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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (April 25, 1902)
Peculiar To Itself I.. ...i.i it i., i ...i. ... ,. , ....in i in mill IVIMIl l i ll'K Cllll- IiillllliK llm IichI ItloiM I-ptt i ifyinK iiltnnillvi- mul Ionic hiiIihIiukch Mini I'll'iM'tliiK tin. iikinI riuiical mill imt iniiili'lit run.- ..hill JiniuiirM anil nil I'luplltiiiH, i.Ii.viiik w.miIi, tii.'.l. In i ii it 1 IW Iinkh iiml liiiiMinu iM, llm wliiiln nHinii in inn. only of Hood's Sarsaparilla Nil ntliur lll-illt'jiii ii,.lH lilill it; no ntliiT lni'iliriiip 1 mi h (liinn ho luui'll ri'iil, MlliHttitiliul unoil, no iitlinr in 1 i-i no Iimh riniutiil himllli iiihI ritrmijjtli nt nu liitln rcmi. "I was Irmililml Willi m tnliiU n.1 mine near ;;; " '; ?"';; ........hi i ,.,!,! ii. ,oi it... .i . M,.,.,.7i,i." s ..well as a,,,." !... IIimV."hVii'ot, "."" ' "'" 111. Kill Utile. I i-imM Itaail'm Smrmniimrlllm irnmlmom la aura mini hcoim llm irumlma. A II.iiikiIIc Myilny. Mr. Illiika MoitintttliiK 'lfr ntimit IIKIIilim. Hu Immiiiniruinoiiimitliiiiwl lii wlfi. Mrs. Illiiku I'orlmpn liu imi't mar rl.'il. Mr. Illnk.-Oli, y,., , . wcrtld uul throe i,ilm nl shot. n timnlli IryliiK lomivo inr furo Nuvr Yoik Wioklv. The I'rlu of Admliilon. Tlio (inly h.ii Im.l riwln.il tlio lilslrl onlo prlitl in hla nwr, mul huh In dulltlng hi n Jnvwillo rilltlmi of "Unrln Tom's (nl.lii." i. riiutlior'H .lrnwliitf ' 'invi'ilu.l Into it liiiiKriiry lliwilnr, mul ultli n vli.w, iirliiiia, of I'liiylne vil lo 'liilu iiniluiiidM), till" iintlcu una. hiiIw ivi.r llm iluur: mul Ktmtli'iiti'ii iiikI.t 13 yi'iitH inny mum In; U,,,, that urn not iilinut." .Nun York j:ftitiiK I 'out. ni:iinti: mi: i.miu viMir.i.Kii'N ll I'liiil.t N.il liiiiiili III. f-. lilnnaia ... I I he. Wain "1 11 (ur King." So writoa our rritti'inril friend. Mr. Frank ('luiinlx.rs, of u Ilcnm.lt r-t , Oliiawli'l. "I .r uvit tun yi-urn 1 anf f.ire.1 nf i.i.. from lii.linci.iicn, nn.l lx rnino r.'il ll.nl u. n incfi. alutilnw ol my "lillwnrt tclf I nonlil return limm. from my ltiltii. fiwlinit o fnint Unit I r.nil.l linrtlly .IriiK urn. lijt iiflur tin. ntlier; my ilrar wilo diil nil t.i hi lily rmild to t.ii.t mo Willi dumtv illIit, and n I untnni! the Ih.hm. I nlffil mul tliui;lit: 'Oh, liow k1 ; I know I van t'lit Unit.' lint nlii,' m. wonor had I unti'ii ii fuw tutjiiiMiila, whi'li I full Kirk; sown, piilim i-liut throiiiih my rhit mid ohoiililrr nln.li.H, my i.yud nvtain and uvi'rthiiiK n.'im-.l t.lnrk. 1 Inhhiiih iiltiTimtiOy hot mid .M, ii ml cut up from miuli n ilninty diiuiur hi'nrtlly lrk of UvIiik, nnd feci IliK 1 u 4 Him trial to vwryhody. 1 may mention that I wnnali-o very miit'li tronlilivl with n M'uly akin, and often hollo. Hut oiiii i.ri'iiliiK 1 notiie.l my I witn ci.Mn.sl morn clieerlul than iimiuI. 1 (llelloniil her mi. I fotiiid nliu had been reiullni; n iuii.lilet nhu had r cuived, of men nllllileil Jnl tin 1 una, nnd who lnul heun cured by Vnp.ler'a Comi-Hiiid. Mh I.I ahe, 'What uiea me morn faith in It la that It la Hindu from tho forimilu of nu eminent phyaicinn now In nctlvo prnrtlco in thu WW ICml of Iiudou, ho I am euro it la no iiuuk tlilliK.' 'All rlulit. dear, lel'a hnvo n Iwttle, paid I. Aftur tnkinK tlm con tent of thu llrat hottlo I fult very much Iwtter, and ileturnilned to kIvo thla i remeily a fulr trial, anil I ran Hltlvu- I ly iiHKiiro you that n few luittlu hau mnilu ii new niiiu of inc. I run aleep I well, rat anything ami thoroughly en joy lifo, I limn told mverul of my : frlentlH, nliom I know wcro iiIerin thu hiiiiio n myitilf, uud they nil wiidi mo to my Hint they aro liku new men. I ulneerely bleH thu (treat phyrlcinn who pivu you tho formula of Voseler'H Curative Conioiind, nnd nlno your Helve Jut iniilliiK It virtue known to a tnirfcrini; piihlic." Thu proprietor (thu tit. Juroha Oil, Ltd. llaltlmoru,) will Hcnd ii rumple, freo to any onu writliiK to thuin. An Obiliclc. "Them 1 nlwiiy room at tho top,' raid tin. (iood Advisor. "Indeed, yen," niiHWored tlio Unfor tunntu lVrcon, "hut tlio elevator ' not ulwnya ruiitiliiK." ,tl w RIteumalio