Heppner gazette. (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, March 23, 1911, Image 7

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    Wear This Stylish Suit!
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Bike
II.
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11
The man who In admlrM li the w.'lf
uiwwt u niHD wncMtt t-.(tnt aro fuh
.luia.and lire 1U1 1 I.k. You will
Unit man In your nelirliborlioufll
1911 HlvlfwiirHJuHt In. titt hiu.,it
the nwel lent, elmislfMt, siMtpD.cwt
le weevHroreiitMd tind beiiei
yoiirupnuHruiH'! THIS IS OUfl
i us. mi n want one man bhoui
reprtwentiuive in your uHrtu
borhood. You've got a lot ol
Viands. Thtv wewtr -fliusi
It la the mint thins In fh
world to net thuin to nrdir thii
loLh'te from you, Prices, 17 6C and
np. IIiohb orders mean ablKlmsl-
uem tliul more thiiii dmihlfs
your Nulurr, and the work in the
eiiMinat, ckfiutnt, nlcwt AfcujmtUm
in the world Nitw rHiinwHniiihui.1
make 15 to 110 a dnv. Vnu nimlv
take the ordur and metiKurenifnti
tid tn ail thorn W us W nmkelhot-ioUiof.
tup thom on appror. to your friend and
hand too ths profit monty. A Rcgulai
Oiocbl Thni IhobMiitf uf bcim tn Imn
for yoarulf. Kit rittht down now;
write us fMihUlora letter for tbafrt unt
il! to roprosoiiUtlvn, And you let tin
swellot suttof fftnhionhl. tador-mxlo,
all wol. ittii clotheiaverworoinyom
neighborhood. If vfiur parioual appear
aac end a big bastoeit ic mirth postal
or2ent etainp to von, then act now
write as today Address
AMERICAN WOOLEN MILLS CO, Dept. 512. ChtaJ.
Art Criticism.
"I rather like the motif of that pic
ture," said Mrs. Oldcastle, after she
had carefully Inspected the new wor
of art. "Yes, so do I," replied her
hostess, as they were passing from
the gallery, "only both me and Joslah
thought the artist meant It for a cow."
Chlcaeo Record-HrsM.
SHE COT
WHAT SHE
WANTED
CAF5
30TH GOOD CAT IMITATOR
IV'
I -
This Woman Had to Insist
Strongly, but it Paid
Chicago, 111. "I suffered from a fe
male weakness and Btomach trouble,
and 1 went to the
store to get a bottle
of J,yclia K. l'inic
ham's Vegetable
Compound, but the
clerk did not want
to let me have it-
he said it was no
good and wanted mo
to try something
else, but knowing
all about it 1 in
sisted and finally
got it, and I am so
glad I did, for it has cured me.
"I know of so many (fa Res where wo
men have been cured by Lydia E. I'ink
liani's Vegetable Compound that I can
say to every suffering woman if that
medicine does not help her, there is
nothing that will." Mrs. Jajjetzki,
2003 Arch St., Chicago, 111.
This is the age of substitution, ano
women who want a cure should insist
upon Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound just as this woman did, and
not accept something else on which the
druggist can make a little more profit.
Women who are passing through this
critical period or who are Bufferinrj
from any of those distressing ills pe
culiar to their sex should not lose sight
of the fact that for thirty years Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound,
which is made from roots and herbs,
has been the standard remedy for fe
male ills. In almost every community
you will find women who have been
restored to health by Lydia E. Pint
Law's Vegetable Compound,
Sardine Industry.
The sardine industry gives employ
ment, lh the Spanish port of Vigo, to
23,008 people, of whom 8,000 are wom
en. The wages of the men range from
80 cents to il a day and of the women
from 25 to 35 cents. The value of the
preserved sardines exported last year
was $2.203.sno.
RHEOWISi
Lawyers Sleeping In Court Room Meow
Like Feline, and Finally Como
Together in Mix-Up.
