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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (March 13, 1903)
fs ' her oM tftt Perlm? I'. I (ji ill 1l. from the submarine-boat scandal. wt anient uilaat : aide tr tii il .leal of money, iDdcliu Tlio Herman Empress I now Imvl'n; her dresses made In furls. This looks ,s r . ed 'i., It jU" . ,r r. urn-jn-"'''''-. ai-v in the fTOMit. So. !' iislac twdi'poy, iw(i-J 'i, "Sl"' rrr""rn UP011 KwlV J? "food form." IVbahly t. t SlSaa? 'SCVfffeMftttt Bfhw T 11,1 I. aff ttl a,n. ... I : kit ironmTWn o to do In nw I t,wtt .U'r"iimtr afte o"l ty ihii hh-i-,1, from JM r".liioi ,it hi r -pT.I the prist. Hut although thnt rule of run duct, not to lie Idle nntl not to gossip. may cento to lie Rood form, It will never bo anything but pood seme. Ilka mam bad slop nt tba "Mnde-ln-Uer- tng. iMgniti oiiinn with n-new dress thnt Is lug Isn't satisfied until the man nhrlTUeg beet or tho woman sho likes least Ims seen It. I.ovo potions have figured In a New York divorce case. livery now and then the dark ages show signs of lin gering nnlinnllon. Homebody 1ms been forging J. I'ler pout Morgan's mimo to checks and get ting money on tlio.li. This Is not only criminal but sacrilegious. The worst thing that Dr. Eliot and Dr. Shntdy have done Is to let loose a horde of Irresponsible, meddlesome and highly Imaginative statisticians. Over In Itussln a largo number of writers have demanded the abolition of the press censor. Let us hope they hnVo their furs ready for the trip to Siberia. The Minnesota physicians hold that those with weak hearts should be re strained from kissing. The Inhibition should also Include thoso with strong breaths. When little Prince George of Wales was baptized the other day he yelled like a young wild cat and seemed to be half em red to death. Itoynlty has to grow on a person, like whiskers. There Is talk In France of reviving the Dreyfus ease with a view to fully rehabilitating the former prisoner of Devil's Island. Evidently the French military authorities deal out Justice on the Installment plan. "Hnvo the courage of your Ignorance and never be ashamed to say that you don't know," Is the motto of a man who Is continually learning. Indeed, the first step toward knowledge Is to be conscious of Ignorance. Isn't this "young man's age" busi ness being a bit overdone? You can't pick up a newspaper thnt doesn't con tain some allusion to the achievements of the modern youth, while Itoosevclt and Emperor William havo furnished enough Inspiration for young-man ed itorials to float a battleship. We have forgotten history. Kvery ago since the dawn of civilization has been the young man's age. It was so In the be ginning, and It will nlwnys bo so. It Is the part of youth to do thing: Over a century ngo Charles James Fox. nt , 'JO. was Lord of the Kngllsh Admiral-, ty. He was dissolute and tricky, but keen and able. Ills rival, William Pitt, mnnnged the office of Chancellor of the Exchequer at 23 and wns a Pre mier of Knglnnd nt St. Prince Ed ward, nt the nge of 10. fought nt the battlo of Crecy, In 1310, nnd led the hugllsh army to great victory at -J. At 10 Moznrt was director of the Arch bishop of Salzburg's orchestra. He member that, you who marvel at tho youth of Hoffman and Kubellk. Da vid, the shepherd boy. was a king at IS, and James Watt made possible the steam engine while a boy. Itafncl hnd finished his masterpiece at 33 and Cor tex was master of Mexico at 3a Pat rick Henry was n leader at 20, and Schubert, he of the beautiful melodies, wns in nis grave at 31. Napoleon, a self-made man, swept the Austrlans rrom Italy before he was 29. He had his foot on Europe's neck while he was still a young man. Alexander con quered Persia at 23, and Keats, the hostler's son, was singing sweet songs at 20. Hums had done his work at 3i and Byron died at the age of 3a There Isn t nny end to the list It should encourage the young ninn of to day. Fame and greatness have been for those who would win thon In all times, lo-uay there are more opportu- W 1 tit Kr. Or. lmn Jfifioff. Wo still hear tho question, "Shall la bor bo organised?" It must be. Mod em conditions cannot exist without such organisation. 