n» vrv
Page Four
Camp Adair Sentry
Thursday, February 4, 1943.
■ <-- - —~l
; May Be True That Dead Men Tell no Tales
; But Here's 61 Undertaker Who Tells All
I__________________________________________________
i—
Military Affairs Body
Shown Combat Tactics
Thedore, The Timber Wolf
(Continued From Page 1)
Wells, Mr«. Stella A. Cutlip, C. L.
Lieuallan, Walter J. Gearrn, Mrs.
Anna' M. Ellis, John Hail, Stan
hope S. Pier, Fred Perry, John
Snellstrom; Col Elmer E. Wooten,
Mrs. I-ee Patterson, Mrs. W. H.
Steiwer, Mrs. Wm. M. McAllister,
Mrs. C. L. Lieuallan, Miss Kath
ryn Gouley, Mrs. F. H. Dammasch,
Kenneth Martin, Mrs. Keith Hall,
Miss Maxine Kent, Capt. Fred
Brunner, Mrs. Kaye Meyers.
All guests were given luncheon
at the various officers’ mess halls
ut the conclusion of the tour.
By Cpi John J. Gulielman
ever sold came to $2500. Most ex
“It’s *he artist in me,” says Pfc. pensive he ever saw, cost the buyers
Julius Leighty, QM. SCI' 1911, $15,000. This coffin of coffins was
whi n he’s asked how come he pre-
L i* undertaking and embalming as built of solid copper, and lined
a way of making a living, He likes with the most luxurious plush and
it all right, because for 14 years satin. So heuvy was it that it took
he's been plying his trade in und 12 men to carry it empty. The
around Kansas City and Tepoka. establishment that made the sale
The thing that keeps Leighty fas- featured the casket in their sales
ciliated is, that every case (the pro. room. Protected by plush ropes
ft ioiial’s polite term for corpse) like a Rembrandt, bathed in soft
presents an entirely different prob- reflected light, centered in a large
lem. I.eighty regards his work as ankle-deep carpet—“it looked like
Camp Readies to Cope
a constant and stimulating chal a little mansion,” says Leighty, im
lenge to his ingenuity. When he pressed to the point of awe by the
With Nasty Gremlins
does well on an average case, he very memory of its beauty. The
sutin
that
lines
the
coffin
govern*
he
gathers compliments. When
(Continued From Page 1)
manages to make an accident case funeral costs a great deal, depend
soldier, he still pursues his former
look well, people marvel. All this ing on the quality used. Once
career during his spare hours.
gets around of course and is excel Leighty considered having u inag-
"Are there any gremlins here?”
lent. indeed, for business. Another nificent pair of pajamas made froin
we asked him.
pleasant fact about his trade: "The the best quality—Skinner's satin
customer never complains,” chuc lining for coffins. The price fig
"Heh heh, dun’t mek me left!”
ured out to $18 for the satin alone,
kles Leighty.
replied Dr. McPheep. “Of course
wholesale at thut. Leighty decided
there are gremlins here. They is
Undertaking has its drawbacks, to do without. But u coffin sales
Want a date in Albani* A blind date!’
ebberwhere.
Why, only last
Leighty admits. For one thing u man friend of his, wishing to make
I
night—”
man's time is never his own; it's a his wife a particularluv fine pres
24-hour-a-day job.
"Of course, ent, hud a purty dress made up for Aaron B. Collins, Pfc William L. f WAR IS STILL HELL!!!!!
"Just what kinds are common
......................
Pfc
Hill M. Welton. .
mostly you just wait; it isn't so her out of the sutin. “The material Vick, ~
hereabouts?” we said, interrupting
!
By Pfc. T. J. Ryan, QMC.
To be Privates First Class: Pvt
Hut every time Leighty cost $30 wholesale—that show’s you
bad.”
him.
"Those shells are driving me
i s up to go out of un evening, what fine stuff it was," Leighty Kenneth 11. Anderson, Pvt Manalei
washe-
"Wai,” said the learned man, “I
mad!