"A bunch of lawyers were sleeping
!n a stuffy court room in a countr
town because of the overcrowded con
lltion of the single hotel during a ses
Uon of court." said a lawyer, "when
ne of them, a practical joker, possess
ing a remarkable faculty of lmltalln
a cat, concluded to have some fun out
of It. After all of them had quletei
down to eleep he started a plaintive
moan like a cat. Another fellow on
the opposite side of the room had a
similar faculty of imitation, and was
awakened by the noise of the sup
posed cat, and remarked to his next
fellow:
" 'Some darned cat has got Into the
room. Just wait. I'll Imitate a tabby
and we'll catch the Tom.'
"So the two began meowing at each
other. The first supposed it was
real cat, and the room being extreme
ly dark, they kept approaching each
other, each with a boot In hand to de
molish the supposed cat. They got
together finally, and then there was an
act not down on the program. Each
had aimed his boot well, and when a
light was Anally struck the two men
were mixing It up badly in the center
of the room, and It took the rest of the
lawyers and the town doctor to get
them In presentable shape for court
the following day."
WALKED BACK.
Friend How long were you out on
the road?"
Ham Sir months. One going out
and five getting back."
Adorning the Menu Card.
"How is It," demanded the patient
man, in the Soho garbage den, at last,
"how is it that quail Is always off the
menu?"
The hireling readjusted hla greasy
napkin and yawned wearily.
"That," said he, "Is just a fancy
touch. We never had a quail." Sport
ing Times. ...
Mnnyon's Rheumatism Remedy relieve!
hiilns la the lues, iinus, back, miff ol
swollen joints. Contains no morphine
cn.imn, cocaine or lnia to demli'ii til
i.aln. It neutralizes the acli! ainLalrtTos
5nt nil rheumatic noisona from the bv
tern. Write 1'rnf. Mmiyun, 6Jil anil Jeff
erson Sta.. Tlilla.. 1'a., for medical ad
vice, absolutely free.
Good Reasoning.
"I wish Cousin Jim and Mtta Jones
would get married," pondered eight-year-old
Nadlne. " 'Cause, why, mam
ma?" "Oh, I don't like either of them,
an if they'd get married to each
other an' go off on a long, long wed
ding journey, I wouldn't have to see
any more of them, an' they'd1 ought
to be happy. So It would be killing'
two birds with one stone!"
DYSPEPSIA
"Having taken your wonderful Casoa
rets for three months ai.d being entirely
cured of stomach catarrh and dyspepsia,
I think a word of praiae is due to
Casearets' for their wonderful composi
tion. I have taken numerous other so
called remedies but without avail, and I
6nct that Cascareta relieve more in a day
than all the others I have taken would in
t year." James McGuce,
Plnuant Palatable. Potent. ImU Good.
Po Good. Ntct Sicken. Wmkm or Grip
10c 26c 60c N itit told In bulk. Th rw
in tablet tmpd C C C UuuinWd ta
core or rour monvr back.
TAKE A DOSE OF
piiso9s
L -THE BEST MEDICINE
ior COUCHS COLDS ,
Highly Improper.
"What is the proper thing for a
man to do when his wife asks him' for
money and he hasn't any?" inquired
Newed.
"Oh, there isn't any proper thing
to do under those circumstances," re
plied Oldwed. "Anything he does will
be wrong."
A Question.
"We must have no sinecures," Bald
the reformers
"Well," replied Senator Sorghum,
thoughtfully, "sometimes I'm in doubt
as to which make the most trouble,
the fellows with sinecures or those
who work overtime getting In the
way."
Attractive Attention.
"Johnson says he's getting along
splendidly In his new position."
"Is that so?"
"Yes, he's been there three months
now and already one member of the
board of directors knows that he's
working there."
Crowding the Market
"What are these old master held
at?"
"Sixteen thousand each."
'Til give you two dollars apleoe for
two of them.
"Make it five dollars for three, and
they're yours."
One Point of View.
Mrs. Exe You don't hear my hus
band going around complaining about
my treatment of him, as yours doee.
... K.. Di.l
MrS. JIT nw, um. iiim uucrnu I
mean that your husband is satisfied
merely that he ia subdued.
A Mistake.
Don't yon think that candidate In
dulges a great deal too much In ver
bosity?" "Oh, no, Indeed; he's strictly tem
perance.
