Oregon City enterprise. (Oregon City, Or.) 1871-188?, September 01, 1876, Image 1

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DEVOTED TO NEWS, LITERATURE, AND THE BEST INTERESTS OF OREGON.
V OL. 10.
THE ENTERPRISE.
A LOCAL NEWSPAPER
FOR THE
Firmer, Business Man, k Family Circle.
ISSUED EVERY FRIDAY.
FRANK S. DEMENT,
rBOrBIETOB AND PUBLISHES.
OrriCIAL PAPERTOR CLACKAMAS CO.
pprrrln ENTERPRISE Builcltnff, one
J 2th3 "McnWing. Main St.
Term of SnlmcrlpUoii t
. tn Yfar. In Advance $2.50
glnf i wufj "
Six Months
1.50
TeruM pt Advertising "
. t A . - IntlnillnC
iraniei ii. a cnnnn nftwdVO
nil legal n. -.. r , i50
iin one wrote ... --
....,., ii bsnupnt Insertion . "
One Column, one year -jg-
,.. 120.00
01)
00
nnainesa Card, 1 squaro. one year
1-2.00
SOCIETY NOTICES.
oki:c;ox i.oicii-J no. 3, 1. 1. o. i'..
Meets every 'llmrsnay
evenin2t7U o ciock, m mo
Odd Fellows Hall, Main
MMilwrH of the Or
der are invited to attend. Jly order
kciuxca ii:ki:i: i)ic;
NO.
..k...l .,! ill-Ill 1 llS- A-Ji
dav evenings each month, gT3'X
f 7'i o'cloirk. in tne una
Fellows' Hall. Members of the Degree
aro invited to attend.
MULTNOMAH LOU CIS NO. 1, A.l
& A. M., Holds its regular com- A
iminications on the First and -gr
Third Saturdays in earn month,
at 7 o'clock from the 3Uh of Sep.
tember to the 20tU of March; and 7'i
oVlo.'k from thaOth of March to the
Jfitlx of Soptemler. I'.rethren in gootl
standing aro invited to attend.
lv order of W. M.
FAf.LS 11SCAMPMHXT NO. 1,1. O.
O. V., Meet at Odd Fellows'
Hall on the First and Third Tues
fl:i nf Mch month. Patriarchs
in good standing are invited to attend.
It US I y H8 8 C A R D S.
.1. V. NOIllilB,
PHYSICIAN AND SVRGEON,
r(),Hw IT-St:ilrs in Charman's P.rick,
Wain Street. tf
lR, .rOIIN WELCH
d e ?i rrsT, --0:
OFKICK IN
ORRCOX CITY, OKKGOX.
Hl-'t aU Price PaiJ f.ir Comity
Orilnr.
HUELAT & EASTHAM,
ATTO RN E YS-AT-L A W
POTtTIAXD hi Opit.'s new
First street.
OUKGOX CITY Charm a n's
stair. sej
brick, .".0
brick, u;
tittf
JOHNSON a McCOVVfJ
ATTORNEYS C01WSEL0RS 1T-L.UV.
Oregon City, Crogon.
7"VIU practice In nil tho Courts of t If
tat. Special attention given to eases in
the U. S. Land Onic at Oregon City.
5aprl872-tf.
L. ,T. 15 AH IN
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW,
OREGON CITY, : : OREGON.
Will
State.
practice In all
the Courts of the
Nov. 1. 1S7, tf
JOHN M. KACOX,
IMPORTER AND DEALER
In Rooks, Stationery, Terfuni
ry, etc., etc.
Oregon City, Oregon.
V.At the Tost Office, Main street, east
aide.
W. 11. HHJHFIELD.
Established since '49.
One door north of Pope' Hall.
Main Mrcft, Oregon City, Oregon.
A n assort ment of Watches. Jewel
ry, inil S.-th Thomas' Weight Clocks
I nt wVvlolt nrn ronwn..l 1
renresented.
"Rpalrlns done on short not ice, and
h ankful for past patronage.
Caali p:tlil fjr County Oriler
J. H. SHEPARD,
I3oot and Slioe Store,
t)ne door north of Ackerman Rros.
Boots and shoes made and repaired as
Cheap as the cheapest.
Nov. 1. 1875 .-tf
CIIAS. KNIG-IIT,
CAN IY, OREGON,
PHTSICIAN A NO DRUGGIST
Prescriptions
notlc.
carefully filled
at short
ja7if.
