Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (June 7, 1901)
J pWBHMjSE TO pAjCE CHAPTER Vtll.-lContlmicd.i One niorulng nbotlt two Weeks after ward Mury whs in the meadow gathering cowslips for dinner when she heard some one calling her name; and looking up. Rhe saw Jenny hurrying toward her, her snnbonnct hanging down her back, as .usual, nnd her checks Hushed with vlo 'lent exercise. As soon as she came up she began with, "Oh. my, ain't I hot and tired, nnd 1 can't stay a minute, cither, for I ran away, lint I had such good news to tell yon, tlmt I would come. You are going to have a great deal better .home than this. You know where Hlce Corner Is, the district over cast? Mary replied that she did, and Jenny continued: "We all went over there yes "tcrday to sec Mrs. Mason. She's a real ulco lady, who used to live in lloston. .and be Intimate with ma, until three or Xour years ago when Mr. Mason died. We didn't go there nny more then, and I asked Hose what the reason was, and she said Mrs. Mason was poor now, and ma had 'cut her;' and when I asked her what she cut her with, she only laughed, and said she believed I didn't know any thing. But since then I've learned what It means." "What docs It?" asked Mary and Jenny CHAPTEH IX. rcP"ed! . , mm Very different this time 'was Mary's "If a person dies and leaves no money. wUh Mf Kn, fct fn)m what ,t hnd no matter how good his folks are, or ho hf M nd ater much you like them, you mustn t know b h a few naturnI tcarSi and them when you meet them In the street, senJ & hcflrt.s,KU8 t0 the loT. or you must cross over the other side If , 1(ehm) her , , nM you see hem coming; nd then when la- torf dies call and speak about them jou K Q h ,ook mus draw a great, long breathy 0f quiet happiness on her face that even der 'how the poor thhig will get along, Mr? KnI(.htMnoticed . As thcy on she was so dreadfully extravagant. I ' , . . . ,,,' i-m,-,! positively heard mother say those very fancled th co" ntJ?? words about Mrs. Mason; nnd what Is so Planter and the houses better than funny, the washwoman the same day la th resion of ttiHHouH: and vrhen spoke of her. and cried when she told ""Ww turn of the road brought Into how kind she was, and how she would go " hean Iful blue sheet of . without things herself for the sake of giv- bnomti by br ght green hills, her delight ing to the poor " knew no unds. Springing up and point After a moment's pause Jenny proceed- ln townr1 she "claimed: "Oh. please ed: 'This Mrs. Mason came Into the P a "t and look. Isn t It lovely? country and bought the prettiest little 3, cottage you ever saw. She has lots of , Th?,t? Oh. that s nothing but Tor- nice fruit, and for all mother pretends In VoV or as folks most generally Boston that she docs not visit her, Just "11 em. sccjn there s two, North and as soon ns the fruit is ripe she always Sou'h Pond- goes there. Pa says it's real mean, and JIow fa,r e nonJ fr0,ra M- Mn" he should think Mrs. Mason would sec sons-' asked Mary, casting longing through it." glances toward the distant sandy beach "Did you go there for fruit yesterday?" and l',e Rceful trees which drooped asked Mary OTer tho watcr 8 , ,, , , ' .... "It's farther back than 'tis there, 'cause "Oh. no," returned Jenny. "Mother it., u hnl the gaM Mr- KustlU Mid she was tired to death with staying ..but here we bo nt iUaH Mason's-thls at home. Besides that, she heard some- nouge rIght hcref.. and he IK,nteU t0 thing In Boston about a large estate In neat) t,anaSOme cottage, almost hidden England, which possibly would fall to frora xevr j,y tne jcns. f0iage which Mjs. Mason, and she thought it would 1-e surrounded it. "real kind to go and tell her. Mrs. Mason There was a long lawn In front, and has poor health, and while we were there jn(0 tho carriage road jon the right of It she asked mother if she knew of any good Mr. Knight turned, nnd driving up to a little girl she could get to come and live sje door, said to Mary, "Come, Jump with her;- 'one,' she said, 'who could be down, for my foot Is so lame I don't be- qulet when her head ached, and who Heve I'll get out. But there's your chest, would read to her nnd wait on her at You can't lift that. Halloo! Judith, other times.' Mother said she did not come 