Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907, May 23, 1902, Image 3

Historic Oregon Newspapers

Bohemia nugget., May 23, 1902, Image 3

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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (May 23, 1902)

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Newspaper Page Textr AIHYLAND. ViiM iii'i'il iinl Irnvi'l In n start Tlir way In i n xj-, mill mil fur An horn's nil Ik, ii mile from town, The henum iif Him old liigiiuli Lend you idling I tin pn I li fur sign Ari iirnm lii'iiil-liliiimiinn, frnll nnd Hup, lleslile llii' water; then the wood Taken Jim; lull only by ( 1 1 blond Leaping, nml by tin- sudden "In it (If thi overfull nml lliillllnii I rt, Vim Iiiiiiw on min ll rni i' In face. Till' green nnml hutri'm n sunny npni'it I'lll' Sllllg iqiltlTiitV tlllllllllK. Mini Ill'InW Jllly'n jjri'i ii I ii In full nt nwtw, la drifted rli'h nith Hlilti nml pinks (If I1011111l111sl.it front brink In brinks Till' llllllllll'll llll' ll'Slllllllls lll'l WITH Willi liitiiiuiliu ItlnlH, iihscurc nml keen, Like t ill r it -out Hinra llnil ilnrl nml Huol, Willi but ii I -1 lire at llii- throat. Ymi nan Imi I'liini i autumnr flutters? II .'ii 1. 1 Imt n Iiiiiii ilml dronnpil the Inuim? Yuiir lilim.l li'iipiil mil, nur shook your Ih'ltl'lV All, wi'll: I Irniiw tin other rlmrt. Tlin pnlli l fifP ymtr reel as fur Ax Hull nlil. li Ii --. Hi In ft tnr. -Century. 's Love Story. OlISWAI.I.IM I ffjL In- w ii finulliii ' immii liili'H was OltNWAI.I.IH tullll CornCuhb, I Lil ly rillll'll 1 1)' IllH iintloiihlcdly ii llinl'ii llldlirniin I llll" t'll'KUtlt llllllll'. rtiiHicrliic iii'i i-r Liich why In- Hhiiuld ji mi burdened, except tlmt t'ornwullbi wn mi nlil family iiiiiiii, "nil though Hint were mij i imi ." nhe "' iiuirki'il. Indignantly, "I murk n lunn through llfl'." Him remembered 1 1 Willy when kIio hint i'imnlili'1'i'il It tin' most ridiculous iiiiiiiu In tin' world, hut somehow lu ilny, mt she thought ' n tall, hnuilniiiiic llinil nIiii llild iiii'I nil Hi-gent street, III Hill morning, tin- absurd side tlil uul tippinl In liir "a strongly. Itcfoie Hint chance nii'i'tlni! It hnd liMMi four yt'itrit nluee she liml seen dim In n sinnll lnn In New Jcmcy, where, nfti-r tenting Prlni'i imi, lii' liml Inlil III lifiirl nml worldly unmln tit Iter f'it. In llii- liitiTnil tln 'lil o!ti'lii'iiii'r tiuil lii'fii iiiiiti'i.i i liicreused thruiigb tlit di'ittli nt a tu'.ir ri'lntlun. Cornwnl lla, tnll nml iimminly In those days, smarting under Kiitherlnc' ungracious ivrumil, shiMili tin' (lust ut Ills lintltu town from Ilia feet, nml sailed to tier tunny to Bt inly. for Hit' ll ml llmi', In looking hack nvir tin1 i'iiIhimIi', Kiilliciiue rnilUttl limy iIIhiIii Infill liml ln'i'ii her roftmnl When pressed for n ri'aitoii, she lux) replied llli unblushing cnnilur Hint ln.' never i'iiiiIiI i'iiri for n limn whose imini' wim Corn Colilt, no mutter what turrit lir ssencil. lint tlmt morning, when Im Imt nl miMt Hiiiinlili'il om her In n ili'pri'iuiInK IaiiiiIiiii fun. Ii I'lmtl to ft'fl nutliliiK but tin' iiliiumt ilt'iintiro In tliu uiifi- plH'ttll llll'I'tlllK- tn n tli'llrittt' uny In tlrpw from Iiit Hip nt'i-oiiiit of Iter fnllu'r'H ilinlli nml ttio iitvitnlty now In hi iipnii Iht uf I'nrnlns; Iht own IMiik, nil of wlilrli won tii'WH In lilm. Hit vohv nml pow er of uilinli ry Hlif tolil tiltn wi-rt' Iht only Klftn. nml on llie inlvlrt' of n f rl ml who liml Ihi'il ntiroml hIh tint) coiiiu to I.0111I011 nml foiiml I'liiployiui'iit ID atliKliU io'iii hoiiK In tlio tlriiwlii' rooms of pwpli' of wi-nllli nml tltlf. Kit tluTliii' Wlillucy liml conn' to locu tion ItlX llinlltllH lii'fnrt' Willi I'llKiT ro Ilt'f, to rHi'lipi' till' povtTty wlilrli fui'Pil lirr In Iht own country, hut HioukIi well rei'i'lutl. alio ni'vcr furitot Iiit (m hIIIoii: hIiu wm lilntl nt mm It to riitiTtnln my liuly'n Kiifnts, nml wIipii Hint wns over tliey liml 110 fin llicr imp for Iiit. In former ilnyn kIip liml luoketl upon Hie CiiIiIm wild ntiiiHii'il toliTinit't' nt their IiivIhIi dUplny, feellne 1111 Inhnrn gpimu of priile Hint HioukIi I' or. hIii wit n Wliluipy. nml one of Iht mires turn liml Kluiifil Hie liei'liirntloii of In tti'penileni'c. I'mni t-ltllilliooil hIil Imt) lintiil pover ty ; II iiii'iiut to