself," said the gen
tle maiden. Cleveland Plain Dealer,
Beelnntna; of the Beaaou.
First Summer Girl Isn't that young
man I saw you strolling on tbe beach
with this morning rather slow?
Second Summer Olrl The slowest
ever. Why, I've known him since noon
yesterday and be hasn't proposed yet
Asked and Answered.
Little Willie What Is flattery, pa?
Pa Flattery, my son. Is tbo prats
wo hear bestowed upon other people.
Molly You say you shook all over
when you proposed to her?
Cholly Yes. I did.
"And how about thg girj?"
"Ob, she only shook her head."
London Modern Society.
Harry I am going to ask old Cross
wood for his daughter's hand over ths
Tom Do you think you'll get it?
Harry Well, I am certain that I
won't get the old man's band.
Singer and Croakers.
The extent to which tbe agricultural
portions of tbo Middle West are now
supplied with modern conveniences
may be Inferred from the story which
follows: There came a ring at the
telephone In a farmhouse. In Northern
Indiana one day last summer, and the
farmer himself responded.
"Hellol" be said.
"Hello!" said the voice at tho other
end of tbe wire. "Can you furnish me
a bass singer for to-morrow night?"
"A bass singer? Why, yes, I reckon
so," answered the farmer, laughing.
"What do you want one for?"
"Because the one we've had up to
now Is sick. What would be your
"Well, I usually1, furnish 'em by ths
dozen, I wdn't charge anything for
one. How do you want him sent?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Who do you think you're talking
"Isn't this ths Indianapolis Opera
"No. This Is the Baratarla frog
The man who Is satisfied with Man
self doesn't want much.