pains ore the crlea of protest and distress from tortured muscles, aching Joiuts and excited nerves. The blood has been poisoned by tlio accumulation ol wasto matter in the oystrm, nnd can no longer supply the pure and henllli sustain. lnC food tlU require, Tho whole system feels the effect of this ncid poison ; and not' until the blood has been purified nnd urougui uacic to a ucauiiy conuiuou win the aches anil pains cease. Mm. James Kelt, of J07 Ninth treet. tf. It, Washington. J). C , write ai follnwti "A fc.T months ucl I had all nttaclc f bcUUe Rbcuina- lliniiniiiwortiiorm me Cain was so Interne Itiit I ecnme comiilelfly vroa. traleJ. The attack wai an unusually severe one, amt luvcontlltlon was re;aril cj as Lclng cry dinger out. I was atlcnileU by one of llie mott able doc tors lu Waslih.sloti. who U also a member t.f the fac ulty of a leadlnir medical collect here, lie told me to cuutlnue liu prcicrtn- tlontaud I would ret well After haTlntr It filled twelve times Wiiliout rerrlvinv the allgliteM be ne fit, I declined taronllniie liii treatment ani longer. lUylnff heartl of 8. H. H.fSwrlft'i Specific) reco mm ended for KheumalUiti, I ilerldcd, atmotl in despair however, to give the medicine a irUI, ana alter I nau Ut.ru n lew uuiiiea i wai auic ic liohble around on crutcliea, and very too u there am ifiir had tin use for llie 111 at all. H. S. fl. liavius cured ute aund aud well. Alt the dUtresslns t..ata Isafr ins tiiv nnnollln li si rl II r tt f I and I am happy to be ngalu restored to per feci 1 I tae great vegetable I purifier and touic, Is the ideal remedy ia all Irheumallc troubles. f m ..:-4 ... minerals la It to disturb the digestion and lead to ruinous habits. We have prepared a special hook on Rheumatism which every sufferer from this painful disease should read. It Is the most complete and lutcrestinR book ol the kind lu existence. It will bo sent free to any one desiring It. Write our physl. clans fully anil freely obout your case. We make no charge for medical advice. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, OA. ni:M.u -ji.i4IIa1ii -a t -e.ii -rua rtAafc (luuah Hvruo. i. nolo or oruKS rW?M 6eWf HW lap 13 nest Cu i AN UNCUOWNKI) Km. CECIL IIHODC8, CfIPIfIC UUILDCII OF SOUTH AFIIICA. lie. Win Dun f lr jj,,,, M.terfill tliai, ultra HlniD tin, ii,,,, f k. I.olr.ln Ilia llii.il A. lilrvci.icotau.nl Ilia lllciilrr A lolillliio. Not hlncu tin diiyn or Niiiolron Unn 'Ivlllziilloii Hi-en mieh ii iiiiiaitrful 'liur nuliT UN C.'dl lllioili-N, ll.o Hiiplro hnllilor, who died In Cupo Town. Hoiilh Afrlcii. Ilu poHneHscd ii Niiioluonl Hinhllloli, n lllnnlle eiiiTKy nnd n now- frflil llil. Heel nnd. like hln (jn-nl pro- lotypi', llm Coialenn, lie liuil u Hillirviiio oiiiimipi r.ir rlKlit. Jumli-o mid liu inmilly. Illn huh llm plollliiK that wn lilolleil tJieni 1 1 it I ii I n Mini I In. llix-iH III Iho liieivllfHH KtriiKKli. "hleh la drown- llIB till. Afriemi veldt In hlimd. III. It WIIH Who lllleelnl I lie Jlllill'HDII rnll. Ilolh wcrii In line with lil.i hltlon- U erenlii n eonreileuitu Hoiilh Africa tinder tlio ltntta.li Huk. nnd of HiIh new I'oiiiiiionweiillli he uih In lie Hid licnil. Ilhiiilen wiih tim Htm of mi Ctnilliih reeinr mid went I., Houlh Afrlnt a ituirter or n i-einiiry iikh for the henellt or hln health. Illn health wns rcHloretl mul he lninU. minify at the Klmlierly tllmiioiiil fiilneM. nltlmiili'ly coinhllilni; all thu varied nnd warrliiK InlereHta tlllder tint title of llie lie lleern MlnlllK l'iiliiirtiiy, or which In. lieciiniii rritil tletit. In IS'.K) he heeiimi' prime millili ter or Cnpn r.ilimy and then hu em (inrlicd on hi aeheme of eoiiiinHt. liu rorined the llrlllah Kniilh Afrliini f'om pniiy. a triidlnz and eiplnrlns coiiecrn. which was permltteil mi nbwltiicly freo hilliil In K.itilh ATrlcn. Ithotlca ruined Hie cry or .Urlcn for Hie Afri kander., which Kiiined Ilnlch Hiipport, whllii hln inoueil ileierinlmitlon to pnlni nil or Smith Afrlcii u I tilt Ih Ii reil lllli lllell to Illl.l llleil ih,. Ill li I 1 1 iiiiiii: llintl.ill lie M... He.) the I'.ipe It. Cult. i Hulli. Hull Ii Sii.i. ml Ilia ivin