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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (April 3, 1903)
Bohemia Nugget HowAnit jiiiowm, rub.. hcrltancc from Puritanism. TliAt (urn lly Is fortunate Indeed where tlic moth rr Is first to see n Joke and to lend tlio mirth. In too many homes her solo share In merriment Is her dismal ''I'm sure I don't see what you're laughing iiboutr; The mother, nn Itivnllil for vonra. wlin iiml.1 miawrr nil tnutllry If women nro more Irritable thnn . ntiont her hcnllh with n qulsalcnl smile COTTAGE GROVK . . OREGON. men, as alleged, the fact may bo due to the French heel. Now that n use has been found for the pituitary body thero Is renewed hopo for (ho vermiform appendix. And stlllj.thc dlsputo continues as to which shall bo considered the tin tlonal flower. We nominate the. lien The Sultan has his woes nfter all Nobody ever suggests him as on nrbl trator when the nations have quarrels to be settled. The American girl has been crowuM tho world's queen of beauty and by a woman. This should make her ex nlted position secure. It Venezuela would put a tax on the title of general, some headway might be made In the revenue problem confronting that country. Dispatches Indicate that people will learn that rifles. In the hands of small boys, are dangerous only after said small boys have punctured their rela tires. An Eastern contemporary remarks that all this "less" business began with tho "cbalnlcss bicycle. We may be In error, but It seems to us tho bottomless pit was mentioned earlier. They are gradually doing away with corporal punishment in our penal In stitutions. The Inmates of the Mis our! State prison are no longer com pelled to wear the shoes tbey make. Ambassador Herbert has Just been created a C. U. M. G. He was already a C. It., a K. M. U. It., a R U U. D. and a T. It. U. it. P. Some people think he Is In line to be made a I). U. U., but this Is probably a mistake. There Is no limit to Standard OH en terprise. Having cornered the outside of the earth. It Is now beaded Inside. Five millions Is what tho ropocatapetl sulphur cost Old theology taught that there was a place where It was given away. It Is not with the slightest Intention of being disrespectful that we seo the logic of fate In the fact that Dr. Gat ling died suddenly. Although Dr. Cat ling was a graduate In medicine his bid to fame rests on an Invention which reduced sudden death to a fine art. In existing conditions It Is much easier to set afloat enormous sea mon sters than It Is to obtain the necessary quotas of disciplined seamen for the naval service. When lutelllgent and spirited American youths see that there ts no prospect of promotion in the navy save for a select few they prefer the merchant marine. In which tbere Is no bar to their advancement. nud n nulck "Sick abed, and worse tip!" was not n burden but a Joy to the children who found her room "the Jol llest Place liiithc house." A nonsense rhyme, n droll conundrum, n lively repartee, a slory of misadventure, may nil serve as sauce for a dull day. The appetite for fun may be coaxed to grow by what It feeds on until the filature woman, laden with responsibilities, can smile at her own small trials and help others to follow her example. She will leant first not to cry over spilt milk, and later will master nn even more use ful accomplishment, and will laugh over It. . The Methodists propose to Issue a "secular" paper that will have no sporting newB. Presumably, and for the same broad and Intelligent reason, It will also be shy a dramatic depart ment Yet there are sports and sports there are plays and plays. Clean, wholesome, unmercenary sport, the sort that makes men and women with red blood and buoyant spirits. Is as es sential to our everyday life and to our well being as Is the gospel of or the pul pit. A secular newspaper without news of such sports and pastimes will leave something sadly 'wanting even to the majority of Methodists. Creed for gold Is a conspicuous evil of our time and country. We want money to burn; wealth to squander. It appears as If some men, and women as well, vie with each other In think ing out original and striking ways In which to make their wealth conspicu ous. Tbey Imagine that tbey thus aggrandize themselves. It Is some thing to be grateful for, that tbere Is a growing sentiment In favor of saner living. There Is a strong Influence at work for greater simplicity and more genuine lives. There Is gain in re spect for the "plainer living and higher thinking" manner of life Uy the tru est standards, parade of wealth Is deemed vulagr. To