When a fuel famine meets a enow
blockade It's a case of double trouble.
In order not to lose sight of your
object tn life. It may be well to have
one that Is not too far away
"The flneat clothing la a person‘a own
akin." saya Mark Twain. And we
might add that It la a good fit.
If "exaggerated ego" la a aympt«^
of Insanity, maybe amne of our polltl
dans are more to he pitied than blamed
Russia claims to be in worse condl
tion than It was a year ago. although
at that time It was bolding the world's
record.
The Philadelphia man who bad a
lump of coal removed from bls bralu
must have been glad to get the matter
off his mind.
A lot of the twst people In the world
never get their names In the newspa
pars except when friends from out of
town visit them.
Valparaiso seems to have pulled
through her earthquake experience
without developing either a prominent
grafter or a conspicuous fool.
The eternal fitness of things gets an
awful jolt when one encounters a
woman clerk In a hardware store or a
man clerk in a millinery shop.
At any rate, the Increased cost of
living has put out of business the man
who used to write those plausible arti
cles on "How to Live on Thirty Cents
a Day."
Andrew Carnegie has given *4O.dtX)
for a swimming pool at Yale. But
Andy s name is not merely to be writ
In water. It will be blown In the bricks
at the side of tbe pool
A Philadelphia man wants a divorce
because his wife would rather go shop
ping than eat The wife can defeat
him If she will only set up the plea
that she Is an average woman.
There Is living In Texas a woman
who can travel for fifty miles in one
direction without stepping from her
own land. She ought to be able to get
along without scolding her neighbors
much.
A Washington man who never be
fore believed In tbe "thirteen” hoodoo
Is mourning tbe loss of a *13 overcoat,
which has been stolen twice. Here
after he will probably purchase only
those marked down to *12.99.
A London professor has been count
ing tbe germs that were picked up by
a woman who dragged her skirt
through tbe street He found lfLSoO.-
000 of them. We are authorized. how
ever. to say that be did not take tbe
trouble to name them all.
An Indiana man has secured a di
vorce with the provision tbat he may
not marry anyone but his former wife
until after thirty years from the time
of tbe granting of the decree. Such
divorces are not likely to become very
popular in New York social circles.
Maine Is to have the distinction of
possessing a factory owned and run by
Indiana Sabatls Shay and Newel Ban
co. full-blooded Indiana recently pur
chased the necessary land, and are to
erect a building for tbe manufacture
of canoe paddles and cant-dog bandies
—articles which demand absolute fidel
ity In manufacture, since on their trust
worthiness the safety of life may de
pend. Tbe stenographer and typewrit
er of the firm Is a young Indian girl, a
graduate of a high school and business
college, who can write both In her na
tive language and In English.
It must be highly Interesting for a
man to sit up In bed and watch a sur
geon cut off bis leg witbout feeling It,
but that Is what has been done In Eu
rope for some time past by the new
procese of "spinal anesthesia.”
The
lower part of the spine Is anesthetized
with coaalne and that paralyses tbe
lower part of the body, so tbat it ma»
be backed to pieces without pain. This
process has just Iron lntr-iduced In
this country by a Milwaukee physician,
and It Is a little astonishing that it has
not been Introduced sooner. s«-e!ng tbat
It has been In use In France and Ger
many for almost two years.
The test made near Cleveland re
cently of tbe question whether engi
neer» are In the habit of running past
danger signa lx la conclusive as to tbe
fact It la said that tbe twenty-four
engineers who disregard«! tbe signals
will tx> discharged. That discipline will
protmbly be necessary to convince the
engineers that railroad management la
in earnest about having them stop
when the Blgnals call for It But tbe
managers should not lay tbe uncthxi
to their souls that this will convince
tbe public that tbe bad practice has
be«1» tbe engineers' fault Engineers
are not so fond of courting death or
so wholly controlled by the speed mad
ness as to run past danger signals un
less they have reason to believe It Is
expected of them. It need not be pre
sumed that they were definitely In
structed to commit this violation of tbe
rules of safety. But there Is every na
non to suspect that they were required
to make time and subjected to dlsfsvor
If they did not make it In such ways as
to practically compel them to do so.
The ease with which the generous
Intentions of a teats tor may be frus
trated and tbe uncertainty which at
tends the making of a will even by an
experienced lawyer are illustrated In
tbe case of tbe late Judge Edward M.