r It'll 'He itf cr.ctL- j -irtionr.s- miMlcrri hlicmneil ihroiiKh Iteehuatia html uhl li lie priii'tlenlly wrcaicd from th Iliicia 1 1 kcIxciI MiihIioiiii tn 1 1 I . Ilia machine l-iiiii nlleil llie I plalnx or .Mntiibeleltmd IiIkIi with dead luullvuM and by uliulhir nrKiimenta nth ff iMvliica, the whole iKdiitf liow 111 cliiile.l under the p'li'Tal term llho deahi, cam..' under the away of tho chartered company, which wa Ideiitt nil with Ithodc. Hla Napoleonic Ambition, It la probable Hint at the henliinliic ltlculca conceived (Illy of u Hrltit.li South Africa li empire. Hut 111 nmbl-' Hon rcw uud when tho Cape to Cairo ltaili'o.iil wiu projected hi view cm lira ceil an empire oteinlliii; from tho lleilltcriaiiean hea to thu Cape of Cood Hope, cinliiuciiif tlio lanils or the I'liupiaha, the territory of tlm Malidl. thu nliuont umxploivd region In which the Nile ban II ininy soiu'cok mid on down beyond tho ureut Inke nnd ncron the veldt to Tahiti Hay, where Hie warship or (ircat llrllaiu tuu nt their nnclior. I rttlr n Nnnoleonlc con 'ei.itllnti mill n V,t,i,tln..,.l.i nu(- Aa km Id. the Infamous Jameson raid and the war with the ltoera were In rtirthernuco or hi darlnc scheme. When Hip Hour worn subdued then Ithodc would resume hi empire build Iiir without opposition. Hut ho hna died too soon, lthoden wa enormously wcnlthy be rorc nie noer war. anil uIHioiikIi his In icrcstH nmicreii ns u consciiuencn or ' it.-n, A.JIIKIK ..CIlllll 'or lteir. Hu was covetous or the power Hint wealth give ami ho wns Rcnerotl with hi money. Once he B,oc;cd Kiiglnml dlirhis tho heat of ,,, , ,. , ,. n,.i.,i ... , .. . ,, '; " f ,? K , 'r t'",,.rl '" XK) ,0 rl'' "'" "ule '"''' lu' rrltlclsed ho turned on his critics, told them to Hludy the Ainericmi cmiHtituilon and learn how to trovcm Ireland. Ho believed In a vast federation under the Hrltlsh tlac with tho most liberal rorm or Kovern itneiit In each soparalu Slate, nud thus his home rule proclivities were natural 'and Inevitable. He wn a groat nil jmlrer or thu United Stntes. Ha Im mensity and success nttrncted him. lthodcg wn simple In Ids tastes. If kingly nmoni; lilng, ho wns nlso n fanner mnoii) rnrmers, and niuong the Capu Dutch mid liners such n meta morphosis Is the necessary steppliiR utoiip to the hearts and votes or tlmt numerous people. When ho wan In tlio Capo 1'arlln tuciit. Mr. Ilhodea woro a hat which was so shabby that It bcemno tho sub ject of iiowspnper Importance. When lie was In Ithodcsla hu donned the old- t't 01 ciouiiiik m m witnirobf, ami folio wim tlio linblln of Iho ploiu'ers who wcro Bcttlhitf tho country. Ho Li,.tu in n i.-itit-., ..... - w" ' lMi MtH.I UUi tUill a town, mid nte or the sumo canned beef mid cradteis that his Chartered Company served to Ita momited police, formality bored him, mid ho would rather 1 1 we n mouth rontles and col Inrloss In u native I; ran I with an old colony story teller than spend half au hour at a statu dinner In thu govern or's mansion. lthodes was too stroiiR In character to stoop to a He, He shouldered tho full responsibility for the Jnmesou raid, nnd when his friends nsked him to bu discreet and pin riled in his utterances, ho replied: "I am not gains to lie about It," Tho conviction nud sentence of unit . i in i'..uutl I he r s.,iii h n h ii. Imii-iiiu Ilia win n .i III v ii. no, I Miihni: ! len lie itfi. i I. u I r. I II'.- s.,ll a WHOLE TOWN I ZL . 1 On tnl arrjiind a rrd cular uttimp In grotipfd thf entire potajl.Hou ot Hit. lotrn of KHlro, Waali. Hlttlmr olid utantllnic on the top ot ttn Hump lra 38 full Krown mm and otw tittle -lrl. 