7 A
SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ SATURDAY, DECEMBER 3, 2016
KRAB KETTLE
Before buying that Christmas gift,
ask Mr. Knowitall
280 Hwy. 101 M 541-997-8996
Mon.-Sun., 10-6
activity, similar to your
Ned
body’s own natural electrical
Hickson impulses. An easy way to
up
Sign r
fo
y
earl
mas
t
s
i
Chr
Crab!
DENTURE SERVICES INC.
LOCALLY OWNED AND OPERATED
Open 4 days a week!
Since the introduction of
Mr. Knowitall, who is our
resident historian, economist,
food critic, movie reviewer,
foreign affairs consultant, sci-
ence correspondent, con-
sumer products expert and
vending machine repairman
(not necessarily in that order),
many of you have written in
seeking advice about holiday
gift-giving.
Due to the enormous vol-
ume of email we received,
they will be answered
through a lottery-style
process — which means that,
until he wins the lottery, Mr.
Knowitall will continue to
answer your questions.
So let us begin.
Dear Mr. Knowitall: Do
those electronic muscle stim-
ulators really help trim fat
and tone muscles?
— Really hope so in
Raleigh, NC
Dear Really: As you know,
the principle behind the
device is the utilization of a
continuous sequence of small
shocks that stimulates muscle
think of it is to visualize a car
and its battery. Now visualize
the car, the battery — and a
pair of jumper cables
clamped to your buttocks as
someone starts the engine.
(OK, that’s enough)
While there’s no scientific
proof this will trim fat and
build muscle, studies show
that most people find them-
selves stimulated enough to
go to the gym after one ses-
sion.
Dear Mr. Knowitall: I’m
looking at getting my hus-
band something to help with
his snoring. Any suggestions?
— Yawning in Yachats,
Ore.
Dear Yawning: I’ll tell you
there are a lot of products out
there that claim to end snor-
ing problems, and most of
these products are 100 per-
cent effective. And though
they may look and cost dif-
ferently, these devices all rely
on the same two principles,
which are:
• Fit into someone’s nos-
trils
• Be really uncomfortable
Let me Showcase your property.
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Monday-Thursday
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524 Laurel St.
541-997-6054
Tim Sapp
Owner /
Principal Broker
541 999-8230
Visit the Siuslaw News online at
WWW.THESIUSLAWNEWS.COM
This combination is proven
effective because it:
• Keeps snorers from sleep-
ing
My advice is to try rolling
him on his side. If that does-
n’t work try rolling him the
other way. If that doesn’t
work, keep rolling until you
hear a big thud. Repeat this
until he’s too frightened to
sleep.
Dear Mr. Knowitall: I’m
thinking of getting my wife
some of that spray that helps
remove body hair. Is it safe?
— Harry in Harrisburg,
Pa.
Dear Harry: Not for you,
it isn’t.
Dear Mr. Knowitall: I’d
like to get my wife a personal
protection device for
Christmas. I heard about
something on the Internet
that’s a combination pepper-
spray gun, flash light and
whistle.
Any idea where to find it?
— Wondering in Welches,
Ore.
Dear Wondering: It’s
called the Pepper Escort
defense kit and was invented
by Dan McClarin out of con-
cern for his daughters, who
are apparently very attractive
and excellent at multi-task-
Lake Point Drive #32 – Build your dream house
overlooking the seasonal lake and blueberry bog.
Utilities are underground, septic permit in place,
all to save you money on the development fees!
Do not miss your chance to live in The Reserve
at Heceta Lake subdivision. $65,000. #2369-
14289531
1749 Highway 101 • 541-997-1200
The Oregon Coast Military
Museum (OCMM) is offering
a selection of special gift
options for holiday shopping,
including challenge coins for
both the museum as well as the
recent USCG commemorative
dinner; new dog-tags patterned
after the museum’s flag-tag
logo; children’s toys; apparel
Holiday Open House
ON
A Y EDITI
WEDNESDA
NEWS . COM
THESIUSLAW
WS
@ SIUSLAWNE
$1.00
2016
U Y 20,
JANUAR
Visions’
tic c V
‘Artisti
d
ne er rs s na me
winn
WS
STLE
VIKS WRE
FOR TITLES B
SPORTS
WIN A $3 GIFT CARD
IN EVERY ISSUE
FOR 1-YEAR!
INSIDE —
December 2, 3-6pm
Refreshments, drawings, and lots of fun!
A3
THAT’S A $312 VALUE!
E, OREGON
E
Y SI NC
1890
s
Mary Ann’ at
Natural Pet
way
1541 High
red
101 suffe
damage
Saturday
when a car
into
crashed
a power
h
whic
pole,
k
then struc
ing.
the build
Central
Lincoln had r
to cut powe
a
to install
new pole.
