The Daily Astorian., October 28, 1877, Image 7

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Josh Billings' Philosophy.
THE HORSE.
Next to the cow, I konsider the horse
; the kindest and most raluable ov all the
animal gifts to man.
They are ov all colors, shapes, sizes,
tempers, and capasitys, from the lean and
lithe built Arabian, to the solid and
sturdy Suffolk Punch.
The horse iz the fasstest animal on the
footstool, for enny distance, and probably
the most easy one to domestikate.
The valuable karackteristiks ,ov the
horse are bone, muscle, formashun,
temper, courage, and the adaptashun ov
muscle to his formashun.
There is probably az much real differ
ence in the value ov horses as ov enny
other ov the animals, and thare iz none
who has so menny good, and in other
cases, so menny bad qualitys.
I kno ov no animal that has more de
cepshun in their appearances, none who
look so good, and yet are really so worth
less, none who look so worthless, and yet
are so really good.
The best road horse I knu, one who
could go over a country road enny day
in the month ov June, drawing a heavy
two wheeled shay, one hundred miles,
between sunrise and sunset, and next
day return, would not bring seventy-five
dollars, at any publik sale, whare she
vaz not known.
This animal had not one single
evidence in her looks, that she waz az
good a roadster az ever waz raised in Nu
England.
On all dumb brutes, the horse haz suf
fered the most at the hands ov man, and
still haz all wuss been hiz most usephull
and obedient servant.
Thare iz no kind ov abuse, no kind ov
hard usage, no kind ov neglect, no kind
ov lameness and distress, but what this
noble kreature haz had imposed upon
him bi hiz unfeeling masters.
No horse should be broken to harness,
or saddle, until the spring they are com
ing four years old, and during their
fourth year. Should never be called
upon to use one half their strength.
But the anexiety to develope speed is
so great, that three, and even two year
old colts, are put to their utmost powers.
This fills the country with broken down
and disseazed horses, who have scarcely
lived to be six years old.
Thare are but fu positively worthless
horses, unless made so bi the cruelty ov
man, but ov all the vast numbers ov
them, thare iz not more than one out ov
five that iz passable, and not more than
one out ov ten that iz desirable.
I hav owned at least five hundred dif
ferent horses in mi life, "and can't now
recall but three in the whole lot but
what I could hav duplikated at enny
time at a country fair, or from among
the farmers, in enny of our farming dis
trikts. Perhaps thare Jiaz boen no improve
ment in the horse that haz been developed
so sistematikally and so rapidly az hiz
trotting speed.
During the past 30 years, the. horse
haz trotted down from three minutes to
two minnitts and fourteen or fifteen
seckonds.
Twenty-five years ago, I waz told by
John Case, an old trotting expert, who
was cotemperary with Hiram "Woodruff,
that the time would come when horses
would trot a mile in two minnitts.
At the time I waz told this by John
Case he waz driving Lady Moscow, who
waz then as fast az enny horse, but could
not beat two minnitts and thirty-six
seckonds.
This makes John Case's provecy look
allmost like a matter ov good judge
ment. The trotters have allready got within
haff a minnitt ov the average rase-horse
time. This shows grate skill in manage
ment. We see menny viscious things among
the horses, but with few excepshuns theze
kan all be charge either to the stupidity
or malice in their masters.
The terrible kruelty ov man to theze
pashunt, dareing, noble kreatures, is one
of the meanest traits in hiz karakter.
The horse haz figured more in the high
est order ov proze and song, since the
days ov Job until now, than enny and
perhaps all the brute species, and the
domestik relashuns between the Arab aud
his thorobred are nursery tales taught to
children, and admired bi everyboddy.
Thare certainly iz no finer specimen
amung the animals than a perfekt horse,
none that challenges more admirashun,
none that seems to kno hiz power, and
expresses hiz pride better, and most cer
tainly none that inspires hiz master to so
grate a degree with hiz own tiurrage and
' generous spirit.
The viscious habits which horses ac
quire are the most diffikult things possi
ble to break them ov; this shows the
grate sussecptibility ov their natures. I
never knu a horse who had odce run
away, or ever been thoroly frightened at
. ennything, to outgrow it. Once a run
away, allways a runaway, iz proverbial
in horse parlance.