'Hi'rr I) ample room on lop f thl, Hump ror all the men In alrlit. hut ir placed there omr or tliim wouia W out of ilnht. It la tlion.iiulily Intrreatlnir to note that thla huge atump I V " " orcurafr raw. nwikinK It a fit aaaoclate for the mUlity redwwd of Calirorw, T0 u , Kiml tilcn ..r the timber urowtli In the tlclnlty or thla wonderrul "ttoip It wtj I, alutcd tint there are many aturapa In the rlclnlty or thla one tilt M W) U. 00 f.ct In ilrcinnffrrnce. Dr. JatncHon, tho leader or the raid, pained him Kreutly mid drew from hi in thla hlllni; HiirciiHin: "What n trlhtilo to tin. morul worth or thu nation that has 'Jumped' thu world!" IIIioiIcb una niiver married. Ho wai Mid to have been a woman-hater. Any wny ho never hint time or Inclination ror Hit! aoft Hhlo of lire. He waa proud cohl, dnrlic:, audacity Itacir, and ho hewed toward the conl or hla ambition without n lc tcniug aentltueut or cither mornia or mercy THE PfllE8T AND THE 8CRIOE. Himrtlim Kei.nrler'a Trouble TrylllK to Deacril.e u Church Ccreiunnj "Onu of the most mnnzlug thltiK" Hint I have noticed In tho conduct or m-wspnper," mild u prominent Iloninn ciilhiillc clergyman or thl dloceso In lalkluc with u Stindny Inter Ocean re porter the oilier day, "I tho absolute Ignoraucu or our church matters that i he .ueraxe reporter detailed to wrltu ..r them exhibits. Onu would suppose Hint the paper would select men for Hiicb duties who were .piaHUcd for tho uoik by reason or being members or the church, or who nt lenst had such a general store or Information ns to enable them to approach their assign ment with the spirit or Intelligence. Thu ru verso seems, however, to be the rule. "I nm Impelled to make this criticism by nu eiperlence that I had at tho Holy Nmue Cathedral a short time ago. There wns uu Imposing church cere monial to take place In which 1 was to uiku part with scores of other priests i.f the archdiocese. A short time be fore the services were to begin a re porter Tor olio or the papers came up to thu pnrlsh-houso for Information, and, seeing inu there, asked too to tell hltn In advance Just what wn going in be done. 1 sat down mid he pulled out his pnd of paper and began to take notes. In my description of the cere monies 1 mentioned tho acolytes. He stopped hla writing and looked up at nie with u puzzled expression. "How do you spell that';" he flaked. "I told him and he put It down. Then he looked up ngalu and nsked: " 'Say, what are acolytes, anyhow?' "llrletly, 1 told 111 m what acolytes are, and then went on with tny descrlp Hon of the ceremonies. In doing no 1 mentioned Hint the brothers were to take a certain part. Again the reporter looked up and asked: " 'Say, what bribers?' "I gnvu him a brief explanation of thu brothers, mid he took It all In When I hnd coucluded ho tired another iUestlon nt me: " Sny, what's the difference between the brother and the priests?' "It wns now tny turn to nsk iiues llot.s, nud I did so. 'What Is this, uuy how? A theological class?' I Inquired. What kind of work do you do for your paper, young man? Horse rnces?' " '.Mostly sporting,' he nnswered, not In the least abashed. 'I never tackled a proposition like this before, and It Is Just so much (ircck to me. Sporting news Is pretty dull Just now, so they scut me out on this.' "He was so frank about the matter and realized his own limitations so well that I couldn't feel angry with him, mid actually had to laugh nt the bewildered air with which he np- pronched the whole matter. 1 lled him tip ns well as I could, hut never had the courage to look at the report that his paper prlutetl." Chicago Inter Ocean. OWNS THE LARGEST FARM. Wonderful Kecorda nf Tills Vear'a Work ut Tiirklo, Mo. David Itankln or Tnrklo, Mo., owns tho largest cultivated tract or land In tho' world. To those who havo never visited a largo ranch tho methods nec essary to carry on tho vast amount or work would seem a great problem. Mr. Itnnkln owns fourteen ranches. containing '."AOOO acres; 700 tennis nud '10 men nru required to operate tho hilly routltio work in the busy season, whllo thu crops aro under cultivation. Each much has an overseer, who Is re- lii I red to make a monthly report and to submit tho samo to his employer. Tho records nf year's work for 1001 over all tho ranches show Hint a total of T.r.li;) head of cuttlu hud been Bold for $172,(520 nnd 8,210 head ot hogs for $111,840. The total clcaranco for tho year amounted to $100,000, Tho ex penses, Including Interest reached tbe sum of $01,851.13, Tho most profitable much Is tha ouo looked after by Foreman Ueorgo Itoss, whoso yearly report contains tho fol lowing Btntements: Number of acres. 