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About Oregon City enterprise. (Oregon City, Or.) 1871-188? | View Entire Issue (June 19, 1874)
lit hk i i iil ii I i ii 1 1 1 hi hi VOL. 8. OREGON CITY, OREGON, FRIDAY, JUNE 19. 1874. NO. 34. o -- N-r 0. THE ENTERPH1SE. A LOCAL DEMOCRATIC NEWSPAPER 1? O It T II K Farnur, Business 3Ian, i Family I'ircle. ISSUIID EVEKV FRIDAY. A. iXOJLYlISR, El) i TOR AND rUB LIS II Ell. OFFICIAL PAPEH FOR CLACKAMAS CO. " ol'iCn In Ir. TliosKlns's Hrlck, next dxr to John Myers tr up-stairs. Trrmi of Sulsriitioii t BinjU Copy n.. Year, In Advance $2.50 ' Six Months " " l.oU Term- of AJvertUiiijr: Trari'ifiit jtv- nisi inents, iiiclmiin? nil ..-:il initio's, t square oi twelve luifs on'? wei-k lor t-:.;?n iiijvquent ins rtion IM Oil-t oiuinii. one year ltl.nl) "uirt-r - I'M" Uann ii Oird, 1 square, one year l.no SOCIETY XO TICES. )ki:.:on LOIUd' NO. 3, I. I. O.I''., M-.-eis every Thursday -jg-; . oveiiiii'-rat 7 '. o'eloek, ill tin; iv'v M t'cll.jws' Hall, Main ft-' street. Meiiil -ers of the Or der ui-.j invited to attend. By order N.tJ. i!i:i(i:LCA imcni'.i: i.oic;;i o. 3, I. f. . 1'., Meets on the .Soeoi.-.t ana lurtti Tins- LZJkrjf , dav evi-nnigs each month, .r,lg.. .Sr ' l V . o l. i.-iv, in tlie Odd J' lli..'.s' jlall. Mcinhersof the Degree arc invited to attend. ja;":'()MAH i.oit;s; no. i, a. '. ..t A. M.. Holds its regular com- a iiiuiii-Miions on Hie l-'ii.st and -'NX-, 'l'.iu-i i.ilnnliivs iucacii moutli, a- 7 o'clock ii o'in tlu'-'Uii oi Sep. te.n.'M toliie-Xitii of M.ireii : and t t ,.', I ,r.' from. I he -X'lh oi .March to the -j a i i Seju inoer. thcthr.n m good landing are invited to alteiut. i ;v ojner oi ' - 1 r v i . r i n c a m : n t n o. i , i . o. O 1',. Meets at Odd Fellows' o fx 11..U ?nt.e- l n-i ami i o.... . ... v - d.iv ca.-u month, l'.d iiaiei.s ic I jli..'nd'nig are invited to attend. ci.Kii' ;.-.j.viiM:N ' no. i, c. . i , . i ;..... . K. I'. ; M ' ,,ia r iio.s iiao, o iii "v . " ' . I on -NloinutN i . liiiin. ai. t , :nn, rs oi in.- orii.-r ;o ....,;.;. I. Allii' , ' .1 a- 7.V. .1. V. XOllKLS, L. 1 -, ! i v.-i( i v. AM si .:u::n, i a ; ( A' c it y, i: J' ' " -v- u-(.-,.... t'p-Si airs in f'liarman's l'.riek, ,, :K lii-t I-VIlow sT.mpbvornir J 'i.,l .-u .i AH T : reels. lieriiUeiicc Corner oi -iaih .i:ui S''Vriilil sU'eet.-s. V,. Vt. MO 11 el and, ATTORNEY - A T - L A V ; onions city, o:ti-;ox. H. 11 I J K A T, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW ORIGCN. ff-! F KICK fharanvn's l.rick, Main st. jinarlST-:1 i. j o h s o j i &. ai c c o w f J ATTOKLXHVS A.D fOL".SELOKS AT-LAU. Oregon Gity, Oregon. tt-y Will practice in all the Courts of the 8t.it-. Sp 'eial attention given to cases in tin? U. ljind iidiee at Oregon City. oai-rlSTJ-tf. T. B AIM NT, ATTOilNsIY-AT-LAW, OR EC OX CITY, : : OR EG OX. OFF;CK Over Tope's Tin Stfr, Main sfr-?et. .lmarT-i-U. ICE-CHEAM SALOON A X 1 7? r .S T A 17 11 A MT! 1.0 ITS SAAL, Proprietor. M:iin Street, - - - - Oregon City. i: KKAM WILL HE SKUVED FROM .1. am. an. r t Ids date durinir the Nmniiie- a, .n. i . ,.st ,jaiitu.s ()i FilKAi II a,l A.MKKICA.X ( AXDIES. h-.; fur sale in (jiiantities to suit. . T. APPERSO, OFKHT. IX POSTOFKICE BCILDIXG. Lnl lVu,lers Clatkauia, County Or-f-s a i, -I t ity order SOUGHT AND SOLD. NOTAKV inJBLTO. i,,,'1"' n-otiatiO, Collections attended aaa a O.-n -ral lirok. age Ijtismess carried jantUf. JOHN M. BACON, iniw,KTKR AND DEALER WL Oregon City, OrSOii. i,r."-U ''kirinan &. Warner's old stand, , oc- iir-led 1-y S. Aotiernas, M2? at; If . r Vhat are the Rights of Woman I The riirht to labor ami to pray ; The riirht to watch when others sleep; The right o'er others woes to wetp; The riilit to sue -or in distress; The rhrht while others eurse to Mess; The right to love when others scorn ; The right to comfort all that mourn ; The riirht to shed new joy on earth ; The rijzlit to feel the soul's high lirth ; The riirht to lead the soul to (iod, Along the path our Savior trod ; The path of meekness and of love; The path of faith which leads above; The path of pat ence under wrong: The patli in which the weak 'grow strong; Such woman's rights: and God will bless, And crown their Champions with -success. Wallowa Valley open to Settlers. The following letter appears in La Grande Times of last week: United States Senate Chamher, Sl-K, 