I hav owned several runaways. I
owned them bekauze sumboddy else
wanted I should, not bekauze I wanted
to own them miself, for I would not
own one knowingly, at the price ov one
dollar, however elegant he mite be, and
use him for a family horse.
A horsev luvs to run, they luv to kon
tend in av race, they luv to chase the
hounds, and they luv to rush into battle
and abuv all, they do enjoy running away
-with the fragments ov a fine waggon or
carriage hitched to them.
An old runaway horse, after he haz
had hiz run out, and dun all the damage
he kan do, iz az cool az a cowcumber.and
iz reddy to go into hiz stall aad eat a peck
ov oats, or be hitched up agin to another
vekikal, and move off az sedate az a
deakon.
I am not aware that color iz ov enny
very vital importanse in selekting a
horse, we see good ones and very indiffer
ent ones,ov all colors. Ahorse who stands
fifteen hands and three inches high, who
iz a brite blood bay, with coal black
points, haz'a full tail that allmost tutches
the ground az he stands, not too heavy a
mane, nor foretop, a long, lean nek, and
heci, a small muzzle, wide between the
eyes, and eyes a liquid hazel, long, sharp
ears, short bak, short from the knee to
the ground, long from the knee to the
top ov the withers; sharp, thin shoul
ders, well-slctped bak, not too wide in
the breast, .full and well raized loin,
broad and powerful quarters, open uos
trils, flatt legs, with the least bit of flesh
on them possible, short and uprite pas
tern, a deep and small foot, blak hooft,
round in the ribs, not too mutch ackshun
at the knee, feet well under him when he
stands, good courage, six years old, and
weighing not to exceed twelve hundred
pounds sutch a horse az this, if he haz
got a first-rate walk, will do to buy if
the price iz all rite.
A Lively Patient.
"The sick man of Europe" has, for
years back, been a phrase applied with a
touch of jocularity aud a dash of con
tempt to the Turk; and in this role the
turbaned infidel is just now showing him
self a marvelously active, dangerous, and
resolute patient. So slow and lethargic
were his movements at the outbreak of
the present struggle, and so unchecked
the liberty of advance he allowed to his
colossal foe, that all the diplomatic and
other wiseacres exclaimed "I told you
so; the old barbarian will, at most, show
a final spasm of frantic violence just be
fore crossing the Styx or the Bosphorus."
But with a change of doctors or rather
of generals this moribund specimen of
anachronism has grown wonderfully live
ly, and besides warding off successfully
nearly ail the lunges of his gigantic an
tagonist, has managed to plant some
pretty stinging blows on his unwieldy
body. Of course, if the struggle is al
lowed to continue, size, weight, and
northern persistence must triumph in the
long run', but the Turk has already re
lieved Europe from an incubus of dread
owing to its extravagant estimate of Mus
covite power, greatly raised the opinion
of the world with regard to his own man
hood, and even 'in his decadence proved
himself the lineal descendant of that
belligerent race before whose thundering
march all Europe, a couple of centuries
ago, trembled. Rural New Yorker.
Benefit of a Nap. To the busy wife
and mother,who has a multitude of duties
to perform every day of her life, a short
nap in the middle of the day is invalu
able. -Drop all care, steal away, just for
a little while, and Tgive the weary muscles
and brain, and perhaps the unstrung
nerves, a rest. Rest! the very thought of
it is comfortable! How it does lighten
cares and facilitate the duties of the after
noon! How much more easily, we can
carry the burdens that seem to accumu
late as the day declines 1 The little ones
are returning from school to a mother's
attention. A dozen things must be at
tended to before nightfall. How fresh
we feel, and how willing to complete the
routine of the day's duties! Do
not say you cannot spare the
time, for you are gaining time
by it. Yoirwill surely last longer. You
will be spared longer to the loved ones
around you, if you only spare yourself.
They will need your care for many years
yet, and to this end you must be econom
ical of your health and strength. Lay
in store sufficient vim by a daily sleep to
balance daily waste, and so keep up the
average. A nice little nap is so refresh
ing! It recuperates the exhausted ener
gies, and the lasthalf of the day's duties
are as pleasant as the first.