1,280; cuttle, 1,328; net proceeds from cattle, $i-!,M)S.OO; hogs, 1,232; cash for tho same, $17,05-1.10; expense per acre, $4.30; corn bought, 08,720 bushels. Mr. Itnnkln Is a closo observer, says the Cincinnati Enquirer, and soon picks out thu good qualities of his men, Ho Is pleasant and accommodating, daring ,11ml energetic, which qualities havo won for him tho wealth ho now com mands, llesldes his farms ho has an Interest In soverol banking concerns, but to these lnttcr ho gives little atten tion, nud spends most of bis tlmo rid ing over tho ranches to see that proper euro Is being given the stock. Some ON ONE STUMP. time he lends a helplni bond to pull ing a steer from the nu4; again he will assist In building shed ror tba rat tened hogs. A lllploinatlo Waltrssa. "Jack" Maber, ofth Pike atock Company, Is very fomVof egjs. and when the products of the Industrious hen wrre soaring higher than North- eni Pacific stock, he 'entered a certain popular-priced restaurant and ordered lomo of them boiled. The waitress wished to inform ti.m that the price. on eggs bad been raisea, and as a pre- llmluary remarked "Do you want them very bad?" "I rather think not," said Maber. "I should prefer mine fresh, If It's all the same to you." The waitress attempted to explain and blundered the second time. I mean do you want them tbt worst way?" she queried. Mnher became angry. "Bsy, do you I think I'm n barnstorming Hamlet or ' au antiquarian on hen fruit? What I want is some ineuium uouea eggs, anu bo quick about It." I Tho waitress fingered the table cloth 1 and timidly remarked: "If It's all the same, wouldn't you I rather havo them poached!" I "Why?" asked Usher. "Well, you sec," responded tbe wait- res, "cges are so hltn now and tha dealers aro so unscrupulous that we find that It saves argument with our customers If the cook opens them In tho kitchen." I Without a word Maber seized his hat and fled Into the open alr-Clnclnuatl Enquirer. 1 where. Men Hat to Lire. The Trapplst Monks consider eat- ! Ing to bo a necessary evil," says John ! Hall Osborne In Llpplncott's March I Mugazlne, "nud curtail It to such a de- greu that oue step further would bo t suicide. Dinner, to which scarcely 13 minutes Is devoted, consists of a mess of vegetables bolledLln water without tllltlpr nr ..nil an,lervnrt In- cnliln butter or bait oodrved In-a crudo earthenware v' ry5bftaTr w'.. or two ot aaVbd tt mug of milk or watts average. Sup per Is the barest a,iogy for a meal, being nothing mortf than bread and water. The guest-master did not men tlou breakfast; It there be sucb,n meal. It probably consists merely ot a glass of water. A slight relaxation of this dietary Is allowed to Invalids, who may bnru two eggs a day, while on extraordluary occasions, such as a fu neral feast In honor of a departed friar. the monks revel In an egg apiece. They nru strict vegetarians, and a Trapplst must bo In the very Jaws of death be fore be will consent to eat meat. How these poor, untiring tollers can exist on such feeble food surpasses my com prehension; nnd yet I saw Individuals at Westmallo who had been undergo ing the rigid regime for hnlf a century. the majority of the veterans, how ever, were haggard, sad faced and gnunt, nnd bore no resemblance to tho proverbially sleek, Jolly, rotund monks of tho cloister." -n The Moon Kept ou Bliliilag, A certain well kuowu Judge was nee violently attacked by a young nnd very Impudeut ,counscl. To Iho surprise of everybody, tho Judge heard Mini quite through, unconscious of what was said by those present, and inuilo no reply. .Vfter the adjournment for tbe day and when all were assembled at hotel where the Judge and many of the court folk hnd their refreshments, one of tho company asked the Judge why he did not rebuke Hie Impertinent fellow. "Permit me," said the Judge, loud enough to nttract the attention of tbe whole company, among whom was the barrister lu question "permit me to tell you a little story. My rather, when wo II veil In the country, had a dog, a more puppy, I mayl say. Well, this puppy would go oiSlevery moonlight night nnd bark at tlio moon for hours together." The Judge paused, as If ho had fin ished. "Well, what of It?" exclaimed half a dozen of the audience at once. Oh, nothing-nothing, but tho moon kept shining ou, Just as If nothing had happened." A lr.viua I,1. ........ "Two dollars to lAirty-secoud' street? , How far away is it?" "Ohl It's soma distance from here." "It Is, eh? I paid a cabman two dol. lars to go somewhere In Now York wunst an' ho got there almost as soon ns ho got tho two dollars!" Puck. Mortality of MaryUtitl Horse. Investigation by tho State vcterinn. rlan shows that tho high death rate among horses In Xlarylaud Is du tn ccrobro-splnal menlnglOs. The dlscaso Is tho result of poor food, bad drainage aud generally insanitary environment. Chinese Woolen Worker.. In San Francisco 570 Chinamen are employed In factories making under- wear for women and children. Olrl ' are loiunj uuuuio io competo with them. When we have a kick coming, we have noticed that It comes from some other man. Port Ploiuro for Woman "Umto nerroui, thorn l not a well Inch In my whole body. I km no weal t my Ktomach, nnd liare Inillgontlon horribly, and palpitation of the heart, ...! f ... In. In.. An.t. tTltta l.un,ln.tin and hackacha nearly kills mc, and yes terday I nearly lnul hysterica; there la a weight In the lower part of my lxjwela bearing down all the time, nnd palm In my (rrolns and thigh; I can not aleep, walk or alt, and I bellcre I am dlaeaard all orer ; no one ever aufTrred aa I do." Thla la a deacrlptlon of thmtvinda of riLv.H which come to Mr. I'lnkhnm'M laboratory for adrlco An Inflamed and MBS. JOIIS fVlMUatl. nlceratcd condition of the neck of the womd Can produce all of thew symp- toms, and no woman should allow herself to reach such a perfection of misery when there Is absolutely no f V WIlK'f Enirllshtown. N.J.. has been entirely cured of such Illness and misery by Lydla E. Plnkham'a Vegetable Com pound. No other medicine has such a record for absolute cures, and no other medi cine Is "Just as good." Women who want a cure should Insist upon petting Lydia E. Plnkham'a Vegetable Com- pound when they ask for It at a store. The Coiiiic. "I had a terrible time last nieht. A crank called at my houso and I had an awful time getting him to go away." "Threatening, waa lie?" "Yes; he threatened to tell me all about bis exploits on the links." ' A Mtsiurc of Tlmt. The Tupil It eecmed to me that I must have piacticed all of two hours. me rroieesor nut rm sure you didn't. If you had practiced two hours 11 woula "ave seemeu like six. rucic. TaMnj the Short Cut Mrs. Galey (musingly) Suppose I should publieh your love letters, dear? Mr. Ualey Why not simply mako a public acknowledgement that you mar ried a fool? "non " Princess mum. Sir Arthur Sullivan was once tho bearer of a letter from the Princess of ales, now ljucen Alexandra, to Her mother, the queen of Denmark. The 'otter read it and said: I llcr IoUer- '1Ie wi" tell little monkey.'1 'I ouo Fays in you about the onkey.' " "I assure your majesty," taid Sir Arthur, I am quite ignorant on thesubiectolanr monkey." Tho queen, with a laugh, replied: "She means hert-elf, Whittle In Old Mexico. The ancient Mexicans had a species of whistle which produced at least three notes. It had two finger holes and a mouthpiece on the side. Or.lv Wsltlnj. 'Doesn't it make you the least bit envious to see what elegant furniture Mrs. Eyeflv is putting Into her house next door?" "Not a bit. My husband says it will be sold by the sheriff within six months and I'll be there to buy." Few Things In Stripe. "Will you kindly show me what you have here?" asked tho visitor to the pen. "With pleasure," replied tbe warden, who had once worked in a dry goods store; "we have a few things in etripos that I think will Interest you." A Hire Brand. "This," said the salesman, handing out another package, "is aUo an excell ent substitute for coffee. It is very wholesome. It makes red blood." "Haven't you something," asked the young woman witli tho earrings, "that n-akes blue blood?" Simple. Friend Why do you imagine