MILLER, MARSHALL &C0.,
OAT THE IIK1HEST PRICE FOR
JL wheat, at nit ttmes, at the
Oregon City Mills,
And have on hand
FEED and FLOUR
Y sell, at market rates. Parties desiring
reed, most furnish, sneks. nov!2tf
IMPERIAL FY1 I LLS,
LaRocque, SaTier & Co.
Oregon City.
lkridTmnnn.antlyI7-n,v,tf fr sale Flour,
wS3SSi?SJ Jt?d nlck Parties
purcliaalBfc feodmust furnish th aack-
r
TheChofcei Blue, Black, or Gray 1
BY ZAVARR VILMSI1CRST.
Said Blue Eyes, " I will love vou
Long as the heavens above vou
Arch earth with azure hue";
Soft as the Mowers awaken
Jieneath the breath of Spring,
And sweet as rose-leaves shaken
Their silver dewdrops lling
III kisses rain on you."
Said IJlack Eyes, ' I'll adore j-ou,
Although the tempest o'er you
Snatch hope and heaven from view ;
When lightnings tear asunder
The sky's red golden field
When Uattle hurls his thunder,
I'll make my breast 3-our shield,
And die with joy for you."
Said Gray Eyes, " I will love you,
E'en though the skies above vou
Turn bleak and dull as lead;
Though youth and iy forsake .you,
And life grow cold and drearj
A heaven of love I'll make you,
A thousand fold more ,'?ar,
, When all but love isk-dtfuu,"
Was it Worth a
It was in the autumn of the year
1782 that a surgeon of Boulogne, of
tho name of Etienne Lefebvre, re
ceived a letter, not bearing any sig
nature, requesting him to repair on
the following day to a country-house
which was situated on the road lead
ing to Calais, and to bring along
such instruments us would be
o
re-
quired for performing an operation
L.efebvre was at that period well
known as a distinguished and suc
cessful operator ; so much so, in
deed, that he was not nnfrequently
sent for from great distances. He
hail served for a considerable time in
the navy, and his manners had,
therefore, a certain degree of hlnnt-
ness ; but, when j-ou once became
acquainted with him, you could not
help liking him for the natural and
unaffected goodness of his heart.
He was naturally som -what sur
prised at this anonymous communi
cation ; for, although the time and
place were, as already stated, men
tioned with great minuteness, there
was no clew afforded by which tho
writer could be identified. lie,
therefore, came to the conclusion
that some of his jocular friends were
making fun of him, and he did not
keep the appointment.
Three days afterwards he again re
ceived a similar summons, but
couched in more pressing terms than
the first, and he was informed that
at 9 o, clock in the morning a car
riage would be sent to bring him to
the place where he was anxiously
expected. Accordingly, next morn
ing, sure enough, on the last stroke
of 'J, a carriage drove up to his door.
The doctor no longer made any hesi
tation, but at once took his seat in
tbe carriage. As he was getting in,
he inquired of the coachman where
he was to be taken to ; but the man.
appeared either not to know, or did
not choose to teli ; but, as In; spoke
in English, Lefebrve said to himself,
' So it is an Englishman to whom I
am summoned," and he accordingly
prepared himself for an exhibition of
eccentricity on the part of one of
that nation which een now is so
little understood by Continentals.
At length the carriage stopped, and
the docter hastened into the house.
He was received at the entrance by
a iine louking young man of about
twenty-live vvars of age, who re
quested him to walk into a large and
handsome room on the lirst floor
ins accent showed him to be an
Englishman. The following conver
sation then ensued between them :
You have sent for me," said the
doctor.
1 am very much obliged to you
for the trouble vou have taken in
coming here, rejoined the ,nirlish
man. 44 lie so good as to seat your
self at the table, where you will find
chocolate, coffee, or wine, in caseyou
would like to partake of anything
before commencing the operation.
" lint first show me the pat;ent. 1
wish to satisfy myself that an opera
tion is absolutely necessary."
It is necessary, Monsietir Lefe
bvre ; pray bo seated." I have entire
confidence. in yon ; only listen to me.
Here is a purse containing 100 gni
neas. whish I offer vou as a fee for
the operation you are asked to per
form, no matter what the result may
bo. In case of j"our refusing com
pliance with my request, you see this
pistol, it is joaaeu, ana you are in
my power. As I hope for salvation,
I will blow your brains out.