Paxson of Philadelphia. Judge Paxson
died In 1900 and among bls bequests
was a large tract of land and a sum
of money, tbe whole amounting in val
ue to nearly a million dollars, which
be Intended abould be applied to tbs
founding and maintenance of a horn
for boys, where farming ami garden I n
were to be taught them. This will wa
«et aside the other day. the courts a
firming that the Judge died Intestai
because bls will «Io« not roilform t
tbe provisions of ttw* law. Judge l‘nv
son was on the Supreme bench of IVnv
«ylvanla for fifux'ii years. For a «xvn
»Iderable part of that time he «»
chief Justice. He had been judge li
lower courts and his entire active Ilf
had been devotixt to th«' pra«-tlce. « hi
forveuwnt. and Interpretation of law
During hla kmg carver h«* probably ha,
drawn up many wills ami pronoun,-«
upon tbe validity of many. He vet
talnly should have been competent t
execute a will properly ami ought t
have been an expert at th«« busln«««
but three lawyers, whom prolxibly h
had many times Instruct«! In ix«lnts o
taw. have succeed«! In show lug that 1»
either did not know bow to make i
will which wouhl realat brv'aklng o
else that be waa thoughtless In th
making. Ills will waa invalidated. a
It did not have tbe names of two wit
n«*sm*s. ami the large prv|x>rty whlcl
was to have been devoted to a mos
beneficent and useful charity will lx
divided among the heirs, Of course I
is most extraordinary that a man Ilki
Judge Paxson. of unusual legal attalu
mentsandof unusually large experiemx
in practice and upon tbe bench, sbouh
have made such an error In his las
testament, but so have other great law
yers. like Samuel J. Tilden, for in
stance. all of which g>x*s tv show tha
a man may reach tbe hlgh«*st stat lot
in hla profession and yet In tbe slrnpl«
performance of a duty which he hai
done over and over make a mistake ol
the most momentous kind, and show
himself fallible where be should hav«
been tbe coutrary. It also demonstrate*
that a learned Judg«« mar decide wisely
and In accordance with the forms ol
law for others and act u.ost unwtsely
ami unjudiclally in tbe direction of hb
own affairs. Tbe moral. [X'rhapa, h
that mistakes might be arold«'d am'
legal technicalities es.-aped by carrying
out «me's wishes while living whlct
will also enable one not only to carry
ont the wish but to see that It Is car
ried out properly.
WHALE MEAT FOR FOOD.
X«**foa»41cid,ra
Have
Foo ad
Palatable aad Cheap.
It
Whale meat Is coming on the market.
Tbe flesh of tbe deep sea leviathans
looks and tastes so much like beef that
the difference is scarcely noticeable,
says the Ottawa Free 1’ress. It la so
cheap that If competition makes It
:.e-vssary It can be sold for a cent a
pound and still leave a margin of profit.
There is as much meat on a 70-ton
w hale as on 200 fat steers
Tbe meat may be a little course In
quality, but It Is claimed to be as nu
tritious as beef. Tbe company which
la preparing whale meat for the mar
ket has already sold several lots to
merchants In the West Indies, and tbe
poor natives have bought it without
hesitation. It is really better food than
they hare been accustomed to buying.
If ft were not for preju«llce It Is cer
tain that the consumption of whale
meat would have been universal before
this, because It Is both nourishing and
cheap.
Tbe whale stations In Newfoundland
are the first to attempt to save all por
tions of tbe sea monster, and by so do
ing have doubled Its value. Formerly
tbe blubber was cut away, and then
the carcass set adrift, but now the en
tire body Is saved. Including even the
bones and blood. One of these modern
stations will dispose of four 70-ton
whales In twenty four hours, having tbe
oil ready for shipment In barrels, the
meat Incased In casks, and tbe blood,
bones and refuse reduced to powder
and packed In sacks.
This is extraordinary when the size
of the prey Is taken Into consideration.
Specimens are frequent that measure
eighty feet long, and It has been found
tbat ,ue largest ones will always weigh
a ton for every foot of their length.
There are certain parts of a whale that
are strangely out of proportion. Al
though Its body and mouth are enor
mous, Its eyes and throat are exceed
ingly small.
As a matter of curiosity the various
organs of a large sulphur whale were
weighed recently. Tbe tongue tipp«!
tbe scales at exactly 4.<XM> pounds,
while tbe eye was barely half a pound
In weight The Jawbone was twenty
feet long, and one side of It weighed
1,000 pounds Tbe tongue boiled sep
arately produced nearly four barrels
of oil.