874. j . ASIIlN(iTON, Mav IS, 18 Hon. Jasies II. Stater Dear Sir I Lave recently received letters from citizens of Union County, inquiring; what the Indian department was going to do in regard to the reserva tion of the Wallowa Valley for Jo seph's bai.tl of Nez l'eiee Indians; and whether the sums of money awarded to the settlers in that valley for their improvements there would be paid. 1 have answered these let ters; but as the subject is one of jceneral iriterst to the whole people of Eastern Oregon, I deem it proper to write to you, so that you way Pfive publicity to the views of the Indian Department on the subject. Some time ago I had a conversa tion with lion. K. 1. Smith, the Commissioner of Indian Affairs, upon this matter, and urged upon him the propriety of rescinding his order setting apart Wallowa Valley as an Indian reservation for Joseph's band of Xez Perces. He then said that probably this would be done, and the. matter might remain then until further notice. On Saturday last I again had an interview, and explained how important it was for those in the valley, and others who intended to go there, that it be de termined id once either to rescind the order establishing the reservation, or make it known that it vonhl be ad holed to, so that the settlers might govern their movements ac cordingly. Tie; Coimiiisio. er then assured me that nothing more would be done toward establishing a reser vation there, and that the settlers in tin; Wallowa Valley would not be m- l".--(ed in any way by the Indian Department. Of course the whole val ey is now open for settknent by Ihi whole people. Id the con versation referred to, the Commis sioner said that having corno to the conclusion to amend the order estab lishing the reservation, lie would uot ask Congress to make an appropria tion to pay tlio sums of money awarded to the settlers some two vcars ago 1 r their improvement made on lands within the boundaries oi tne intended reservation. I asked the Commissioner if he had any objections to my publishing in the newspapers the fact of the ab.mdonm nt, and the relinquish ment of the Wallowa Reserva tion, so that the people might all know what has been done. His reply was (for indeed it could not well lie otherwise) that he ha-1 no objections whatever to my doing so. I congratulate the people of Union county especially on the settlement of this perplexing controversy, and hope no disturbance will hereafter take place with the roving bands of Indians who caused all the trouble and annoyance which lias taken place in regard to that valley. Very truly yours, James K. Kelly. Influence of Newspapers. Small is the sum that is required to patronized a newspaper, and amply rewarded is its patron, I care not how humble and unpretending the gazette which he takes. It is next to impossible to fill a sheet with printed matter without putting into it -something that is worth the sub scription price. Every parent whose sou is away from home at school, should snjM'lv him with a newsnaner. . .... - i 1 well remember what a marked dif ference there was between those of my schoolmates who had, ami those who had not, "acce.s-s to newspapers. Other things being equal, the first were always decidedly superior to the last in debate, composition, and general intelligence. Daniel Webster. Bright Little Oirl. A real inci dent occurred recently on the train between Mount Pleasant and Bur lington, La. A little girl traveling with her parents attracted the atten tion of the passengers by her bright ness. A gentleman went to her seat aud asked her "if she wouldn't like to go home with him," adding that he had a nice little boy tljat she could play with. The little girl's eyes danced and her cherry lips rounded up when she said: "I'm going to have a little brother of my own, the first of November." The old man Milted, the mother blushed, and the passengers giggled. They tell a queer story about the doctors of a certain town, who were all away last summer to attend a medical convention. They were ab sent about two months, and on their return found all their patients had recovered, the drug stores had clos ed, the nurses had opened dancing schools, the cemetery was cut up into building lots, the undertakers had gone to making fiddles, and the hearse had bceu painted and sold for a circus wagon. Josh