Iiit n iTiimpeil, luirrow life; ili'.ilri'H tliut eolilil nut lie filllllletl, Ui'lii'riisllli'H Hint rotllit nut lie cnttl lletl, nml yet when u wny of vHeupe liml pri'Hriiteil llm'ir In the persoii of Curnwnllli C11I1I1. kIh' hail tlivhlnl Hint there eolilil pei hnpt he more thtiiHti'fHl expiT'.i'iiet" Until poverty. Tlmt ululit Kiitht'ilne umtlst'il ln'isi'ir liy riMillirj the mrli'l.v news III Hie (iippii. The hlKli Koumlliii; tllles Inter enteil her mill lieuiilli'il Hie time, for Khe ninili' few frlt'tiilH In l.umlnii nml found people imt en kit to weli-iiine 11 nl mutter. Hiitlileiily niiioni; tho tinineH Hint met her eye, nhe hiiw tuie Hint Hhe ieeo ItUeil It wns CnniwnlllH Cohh. The Hem lenil: "Mr. Cninwnlllit Cohh, one of Aiiieili'u'H youiiK mlllloiiiilres, Is he hi euteilnliieil ty I.mly Henry Chiy honie, nt Clayhiinie inniinr, Yorkshire. Itiiinur Iiiih It Hint a liiiirrliiKO hits heeii nrniiiKeil between Mr. Cohh nml l.mly Chijl ie'H elih'Ht tlniiKhler, I.utly Mni-liiii Chiyhoriif," KiithiTlue i-oulil lint help n regretful feellllU'. It HmKliK u fileuil 11ml then IimIiii; I1I111 Miihli'iily. I.mly I'luyhuriie wiih v Itleiitly not nveiMi to the inline of Cuhh, nml KiithiTluu hiUKheil n Utile to hei-Helf nt her former feeling of I'umli'Ki'eiisliiii to (he Cohlm. It wiih iienily leii-iliij'H before Cohh cnlleil, iih he liml pioiiilseil. When tiny by ilny piiknciI without uiiy from hlni Kiitheilue wiih fonseloiiH of n (11m Hurl Hi'iise of illnippuliilment, nml hIio euiicliuleil lilt nl Ikt nocIiiI ilutleH Imil liufili! him fot'Ki't bi'r. Hut nitti mornliiK there nrrlved a bin hiltich of vIoletH. The miilil who hroiiKbt tlicm to her wiih overcome by the Hl7.e. "I.11WH, MIsh," Hhe exehiluieil, with ilellulit, "they miiHt have eosl 11 Yap!" Tlmt evenhiK Cobb cnlleil, nml ex plnliieil Hint he liml been HUinmniieil to I'nrU miihlenly the tiny nfter he liml IiihI Been Iht, nml hail Just come buck. It wiih wniiilerl'ul how many HiIiikh they hail In lull: abuut iih Hiey Hat there In the shabby little bacli ilrnwItiK room. Kalbei'liie seomeil lo foi-Ket, hIu bail never shown lilm so much of herself before, It wiih so miluru! to bo talkliiK to li 1 111 nbniit thlnjjH Unit Intctesleil her IIIUHt. It wiih a furtiilKlit later tlmt hIio wiih eiiKiiKed lo slu at l.ady I.eelamrH re ccpllon. Her heail itehetl, nml her eyes were tlnzzleil by the I1I11.0 of llflita ami Jewels. Buihleiily she saw nitivltij; ncross Hid odd iowlu madl or muiT. IIiti-l n rnxlr. ni mmli' uf nl'iiii'. IiU" III" iix'lli t.il Mlrm liiri x of ICiiKhiud, but 1 iiniinii'il iiiilnlt nf fnnl 'I lir tiiiK-ii ill tin- lop nri uf ri-il niilri, llkt- win,' iln- I l.-i n ..r ihi' tiiti'loHo I In- ii Hi nn- i-'iiiHtrmti-il tit inrgi- k'ri'rll nppli-n. Hip finll lii'in kIiii'iI In 11 lliflit riiiiiu Hnili nf wiiml. Tin-i iibiIi- ,i iiiimtriii'tpil nt tin' I'n 11 A rlrnii r.ipntltliin 111 llulfnlo. nml tin- tup of Hip lurn iu wim twenty fi'rt friim llii' llnnr, tvhlli' Hip liiterlnr wnn In rjj" rli iiiL'll In liulil n ai'ore of per mum, Alliii'i'llii'r ni-.Trljr HI.IKKI nppli-n nlnm- nere uai'il In Iln rormntlnn anil In ttio rnintriH'lliin f Hip buiii. tlin miir.nli'ii of nhlili prnlrml.' from pin h Ii1p, room CornwtilllH ('ohb, on wlinip nrin leniipil n tail, pretty glil. Koiud une ni'iiiby wblitperi'il It wuh I.mly Marian Chiyhorue. l-'or n iiioment her henrl limit violent ly, nml then I.mly (.eelnml tnovetl mer nml iiiulloiifil her lo hIiik. It wns n enti'hy llltle 111 none nml when slie llnhtlieil It wnn creeliHl with well hretl npiiltiiiM'. I.mly Mnrlmi hail come ho near Hint xhe cotibl heor her remark to her companion: "Clever 1 It t lu thliiK rpilto mi nlr nliiml hrr!" Kiitlieiliii' took elnburnle enre not to look In their illreclloii, nml illil not hear bin reply, hut Hie piltl'olilxlliK tone of the elrl'n nili'C llllcil her with Imlltfllll Hon. The eri'tilni; seeuiiil li'rrlhly lum: ilra nn out. nml Kiitherlue Hioititlit It wouhl never eml. Khe fount hcrxcll Mlttlni; In n corner nluiie Jut nfter re fri'ilnni'titH were scrutl, when slie lienril her mime tuelitlutiiil by two rath er tllsilpiiliil loukliu; youtlm, who istooil okIIiix Iht not fur away. That their conversnlli'ii wnn uieniit for her to lienr she liml not the leant doubt, am her fuen hurtled. "She look n