Although the mouth Is almost wide
enough to encomi>aM a box car. the
throat Is so narrow that only tbe small
est particles of food can be swallowed,
hence tbe big creatures subsist alto
gether on tiny shrimp and little fishes.
However, there Is one species—tbe
sperm whale—which has an opening
big enough to accommodate even larg
er objects than tbe body of a man. It
Is not unusual to find portions of an
octopus weighing several tons when tbe
stomach of one of th««m Is dissect«!.
LOST—A NEW WORLD FRONTIER
« axadlaM Nersbweal la a Healaa at
<4r*at < iiNtrmf«,
BEWARE THE SILENT MAN.
By 1:11a K. Dtarborn
lnetlnctlvely otw dlatruata a silent peroM,
and (hit 1» well, for there la no |XHudb|llty of
understanding them, and It la doubtful If they
understand themselves.
1'lielr el leave leads
you to w rong roneluolone. They know thia,
but are too elam like to say a word that will
set you straight, even though tliey are the
on<*s to lx* Injured by an error In your ju<lg.
went \ u struggle to Interpret their alienee
aright. It may be shyness tliough not likely. It may be
aullenuess but what about?
If you have deluded yourself with the Idea that there
Is a warm heart under tire ley exterior and a teeming
brain veiled by alleuee, away with the delusion, for a
warm heart will make Itself manifest, am! the aetlve
bralu will not be found by alleuee. Thoughts find their
way Into words. Just as surely as the river Unde the
ocean. No matter how gnat a saerlrtee you may make
In onler to do an aet of kindness to a silent man or
woman, a distressful stare Is the token of acroptancev
and you do not know whether the silent one Is struggling
to express thanks or is try Ing not to kill you for your
otHelousnesa.
These people have not stamina enough to be either very
good or very lutd. They are unreliable lu a business way
and socially they are bores and nuisances, aud the wife
of a silent men Is always unhappy; all efforts to please
him are met with that Impenetrable alienee that hurts
worse than a blow, and yet. since be has not beateu his
wife with his lists or a club, in* would claim to be kind.
S|«eech Is natures S|<ev'lal gift to man. all other facul
ties are shared In common with lower animals; to man
kind alone Is given th«' power of clothing thoughts In
words S iems' but thinly veilsone's lack of thought. Be
ware of th«' silent person!
CLASS DISTINCTIONS IN CHURCH.
By Bishop Potter.
I deplore the formation of castes
lu communities, tlw dividing of peo
pie into little cliques who aff<*ct to
be superior to those outside them.
Ttie attitude of the t'brlstiau Church
should be—to disregard all questions
of casts, the point w here our rellglou
differs greatly from all other great
systems of theology, doctrine aud
philosophy Is that all p«*ople are
alike In the sight of God. There Is
no place for cast«* and caste dlstiuc
tlons in the Christian Church, yet.
BlSHCr roTTtM.
unfortunately. It is fast grow tug here
In America. You will hear wotMen ami men tell you not
so much »1» they know aud with «iwrn they associate
as those whom they will not or do uot care to know. It
Is a ridiculous condition here In democratic America.
The people who are thus cousl«lere«l "Impossible" are not
so from any evil Hue; they are simply “not of our set."
Such an idea and such a system has no place in this land.
I want you to consider a minute bow different this
spirit Is from that which a<tuate«l the character of Him
whose funeral procession In the Holy Land to-«lay Is
much the same as was that one when our Lord raise*!
the son of the widow of Nalu. It meant a loss of caste, a
defilement to touch a dead person; yet our Lord not only
• FIGHTING BOB" EVANS.
CawaMew
the Cast.
"Aren't you sorry that so many peo
ple have to bang on to your old car
straps?” asked the citizen of tbe street
railroad director.
"I suppose I ought to be,” was tbe
response , "they cvrtalDly do wear 'em
out!”—Yonkers Rtateeman.
Every man thinks bls love Is Pure
and Ideal, but tbat the love of other
men Is not only dangerous, but very
funny.
SOCIAL PROGRESS DEPENDS ON INDIVIDUAL.
By Jeremiah »V. Jenks
We may m>t exjwct an Immevllate revolution
lu moral Ideals or lu business prsethva lint
we may ho|X' for steady Improvement Meas-
uns suggested favor greater publicity In bust,
nena management In itself a measure of re
form.