dress, to act, to order our households and our lives by how It look, by the opinions of others and to Cnake an Impression, betrays a shallow mind and a weak character. President Kllot has been telling the good people of Cincinnati that manual training In the schools Is worth nine tenths of the work that comes under the bead of arithmetic. This Harvard official rarely minces matters, and bis statement may seem to those who bold fond devotion to the three "It's" to bor der decidedly on the radical. Yet teach ers of manual training relate curious and Interesting experiences. They give as a common occurrence the stupid pu pil's marvelous development In all his studies the moment he llnds that he can use bis hands as well as other children who appear to be smarter than he with their beads. All of us can do what wo really believe we can do. Stupidity Is more often than not sensitiveness combined with lack of confidence. Itemove those two unhap py qualities and the fool Is replaced by the competent. A sense of humor Is more valuable for a busy woman than all the latest Inventions for making housekeeping easy. The patent dish-washer, tho self-feeding and self-shaking range, the washing machine, the bread-mixer and the egg-beater all put together will not help "mother" through Satur day morning so well as the ability to laugh long and heartily. Unfortunately there Is no school where this accom plishment can beJeamed. The giggling girl Is not sure to grow up a laughing woman. She may regard herself and her own affairs with a portentous seri ousness. Egotism Is fatal to a true sense of humor. So Is a lack of Imagina tion.' So Is thut morbid conscientious Bess, which Is our leaU desirable In- The Itcv. John W. Malcolm, of Cleve land, Is said to have collected an Irre sistible array of proof that Abraham I. tu coin never spilt rails. Pnrsou Weoms' good old slory of the boy Washington chopping his father's cher ry tree with his little hatchet and be ing unable to He about It Is also gener ally discredited In this day. And now Dj. Kdwnrd Everett Hale comes for ward with the positive assurance that Daniel Webster was not a drunkard that he knew hi in Intimately, saw hint thousands of times, rend thousands of his letters, ran In nnd out, of his house constantly, nnd never saw htm under the Influence o. liquor. And thus the good old superstitions perlshl We are not content to have great men; we must have them gods. We must re move from them nil trace of human nature. In Investing them with high qualities that command admiration we must divest them of all the little hu man weaknesses that make them one of ourselves. In the perfect embalm ing of a body It Is considered neces sary to remove the viscera nnd brain; and In popular estimation something of the same process must be gone through with to make a great hero. Klght and wrong are white nnd blnck, with no shades of gray between, nnd the popular fnvorlte Is preserved In cold, white marble, without blot or blemish to hint of human life. We piously close our eyes to the fnct that James Pnrton, the eminent biographer, alter gathering a vast amount of ma terial for a life of Washington, gave up the task on the ground that. If he wrote the whole truth, the American people would detest him for having de spoiled an Idol to restore a man. Abra ham Lincoln's rail-splitting and his coarse Jests marked real red blood In his veins, and brought him Into reach of men's sympathies. They marked him as mnde'bf common clay, like the rest of us. Hut the historical ghouls have stolen him fronv us nnd given us In his place a marble statue, without elns or viscera. And now we learn that Daniel Webster's one great fault had no existence. He, too, was of god like purity, and the touch of death has brought him Into his natural estate as a deity. As standi the nrramld. mrfrv Cleaving, wedge-like, the misty realms .or lime. And hides within its depths the unknown king 'Twos built to memqrlic; so common lams Covers with cloudy fiction all the real man And leaves a sbsdow to the worshipers. Editorials OPINIONS OF GREAT PAPERS ON IMPORTANT SUBJECTS HIQH ART IN DANK NOTC8 A! Work and Leisure. MAINK mntorman, having cmuo into a fortune o $00,000, nuitomiccs that lie will continue to work for the company that now emplojs him. Ills money nt ft per cent would give him leisure nnd nit Income six times ns great ns his wages, but work Is hi choice. The president of Harvard, who said In Boston the other day that n man should work as hard and na long ns his health permits, will be lutcrostett In this Maine mo torman, John C. Tripp. Hut the possession