Home Conversation. Children hun
ger perpetually for new ideas. They will
learn with pleasure from the lips of pa
rents what they deem it drudgery to
study in books; and even if they have
the misfortune to be deprived of many
educational advantages, they will grow
up intelligent if they enjoy in childhood
the privilege of listening daily to the
conversation of intelligent people. "We
sometimes see parents, who are the life of
every company which they enter, dull,
silent and uninteresting at home among
their children. If they have not mental
activity and mental stores sufficient for
both, let them first use what they have
for their own households. A silent home
is a dull place for young people, a place
from which they will escape if they can.
How much useful information, on the
other hand, is often given in pleasant
family conversation, and what uncon
scious but excellent mental train
ing in lively social argument. Cultivate
to the utmost the graces of home conver
sation. St. Paul speaks of his visit to the
third heaven, and Mahomet makes out
seven. The first is of silver, the second
of gold, the third of precious stones, in
which there is an angel so large that it
is 70,000 days' journey between his hands;
the fourth heaven is of emerald, the fifth
of crystal, the sixth like fire, and the
seventh is a delicious garden, with foun
tains of milk, honey and wine, and with
apples whose kernels turn into the most
lovely females; and it is guarded by
angels, one of vast size, with a cow's
head, and another with seventy mouths,
each speaking seventy languages.
0 m m
A young lady in town who does not
pride herself particularly on being a po
litical economist, thinks the sooner green
backs reach "pa,"the sooner she will be
able to invest in a new fall bonnet. Rut
land Herald,
A Parisian Story.
Lately a traveler passed in a carriage J
along tne avenue uu .neuiiiy, iue uui,
was dark; all at once the horses stopped,
and the traveler saw the animals had aet
an obstacle. At the same moment a man
raised himself before the horses and ut
tered a cry.
"Why don't you take care," said the
traveler.
"Ah," cried the man, "you Tvould do
better, instead of hallooing, to lend me
your lantern."
"What for?"
WI had three hundred francs of gold on
my person; my pocket ha broken, and
all is falling in the street. It is a com
mission with which my master has en
trusted me. If I do not find the money
I am a ruined man."
"It is not easy to find pieces on such a
night; have you none left?"
"Yes, I have one."
"Give it to me."
The man hesitated.
"Give it to me; it will be the means of
recovering the others."
The poor fellow gave him his last coin.
The traveler whistled; a beautiful Danish
dog began to play around him.
"Here," said the traveler, putting, the
coin to the nose of the dog. "Look."
Tne intelligent creature sniffed a mo
ment at the money and then began to run
the road. Every minute he returned,
leaping, and deposited in the hand of his
master a Napoleon. In about twenty
minutes the whole sum was recovered.
The poor fallow, who had got his money
back, turned, full of thanks, toward the
traveler, who had now got into his car
riage. "Ah, you are my preserver," said he;
"tell me at least your name."
"I have done nothing," said the trav
eler. "Your preserver is my dog; his
name is Rabat Joel;" aud then whipping
his horses, he disappeared in the dark
ness. A female singer, who was in high fa
vor with a German prince, had to sing one
of Haydn's compositions. At the re
hearsal she and the conductor differed as
to the time In which it should be sung.
It was agreed that the composer should
be referred to; who, when the conductor
waited on him, asked if the lady was
handsome. "Very," was the reply ; "and
a special favorite with the duke." "Then
she is right," said Hadyn, with a signifi
cant look at the poor disconcerted pro
fessor, who, in all probability, had he
gained his point, would have lost his
place, and this Hadyn well knew.
mm -
A grave magistrate was sitting at the
table between two coxcombs, who took
it into their heads to attempt making
him the butt of their ridicule. "Gen
tlemen,".said he, "I plainly perceive
your design; but to save unnecessary
trouble I must beg leave to give you a
just idea ot my character. Be it known
to you that I am not precisely a fool, nor
altogether a knave, but (as you see) some
thing between both."
Michigan is assessed at 630,000,000.
Boot and Shoe Trade.
A PROMINENT MANUFACTURING AND IMPORT
ING FIRM.