Tile principles of bualness hold also In poli
ties. The time Is coming when deception and
trickery lu diplomacy will no longer pay. when
cruelty ami unacrupulousiiesa In luteruatlomil relations
place a nation at a disadvantage. The prosperity of the
nation, as of the Individual or of the corporation. la In
th«* long run secured not by hostile measures but through
ttw closely linked «ommervlal and am-lal Intercourse lu
times of peace amt friendship.
Among nations, as among business corporations, we
may see that In the long run. If the moral iwntlmeiita of
Individual eltlreus are right, moral practices pay. Tire
ultimate r«'«|'onslblllty rests with us as Individuals; and
th«' outlook for the future Is ho|>eful. The evils clearly
must lx* se«-n twforo the rennsiy can lx* found. Many of
tlx* evil deed» of the last few years have Ixx-u committed
because. under th«* changing conditions. tlw nature of these
evils has fas'll clearly seen. There Is still, however, much
more to do for each of us lu the way of seeing more
clearly the application of tlw simple old fashioned prin
ciples of private honesty to th«* great transactions of cor
poratO business, aud to the still greater problems of
statesmanship.
GREAT WEALTH NOT MENACE TO NATION
By Henry C/ows.
Iwt us bear In mind that the vast Individual
fortunes of Americans are nearly all self made
and In the hands of men who b**gnn life In
|u«>r circumstances, amt that moat of the most
successful men In business are those who poo-
sesa high character, as well as remarkable ca
pacity. great thrift, and other gm»l qualities;
au«i that meu of this ty|x> with great wealth
havi* never proved a menace to the public wel-
far«'. New laws could tie enacted to prevent the evil and
dissolute use of Inherited wealth. So d«*ep a rouvlctlon
have I that a proimr ronae of r«*s{x>nslbillty cornet only
with earning ami saving wealth, that I often have
thought It a meet and Just way for a man to distribute
an estate by first providing for his family ami then di
viding the remainder among the employe» who hail
nerved him faithfully and aided him to amass bls for
tune.
ARIZONA'S GREAT DAM NEARING COMPLETION.
Reporf (hat 11« Via»« Soon Ral»e the
V^hite Flatt
tn
Life*«
Battle.
The report tbat Admiral Bob Evans
Is about to retire from the navy be
cause of ill health has sent a throb of
sympathy and regret through the coun
try. Scores of telegrams and even ca
blegrams have been received at the
navy department asking as to the truth
of the report, aud expressing high r«r
gard for "Fighting Bob.”
Robley Dunllngson was the name
given him at bls birth, Aug 18, 1M«I.
over 00 years ago. But he is "Fighting
Bob" to tbe American people.
He Is a born fighter. At 6 he was
Handling a gun. At 13 be was on bis
way across the western plains to ac
quire a residence at Salt Lake City.
He bad been promised an appointment
to Annapolis If be became a resident
of the L'tah city.
On the way the emigrant train was
attacked by Indlpns.
“Bob” was
warned to stay under cover when tbe
fight began. When the Indians bad
been beaten back an arrow pinning
Bob's right leg to tbe mule be rode
showed bow he had obeyed the order.
He bad been In the thickest of the me
lee. Tbe arrow had to be cut between
bis leg and the pony's side before be
could dismount.
When the Civil War broke out young
Tbe *4.1 X j O.OOO Tonto dam and reservoir—one of the most marvelous en-
Evans, then at Anua|>olla, bad a heart ghteerlng feats ever attempted—la being completed at Roosevelt, Arlz., In the
racking problem to decide. Ills mother heart of nature's wonderland. Towering mountain» and wild, rocky can
was an ardent MX-esslonist His broth yons that have stood for ages almost unknown to man are being fitted Into
er did not hesitate but douued tbe a harness of rock and masonry.
Tonto dam will hold In < hwk the largest artificial body of water In tbe
world a lake 25 miles long, with an average width of
miles. This store
of water will sane day change StiO.iMX) acres of desert Into a veritable fairy
land. Any fruit, vegetable or grain that will grow In the semi-tropical region
thrives on Arizona's deserts—but only when there Is water to Irrigate It.
The Tonto reservoir Is on Salt River about seventy miles from Phoenix.
Work has been progressing upon this great project four years. The total esti
mated cost Is about *4,(XMi,(X)0. The project was one of th«, first taken in
band by the engineers of the L'nlted States Reclamation Service.
X»t«t (Sv Srmptoma.