" Sir, I am not to be deterred from
doing what I consider proper by any
fear of your pistol. lint what do
yon desire ? What am I expected to
do?'
" You must cut my right leg off."
" With all my heart," answered
tho surrreon. thiDkintr this was a
characteristic specimen of those mad
English; "and your hand, also, if
necessary or desirable. However,
unless! am greatly mistaken, your
leg is perfectly sound. 1 saw you
wulk down stairs with the greatest
activity. What can be the matter
with your leg?"
" Nothing ; but it must come off.
" Sir, you are mad."
lhat is no concern of
Monsieur Lefebvre."
yours,
W hat harm can that handsome
limb have done ?
Jsone at all ; still you must make
up your mind to amputate it."
"Sir. I have no acquaintance with
you ; give me some proof that you
in ftouua mina, naturally de
manded the doctor.
the doctor.
44 Will yon consent to my wishes,
Monsieur Lefebvre?"
' As SOOn aS VOn can ncci'n-r. ow
adequate or reasonable motive for so
unnecessary an operation.
x cannot at present enter into
any explanations, m a year, per
naps, x wm do. so. But I will bet
you, sir, that then vou will
edge that my" reasons for my present
seemingly-extravagant conduct nro
most. pure manly and. noble,, and.
OREGON CITY,
even rational."
" It is quite impossible lor me,"
remonstrated the surgeon, " to com
ply until yon tell me your name,
place of residence, position and
family."
" You shall be made acquainted
with all these particulars at some
fnture time, but not at present. I
beg you to consider me a man of
honor." .
" A man of honor does not utter
unjustifiable threats against his doc
tor. I have to perform a duty even
towards you, who are a stranger to
me. My reasons for refusing to
accede to your absurd request are,
as yon must admit, sound and just.
Do yon wish to be the murderer of a
large family ?"
" Well, Monsieur Lefebvre," re
plied the Englishman, taking up the
pistol, " I will not fire nnon von. and
J yet I will compel you to cut of
ieg. vv uai you remse ilo to oblige
me, through love of gain or fear of a
bullet, you shall do through human
ity." "4 How so, sir ?"
44 1 intend to shatter my leg with
this pistol, and that, too, before your
eyes, answered the Englishman, who
accordingly seated himself, cocked
the pistol, and then took deliberate
aim at his knee-joint.
Lefebvre rushed forward to pre
vent him, but the Englishman coolly
exclaimed :
'4' Do not come near ; if you do, I
fire. Xow only answer me this ques
tion : Do you wish to prolong my
6nffering needlessly ?"
44 Sir, yon are mad," answered the
doctor in despair; 4 but have your
own way I am 'ready to do as you
wish."
Everything was ready for the op
eration. As soon as the surgeon
took up his instruments the English
man lighted his cigar, and declared
that he would smoke until tho ope
ration was concluded. He kept his
word. The lifelsss leg rested upon
the floor, but the Englishman still
smoked on. The operation had been
performed in a most masterly man
ner, and. thanks to Dr. Lefebvre 's
skill and attention, the patient soon
became perfectly recovered, al
though, of course, he had to be sup
plied with a wooden leg. He re
warded the surgeon, whom he had
earned to esteem more and more
every day; thanked him with tears
in ins eves for the great obligation
under which he had laid him; and
in a short time started for England.
About two months after the pa-
ient's departure the surgeon receiv-
ed tho following letter from En;
land.
Inclosed you will receive a token
of my boundless gratitude. a bill
of exchange on mv banker in Paris
for n,.r00 francs. Yon have render
ed me the happiest of nif n by rid
ding me of a limb which was an ob
stacle in the wav of my happiness.
Learn, then, the reason of w hat you
termed my madness. Yon assured
me that there could be no justifiable
motive for so singular a mutilation.
I offered 3 0U a wager, and I think
yon were right in refusing it. After
my second return from tho Last In
dies, I became acquainted with Su
san Black, the most accomplished
and fascinating of wouk h. 1 sought
her hand in marriage. Her fortune
and family were such as met with
the entire approbation of my parents.
As for me, I thought only of her
charms. I was soon happy enough
to gain her affections, a fact which
she did not attempt to deny;b it she,
at the same time, firmly refused to
become my wife. In vain did I be
seech her to do so; in vain did her
relations all second my desire. She
was inflexible. For a long time I
could not discover the reason of her
opposition to a marriage which she
herself confessed would make her
happy; until, at last, one of her sis
ters revealed the fatal secret to me.