”
la- ma|i- his time carefully, leaving
i B. Lump, Pvt Raymond L. Blevins,
have found that there are three dis-
suys.
The disheveled xoldier stood,
Pvt
William
M.
Maroney,
Pvt
David
forwarding addresses und telephone
gremlins in and around Camp
his eyes all glazed and blood
R. Rosenfeld.
numbers. “Most of them pick be Busy Before Breakfast
Cooke. ” And as we eagerly leaned
shot. . . a madman to whom the
Leighty
has
handled
every
kind
tween midnight and three A. M., he
forward in order to not miss a
peace of sleep would not come,
Some of the boys are inclined to
-ays reasonably, not compluining. of case during his 14 years ut the
word he said, he continued:
for a while at least.
trude. Once upon u time he was disbelieve Corporal Irving Berger’s
Apparently this is because the hu
"I can't sleep, I can’t sleep!
Three Varieties Around
man body is then at a natural low culled out ont on the case of a man denial that he tripped the light fan
If this doesn’t stop, I'll die. Nite
who
got
himself
in
the
way
of
u
"There are three varieties of
ebb. Every New Year’s eve for the
tastic (married) while on furlough.
after nite ... I can’t go on,” he I gremlin's in and a round Camp
past 13 years, except one, Leighty train. “I was picking up up pieces He looked too huppy and contented
moaned. “I stand the toil of the
for u half mile. Ami I got every
Ccoke. They are: The giant splay
has been called out o nu case. In
on his arrival back to cainp. At
day, and at nite I don’t rest be
thing
but
one
arm;
never
could
find
footed gremlins, the tooter-lipped
14 years he has hud only 10 duys
any rate his stay at home seemed
cause of those shells.”
thut. No, 1 didn't look too hard.
type und the common garden varie
vacation.
to have made a much happier man
I looked at him and he seemed
It was too early in the morning und
ty, the bubble-puss gray.
of
him.
She
is
the
girl
that
sends
Now Flowers for Baby
so weary, and somehow . . .
I wuh too hungry, hudn't hud my
“The giant spray-footed, Spleyfo-
There are other disadvantages, breakfast yet." Then there was the the “Green Envelopes.”
moved with pity. . . . and while I
ticus
Verbatima, is the true Ar
too. Lclghly never sends a gir) time that u worker fell 200 feet
moved ... It was with just a
.Making th«> rounds the other eve
mored Force gremlin, rarely beeing
flower
The possibility that th« from u smokestack.Every bone in
little smile of satisfaction, my
found outside an armored encamp
flowers well, it’s just too much the ho<ly wos broken. And the col ning. the O.D. came upon l*vt. Stei
conscience told me 1 should nev
ment. Its peculiar build and habits
for the uverage feminine imagina ored boy who managed to hold on, ner on guard duty. The O.D. asked
er have eaten those peanuts by
fit it nicely for the type of work
tion. Ne never visits anyone that’s although he was wot king next to Pvt. Steiner, "What is General Or
his bed. ’Cause an empty bed
necessary among tanks, haLf-tracks,
sick, no matter how good a friend. the mun who fell, couldn't speak for dn No 6?”
. . . and empty peanut shells . . .
peeps and other vehicles.
“Don’t know,” replies Pvt. Stei
For even so Eighty'* presence tends 30 months. Once u grim fellow
just mean one thing . . .that war
Firstly, it has huge splayed feet.
to disturb who knows, it might be downed carbolic acid mid lurched ner.
is hell.