A little giri went for tbe first time to
church with her mother. All went well
during the service, but the child grew
un«?asy during tbe sermon, which was
a long one. The mother tried in every
way to keep tbe little girl quiet, but in
vain. Finally tbe child observed tbat
tbe preacher bad a pompous way of In
flating his chest and lungs at a new
paragraph or bead. Just as the mother
was assuring the child tbat tbe preach
er would soon stop, be did—for anoth
er start—and tbe tired child burst out
on ber mother's sssurance, "No. be
won't; he’s swelling up again.”—Wom
an's National Dally.
stv'pixxl th«< provviodou rather than passing down a aide
street. as we would I**' apt to do. but actually took the
dead youth by the hand, risking what meant much to
au Oriental. On tlw other hand, we have a list of thoae
we do not care to associate with, because they «Io not
In-long to our |>artleular class of society.
Never has there teen a time when there was greater
maxi of a more enllghteuevl ami a more Christian way of
living Comlltlona lu America are such that It la Im
inwalble to follow the Ideas of the founders of the laud.
The early Puritans ha«l certain Ideas which would lx* alm
ply ludicrous were we to try to live up to litem. We
must add new standards.
gray. But Bob d<x-l<l«l to cast his lot
with the ones who bad educated him,
although bls mother sent bls resigna
tion to tbe Federal government.
His fighting spirit waa vividly Illus
trated In tbe assault on Ft Fisher,
January, 1W21. Twice be was wound
ed and fought on.
A third bullet
pierced bls knee and he fell helpless.
A sliarpsbooter kept pegging away at
him. A bullet tore off of bls toes.
The Ire of tbe wounded man was
aroused, and grabbing bls own rifle, he
shot bls enemy dead.
It was well for Evans after that
battle that be had a strenuous spirit.
When he was taken to tbe hospital It
was d«-lded tbat both his legs must
be amputated. Bob heard the d«-lslon
and that night arm«l himself with a
revolver, which be bld under bls pil
low.
Next day when physicians broke
their views to him tbe wounded youth
Tliv day In th«» Canadian Nurthw^at
I n oih » of wntraat, m iyw >'iin»raon I lougli
In Outing
Pliv tt’.x'v »till »lamia la»
«Ido tin» new ninintluii of the rviil
tut«» agent. The |M»id rmw of tin*
Creo* aiv bold clone to th»» «¡dandld
Irhlng park at th«* eapltnl of what you
and I tlH*ught nut tin* frontier. I.a
eroaav Nurvltiw. but *lth It |H>I<». Y ou
not a bundt«» of silver foi aklna ««»»rtli
MO.UUO; but ttiw merchant do«»« not care
for that; be want« to show you wheat
and <mt llehta. tla* cro|M* taller than
your head. 'rh«*y tell you of hunting
groundN to th«* far north full of ap|»oal
to th«* aiheiiturvni. hut they ad«l that
a railway la building to l.ae lu llleln*
an«l an«»ther to lludaon’a Bay; and they
add euaually that If tbe groat bay aba 11
pro««* to»» k»y for wluter tranapurtatlou
of tbtMH* nillllona of buabrla of grain
to England. th«*n they will build a n»ad
from Ita <*uat *hore nci \» mn t'ngavn amt
l»abrador. Ami th«rm* thing« tln*y will
do! Hut what la the frontl«*rY Among
th«* gi«vn |H»|»l:iiN which vnfoht what
w* tl*«»ught waa to remain forever th«»
wtndNW«*pt capital of tla* fur trail«*
ah«»w now many tenta. »«orea of tla»m.
rtH»y are tin* toiita not of t’lwa ami
ltrvo<lN. but of n«»w net tiara who haw
not bad Ilin«* t«» build their houa«*«.
Wlhl fowl «till hraoda thereabout; but
cloae t»i the wlhl lake« ax aial billhook
»re cultlug away the buah an«| «»penlug
up tin* rich black ant! for farms.
Hut w I a» re 1« tin» frulltlsr? They
«bow you pictures of th«* old lludaon*«
Hay Company's »tor«»« of otla*r days
and tell you of low r«M*f«*d r«N»ms.
Nnn»ky ami flllt»d with a Jumble of fur«
ami «log harneaa ami gaudy cloth«*« for
the native trade; yet wh«»n you And the
Ihidson'a Hay Company’s stores today,
you dlmwer window« Ailed with lin
gerie from l*arla, picture hats and
tK»ots of dainty make as thoa«» of Broad
way’, gl«»x
for gentle hands, silk»*,
furs and dm» llm*n« Alas, for th«» llml
sou’s Bay (Vmpany; It catars no more
to Pie hue. the Kaqulmaui hello, but
to Estelle and Ang«»llne from Ontario,
Katie and B«*aa from th«» Atatra and
Mary and Nora from over arsa.
pull«l the gun. “You will never take
off my legs while I have a bullet left,"
was bls ultimatum. They didn't think
then that It was absolutely necessary.