of wealth puts obligations on Trll'rt He must try to do more than to cant his week's wages. He must aspire to rise until, like Motormau Hoot, who wu running a. car seven years ago, ho tieoomcs general (nana ger of hit company. He must cultivate his mind as much ns he can, studying books and men ,nud politics, making himself every year n more useful inemlver of society. He must dross ns well as His purse permits, ana etlucnto his children, If ho lias them, nud give his fellow motormtti n helping hand nnd bo good to the poor. His fortune will make life tnorexomp'.ex for him, loading blin with new responsibilities. He will And enough to do to keep him busy It he does not seek to shirk his obligations. And a word about President Kllot a precept regarding hard work. It Is the salvation of man that ho Is obliged to labor. He Is happier than he would be under enforced Idleness, nud more useful to society nnd to himself. And to work n little harder than you have to that Is the"secrct of success! ,(vr Itelaxntlon In Its place Is equally beneficial. Tho liar rard president gets It when ho goes to n Boston symphoti) concert or makes nn after-dinner speech. Ho got It as a youth rowing n boat .with other undergraduates on tho CliarWs Hlver. If he bad spent that leisure or wero to spend It now In hnrd mental labor unremitted wo do not supiwse he would bo any greater man than he Is, any more than we cntt suppose a motorm.tn or a miner working bdurs overtime would be more serviceable to bis employer or better equipped for the next day s work. Tbere Is much to lie said to the contrary, and much to be said about that moderation which secures for the toller a proper relation between work nud leisure. New York World. s BUSY MEN SHORT OF FRESH AIR. Indoor 'Workers Find It Difficult to Renew Store of Oxygen. Men of affairs In New York find It as difficult to get fresh air as exercise. Some of them find time for an hour with an athletic trainer, but are too occupied to devote another hour to taking the air; that Is a. long process nowadays In this city. It perversely happens that the men who are ab sorbed by the large matters of llfo here are those who are most strenu ously urged by the physicians to take the air, says the New York Sun. Cer tain maladies to which they are espe cially subject are best treated by peri ods of time passed out of doors. Gout, for Instance, yields more promptly to such a course than to any other, nut It happens to be Just the thing that most busy men aro unable to do. One or two of the athletic trainers whose services are so much In de mand at high prices have all their cli ents work In what Is practlcaly the open, as the windows are unclosed nnd the patients protected from the cold by heavy clothing. Hut more usual Is the prescription of a doctor who has numbered many well-known men among bis patients. He told them to ride alwnys with tho windows of their cabs open, whatever the weather might be. Hy that means tho Journey to and from their offices could always be made a method of taking the air. And most of those who tried the pre scription were so convinced of Its value that they Btuck to It. William C. Whitney attributes bis general good health for years to his devotion to this 'habit, and be has cot been seen In a long time riding In a carriage with the windows closed, no matter how cold the weather. Ho Thought Too 51 u til. An Iudlun Bervaut never answers back when rebuked, but enters on u vigorous conversation with himself, In the course of which the faults of bis master are carefully rehearsed. In "Hehlnd the Uungalow" the uuthor de clares that the banial, or bouso servant, could bo endured If only he would not try to til Ink. It Is lit vain to Impress upon lilm that he Is engaged to obey orders, and thut his employer prefers to do the thinking himself. Now and then ho sets his Intellect In operation, and the consequences are ap palling. It was our hamal's duty to till the filter, and nt the time when the water was very bad orders were given that it should bo boiled before being ni ter ed, One day my wife saw the hiimal In the act of tilling the filter, and It oc- Learn to Forget Injures. OMR people nre so Intent on revenging their Injuries that they never have time to accomplish anything worth wlille for themselves, Front a purely selfish and practical standpoint, not to consider the moral aspect of the matter, revenge Is not worth the troublo thnt It takes to accomplish. A man had better employ blmsebT In honest, productive labor which will bring him some valuable returns Instead of giving himself up to, .potty schemes for "getting even" on bis enemies: ' Every man would do well to wipe out all those old scores of enmity which he had. Intended to pay back by evil retaliation, and start atresn to uo sometuing uouest ana positively bene- flcial for himself. After all. most of our enemies would tie our friends It we knew one another better. Few men nre wholly of ma Ilclously evil, nnd when one does another nn Injury there Is usually some misunderstanding at the bottom of It How often It happens that mutually hostile men, having' been thrown together by chance and become mutually acquaint ed, conceive a warm friendship for each other? This Is a busy world and life Is too sliort to remember grievances a long while or to take trouble for tho sake of obtaining revenge. A man must learn to forget Injuries as well as to remember favors, else he will go backward Instead of forwnrd In life. The past la dead. Lot It be. Think of the- future and endeavor to build tm your (mn fortune ana Iiappincrs Instead of tearing down tho fortune aim uujiiiiut-ss ui juur uueiiiy, who mny DO, ror an you lenon-, some decent fellow not nearly so black as you paint him. San Francisco Hulletlu. Vandalism at Niagara. LAMENTATIONS come from Niagara Kails over the Intrusion of iwwer-houses and Industrial Innovations upon the scenery. The American side has not been helped cshetical!y by the various means devised to make the river run In harness, but the reservation of the State of New York seems to have been reasonably well guarded. Victoria Park, on the Canadian side, lias not fared so well. Vociferous complaints ore made about tlic tunnel-builders nnd power oon.pnii os on that sine or tiio , H, ,mlk m)U, W1MMI(1 river. Several power-houses aro being built 11 Victoria (nm n , (l , Park Itself, and. worst of all. another Is building In he, pripuriitloit of wliMt many person, gorge at tho foot of the Horseshoe l ulls. I ho Canadian ,kH lmr, ,f wM1 m)k (l ( DeelK'iere' Chief Concern Is to Halk a ths li.itenlotia Counterfeiter, First In consideration In making it bank potu Is to prevent others from milking n counterfeit of It, Therefore, all tho notes of it curtain denomination or value must bo exact duplicates of one; nuotlier. If they were engraved by linild this would not bo the case, Hand rugrnvlng Is more easily counterfeit ed Hum the work done by Ihu process ni'liiiillv tiM.,,1 alarming concessions of tho Canadian coininlssionera to m..Un.y ml,h (,(,k,n, ,)f me tho rsous commission has shown Itself so Indulgent to Industrial grecntuiek von will am n 1,1, ..,-. in 11.,, companies that confidence In It Is violently shaken. Thn nntvr, n small portrait, called the vlg- New York commissioners hnvo made a protest ngatuat Its MXtft oll t)l0 1(lft n1 lM (l)ch uf l0 concessions, and the feeling la thnt, bad as Is what hns n)Ul,r eomers a network of lino lines been doue. there la ouly too much reason to fear that worse Wm dark ground, onu containing tho remains behind. Another ominous enterprise Is going on tuttcr V nud tho other tho figure it, nt Niagara. An American company ts using electricity to make a vignette It Is first neees- extract nitrogen products front air. Mr. Wells write a cary to mnko n largo drawing- on pa- prophetic slory that turned on the discovery of n process lMr with grcnt care, nud n diiguorr.Hi- for getting nitrogen out of tho air nnd turning It Into type Is then given to tho engraver, food. The upshot of th tnln was that tho atmosphere who usea n steel point to tniiko 011 It was deprived of so much nitrogen that tho resulting excess all thu outlines of tho picture. Tho of hydrogen made every one tipsy, nnd thing went from pinto li Inked nud n print Is taken bad to worse, until finally tho atmosphere took lire. It from It. any such process as that has begun at Niagara tho police "While the Ink la still damp tho print should bo notified. Y hatovor needs to be done to restrain Is laid face down on 11 steel plnle, Do you mlml the cabin of Ion llsii Holt, tho liberality of tho Victoria Park commission must bo done which hns been softened by heating It , At the edge of tho pathless wood, by tho people or Govoruinent of Canada. All wo can do red hot nnd letting It cool slowly. It And thu button ball trta with Its niollry la to spread the talo of vandalism nnd stlr'rttuoustrnuce. Is thru put In n press nnd nn exact I limbs, Harper's Weekly. copy of tho outline Is thus tuado on Which nigh (0 tha doorstep stood T 'the steel pinto. This the engraver fin. " " "j" "l"' I. . ... . . Till tfitM Villi MrtmM Aak fnP 111 vahi Tho Mctrlc.Sv.tem. . . ''L TV'1'!"' r "! , , 1" '" ths. lotl. of