'ere." know of any, but when , Mrs. Mason In answer to this call a fat, pleasant- went out to get tea, I followed and told looking colored woman appeared in the her of you, and the tears came into her doorway, and as if fresh from the regions lyes when I said your folks were nil dead, of cookdom wiped the drops of perspira- and you were alone and sorry. She said tion from her round, Jolly face, right off that she would come round and "Here, Judith," said Mr. Knight, "help see you soon, and if -she liked you yon this gal lift her traps out." should live with her." j Judith complied, and then bidding old So saying, she ran off; Mary, having Charlotte to "get up," Mr. Knight drove gathered her cowslips, sat down to think of Mrs. Mason, and wonder If she should ever see her. That afternoon, when the dishes were all washed, she, as nsual, stole away to her books. She had not been long occupied ere some one called her, saying Mr. Knight wns downstairs and wanted to see her, and that there was a lady with him. -Mary readily guessed that the lady must be Mrs. Mason, and carefully brush ing her hair and tyjng on a clean apron, she descended to the kitchen, where sho was met by Mr. Knight, who called out. "Hallo! my child, how do you do? 'Pears to me you ve grown handsome. It agrees with you to live here, I reckon, but I'll venture you'll be glad enough to leave and go and live with her, won t youV pointing toward a lady who was Just coming from Mrs. Parker's room nnd to- -tvard whom Mary's heart instantly warm ed. ','You see," continued Mr. Knight, "one of the Lincoln girls has taken a mighty shine to you, and it's queer, too. for they're dreadful stuck-up folks." "If you please, sir," said Mary, Inter rupting him, "Jenny isn't a bit stuck-up." "OmpU!" returned Mr. Knight. "She does not belong to the Lincoln race, then, I guess. I know them, root and branch. Lincoln's wife used to work in the fac tory nt Southbridge, but she's forgot all . about that, and holds her head dreadful ' high whenever she sees me. But that's neither here nor there. This woman wants you to live with her. Miss Mason, this Is Mary. Mary, this Is Miss Mason." The Introduction being thus happily over, Mrs. Mason proceeded to ask Mary a variety of questions, and ended by say ing she thought sho would take her, al though she would rather not have her come for a few days, as she was going to be absent. Miss Grundy was now Inter rogated concerning her knowledge of work, and with quite a consequential air she replied: "Perhaps, ma'am, It looks too much like praising myself, constderin' that I've had the managln' of her mostly, but I must confess that she's lived with me so long, and got my ways so well, that she's aa pleasant n mannered, good tempered child, and will scour as' bright a knife as you could wish to seel" Saturday came at last, and long before the sun peeped over the eastern hills Mary was up and dressed. Just as she was ready to leave her room sho heard Sally singing in a low tone, "Oh, there'll ho mourning mourning mourning mourning; Oh, tbcro'U be mourning when , Mary's gone avfay." . About nine o'clock Mr. Knight drove up alone, Mrs. Mason being sick with nervous headache. "I should, have been hero sooner, snld lie, "but the roads Is awful rough, iiinl old Charlotte lias got n stub or somcthln' in hop foot, lint whero's the gal? Ain't she read?" lie was answered by Maiy herself, who initile her appearance, followed h.v Hilly liearlng the box. Ami uow commenced the lenve takings. Miss Grundy's turn piimlni llrst. "Mny I kiss yon. Miss Grimily" said Mnry. Miss Grundy bent down ami re ceived the child' kiss, nml then darting off Into the pantry, went to skimming nans of milk nlrcndy skimmed. Uncle Peter between times kept ejaculating "Oh. Lord: oh. massy sake! oh. for land."' Hilly knew it would be lonely without Mary, hut he was glad to have hergo to a better home, so lie tried to be cheerful. Aside from him, Sally was the only composed one. It is true her eyes were very bright, and there was a compression ubout her mouth seldom seen, except Just before one of her frenxled attacks. Oc casionally, too, she pressed her hands up on her head, and walking to the sink, bathed it In water, as If to cool its in ward