Billings says: When a young man ain't good for any thing else I like tew see hirn carry a gold-headed cane. If he kan't buy a cane let him part his hair in the joiiddle.. SPI'I'CII OF SUXATOU IIAVAHI). Delivered at theTTemocratic Reun ion at the Manhattan Club K.,oius, eu ork City, May 7ih, 1H7 l. My Fellow-Democrats from almost every State in the Union and from the State of New Jersey (laughter) I esteem it a piece of great good forture.of rare luck for a hard work ed man, that private duty gave me a large portion of the pretext, that my heart earnestly desired, to meet my brethren in political faith to night, when we have so sincere cause for mutual congratulation that we can look each other in the face and look forward not only to a tri umph, but what is better, AX HONEST TRIUMPH, for the whole country, and not for a single party. It is a very pleasant tuil,o gentlemen, to find so sharp a contrast as sitting in a chamber as I have done for manj' months past faced by a bitter partisan majority, and here to find myself, not simply one of the majority, but one in a place where the voices are simply unani mous for the -principles I love and the party I adhere to. (Applause.) I do not propose to be carried away by this excess of the prosperity of the moment; prosperity, if it is to come, is to bring to us a heavy re sponsibility; if we shall have power we have heavy work to do to exercise that power justly. We have had triumphs of no ordinary signiticance in the elections of New Hampshire and Connecticut, that were States connted conlidently against us, and they have been car ried by majorities so emphatic as left no ground to suppose that per sonal reasons affected them, but that it was something more profound that so moved the pulse of that people to declare themselves as they did. AVhat was it moved those people? Sirs, it was nothing less than the in stinctive sense of national self-preservation. The people, THE MASSES OF THIS ("OUXTRY, shrank from the terrible abyss of iladieal misgoveinment that has opened before the feet of the Ameri can people. That is it. Gentlemen, do not let us misunderstand the gravity of this question. It is not simply party names or party succes ses or failures, but I believe it has been the God-implanted instinct of self-preservation that impels them no longer to follow such leadership, that has led us to the unhappy condition where we now find ourselves. Am I stating the case, my fellow-countrymen, too strongly when I say that for the last thirteen years the people of the United States have lived under a real despotism veiled by the forms of republican government? (Cries of "No, no.") FOR THE LAST THIRTEEN YEARS there has been no limitation none of those limitations upon the Govern ment of this country which we need to-day as well as our ancestors need ed them in 177G. All the essential safeguards of the freedom of this people every limitation of the Gov ernment, you can perceive has been cast down and prostrated. -The peo ple to-day feel the effects of this, and the issue which will come about in the campaign of 1S7(J is simply whether we can restore lim ited government because its powers are distributed first in the State, next in the General Government, ami again redistributed by the depart ments'of the General Government; whether we can restore that so that liberty and freedom shall bo rights in America . nd not permissive en joyments, as they have been for the last thirteen years. Every evil thaj alHicts us to-day has its origin first in that fact of the lawlessness of those who are placed in power under the stfict pledge that they should exercise that power. What brought up this vast issue that TOUCHES EVERY MAN S HEARTH in the country the question of spir itless, valueless currency in our midst? It was the departure of this ltadical party from the plain limita tions of the Constitution of the coun try that forbade them to make aught but gold and silver a tender for thtf payment for honest debts; it was their fault in the beginning. Admit that it was a fault commencing in the heat of war, the ashes of which con test I do not wish to disturb, but de sire that they should rest in peace, but it was the act of war repeated in peace that we iiud so infamous and wrong. Why was it when the Su preme Court of the United States, led