The almost unprecedented growth and de
velopment of ban Jjrancieco's trade and man
ufactures have attracted the attention of all
persons who watch with admiring eye and
unanated interest tue good of tne common
weal; but how much more has it interested
us who have individualized the major part
ui uiese enterprises, wniie uiey nave only
known the aggregate and noted them as a
whole. It beiner the purpose of this journal
to state truthfully and concisely the exact
condition or tins city's enterprises, their
number and extent, it is with feelings of ad
miration we note the large and growing trade
in Boots and Shoes. This business, like all
other ones, has been developed surprisingly
within" the past few years, calling to its aid
machinery thai moves and acts with almost
human knowledge, and which performs the
labor of many men. Let us contrast the
modern process to the old way, where every
man, woman and child had to leave his or
her measure at the cobbler's, and wait at the
lowest estimation a week for the completion
of the work. Now, at any country store, a
lit can be guaranteed for lady, gentleman or
child, and of any quality, from 'stoga' to ex
tra line.
In our city retail stores ma' be found a
full assortment of all kinds, wherein the cus
tomer can be suited, however fastidious, in
quality, style and price. The whelesale es
tablishments, from which the retail stores in
cit3T and country draw their supplies, form
some of the most important business houses
in this city. As a sample house of this kind,
dealing strictly wholesale in Fine Calf Boots
and Shoes, for men, boys, youth and children,
is the old and well known firm of
C. & P. II. Tirrell & Co.,
No. 419 Cla street They are manufacturers
and importers of the above line of merchan
dise, and as such have been known in Sun
Francisco for the past sixteen years. Their
manufactory is located at South Weymouth,
Mass. The factory is a large one aud con
tains the most modern improved labor-saving
machinery, employing in addition from
200 to 250 people. As may be expected, do
ing such a manufacturing business, their
wholesale trade here is one of great magni
tude, and reaches all parts of the Pacific
Coast; lfardly a hamlet, village or town, but
what has dealt with the Messrs. C. fc P. H.
Tirrell & Co. It may be remarked, in this
connection, that the California trade requires
a better class of boots and shoes than the
general trade of the east.
We paid a visit to the wholesale house of
this firm a few days ago, and found a large
establishment, containing an equally large
stock of men's, boys', youth's and children's
boots and shoes. While their specialty is the
finer grades, they make all sizes and quali
ties at the lowest market prices. The mem
bers of the firm are Henry Edwards, San
Francisco; C. Tirrell, South Weymouth,
Mass.; and P. H. Tirrell, Boston, Mass.
We are under obligation to Mr. H.Edwards
for information, who is the reprebentative of
the San Francisco House. Further comment
on this establishment is needless, so well is
it known, not only for the universal high
quality and excellence of their goods, butfor
business probity and accommodation; and
if what we have said shall fulfil our duty as a
chronicler of San Francisco's enterprises, we
have only done our duty. S. F. Commercial.
Good Pay and Light
155 GOX.S COUNT
JL35TJD
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BY THE SAN
WEEKLY CHRONICLE!
And the enormous circulation the CHRONICLE has
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PEOPLE'S PAPER.
The Proprietors have determined, if possible, to
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thePaeiflcCoaet.
The exclusive advantages it has already obtained
by indomitable persovrence have excited the envy of
competitors and Rained unbounded praise from the
world at large. Ab an incentive to many persouB who
have a prreat deal of IDLE TIMEto occupy themselves,
profitably, we offer the following valuable Premiums,
and expect by this meanB to gain their energetic co
operation. , ,
The WEEKLY CHRONICLE makes a specialty of
giving complete and reliable MARKET REPORTS,
and also contnlnR a hltrhly valuable and interesting
AGRICULTURAL DEPARTMENT.
There Is no limit to the number of Prizes anyone
person may receive. Nothing more Is required than
to get up the different Clubs specified in the list, and
the ENTIRE LIST OF PRIZES will be forwarded to
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$5000 a Year
Can be made In this manner, as tne Prizes can be
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as a Present or Premium will be new and fresh from
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In. Iilcn of the Valuable Premiums.
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Immediately. A number of neighbors can get up a
Club amongst themselves; each one will get the paper
and they can draw lots as to who will have the pre
mium. The wonderful and liberal list or Premiums we offer.
You will find articles both Useful, Beautiful and
De8Irahi,e in xvkkvhody, and they cost nothing
but a little of your idle time in doing a service to your
neighbors by procuring them a nrst-class Family
Newspaper and valuable premium for yourself.