1 do not know whether there was a giirdm of Ud.n, tint I do know that to go back to Adam would lie going backward, not forward. The real question before- us to day Is. "Shall labor Im autocratically or demo crntlcnlly organized? Shall thousands of wdrkmcn take what the muster pro scribes and not have a voice In the do- mi. abiiott. clslon as to the hours of Inlnir, the wnges and its conditions? Has not labor a head and aims and legs? When n labor union demnnds recognition. It may desire n brief display of authority, but at bottom Is Us declaration of a right to speak In Its own behalf. I believe that the demand of labor Is right. Labor organisations must be democratic, not autocratic. The object of the great labor organizations Is to say Itself what shall be Its hours of labor, the condition nnd the wnges. The phuioiurn n of trades unions Is not to bo measured by an unreasonable demand of one of them. There are dangers In great combinations of wealth, nnd I there are dangers In great combinations of Inlwr. What we want Is to get rid of the abuse of power and tho Incoui pctcnt use of power when It gets Into the hand of the demagogue. Ilecause there are bosses nnd'demngogues In politics we do not-propose to abolish p.-illtlcnl organizations. uui ratner to rid them of bosses nnd demagogues. STATE AID r03 C0NSUMPIIU5. B) Dr. Blct', Bscft-roJojIif. of ,Vw York I have nlwnys felt that much harm has been done by calling tuberculosis a contagious disease. It causes confusion In the lay mind, because tho popular conception of n contagious disease Is connected with such disease ns scarlet fever nnd small-pox. In which very limited contact mny result In Infection. Too much emphasis cannot be placed upon the fact that consumptives nre a source of danger chiefly through the sputum, nnd If this were destroyed the most intimate contact with tu bercular patients Is free from danger. The frequent occurrence of several cases of pulmonary tuberculosis lu a family Is to be explained not on the sup position that the disease Itself has been Inherited, ns this Is of exceedingly rare occurrence, but thnt It has been pro duced after birth by direct transmission from some affected Individual The house which has lioen occupied by con sumptives may have been Infected, and If parents are af fected their relations with their children are favorable for the transmission by direct contact. It may be safely cstlm.-ittd that there arc at present In It Is much easier to "say kind things" than to come out boldly on questions which concern the public weal. Say ing "kind things" Is well enough, but there nre occasions when the mealy mouthed person becomes tiresome to everybody. New York City 30.000 cases of tuberculosis In a stnee of nltles than at nny time In the world's tlie disease In which It could be easily vanquished by n history. We haven't so many groat I competent physician. The State Is annually spending many minions ror tne care or the Insane, and while this Is abso lutely necessary for humanitarian reasons I have no hesi tation In saying that far greater returns would bo obtained from the expenditure of one-fourth tho nmount on the pro-, ventlon and cure of tuberculosis. I have no doubt that measures first begun In a smnll way In this city fifteen years ago have resulted In saving the lives of 20,000 or 30.000 Inhabitants. wnrrlors. but our Napoleons are great In the fields of Industry and the arts of peace, and none the less truly grsat If history shall have no page for them and coming generations forget their names. THEY DETECTED THE ODOR. PniNCE HENRVB "CONFESSION." Lovsly Notilonoiimii, Minlim fur Coniiillliifilt, Ultimata lllin, A story Is liuw going tliu rounds of tho Loudon clubs concerning Prince Henry of Prussia, who, rumor says, will before long pay niiother visit to tho United States. A fuw weeks ago his royal highness paid quite an tiuolllclal visit to Eug- persist In attention to nny womnn who gives him plnluli 'urn', and during his slay In Loudon to uuiieratnnil that such attentions nra distasteful. Com- wnl BH'"t of a certain very weal- ninn sense ns well ns courtoiy forbids II. It Is only In ,,ml deservedly popular American uool that men Insist upon marrying wives who manifest "'"Hui'nlro. At dinner lino exeiilng open dislike for them, and who freely nvow their nverslou l'r',,i;o Henry happened to sit next lo upon the housetopi. ( marvvlously beautiful but extremely A ilover woiuhii, not Inordinately vnln, as even clever l,IK'olll,J Ugllh woiniin, who used women sometimes nio, can almost Invariably distinguish '"'r "liWi'oi!sly winning ways" between lucre admiration and the wnrmer feeling which Is ,u "'"I captivate tho popular i ne nmor love. .Moreover, admiration frequently blos- """" l'""cc. l,,t.. I...... i it i.. ...... . ... . . I "Oli ti.xp ., -.....