by the honored and magnanimous Salmon P. Chase, who was willing to say in 1870 that he was wiser than he was in 1863, why was it that the de liberate decision of that Court was not allowed to stand? The heart of the American people approved it. Every lawyer in the land knew it was just and true. And I put it to you here you men of New York, mer chants of this metropolis of the country I put it to you whether the business men of the country were not willing to accept that decision, and thank God it had arrived. Yet what was the result? GROWLS WERE IZEAED from both Houses of Congress, and the President of the United States, who has been so much lauded of late for his acton against inflation, the President of the United States joined with his party in dissatisfaction with that honest decision. He tilled that Court, and his Attorney-General, who stands to-day as the champion of honest currency God save the mark in the Lower House from Massa chusetts, was a man who went before the Supreme Court in order to nrge a rehearing of that question and pro cure a reversal of that decision. Therefore I say that they have pro ceeded in the wrong and persisted in it; end this is trot one jn.atf.er. Gen COURTESY OF TXTUITDCTrnv tlemen, I won't fatigue you by at tempting to run through "the dreary catalogue (invasions of power ; ft would be too long, and they are all fresh in your memories, and besides this is rather an occasion for congrat ulation. Gentlemen, it is not simply that we are to advance once more the standard of the Federal Constitution to its proper place, but there is much more that lies under that. It is that which I am sure the American people will demand from the party who is to receive their confidence ami their suffrages at the next Presidential election. It is not siaiply the restor ation of YOUR WRITTEX CHARTER OF GOVERN MENT, nor the enforcement of the laws; but it is in the restoration of those un written laws which make communi ties responsible and make free gov ernment possible. Those unwritten laws become their foundation in its S personal character of men. It is that parties shall insist that their candidates and rulers shall be at least self-respecting, upright men men of integrity. That is the r-ure, de pend upon it. Look at the melau choly spectacle presented to-tbvy in the State of Arkansas; what see you there? A tangled contest for office, the right of which no man can right fully determine a tangled web of dishonesty and untruth that no man can fathom and say where the right lies. Baxter counted Brooks out of ollice, locks the door, and takes the key. There is a tangled web running through the whole transaction, and no man can say where the right lies. I put this to you, gentlemen. If those two Governors had been self- respecting, plain, honest, upright men would they have been capable of entering into such A CONTEST WITH EACH OTHER ? Is not, therefore, the best safeguard for these things in the charac ter of the men whom, you shall elect to your high oflices? No, gentle men, it is not simply the restoration of the limitationsof our Federal Con stitution; it is not simply' respect for written laws; it is more than that. It is respect for those unwitten laws of the country the laws do not gov ern gentlemen in their intercourse with each other these are the laws that have been disregarded; these are the la.vs that General Grant has taught his countrymen to disuse, and which we Democrats must teach them sixain tg respect. Oh, sirs, there will rest fearful responsibility upon that party which shall succeed the party now in power that they will go to pieces seems almost written on the wall before our faces. Who shall succeed them? Not ji party governed by narrow ideas; not a mere oflice-holder seeking his own PERSONAL AMIilTION. Such men are not the men for the time of 187(; 1S7G must echo 177(. (Applause.) It must lie something untouched, untainted, that will raise your rulers in 1S7G to the true posi tion that they ought to hold, not only before the American people, but before the entire world and be fore their Maker. No mere party line or party policy can dictate it. It must come from something wor thy of the occasion, and the occasion is nothing else than the restoration of the principles of free republican government in these United States of