heat. away, leaving Mary standing by the kitchen door. "Come in and sit down," said Judith, pushing a chair toward .Mary with her foot. "It's as hot here as an oven, but I had crambry sass and ginger snaps, and massy knows what, to make this morning and I got belated; but set down and make yourself to home." Mary took the proffered seat, and then Judith left the room for a few moments, saying when she returned that, as Mrs. Mason wns still suffering from a bead ache, she could not see Mary until after dinner. "And," continued Judith, "she toI(i m ,0 entertaIn yolI but j don.t' know h t . do firgt , Just a week to a day before he was to be married, and so I never bad any little girls to talk to. Cnn't you think of some thing to talk about? What have you been used to doing" "Washing dishes," was Mary's reply, "Wall," answered Judith, "I guess you won't have that to do here for one night: when some of the neighbors were in I heard Miss Mason tell 'em that she got you to read to her and wait on her. And then she said something about your not having an equal chance with your sister. You han't but one, now t'other's dead, have you?" Mary replied in the negative, and Ju dith continued: "Wall, uow you've got over the first on't, I reckon you's glad the baby's dead, for she must have been kind of a bother, wasn't she?" Instantly Mary's thoughts flew back to an empty cradle, and again a little golden head was pillowed upon her breast, as often In times past It had been, and as It would never be again. Covering her face with her bands, she sobbed, "Ob, Allle, Allle! I wish she hadn't died!" Judith looked on in amazement, and for want of something better to do placed a fresh stick of wood in the stove, mutter ing to herself, "Now, I never! I might of knew I didn't know what to say. What a pity Harry died. I'll give her that big ginger snap the minute It's baked. See if I don't." Accordingly, when tho snap was done, Judith placed It In Mary's hands, bidding her eat It quick, and then go up and seo the nice chamber Mrs. Mason bad ar ranged for her. "Come," said Judith; and leading the way, sho conducted Mary up the stair rase, aud through a light, airy hall to the door of a small room, which sho opened, Baying, "Look, ain't It pretty?" Mary's heart was too full to speak, and for several minutes she stood silent. With tho exception of her mother's pleasant parlor In old England, she bad never be fore seen anything which seemed to her so cosy and cheerful as did that little room, with Its single bed, snowy counter- tin no. inuslin curtains, clrnn mattlnr. con venlent toilet tabte, and what to her wai fnlrv than all the rest, upon the mantel- tiler there stood two small vases, tilled with sweet llowern, whose fragrance fill ed tho apartment with delicious perfume. All this was so different from the bare walls, uncovered Moors nnd rickety furni ture of tho poorhoiisn that Mary trem bled lest It should prove n tiream rroiu which ore long she would awake. When Mary was lliially sent for by Mrs. Mason she had been so much accus tomed to slek persons that she kuew lit' tultlvely Just what to do nnd wheu to do It, and her step was so light, her Voko so low, and the hand which bathed the aching head so soft and geiitlo In Its touch that Mrs. Mason Involuntarily drew her to her bosom, and kissing her Hps, called her her child, nnd said she should uever leave her; then, laying back In her easy chair, she remnlued perfectly still, while Mary alternately tlxed her hair rnd smoothed her forehead, until sho fc'.l into a quiet slumber, from which alio did not uwnke until Judith rang the bell for mip' per, which was neatly laid out lu n little dining parlor, opening into the llower gar den. There was something so very iiocl.il ii ml checiing lu tho nppearauca of the ri.i'Mi, and the arrangement of tho table, with its glossy white cloth, and dishes of tho same hue. that Mnry felt almost as much like weeping ns sho did on the'u'i.ht n? her arrival at the poorhouse. Uut Mrs. Mason seemed to know exactly how to entertain her; nnd by the time that first tea was over there was hardly a nappler child In the world than wan Mary. Mrs. Mason soon dismissed her to her own room, where she for some time amused herself with watching