Fok Example. Suppose, in looking over our list,
you should desire a Centennial Seven-Shot Revolver,
a Lady's Riding Whip or a Silvered Wire Breakfast
Caster, or something els-e of that value, all you have
to do Is to forward the names of yourself and two
others, and the desired article will be given free.
Axy Person oettincj w a
Club of 3
Subscribers for the Weekly Chkon icle at $2 25 per
year (Inclinllntr postage), will receive any one of the
following Premiums, the selection left to the winner:
A Premium of $1 50 in Coin.
A Centennial seven-shot Revolver, blued steel, 22
bore. Valued at $4.
A lady's Riding Whip, nlckle-plated. Valued at
2 50.
A choice of any one of the following standard au
thors' books, elegantly bound in cloth, illuminated
covers, 16me: Byron, Burns, Goldsmith, Shakes
peare, Moore, Cowpcr, and the British Dramatists.
Valued at $2.
A Base Ball Club Outfit of two Bats and a Regula
tion Ball. Valued at 2 7.1.
A Gold Pen, Pearl Holder. Valued at $2 50.
A Silver Wired Breakfast Caster, three Crystal Bot Bet
tles: very i eat and pretty. Valucl at $2 50.
A four-bladed I X L Pocket Knife Valued at $2 50.
A pair of Fancy Ornamental Parlor Metallic Cus
adorcs. Valued at $2 50.
A small Famllv SCALE, with Tin Scoop. Weighs
4 tts. Valued at $3.
A BOY'S ASH WAGON. Valued a' $1 75.
A LADY'S FANCY WORK BOX. with looking
glass, scissors, etc. Valued at $2.
A BUREAU SET a collar, handkerchief and a
glove box. Valued at $2 50.
A CONCERTINA, with 20 keys. Valned at $3.
IMPROVED TABLE OR PARLOR CROQUET.
Only 3 subscribers will get this free. Valned at ?
AHEAD
0FALLCOMPTlT0HSt
EXHIBITION. 1876.
PIANOS
'
AWARDED. PHILADELPHIA. 1876.
USED IN THE PUB UC SCHOOLS
OF BOSTON AND PRONOUNCED
HENRY F. MILLER,
fcJU STOW.
SEND FOR CATALOGUE.
To WOODWORTH, SCHEUL & CO.
Sole Agents,
Masonic Temple, - - No. 12 Post Stkekt,
SAN FRANCISCO.
52?" Sold on Easy Installments, jp
AGENTS WAJTTMI!
TO SOLICIT PICTURES
FOB
Copying, Enlarging and Retouching.
BTTie oest worK and highest commissions gives
on this coast. Address "COPYIXfc.,"Room71,
No. 12 1 Htter street; San Francisco.
WiiifypiiPiy w
Work in Odd Hours.
OTHEB
Given Free
FRANCISCO
Backgammon and Checker Board, with checkers,
dice and box, all complete. Valued at $1 75.
A eet-of hone Chessmen, carved. Valued at $2 50.
Crandall'g Acrobats, a most attractive, amusing and
wonderful toy. Valued at $1 5.
For a Club of 6
Subscribers to the Weekly Ciikoktcle at 2 50 per
year, we will present to the getter-up of the Club any
one of the following premiums:
A Premium of $3 50 in Coin.
A copy of any one of the following STANDARD
AUTHORS' WORKS, elegantly bound In Svo. cloth,
halfRoxburv, gilt tap : Shakespeare, Byron, Moore,
Burns. Goldsmith and the British Dramatists. Val
ued at $3.
An Empire POCKET REVOLVER, seven shots.
Valued at $5.
"Fishing in American Waters," by Scott. Valued
at $3 50
A VIOLIN and BOW. Valued at $5.
A GUITAR, S5 50
Ladles' WRITING DESK. Valued at 14 50.
An ACCORDEON. or a Twenty-keyed CONCER'
TINA. Valued at 3.
A Cabinet PHOTOGRAPH ALBUM. Valued at $5.
A MEERSCHAUM PIPE. Valued at $4.
A set of CROQUET. Valnei at S3.
The Novelty LAWN MOWER. Valued at $5.