Susan was a marvel of beauty, but she
was so unfortiinateas to have a wooden
leg, and she had consequently con
demed herself to eternal celibacy.
My resolution was quickly formed,
and I determined to become like her.
Thanks to yon my dear Lelebvre,
my wishes weie soon accomplished.
I hastened to gain information of
Miss Black. The report had been
spread, and I myself had taken care
to write to my friends in England to
the same effect, that I had the mis
fortune to fracfnre my leg, and that
amputation had been found abso
lutely necessary. Every one express
ed the greatest concern at my mis
fortune. Susan fainted on the first
occasion of my presenting myself.
She was for a long time inconsol
able, but at length she consented to
become my wife. It was only on the
morning after our marriage that I
confessed to her the sacrifice by
means of which I had at length been
enabled to gain her consent to be
mine. The avowal increased her
love. Oh! my excellent friend, had
I ten legs to lose, I would give them
all up for the sake of my beloved
Susan. So long as I live, rely on
ray gratitude. If ever you visit
England, do not fail to come here, so
that I make you acquainted with my
wife; and then, tell me whether or
not I was out of my senses. Yours,
faithfully, Asthuk Oxlet.
Monsieur Lefebvre answered the
letter of his English friend in the
following terms:
Sir: Accept my best thanks for
your very general present, for so I
must term what you have sent me,
having been previously magnificent
ly remunerated for my trouble, as
you were pleased to term it. I wish
you, as well as your charming wife,
all imaginable" happiness.' True it
is that to give a leg in exchange for
. beautiful, tender, and virtnous
wife is not too much, provided the
happiness endures. Adam sacrificed
one of his ribs to become possessed
of our common mother Eve, and
morn than one man. has laid down
OREGON, FRIDAY; SEPT. 1, 1876.
his life for the sake of his beloved.
Notwithstanding all this allow me to
adhere to my former opinion. For
the present yon are doubtless right,
for yon are now in the honeymoon;
but at some future time you will ac
knowledge the truth of what I ad
vanced. I beg your attention to
what I am about to say. I fear that
in two years you will repent of hav
ing your leg amputated above the
knee-joint. You will think that to
have it cut off lower down would
have been quiet sufficient. In three
years you would ba pursuaded that
the sacrifice of a foot would have
answered all purposes; in four, that
of the big toe; in five, the little one;
and, at last, you will jhave confessed
that to have parted with a nail, with
out necessity, would . have b?en a
piece of egregious folly. All this I
assert without in the slightest degree
Impugning tho merit of of your ad
mirable helpmate. In my own
youthful days I would have, at any
time, given my life for my mistress,
but never my leg, for I should have
feared repentance for the rest of my
days. Had I really done so, I should
have every moment said to myself,
"Lefedvre you are a madman."
With highest consideration, yours
very obediently.
Etiexxe Lefebvre.
In the year 1793, during the Ileign
of Terror, the surgeon of Bolcgne,
having, been accused of being an
aristrocrat by one of hig younger
professional brethern who envied
him his practice, was obliged to take
refuge in London, in oi-der to save
his neck from the guillotine. Being
without employment or acquaintan
ces, he inquired for the residence of
his former patient, Mr. Oxley. He
was directed to it, and, on arriving
at the house, he sent up his name,
and was immediately admitted. In
a huge arm-chair, seated before the
fire, with a bottle of wino beside
him, sat a portly personage, whose size
was so great that it vas with difficul
ty that lie could rise to welcome hi'.
visitor. "Welcome, Monsieur Lefe
vre," exclaimed the huge English
man. "Do not be offended at my
receiving you in this manner, but
my cursed wooden leg - won't allow
me to do anything. You have come,
no doubt, my friend, to see if in
the long run you were not right."
44I am a fugitive seeking an asylum
among you."
"You shall stay with me, for you
aro real y a wise man. Yon will
console me. Do you know my dear
Lefebyre, that, had it not been for
this abominable wooden leg render
ing me unless, I should by this time
have been Admiral of the Bine. I
spend my life in reading tho news
papers, and in curses that I am tied
here when everybody else is up and
doing. Ilcmaiii here; you shall
comfort me."
"Your charming wife can doubt
less do that better than I can."