tho day light as it gradually disappeared from tho hills which Iny beyond the pond. Then when It nil was gone, and tho stars be gan to come out, she turned her eyes toward one which had always seemed to her to be her mother s soul looking down upon her from the windows of heaven. Now to-nfght there shono beside It a smaller, feebler one, and in the tleecy clouds which floated around It she fan cied sho could define the face of her baby sister. Involuntarily stretching out her hands, she cried, "Oh, mother! Allle! I am so happy now;" and to tho child's im agination the stars smiled lovingly upon her, while the evening wind, as It gently moved the boughs of the tall elm trees. seemed like tho rustlo of angels' wlngi. Who shall say the mothers spirit was not there to rejoice with her daughter over the glad future opening so brightly before her? (To be continued.) NO WONDER HE WAS BALKED. Dlfricul ties the Frenchman I'xperl- enced In Lcnrnlnc IS icllah. A Frenchman thirsting for linguistic superiority recently bognn n course of English lessons with a teacher of Inn- guages. After tolling conscientiously through n good many exercises the fol lowing dialogue between tho pupil nnd bin master wns overheard: 1 And the English very dlfllcult." complained the Frenchman. "How do you pronounce t-o-u-g-h?" It Is pronounced 'tuff.' " Eh. bleu, 'tuff;' 'snuff,' thuu, Is spelt s-n-o-u-g-h. Is It not?" 'Oh, no; 'snufT Is spelt s-n-u-ff. As a matter of fact, words ending lu o-u-g-h nre somewhnt Irregular." I see; a superb language! T-o-u-g-h Is 'tuff nnd c-o-u-g-h Is 'cuff.' I huvc a very bad cuff." "No; It rs 'coff,' not 'cuff.' " "Very well: euff, tuff and coff. And d-o-u-g-h Is 'duff cb?" "No, not 'duOY " " 'Doff.' then?" "No; 'dob.' " "Well, then, what about li-o u-g-b?" "That Is pronounced 'hock." " 'Hock! Then I suppose the thing the farmer uses, the p-I-o-u-g-b, Is pluff,' or Is It plilock.' or 'plo?' Fine language 'plo.' " "No, no; It Is pronounced 'plow.' " "I shall soon master English, I am sure. Here wc go. 'Plow, 'coff,' 'tuff,' 'hock,' and now here Is another r-o-u-g-b; that Is 'row,' I suppose?" "Oh, no, my friend; that's 'ruff agnln." "And bo-ug-li Is 'buff?'" "No; that happens to bo 'bow.' " "Yes, wonderful language. And I have Just e-n-o-u-g-b of It; that's 'enou.' Is it not?" "No; 'enuff.' " Sheffield Weekly News. Lady "KoIjk" and Her Trunk. There is a story going around about Lady Roberts, and her trunks, for the truth of which, says the Westminster Gazette, a man returning from South Africa vouches. At the height of the transport difficul ties. Lady Itoberts carried eight large trunks from Cape Town to Illoemfon tcin lu the very teeth of the officers. Everybody wondered, everybody grumbled. No one but Lady Itoberts could have tuken the things through. The transport of stores had been stop ped for the time, the sick lacked every comfort, and those who were not sick were half-starved and only1 half-clad. Therefore, when a fatigue party was told off to fetch those eight trunks from Bloemfonteln station, some rather un complimentary things were said nbout women travelers in general and this latest transgressor in particular. Next day seven of the eight trunks were unpacked, and their contents dis tributed among the soldiers. Tho clever lady had snapped her lingers nt red tape, nnd had smuggled through com forts for tho men. One smnll trunk con tained her personal belongings. ' Sea Fish In Lake Ontario. The deepening of tho St. Lawrence canal system has bad other results than to allow tho passage of ocean going freightage. Following In tho wako of tho vessels sea herrings have mado their appearance In Lalso On tario, nnd are being eagerly captured by tho flshermen. Prellmlnnrr ?tep, "Are you educating your child with a view to his future collego career?" "Ob. yes; he's got to begin next week and take a drop of tabasco sauce three times a day," HERE IS A NEW CLOCK FOR THE TWENTIETH CENTURY. Sainurl P. Thrasher of New Haven, Oaiin., U making nil effort to hnvn llm clock fine that all humanity has been eoiMultlug for centuries changed for one made suitable for the progressive people of the twentieth century. In slating his objections to the present system of telling time Mr. Thrasher points