Jolly nort," mild one. "1 lmp half n mlml to nnk her out In Hie cnuNcrviitury. TIioko Amci leans do llll.VllllllK." "Aw. ipille no," nwientod the other, "tin nml nnk her nml I'll Join you later." At thin moment Hit;. Maronl. the little mini who plnyiil the 'cello, cnuie for wiml and iiihiiihI' ofTeretl bin arm to romlnct her to 11 small ret nut where mi'inlierrf'iif the profeHHlun were served by tliemselien. Shu rune with relief nt bis npprnr iim-e, when, to'lier Htirprlne, Cohh suil ilenly ntepped fimvnril, mid with n sllulit bow to Mnroiil exphilneil Hint Minn Whitney Ilml promised It I lit Hie honor of sertlnu her. nml before she knew whut to nay, Cobb wns beiidllu: oter her In Hie chiihiti nlnry. "1'iilifuuilil Hie Imperllnelice of tliosi' IiIIhIh:" be mild iimtrlly. "IHd they fiitthlen j-ouV" "O. no," replied Ivittliprluo faintly, "1 liml n heiidnclie, Hint mis nil1' -mid with eiiiTKy-"! hnto thin tort of Itilnu!" "Von mean " "Von. I ini'.-in thin nmunliiR people." nlie lntcrrupteil. "Their ItuulU m id den iiie." "O. KuthcrliiP, IpI'b run nwny from It nil." be lieisnu with midden ciigerucK.-i "1 would bo fco jtood to you, but " n luiiu pause. "ltut what, Wnllln'" she asked noft I'. "tl. my eonfounileil iintue." he replied bitterly. "Von know you told me unci' you would neter marry 11 Com Cohh." "Yen." she said, with n proud tittle Kcittirp, laybiB her I111111I on his sleeve. "I know I wtlil II once, but Hint was before 1 enritl; now"- her voleo wns very low "there Is mithliiK In the world so sweet to me tin to bo Mrs. Cornwnllls Cobb." BADY WAS AN ARTIST. Mrnctmer Ilny l'iiluit 0cr Ailinlru linn fur Hi t ('linrin.il Driitvlnu', Dnckerty, the district niessctiKer boy, wits Just In from n dash HiroiiKh the rain recently, when he was balled by his reporter friend with n request for a story. "Well, dey nln't much iluln'," said Dockefly, closliiK line eye meditative ly. Tossing off his rubber cunt, he llxcd his sharp little Ki'uy eyes on the reporter. "I'll tell yoiifc n yam wot nln't wild er woolly. If youse'll tell me de iiniiiu of It nftcrwntil. Dat Koes, tines ItV" Slipping Ills palm umler I1I.1 legs iibnve Hie knees nml swinging his thin llltli) trotliTH vigorously, Dockerty said: "l'i by St. Patrick's cathedral's n lioiixi) wld n mini an' wife mi' 11 little girl I years obi. Here wu. a hoy kid, hut bo wiir. took wld spliier meugectus. Well, tilt) Utile gill's nimbler Is n Hwell OUT OF THE DEPTHS. The Illustration Is a reprmlm'tluu of a l..! ....ml,,' li tin. Imt f tin. u-iit.ii- patterni'ii somewhat after the Holland submarine bant. Fur more than 11 ycur the Ilrltlsli government hits been experimenting secretly with submarine craft. Inning hceii stirred to this action hy the success of the I'Vcuch submarine boats, liust.iv Xctlc, (iyuimitu and Norwnl ami our own Iliilhtml bunts, No one knows whnt the Admiralty lias accnmiilislieil, hut It Is certain that soon the world's greatest navy will be greatly reuloiced by vessels 0 the new type. rim lady, 1111' 'er hnhby In nwell. too, nn' she cnlln III in 'Hub,' 'ritUHu 1 bears her. Well, I HU)! f do bonne on Monday wld it inenHiige, wlcli fuz werry pertlc uliir. Inwltln' de nwell lady down t' d' Wnldorf Astoria f set In dt gnllcry nt do I'rluee Henry dinner. "I wins dnivn In de hiiHeiuen' nn' dere wtiz dc kid, wlili hits de run er do house. Well, de baby wuz on de Moor wld n pi we er I'hnrconl nn' lb) I1uu.1i) dog wuz In front er do range. I)o baby taken n piece er papa wot conies 'round de gnn-erlen. nn' makes n lot o" black scr.iti lii's on de pnpe. lien shu comes over ter me nn' sez kinder soft like: 'Ibihy glte 00 hoofer plctur' dog gie.' Hny." nnlil liockerty, excltislly, "dern 1110 If 'twnsn't a purly good dog picture. Jen' den tie baby's nitidder she comes In tin' sees de baby's black I111 nils, nn' den nhe looks nt the char coal dog. lien she makes n dive fur toe plctur, nn' tie baby yells, 'No, inniii-iim- no. Ittlu boy'H dugglo.' "Well, dere wuz n arbitration over dat plis'o o' pnpe. Iio nwell lady w'ls pcretl ter me, nn' I t'liukn de baby nn' goes out Into de westlbitlc. Do lady follies me out 'n' wot yer t'luk? Shu snyn. 