"Oil, as for that, no. Her wood
en leg prevents her from gadding
about and dancing; so she has, a re
source, given herself up to cards
and scandal. There is no possibility
of living alone with her; in other re
spects she is a good .enough woman."
"wnau was x rignt, tnen.' ex
claimed the surgeon.
"Oh, a thousand times, my dear
Lefebvre but say no more on that
subject. I was an unutterable fool.
If I bad my leg back again. I
would noi pari with the paring ot a
single nail. Between 01 rself, I must
have been crazy; but keep that to
y ou rsel f . " En 'j UsJi Magazine.
Kissing in Austria is perhaps
justly regarded as too serious a mat
ter to be trifled with on the stage
An ii-usirain manager would be as
much surprised at seeing the lover in
a play kiss Ins beloved in earnest,
a; at seeing uie villain in a
play stab his victim in earnest
Hence a scandal, the other night, at
the imperial opera. A handsome
tenor, Bastiano Widmann, having to
kiss t!.e sophrano, Signorina Giov
anni, Lortzing's opera of the "Ar
monrer," that lady at the rehearsal
i ll . . . .
requested mm to "make believe in
the correct Vieennese manner. In
sieaa 01 which, wuen the proper mo
ment came at the first performance,
tho handsome tenor plumply and
resonantly kissed the artonished so
phrano upon her rosy lips. Signo-
rino (jriovanm, after the curtain fell.
went in a pretty rage to the manager
and complained. The manager sent
for the handsome tenor and reqested
him to restrain his ardor for the fu
ture on pain of a worse thing.
When the second representation
took place, Signorina Giovanna, dis
trusting him, exclaimed, loud
enough for the horse to hear, "1
will excuse you from the kiss." The
handsome tenor, incensed at the in
suit, responded in a stage whisper,
44 Thank God for that 1 Who wants
to kiss such an old thing!" The
house sat appalled. Signorina Gio
9 1 SY . .
vunm nounceu on me stage, and tne
handsome tenor has been bidden
apologize or abscond.
Vaxdebbilt b Wisxrxo at Whist
- commodore vanuerimt. says a
Aew ioik irwnne reporter, 4 was
always very fond of cards, whist and
l 1 1 , -M- .
point eucnre. ne never played po
ker or gambled at the faro table. I
asked him once as to the larg
amount of money he ever made at
whist, and he said that whe : the
Southern men were in their glory he
r cr rrr
won zu.uuu in one day.
These are the cholera mixture days,
when the unripe watermelon makes
its periodical visitation and seems to
forget that a man s stomach isn't"
ball room.
A Philadelphia fashion writer has
the audacity to print apropos of low
AlA4
corsages, mat noi one woman in a
hundred bas a neck, and shoulders
worth showing.
The Queer Case of "Orpheus C.
Jicrr.
A correspondent of the Chicago
Tribune writes from New York :
You know R. C. Newell, who under
the non de nlume of " Orpheus C.
Kerr," has furnished the country
with some of its richest and most
pungent; humorous literature du-
mg the last fifteen years i ion re
member his famous letters from the
Mackerel Brigade " during the
11
war, ond how his comicaiiy saga
cious criticisms convulsed the army
and molded public opinion ? Col-
fox and Frank Carpenter, and tbe
Rev. D. Neill, the entertaining par
son, like to tell how "Old Abe" went
around with Newell s book in his
pocket repeating its shrewd allego
ries and reading its fun to command
ing generals and Cabinet officers,
and especially how " he once gave
Grant a lesson from it. Well" New
ell is now in a bad wav, and unless
there is a radical c ange he cannot
live a month. Since closing lus de
licious and pop alar "Social Studies"
in the World, three years ago, he has
been on the working editorial force of
the Graphic, editing the weekly and
contributing sketches and humorous
poems to the daily. He has not
been absent from his desk a day in a
vear. but for the past twenty-seven
dayshe haseaten nothing whatever. I
mean just this. It will be four
weeks to-morrow since a mouthful or
a crumb of food passed his lips! Dur
ing that' time he has lost thirty
pounds of flesh, and now, though
five feet 10 inches in height.he weighs
only 102 pounds. He has drank one
cup of coffee every morning, and has
taken a small gl ss of milk punch
every other day, and this has been
his entire nourishment, unless his
two daily cigars may be supposed to
have nutritions qualities. His con
dition is getting to be a problem for
t- e doctors, especially when it is
added that he walks a mile and a half
every day, 0:1 his way to the office
and back, anddrivesont two or three
times a week with his fine hors .