that drink drives away your troubles? Old Tank Oh I I exchange one load for another. Sullivan's Truthful Rcmirk. John h. Sullivan has been recognized as a truthful as well as a fighting man. "I've made a monkey of myself again," he said the other day. Denial from American Scout Major F. R. Ilurnhnm, an American I scout, who served with the British cav airy in the lloer war, denies that he has applied for tho place ot Instructor of 1 scouts at Aldershot. Work of Joel Chandler Harris. Joel Chandler Harris, tho author, iivos In a littlo frame cottage. In At lanta, (3a. He writes from six to seven hours a day, turning out from 1,500 to 2'000 words' "slngatypowrltor. A Sacrilegious Desire Mrs. Jonos What's become of that silk smoking jacket you gave your husband (or his birthi'ay? Sirs. Smith Oh, I had to mako that over Into a sofa pillow. He actually wanted to sit around and emoko In it. Judgo. Nice Man, Cadleigh -Won't you glvp me another dance? Miss Wiggins Really, Mr. Cad-lok-li. vou'vo had nearly all so far, n,l Cadlelch Yos, you know, It's just to Bpito Miss Pechls. We'vo had n nuarrel. If. V. N. U. Mo. 17-1003. w UKN writing to adYortlaere lles mention tins paper. Interesting. He Do you find It nn interesting story? Sho Oh, very. I'm so anxious to get to tho end that, really, I can't help skipping nearly ovory othor pngo." To Mn. Brooklyn, from Hubby, j "My husband Is going to give mo this portrait for a birthday present." i "That's very kind of him." I "Oh, but he doesn't know about It yot." Ilrooklyn Mfe. Used to Carrying a Load. Papa Are you sure you ran support my daughter In tho stylo to which alio is accustomed? Tho Huitor Well, I will only say that yestert'ay I dipsoed ot my auto mobile, which I kept in good repair for over two year. Papa (brokenly) She is yours, my boy. I, too, onco owned an auto'. Ilrooklyn Lifo. CITQ rnnanfttlr dr1. So nts ar narTonsoeal lllO trtrflm Uf't.i.-oM.r Mlaa'sUrrat Nml Baatonr. Saul lor Pit RK i.OntiUIMtUao.l trtat toa. Da. II. 11. K in i. LW .yjl 1 rcli SU flilladal tbl. fa, Too Bad. First Author Stackson's is a caso of where a littlo knowledgo is a danger , ous thing. Second Author In what way? ' "Why, ho knows just enough of his tory to unfit him for being a bis tor leal novelist." Brooklyn Life. i Lame back makes a young man feel old. Hamlin's Wizard Oil makes an old man feel young, fete your druggist. j Foolish Man. "So Markiey is dead." "Yes, it was a complicat'on of troubles," "Why, when I saw him a week ago he only seemcl to have a slight cold." "That's all rig t, ! ut he tried to take all the remedies his friends sug gested." Philadelphia Press. I Piso's Cure cannot be too titehlr snoken . of aa a couch cure. J. V. O'liaits. 322 Third Ave., N., Minneapolis, Minn., Jan. C, 1100. I In the Land of Dreams. Hettv Oh, Bertha, you must show me that hat your husband said he was going to buy for you. Tlio last time I waa here, you know, be said it was : dream. Bertha And it is still a dream Hetty. Tit-Bits. Ltatllaa Cau Wear Shoes One size smaller alter ostne; Allen's Foot Ease, apowder. Itmakettlsbt or new ahoea easy. Cures swollen, hot. aweatlnr, aching teet, in trowlne nails, corns and bunions. Altdrus' rlsts and shoe stores. 2Sc. Trial package FREE br mail. Address Allen S. Olmsted, Le ltor. New York. Decoltetle. Jimson Did you see the society buds at the reception last night? Jester Yes; one would think tney would be afraid to come out so early in tho soring without wearing more protect!' n against the frost. Ohio State Journal. Some One Must Pay the Bills. Anxious Groom I thought you said something or other about a check; I don't see any. Angry Father-in-Law You blither ing idiot, your wife is a regular check book. Every time either of you wanta anything she writes me a note anl I've got to cash it. MIsi or Mrs. She I want to get a necktie for gentleman. Clerk Yes, miss; here are some very pretty ones for l. She 0, I don't want to pay more than a quarter. Clerk Yes, madam; dees your hus band like dark or light co!ors7 Phila delphia Press. Already. "That boy," remarked old C'rherus, drily, after the youthful hope and pride ha'd been led off to the spanking de partment, "has the bump of litigation very strongly dovcloped; lie is already vigorously engaged in contesting the parental will." Had Earned Her Retirement. Miss Susan M. Hallowell, professor of botany for the past 27 years at Weles ley college, has tendered her resigna tion. Her retirement withdraws from the faculty ranks the last member who served in the opening year of 1875. 