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About Beaver State herald. (Gresham and Montavilla, Multnomah Co., Or.) 190?-1914 | View Entire Issue (April 5, 1907)
When a fuel famine meets a enow blockade It's a case of double trouble. In order not to lose sight of your object tn life. It may be well to have one that Is not too far away "The flneat clothing la a person‘a own akin." saya Mark Twain. And we might add that It la a good fit. If "exaggerated ego" la a aympt«^ of Insanity, maybe amne of our polltl dans are more to he pitied than blamed Russia claims to be in worse condl tion than It was a year ago. although at that time It was bolding the world's record. The Philadelphia man who bad a lump of coal removed from bls bralu must have been glad to get the matter off his mind. A lot of the twst people In the world never get their names In the newspa pars except when friends from out of town visit them. Valparaiso seems to have pulled through her earthquake experience without developing either a prominent grafter or a conspicuous fool. The eternal fitness of things gets an awful jolt when one encounters a woman clerk In a hardware store or a man clerk in a millinery shop. At any rate, the Increased cost of living has put out of business the man who used to write those plausible arti cles on "How to Live on Thirty Cents a Day." Andrew Carnegie has given *4O.dtX) for a swimming pool at Yale. But Andy s name is not merely to be writ In water. It will be blown In the bricks at the side of tbe pool A Philadelphia man wants a divorce because his wife would rather go shop ping than eat The wife can defeat him If she will only set up the plea that she Is an average woman. There Is living In Texas a woman who can travel for fifty miles in one direction without stepping from her own land. She ought to be able to get along without scolding her neighbors much. A Washington man who never be fore believed In tbe "thirteen” hoodoo Is mourning tbe loss of a *13 overcoat, which has been stolen twice. Here after he will probably purchase only those marked down to *12.99. A London professor has been count ing tbe germs that were picked up by a woman who dragged her skirt through tbe street He found lfLSoO.- 000 of them. We are authorized. how ever. to say that be did not take tbe trouble to name them all. An Indiana man has secured a di vorce with the provision tbat he may not marry anyone but his former wife until after thirty years from the time of tbe granting of the decree. Such divorces are not likely to become very popular in New York social circles. Maine Is to have the distinction of possessing a factory owned and run by Indiana Sabatls Shay and Newel Ban co. full-blooded Indiana recently pur chased the necessary land, and are to erect a building for tbe manufacture of canoe paddles and cant-dog bandies —articles which demand absolute fidel ity In manufacture, since on their trust worthiness the safety of life may de pend. Tbe stenographer and typewrit er of the firm Is a young Indian girl, a graduate of a high school and business college, who can write both In her na tive language and In English. It must be highly Interesting for a man to sit up In bed and watch a sur geon cut off bis leg witbout feeling It, but that Is what has been done In Eu rope for some time past by the new procese of "spinal anesthesia.” The lower part of the spine Is anesthetized with coaalne and that paralyses tbe lower part of the body, so tbat it ma» be backed to pieces without pain. This process has just Iron lntr-iduced In this country by a Milwaukee physician, and It Is a little astonishing that it has not been Introduced sooner. s«-e!ng tbat It has been In use In France and Ger many for almost two years. The test made near Cleveland re cently of tbe question whether engi neer» are In the habit of running past danger signa lx la conclusive as to tbe fact It la said that tbe twenty-four engineers who disregard«! tbe signals will tx> discharged. That discipline will protmbly be necessary to convince the engineers that railroad management la in earnest about having them stop when the Blgnals call for It But tbe managers should not lay tbe uncthxi to their