America. Why, gentlemen, you have the past before you. Look at ie condition of the South. I saw a face but just now in this assemblage that brought to my mind one of our sister States a mere captive. I saw the rightful Governor of Louisiana in this room, and I ask you how he can be here a welcome spectator? I ask why he is not there the rightful Governor of that State? It is be cause the- laws and Constitution of the United States have been trodden under foot that John McEnery is not to day in office in Louisiana. (Ap plause.) Gentlemen, that ' is one of the small items that we must right and that we will right, God willing. (Applause.) LOOK AT SOUTH CAROLINA, and say what a task is there for statesmanship. Y'ou know her his tory. I could not recite, and my emotion would forbid me to recite it to you now a broken country, an impoverished people, disorganized finances. Look at -our own city. A band of legalized, organized, and sustained plunderers have enriched, themselves at the expense of the mer c ants, driving commerce from your port. And these things can be done under a government of law. Part of our task in 187 6 is Jirst to secure up right, honest, high-minded men who shall lead our party in the great con test; who shall see that nothing shall be emblazoned upon our banner but those Jiigh principles that every hon est American can and ought to follow and subscribe to. It will not be a question of narrow party triumph; it will be the question of THE TRIUMPH OF HONESTY over dishonesty, of law over lawless ness, of constitutional and civil gov ernment over the principles of de struction and dissolution which this party has wrought upon us. Let no man suppose that his personal iuter.'t in these can have any effect; they must have a wider and purer range ti an that, and we must be governed by no narrow rule to drive from us the men who would join with us in re-establishing constitu tional government in this country. Having high-minded men as leaders we may expect honest administration of government. There must be a convention of all our States to see what the war has brought upon us; and if any portion of our country suffers, if an amendment to the Con stitution will give them relief every man will demand that they shall have these. guarantees. (Applause.) BANCROFT LIBRARY, rTT m -r T-nAt-r A Husband's Confession. "Really Mrs Hoje," exclaimed a maiden friend to the wife of a jour neyman, "I can't make you out at all. Ever since I've come into the house you've smiled and laughed and bustled about as though some stingy old relative had died and left you a lot of money. Is it so?" "No, Alice, it isn't but I'm in good for that," and the happy wife smiled again. ""Then what's put you into such an enviable humor?" "Well, I don't think I ought to tell you so for it is a secret." This rebuff only increased Alice Pain's desire to be enlightened, so she persevered till her friend Mrs. Hope promised to satisfy her curios ity. "The other day," began the wife, "I had to take John's dinner to the oflice and you know, it's one of those queer old buildings with a good many ins aud outs about it." "Yes, yes, I know that Mrs Hope" said Alice impatiently; "but do, be quick and tell me the rest." '"And quite by accident I over heard my husband make a confession to one of the other workmen." 'The wisest thing you can do, Harry, I heard John say, "is to get acquainted with a healthy, sensible, industrious young woman and mar ry her. I was as poor and miserable and as lost-like as a young fellow well could be before I got my little gem of a wife, often without a six pence when pay-day came and couldn't tell how the money slipped through my ringers. Like you, I went in for pleasure and enjoyment, but I never remember to have felt the better for it afterward. In fact you may take my v. ord for it Harry, that most of that sort of thing is humbug and selfishness. At least, I found it so. and it's a wonder you hav'nt before now. Talk about turn ing over a fresh leaf, keeping steady and saving np-the only way to do that Harry, is to get a good active wife and love her with all your might as i do. Though poor and plain I'm never ashamed to bring anybody in to my little cot, because I know it's always clean and orderly7. Then there's the children, God bless 'em! how they warm a man's heart after