The O.D. tries again, “What is
With these, one of its favorite
an official visit. When Leighty conveniently to Leighty'* parlor to
trucks is to precede a motorized
moved from Kansu* to Topeka, he die. Leighty rushed him to the General Order No. 4?"
make Captain L. A. Bentley as
“H —, I don’t know,” he an
column, and by running back and
stopped telling his young ludy hospital instead und the suicide
; proud of this Company as his prede-
friends what his job was. It was lived lived to curse out 1 -eighty swered.
| l essor has always been of us. Good forth in front of it, stir up dense
“Whut did the Corporal of the
always the same- -he would be roundly for saving his life. "But 1
(luck. Captain Bentley, and you can clouds of dust, which of course
duncing with some fair cutie; she wus probably lucky ut that ," says Guard tell you?” asked the O.D.
delights the drivers of the vehicles
certainly he assured of our fullest
“He said, ‘Watch out for the O.D.
Would snuggle up in a complete Leighty, "I found out luter that
no end.
I cooperation at all times.
eheek-to-check. “What do you do?” this guy's wife died two years be He's a sour puss."
i________________
Many times the playful little
slic'd ask. sweetly und the inoorl fore und he hail never paid the
devil will scoop up a foot-ful of
Poet Corner
and the evening were lost forever. funeral bill. He must have picked
Out of the Frying
dust and, jumping nimbly upon a
Our Meas Sergeant ha> little Huir
Leighty as an artist is a perfec me for the next sucker."
vehicle, throw it Square in the face
Pan
Into
the
Fire
From worrying, no doubt.
tionist. lie strives to make his Leftover«
of the unsuspecting driver. One
Let's all chip in buy him a wig
“i uses'' as
ii- handsome hut us life-
striking fact about this gremlin is
Miscellaneous facts from Leight's Then watch him pull what's left
lige us possible. Thus he gives
(The Se- try, never shy when jt that TBA allows it 1 each shovel,
treasure-store of civilian memories.
all out.
haircuts, baths, shampoos, shuves
comes to literary shoplifting, re w handle and 1 each pick-mat tox
Contrary to popular folklore, the
uses cosmeticH, even curls femi
prints here un article which ap w/handle.
hair and fingernails do not grow Bo brave little man, don't you cry,
nine hair. When a "case” hue never
pears in this week's "Timberwolf Bedevils Soldiers
after death; the akin recedes and You'll gi t a furlough by and by
been particularly fustidious in his
Cannoneer.” You can't sue us for
With these fiendish instruments
shrivels. The people who "carry The war can’t lust forever.
own personal care, it is a proud
plagarism, laiys, there's your credit of torture, they manage to bedevil
on” the most at funerals make the
hut nut unusual moment when a
line.)
soldiers in an infinite number of
quickest recoveries. No longer can
We certainly got a thrill when w<-
friend or relative comments in sur
Once upon time there were three ways: they dig deep holes for un
anyone be so low as to steal the tuned in over the radio the past
plus
"Why, lie looks latter now
boys-er-men over 38 years old suspecting peep drivers to smash
pennies from a dead man’s eyes;
week and heard (he nume of our who were soldiers in the army of into; they excavate pits for march
than whin he was alive." Leighty i
cotton or paper is now used to keep
i
distinguished Officer,
Lt. Norris the U. S. These three boys were too ing troops to step off into; they
ut funerals wears an attentive and
I
the lids down, Bodies sometimes announced as a judge
in a recently old for physical lalmr. They didn't throw sand under and around
properly glum expression. But ac
weeks,
sometimes
last only six
conducted quiz. Talk about celebri like to sleep in double-decker Iwds; wheeled vehicles so that they be
tually be hears little that goes on,
years. Leighty was present at the ties, yes sir, we have them.
for like all the profession, he trains
they didn’t like attending school a come stuck, thrust the shovel han
a
woman
who
had
disinterment of
i
himself not to listen. "After all
couple ot hour* in the evening, they dle between some poor dogface’s
been in the grave for 19 years She
We regret, though it's not our didn't like the Sergeant, they never legs—just as he is passing the regi
-oinetunes 1 ustsl to go to nine in a
looked alive. Her clothes were per fault, thut two member* of
our
day " <k< annually un old lady will
fectly preserved. Her hair still ('ompHiiy who qualified a* "Sharp- had enough money (allotment take mental commander and preparing
approuch l eighty. "What u fine
out) to have a good time in town, to render a smart salute. They use
retained its, natural wave.