souls that this will convince tbe public that tbe bad practice has be«1» tbe engineers' fault Engineers are not so fond of courting death or so wholly controlled by the speed mad ness as to run past danger signals un less they have reason to believe It Is expected of them. It need not be pre sumed that they were definitely In structed to commit this violation of tbe rules of safety. But there Is every na non to suspect that they were required to make time and subjected to dlsfsvor If they did not make it In such ways as to practically compel them to do so. The ease with which the generous Intentions of a teats tor may be frus trated and tbe uncertainty which at tends the making of a will even by an experienced lawyer are illustrated In tbe case of tbe late Judge Edward M. Paxson of Philadelphia. Judge Paxson died In 1900 and among bls bequests was a large tract of land and a sum of money, tbe whole amounting in val ue to nearly a million dollars, which be Intended abould be applied to tbs founding and maintenance of a horn for boys, where farming ami garden I n were to be taught them. This will wa «et aside the other day. the courts a firming that the Judge died Intestai because bls will «Io« not roilform t tbe provisions of ttw* law. Judge l‘nv son was on the Supreme bench of IVnv «ylvanla for fifux'ii years. For a «xvn »Iderable part of that time he «» chief Justice. He had been judge li lower courts and his entire active Ilf had been devotixt to th«' pra«-tlce. « hi forveuwnt. and Interpretation of law During hla kmg carver h«* probably ha, drawn up many wills ami pronoun,-« upon tbe validity of many. He vet talnly should have been competent t execute a will properly ami ought t have been an expert at th«« busln««« but three lawyers, whom prolxibly h had many times Instruct«! In ix«lnts o taw. have succeed«! In show lug that 1» either did not know bow to make i will which wouhl realat brv'aklng o else that be waa thoughtless In th making. Ills will waa invalidated. a It did not have tbe names of two wit n«*sm*s. ami the large prv|x>rty whlcl was to have been devoted to a mos beneficent and useful charity will lx divided among the heirs, Of course I is most extraordinary that a man Ilki Judge Paxson. of unusual legal attalu mentsandof unusually large experiemx in practice and upon tbe bench, sbouh have made such an error In his las testament, but so have other great law yers. like Samuel J. Tilden, for in stance. all of which g>x*s tv show tha a man may reach tbe hlgh«*st stat lot in hla profession and yet In tbe slrnpl« performance of a duty which he hai done over and over make a mistake ol the most momentous kind, and show himself fallible where be should hav« been tbe coutrary. It also demonstrate* that a learned Judg«« mar decide wisely and In accordance with the forms ol law for others and act u.ost unwtsely ami unjudiclally in tbe direction of hb own affairs. Tbe moral. [X'rhapa, h that mistakes might be arold«'d am' legal technicalities es.-aped by carrying out «me's wishes while living whlct will also enable one not only to carry ont the wish but to see that It Is car ried out properly. WHALE MEAT FOR FOOD. X«**foa»41cid,ra Have Foo ad Palatable aad Cheap. It Whale meat Is coming on the market. Tbe flesh of tbe deep sea leviathans looks and tastes so much like beef that the difference is scarcely noticeable, says the Ottawa Free 1’ress. It la so cheap that If competition makes It :.e-vssary It can be sold for a cent a pound and still leave a margin of profit. There is as much meat on a 70-ton w hale as on 200 fat steers Tbe meat may be a little course In quality, but It Is claimed to be as nu tritious as beef. Tbe company which la preparing whale meat for the mar ket has already sold several lots to merchants In the West Indies, and tbe poor natives have bought it without hesitation. It is really better food than they hare been accustomed to buying. If ft were not for preju«llce It Is cer tain that the consumption of whale meat would have been universal before this, because It Is both nourishing and cheap. Tbe whale stations In Newfoundland are the first to attempt to save all por tions of tbe sea monster, and by so do ing have