Power was
restored
ay.
early Sund
o tage
r ou
se es s po on we
le, caus
Hig hway 101
t
h acciden
snaps d po
y night
Crash stor
in Saturda
e damage
the
were on
No lines
ing the vehi-
Health
PeaceH
d or touch
toddler to
cal groun
r Medi
Sean and
on
Marsh al
remained
Peace Harbo their injuries. cle.
said Fire
Firefighters traffic until
trea
treat
Center to
d and
direct
Barrett.
d
Barrett’s
were treate
scene to
All three
rding g to
ln PUD arrive
Acco ordin
r was an
that day.
Central Linco power to the
ed
drive
pole
releas
the
t,
le broke the
ay repor
to shut down
allegedly fell
The vehic
nt Saturd
male who
d
s. The pole lines.
r
ay y adult
A car accide Highw
driving, crosse d in two place
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go near powe
1541 ighwa
asleep while
near the groun
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evening at
f and crashe
snapped off
nts s and busi- lanes of traffic
sident
broken sec- lines in these situat r lines
reside
the
left
of
for
101 • Y ACHATS • ut F t LORENCE
part
W ALDPORT
• D UNES
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power • M APLETON
and
out pow
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into the pole. i e t the
witho
tt said. “All
ed through
h e fire
tells
s es w
sse
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nesse
tion smash Ann’s Natural Barre
the PUD
he time
th
the
y
night.
nigh
until
B
By
man
the
live
January
2016
the
of
are
ived d d,
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Fire
wall at Mary
ent t arrive
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tment
ise.”
V
Siuslaw Valley
me of depar two young passengers Pet.
some
ten- us otherw
of
were
lot
and
a
and
Rescue crews nders
SH 11A
on the
th vehicle
the
“There was
See CRA
overhead,”
ere out of f
respo nd ers
the street.
F o r d were
Ford
the first
in the wires
a
ac
f te r
af
after
tandin n ng g across
ta
lance sion tt said.
a standi
cenne
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s scene
Barre
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shee ed d TO into
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W E ester
F REE M x ONTHLY
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NTERTAINMENT
on G c crash
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Exped
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i ” Distri
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LLE M EYER
B Y C HANTE News
Siuslaw
C OAST C ENTRAL
W INCHESTER B AY • L AKESIDE • N ORTH B END • C OOS B AY • C HARLESTON • C OQU ILLE • B ANDON
MUSIC
from the
HEART
Virtuoso guitarist Jesse Cook
comes to Florence
COVER
STORY
7
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H IGH
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Th e gift cards will discontinue if the subscription is
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The Yachats Lion's Club
and Yachats Youth & Family
Activities are hosting a pan-
cake breakfast with Santa
Claus today from 9 to 11 a.m.
at the Yachats Lion's Hall at
W Fourth and Pontiac.
In addition to breakfast
there will be arts and crafts,
pictures with Santa and loads
of holiday cheer!
Visitors are encouraged to
bring a camera for photos of
Santa or have the event pho-
tographer take one. Don't
miss this fun event!
Donations are gladly
accepted but not required.
For more information,
contact Alice Beck at 541-
547-4599 or go to www.
yachatsyouth.org
WEATHER DATA
-
16
OF CONNIE
COURTESY
LOW
ENTA YEL
CYAN MAG
N T
E CO U
RN L AN
BLACK
FLORENC
Fest
The Chicken Coop
129 Maple Street
Florence
541-991-7739
—
T E
G WES
SERVIN
Santa in
Yachats
Chicken Coop
December 3, 12-5pm
Subscribe or renew your
subscription for 1-year by
December 31st
and be entered to
with branch logos and
insignias; books on military
heritage, including one about a
Florence family; and more.
For the season, Christmas
wreaths are available at Bay
Street Family Tyes in Old
Town, with the proceeds going
to the museum.
OCMM is open Thursday
through Saturday, 10 a.m. to 4
p.m.
for the
with the Siuslaw News
/ SIUSLAWNE
Ned is a syndicated columnist
with News Media Corporation.
His latest book, “Pearls of
Writing Wisdom: From 16 years
as a shucking columnist” is
available online at
www.Port Hole Books.com
Oregon Coast Military
Museum offering gift ideas
GET LOCAL
$3
Win a tlet
r y Ou
Groce very issue
rd in e r!
a
C
t
f
i
G
ea
for a y
ing.
The gun shoots a steady
stream of pepper spray, which
causes burning of the eyes
and throat, constriction of the
nasal passages, and inhibited
breathing.
Aimed in the opposite
direction, the gun can be
equally effective against an
attacker.
In addition, you can also
blow your whistle and shine
the flashlight in his eyes.
Hey, Yawning in Yachats, if
you’re still reading, this is
one option I hadn’t thought
of...
Unfortunately, that’s all we
have time for today because,
as I’m sure you understand,
Mr. Knowitall is a busy man.
Especially when the Cheetos
runs out in the vending
machine. If you have any
gift-buying questions, write
to Mr. Knowitall at nhick-
son@ thesiuslawnews.com
and I’ll make sure he gets it.
Your question, I mean.
Best Burger!
SUBSCRIBE AND REGISTER TO WIN GROCERY OUTLET GIFT CARDS for a Year!
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