In 1891 Evans gained bls title of
"Fighting Bob.' He was In command
of tbe little Yorktown at Valparaiso.
Chile. It needx! but the drop of a hat.
it seemed, to start war between that
country and the t'nlted States. Evans
waa In tl>e liartx>r, facing ten forts and
the Chilean fled. lie took on bls ship
the refugees from the American lega-
jlon In tbe troth of tbe protests of the
Chilean government. More than that,
he kept them safe and bluffed the en
tire fleet and all tbe forts by calmly
threatening to <qx>n fire. The world
lead of It gas|s-d In slicer admiration
of tbe nerve of It—and he became
"Fighting Boh" forever.
Evans eomnrinded the Iowa at the
battle of Santiago and was In tbe thick
of tbe scrap tbat destroyed the Span
ish fleet.
He was always quick to mrot an
emergency. While dining the German
emjieror on board the Columbia, at
tbe opening of the Klei canal, lie told
the emperor all of tbe watertight doors
In tbe ship could be closed In thirty
serond*. To make good he ordered
the signal blown on the siren. There
wasn't enough »team and tbe emperor
laugh«!. Evans quickly turn«l In bls
seat, pushed the general alarm buttons,
aud In a minute and a half the doors
were closed.
Wag nt Phllanthropg.
A Indy who was recently appointed
a visitor to a hospital for cblidrt i,
fearing that p<s>r children failed to re
ceive tbe same nttentlou bestowed on
those of richer parents, paid her first
visit to the Institution, Intending to
effect a change. In a ward she found
a tiny boy quite alone, lie Inform«!
her Hint there was another ls>y In the
ward, but that be was Ix'lng examined
before n clinic. The lady l<>ok«l
around her for evidence of neglrot
on tbe part of tbe attendants. A suit
of clothes lily liuddl«! on a chair. Fold
ing them in an orderly manner, she
said:
"Hurely. my dear, these trousers are
too long for you by several Inches.”
"Yes, ma’am," replied the boy.
“A cfn and a aliame," crl«l she, and
took a “companion” from her bag. Hhe
sat down and cut off the legs of the
garment and hemmed the «Igos.
"Now,” »lie said, triumphantly, when
the task wan complete, "they will tit
you better."
"The other boy's taller than me,” re
plied tbe child. "They ts-long to him.”
"Johnny,** said the ttmeber of the
Juvenile clasN. **dt*fine ‘ostentation.* ’*
It’s th«» way our neighbors show* off,"
unawerv«l Johnuy.
••Tonun!«»,** queried the visitor, "how-
do you stand In s«*booi th«Me daysK’
"In the comer moat of the time,*' re
pik'd truthful Tommie.
Vncle Bob Jotiunlr, If you could
have your way wia> would you rather
be than any one els«» In the world?
Johnnie Just me, I gur**» If | could
always have my way.
Visitor How- many a!«t«»rs have you.
Ned? Ned (age»! 0) Only one. Via-
Itor- Why. I thought you had two?
Ned--Well, I’ve gut two half si »tors,
but tbat only makes one w tmlv one.
Small Tommy Our teacher whlpi»ed
a twiy to-day fur whlN|»erlng, but It
dldu’t do auy good. Mamma Why not?
Small Tommy ’CnuNe It made him h<»l
ler teu times louder than be wbls
pered.
A little 3-j«»arold awoke on«» morn
lug and gated In wonder at th«» snow
covered ground, tin» tlrst I»«» had seen.
"Oh, E<Uile!” he exrlalmetl, turning to
his older brother, "now you'll get It;
mamma will whip you for Npllllng nil
tlw nait outs Id«*."
"Ilow oh! Is your baby brother?”
naked little Tommie of a playmate.
’One year old." rvpll««d Johnnie.
"Huh!” exclaimed Tommie, "I’ve gut a
«!<»g a year ol«I and lie ran walk tub*«»
is well as that kid can.” "Well, he
ough( to," r«*i»ll«Nl Johnnie, "lie's gut
twice as many legs."