»hooter" were omitted from the list they griped about the chow (the the sharp point of their pick-mattox
ceremony,” she will say with re
"Sure,
I'll
be
back
at
the
same
job
in last week's column. Those hon steak was a little too well done.)
train* *1 enthusiasm.
"Madam
to puncture tires and tv jab holes in
one of tin finest I've ever heard,' ( after the war,” says Leighty Busi ored were Pvt. Clyde Bozo and Pfc
So they were discharged by the gas tanks and to accomplish many
ness
depressions
don't
mean
a
thing
Walter R Cochran.
he agrees gravely. And then he
Army—and got jobs in the ship other sly little pecadillos,
moves calmly but surely away tie- | in my line."
yards.
"Then there is the tooter-lip,
FLASH! ! ! Just as your's truly
fore specific details reveal his ig-
They walked 2 miles to the yards, Cacaphonibus Scroechibo, that is
predicted. Miss Jeanne Cohen, of
noiunie of what was said. Aa fvr
familiar to all radio operators. They
Portland, Oregon, has announced the buses were so crowded, they dearly love to jump into an FM set
the professional's professionally
walked If) miles daily in their new
her engagement to Staff Sergeant
unhappy look, "If the undertaker
positions; they slept three and disturb its mysterious inner
Sol Herman of Brooklyn, New York found
is r. ally sad, it's liecause there's no
From the
lied, no double decker* for workings, make horrible screeching
in
one
Congratulations and beat wishes.
moi \ hi the particular funeral,”
they didn't have to attend noises coms out of the headphones
337
QM.
Depot
Co.
them;
Probably his buddy, Staff Sergeant
says Leighty.
they worked most of the and jumble code until it can never
by
A Schwarts, in his loneliness, will school,
Ileaulilul and a Joy Forever
Pvt. David Rosenfeld
time; their foreman (a woman) I m * deciphered.
be the next to take the futal step.
Th* average funeial comes to
made the Sergeant look like a Garble Phone Calls
about » >75, ex< lusive of limousine,
Great numbers of them can be
The following appointments and
sissy; they had enough money —
t ost il< pi tiding mostly on the cas
Last Tuesday. January 27. an
rating* are announced effective
they had to pay $10.00 each, per seen perched on telephone lines
ket Most expensive casket I-eighty
announcement was forthcoming
week per room, a couple of bucks carrying on outlandish conversa
February 1, 1943.
from our Commanding Officer, Cap
To be Staff Sergeant: Tis h 5th
for a decent nival They didn't have tions with innocent persons at one
N
tain R. O. Campbell, during noon
to worry about steaks, (they end or another. One of their favor
Gr Paul E. Nagel.
in«»«. A silence fell over the en
couldn't get any.I al small fortune ite gags is to make “fie-eev" sound
To be Sergeant; CpI. Alfred J
tire Company, and there was not a
for a new suit, everything sky- like “nic-yen," consequently play
N. Dinger.
question of a doubt that if a tor high; they didn't need the money ing hob with dates made by soldiers
To I m * Technician 4th Grade: Cpi.
AITO
ACCIDENT
nado hud struck the Mess "Hall at for a goml lune because the niftiest and their honeys. The tooter-lip
Wilmer C. Stolpe, Tech 5th Gt Ed
IT RE
LIFE
that tune, it would huve left no gal* were always with a "Uniform." also has an extremely nasty habit
ward L> Aiterburn, Tech 5th Gr
BVRGLARY
deeper wounds; when he informed
Uncle, Uncle, How can we get of appearing out on the parade
Ervin C. Quist, Cpi. Fivd J .Millet
and all other*
us that he was to be relieved of his back into the "Lousy" Army?
ground, and at a crucial moment
Reliable Stock Companie«
To be Corporal: Tech 5th Gr John
command of the Company and was
(just after the company commander
R Karnap. Tech 5th Gr Lalo A.
being transferred to Ft. Lewis,
older» "Eye-ees right!)” hr screams
Cordova, Tech 5th Gr Frank Tem
M I NT INFORM ITION?