Ile'is very weak, but has no feeling
of faintness or hunger, and is
cheerful as the sun.
Newell is a man of forty, and has
independent means. His habits
have always been rigidly temperate.
His family are profoundly alarmed
at his condition, but he declares
that he cannot eat. There as obvi
ously no physical impediment, as
in the case of hydrophobia, for he
can swallow as easily as ever, and
promises his friends that he will try
to eat. and accordingly sits down to
every meal; and even puts morsels-to
his lips, but then, without nausea,
there comes what he calls 44 nervous
revolt," and the food is rejected.
Yamlerbilt's Fortune.
The New York
Tribune has been
some trustworthy
trying to obtain
estimate of Commodore "Vanderbilt's
wealth, but without success. Cur
rent rumors for several ye rs as
cribed fabulous wealth to Astor,
Stewart and Vanderbilt. The for
tunes were said to exceed $80,000,-
000 each, and were popularly sup
posed to reach $100,000,000. But
this is a very large sum of money.
and few people stopped to think
what was meant by $100,000,000.
Mr. Astor was worth in all, not more
than from $45,000,000 to $50,000,000,
and Mr. Stewarts fortune did not
exceed $25,000,000. Those acquaint
ed with his business affairs know
that he was constantly carrying a
heavy margin of indebtedness on his
purchases not beyond his ability to
carry, and not sufficient to embarass
him but materially lessening the
aggregate worth of his estate on a
final settlement and winding up or
his affairs. Mr. Vanderbilt has not
needed to own a majority of the stock
of the New York Central and Hudson
River Railroads. It has been suffi
cient for him and his sons, with a
few ch: sen friends, to control $40,-
000.000 of tlie stock. Had his death
not been so long anticipated this
valuable property would probably be
subjected to the fluctuations of the
market for a time after his demise,
and a forced sale of the stock would
not yield the figures at present
quoted on the market, but his best
friends do not anticipate anything
like a convulsion. In view of this
contingency, it is understood in the
inner circle of the Commodoie s ac
quaintance that he has disposed of
his immense interest in the stock to
his sons, which will effectually pre
vent a panic and keep the control of
the roads in the hands of those who
have so long managed them. Mr.
Vanderbilt will not let the public
into the secret of hismisfortnne. He
is willing enougn 10 oe considered
worth SIOO.000,000, but the exact
figures never will be known outside
of his family if he can avoid it. The
actual value of his estate cannot even
be estimated with any certainty. To
say that he is worth from forty to
sixty millions of dollars is as near as
any outsider can get at it.
A c orrespondent says : ''Sundown
chapeanx are very ugly and should
only be worn by those who possess a
prettv, youthful face. Now, the
question arises who is to be the
judge of those faces, and if every wo
man is to be her own judge , then
wont every woman wear a chapeaux ?
Grounds of Argument. '-'dith :
1 - . A
say, ltegy, now is it mat one 01 our
cows is brown and and the other
white? Reginald: Why, you silly
any one knows that. It's the white
cow that gives the milk and the
brown cow that gives the coffee.
A Kentucky schoolmaster whose
wife was one of his pupils had occa
sion to punish her one day. The
next day the schoolhouse door bore
this inscription; "School closed for
one week ;, schoolmaster ill."
A Turkish Joe Sffller;-
The Turks, grave and majestic, as
they are often supposed to be, have
a traditional Joe Miller, one Nasr
Eddin, commonly called Nasr-Eddin-Hodja
(i. e., the abbe, or half priest,
half teacher) . And just as there was
a real Joe Miller, who was more or
less, in some sense or other, the
origin of the jest-book named after
him, so there seems to have been an
actual Nasr-Eddin, who lived in the
days of Timour the Tartar, or Tamer
lane, (a.d. 1335-1405) him of the
one eye and the game-leg and who
dared to jest with the terrible soldier,
even to his face.
Now that it looks more than ever
as if tlie Turks were to be dislodged
out of the encampment they have so
long occupied in Christendom, there
is a certain propriety in remember
ing once more anything characteristic
of them ; and this ancient' collection
of jests is worth something as show
ing that, barbarious as they are, they
had some tincture of the mirthful
ness which is so important a common
bond of man to man. If they enjoy
fun, there must be something good
in them.