doubled Its value. Formerly tbe blubber was cut away, and then the carcass set adrift, but now the en tire body Is saved. Including even the bones and blood. One of these modern stations will dispose of four 70-ton whales In twenty four hours, having tbe oil ready for shipment In barrels, the meat Incased In casks, and tbe blood, bones and refuse reduced to powder and packed In sacks. This is extraordinary when the size of the prey Is taken Into consideration. Specimens are frequent that measure eighty feet long, and It has been found tbat ,ue largest ones will always weigh a ton for every foot of their length. There are certain parts of a whale that are strangely out of proportion. Al though Its body and mouth are enor mous, Its eyes and throat are exceed ingly small. As a matter of curiosity the various organs of a large sulphur whale were weighed recently. Tbe tongue tipp«! tbe scales at exactly 4.<XM> pounds, while tbe eye was barely half a pound In weight The Jawbone was twenty feet long, and one side of It weighed 1,000 pounds Tbe tongue boiled sep arately produced nearly four barrels of oil. Although the mouth Is almost wide enough to encomi>aM a box car. the throat Is so narrow that only tbe small est particles of food can be swallowed, hence tbe big creatures subsist alto gether on tiny shrimp and little fishes. However, there Is one species—tbe sperm whale—which has an opening big enough to accommodate even larg er objects than tbe body of a man. It Is not unusual to find portions of an octopus weighing several tons when tbe stomach of one of th««m Is dissect«!. LOST—A NEW WORLD FRONTIER « axadlaM Nersbweal la a Healaa at <4r*at < iiNtrmf«, BEWARE THE SILENT MAN. By 1:11a K. Dtarborn lnetlnctlvely otw dlatruata a silent peroM, and (hit 1» well, for there la no |XHudb|llty of understanding them, and It la doubtful If they understand themselves. 1'lielr el leave leads you to w rong roneluolone. They know thia, but are too elam like to say a word that will set you straight, even though tliey are the on<*s to lx* Injured by an error In your ju<lg. went \ u struggle to Interpret their alienee aright. It may be shyness tliough not likely. It may be aullenuess but what about? If you have deluded yourself with the Idea that there Is a warm heart under tire ley exterior and a teeming brain veiled by alleuee, away with the delusion, for a warm heart will make Itself manifest, am! the aetlve bralu will not be found by alleuee. Thoughts find their way Into words. Just as surely as the river Unde the ocean. No matter how gnat a saerlrtee you may make In onler to do an aet of kindness to a silent man or woman, a distressful stare Is the token of acroptancev and you do not know whether the silent one Is struggling to express thanks or is try Ing not to kill you for your otHelousnesa. These people have not stamina enough to be either very good or very lutd. They are unreliable lu a business way and socially they are bores and nuisances, aud the wife of a silent men Is always unhappy; all efforts to please him are met with that Impenetrable alienee that hurts worse than a blow, and yet. since be has not beateu his wife with his lists or a club, in* would claim to be kind. S|«eech Is natures S|<ev'lal gift to man. all other facul ties are shared In common with lower animals; to man kind alone Is given th«' power of clothing thoughts In words S iems' but thinly veilsone's lack of thought. Be ware of th«' silent person! CLASS DISTINCTIONS IN CHURCH. By Bishop Potter. I deplore the formation of castes lu communities, tlw dividing of peo pie into little cliques who aff<*ct to be superior to those outside them. Ttie attitude of the t'brlstiau Church should be—to disregard all questions of casts, the point w here our rellglou differs greatly from all other great systems of theology, doctrine aud philosophy Is that all p«*ople are alike In the sight of God. There Is no place for cast«* and caste dlstiuc tlons in the Christian Church, yet. BlSHCr roTTtM. unfortunately. It is fast grow tug here In America. You will hear wotMen ami men tell you not so much »1» they know aud with «iwrn they associate as those whom they will not or do uot care to know. It