a long day's work! And how cheer fully and quietly their mother man ages to keep- things straight and right and cuts about like just what she is one of the best of wives aud a real workman's friend. Get a help mate llarrv. and depend upon it if she's of the right kind you'll soon lie a better richer and, happier man. You may think I'm speaking too warmly on the subject but I assure you I feel more than I can put into words. Good wives are our noblest and best reformers, Harry; and though I never told her so to her own sweet face, mine is worth a lit tle fortune to Jack Hope." "I dare say what you've told me's all true enough." I heard the man remark but where can I find a gem of the same pattern? They're rather scarce now a days." "1 didn't hear what answer ray husband made, for just then the door near which I had been standing, and which stood a little ajar was pulled wide open and I walked into the place as though I hadn't heard a word. On seeing me they both laughed, but I didn't appear to know anything of their conversation." "And is that all?" asked Alice ! Taine. ' "Yes aud if you'd felt as I have many a time, you would know that it was quite enough to fill my heart with gladness. At home my husband dosen't talk much," she continued, "and I used to fancy that with all my slaving and trying to make him and the children comfortable, he wasn't satisfied. But I know now that he is, and it makes me feel as if I could do any thing for my dear John and our own little home." "Well, if ever I get a husband Mrs. Hope," said Alice in a whisper, "I'll strive to deserve "being called behind my back as Mr. Hope called you." In short time the two friends sep arated; his fellow-workman took John's advice; and, without relating particulars, or asserting that the Hopes had nothing to do with what followed, "Harry" chose Alice Paine for a helpmate. Pedro. This is a new game of cards recently introduced in the State of Nevada. The game counts high, low, jack game, one point each ; pedro. five points; puzzle five points; Columbus, three points; and Van Winkle three points. The five trumps is pedro, aud when caught or saved counts five points to the player takit-g it in; puzzle is the five of the suit of the same color as the trump, and counts five; Columbus is the nine of trumps, and counts three; and Van Winkle is the jack of clubs, and counts four points, re gardless of what may be trumps. In all 2i points may be made in one hand. A cubic inch of gold is worth one hundred and forty-six dollars; a cubic foot of gold is worth fifty-two thousand two hundred and eightv eight dollars; and a cubic yard, six millions eight hundred and eleven thousand seven hundred and seventy six dollars. The quantity of gold now in existence, estimated to be three thousand millions of dollars, could be contained in a cube of twentv-three feet. Chief State Engineer Thompson writes to Gov. Kellogg, of Louisiana that 3,(KX),000 cubic yards of levee will le required to be built to save the State from the river overflow next year, and that Louisiana cannot pay for the construction of more than one- third. He suggests an appeal for national aid. White Slaves of Lhi gland. Under the above head the New Y'ork World gives from its London correspondent, some account of the w orking classes of England. He has been looking over the report of tho Inspectors of Factories for the last year. The Inspector visited the brick-makers, and they rejort that those laborers are "a most barber ous, semi-civilized, ignorant set. Men and boys look like red Indians; the sand used in brick-making being burn, red, their bodies are covered with it. They work bareheaded, barefooted, with exposed breasts, and w ith wild looks. Drinking all day Sunday, Monday and Tuesday dog-fight ng aud man-fighting, they resume work on Wednesdays, when j tue poor little unfortunates (that is, the childrm of both sexes, who are made to di the hardest part of the labor) are made to toil away, stamp ing aud carrying, and pressing a good fortnight's work into three or four days. One man, who last week earned in four days twenty-eight shillings (S1? d0 in gold), took his wife home a loaf of bread and six pence." The law that children under 12 years of age must not be made to work is systematically disregarded. Cases are given where children ten or