The best known story of Nasr
Eddin is often found in collections
of anecdotes ; it is that of his thrice
fooling the assembly of true be
lievers out of a sermon by three
successive jocular replies. The first
time he ascended the pulpit, he said,
" O true believers ! do yon know
what I am going to say ?" They re
plied, 44 No." Whereupon he asked,
44 Of what use to preach to such
ignoramuses ?" and came down from
the pulpit.
The next time, when he asked the
same question, they answered, 44 Yes,
we know." Whereupon, he said,
44 Then it is useless for me to tell
you ;" and came down.
The third time, having taken coun
sel together, the congregation pre
pared an answer which they thonght
would corner their joker-preacher,
and said, 44 Some of us know, and
some don't." Whereupon he prompt
ly replied, 44 Let those who know,
tell those who don't;" and ence more
came down.
This is an easier way to savo sermon-writing
than exchange.
Some of the stories about Nasr
Eddin are too much of a bar-room
kind for general society, and some
(also omitted in this account) are
rather flat ; but taken together they
represent the Hodja as a curious
parallel, partly to Joe Miller and
partly to such historical buffoons as
Archie Armstrong, Will Sommers,
Tarlton. and their facetious frater
nity, who were, perhaps, all of them,
full as foolish as funny. There is
also an odd similarity in some of
these stories to the Irish sort of jokes
called 44 bulls."
Thus, the Hodja dreamed one
night that he was offered nine aspers
for something, but demanded ten ;
and upon this being allowed., he
demanded nineteen, but woke up
ust at that point ; and perceiving
hat there was neither cash nor cus
tomer, he turned over and shut up
lis eyes, saying, " Oh. well, my
riend, give me nine, then."
This is exactly the case of the
rishman who dreamed that the Pope
offered him either cold punch or
jot ; and having chosen the latter,
and having waked np before the
servant came back with the hot
water, he told" his dream, adding.
with much sincerity, 44 And now it's
thronbling me that I didn't take it
cowld."- -Editor's Drawer, in Har
per s Magazine jor aeptemoer.
A Frenchman's Contest with Enjrllsh.
Our readers have doubtless heard
of the Frenchman who so sadly mis
used shall and wi7. Falling in a
river ho cried out, 44 1 tcill drown;
nobodv sliall help me." But it is
lard work for many to whom Eng-
ish " comes by nature," to use these
words correctly.
Another Frenchman was sorely
pnzzled by the usual English saluta
tions. In 1 rench the ordinary salu
tation is " Comment vou8 portez-vous?"
iterally, How do you carry your
self? It is significant of national
character, for deportment, or one's
physical carriage, is very important
in i ranee. A friend one day asked
this Frenchman, who had begun to
speak English
" How do you do? "
"Do vat?"
" I mean how do you find
your-
sen?"
' Saire, I never loses myself."
"Eut how do you ft el ?"
" Smooth ; you just feel me."
If I were to have only one blessincr
and no more in tins world, and were
....
to be asked what it should be.
should answer, without hesitation.
cungeuiai companions, mere is no
trouble such companionship cannot
suneu, ijo joy ir, cannot; increase
I he poorest dwelling the most
meagre fares, shared with people
whose thoughts are one's own. catch
one s meaning at once, and enjoy tbe
came thing, would be better than al
ine luxuries the world could give
snared oy those whoe presence is
disagreeable to us.
They may be ever so good bet
ler than one's self even but that
don't mend the matter. It is
thing impossible to help in any way
What can you do if you love mn
Bic and the other hates it ? If gay
assemblages and innocent amuse
ments please one. and the solitude o
a hermitage another? If this sees tbe
ludicrous side of every question, ana
that take everything in solemn seri
ousness ? If, when one makes a
joke the other asks, gravely, "Do
you think Tthat ?"
Doleful are the. hours the two
must pass together, and miserable
are their lives if bound by ties that
cannot be broken.
NO. 45.
Attractiveness in Women.
Personal' atttwtlons most girl
possess, at any rat& in a sufficient
degree to render them attractive to
somebody;" for although there mre
standards of beauty, yet these do not
prevail with all people. The follow
ing sensible article from a leading
paper in the West j. will appiy to the
ladies here as well as to the women
of the locality for which the article
was intended :: '"There is something
wonderful in' the difference of aspect
which the same face wears to differ
ent beholders. Probably the philo
sophical explanation of this is that
which is hidden from all becomes
immediately -atsd instinctively ap
parent to the eye of lore. How can
a moderately good-looking girl in
crease her attractions ?. By culture.