Washington. Our association with
out, “T'th'-rvarp, Hotch!”
INSURANCE
BONDS
pleton.
Captain Campbell has certainly a
Elks llldg.
Phone 141
“Now, the bubble-puss gray.
What is it — a dog license
a
To by Technician 5th Grade Pfc
most pleasant one and wg fully
Corvallis, Oregon
marriage license
a place to stay Thanetue lldnoees, is the most
realize that his leaving us at this
or a temporary “little common species found in this sec
overnight
time will «un ly be felt throughout
tion. Scads of them live in the
grey home in the West"?
the » ntue Company. We are confi
The Corvallis Ih-fensc Recreation barracks with the men and spend
dent that our loss will tie another
Office in the City Hall attempt« all their time thinking up ways and
Company's gain.
to answer these questions and a means of heckling Uncle Sam s
We take this means of express
nephews. They love to sprawl out
hundred* other« every day in th«
ing our giatituile for all that Cap
on a nrwiy-niade bunk one minute
tain Campbell has accomplished for week. And on Saturday afternoon, before inspection, They take a »ol-
us in making this Depot Company some of the it«s>d women of the city dier's equipment and misplace it,
one of the best outfits on the West try to tell th« soldier what he putting hi« pistol belt and canteen
want* to know. The P.T A.'s have down in the bottom of his barracks
< .'oast.
Good luck to your. Captain R O. been in charge for the past two bag. taking his shelter half from
Campbell With the laird'« bless months, and now the Business and its usual place and stuffing it be
ing. we sincerely wish you God- Profeasional Women take over for tween his bed and mattrv».«. They
Speed ami success in your new ven a lime.
•at up a man's candy and cookie»
ture.
So “pack up your trouble*" and sent from home and caeafully
tell them to the "Ask Me" ladle* hoarded against the maraudings
W e take this opportunity to wel
next Saturday evening. Drop in of ether soldier».
come our new Company Command
Are Faegees Tee
er, Captain L A. Bentley, to the and introduce yourselves anyway, f They like to vp«n a toMier'* mail
337th QM Dtpot Co. There is no And. by the way. ask ts *ee the I before he get» it and with •* »«at
doubt, whatsoever, that we will letter from your governor.
a bit of forgery aa you ever »aw,
i
sometimes writes some of the most
disturbing things between the lines
like—‘I went out with one of the
cutest boys you ever saw the other
night. He took me dancing, dining
and then we went out to the Purple
Parrot—'
Occasionally these gremlins wan
der over to the orderly room just
to poke around a little. They mess
up the files and cunningly jumble
up the names on the KP roster and
whisper tantalizing suggestions in
to the first sergeant’s ear. And
then sometimes they slip up to one
while he is typing and hit the
wrong keys andxzq (get opt of
here, you little rascals!)—and do
many, many other things of a like
nature.
“Ah, they're great little crea
tures, though. At times we may
find them a little bothersome but
after all, what would life be with
out its little ups and downs?"
(CRASH! BANG!)
Now, who the hell pulled this
chair right out from under me?
Ada Leonard Troupe
Here for 3-Day Show
(Continued FTom Page 1)
was featured in the Broadway show
"Too Many Girls.”
Lynn Russell and Marion Farrar
—comedy song satirists, whose
numbers were . written by Eddie
Davis, who is Eddie Cantor’s writ
er. One is a beautiful blond, one
a ravishing red-head. If it matters
enough, the advance script declares
their costumes are lovely.
Elinor Sherry — singer, who
comes to the circuit direct from
the Roosevelt hotel in New Or
leans. A distinct personality girl.