'Von deur my. bcie's $5 fur dat piece o' paper.' I Hikes tier money, o' ootirse, 1111' den I minders wot klndrr got' iiilui' I'll run Into uex'. Welt, I gnes t' tint snniL' ptnee to-ilny. nn' tie siiuie lady takes me In tie parlnr wot iu full er nwell Indies, nn' naught' on de wnll. in n gold frame, wuz dat char coal terrier. All do folks wuz snylu. It's Jes' too lovely,' nn' 'How did the darlln' out do ItV nn' t'lngn like dot." liockerty paused mid binkeil at his newspaper friend, snyn Hie New York Tribune. Then be bluntly ilcmnudcd: "Now, ynuse illlike good mi' (ell me de right nntiie fur golu's on like dat. Wot'n lie k'rect inline fur ItV i:imlllllll' llesliteiit Arlsttiorncy. It Is itiiiutis Imw many members ut the nrlhiiicrai y nml upper clashes ri"lile In the ciiliiules and In Aiiterlcn. says 1 1 1 l.oniluli r-xpresi.. Lord Cluirles I'ltzgcr aid has for many years past made his Imlue beneath the Southern Cross. He resided nt 1'iTiilea Villa, ItlddeH's Creek, In Victoria. Tho Karl of Sealleld has resided fur many years In New Zea land. Sir Nnrinan Campbell, of Auehln hri'ck. rildi s In .Vow Zealand, as do also Sir Kenneth Mackenzie Douglas nml Sir Wllllntn Torhes, nt l'ltsllgo. Sir AlcxmidtT Coekhurii-Cnmpbell. of ihirtsford. Iltes In western Australia mid Sir William llrown, of CoUtoun, resides In New South Wales. , l.nrd l'lilrftix makes his permanent Inline in New York, nml I-ord rfrench has taken up his abode In Ilulnwayo, Ithiidesla. The Hon. Claud Anson, who urn rr led I.mly Susan Ileresford. has n laiii li In Texas, as has also his brother, the Hon. rninels Anson. Kami l'llliii-s. Travelers In the celebrated Denth Valley of Cnllfornla have described the womlerful cniilortloiis of the siiud pil lars that small whirlwinds sometimes semi spinning across the hot plain. i:cn more remarkable are the "dust devils" seen by 11. 1". Wltherby. the lhigllsh explorer. In the vnlley of the White Nile. Sometimes two of these whirling columns, gyrating In oppo site directions, meet, "ami If they be well matched the collision stops them and 11 snuggle ensues as to which way they shall twist, (iradually one gains the mastery, mid tho two com bined begin to gyrate alike and then rush on together." Some of these whirls will strip the clothes from 1111 Arab'H back, or twist a goat round nml roiiud like a top. Nt'tv litno of Torpedoes. The Portsmouth (Mnglnnd) torpedo school has devised a lino of torpedoes to prevent Mihmnrlnc attacks. Many n uuiii who Is onpablo of giv ing good uilvleo Isn't cnpablu of earn ing his salt. photograph of the first Ilrltlsli submit- ,,rtr Itu I n n iti.n i- I tell, Tl,,. Iinnt la DETCCTIVE PHOTOGRAPHY. (linen In Which the t'liiiifro Ilui Com In Hip Alii of J list lip. I'holngrapby Is every year 1 roving Hit inieftlllicss nn 11 friend of Justice mid enemy of crime. A writer in Tit lllls describe a case of diamond theft .11 Ciilciilln. In which 110 pvIiIpiicb iigatimt the arrested person could be round. A policeman familiar wltlj tho nrtlllccn of the native criminal nig grated Hint an X-rny photograph bo tnlten of tho umn'n throat. Tho lest revealed the hidden illninond. Hy n trick which Hindu Jowel thieves lenrti nfter severe practice, tho fellow had "slde-nwallowed" tho stone. A llltle more than 11 year ngo Hume evidence that smuggler In IIiipiios AyreM were receiving gems through the malls put the authorities on tin- wntch Poslnl matter lu transit could not Im legally opened, hut oil miapii'loii sixty six registered leltcrn nml parrel were cxfiml I by the X-rny, and found to contain twenty thousand dnlhirn' worth 0 precious stones. Tho dishonest truf fle wan slopped, and n large mini wns aved to tho custom revenue. A person taking long-distance Uew from one of tho upper windows of 11 (nil building In Itochester, N. Y, caught the picture of n passing mar-ket-wngon with n man behind In tho lid of lifting n tub of butter from the load. Tho thief got nwny with his booty unnoticed hy the driver or any one on the street, hut tho photograph, when HUlllelenlly enlarged, Identified nml convicted lilm. 1 A marine view taken. by a passenger on n foreign steamer In the harbor of Itlo de Janeiro Included n small yueht. Two men, (Irnyson nml I.lnares, li.nl gone out In the yneht that morning. Only (Irnyson returned nllve. lie said til companion had fallen from the mast and been killed; but his story wnn not believed, and be wns tried nnd sen tenced n n murderer. The