- ,,,,,, i-,wii,y nullum.! nn.i ivi... . ....i.i vated. The woman who ihmkcssc the sixth sense, which men name tact, will know by Intuition Jmt how and when to encourage a dllildent admirer; how and whore to allow a timid suitor to perceive thnt she prefers his intentions to those of other men, without ndverllslng thnt preference to outsiders or dlsgustlne her suitor tit- llltl linl.ttlnad 1 Pleasure tliirliiir uuir v u i., ihiy I country? I'm simply longing to have I your 'confession' on tbla imini " "r rlon r. Mobrt Prince Henry, who was genuinely It Is nn Indlapntable fnct that the girl who bored by tho "beautyV slllv "iruali.'1 grows up with plenty of brothers has n great looked nround his host's lioipltalile tu- i AMU tour rovnl lil.-l . " remarked tho society beauty, "I'm ho glad you like dear old England mid ii... i.'....u..t ... me uiikiimi people, now, will your "I should think It didn't giro you a ntl" Hhn (gushingly) Song flows ns natu rally from her ns from n llllle'lilidle. Ho (grullly) A parrot, perhaps! "Oli, dour, I hale to spend so much money for clothes, and have them turn out all wrongl It Just gives mo tit." "Ilrtdget. what did you say (o Mis Smith when sho railed?" "I (old her you were out this tolinu for sure, lun'ain." "Tlu'io's one good thing about a mo. ADVANTAGE OT HAVING I1II0IIIERS. hie and then, with apparent deep earn estness, replied: "You ask me, Udy , what has Impressed me most forc ibly during my short Unit to your couutry. Well, I'll tell you jou shall havo my 'confession.' " Tho blushing Lady , naturally expecting some sweet compliment, list ened eagerly. "I havo been fascinated with many things since I havo been In England," continued the prince, dreamily looking advantage in knowing nnd iiuderstnudlng men when she arrives nt jenrs of discretion. What Is more liuihirtnnt, such n girl Is much more com pnnlonable to n man. If young men exercise any thought when choosing their sweethearts they cannot do better than select n girl with brothers. The girl who has lacked brothers 111 her enrlv Ufa does not get used to that uutrnmmeled nttltudo toward men which Is n second nature with tho girls who are bnrught up In n houseful of boys. Indeed, tomboylsm In a youug girl Is perhaps the best education which sho can hnve In tho days of her girlhood. There Is n give ami-take nttltudo In tho ctrl who tins down at his plate, "hut what has given brothers, something moro than n posslblo feeling of com- 1,u greater pleasure than anything else rndeshlp, nnd the eertnln knowledge that, because a man ' what has fascinated me most -has1 pays her some attention. It does not follow that he means been I think -jour glorious roast marriage, or has "serious Intentions," to use the words beef!" which old-fashioned mothers apply under such conditions. I "t,l! your royal highness!" almost The girl, on tho other hand, who has not had brothers, "lirleked the shocked and bitterly ills translates nny civility ns having an ulterior motive, cspe-1 Appointed l,ndy nt such a pro- nnix. willl-nniUII. Wlir IXKini IM'I'Ii ' Hut surely something else besides our roast beef has Impressed you sonic j thing else, surely?" "Yes, ljuly ," tenderly replhil 'Prince lleury, nccordlng to the New I York Tribune, "yes, Indeed. 1 think, next to your English roast beef, I li.ivo clnlly If she Is not quite so young ns she used to be, nnd hopes to be married, for we know how often the wish is fnther to tho thought. Then, anxious thnt the man should not see that she tins any such Idea, she at once endeavor to hide her thought. To do this, she adopts an unnatural attitude, and, so far from concealing her Idea, sho slmwi her hand. The girl who Is brought un with nlentv of brothers, sotun older nnd some younger than herself, will hnvo a chnnce to '"'en """t Impressed by jour English correct the defects of her education. If she has nnv senan . boiled beef. she will learn to avoid these faults. Sho will Insensibly ac quire a pleasant, companionable manner with men, and sho will know that they do not like stiff, self-conscious young women. W'heu n man who ruined himself ly being a "good fellow" runs away and then comes back to pay his debts he gets a column on the first page; but the thousands of other men who are such good fellows that they pay right along have