LITTLE THINGS IN NATURE
Little Girl Who Did Not Know Number
of Seed Compartments In Apple,
Asks a Puzzler.
"How many seed compartments arf
here In an apple?" he asked. No on
ns wtred.
"And yet." continued the school in
pectcr, "all of you eat many an appl'
n the course of a year, and see th
rult every Jay p:obab'y. You muf
arn to notica the little things In m
ire." The ta'k of tha Inspector Impress
ie children, and at p!avtims the teac!
r overheard them d:icussl'ig. A 11'
e girl, getting her companions roun
sr, gravely eafd:
"Now, children, surrope I am Mr
aylcr, you've got to know mere abor
immon things. If you don't you wi
1 grow up to be foo's. Now, tell m
Innle," she ccntlnued, looking pterr
' at a playmate, "how may feather
re there cn a hen?"
P3ESTO! CHANCE1
Mrs. Tellit Yes, she is a decided
blonde.
Mrs. Knockit Indeed! When diO
she decide?
The Rich Uncle.
Young Doctor Hello, old chap!
Don't believe J have met you since
we were boys at school. You're look
ing prosperous.
Young Lawyer Yes; a rich uncle
died two years ago and I came Into
possession of nearly fl00,000. -
Young Doctor Why, I wasn't
aware you' had a rich uncle.
Young Lawyer Oh, he wasn't my
uncle. He was the uncle of one of
ny clients.
Future of Cheesemaklng.
Cheesemakers of the next century,
maybe sooner, will hav a seed germ
laboratory attached to their factory,
In which pure cultures of the cheese
bacteria, germs responsible for the
flavor of each kind of cheese, will be
grown and nursed, and instead of
fromage de Prie, Stilton or Gorgon
cola, coming from different parts of
the world, they will all be turned out
from one factory, and no telling how
cheap.
TRY MURINE EYE REMEDY
for Red, Weak, Weary, Watery Eyes
and Granulated Eyelids. Murine Doesn't
Smart Soothes Eye Pain. Druggists
Sell Murine Eye Remedy, Liquid, 25c,
50c, $1.00. Murine Eye Salve in
Aseptic Tubes, 25c, $1.00. Eye Books
and Eye Advice Free by Mall.
Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago.
To Polian Furniture.
For furniture there is nothing to
equal olive ol or raw linseed oil, rub
bed fnta the wood, according to the
grain. The woodwork may require
restalnlng as well. Ordinary old oak
is always improved by rubbing it with
warm beer. It should be remembered
that Unseed oil has the effect of dark
ening mahogany.
The Preacher's Trade.
If the minister knows nothing about
politics let him keep clear. But if he
knows, and knows what he knows,
and how to say it, let him do that
thing. His utterances then will
trouble some brother of course. But
what of it? To trouble human con
science is the preacher's trade. The
Continent.
Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets first put
up 40 years ago. They regulate and
invigorate stomacn, liver and bowels.
Sugar-coated, tiny granules.
"biacx Ligntning."
In photographs of lightning, streaks
of "black lightning" are often seen
branching out from the main white
flaBh, and people have long wondered
what these were. IJ is now found,
says the Scientific American, that
they are due to the over-exposure of
the photographic plate and the ."re
versal" of the negative into a posi
tive, j
What Ails You
Do you feel weak, tired, despondent, have frequent head
ache), coated tongue, bitter or bad taste in morning,
"heart-burn," belching ol ga, acid risings in throat after
eating, stomach gnaw or burn, foul breath, dizzy spells,
poor or variable appetite, nausea at times and kindred
symptoms P
If you have any considerable number of the
above symptoms yon are suffering from bilious
ness, torpid liver with indigestion, or dyspepsia.
Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery is made
up of the most valuable medicinal principles
known to medical science for the permanent
cure of such abnormal conditions. It is a most
efficient liver invigorator, stomarh tonic, bowel
regulator and nerve strengthener.