lu. fori.t unvrd Ars irraaa and irolilan train. euge. 1 "Now, this plate Is used for mnk- Ing other plates It Is never used to TAVORITES f : Han Halt. Don't you remtmbar snrtt Alice, Hsu Holt Hiveet Alice, whom hair was so.brown, Who wept with delight when you ia her a amlle. And trembled with fear at your frown T In the old churchyard In the valley, Uen Holt, In a comer obicure and alone, They liars fitted a stab of xranlla so gray, And Alien Ilea under lbs atone. Under the hickory tree, lien Holt, WHICH stood at the foot of the hill, Together- we've lain In the noonday aliiule, And llatriivd to Appleton's mill. The mill wheel hsi fallen to pltete, Hen Holt, Tho rnflere have tumbled In, And a quiet which crawla ruiliid the walla aa you gale Has followed the olden din. T 1113 action of tho International customs congress, . m ..V 1 which has recently 'Been In session In New York, lu llno w"l,oul ,MV,,, ft rol,1' voting unanimously In favor of ths adoption of tha metric system of weights and measures. Is another And don't yuu remember the school, Ilea I loll, Indication of tho growing popularity of thnt system. ?., ' ., with 11.. .....trr . rru.l and crlm. It has spread so rapidly that the European states, with ..,, , ' . . ,.," ' And the ahady nook In the running brooh tho exception of England nnd ItUMht, hnvo adopted It, as .., ' ,, ' . Where tho children went to ewliul have the tha South American states and Moxlco, aud eveu Turkey and Egypt. ..... v ,k . e.y. a iime roner 0tut oll ,,,, ,,., gr,, ,, ve. nwticiitu nnvi m lill'll lUlll-ll W1U III IjOlt by n powerful machine until Us sur- The ai.rl'ug of the brook la dry, were eclioul- Both In England nnd Itussla tho sentiment ts growing r' ,,' ' ,"""111 . tt tt. V n.r.. ' 1 V","1 ... 1 . T 1 , rnoo ims btt'ii forcinl Into nil the Ihu A..J of all tn Uii who w steadily In favor of the change. There nro member. cut ,, ,, T f . , of the present House of Commons In England In favor of v,snc nro ,mil,fomM, , ,J There sr. only you and I. me uieii.e pjnii'iu, n..u .uu . icimci, .u ei'vuK.iig uu lue roller In raised lines nud nfter the' " subject, said: "Thero can bo no doubt whatever that tha rn.,P u i,ni,wi 1, ' 1 ,1 There Js a rhsnze In ths things I loved, Judgment of 'tho whole clvlllxed world, not excluding the 0V(.r 0f softened iteol nnd thus I .,. ,lu."' ., ,..,, counme.wu.ei. si... ...lurre IO ...o nnuquaiiM syaioi. a n.ako III them sunken lines exactly like "-"..... - under which we suffer, has long decided that ths metric .. i ,., .i ,, ' , I .. . . ... . ... valnm la Ihn nnt mll.innl v.l..m " 1 . .. ............. I eel 111 Hid ueepa 01 Uly epiril me system Is tbo only rational system. "Tin., center picture Is engraved and truth, Opinion lu the United States i Is divided on the subject transferred to a roller, like tho vlg I There never wa. change In you. but the people of this couutry will hnvo to consider wholhoi ,.,,,, ilt , ,.twork , p.)0r Twelve mouths twenty have paaaed. Hen they want to be out of harmony with all other nations on comers and nlso on the back of thol "lt. tins continent ami in i-.uropo on tins suoject. it certainly otu i, lm,,, j,y n,,, nt,o. -phis ma-1 mnc nr" w wer rnoiuie yet i nan will not be advantageous to our foreign trade. jchlnu costs J.l.lXW- a price that puts 1""r l're"e Messing, your friend- A recent consular report from Mr. Mason, In Berlin, 'it i.,mi.l tho 'renel. nt n.iini.rr.ii.N I .. '''l.' '"'' . deals particularly with this phase of the case. (lernlany , ,VOrk Is so perfect that It .-aiin.il '-Thou a. lluw VEn.ll.h" mado tho change In 1872 without difficulty, and Consul bo lmltnt.il by hand. The lathe en-i ign'a- Mason says that public opinion there Is unanimously of tin graves the network on softened steel The llolr City. opinion that great advantage has been derived from the and tho Hiiiire lu tho middle of It la I.aat night I lay a sleeping there came change. Inquiry among Importers led tho consul to believe then ' engraved by hand. It la now I " dream ao fair, that our trade was Injured by the uso of the awkward hardened and transferred to n roller 1 ,,,M"1 '" J'UM,m beal.to the tern- system nt present employed In the United Stntes. rtil a- Ilk., n.e nthem. . Y". delphla Press. "The plates from which tho notes I heard the children ahiglug, and ever aa they aalig, ro to bo printed are of softened si eel Methought the voice of sngela i "in. .... iw 1-iiwirii iu iiriui luur nuies m Heaven in answer rang. ABSENT-MINDED VICTIMS. Ludicrous Talee Toll of Their traordtnarj Performances. A peculiar trait of humanity Is what Is called absent-mindedness, and