to wait to get an agate notice In the obituary column. Max Nor da u Inclines to the belief that the American people are degen erates. What makes his opinion the moro interesting Is the fact that he has gracefully narrowed this thing down until he now holds that he Is about the only fellow In the vineyard who Is not a degenerate, whereat the rest of tho world seems somewhat reassured. There Is a great tendency In the present time towards eager pursuit of luxurious living. Every man seems straining every nerve to outdo some one clso In showy appearance. He builds his house, not for comfort nnd convenience, but to have It cost more and make more Imposing appearance than his neighbor. Dress, furnishing, equipages, style of living or giving of entertainments are all based upon how they will strike other people rather than what will gratify one's own per sonal tastes. If wo would have a more real foundation to our prosperity as a nation we need to seek greater sim plicity In our lives. When you go to Europe you mny now travel by rail from the head of tho Gulf of Uothnla to the Atlantic, as the road connecting the Iron mines of Sweden with Victoria Haven, one of Norway's "open ports on the ocean, has been completed. For two hundred' uud th'rty miles, or nearly Its whole length, the road lies north of the Arctic circle, it uas a station on that Imag inary Hue, nnd as the trains approach It tho brakeman calls out: "Next stop Is Polar Circle!" and the passengers alight nnd telegraph to their friends from this Interesting spot. The road would not hnvo been extended but for tho fact that the Gulf of Bothnia freezes over In the winter, making It Impossible to ship ore for more than four or Uvo months each year. Now Germany and England can get Swed ish ore every month. Bottle Contained Nothing flut Distilled n alert imagination Did the Best, 4u ungui puling men anxenaeu a lecture In the city a few days past, the lecturer's subjtct being one dealing with the rather occult features of tha mind as exemplified lu physical phe nomena. After giving several demon strations of how fraud might be prac ticed in such matters, the speaker stat ed that be bad In bis possession a small bottle containing a chemical agent t wonderful properties. This bottle, he said, he would uncork and use as a test of the sensitiveness of the audience to telepathic Impressions. The test consisted In being nble to de tect the odor of the chemical, which was liquid. Thoso who could detect the odor were sensitives, and those who could not were, to borrow the language or buaicespenre, tit for treason, strat agems ana spoils. It wns at this point that the two young men, or one of them, made good, He began to smell Immediately, and regaled his companion with sundry rib Jabs and remarks on the strength of tho odor about. But his friend was from "Missouri," and had to be shown. His olfactory nerves responucu 10 no sensation. Ac. cording to the terms of the lecturer's request those who smelled held up tbeli hands. After a number of hands had been raised the bottle was recorked, but this man wns so very sensitive that he could even then detect the odor, and said so When, after a little further talk, th speaker announced that the bottle con talned nothing but distilled water, the young man lowered his head as well a his hand, nnd was quiet. But even non- he Is sensitive on the subject. Mem phlB Scimitar. HOW TO DEAL WITH THE TIMID SUITOR. nr nelcn oUrieU Custom ordains that a man mny choose while n woman must wait to be chosen; consequently. It behooves a modest maiden to guard against be traying her preference for any man who has not first openly shown his decided preference for her. Even then. If she Is wise, she will be careful; It man's nature to pursue, and he Is prone to re sent any assumption of his masculine preroga tive. The woman who, ns the phrase Is, runs after the men. Is usually the woman from whom men flee, and the quarry whom she eventually captures Is In most cases not worth the trouble of pursuit Still, there Is moderation lu all things. Men with proper self-respect object to being tnubbtd. No gentleman will THE LAW Of GOOD TAS1E. Bt lair (tsnifafr Cturcmll. The chief alms of art In dress should b til her the artistic blending of colors, the clever effects that make beautiful the greatest simplicity or tho most gorgeous and sumptuous rnlmeuL For In stance, what can bo more simple than the class! cat (Ireek