The "Golden Medical Discovery" is not a potent medicine or secret nostrum?
a full list of its ingredients being printed on its bottle-wrapper and attested'
under oath. A glance at these will show that it contains no alcohol, or harm
ful habit-forming drugs. It is a fluid extract made with pure, triple-refined1
glycerine, of proper strength, from the roots of native American medical,
forest plants. World's Dispensary Medical Association, Props., Buffalo, N. Y.
ir
MEN Kidney trouble preys upon the
mind, discourages and lesnene
AMPl ambition; beauty, vigor and
cheerfulness soon disappear
WPiMFN when the kidneys are out of
H VU1L,M order or dineaned. For good
kidney remedy. At druggists. Sample bottle by
Address. Dr. Kilmer & Co., Binghamton, N. Y.
Hard to Satisfy.
"I always kiss him when I am In
aeed the money."
''And do you always get it?"
"Always."
"Then why that faraway, doubtfu'
'ook In your eyes?"
"I am just trylnsr to decide whether
he lets me have the money because
lie likes to have me kiss him, or be
ause he wants me to stop."
. Merely Suggested.
"I see where stripes and the lock
step are to be abolished In the Minn?
sota state penitentiary because the;
depress convicts."
"Very thoughtful on the part of th
reformers. Perhaps they will nex
r.bolish steel cages and barred win
dows because they give sensitive so
icurners that pent-up feeling."
Striking Personality.
"Do you observe his calm. Judlcia'
eye?"
Vt.
"His breadth of shoulder? Hif
firm-set mouth? His powerful Jaw?"
"I do."
"Well, there stands a man who
wrote '1911' the first time he tried i-
and has been writing the year cor
rectly ever since."
Punishment Fit the Crime.
"I think that when an able-bodler"
man comes around to a kitchen door
and has the nerve to ask for some
thing to eat he should be punlshec"
in some manner."
'So do I; why don't you make ar
example of the next one?"
"How can I?"
"Give him some of .your cooking.'
Still Running.
"What did that cowar!'y gossir
Gabbie, say when you maie your an
nouncenunt that you Intended t'-
horsewhip him for his remarks about
your family?"
"I didn't catch what you said."
"How was that?" .
"Oh, It was some kind of a running
comment"
TO AVOID
SICKNESS
You must keep the stom
ach and liver in an active
condition, the bowels free
from constipation and the
blood pure. For this work
HOSTETTER'S
STOMACH
BITTERS
has been used success
fully for 58 years. Try a
bottle today for
Poor Appetite.
Indigestion
Malaria
Dyspepsia
Colds & Grippe
Fever & Ague
All Druggists & Dealers
His Established Record.
A detachment of United States sig
nal corps stationed at Fort Meyer, Va.,
3as established a record for agility
shlch will be difficult to beat. It has
leveral times recently unpacked its
Tireless outfit, erected the antenna,
hlch is 40 feet high, and put every
hlng in readiness for service In the
ihort space of 68 seconds. This plant
.s capable of exchanging messages at
i distance of 25 miles.
Mothers wfl find Mrs. WInsloWs Soothing
Byrup tue brst reraedv to Use foi tneir cuiiuiea
luriug the teething period.
Child Safe in Sunday School.
An unusual experience was that of
the three-year-old daughter of Ser
geant Daviesof the Shrewsbury (Eng.
police, who disappeared the other
Sunday and was vainly sought for
throughout the night. It was not until
noon the next day that the child was
found peacefully sleeping in Holy Trin
ity school. Sbe had been inadvertent
'y locked in the building after attend
ing Sunday school.
PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS.
Your druggist will refund money if PAZO OINT
MENT fails to cure any case of Itching. Blind.
Bleeding or Protruding Piles in 6 to 14 days. 60c.
Beautiful Labrador Coast.
Doctor Grenfell says that the Lab
rador coast, which he knows so well,
Is every whit as beautiful as that of
Norway, and he is working on a chart
which will be accurate enough to
guide pleasure craft through the bays
and channels of that shore. There is
really nothing to go to Europe for but
the ruins. Youth's Companion.
One Way.
A Scotch student, supposed to be de
ficient In judgment, was asked by a
professor, in the course of his exam
nation, how he would discover a
fool.