many are the amusing stories told of thoso suffering from this species of mental aberration. A Cambridge professor, whose fits of mental aberration were as frequent as they were amusing, was one day out lu a heavy rain, with his umbrella held high over his head, when be met n friend, who stopped him nud ex claimed: "Denr me, Prof. M , why don't you put up your umbrella? You'll be dnenchcdl" "Put up my umbrella?" said the pro fessor. "It Is up." For half an hour, more or less, the "Ah, the very thing, the very thing! Thank you, Thomas. Good night!" A clergyman, walking one day In tho country, fell Into thought. He was so accustomed to ride that, when ho found himself at a toll, he stopped and shouted to the man: "Here, what's to pay!" "Pay for wliat?" asked 'the man. "For my horse," snld the clergyman. Shall Clergymen Work as Mechanics? W nrfimlnatit tliltnitiltililn itlitpirvmuit ir,..ta ...,.. ....it. VIHO. M who contemplate entering the m.n.try to learn some VlX rZXX ' Ho..,. nl'lu't''hlghe.,. II I I trade either before or aftsr ordination. Ho Is moved "'" " o" "' imnieiirti 1 V to give this advice by the large number of mints- V " l" . .... . -i . - tures over It In the r niinronr Into ii-ni nuu uni miuuui n cunrgc. as tne liumucr or , .,, :, T. . ministers without charges ts Increasing rather thnn dlinlu- P,?e,7. M""1. tl,u nro P"-"""' lshlng. the most effective way to comply with tho law of , " "., " T " , , , ., , ....n,t .n.i .iinni- n.,i,t i. i ,..: n.- t.1 t "no lettering around the bor .i.1.1 h.nflv l.nmuin nM,Ur,l... .!, .!,. . .1.- "-' l.linrreil 111 HUT . ,,... , . . put on by hand. This process saves 1 great deal of time and It secures nb oluto uniformity In the four engrav ings on the plate. "The bnck parts of tho note nro arshlp was more urgently required In the pulpit than at ' V. " .. . .( I'.r'formlriv""5 u:i r:rurrr, r,iu!7 ! t, ; z. ''!.a.f0.u.'y" b.Ut w ..,,,el" " "u,ol.OK fal 'lele with , ,s ,,, (tIll,, ,', ,,, ,,or .Z , , " '"" '" greater security one part of 'the note the nineteenth century do not hjsscss the force of dlvlne'r. i ,. ,i,.Li authority they furnlsbarguments with which the skeptical ,,, nllolller ' . ',., ,,,.. laymnn may confuse the minister who has not had time to ,vh,.,. ,. . , w..i,i. . i,. tudy both aides of the theological questlon.-Ban Francisco n..i.ht -i.t nullctln. .,.., .' ..... .,, ,u. ...it, iii--iiimn iv piij, niivi nu una rnro and all these safeguards many skillfully executed counterfeits have been mado nud Issued, somo of them to good ns to deceive expert Judges of money." Now York Herald: from proposed, there would bo either wor clergymen or jioor mechanics. Tho ministry Is nn exacting profession, nnd lu the present strife for mastery lu mechanics the Inferior Is left behind. If It should appear that that Inferior was also a clergyman his value as a mechanic would not bo enhanced. Thero has never been a tlmo when high schol Four engravings of tho notu Jerusalem, Jerusalem, lift up your galea osanua to your Mug. Aud then mctho't my dream waa chang ed, the atrrrta nn longer rang, Hiish'd were the glad lloaannaa, the lit tle children aang. The aim grew -dark with mystery, the morn was cold and chill, Aa the ahaduw of a cruea aruee upon a lonely hill. Jerusalem, Jerusalem, Hark! how the nngela alllg, Hoaalina ill Ihu blgbrat, Huaanns to your king. work nnd other responsible duties off his father's shoulders. At the time of his father's death George Gould was his chief adviser nnd was practically at tho head of tho railroad end of the business, for which he has always shown a preference. He was able to take full charge of the business In 1802, nud tho various enterprises have prospered Immensely What horse? '.I --re's no horse, sir." I ),fu ,niii7Bin.nt Thn Minnri "Illess mo!" extHlnud the clergy ,.ncc ,, MuiTCli interests hnvo runn looking down, between his legs, 1)ocn ),, c)eun cnrC( ml(l uuti ttl0 I thought I wns on horseback!" rot.cnt ,rani)ft.r of Manhattan Elevated One of the finest InHlnuces of nbs.ncoj lMtm.stH (o AugU9t IIemont wau of mind on record Is that furnished by , nr,.ui,,t , ..,,Mn n certain Oxford don, whose "scholnr- .