Said a Sunday s«-h<»ol teacher, all smile«,
"What qur«’n traveled thousands of miles.
Just to feast her eyes
On Solomon wise.
And hi« wealth of which he’d great
piles?”
Now. this teacher bellrvsd much In nids.
To help pupil« climb the «trep grades;
So she said : "Guess -
It begin« with an ’8’.”
And a «mall t»oy yelled, "Queen of
Spades!”
Ilonrwi, Alth<>u«h **Tlaht.*(
They were taking up a Christmas
collection fur tbe ¡»our ¡N»«>p|«t of the
pariah, ami .Mr. Hardman, one of tbe
richest men In the community, had sul»-
Nrrlticd a sum so mum 11 us to l>e out of
all proportion to hla ability to con
| rli.iit«*
"la that all you can ufford, Mr. Hard
man?" asked th«» man with the sub-
scrlptlon pfl|»*r, who was a gtaxl, easy
soul, but not a person of much force.
"Yea,” li«» answer«»!, "I think that's
enough for me."
"You don’t Ilk»» to give away your
wealth, do you?" said the other, with a
smile thnt waa meant to deprive th«»
words of their sting.
"No, I don’t," res|N»nded Mr. Hard
man. "If you hated to give away
money half ns badly ns I <|o, Bingley,
you wouldn’t contribute a single cent!”
Ten Thwuaaod TekKrama at Once,
lu 1871 at a celebration held In New
York In honor of Professor Morse the
original Instrument Invented by him
was exhibited, ronnected at thnt mo
ment by wire with every one of the
10,to« Inatrnnientn then In use tn the
country. At a nlxn'nl n meangn from
the
Inventor wnn sent vibrating
thronglHHit tlw Fnlt«l States and wax
rend at the same time In every city
from New York to New Oricana and
San Francisco.
Not for Her Kars.
"What waa It Frniiklln said?
'If
you'd have a thing well done- —”
'Tell your «a>k you'd llkv It rare," In
terrupted Hubbubs.
Agent I'd like to sell you thle bottle
of mosquito r,terminator. Mr Jack-
son No. air eel I'm a uinuufaeturer
of moaqlllto netting.
Mistress (to cohtred rook) Marls,
Is jour little girl a bright child? Marla
'Deed alls am. Komvtlmro Ah think
•Iwa a little too alilny.
-Say. dad.” "Well, son.” “Wbal'e
a pedestrian?”
A |»*doatrlan, son. Is
one h Ito doeau't ha.e time to got out
of the any of nu auto.”
“So you will uiakv a dash tor the
North IS>le liy alral>li>. Ilin» you the
ship yetF* “Noo, not exactl*.” “Ilow
far ulong arv jour proparatluiisT" "We
have the air.”
Mra. Justgott Heriuuu My new
home tins atalued gluaa lu all tlu> win-
dowa.
Mrs. Notyvt Huta*»m Now
tbat'a too bad. Can't you tlud aowe-
thing that'll take It out?
Paddy (oblivious, on ttw track, with
trnlu advauclng) Where will I catch
tlw exprvsa for Dubllu? Stationmaster
Ye'll catch It all o»er >e If ye don't
got off the Hue mighty quick.
Mercliaut I would be glad to give
you tlw poeltlou, young man. but I
make It « rule to employ married men
only. Applicant Beg |>ard>>ii. sir, but
have you nu unmarried daughter?
Jack's Mamma There wore three
■lloea of cake lu the cupboard. Jack,
am! now tlwro are only two. Ilow .lows
tbat bap|wu? Jack It waa so dark lu
then*, tuaiuma, that I didn't aev tha
others.
Mrs. Gudntiout My husband la "•>
slipshod. Ulo buttons are forever com
ing off. Mr. Urlui PorlM|*s they are
Uot sewed oil properly. Mra Gadabout
That's Just It. He Is so careless with
bls rowing.
“Aro you chief engtiwer of thle ron*
ceru?” a»ked an excited Individual of
tlw ,ub editor. “No. air. I'm not the
eiigln.-er. I'm the hollar.” And he pro
ceded to ' boll dowu” elx alieeta of mat
ter into a uote of alx Hues.
Itowyer I any. doctor, why are you
nlwaya running ua lawycra down? Itoo-
tor (dry ly ) Well, your profeaalon
doesn't make angola of meu. doos It?
latwyer Why, no; you certainly have
tlw advantage of ua ttwro. doctor.