costume, or more magulllccnt than n Venetian sixteenth century robe? And yet both can Impart dignity nnd grace to tho modern wearer. To be perfect, tho former requires ns much thought, study and taste as the latter. Aliovo all, to be suitably clad Is the keynote of the successful twentieth century toilette. Since' women have emulated men In the way of sport, nnd follow them on the moor, In the hunting field, on the golf links, and lu the motor car, their dress has naturally become more practical. Any foolish fashion Is certain to be short lived nowadays. Tho abominable practice of wearing long skirts for the streets Is dying nut Pretty as It Is to sec a summer dress negligently trailed over n smooth lawn Jeweled with daisies, the sight of u woman drngglug her gown In the street, sweeping up the filth and collecting millions of microbes, Is a revolting spectacle; and yet with a long skirt the only alternative Is to hold It up, a practice which Induces cramp In the arin, as well at cold fingers In winter, and gives a decidedly ungraceful wuik and attitude. HOW-fACING ROWING MECHANISM. From time to tlmo Inventors deroto their nltentlon to designing n method of propulsion for rowbonls which shall enable tho oarsman lo face lu the di rection the boat Is being driven, with Uie purpose of enabling the man hand ling the oars to steer the limit without tho necessity of craning his neck at fro- ' quent Intervals or taking easily mis understood orders from another occu pant of the bout Tho mechanism hero Illustrated has been designed by Dan iel II. Sheen of Peofla. III., with the above object lu view. The oar Itself LIVES WITH THE PARIAHS. J'ubllcntloiis that sedulously report the doings of society as represented by tho rich bring the cheerful tidings that Invalidism and Idleness havo gone out of fashion. It Is not good form, they say, for a woman to bo "delicate" or for a man to bo without occupation. Therefore he has ceased to decorate tho club windows, and she, having taken up some outside interest befitting m-r rciiuweu vigor, no longer sleeps late, but Is ready to begin tho business of tho dny seasonably. My lady's ath leticism seems to be reflected In the fushlons for 1003, If It did not even hhapo them. High collars, tight sleeves uud trailing street gowns havo "gone out," and looso gloves nnd shoes are worn. Pcr-haps It Is because she has learned to care for her body that the millionaire's wife has revised the fash ion sof dinner-giving also. No modern hostess thinks of ottering twelve or fif teen courses or serving six or eight wines. Indeed, It Is asserted that so ciety continually grows moro temper lite, and In one sense nt least this Is true, f6r Iho uinucv-tnblo Is no longer Satisfied Ills Curli slly. The curiosity of the natives of wild countries as to everything belonging to the traveler often leads to amusing situations. J. W. Wells tells. In "Three Thousand Miles Through Brazil," of his visit to one settlement where the only shopkeeper of the place proved very Inquisitive. He wns a frequent visitor, and would carefully examine the few belongings of the traveler. Ills curiosity was finally punished In a very funny manner. On one "f bis vllls, writes .Mr. Wells, he found my bottle of spirits of ammo nia on the table, and seeing It was something he had not hitherto Inspect ed, he naturally laid hold of It, and asked of me, "What Is this?" "Only a midlcliie," I replied; nnd with a perhaps unworthy satisfaction I wntched him bold It un to tho llirht. look at It all round, and finally remove the glass stopper and then take a good snltr. I had to rush forward to save my precious ammonia, as he staggered and gasped for breath, and ejaculated. "I am dying!" By dint of much slapping of his hack and dousing of cold water, ho quickly recovered; but nevermore did ho touch any of my things. Lacking in Experience. "How many years does It take a woman to lenrn not to talk to her bus band while he's shaving?" "I don't know, I've only been married eight years.' Pittsburg Dispatch. We wish we knew a wooden legged man well enough to ask If he takei his leg off when" he goes to bed. When It comes to helping tho poor, actions speak louder than words. American Millionaire Prefers a Ileal- deuce Among Outcasts of Japan. An eminent American alienist. Dr. Barr, records the most peculiar case of mental perversion ever kujwn. he be lieves, In the history of the world. It I sthat of an American millionaire, who Instead of llvlug lu luxury nnd ease among those of bis own kin, has chosen to reside among the outcasts In far away Japan. Many years ago he was one of the grcntset speelallstsiln Amer ica and was provided with vast sums of money for the purchase of such Instru ments and assistance as he needed. His reputation wns very great and be amassed a fortune of over ? 