out thill there Is n bewildering. Iiraiii-lrylng iiumSer of figures which art never necessary at oue time for one hour Indications on the face of the clock of to-day, and he further says that some of these figures are right side up while others nre upside down, some repose on their sides, while others are placed at various angles. This, as can be readily seen, creates confusion and often retiders It dllllcull to tell (he exact time at a glance. In Mr. Thrasher's system there are mvor more than four figures shown on the dlnl of the clock at once, aud they so Indicate the tlino that uo mistake U possi ble, and Indlcato It o accurately that vii'uable minutes need never Iw lost. Under many ordinary clrctimstauees a minute over or under time will cause tin great Inconvenience or trouble, but there are tn my conditions when even the loss of n few seconds means the loss of millions of money, or even the wrecking of lives. Mr. Thrasher by his new system has evolved not only a singular time Indication for clocks, hut he has also developed clock mechanism radically different from present practice, which will probably In a short while absorb much of the busi ness in time indicators and become the standard system of the twentieth century. Hy the new clock a child will have nj dllllculty lu telling tho exact time. Wheu the.hour of the old-fashloncd timepiece Is dangling In one direction between VI and VII um the minute hand Is losing itself In another direction somewhero between XI and XII, the new tluiepleee will read simply ami conclusively ll.fW. In another uiluute the last figure magleally disappears and I) takes Its plnre, aud lu sixty more seconds all the figures vanish and lu their place appear ".(). To state the system clearly and tersely, time will he told aa the railroad time table tells it. Ami with the general Introduction of this system would be done nway with such bungling expressions entailed by the old circular dial plate with Its wreath of figures as '.'() minutes past l, 1-1 minutes of 12. Instead we shall adopt the crisp, accurate terminology of the time table, and say nluu twenty, eleven forty-six, etc. HEAD OF ST. LOUIS FAIR. Choice nf Kx-Oovcrnnr Francis I Geiirally Coninienileil. Ex-Gar. David It. Francis hns been chosen President of the fcHilslunn Pur chase Exposition board. The choice of ex-Gor. Francis for this Important position Is generally commended. He enjoys the confidence nnd esteem of the people of St. Iiuls nnd of the Stnte of Missouri, whom he has often served tX-ODV D. II. KIIANCIB. in official capacities. In 1835 be was elected Mayor of St. Louis aud In 1888 was chosen Governor of Missouri, which office ho held for four years. On the retirement of Hoke Smith from President Cleveland's cabinet Sept. 1, 1690, Mr. Francis was appointed Sec retary of the Interior and continued lu office until the cud of Mr. Cleve land's term. Mr. Frauds Is CO years old. Invented tho Trolley. It is claimed for John C. Henry, who died tho other dny lu Denver, that he wns the Inventor of the over head t r o 1 1 o y, which has. rev olutlonlzer urban transportation In the United States and all over the world. It was In Kansas City, lu 188.1. that ho built the llrst ov crhcad electric john a HKNiiv. road. All previ ous efforts had been directed to tho construction of underground roads, which have not proved successful. Among his improvements were tho methods for stringing wires around curves and of managing tho trolley by menus of a rope. Before that time It had been necessary to keep a man on tbo top of each car to handle the trol ley. After perfecting the Kansas City lino bo went to California, where ho Installed several lines, afterwards bo coming the chief export for tho Cen tral Electric Company In New York City. In 1804 his health broke down, and ho wns forced to retire from ac tive work. Within the last few months ho has perfected Inventions which havo been sold for moro than $100,000 nnd ho leaves to his wife and family an ample fortune. Ills Hair Stood on K ml. "Up to Ave years ugo," said a pros pector to a St. Louis Itepubllu re porter, "I didn't believe In such a thing as a roan's hair standing on end;" and then the old gentleman told the story of tbo fright that led him to chuugo bis mind: - J TMl OLD MTtB- I was In tho mountains of Idaho with u friend, nnd we ran short of fresh meat, no onu day 1 took my gnu and started off alone. 