She musk cultivate- br mind. An
ignorant, illiterate woman, even if
she attracts- attention, cannot retain
the interest of an' intelligent man,
She most do this by reading, by
study,, reflection, and by familiar
conversation with the best and most
highly educated persons with whom
she comes in contact. Hilt the hearrt
must be cultivated as well as the
head. " Of all things," exclaimed
an elegant and refined gentleman
44 of all things, give me softness
and gentleness in woman." A harsh
voice, a coarse laugh ; trifles like
these have suddenly spoiled many a
favorable impression The cultiva
tion of the-heart? mnst: be real, not
feigned.- A' woman who studies to
appear rather to be good and gener
ous, seldom succeeds in deceiving
the other sex in these respects. She
who in truth seeks earnestly to pro
mote the happiness of those aronnd
her is very apt- soon to obtain ad
mirersamong men. Above all other
requisites in a- woman is conscien
tiousness. Without this one touch
stone of character, no matter what
her charms aud acquirements, sho
cannot expect to command the lasting
regard of any man whose love i
worth having."
Jersey Cattle.
The London Agricultural Gazette
strikes the following, hard blows at
those who value color as a mark of
pure blood :
If the value of Jersey stock is to
rest on color, deterioration will sure
ly follow of those useful qualities
that are far more noticeable in the
good, old-fashioned, parti-colored
cow, than that which will be found
among the generality of fine, high.
bred, whole-colored fawns, grays,
or foxey, so-called Jerseys, I have
owned hundreds of-acclimated Jersey
stock, and have never, as a rule,
found the whole-colored such larger
producers- as- many parti-colored
ones ; in tact, oyiar tne most ontter-
producing cow T ever possessed was
not only parti-colored, but the most
ugly and ungainly beast oz tne lot,
yet her stock- have never failed to
show their butter-making qualities.
The true type of a Jersey cow is, in
fact, an animal that will not make
meat. I do not say that this is not
improved upon by acclimatization
and a slight introduction of a har
dier breed, of which what are teamed
Chichester Jerseys are the best de
scription. Neither do I say that
Jersey breeders 011 the island itself
have not in some instances a breed
that shows a disposition to make
some flesh,-and very probably s may
then be following up the require
ments of fashion, yet I maintain that
pure Jersey should throw the
bulk of her feeding qualities into
butter, and with little to flesh. The
parti-colored Rood cow may have
but a white spot, especially under
the belly, but throughout the bodr
the rich, yellow skin, under any col
ored hair, will be found black.
white or fawn. I have seen the com
mencement of a whole-colored herd,
the property of a noble dulre, to ob
tain which I have seen wealthy and
large-producing cows sold off to pre
vent an animal remaining with the
slightest stain of other than one
color.
Remarkable Self-Sacrifice.
This (says the Boston Globe J is a
true story. The happy circum- .
stances occurred on last Sunday eve
ning. He estrortet her to ana
from church, and upon arriving at her
home their discussion of the sermon
and the extreme heat suggested an
invitation, readily accepted by
Charles, that they step into the house
and partake of a cooling glass ol
lemonade. She led him to the dining-room,
and there found naughty
brother Ben about to squeeze the
last lemon in the house for his own
individual benefit! Calling him aside
she induced Ben, by means of sun
dry threats and promises, to dissect
that lemon and make Charlie and
herself a glass. A self-sacrificing
thonght stroek herf " No, Ben,"
said she, " put the jiiice of the whole
lemon into Charlie's glass and bring
me a glass- of waterv He won't no
tice it, there's no light in the par
lor !" Ben was making one good,
strong lemonade,- as- directed, when
Charlie quietly slipped at and re
marked: "I say, Ben F put the juicer
of your entire lemon in your sister's
glass and bring me some ice-water,
there is no light in the parlor, and
she won't notiee it!" Ben's forte i
in obeying orders. With- a merry
twinkle in his eye he draak the lem
onade, then carried them each a glass
of water, which they drank witb
much apparent relish, asking eaeb
other between sips "if it was sweet
enough TT And naughty brother
Ben, with the taste of that lemonade
in his month, stood out in the hall
and langhed till his sides ached, to
hear tbem assure each other that it
was just right!"
and so refreshing!"
'so palatabU