'By the questions he would ask,"
was the prompt and highly suggestive
reply Tit-Bits.
Unappreciated Favor.
'Did you kiss papa before you
came out for the walk, dearie?"
'No. man: ma. But I nsked Julie to
do it for me."
The walk is called off. Journal
Amusant.
All Off.
"Can I see Miss Chick?" asked A.
Rooster of Old Chanticleer?"
'No," was the reply; "she la get
ting dressed for dinner."
More Immediate.
"Here's an affecting poem entitled
1st Youth.'"
"Don't talk to me.
dollar."
Has Been at Work Long.
In Sherbrooke, Canada, a power
company began work on a dam, and Id
the bottom of the river discovered a
perfect well, round and smooth bored.
The engineers followed it down-and
found the well was SO feet deep and
still boring. A round stone, whirled
by the rush of the river, had been bor
lng for how many million years? It
was still whirling, turbinelike, and
still borings New York Press.
rtlat.mn.r
. i : - 1 1 . e
in an us lorms, among an apes oi Dorses
and dogs, cured and others in the same sta-
I'll? If 1 C . C J, l M I1UU1 AA.t.lllg (Ub 1 . ,,.,11
Spohn's Distemper Cure. Every bottl
(.norantiwul C t ."Vifl fil i HnHlnd firtlil Inet
year. $.50 and $1.00.' Good druggists, or
iid to nianuiacuirers. aitciiis wanicu.
Write for free book. Rpohn Med. Co., Spec.
Contagious Diseat.es, Goshen, Ind.
V.'orld's Jewish Population.
The numbers of Jews in the world
Is 11,625,658. Of theee 1.903,926 are
in America. The only country In the
world having a larger Jewish popula
tion is Russia, with 5,082.242. In the
list of cities showing the percentage
of Jews to the population Jerusalem
comes first with 65 per cent., and
then Lodz, 49.59; Odessa, 33.75, and
Warsaw, 33.36. The Jewish popula
tion of London is 2.28 per cent.
But tne l runxmakers prosper.
' ."Here!" shouted the railway official,
what do you mean by throwing those
Irunks around like that?" The porter
asped In astonishment, and several
:ravelers pinched themselves to make
lure that It was real. Then the offl
:lal spoke again. "Don't you see that
rou'ra making big dents in the con
:rete platform?" Short Stories.
Only One "BROMO QUININE"
rhat Is LAXATIVE BKcMO QUININE. Look
for the signature of E. W. GROVE. Uoad the
A' arid over to Cure s Cold in One Day. 26c
The Difference.
Minister "Now, Tommy, suppose
you did something naughty and were
asked if you did it, what would you
say?" Tommy "I dunno." "You
don't know? Why, why? What would
happen if you told a lie?" "The devil'd
get me." "That's right. And what if
you told the truth?" "I'd get th' dev
il " Cleveland I.rsder.
One Point Lacking.
The story is told In Barry O'Brien's
book on John Bright how, on one oc
casion, Sydney Smith, while looking
critically at the unfinished portrait of
a celebrated Nonconformist divine,
said to the artist: "Do you not think
you could throw into the face a strong
er expression of hostility to the estab
lished church?"
His Salary.
"Ts your young man gittin' a sal'ry.
"Melia?" "Sure he is. An' what's
mo', de boss tol William he's gwlne
to double It." "Dat's fine! How much
Is he gittin' now?" "I dunno what
he's gettin" now. but I speck It's some
fin' like hMf vnt h"' ewlneter git."
Mmwwt
GREGQti AND WASHINGTON
FARM I ANDS
Lought and Sold
HARRY M. COURTRIGHT
Yeon BIdg., Portland. Ore.
Quite ao,
"Why is the public always bullish la
the market?"
"That's natural enough. ' It is hard
for the public to grasp ;the idea that
anything Is pvp- em' fin-n In orice."
II . . i
1 V .
V rj4 . t.-Jy
iilf'l'iafitiiiiirra
MliaT'!
is not a "food" it is a medidne, and the
only medicine in the world for cows only.
