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About Cottage Grove sentinel. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1909-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 18, 2021)
Cottage Grove Sentinel Community B1 THURSDAY | FEBRUARY 18, 2021 Humor at the Speed of Life Pet Tips ‘n’ Tales James Kazad — (Remembrances of life before COVID) By Mary Ellen “Angel Scribe” Professional fishing parrot Your home’s underbelly is no place to be manly T here comes a time in every man’s life when he must set an example for his son by crawling under the house to fix something. This must be done with apparent fearless- ness even though he knows whatever needs fixing is going to be located in the darkest corner of the home’s underbelly, probably behind a spider web the size of a commercial fishing net. Several years ago, I used ply- wood to seal up the underside of our home and stop what I suspected were nightly “rave” parties hosted by our cat. These parties generally start- ed around 11:30 p.m. and were held directly beneath our bed- room floor, where it sounded like 20 cats playing Twister. Naturally, I had no choice but to break up these parties by getting out of bed and shoving our 60-lb. Labrador headfirst through the crawl space in our closet floor. My point is this: Sealing things up stopped the cat par- ties. Unfortunately, it also turned the crawl space under our home into a frightening black void where, thanks to evolution, a species of hairy, sightless, spider-like rodents with large fangs and the abil- ity to mobilize telepathically has nested, colonizing into the hundreds. Possibly even thousands. I know this because I’ve shined a flashlight down there and — this is not an exagger- ation — I’m pretty sure I saw something move. It was this thought (along Koko travels on her parents’ fishing boat as far away as Hawaii and the International Dateline. with how I might turn a bu- tane lighter and a can of my wife’s hair spray into a flame thrower) that came to mind last weekend as my son and I stared into the dark opening of our crawl space. “Is Mom making you go down there?” “Of course not,” I said. “As man of the house, it’s my duty to do things no one else wants to do.” My son thought about this a minute. “But Mom tells you what those things are, right?” “Pretty much,” I said, then dangled my feet over the open- ing. “What are you going to DO down there?” I explained that one of our bathroom outlets wasn’t work- ing, and I thought it was be- cause something had chewed through a wire. “What chewed through it?” Even at age 12, my son wasn’t ready for the truth, which was that hordes of slobber- ing, milky-eyed creatures were waiting in the dark, excreting a web-like substance from their bulbous posteriors and com- municating with each other telepathically that a 180-lb. Happy Meal was about to be served. So, to preserve my son’s in- nocence, I made something up. “Probably a squirrel did it,” I said. His expression relaxed as he handed me the flashlight, then offered a final piece of advice. “If a squirrel lets you pet him, he probably has rabies.” “Good tip,” I said and eased down into the crawl space. Moving on my hands and knees toward our bathroom, it wasn’t long before I had passed the point of no return. This, of course, is when my flashlight decided to blink out. Throttling it with both hands, I shook it back to life just long enough to illuminate the area above me — including a dead squirrel dangling from an elec- trical wire by its teeth. Sure, in retrospect, attempt- ing to defuse the situation by screaming uncontrollably may not have been the “manly” thing to do. However, I credit that mind-numbing howl with scaring off the spider-rodent creatures long enough for me to dislodge the squirrel and re- pair the exposed wire. Unfortunately, in all the commotion, I also dropped my wife’s hair spray — which means I’ll have to go back. But only if she makes me... Support for students, parents available through online program The COVID-19 pandemic has impacted students’ mental well-being in numerous ways. Prolonged school closure and online learning pose some chal- lenges for students such as loss of in-person connection, Zoom fatigue, lack of access to stable internet connection. Further, these transitions have presented parents with new challenges as they interact with and support their children. Center for Community Coun- seling will be offering support groups to help elementary stu- dents with mindfulness-based coping skills for online learning, as well as mindfulness-based support groups for parents who desire to strengthen their skills in supporting their children during this time. If you’re a student or parent who is interested in these ser- vices, call 541-344-0620 for more information. Groups on a sliding scale fee with scholarships available. Rolling