Is a ridiculous condition here In democratic America. The people who are thus cousl«lere«l "Impossible" are not so from any evil Hue; they are simply “not of our set." Such an idea and such a system has no place in this land. I want you to consider a minute bow different this spirit Is from that which a<tuate«l the character of Him whose funeral procession In the Holy Land to-«lay Is much the same as was that one when our Lord raise*! the son of the widow of Nalu. It meant a loss of caste, a defilement to touch a dead person; yet our Lord not only • FIGHTING BOB" EVANS. CawaMew the Cast. "Aren't you sorry that so many peo ple have to bang on to your old car straps?” asked the citizen of tbe street railroad director. "I suppose I ought to be,” was tbe response , "they cvrtalDly do wear 'em out!”—Yonkers Rtateeman. Every man thinks bls love Is Pure and Ideal, but tbat the love of other men Is not only dangerous, but very funny. SOCIAL PROGRESS DEPENDS ON INDIVIDUAL. By Jeremiah »V. Jenks We may m>t exjwct an Immevllate revolution lu moral Ideals or lu business prsethva lint we may ho|X' for steady Improvement Meas- uns suggested favor greater publicity In bust, nena management In itself a measure of re form. Tile principles of bualness hold also In poli ties. The time Is coming when deception and trickery lu diplomacy will no longer pay. when cruelty ami unacrupulousiiesa In luteruatlomil relations place a nation at a disadvantage. The prosperity of the nation, as of the Individual or of the corporation. la In th«* long run secured not by hostile measures but through ttw closely linked «ommervlal and am-lal Intercourse lu times of peace amt friendship. Among nations, as among business corporations, we may see that In the long run. If the moral iwntlmeiita of Individual eltlreus are right, moral practices pay. Tire ultimate r«'«|'onslblllty rests with us as Individuals; and th«' outlook for the future Is ho|>eful. The evils clearly must lx* se«-n twforo the rennsiy can lx* found. Many of tlx* evil deed» of the last few years have Ixx-u committed because. under th«* changing conditions. tlw nature of these evils has fas'll clearly seen. There Is still, however, much more to do for each of us lu the way of seeing more clearly the application of tlw simple old fashioned prin ciples of private honesty to th«* great transactions of cor poratO business, aud to the still greater problems of statesmanship. GREAT WEALTH NOT MENACE TO NATION By Henry C/ows. Iwt us bear In mind that the vast Individual fortunes of Americans are nearly all self made and In the hands of men who b**gnn life In |u«>r circumstances, amt that moat of the most successful men In business are those who poo- sesa high character, as well as remarkable ca pacity. great thrift, and other gm»l qualities; au«i that meu of this ty|x> with great wealth havi* never proved a menace to the public wel- far«'. New laws could tie enacted to prevent the evil and dissolute use of Inherited wealth. So d«*ep a rouvlctlon have I that a proimr ronae of r«*s{x>nslbillty cornet only with earning ami saving wealth, that I often have thought It a meet and Just way for a man to distribute an estate by first providing for his family ami then di viding the remainder among the employe» who hail nerved him faithfully and aided him to amass bls for tune. ARIZONA'S GREAT DAM NEARING COMPLETION. Reporf (hat 11« Via»« Soon Ral»e the V^hite Flatt tn Life*« Battle. The report tbat Admiral Bob Evans Is about to retire from the navy be cause of ill health has sent a throb of sympathy and regret through the coun try. Scores of telegrams and even ca blegrams have been received at the navy department asking as to the truth of the report, aud expressing high r«r gard for "Fighting Bob.” Robley Dunllngson was the name given him at bls birth, Aug 18, 1M«I. over 00 years ago. But he is "Fighting Bob" to tbe American people. He Is a born fighter. At 6 he was Handling a gun. At 13 be was on bis way across the western plains to ac quire a residence at Salt Lake City. He bad been promised an appointment to Annapolis If be became a resident of the L'tah city. On the way the emigrant train was attacked by Indlpns. “Bob” was