Made for the cow and, as its name Indicates,
a cow cure. Barrenness, retained afterbirth,
abortion, scours, cak ?d udder, and all similar
affections positively and quickly cured. No
o-.e who keeps cows, whether many or fewj
tic afford to be without "Kow-Kar.
It it made especially to keep'cows liealthjr
Our book "What to Do When 'Your Cows
Are Sick" .sent free Ask your local dealer for
'Kow-Kut; "orsend to the manufacturers.
Dairy Association Co, J.yndonv'Ua, Vt.
f
Send for our select list of
FIFTY CALIFORNIA PAPERS
You can insert display
ads in the entire list for
FIVE DOLLARS AN INCH
THE DAKE ADVERTISING AGENCY, Inc.
Vi
427 So. Main St.
LOS ANGELES.
12 Geary St.
SAN FRANCISCO
lllk;A.V!M
! &Sk2E
111
ALCOHOL
0PIUKS TOBACCO
VFmbits Positively Cored.
Unly ai:Utorizel ieeley in
stitute in Oregon. Writ
for illustrated circular.
sEttfT IXSTITU"- 71 E.1 1 TH .
Painless Dentistry
is our pride otir hobby our Btndy for jrrnri mnl
now our success, and ours ia the tx st j ainlPr-a work
to oe found any hero, no matter bow much 70a
pay. Compare our Prlcea,
&T?"K'-W& T,KS3f- WjfaSvsf- j e nniTi pinto and
' ; .. ' ? 4 britlno work for out-
of -town patron in
one day if dMtire-1.
fainli'U sxtriK-ticn
j. live wnen p mlt or
. i nridtfe work ia ortler-
..- xt'Jed. Coiuultition Ires.
M HolstCrs-iiS $5.00
, 1 22V Bridge Teeth4. CO
I Gold rulings 1.03
' . j Enimol Fillings 1.00
' . ? . , , 4 - V i Silver Fillings .50
-I I fl,lM 5.00
aL-J fuiS 7.50
Painless EiVtion ,0U
BEST METHODS
Als work fully guaranteed for fifteen years.
Wise Dental Co.,inc
Painless Dentists
Filling Building, Third end Wsshlnrton PORTLAND. ORE
Olnee Basra: H.H.UII.W. luuUys, IU1
A SMALL FARM
With water when the crop needs it pro
duces more than a large ranch without.
BUY 5 OR 10 ACRES OF
ML w. A. WISE, NntMvr urn Mtiuii
ts run otamom rtmiH
In Marion Co. Sj S. E. of Salem.
HARTMAN & THOMPSON, Bankers.
Osssber ef Cosnstrot Buittss.. Perdui, Or, Maaaten.
Brucs 06a ea sW Crssnis si Weil Sbrtea.
P N U
No. 12-'ll
w
HEX writing to advertisers plea
mention this paper.
W. L. DOUGLAS
IHI 2233?&'4SH0Esr.'.!iIll
W. L. Douglas shoes cost more to make than ordinary shoes,
because higher grade leathers are used and selected with greater
care. These are the reasons why W. L. Doualas shoes are guar
anteed to hold their shape, look and fit better and wear longer
than anv other shoes you can buv
tvBFWARf or suBsrmTFs.m
me genuine nave w. I, uougia name ana tne retail
price stamped on the bottom, which guarantees full value f
inrl nrAtsirla ikssursaarap Airainst liiari ntvir-a anrl snfsipinpasirssitL " . V
REFUSE SUBSTITUTES CLAIMED TO BE' JUST AS GOOD' t
for Mnii UrOer Omlni;. Sh.xn -nl rtirf.t fr tn fm-tory t" wpinvr, ail crvf tSOTS oHOFi
preputl. V, JU. Doyxlst, 143 ftrk St., ltrocklOM. aftuaa $2.OO,f2.604$OO
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES
I'Te Just lost Color more roods brtehter and faster colors than any other dye. One lOcpackage colorssilk, wool and cotton equally well
,and 13 guaranteed to rive penect result. Asa oeaier, or we will send postpaid at iuc a pactaee. write lor nee Doonues
I saw to dye, blch aud aux colors MONKO- DRUG COluPANY, Culncy, IUinola.