1 went Into a ravine and was making my way along a little brook, when 1 came suddenly upon a queer sight. Not four feet lu front of me. In the full blaze of the sun, lay four mmiiitiiln-llims, asleep. For half a minute I thought them dead, but as I stood staring nt them with my heart lu my mouth, every one of them sprang up with a growl. And they faced round at me, looking ugly, sullllng the nlr with their whiskers drawn hack, showing the white Hue of their teeth, switching their talis and looking like demons. As for me, I stood rooted to tho spot. I couldn't ituovc, from shew fright. A queer, numb sensation began In my ankles and crept up my body, mid I lltcrnlly felt my iiair rise. I stood there motionless for several minutes; then one of the liensts dropped his tall and whined. The others fol lowed his exnmple. My presence mys tified them. A few seconds Inter they turned nbout and crept away down the ravine, looking back stealthily two or three times to seo me. When they were out of sight I lie- gau to breathe agnln. I didn't enre to hunt nny more Unit dny, nnd made for the camp at top speed. That was the tlmo my hair stood on end, nnd my scnlp was sore to the touch for n week afterward. Undo Mingo nnd tbo Waller. Uncle Mingo was In town n day or two ago. It had been a long time since tho old man had been In Savannah, nnd he rambled over tho streets all the morning. Impressed with tho wonderful things ho saw, Naturally, toward midday he began to feel a little tired nnd very hungry; so as ho passed lu front of onu of tho eating houses for colored people, of which there arc several In tho neighbor hood of Plant System depot, the succu lent piles of edibles in tho windows offered too great a temptation to bo resisted. He entered the' restaurant and sat down to n tablo. "All right, sah," said the affablo wait er coming up, "wot'll It bo?" "I, want," snld Undo Mingo, unctu ously, "some o' dnt fried llsh ecu do winder on a piece o' dat p!o." "Yes. sah; wot else?" "I want somo o' dnt fried chicken, too, and some o' dem doughnuts." "Yes, sah; wot else?" "I want some o dat hnm and somo town bread." "Yes, sah; wot else?" "An' I want a cup o' tea." "Cup o' tea. Yes, sahj wot kin o tea?" "Wot kin' o' tea I want?" rejoined the old tnnn with n severo look; "wot kin' you speck I want? I want sto' ten; STO' tea. You tlnl; I come: on the train all do way from Possum Holler for to drink snccafrax?" Savannah Nows. Tho doller'H Mlstuko. "Phow!" exclaimed tho wood suw yer, us hp stopped to mop his brow, "but them folks playing golf over there have a mighty hard tlmu of It. They think it Is exercise, hut It's darned hard work." Then ho resumed his sawing opera tions with n sigh of thankfulness that ho hnd such an easy tlmo of It. Boston Transcript. Pootloal. "Did you hear ubout tho poetical way In which tho Hltllets announced tho death of' their pet dog?" "No. How wns It?" "They said; 'Wo regrot to announce that our little Pcrllo lias steered bis jarU for thu other shore.' "Cleveland Plain Dealer. OHAMPION LIAHOF THE WORLD; An 'Aitierlrnii HImiiI tip us a Most Incur rlirih'o Verbid 1.1m r. "Do you know that tho n vertigo A mur icnii In a hopeless nnd liicorrlgllilii mid imiultlgiited llnr?" said it oynlo of llnr si rent, In Now Orleans, "L don't mean ho lies viciously, hut stiavo meti Ini'lty glides off tho cud of his tmigtm is citidly us iiiotitMHcs IIowh from a iplgot on n warm dny In summer, Ho lues It tllli'iiiiNclnusly, habitually, uuto uiiitk'iilly Just as his lungs expand anil Ills heart palpitates nnd his luilr grows, without any speclnl utteiitlim from tho rest of his system. Ho does It be cause ho eati't help ft. 