warned to stay under cover when tbe fight began. When the Indians bad been beaten back an arrow pinning Bob's right leg to tbe mule be rode showed bow he had obeyed the order. He bad been In the thickest of the me lee. Tbe arrow had to be cut between bis leg and the pony's side before be could dismount. When the Civil War broke out young Tbe *4.1 X j O.OOO Tonto dam and reservoir—one of the most marvelous en- Evans, then at Anua|>olla, bad a heart ghteerlng feats ever attempted—la being completed at Roosevelt, Arlz., In the racking problem to decide. Ills mother heart of nature's wonderland. Towering mountain» and wild, rocky can was an ardent MX-esslonist His broth yons that have stood for ages almost unknown to man are being fitted Into er did not hesitate but douued tbe a harness of rock and masonry. Tonto dam will hold In < hwk the largest artificial body of water In tbe world a lake 25 miles long, with an average width of miles. This store of water will sane day change StiO.iMX) acres of desert Into a veritable fairy land. Any fruit, vegetable or grain that will grow In the semi-tropical region thrives on Arizona's deserts—but only when there Is water to Irrigate It. The Tonto reservoir Is on Salt River about seventy miles from Phoenix. Work has been progressing upon this great project four years. The total esti mated cost Is about *4,(XMi,(X)0. The project was one of th«, first taken in band by the engineers of the L'nlted States Reclamation Service. X»t«t (Sv Srmptoma. A little giri went for tbe first time to church with her mother. All went well during the service, but the child grew un«?asy during tbe sermon, which was a long one. The mother tried in every way to keep tbe little girl quiet, but in vain. Finally tbe child observed tbat tbe preacher bad a pompous way of In flating his chest and lungs at a new paragraph or bead. Just as the mother was assuring the child tbat tbe preach er would soon stop, be did—for anoth er start—and tbe tired child burst out on ber mother's sssurance, "No. be won't; he’s swelling up again.”—Wom an's National Dally. stv'pixxl th«< provviodou rather than passing down a aide street. as we would I**' apt to do. but actually took the dead youth by the hand, risking what meant much to au Oriental. On tlw other hand, we have a list of thoae we do not care to associate with, because they «Io not In-long to our |>artleular class of society. Never has there teen a time when there was greater maxi of a more enllghteuevl ami a more Christian way of living Comlltlona lu America are such that It la Im inwalble to follow the Ideas of the founders of the laud. The early Puritans ha«l certain Ideas which would lx* alm ply ludicrous were we to try to live up to litem. We must add new standards. gray. But Bob d<x-l<l«l to cast his lot with the ones who bad educated him, although bls mother sent bls resigna tion to tbe Federal government. His fighting spirit waa vividly Illus trated In tbe assault on Ft Fisher, January, 1W21. Twice be was wound ed and fought on. A third bullet pierced bls knee and he fell helpless. A sliarpsbooter kept pegging away at him. A bullet tore off of bls toes. The Ire of tbe wounded man was aroused, and grabbing bls own rifle, he shot bls enemy dead. It was well for Evans after that battle that be had a strenuous spirit. When he was taken to tbe hospital It was d«-lded tbat both his legs must be amputated. Bob heard the d«-lslon and that night arm«l himself with a revolver, which be bld under bls pil low. Next day when physicians broke their views to him tbe wounded youth Tliv day In th«» Canadian Nurthw^at I n oih » of wntraat, m iyw >'iin»raon I lougli In Outing Pliv tt’.x'v »till »lamia la» «Ido tin» new ninintluii of the rviil tut«» agent. The |M»id rmw of tin* Creo* aiv bold clone to th»» «¡dandld Irhlng park at th«* eapltnl of what you and I tlH*ught nut tin* frontier. I.a eroaav Nurvltiw. but *lth It |H>I<». Y ou not a bundt«» of silver foi aklna ««»»rtli MO.UUO; but ttiw merchant do«»« not care for that; be want« to show you wheat and <mt llehta. tla* cro|M* taller than your head. 