10,000- OX). Then he took to dissipation, which soon led to his downfall and, though rich and handsome, with cul tured and aesthetic tastes, he wander ed away from the United Stntes and took up a life of revolting excesses among the "bunlns" or gravedlggers and social outcasts of Japan. He caused his body to be tattooed over every Inch of Its surface and lifter a time returned to America, exhibiting the work of the oriental tattoers to anyone who would enre to look at It. A great dragon, perfectly shaded In every detail, adorned his back, while other designs were scattered over other parts of his body. He was, however, cut by all his old friends and turned out of all the clubs, and subsequently returned to Japan, where, In the garb of ono of the despls ed "hanlns," be wnndered about the country with a performing bear and a harem. Ills next freak was to hire a squad of Japanese boys, practically buying them outright from their parents. II dressed them In miliary costume and opposed to them an equal number of trained monkeys, dressed as Chinese soldiers. Then for his entertainment the Chlno Japanese war was constantly renewed. The contests were bloody and brutal nnd rewards were offered to the boys to urge them on to further atrocities, While thus describing the life and doings of this strange specimen of hu manity, Dr. Barr has taken tho great est pains to conceal the Identity of the man and has so far succeeded. A SHAVING GLASS. The man who shaves hlmsolf often finds It difficult to placo his mirror whero ho can get a good light for tho work, and without tho light It Is not an easy task to manipulate tho razor to removo the growth of beard from all parts of tho face. Perhaps tho travel ing man has moro difficulty In this re spect than tho ono who has his glass suspended In a fixed place lu his room, over an ordinary mirror Is at ouco ap parent. The Invention consists of n flat plate, secured to tho body by a strap around tho waist, with a rod clamped to a bracket on tho fnco of tha nllltn tn tiltnnni-l flm fmmn tn ivltl. j and It Is for his use especially that tho the mirror Is moused. At either end ALASKA NOW THE GREAT NEW COUNTRY UNDER THE AMERICAN FLAG. HE public attention has been recently turned to Alaska by the announcement of n new discovery of gold on the headivnters of tho Tnnana, which may rltal the Klon dike: but regardless of such gold strikes tho develop ment of the great peninsula goes steadily on. This development is now so much a matter of course that we do not notice It any moro thnn we notlco tho growth of one of the States. We have como to expect almost anything of Alaska. It has Immense coal fields, oil fields of great promise, nnd forests extensive enough to supply the whole American demand for many years The copper ores of Alaska aro probably more exten sive thnn such deposits In nny other pnrt of the world. It has only made n beginning In gold producing. Its fisheries aro among the most profitable In the world, and dally the proof accumulates that portions of Alaska havo great agricul tural possibilities. ' j It Is now asserted that the time Is coming when there will be n million farmers and miners lu the Copper Vnlley. Tho soli Is deep and rich and Is capable of yielding good cipps of all the cereals, garden truck, and fruit; nnd tho climate permits. There is nn nhundnncc of excellent grazing land, nnd cattle raising should become nn Important Industry. In the Tnnana Yalley basin there are thousands of nrrcs of excellent wild hay. "With the Alaskan railroad as a fact," writes nn enthusiastic correspondent, "the Immi gration to Manitoba and other provinces In Canada will cease, as tho Alas kan fanner with his natural advantages will become a successful competitor for the west coast trade." The railroad referred to Is that projected from Port Vnhlez to Englo City on the Yukon and thence to Dawson City. Tho distance Is 400 miles or 173 miles less thnn by the Skngtmy route. The engineering difficulties 'nro few, and the abundance of timber will teud to rednco tho cost, Tho con tract for this road has been awarded to J. II. McDonald, of Now York who ptni-pltt tn nut f, nflO men tn ivnilf In ttm unrlm, I. in. i. i,, . .. ' ........ ........ ...... . .. ... .., . lllt u ul ru ,lroun tor car." "Whnl's that?" "It doesn't royal highness tell mo quite candidly ,r lo r," 11 !' ,u wvry water trough It what has Impressed you most ford-! comes to." bly what has given you the greatest 8 lie I understand Hint Mrs. Emerson Is n strict vegetarian. 1 1 u Yes, very! Why, she goes so far ns In exclude Bacon from her literary diet I "What's tho matter?" nskrd Iho rooster; "more nbsent-mllidrdnins?" "Yes," replied tho hen; "I can never Uud things where I lay them." "I see the new mngnzluo ta out?" "Yea; nnd llinuk Heaven, they've got my poem right next to advertising matter!"-Atlanta Constitution. George I proposed to that girl nnd would have married her If It hadn't been for something she said. Fred What did she say? 'George No. "Did you see nny sharks when you crossed the orentt, Mr. Splfklns?" nsked Miss Purling. "Yes," replied Splfklns, sndly; "I played cards with a couple." "Now, Willy, you tuny give m n sen tence that will ho easy to parse." i"Yi'a'm. How's this one: 'Said tho 'sparse, parsimonious parson: Parse the parsnips I' " "Who Is Iho hero of this piece?" nsked the ninn who was coming nut of the theater. And the manager thoughtfully replied: "Tho man who Is financing It," "So you nre going to get nn auto mobile?" "Yes," answered the man who Is nlwnys thinking of his health, "the doctor says I must walk more." Washington Star. "la Miss Tinkler a good plaulat?" "She Is simply Hue. You ought tit henr some of her clnsslcnl pieces, You would never know they were music." -Indlannisills News. Her Mamma -You rertnlnly were flirting outrageously with that young man on the lii-uch. Don't you know you're a married woman, nnd Mrs. tiny -Yes, hut lie dldll t. Wife You don't seem to enjoy tha dinner, dear. What's the matter? Hus band I was wondering If there 1 weren't some typographical errors In thnt cook IkmV of yours, "He thinks of having his norms puh 1 llshcd lu Isiok form." "Well, that's the best way of putting them whers they won't IkiIIht anylsMly." Phila delphia Evening Bulletin. "Martha, whero Is the liter thnt was on my writing desk?" "I posted It, mn'aui." "But It had no address on It. I "No, ina'nni, but I thought It might b one of them nguonlmua tellers." Mrs. Jones And have jou nny refer ences? Applicant No, mum; )l toret! 'cm up. Mrs. Jones (In surprise) Tort them up? How foolish! -Applicant Yii wudn't think so, mum, If yrz had seen 'rtn. "Going nwny on vacation, old uiati? You nerd It, for you look all fagged out." "Great Hcolt, Isn't that proof enough thnt I've already been on my vacation nnd Just got back!" Balti more Herald. Envious Young man (speaking of fa vored rival) Yes, George Is rlcver and handsome, hut he Is so abomlually cou celted. Shan Young I July -Hut, Mr. Dumlry, If you wero handsome and clever, would not you lm conceited? An Irishman was stnudliig nt the cor ner of n street, his head all bandages and using crutches, when a friend, on seeing him, shouted: "Halloa, Mike, what's tho matter?" "I bet Itoonry a half-crown he couldn't carry me up a three-story ladder. I wonl" Physician (at hospital) How did you happen to i n II from the top of the ladder? Patient A pretty woman was passing, nnd while trying to get a good look nt her 1 slipped nnd fell. I'liyslclnn-Ah, the untiio old story-n womnn nt the bottom of Itl-C'hlcago Nows. "I jvondcr why donkeys ent thistles?" snld the man who Is nlwnys finding something peculiar In life. "Oh!" an swered the person who likes plain food. Thero Is no accounting fur taste. If a donkey were to give tho matter a SIIOWI.-IO O.NK OAII I.N I-OSIT10M. la a straight bladv mounted on a curv ed handle, which, lu turn, Is pivoted at the end of nn nrin extending from tho horizontal shaft to which the pow er Is applied by means of a short crank at the Inner end. In tho yokeIn which the oar Is pivoted Is a spring which tends to throw the handle, nt right angles to the supporting arm, and In this position it will clear the water In returning after each stroke. In the po sition of the oar hero shown a projec tion on tue naniiie is engaging a brack ot on tho side of the boat to bring the oar In position to exert Its leverage In the water with tho next stroke by throwing the upper end of tho handle down against tho shafts. To