(Continued From Page 1)
in months of 1942, $6311 was re
paid. Only $135 had been written
off as uncollectable — and this was
due to changes in circumstances of
the men, not because of unwilling
ness to pay.
Important among other services
rendered, more than 1400 knitted I
garments (mostly sweaters) were
issued through commanding offi
cers, to soldiers whose work de
I
manded exposure to inclement i
weather. The garments were knit
ted by Red Cross volunteers and
sent to the Field Director for dis
tribution.
Poor Soldier Must Pay;
Income Tax Dope Here
(Continued From Page 1)
come tax; a staff sergeant, $63;
technical sergeant, $97; master
sergeant, $149.
But Not Officers
The $250 deduction is not allowed
for commissioned officers, there
fore their income tax is propor
tionately higher. A second lieuten
ant will pay approximately $214
income tax; a first lieutenant.
We Tailor
Officers' Uniforms..
ARMY;.
ENGELSTAD’S
New location—414 Madiaoa
PHONE 240
W. Guy Parker
District Mgr.
Phone 1142
215 Monroe St., Corvallis, Ore.
Flowers By Wire
Across The Country in a Flash
The Perfect
VALENTINE
Delivery is guar
anteed only on
orders placed early.
We have a beauti
ful assortment of
cut flowers and
plants for your
“Valentine” in Cor
vallis.
RUSSELL'S FLOWER SHOP
Next to Hotel Benton, Corvallis
Important Notice
To Service Men, Camp Adair
Beginning Saturday, Southern Pacific Railroad
Company will operate one special train for service men
Camp Adair to Portland, handling Portland passengers
only, leaving Camp Adair 1:30 P.M.
Round trip, $2.00 — good on special train only.
Tickets available at Main Bus Terminal and at Wells-
dale station.
Oregon Motor Stages, for lack of equipment and
inability to secure adequate equipment cannot render
adequate transportation service to service men in
Camp Adair, especially the Portland traffic, and we
earnestly solicit and urge all service men desiring to
visit Portland over the week-ends avail themselves of
the service to be rendered by the Southern Pacific
Railroad Company and endeavor to arrange for their
passes or furloughs sufficiently in advance to make
use of this special train service.
Your cooperation to this extent will enable Oregon
Motor Stages to render more complete and greater
frequency of service between Camp Adair, Albany,
Corvallis and Salem.
For the return of service men to Camp Adair, this
special train will leave Portland on Sundays, at 7:30
P- M.
Shuttle busses will operate on Saturdays between
hours of 12 Noon and 1:30 P.M. serving SP Railroad
Depot. South-end shuttle bus will operate in reverse
direction during these hours.
^our cooperation in this matter is greatly appre
ciated.
Your Portrait
In
0
Elmer Patrick
A
Have it
made
RIGHT HERE on the POST
Quality Furniture
and Appliances
At Moderate Prices
Terms
260 State St.
Salem
The Ball Studio
No. 1
á
But—Please order
NOW. If you place
your order early,
the florist will save
out what you
order. Delay may
make substitution
*
necessary.
OREGON MOTOR STAGES
Insurance
for
WANTED
OFFICE MACHINE REPAIRS
By holder of Federal and
SUte Repair Contract».
Complete Service at
Red Cross Tells
Saga of Growth
YOKUM HOKUM
HOGG BROS.
$249; a captain, $318.
The return must be filed with
the Collector of Internal Revenue
for the district in which the tax
payer maintains legal residence.
The legal residence is usually
not the soldier's Army post but
where he lived before he entered
the Army.
Tax may be paid in full March
15 or in quarterly installments on
March 15, June 15, September 15,
and December 15.
Owners of War Bonds, in mak
ing an income tax report, can
either report the increment in
value when received, or treat as
income in each year the amount by
which their bonds increased in re
demption value. For the average
soldier, the former course is not
only cheaper in the long run but
much easier to figure.
Main Bus Terminal
-