'rh«*y tell you of hunting groundN to th«* far north full of ap|»oal to th«* aiheiiturvni. hut they ad«l that a railway la building to l.ae lu llleln* an«l an«»ther to lludaon’a Bay; and they add euaually that If tbe groat bay aba 11 pro««* to»» k»y for wluter tranapurtatlou of tbtMH* nillllona of buabrla of grain to England. th«*n they will build a n»ad from Ita <*uat *hore nci \» mn t'ngavn amt l»abrador. Ami th«rm* thing« tln*y will do! Hut what la the frontl«*rY Among th«* gi«vn |H»|»l:iiN which vnfoht what w* tl*«»ught waa to remain forever th«» wtndNW«*pt capital of tla* fur trail«* ah«»w now many tenta. »«orea of tla»m. rtH»y are tin* toiita not of t’lwa ami ltrvo<lN. but of n«»w net tiara who haw not bad Ilin«* t«» build their houa«*«. Wlhl fowl «till hraoda thereabout; but cloae t»i the wlhl lake« ax aial billhook »re cultlug away the buah an«| «»penlug up tin* rich black ant! for farms. Hut w I a» re 1« tin» frulltlsr? They «bow you pictures of th«* old lludaon*« Hay Company's »tor«»« of otla*r days and tell you of low r«M*f«*d r«N»ms. Nnn»ky ami flllt»d with a Jumble of fur« ami «log harneaa ami gaudy cloth«*« for the native trade; yet wh«»n you And the Ihidson'a Hay Company’s stores today, you dlmwer window« Ailed with lin gerie from l*arla, picture hats and tK»ots of dainty make as thoa«» of Broad way’, gl«»x for gentle hands, silk»*, furs and dm» llm*n« Alas, for th«» llml sou’s Bay (Vmpany; It catars no more to Pie hue. the Kaqulmaui hello, but to Estelle and Ang«»llne from Ontario, Katie and B«*aa from th«» Atatra and Mary and Nora from over arsa. pull«l the gun. “You will never take off my legs while I have a bullet left," was bls ultimatum. They didn't think then that It was absolutely necessary. In 1891 Evans gained bls title of "Fighting Bob.' He was In command of tbe little Yorktown at Valparaiso. Chile. It needx! but the drop of a hat. it seemed, to start war between that country and the t'nlted States. Evans waa In tl>e liartx>r, facing ten forts and the Chilean fled. lie took on bls ship the refugees from the American lega- jlon In tbe troth of tbe protests of the Chilean government. More than that, he kept them safe and bluffed the en tire fleet and all tbe forts by calmly threatening to <qx>n fire. The world lead of It gas|s-d In slicer admiration of tbe nerve of It—and he became "Fighting Boh" forever. Evans eomnrinded the Iowa at the battle of Santiago and was In tbe thick of tbe scrap tbat destroyed the Span ish fleet. He was always quick to mrot an emergency. While dining the German emjieror on board the Columbia, at tbe opening of the Klei canal, lie told the emperor all of tbe watertight doors In tbe ship could be closed In thirty serond*. To make good he ordered the signal blown on the siren. There wasn't enough »team and tbe emperor laugh«!. Evans quickly turn«l In bls seat, pushed the general alarm buttons, aud In a minute and a half the doors were closed. Wag nt Phllanthropg. A Indy who was recently appointed a visitor to a hospital for cblidrt i, fearing that p<s>r children failed to re ceive tbe same nttentlou bestowed on those of richer parents, paid her first visit to the Institution, Intending to effect a change. In a ward she found a tiny boy quite alone, lie Inform«! her Hint there was another ls>y In the ward, but that be was Ix'lng examined before n clinic. The lady l<>ok«l around her for evidence of neglrot on tbe part of tbe attendants. A suit of clothes lily liuddl«! on a chair. Fold ing them in an orderly manner, she said: "Hurely. my dear, these trousers are too long for you by several Inches.” "Yes, ma’am," replied the boy. “A cfn and a aliame," crl«l she, and took a “companion” from her bag. Hhe sat down and cut off the legs of the garment and hemmed the «Igos. "Now,” »lie said, triumphantly, when the task wan complete, "they will tit you better." "The other boy's taller than me,” re plied tbe child. "They ts-long to him.” "Johnny,** said the ttmeber of the Juvenile clasN. **dt*fine ‘ostentation.* ’* It’s th«» way our neighbors show* off," unawerv«l Johnuy. ••Tonun!«»,** queried the visitor, "how- do you stand In s«*booi th«Me daysK’ "In the comer moat of the time,*' re pik'd truthful Tommie. Vncle Bob Jotiunlr, If you could have your way wia> would you rather be than any one els«» In the world? Johnnie Just me, I gur**» If | could always have my way. Visitor How- many a!