'i'lui thing bus lieciiiiio a second mitiiio, "I hnd all (his brought homo to mo," continued thi nmntmir cynic, "by it very simple little experiment which I tried on myself and a fov others no longer ago limn yesterday uturntug. Did you ever see a pocket counting urn I'hltio? Well, It's a llttlo tlevlco shaped like a which, Whenever you press llm stem (ho needle on the dinl Jumps u point, and It registers lu that way tttto several thousand on tho principle of a cyclometer. They tiro used by any body making long counts and nre very htinily, because they never forget where they leave off, "Hut, lo couio to tlin pottit, something happened (o remind mo of our national vice of untruthfulness ns I wns getting up yesterday, anil I determined to keep lab mi myself nnd nseertnlu, If possi ble, how many net mil, out nnd out licit I put Into circulation In tho course of the day, I chanced to have nun of tho little counting mitrliltics I hnvo Just mentioned, so I slipped It Into my pocket ami started out. "The llrst lie I told was right nt tho door. Kmlthsoii wax passing nnd stop ped to shake hands. 'Hello, old iniiut' said I. 'Delighted to sii you,' when as n matter of fact I wns deuced sorry to sen him, because I owe blui ten. I gave thu countep n squcczo and hur ried on, but before I got to tho olllco I bad Jogged It nine times. "What did I Jog It for. did you nsk? fib. trivialities, mere trivialities, but at the same tlmo point blank lies, every onu of 'em. Whenever I opened my mouth out dropped somo confounded hyperbole. I told Jones the Joke ho Insisted In springing on me wns tho 'best I over heard' and then mado a double tally In assuring bis wife sho wns looking remarkably well when sho was looking exnrtly llko n aenrerrow. 1 told another friend I never laughed so much lu my life ns I hnd nt some thing or other, I don't rememlier now what, nnd still another that I hndn't slept n wink for three nights when I had neuralgia lately all lies, bald Ilea, In splto of their bnrmlessness. "When I reached the olllco and looked nt tho dial. I wns horrified. 'Good heavens!' I snld to myself. 'It seems lo bo physically Impossible for mo to speak tho plain truth In tho. paltriest matters. I'll Just remain perfectly quiet for hnlf an hour and keep check on Hoggs.' "Hoggs Is our head-lmokkeepcr nnd n pillar In one nf tho suburban churches. I had supposed him In bo the quintessence of cnst-Iron veracity, but when I snt down In cold blood to put him on record I was astonished nt llm blase fashion with which ho frl roled with tho truth. I pushed tho button on him 15 times In -7 minutes; then ho got Into n whispered conversa tion with n caller, and I Inst the thread of his remarks. Hut I nm certain If I hnd been In hearing tho counter would have had hnrd work keeping up with the procession." I'nylng null Giving. There Is nu Interesting story associ ated with the crent Cardinal Itorromeo. who was noted for his charities to tho poor. Cardinal Gliulo hnd shown to I him tho vast palace which ho had Just finished. When he was departing. Itor romeo, who had been silent whllo In- sneet nir the bu Id nir. said: "Your eminence, I havo been rollectlng Hint tho lingo sums spent on this pntneo might havo been given to tho poor." "Your eminence," replied uluiio, "they havo been nil given to the poor; but our notions of charity differ, I pny the poor for their labor, and your emliicncu for their Idleness." Tho retilr. uttered more than four V hundred years ago, is now tho rule of Intelligent nhlhiiithroiilstn. who would help tho poor to help themselves, nnd restrain them from becoming paupers. Youth's Companion. Tbo Apron of an Empress. Tho German Empress Is not at all extravagant In tho matter of dress, but sho possesses a wonderful selection of aprons. When, not many months ago, a committee of ladles presented her with a whito satin one, with tho nnmcH of her flvo sons embroidered lu gold, tho Empress graciously thanked tho donors, explaining, "My husband likes mo to wear an apron; ho says It looks nlco nnd homely." Tho young princes wero delighted with this gift, for, ns ono of them remarked, "Mother cannot well forget us when alio carries our names on hor npron." Tlio Caller's Inference. "Is Mrs. Mullliratnwncv In?" nnbml tho caller, presenting hor card to tbo doormald. "No, ma'am." . "When will sho bo in?" "I can't tell, ma'nm." "She told VOU not to. I siinnnon" Plttsburg Chronlclo-Tclegraph. It has been said that brliitnnr nn,i Impulslvo peoplo usually havo black eyes-or If tlioy don't havo thorn thoy nro npt to get thorn If thoy nro too Im pulsive. It's difficult to convlnno (1m rnrnnvrtr) who foots tho bills of Congress that talk Is cheap.