back the boat tho end of tho handlo Is clamped ' fast on tho shaft, but normally tho spring and bracket alternately exert their Influence to throw It Into Its Inop erntlve nnd working positions rcspec ttrely. About tlio Human Body, Some statistician has been contrib uting his studies of tho human body to a French Journal. In Its normal coiidl tlon, he says, tho human body contain thought I supposo lie would wonder enough Iron to make seven largc-sUcd nails, sufficient fat for tho supply of 13 pounds of caudles, enough carbon why human beings cat olives." "Yes, said Cholly Lonsou, proudly, as tho group of listeners clustered nround nn almost uninhabited country, hut there la no possibility 0f developing this to mako 05 gro" of k'"d l)e",ll!, "' him, "yes, I snved Iho Indy's life Hho region without first providing transportation means. enough phosphorus for over 8.000 wux lad fnlc from lc por( ', .,,, ivatua. wi , iiuikiu iu imi,iiiii- nillllT, - the same man possessea tho posslblll oj uio roil is n clumping screw, by tho ties of supply of 00 cubic meters of shaving mirror Illustrated hero Is In tended. As tho glass and Its support can be folded In small compass, anil are of light weight, tho dovlca will not greatly Incrcnso tho traveling man's luggage, and Its added convenience A Of. ASS IN POSITION FOIt USE. am or Which adjustment of Ihn nnn anil sufficient hvilmirmi In liilt.il.. n can be made to bring It to the proper balloon of a carrying power of 160 height. When tho glass has been ninn. nounds. ... . ,., " - "-i I'liii;- ... ... i.iMiuon uio snavcr has only (o alcp In front of a window or artificial light to afford n distinct view of his (ace and ennblo him to u.o tho razor with accuracy. Found Them Hani to rtal.o. A great gormnnd, who had a passion for shell-flsh, inherited a fine estate and a largo sum of money. Ho had been ex Irnvagant, nnd his friends u- i.. rejoiced nt his Jcgncy, Mr. H. Barry, In "Ivan nt Home," fells to what use tho money was devoted: I went to town ono day, nnd soon learned that tho prince was In his usual Impecunious condition. here has your legacy gone?" I ask- to 10.000 nt tho present time, owlu. Pleases tlio Birds. A scientist once put an iitilmnntlc music box on Iho lawn nnd spent many hours watching the robins, blue tils and 1 other birds gathering about It. A look- ' lug glass put up where the blids can see themselves In It Is nlso very attrac tive, whllo a combination of it musical box nnd n looking glass pleases the birds moro thnn anything else one could put out for their amusement. Population Is Declining It Is estimated that tho Eskimo pop illation or Alaska, Labrador nnd (liven land has declined from ;ii),(ioo lu INS' cd to the thinning out of tlio seal, walrus on th, "Why," he replied, "you know nolar bear uud other sources of -foot1 I am very fond of lobsters, and linvi.,., sutuily. iiici un i.ijr i-siuie, I IllOUgllt I WOUld try to acclimatize them thero; but uu. fortunately I havo spent ull tho legacy' ... un Lin-lulu iviinoiu succeeding, I qulto forgot (lie water Is not salt." Tho best somo peoplo can do Is to sr. press Beeond-haiid opinions. No Talent Iti-quir-cii. Marlo Tompkins la going stage." "How did sho get the chance?" "Why, It'H In n revival of 'llamlei and anybody Is good enough fur lh.it. Cleveland Plain Deal- was dashing awouud her. Powerless to help herself, she was sinking for Iho third time when I ran to the spot." Yes, yes," said the breathless listen. crs. "What did you doV" "1 shwlckcd for help, and It came." Young Clallelgh Is always pulling his foot In II. He danced three times tho other evening with tho girl hy whom he Is particularly smitten, and then positively asked her for the next. "No, really, I can't; hut I'll Introduco you to the prettiest girl In the room," said his partner. "But I don't want to dance with tho prettiest girl lu the room," said Calflelgli pettishly. "I want to dauco Willi you!" And now they don't speak. Ho Dronitod KxiiIomIous, "Now," snld tho professor of strong. ology, ns tho visitors crowded his re ception porlors, "I shall show you tho development of my urius nnd shout. ders and bust," "(Iracloiis, Mlrnndy," exclaimed Farmer Honillinnd, "lefa Jlst take n quick squint at 'Is arms an' slioi.1,1,.,- an' git out 'fore he busts." Baltimore American. Screens Henarato Tliem. Wire screens are now nhiced In the tramway cars at New Orleans to sennr. I " Uftfrocs from white pimscngers,