«t«»rs have you. Ned? Ned (age»! 0) Only one. Via- Itor- Why. I thought you had two? Ned--Well, I’ve gut two half si »tors, but tbat only makes one w tmlv one. Small Tommy Our teacher whlpi»ed a twiy to-day fur whlN|»erlng, but It dldu’t do auy good. Mamma Why not? Small Tommy ’CnuNe It made him h<»l ler teu times louder than be wbls pered. A little 3-j«»arold awoke on«» morn lug and gated In wonder at th«» snow covered ground, tin» tlrst I»«» had seen. "Oh, E<Uile!” he exrlalmetl, turning to his older brother, "now you'll get It; mamma will whip you for Npllllng nil tlw nait outs Id«*." "Ilow oh! Is your baby brother?” naked little Tommie of a playmate. ’One year old." rvpll««d Johnnie. "Huh!” exclaimed Tommie, "I’ve gut a «!<»g a year ol«I and lie ran walk tub*«» is well as that kid can.” "Well, he ough( to," r«*i»ll«Nl Johnnie, "lie's gut twice as many legs." Said a Sunday s«-h<»ol teacher, all smile«, "What qur«’n traveled thousands of miles. Just to feast her eyes On Solomon wise. And hi« wealth of which he’d great piles?” Now. this teacher bellrvsd much In nids. To help pupil« climb the «trep grades; So she said : "Guess - It begin« with an ’8’.” And a «mall t»oy yelled, "Queen of Spades!” Ilonrwi, Alth<>u«h **Tlaht.*( They were taking up a Christmas collection fur tbe ¡»our ¡N»«>p|«t of the pariah, ami .Mr. Hardman, one of tbe richest men In the community, had sul»- Nrrlticd a sum so mum 11 us to l>e out of all proportion to hla ability to con | rli.iit«* "la that all you can ufford, Mr. Hard man?" asked th«» man with the sub- scrlptlon pfl|»*r, who was a gtaxl, easy soul, but not a person of much force. "Yea,” li«» answer«»!, "I think that's enough for me." "You don’t Ilk»» to give away your wealth, do you?" said the other, with a smile thnt waa meant to deprive th«» words of their sting. "No, I don’t," res|N»nded Mr. Hard man. "If you hated to give away money half ns badly ns I <|o, Bingley, you wouldn’t contribute a single cent!” Ten Thwuaaod TekKrama at Once, lu 1871 at a celebration held In New York In honor of Professor Morse the original Instrument Invented by him was exhibited, ronnected at thnt mo ment by wire with every one of the 10,to« Inatrnnientn then In use tn the country. At a nlxn'nl n meangn from the Inventor wnn sent vibrating thronglHHit tlw Fnlt«l States and wax rend at the same time In every city from New York to New Oricana and San Francisco. Not for Her Kars. "What waa It Frniiklln said? 'If you'd have a thing well done- —” 'Tell your «a>k you'd llkv It rare," In terrupted Hubbubs. Agent I'd like to sell you thle bottle of mosquito r,terminator. Mr Jack- son No. air eel I'm a uinuufaeturer of moaqlllto netting. Mistress (to cohtred rook) Marls, Is jour little girl a bright child? Marla 'Deed alls am. Komvtlmro Ah think •Iwa a little too alilny. -Say. dad.” "Well, son.” “Wbal'e a pedestrian?” A |»*doatrlan, son. Is one h Ito doeau't ha.e time to got out of the any of nu auto.” “So you will uiakv a dash tor the North IS>le liy alral>li>. Ilin» you the ship yetF* “Noo, not exactl*.” “Ilow far ulong arv jour proparatluiisT" "We have the air.” Mra. Justgott Heriuuu My new home tins atalued gluaa lu all tlu> win- dowa. Mrs. Notyvt Huta*»m Now tbat'a too bad. Can't you tlud aowe- thing that'll take It out? Paddy (oblivious, on ttw track, with trnlu advauclng) Where will I catch tlw exprvsa for Dubllu? Stationmaster Ye'll catch It all o»er >e If ye don't got off the Hue mighty quick. Mercliaut I would be glad to give you tlw poeltlou, young man. but I make It « rule to employ married men only. Applicant Beg |>ard>>ii. sir, but have you nu unmarried daughter? Jack's Mamma There wore three ■lloea of cake lu the cupboard. Jack, am! now tlwro are only two. Ilow .lows tbat bap|wu? Jack It waa so dark lu then*, tuaiuma, that I didn't aev tha others. Mrs. Gudntiout My husband la "•> slipshod. Ulo buttons are forever com ing off. Mr. Urlui PorlM|*s they are Uot sewed oil properly. Mra Gadabout That's Just It. He Is so careless with bls rowing. “Aro you chief engtiwer of thle ron* ceru?” a»ked an excited Individual of tlw ,ub editor. “No. air. I'm not the eiigln.