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About The Siuslaw news. (Florence, Lane County, Or.) 1960-current | View Entire Issue (April 15, 2017)
SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ SATURDAY, APRIL 15, 2017 7 A Easter Bunny is still getting help from dads in boxer shorts Ned Hickson Soon, in the wee hours of the morning, something magi- cal will happen in back yards all across America as, one by one, each of them is visited by... You guessed it! A half-naked father hiding Easter eggs. That’s right, the same fathers who were stomping on the roof with sleigh bells Christmas Eve will be out in the yard in their boxer shorts with an arm load of colorful eggs not long after sunrise. Their mission? Keep this tradition alive while, at the same time, trying not to step in anything that could elicit a response deemed inappropri- ate for Easter morning. This generally follows a week of preparation, most of which is spent looking for the latest advancements in egg- dying technology. My parents didn’t have to worry about this. When I was a kid there was only one kit available for making Easter eggs. This kit included four colored pills that could be combined to make additional colors or, as I preferred, swallowed whole and used to freak out kids in the rest room at school. The green pill was particu- larly effective. The red pill I tried only once because it gave me nightmares. As I was growing up, there were a number of advance- ments in egg-dying technolo- gy. For example, the highly touted “wand” made out of thin copper, which could be used for dipping eggs without making a mess. I know this because the back of the box showed a cartoon family making lots of eggs under the watchful eye of the Easter Bunny who was saying, and I quote: Look! No Mess! There were a couple of things that bothered me about this. First, it always looked like the family in the picture was being forced into color- ing eggs by a brooding, six- foot-tall rabbit blocking the only exit from the kitchen. Sure, everyone was smil- ing, but who’s to say they weren’t just buying time until help arrived? Mysteriously, this family appeared on the back of the box for several years, and then — poof. Gone. I was also bothered by the fact that, despite what I’m sure must have been a rigor- ous testing and design process, the “wand” usually collapsed on itself and dropped the egg directly into the dye the first time you used it. After becoming a parent, I took it upon myself to find out who was responsible for this tradition. As it turns out, Germans introduced it to the Pennsylvania Dutch in the 1700s when, in an eager attempt to share their home land’s annual spring celebra- tion, hundreds of German children began running around yelling: OSCHTER HAWS! OSCHTER HAWS! Not knowing it was a call for the Easter Bunny, the Dutch children fled, taking their breakfast of boiled eggs with them and inspiring the first Easter egg hunt in the New World. Eventually, the Easter Bunny tradition was embraced by the Dutch, who — like the German parents — realized it could be used as leverage against their chil- dren. Three hundred years later, little has changed. Good girls and boys still get a visit from the Easter Bunny, and fathers still stumble outside at first light to hide colored eggs. That said, I’ll take this opportunity to apologize once again to my neighbors in advance of Easter, just in case I step in anything left behind by something other than the Easter Bunny. Ned is a syndicated colum- nist with News Media Corporation. Write to him at nedhickson@ icloud.com DENTURE SERVICES INC. F ANNY ’ S LOCALLY OWNED AND OPERATED Open 4 days a week! Monday-Thursday 10am - 2 pm 524 Laurel St. 541-997-6054 pring showers paused while the flying carpet hovered over Florence to lower Fanny Rugburn to the stage of Class Act Theatre on April 8 for an evening of stories and song. S Here to serve your denture needs: Dentures Partial Dentures Immediate Dentures Implant Dentures Relines & Repairs Same Day HARMONIES REMAIN A William Foster LD Sherry, Offi ce Manager “As a denture wearer myself, I can answer your questions and address your denture concerns.” ~ William Foster, LD Financing: Citi Health Card 12 Month no Interest Review of Fanny Rugburns’s “Voices in My Head” B Y B URNEY G ARELICK Now Open! memory m emo or care services errvi es there's no place like home 5292 Harvard Avenue, Florence OR 97439 Tours Daily For more information call: 541.997.5002 Or email: PHOLQGD#QZUH͇HFWLRQVPFFRP Nurse Practitioner Owned and operated Secured Environment Resident Centered Medical Care Florence Glenada NWR n wr w r e f l e c t i o n s m c . c co o m nwreflectionsmc.com Glittering with jewels and adorned in a silky crimson gown and matching high heels, the lady in red spread her mag- nanimous arms to welcome her fans. Her fingers fluttered in long white gloves, and her soft yellow hair caressed her bare shoulders. . Clearly, Fanny was enjoying being a girl. Then she broke into song, a bright swing tune from 1944 by Jay Livingston and Ray Evans that set the theme for the evening. Whether sung by Betty Hutton or Bette Midler, the- lyrics begin plaintively. Some of her stories were graphic and without redeeming social importance, but those blue moons turned to gold whenever she broke into song, defiant hymns of liberty like “I’m Thru With Love,” written in 1931 by Fud Livingston, ‘C LASS A CT ’ Matty Malneck and Gus Kahn, and bejeweled anthems like “Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend,” written in 1949 by Jule Styne and Leo Robin. Beneath the glittering fun was the yearning to be loved, illustrated by the heartbreaking ballad, “Being Alive,” written in 1970 by Stephen Sondheim for Company. All the songs, bright, witty, and poignant, came from the magical pipes of Fanny’s alter ego, Jason Wood, Florence’s beloved actor, singer and vocal coach. During the show, Fanny’s colleague Ana Khonda made her Florence debut, slithering on stage with a shiny black bob, a slinky black dress, and a bag of naughty tricks she shared with attending fans. Ana and Fanny did a duet to demonstrate how to lip sync, with Fanny singing behind Ana and flutter- ing her arms while Ana moved her lips. If you forget the lyrics, Fanny said, just sing watermelon, can- taloupe, and bunches of grapes, a tip she learned from her vocal coach. After a frenetic encore, the flying carpet returned to carry Fanny Rugburn away. Even girls having fun need their beauty sleep. But she’ll be back to break glass ceilings because there’s nothing like a dame, and Fanny is Florence’s royal dame, not unlike Dames Judi Dench, Julie Andrews, and Helen Mirren, not to mention Dame Edna Everage. Editor’s note: All of Fanny Rugburn’s performances are for mature audiences.