The American Kennel and Sporting Field, by Bnr
gets, illustrated. Valued at ft.
Forrester's BOOK entitled "American Game." Val
ued at $3.
A Lady's RIDING WHIP. Valued at 5 50.
A Parkhurst FAMILY" SCALE, with Scoop, weigh
6 pounds. Valued at ?3.
A silver-plated PICKEL STAND. Valned at $4.
A silver-plated Breakfast CASTER. Valned at Si.
A silver-plated Dinner CASTER, five bottles. Valued
atfi 50.
A silver-plated CAKE BASKET or a crvstal and
sitver-plated BERRY DISH. Valued at !o 50.
For a Club of 300
At $2 25 per year:
An elczant SQUARE PIANO, an UPRIGHT or
COTTAGE PIANO. Valued at 37X. or 375 In Coin.
Art extra fine PIANO-BOX BUGGY, silver-plated
mountings, a perfect gem. Valued at 4375, or 375
in Coin.
For a Club of 250
Subscribers to the -Wekkly Chronicle at $2 25 n
year apiece, we w.H present the getter-up of the Club
any one ot the following premiums:
A Lady's CANOPIED TOP PHAETON. Valued at
$30O, or $300 in Coin.
Gold Chronomeler Ladv's or Gentleman's Watch.
Valued at S300, or SC0 in Coin.
22TFor I.iKt of Premium for CIuIim
fi-om fl to 2.70 Subscriber Semi i'or de
scriptive Circulars.
There are few places on the Pacific Coast where
there are not from flvp to fifty persons that wuiild de
rive pleasure and profit from reading the Weekly
Chronicle, and would glndly subscribe for It If some
one would draw their attention to It and receive an?
forward their name?. The person who takes the
trouble to form a Club will be liberally paid In receiv
ing one of the handsome premiums.
BEGItf TO-DAY
To make up your Clubs. Every teacher, clergyman,
merchant and housewife will find something or value
to them In the list that will amply reward them for
their trouble.
BOYS AND GIRLS,
Examine the Premium List. You can get some of
those presents for yourselves and some to sell to yonr
mates or to present to your parents and your friends.
Boys and Girls meet with success In inducing peo
ple to subscribe who would turn a grown person,awav.
Parents should encourage and aid their children fn
this work as a means of developing business habits.
CLERKS
In stores and in postofiices have many chances to show
the Weekly Chronicle and collect subscribers, and
get valuable articles for themselves or frienis or for
sale. You can pos-es a Watch, a u a Flhtng-rod
and many other useful things, by simply getting up a.
Club.
This cut represents the celebrated $10.00 SWISS
STEM Tf INBINO WATCH. It ia one-third larger
than the engraving, and is noted for the PERFECT
Meeluxnism of its Worhs, and its RELIABILITY
as a TIME-KEEPER, being used on the principal
railroads where accurate time is a necessity. It is open
face and back, the beautiful nickel works being seen
through a heavy glass, specially1 manufactured, and
being stem winder it is next to impossible to get out
of order. They will last for years and are the cheapest
watch ever offered. Sent free by registered mail to insure
safe delivery, for $10.00. Watch and Jewelry Circular
free. Postage Stamps taken as cash. Address,
?. STOCKMAN, 27 Bend St., New York.
mericaN
Sewing Machine.
Three-quarter less friction than any
other Machine.
IT BEATS THEM ALL,!
Self-Thread.
lST Shuttle!
Self-Thread- i
InjC Needle J
Lightest
fCunnins')
Stillest
Kuuulug.'
Simplest 1
I2r"This Machine
is fast becomin?
known as the
BEST W THE WOULD!
SEE IT.' TRY IT! BUY IT !
Warranted to Give Entire Satisfaction.
American -Sewing Machine Co.
G. R. WOOD, Manager,
14: FIFTH 8TKEET, - - - SAN FRANCISCU
T3TGO0G. Agents Wanted In all anoc
empted. Territory.
P.N.P. C. No. 169.
AGENTS
WANTED !
FOB PARTICULARS, ADDRESS
WILSON SEWING MACHINE
8JJ3 Broadway. Tiexv YorJc City;
Chicago, 111.; New Orleans, JDa.;
or San Francisco.
5Li mmmjmmmmmlvlLl
-I'