-er. I'm the hollar.” And he pro ceded to ' boll dowu” elx alieeta of mat ter into a uote of alx Hues. Itowyer I any. doctor, why are you nlwaya running ua lawycra down? Itoo- tor (dry ly ) Well, your profeaalon doesn't make angola of meu. doos It? latwyer Why, no; you certainly have tlw advantage of ua ttwro. doctor. A family raroutly purchased n row. grratly to tbe excitement ami Joy of tlw children of the household. Ttw fol lowing Sunday na the dearorL which eonalated of he cream, waa plneed on tbe table, tlw it year old aou of tlw fam ily announced proudly to ttw aarombled gueeta. "Our row made that!” •Mi Eugllab rector waa burying one of hla imrlablonera in ttw churchyard, when he waa Interrupted by n woman. "You muat wait until I hare tliilatwd." nahl be. "No, air, I niuat a|wnk at ouce." "Well, then, what‘a ttw mat ter?" tw Inquired. "Why. air," exclaim ed the poor woman, “you aro burying a man win» died of ttw* amallpox next my poor hud.nnd. wlw never had It.” A burly, broad shouldered man pnam-d through tlw galea at tlw Central station ut Jersey City, nud hurried with Ills two solid looking suit cases toward n Pullman (>>rter who at.nxl atllfly and erect twal.le the stejai of a parlor car attach«! to tlw train. Tbs pawwnger, who was long on suit caws but abort on breath, naked tlw proud- looking porter; "ikn-n this train atop nt Itahwny?” "No, sab,” replied tbe negro, in a suiwrlor manner. ‘This train do not atop at Itnhway, anh. It do Uot even healtate nt Rahway.” A gentleman who aiwiit bln time vle- Itlng among bin frleudn, wearing out hla wel«>me In Illa own neighborhood, thought he would visit an old (Junker friend oom« twenty tnllea distant Ils wns rordlvlly rc-'vlvw! hy tlw qunker, who, thinking tlw visitor bad taken much pains to come »<> (ar to See him. treat««! hint with n great deal of at tention ami politeness for several days As tlw visitor allow«! no signs nf leav ing tbe (junker haa'ame tllienay, but bon* It with patience until tlw eighth day, wlten be said to him: "My friend, I nm afraid tliiw will never come again.” "<>li. yen. I shall.” said ths visitor. "I have enjoy«l my visit very much ami shall certainly come ngnlii.” "But,” anh! tlw (Junker, "If thee will never leave, how can thro come ngnlu?" K«»« t ■«!«»• of Mrrro. Mecca, at ttw season of tlw annual visitation of Mohnmiiiednn pilgrims. In thus deserllnal In Everybody's In "With tlw Pilgrims to Me«'ii.” trnnalnt«! from tlw nnrratlve of Ibu Jubnyr All of Ban dar Adas: “Like a gigantic catafalque, aomlwr, shrouded In mystery, tlw Knnbn rlros out of the ws'ttilng sen of white garbed liumnnlly tlmt crowds the great an<T«l aqunre of Mecca. Ita door la covered with pinion of »olid »liver atuddml with ■liver mills. From tha exterior of tho roof, al»>ve n »tone marking tlw rop- ulcher of lahmnel, which Ilea nt tho bam* of tlw northern wall, tlwro pro jects n horizontal, romlelrculnr rain »pout tlvo yards long, twenty four Inchon wide, made of mnnnlve gold. Within the roof 1» supported by three column» of nloo wood; the walls are bung with roil velvet alternating with white square» In which are written In Arable tho words. 'Allah Jal Jelnlah* ('Praise to God, the Almighty'). The building Is pack«! with pilgrims, pray ing. weeping, Imelde themselves In an ecstasy of pan»lonate devotion. Min gled with their voices (hero risen from outside the chant of the Talblh, the song of the winding »Iwet, which every pilgrim must »Ing on entering Mecca, on donning the sacred Ihram. on enter Ing the llarnm. and on ntnrtlng for Mina, the valley of desire, and Arafat, the mountain of compnsslom” Htlnjay (playing host >—Tell me, now, what do you think of that cigar? Knndor (holding the weed at arm's length) Well er can't you first send In the Prnlfentlarr. your wife out of the room on Koine "How did you begin your downward pretext or other?" The ('atlxjlc Stand course, my i>oor man?” ard and Times. "Why, at the top. of course. Did you expect I commenced at th«- l»ottom?" Many a man who »ays nothing wouldn’t know a wood »uw If be »aw It'» better to lie fresh than »tale-* Every man lies a little wbeu be IL but don't got too fresh. writes love letters. .