'iho Kind You Havo Always turo 01 units. 11. l' ictciicr, mui lias uccn liintto uucicr ins pcrsonnl supervision for over HO years. Allow no ono to deceive you in tills. Counterfeits, Imitations nnd .Tust-ns-good " aro but Experiments, nnd endanger tho health of Children Expcrienco ngalnst Experiment. What is CASTORIA Castoriiv is a harmless substitute for Castor OH, Paro jrorlc, Drops nnd Stiothinsr Syrups. It is Pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphiuo nor other Narcotic substance. Its npro is its guarantee. It destroys 'Worms nnd allays Povcrlslmcss. It cures Diarrhoea nnd AVIntl Colic. It relieves Teethlns' Troubles, cures Constipation nnd Flutulcncv. It nsslnillntes tho Food, refrulntcs tho Stomach nnd llowcls, Rlvlnfr healthy and natural sleep. Tho Children's Panacea Tho Mother's Friend, Tie Kind You toe Always Bought Boors the In Use For TM OCNTAUR COMMNT. TT Si t0& PRUSSIAN STOCK FOOD The Oreat Conditioner and Stock Patttner. HORSES da More Work on Less Peed. COWS give More and kl:ntr Milk. IIOUS I'atten Quicker II given this Pood. Package, COo nnd $1.00. makes rias tutow aoot) ran htuntiid calves. racseiAN Kkueiiv Co., 8t. Pant, Minn. Ob.ntlkukn; I nave been feeding your PausstaK Stock Pood to ml thoroughbred awlne. It glvea them an appetite, and makes the pigs crow, I also tried It on stunted calves with satisfactory resnlta. a-- UOWKN SBKD STOUK, Coast Agonli Poorly? " For two vesrs I suffered ter ribly from dyipepsla, with great depression, ana wss always teeiing poorly. I then tried Ayer's Sarsa parilla, and In one week I was a new man." John McDonald, Philadelphia, Pa. Don't forget that it's "Ayer's" Sarsaparilla that will make you strong j and hopeful. Don t waste your time and money by trying some other Ainu. Use the old, rested, tried, and iTuc Ayer's Sarsapa rilla. SMI a bottle. Alt nulili. Aik toot doctor what h thlnlu of Aftr'a aaaaansrllls. 1 lei knAwl fill flbnutthl TTin(l Idfimllf me4lfto. Follow hUadflct and J, U. ATIK tO., laOWSU. 911 BUGGIES. Otre better sathfartlon than anythlnfon the markat at anything- like the prlcp. be cause thay are made of K'Kwl material, to stand "Oreaon roads" Iron corners on bodies, brarea on sbalta. heavy second growth wheels, screwed rim, ir you want to feel sure that you are netting your mon-ejr-a worth, ask for "llee Line" or Mitchell"' (Uenney) Buggy. We guar antee them. Mllchmll, Lawlm at Slmrer Co. Seattle, Hpokane, llolse. fortlaod. Or. HtfttYa tnd lhsbat ho, dnlcri ererrw UCT103I ihegtnaJMhaTiimuiij4priconbgUoin IfotU increajt 0 tola tn Wit e4tf 1 Utttsillt,10 Tlr. 1 190 1 HOH,1M ralray 19011,566,720 Pairs. Bittntst Vor Than Doubltf tn Four t$ars. tuit nraiinNfti v. C Dutflu inaaea and aolli more mr-n'i iJX and ' u.M uoi 1 ana anyouirr two man i n in iiw worm. W. I. Doartaa ILOO an4 tlio ilioea placed aida try ride with 1&.00 and $tJ30 abota of other makea. are found to t )utt aa rood. The? will outwear two pain ot ordinary li-co and S3.U ihoea. aVarf of Vim bitt ltathtr$, Including Pattnt Corona Kid, Corona Colt, anil national Kangaroo- Faul Color Xtl4t Mai II at) Blatk Usaki Mat. W.L.DalM f t.OO CI4 I iff tin" ( ft .! 14., BISHOP SCOTT ACADEMY Portland, Oregon. Founded Wi. 1 Horns School for Bays. Military and Manual Training Writs for Illustrated Catalo-ue. ARTHUR C. NUWILL, Principal New Year Resolutions TAKE THE Burt) reltet from liquor, opium and tobacco habits, Send for particulars to Keeley institute a.. iu.t.Hi..i( or.Kn Bought 1ms homo tho sigtm- Signature) of JlS;ie?slI'Ail J SoMbrUDooctaaM fi "" HtnrtMa sirxi lhs.bat ho, dealeri CTerTwEera. I Over 30 Years. MUWIU TfUtT. MCW TO OITT. Tortlaad, Or.,' and Seattle, Wash,