trial had been pretty fully reported lu the pa pen), nml one day It occurred to tho photographer to apply n powerful glass to his picture. In order to discover tho character of a small dark mark on the mill. Umler the magnifier the spot on the will proved to bo the figure of n falling man. Ho reported hi discov ery, nnd ns soon n It had been olU clally verified f.'rnyson was released. A similar timely discovery wns mndo nfter the village tragedy known at "Tho Cooper Murder." In Lancashire, Kuglnnd. Cooper, apprentice to Mc Kenna. n blacksmith, wns found dend on tho lloor of tho latter' shop, and tho coroner's Jury brought In a verdict of suicide. An amateur photographer ' who had been through the village tak ing "snnp-shots" on the day of Cooper's 'death, dot eloped Ills films, and one ot jthem showed the smithy with o par tial view or me interior uirougu 1119 open door, revealing evldenco wjilcli cnuseil McKenna's nrrest and his final confession of the murder. Complaints are heard against tho camera ns n nuisance, nnd undoubtedly the owners sometime nhuse their privi lege, but cases multiply in which Its use Is benelli'i'iit. mid eteit Its acci dental work proves valuable. Dogs nre to be used as river police on thu Seine lu Paris. Twenty New foundlands, warranted to snve the ap parently drowning, nre allotted to as many gendarmes, nnd It Is hoped Hint In consequence the rate of suicide will decrease In the I'rench capital. lilralTes In zoological gardens sccni to be nwnre of their pecuniary value nnd ready to take advantage of It. rail ing their nntural diet of leaves, which they strip from the trees with their long, black prehensile tongues, they cat only tho tlnest clover hay. Moreover, they nre lazy, wasteful brutes, spilling the hay on the Moor of their paddock nnd rarely troubling to recover It. I'or this reluctance, however, their prover bial fastidiousness may be partly re sponsible. Only 1111 occasional onion, tipple or lump of sugar pleases them apart from their hay and there Is even a belief that, fond as a glraffo Is of n whole npple, nothing will Induce It to eat one from which Its keeper tlrst takes n bite. An Instance of the possibility of liv ing under n snowdrift Is recorded dur ing severe storms In Kngland. On Dec. 0 a large Hock of sheep belonging to a enttlo denier of linrsdale were out on the open moor. The shepherds with their dogs collected the sheep and drovo them to n more sheltered locality, dreading a threatening storm which soon followed: One sheep, however, escaped and made Its way hack to the pasture, where It was overtaken by the heavy fall of snow and Imbedded In It. There It remained iintTl the snow melt ed, when tho shepherds wero nstou Ished to llntl It alive and well. It had stayed under the snow for twenty-two days. On Its release It was found per fectly able to walk home, a distance of n mile nml a half. It Is curious to tioto that this same, animal had undergone 11 similar burial In November, when it was "snowed up" for ten days. No Heiisalloii Intended, Among the printed and posted regula tions of otto of the New York public schools are these lustiuctlous for tho tiro drill of the pupils: "l'lre drlll-lAi II llells-To tho side walk and return, with clothing. "(Ill 4 Hells To the yard and return, without clothing." As n matter of fact, this performatico Is not as sensational as this principal's ambiguity might suggest, for the cloth lug referred to Is only the outer wraps and luttB of tho children. Now York Mall and llxpress. Helens" ot Moxiultocs. A defender of the mosquito says tho great majority of mosquitoes never tnsto either human blood or that of any animal, not having the opportuu Ity. They live upon vegetable Juices and decomposing milmal ami vegetable matter, found In the lucalltles where tl- y nre most numerous, mid thus per form n vnltiable service as nature's scavengers. HUMOR OF THE WEEK 8TOFHE8 TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRE88. Odd, Curious ami Lniiulmhle Phases of lliiniun Nnturo Uriuililcall J I'nr trnjrd hy Knilneiit Word Artists of Our Own fnjr-A lluilL'et of Vun. Doctor- Nothing serious. I assure you, Your wife merely lm a tnnll ulcer on the end of her tongfie. Ilnpeck Say. ibs'tor. I that n fact? Doctor Certainly, sir! I hnpo you don't