twelve yems old are made to do night work, and hare but seven hours of the twenty-four for sle.q and meals. These reports from the brick works are bad enough, but what can we i-ay of the stories that cjme from the salt works at Droil wich? In these the women work with the men all night, both sexes stripped to the waist, and very little to cover them below. The men wear short breeches simply, and the women have oa only a single gar ment, a skirt, tied about the waist and reaching to the knees. The scenes nightly enacted in these works are said to be horrible beyond description, and chastity, morality and decency are, among the workers, words destitute of meaning. This is a brief glimpse into the con dition of the toiling masses of the " proudest ami most enlightened na tion upon the globe," the country upon which the sun never sets. Every true Brittain's heart will prob ably swell with pride at the view. England sends, year after year, ler wealth and her missionaries to other hinds, to assist and educate and clot'ie and civilize the heathen, while her own flesh and blood at home is living in destitution, misery and :h.i:ie. This is tho "finest peasantry in the world'' of which England boasts. Let the American working I eople turn from the jictnre, view their own condition and be happy. " Dogology." A little dog belonging to a gentle man, residing near Stony Brook, Long Island, was in the habit of fol lowing his master's wood-wagon to the landing, some three miles dis tant. One day he was set upon and roughly handled by a large dog be longing to a resident in the next village. The next day, though lame sore and bruised, the little dog per sisted in accompanying the wood wagon again. When the wagon started, the large farm dog was also found to be moving along quietly under it. He was never known to follow the wagon-team before. The teamster attempted to drive him back, 'but he refused to return. The little dog led the way, limping and brooding over his wrongs. He y as also contemplating the -sweetness of revenge, and gloating over its near accomplishment. When he reached the place where he had re ceived his ill treatment the day be fore, he limped up to where his enemy lay basking in the sun in the front yard, and snapped and snarled through the pickets in a most tantal izing manner. Thinking to repeat the chastisement of the day before, the village dog leaped over the fence, but only to encounter the large farm dog who had been watching the pro ceedings from under the slow-moving wagon, and who now came rush ing to the rescue. The village dog was nearly killed before they could be separated. The large farm dog left the party after the fight and re turned home. He had come only f r the purpose of aiding his little friend to obtain revenge. The little wretch was almost inhuman in his airs of triumph, and in his expres sions of gratified malice. By what process, think you, did tho little dog communicate his wrongs, or plan with his big canine friend this well concocted scheme of retaliation? The following is the conclusion of a loving romance between a Tennes see dry goods clerk and a gum chew ing belle: They met alas? -what came to pass was soft and sweet and precious; they wooed, they cooed, he talked, she chewed O, how they loved, good gracious! They had to part, lie rose to start; her grief can not be painted; these are the facts; she swallowed her wax, then scream ed, then choked, then fainted. Her pa appeared, her beau quite scared pushed out to get eome water; the water; the watch-dog spied his ten der hide, and bit him where he "oughter." The tale is sad, the sequel stern so thinks the yonth thus bitten. He sings no more, as oft of your he gave that girl the mitten. She pined apace, her pretty face looked slender and dejected; her father kind, but somewhat blind, beheld her and reflected. His in come tax he spent for wax she smiled and called him clever. She went to work, forgot that clerk, and chawed in bliss forever. J. Bafeman. PItti aud Point, Are babies kidnapped when they are 4 cribbed?" Letting off sleep" is a little definition of snoring. boy'a Tailor measuring at customer.