start dates through February. Group format will be online, with limited spots for in-person groups. LORANE COUNTRY NEWS Contributed by Lil Thompson for The Sentinel • Several have re- ceived the latest Terri- torial Rd Update from Becky Taylor. For those who ha- ven’t, plans are to re- sume construction on Stoney Point in May and finish that area by summer. Plans for the next phase have been de- layed until sufficient funding is available. They will keep us up- dated. • Lorane Grange hopes to meet again on Thursday, March 4, at 7 p.m. Fundraisers for the grange are on hold for now until our coun- ty COVID-19 numbers are down. • Applegate Elemen- tary appears to be run- ning smoothly. The Crow High Scool volleyball and cross country teams plan to start practice on Feb. 22. All athletes need to have physicals and pa- perwork turned into the office prior to that. For more informa- tion, call the Crow High School office at 541- 935-2227. • Work on CG Lorane Rd is delayed for a short while. Still watch out along that area. Please everyone: With this rain, slow down especially on the corners. Speak your peace. Write a Letter to the Editor today. Email Editor@CGSentinel.com F ew four-pound, African Grey parrots have trav- eled as far as 23-year-old Koko — especially on an open sea. Koko sails on her parents, Judy and Harvey’s, 74 ft. albacore tuna fishing boat, up to two months at a time. The couple drags 12 fishing lines catching tasty young tuna close to the ocean’s surface. When a fish grabs a line, it rings a bell and Koko yells, “Fish on.” The boat’s hull has freezers and the fish are canned at their Wild Pacific Seafood cannery and sold online. “Koko loves her life on the wild side,” said Judy. “On deck, her cage is surrounded by wind-protecting plexiglass, but inside the cabin she roams freely until she puts herself to bed in her ‘bedroom’ cage.” For some, parrots can be annoying. Koko is con- stantly chattering, asking questions or tossing knick- knacks onto the floor. One day, she asked, ‘What is that?’ Judy kept pointing and naming items and Koko kept asking until Judy named the wastebasket. Koko also asks, “What are you doing?” over and over until she is answered. Their bird perfectly mimics their cell phone, micro- wave and smoke alarm. Once on the boat, the engine alarm sounded. “She perfectly mimics our cell phone, microwave, and smoke alarm,” said Judy. “Once on the boat, the engine alarm sounded. Harvey, in a pan- ic, ran down to the engine room. He saw no problems. He climbed back up to the wheelhouse. The alarm sounded again. He took off running again. After the third alarm trip, he realized it was Koko. At home, it’s the smoke alarm. No one can tell the difference be- tween Koko and the real article.” Once, Koko yelled in a panic, “What are you do- ing?! What are you doing?!” Judy ran to her and Koko was looking out the win- dow into the field where a man was shearing sheep. “The man was holding a sheep and Koko kept yell- ing at him. I told Koko ‘Sheep getting bath,’” said Judy. “She understands bath and so stopped yelling and just watched, but you could see she was still concerned, but quiet.” Quiet never lasts long with Koko. She bangs two drinking cups together and makes “music.” She also recognizes birds on YouTube and mimics their move- ments. “It is obvious that pets can recognized TV images, because she and our dog clearly do,” Judy said. When the two adopted a puppy, Koko made it clear from the start that she is not into dogs — so they ig- nore each other. But Koko created a dog joke, asking “What does dog say?” Then answers herself: “Tweet, Tweet. No, woof, woof ” and then giggles. Koko sits in her cage while docked so she’s eye lev- el with the fishermen and tourists. She gets a big re- sponse with her sense of humor, especially when she wolf whistles at people. They laughed and commented so she keeps it up. “Our fisher friends all know her and we walk her into town,” said Judy. “One day we went without her and store clerks did not recognize us.” On one walk, Koko flew off and into a treetop. The couple could not see her. “Thankfully, we play, ‘Peekaboo’ with her and she answers back — so we called until she gave her po- sition away, responding, ‘Peekaboo,’” Judy said. “She would not come down, so the next morning we car- ried our breakfast to the tree. She insists on eating with us, and what we do, so she flew down to join us. “She’s also invented a new term for eating Cheerios with milk and says, ‘Mmmm. Drink of cracker.’” The couple gave Koko a gender neutral name be- cause her gender was a mystery until at the age of sev- en, when she laid an egg. In 23 years, Koko has laid a total of three eggs. Once on land, Koko freely roams and flies around the house — at night, putting herself to bed. Tell us about your pet! Write: angelscribe@msn.com