- ni.in i. ,.uii,,,nt,i ly abstraction" frequently landed h'm In difficulties Dining our one night, he suddenly became Immersed In thought, and for a time sat gazing nt professor had been walking tho streets ( his plate, evidently deeply engrossed In witn a ciosca umureua neiu uuovo uis ouio uukui inumeiu. to be worth about 10,000,000. All four of the Gould boys are mem bers of the Stock Exchange, Gcorgo having entered It In 1H0U. Ho Is, bow ever, rarely. If ever, seen on thu floor FORMER NEW YORK QlflL, Now One of the Stoat Hucceaaftit ICnter tslnere In fin.lon Hocletjr. Ouo of the most popular American women In Iondon society Is the young Countess Dunoiighmore, formerly of New lork, Sho Is tho daughter of Mi chael Grace, broth er of William It. Grace, former May And unco again the scene waa chang'd, new earth there avam'd to be, I taw the Holy City bvslJe thn tldeleta aval The light of God wsa on Ita atreeta, the galea were opened wide, And all who would might enter, no one waa denied. No need of moon or stare by night, nor, aim to shine by day. It waa the new Jerusalem that would nut pais away, Jerusalem, Jerusalem, slug for the night la o'er, Ilosamia hi the highest, Hoaauiia fur- evermore. I'. E. Wentlurly. head. At another tlmo the same scholar was riding downtown In an electric car, and lost himself In a book be was reading. Suddenly he'rnotlced symp toms of merlrment among the othor passengers. What could they be laugh ing at? The mystery was explained when be discovered that, having been annoyed by something between the plate of bis artificial teeth and the roof of bis mouth, he bad removed tho teeth and Now, It happened thnt his left-hand 1 nelghlxir, a portly dame, bud n habit of I How It Is Sometimes Done, Good Journalism .Is so valuable that wns holding them up to view between 'i'o the river by tbo upsetting of a Doat at lingicy, lie sanx twice uororo he recollected that be could swim." resting her Jiands on the table, palm It Is u pity tbcro should bo so much down and fingers closed. bad Journalism. Yet wo havo all learn Suddenly the professor nwoke from edmt to, trust, absolutely to the dally his brown stuuy, seized ins fork, stuck press, and wo nevor can trust It abso. It Into the plump paw reposing to tho , Intely so long as such a story Is possl lcft of his plate, nnd. beaming genially bio as this, which Is vouched for by through his glasses, remarked, "My ' the Ixuidon Globo: bread, I think!" I A British Journalist or good rcputa- The flrst Lord Lyttleton, an English tlon wns called on suddenly to write nobleman, was very absent-minded. It 'an obituary notice of tho lato Bret Is declared of mm that, when lie fell , Unrte. Ho sat down full of enthii. the thumb and linger of bis hand! Still more embarrassing waa tho case of a lady who hurried Into church one Suuduy morning without her bonnet. and when reminded of the omission by her husband, who had preceded ber by Bevernl minutes, rose hastily and hurried up tho broad aisle with a large red parasol raised and held closo to ber head I A certain old man suffered much from absent-mindedness, and was fre quently compelled to seek the assist ance of his servant Thomas," he would say, "I havo Just been looking for something, and now I can't remember what It )g," whereupon 'the obliging Thomas In variably made suggestions. "Wns IVyour purse, or spectacles, or checkbook, sir?" and so on, bo would Inquire, until ho hit ufkm the right object. One night, after the old man bad re tired, ths bell rang for Thomas, and on reaching thu bedroom be found his eurreu . u . .' , " master rambling aimlessly about tbo water cool first, lest he crack the niter, 1 .., "Oh, yes," said he, "I thought of thut. I ,r,,. r,., , M , After boiling the water, I cpol II t "own" heQ fJ gomctll,ng Bnd 'now j.yo lin,f, C?V1 qU?"t .'..IL0 i forgotten what." uuu ,ul " "Wns It to aa to bed. sir?" suffironted tho fulthful retainer. fllter." FOLLOW8 FATHER'S FOOT8TEP8. Oeoige Gould's Ability Hhown In Stan- slnMho Vast Eatale. But two of the late Jay Gould's four sons were In business when bo died In 1802. They were tho two elder sous, George J. nud" Edwin, says tho Kansas City Journal. Gcorgo Gould took to business early. Despite his father's entreaties, ho Would not take a collego course, pre ferring to go Into a nofflce. His fa thor, therefore, secured for hlin n Junior partnership In the brokerage Arm of Conn6r & Co., nt tho bend of which was Jay Gould's old broker and Intimate friend, Washington Connor, , George's extreme economics, It Is said, led to disagreements, and tbo partnership -was dissolved. The young man bad been apt and industrious, however, and so his futher took him Into his own office and gave lilm an opportunity to become familiar with the details of tbo great business. George was a studious young man and stuck closely to business. He rap Idly mastered the details of depart ments, and soon was taking Inspection slasm for his subject, nnd with what seemed to htm pretty complete knowl edge, nnd wrote n glowing article. Hn sent It to tho printer. When