A family raroutly purchased n row.
grratly to tbe excitement ami Joy of
tlw children of the household. Ttw fol
lowing Sunday na the dearorL which
eonalated of he cream, waa plneed on
tbe table, tlw it year old aou of tlw fam
ily announced proudly to ttw aarombled
gueeta. "Our row made that!”
•Mi Eugllab rector waa burying one
of hla imrlablonera in ttw churchyard,
when he waa Interrupted by n woman.
"You muat wait until I hare tliilatwd."
nahl be. "No, air, I niuat a|wnk at
ouce." "Well, then, what‘a ttw mat
ter?" tw Inquired. "Why. air," exclaim
ed the poor woman, “you aro burying
a man win» died of ttw* amallpox next
my poor hud.nnd. wlw never had It.”
A burly, broad shouldered
man
pnam-d through tlw galea at tlw Central
station ut Jersey City, nud hurried
with Ills two solid looking suit cases
toward n Pullman (>>rter who at.nxl
atllfly and erect twal.le the stejai of a
parlor car attach«! to tlw train. Tbs
pawwnger, who was long on suit caws
but abort on breath, naked tlw proud-
looking porter; "ikn-n this train atop
nt Itahwny?” "No, sab,” replied tbe
negro, in a suiwrlor manner. ‘This
train do not atop at Itnhway, anh. It
do Uot even healtate nt Rahway.”
A gentleman who aiwiit bln time vle-
Itlng among bin frleudn, wearing out
hla wel«>me In Illa own neighborhood,
thought he would visit an old (Junker
friend oom« twenty tnllea distant Ils
wns rordlvlly rc-'vlvw! hy tlw qunker,
who, thinking tlw visitor bad taken
much pains to come »<> (ar to See him.
treat««! hint with n great deal of at
tention ami politeness for several days
As tlw visitor allow«! no signs nf leav
ing tbe (junker haa'ame tllienay, but
bon* It with patience until tlw eighth
day, wlten be said to him: "My friend,
I nm afraid tliiw will never come
again.” "<>li. yen. I shall.” said ths
visitor. "I have enjoy«l my visit very
much ami shall certainly come ngnlii.”
"But,” anh! tlw (Junker, "If thee will
never leave, how can thro come ngnlu?"
K«»« t ■«!«»• of Mrrro.
Mecca, at ttw season of tlw annual
visitation of Mohnmiiiednn pilgrims. In
thus deserllnal In Everybody's In "With
tlw Pilgrims to Me«'ii.” trnnalnt«! from
tlw nnrratlve of Ibu Jubnyr All of Ban
dar Adas:
“Like a gigantic catafalque, aomlwr,
shrouded In mystery, tlw Knnbn rlros
out of the ws'ttilng sen of white garbed
liumnnlly tlmt crowds the great an<T«l
aqunre of Mecca. Ita door la covered
with pinion of »olid »liver atuddml with
■liver mills. From tha exterior of tho
roof, al»>ve n »tone marking tlw rop-
ulcher of lahmnel, which Ilea nt tho
bam* of tlw northern wall, tlwro pro
jects n horizontal, romlelrculnr rain
»pout tlvo yards long, twenty four
Inchon wide, made of mnnnlve gold.
Within the roof 1» supported by three
column» of nloo wood; the walls are
bung with roil velvet alternating with
white square» In which are written In
Arable tho words. 'Allah Jal Jelnlah*
('Praise to God, the Almighty'). The
building Is pack«! with pilgrims, pray
ing. weeping, Imelde themselves In an
ecstasy of pan»lonate devotion. Min
gled with their voices (hero risen from
outside the chant of the Talblh, the
song of the winding »Iwet, which every
pilgrim must »Ing on entering Mecca,
on donning the sacred Ihram. on enter
Ing the llarnm. and on ntnrtlng for
Mina, the valley of desire, and Arafat,
the mountain of compnsslom”
Htlnjay (playing host >—Tell me,
now, what do you think of that cigar?
Knndor (holding the weed at arm's
length) Well er can't you first send
In the Prnlfentlarr.
your wife out of the room on Koine
"How did you begin your downward pretext or other?" The ('atlxjlc Stand
course, my i>oor man?”
ard and Times.
"Why, at the top. of course. Did you
expect I commenced at th«- l»ottom?"
Many a man who »ays nothing
wouldn’t know a wood »uw If be »aw
It'» better to lie fresh than »tale-*
Every man lies a little wbeu be IL
but don't got too fresh.
writes love letters.
.