- "Would you hold the end while I go round?" Why are clergymen like railway porters? because they da a good deal of coupling, . " ' e Smirkins looked at a painting of pig and pleasantly asked: " Who i that pigment for?" A schoolboy's aspirations " I wish I wore a fountain that I might be always playing. It is stated that in New York there are fifteen preachers whose salaries average 15,000 per annum. Wealth gotten by vanitycand deceit shall diminish; but he that gather ttii by his labor shall increase. A Hoboken editor, being challeng ed sent word in reply: "When I O want to die I can shoot myself." "He handled his gun carelessly. and put on his angel, plumage," is the latest Western obituary notica. A wonderfully scientific young man has nau ocular uemonsirauon of a sound; he has seen his bed tick. It is one of the curiosities of nat ural history that a horse enjoys his food most when he hasn t a bit in his mouth. The man who aang Gh, breathe o no more that simple air," went into the smoking-car where it was mora mixed. Wanted to know The length of the Kule of Three; how many days in the March of Intellect; the width of a broad hint. An Iowa man has sued a woman for calling him" a "skunk," and the virdict of the jury was "Not guilty, but if she was we'd clear her." A lady suggests that when men's hearts break, it is the same as when a lobster breaks one. of his claws another immediately sprouts in its place. Artemus Ward once observed that he approved of temperance hotels, although he thought as a rule they sold worse liquor than any other kind. Getting born oot-ts the people of the United States '220,oy5,000 annu ally; getting married, 250,000,000; getting buried, 873,689,450; total, 543,7S4,450. An uncle left eleven silver spools to his nephew in his will, adding: He knows the reason I Uave not left him the whole. dozen. The nepher had stolen one. The word "hymeneal" is now so commonly used by provincial papers in reference to weddings, that births q are shortly to be headed "Crymen- eal and deaths "Dimeneal. Ex-Senator Doolittlo, once so prominent in national politics, and an able man, has accepted the per manent presidency of the Chicago University. Salary 5,000 a year, A cynical writer says: "Take a company of boys chasing butterflies; put long-tailed coats on tho boys, and turn the butterflies into dollars, and von have the panorama of the worhJ," Lynch law Is probably based on the spirit of an old saying. When desperadoes abound, honest people surrender to t'aeir leaders an "vnch," and then they take an ' L" and make a code called " Lynch Law." An Irish post-boy having driven a gentleman a long stage during tor rents of rain, the gentleman civilly said to him, " Paddy are you not very wet?" " Arrah, I Vlon't care about bein very wet, but piaze your honor, I'm very dry" An eclitor in a small town in Illin- ois, who attended an apple pearing, became imbued with the whirl of society, and this is how it affected him; "We are in the midst of the season for parties, mirth, . nd festiv ity. The rosined hair of the horse travels merrily over the intestines of the agile cat, evoking music to which the impatient feet trip.gayly upor the floor. An Irishman having accidentally broken a pane of glass in a window of a house was making the best of his way to get out of sight, but, nn fnrtnnatelv for Pat. the Drourietor stole a march on him, and having seized him by the collar, exclaimed: "Didn't you break that window?" "To be sure I did," replied Pat, "and didn't you see me running home for the money topay for it?" Of happiness all day and all night long on East Side the last Plain Talk has the following sample: "We know of a young married man who thinks so much of "his lovely wife that he o lights a candle two or three times everv night to look at her. Then he quietly goes to sleep and chuckles in his dreams like a turkey gobbler. He feels so good. Young man, if you are not married get married at once! "Not Likelt." The Cincinnati Commercial thinks it is not likely that either Senator Clayton or Dor sev will pav any attention to the res olutions of the 'Arkansas Legislature calling upon them to resign. It says: "It is possible high minded and sen sible men, having lost in a desperate game to control the State, would heed the request of the Legislature, and send in their resignations. But it is to be inferred from the p ist hisr tory of these Senators that they are nni nt thft sort to whom sncb auali. fying wwds fitly aply'," o o o it O G o o O O o