It camo bnck In proof ho was appalled to see that he had written a column and a half about Mark Twain. Time pressed. Thero were only n few minutes to get his arttclo Into the pa per. So ho simply changed tho book titles and let It go. Disappointed, Tho slory Is told of a Scotchman, ono of several brothers, whoso father, it wealthy man, had died. There was much quarreling about the property, A friend condoled with them on tho bereavement. "Well," said he, "our father's death might have- been a real pleasure to us; Instead of that It Is only a misery." Just Ono Per Cent Better. Wnggsby So De Wruyter says ho wroto Jilnety-iilue poems last year, does bo? Naggsby I understood him to say "better than a hundred." Waggsby That's what I meant by ninety-nine. I'vo read bis poems. Jlal tluioro American, ill Itoturnnd to IlooeL. One of tho theories of James It. Reynolds, the head of lbs University Settlement Socloty In Now York, uud now Mayor Low's private secretary, Is that much of tho drunkenness on the part of poor and Ignorant, men ts caus ed by tho fact that their equally poor nud Ignorant wives do uot know how to cook nourishing food properly, and or of the new world thnt, exhausted by manual labor and metropolis. Miss Insufficiently nourished, their systems Grnco tens ono of naturally crave stimulants. One day the belles of New Ibis theory caino homo to roost. The York and was noted husband of nu Irishwoman had beatvu for her beauty, wit unmercifully, says tbo New York and charms. She Is correspondent of tho Itochestcr Demo- not unmindful, even "at nnd Chronicle, and had been lock. DonouauuonR. nul,j tuu Kny BCt,M ed up for It. 3'ho morning after tha of foreign Boclety, of her old home, and w'f npproachod Mr. Itoynolda. frequently visits Nov York. Her bus- "Oh, sir," sho said, In grent distress, band la very wealthy, having mndo "coins nnd help mo go my Michael ninny millions In successful speculation out- fiurt, 1 locked up last In South America. When In Ixuidon "M't for bentln' me; but for tho lovs they cntertnln lavishly and the coun- f benven conio and help mo get him less Is regarded as one of the most sue- utl" cessful hostesses In tho Engllslf capital. 1 ,,t,r fnco wn badly banged up, ber head was bandaged, and sbo walked SkatliiK a Very Old Art. ' with n limp. To whut race belongs tho credit of "Hut you don't want to got him out," having flrst Invented skating Is still a said tho settlement worker. "He's nl problem over which men of science most killed you. Leave him In. It nro disputing. There Is much doubt will do lilm good. I'll seo that you among historians upon the subject, for don't surfer for lack of his wages while traces have been found among pre- he's In prison." historic remains nil over Northern Eu- "Oh, no," she snld, "'twas all my ropu Indicating that tho nrt was prac- fault, You told tuo It was bad inoklu' (Iced by primitive peoples. Tho Eskl- drove 'em to tbo rum shops, nnd fulth, uios of tho furthest North nro nlso 1 cooked the prnttos In tho snmo old found to be In possession of runners wny. Of courso ho got drunk, 'Twus carved from whalebone. Skating Is my own fault. I didn't cook 'em In mentioned by a Danish historian about tho wny I was told nt thu settlement, 11111, nud Fltzstcpheu lu his "History nnd of courso ho got drunk," of London" suys that lu tho twelfth 1 . century young men fastened leg bones 1 What II.I Hlio Sloan? of unlmnls under their feet by menus Tllt'Jr wero at HlIIler. Botwccn tho of thongs In order to slide along tho l'ou','"! t,lu young man with tho vorn Ice. This stutement Is confirmed by tlou" "l'1'Ptlto discoursed eloquently mo pair or none smites or thut nerlod " """a" " now lu tho British Museum. It Is llko-1 l'" 'you k"()W mm ." 's ro ly. however, thnt thoso early London- "'ll"'1. "' tlllk iha" very lull- era borrowed tho Ideu from Holland, "m, rt'",1,on between our food and probably via Lincolnshire, where ollr culirni:t!r. I bellovo, don't you skates havo been used on tho frozen k,luW "iat wo ?row llko what wo are . ... i, I llu. tunnt fnn.t if." If you can't work villi a ltttlo nolss going on, you cuu't work at nil. fens from very remote times. Not a Dellnllo Itoply. Deacon Johusou What yo' doln' now, Abo? Abo Ilnrdcaio Clcanli out a bank. Deacon Johnson Presmcnt, cashier, bookkeeper or Janitor? Leslie's Weekly. tho most fond of," Thu fair girl smllod sweetly, "How Interesting!" thu murmured. "May I pass you tho lilim, Mr. Jones? I ii tit sure you will llko It." And tho young man relapsed Into deep thought London Answers. u trying to innku friends rapidly, you m- upt to nmky enemies.