think I would misrepresent the case? r.npei"k Nn. hut your discovery Hint Iht tongue really had an eml seems too good to he trun. Iluiiii Hit III. Ulster. "Wero you nt Mr. DeStylra' recep tion hist evening?" nsked the bud. a they met downtown. "No." replied the young man, "hut I wan at three balln." "Why, how delightful!" she exclaim ed. "Where were they?" "At my uncle's," replied llio youth, with 11 streiiitmi nigh. The Hlg One-.Vw Jer afraid to fight. The Scared One- I ain't afraid, but If I lick him me muilder'll whip me fer flghtin', nnd If he licks me me father'!) whip me fer gcttln' licked! Mnsctilluu View of It. Mrs. Wederly What lmoslb!e things one sees In the newspapers'. I'or Instance, here Is un necount of nn nngry woman who wept scalding tears. Wcdoriy What's Impossible about that? Mrs. Wederly What's Impossible? Why, the Idea of any one's weeping scalding tears! Wederly-Oh. that's nil right. In this case the woman wns probably mar ried. Mrs. Wederly What would her tnar rlagi' have to do with her weeping scalding tears. I'd like to know? Weilerly Well, n married woman, you know, seems to think It Is up to her to keep her husband In hot water nil the tl til". Iter t!ps mill Downs, She Doesn't Miss Snubblelgh's nos" turn up awfully? He-Yes. Hut I understand her noes have turned several young men down this season. I In 1 111: Their licit, rather Now, remember, I have for bidden you to go out with young Tom kins: don't let me catch you together n gain. "No. papa; we'll try not to." Life. Another Great Discovery. ' Oyer A new brand of hny fever has been discovered In Knnsas. Mycr So? What made the discov ery? Oyer A physician who was simulta neously engaged to live grass widows. fat'. Mistake. If? "Hello, Pat! Have you seen Sllke lately?" "Yes. begorra! 01 thought 01 saw lilm across the street t'other day. nnd he thought he saw me. hut when we got up to one another, bedad, It was neither of us!" Oaiichcrle. "What n clumsy creature, this now executioner Is!" exclaimed Tsl An, "What's the trouble?" nsked the court olllclal. "lu order to satisfy public senti ment, I ordered the decapitation ot two of my favorite attendants." "The order was strictly carried out?" "Of course. lie wasn't content with publishing the news of their execu tion. He nclually cut their heads off." Washington Stnr. A Xew I'ltasc. "Beware, sir, how you order mo not to see your daughter again. I belong to the levers' Union nnd one word from 1110 will boycott her." Life. To O110 About to Step ()(T. Tho Daddy Let 1110 give you n bit of advice, my dear. To 11 man tho heart of the woman ho loves Is like mi oil country. Tho Daughter How can that be, pa? "The Interest Is lutenso oujy so long ns there Is n prospect ot new discov eries." Life. Itntltcr lluotUtlcat. "I wouldn't marry tho best man on enrth," said tho fair female, who had been up against n game of solltalro for some forty "odd summers. "Huh!" growled tho old bachelor, "I see no reason why you should havo permitted that remark to escape. I didn't ask you to tnaUo my life n bur den." I Ilrnvery lliiiidlcupprd. Slip 7 xsm-' mfM-J& llnrn Diplomat. ".fnhn," exclaimed tho Indignant other half of Hie combination, "do you see this blond hair on your coat Just where one of the buttons Is missing?" "Yes, my dear," meekly replied .lohn. "Well, sir?" she queried, In a tone that demanded nn explanation. "Oh. It's all right," answered the head of the house, oh ho winked at the eat. "I put the hnlr where you found It for the purpose of attracting your attention to the button which has been missing for nearly n week." The. View Masculine. "I tell you. sir." said tho sad-eyed passenger with the bargain-counter He, "all women are Itorn gnmhlers. "That' right," observed the Jewelry drummer. "I know of several who played heart to catch diamonds." A Useful Lesson. Mrs. Pusher Thank heaven, that visit I over. How rude the woman wa to met Mr Pusher-llut what took you "H "icet'iigs 111 1110 ucim 01 u.u im.-s., there? You know ' , " " "'- f',rl" "James! She was born a Valancey; ' " strangely costumed dancers to I n she goes everywhere. Besides, now I V noti-niembers. ri.ey know how it I done."-IJfe. I nre supposed to represent ev p rlts mid have to he propltlnted with gift. More of Our Nobllltj. ' The well-known (Icrman traveler, Mr. Hy DrIIIcm, wife of tho well- m-sse-Wnrtegg, hn been exploring tho known oil magnate, will nttend tho archipelago ami other (lerinan Parlllo coronation, ranking n nn oil Hnroness. colonics. He saw a danceuf four Duk- Mr. Itlchasintidd, who purchased a maskers, whose appearance wns Count for hi daughter last year, ha unearthly enough to Justify the panic demanded a front seat nt the corona- nt0 which they threw the native wont Hon. claiming the rank ot a Couat by en, ot their bodies nothing wns vlslhlu r-verseil Inheritance. hut their bare, black leg and thighs. Hunk Dubbs, the potato king, of Trunk, bend and arms were concealed York County, Pennsylvania, Is prcpar- by a voluminous arrangement of palm ing for a trip to London. He expects nnd pandnnus leaves, something like n n royal box at the coronation. Haiti- ballet dancer's skirt, surmounted by more American. nn Immense, conical wooden helmet, A I'rellmfnnry. ' w,tH "Df", drawn on It to represent hit- "Then those pugilists nro going to man features. Some of these bend. Adit?" pieces were Blx feet high. The music "Yes; they've reached nn amicable agreement." Puck. Sine the Pennies. "Here's a begging letter." said Hus- sell Sago to his stenographer. "You may answer It with a refusal." "Yes, sir," answered the key manipu lator. "You will observe," continued the financier, "that there Is a two-cent stamp attached for reply; so use a Iostal card In answering the communi cation." Proof Positive. The Judge According to the evi dence, Mrs. O'HooUhan, you threw a flat-Iron at your husband. Mrs. O'HooUhan Yls, you honor; an' nccnrdln' t' his face 01 hit him, b'gory. Posted. Teacher- William, find Hie square root of any number. William 1 thought they found them nil last term. Exchange. Rlt-lit in the Solar Plexua. Ping Ooff strikes me as being a re. inarkably good Judge of human na ture. Pong Sure he Is. Why, only yester day he told me you were tho biggest fool It was ever his mlsfortune.to meet. Willing to Work. "Lady," said Meandering Mike, "I'm wlllln' to work fur me dinner." "You are?" "Yes'm. Dat dog o' yours has nip ped me two or three times a season reg'lar fur the last three years. I'm ready fur revenge, au' I wont to make it sotnet'lng dlsngree'blc, sotuet'Ing tlut'll harrow his feelln's; somet'lng dat would humiliate me furevcr If I was lilm. Lady, If you'll gimme a bar o' soap an' a pan o' water I'll wash do dog." Washington Star. it, itmv tnnir was I tin lu tho air?" nsked tho victim of a subway explo- with a friend, nnd Just before reaching sl011 Oxford the engine emitted some partlc- "Oh, about a minute. Why?" ularly loud and piercing whistles. Our "What 11 loug time to be away from heroine pronounced the note to be C in New York!" Life. alt, and was challenged by her comp-n- lon to reach. It. There being no ono but A. Horrible Suspicion. tlje tw0 njies In the compartment, eho Hlowltt-A. man in North Carolina re3polukHi Wtu 8Uch eflect that tho recently bought a farm for $00 and sold B0Um, of tUe engluo . ns m,nrly one waltiut tree on It for $i00. possible reproduced. Whistle, followed Wlsewell-There Is one thing about lvhlsUCi ami t0 each nn echo came from that story I really admire. tho throat of thtf singer. This continued lllowltt-Whafs that? for gome miutes uutll all at once tho Wtsewcll-The tree, at least, wasn't traln Biowed aown and then stopped, a chestnut-Chicago News. Heads went to windows, and it was The LeiiKth the Thlnir. evident something was wrong, for the "Do you believe lu the ellicacy of guard was coming nlong peering Into prayer?" aeu carriage. As he came to that lu "Well, 1 believe that It you pray for which were the two ladles he Inquired rain It's bound to come, If you pray whether any one had pulled the com- long cnough."-Philndelphla Itecord. raunlcatlon cord. "No," wns tho reply here, but In the next cotupurtment sat Accounted For. a lady, who replied In an agitated Gladys Why is It that ministers voice: "Yes. guard, I pulled the cord usually marry so young? because I heard such terrible shrieks Harold Oh! That's the only gnmo that I renlly thought some ono wns ho of chance they're allowed to play! B murdered." Explanations followed, Puck. I and tho lady who caused the trouble "Duels nml Duckling." .... ., 1 1 1 1 ,. . 1 ..... 1 .,,.1 nen a g.ac.er " sails away over the Arctic Ocean, It never travels alone. lu the wake of every large one floats 11 lino ot smaller companions. The Eskimos call this phenomenon "the duck nnd ducklings," nnd any ono who has watched the pro gress of the elder duel: followed by her brood will appreciate the aptitude of the name. Strange ns It may seem, plants grow and blossom upon thebo great Ico monntalus. When a glacier Is at rest moss attaches Itself to It, pro tecting the lco beneath It, Just ns saw dust does. After 11 time the moss de cays and tonus a toll, lu which tho seeds ot buttercups nnd dandelions, brought by tho wind, tako root and nourish. Those who have traveled lu Arctic lands say they hnvo found no point yet where tho poppy does not bloom during tho brief northern sum mer. Wire Fences Cause Accident. Accidents duo to the Increasing use of wire fences liuvo done much to causo a decline lu tho popularity of fox hunting in England. WEIRD DANCES Of DUK-DUKS. existing In the Islands of the Ills, initrck Archipelago, near Papua, la n peculiar Institution called tho Duk. Dttk. It Is a secret society, which holds of tho dance was produced hy beatlug on 'onf wooden drums. The dances usu- I nlly occur only once n year. In May, nml tnut fniir inwL-i. Dnrlnir this nis. ro), coc.oanut8 are taboo-that Is. they may not be gathered. All work Is abandoned, and the natives give them selves up to cannibal feasts mid other enjoyments. A TROUT'S MEMORY. Could Tell n Klsltlnic Hod from aCuno anil Fcured It. Tho late Seth Oreeu, "the father ot American llsh culture," believed that fishes have memories, nnd tho New Y'ork Sun describes an exhibition which he gave, by way of proof, to almost every one who visited the State hatch ery at Caledonia. In one of the enclosed pools nt the hatchery was a very large trout which always came forward to see and bo seen when visitors nppeared. It wns Mr. Green's custom, after calling par ticular attention to that trout, to ralso bis cane quickly nnd hold It over Hid water. The performance would hnvu no effect on the trout. Then Mr. Green would produce a light trout-rod, and appear with It at tho side of the pool. Instantly that trout would turn and flee, hide Itself nt tho far end of the enclosure, and remain there so long as the rod was In sight. This Is the explanation ot the sudden change lu tho trout's demeanor: Ono day, early In the career of the fish, Mr. Green, to try a barbies hook he had devised, cast with one in that pool, and this trout seized It. The hook penetrated and passed through Its tipper Jaw, near the nostril, and by the time It wns lift ed from the water and released from the hook. It had undegone an experi ence that made a lasting Impression upon It. Mr. Green discovered soon after the hooking of the trout Hint whenever ho approached the pool with his rod, th. trout would Instantly dash to a place of hiding, although It paid no attention to a cane or other stick held over the water. The trout lived for years lu that pool, and never failed to show Its fear of a trout-rod as long ns It lived. A Complicated Joke. A Birmingham newspaper relates the amusing adventures of a Icdy well known on the concert platform during , r . . I, 1. ..... 1 a journey iiuiu wiuuuu iw iu num- ware capital. 1 lie tnuy was traveling and her companion could hardly re strain their merriment until reaching uirmlngham.-Londoti Chronicle, " Tho Versatile KuUer. Emparor William of Germany can talk fluently lu six languages. He has written a play and conducted Its re hearsal. Ho has written n public pray er nnd conducted a choir. Ho can cook his own dinner, cau play chess, paint pictures and draw. caricatures. He has learned engineering and stud ied electricity. Though ho cau use only one nrui ho can shoot gauio for hours at tho rate of two a minute. Ho 1ms over a hundred tlth'snnd Is an admiral lu threo of tho hlggost navies. lu twouty-tlvo years ho has shot '-'11.000 head of gatuo. Ho changes his dress a dozen times a day, has a ilozn valets, and his wardrobe Is worth JMlO.lKXi, After all tho money spent In giving a girl n knowledge of tut anil music to help her through life, the time 0011104 when she finds that that which helps her most Is patience. No man Is ever too bud to Indie out a little good advice.