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About Heppner gazette. (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 24, 1908)
Night Sweats $ Cough. E. W. Walton, Condr. S. P. Ry 717 Van Nesa Bt., San Antonio, Tox., writes: 'During the Rummer and fali of 1!K)2, my annoyanco from catarrh reached that stage whero it was actual misery and developed alarming syrnr tomn, Biich aa a very deep-seated cough, night 6weat, and pains in the head and chest. I experimented with several so called remedies before I finally decided to take a thorough course of I'cruna. "Twoof my friends had gone so far as to inform me that the thing for mo to d was to resign my position and seek a higher, more congenial climate. Every one thought I had consumption and I was not expected to live very long. "Having procured somePeruna, I de cided to give it a thorough test and ap plied myself assiduously to the task of taking it, as per instructions, in the meantime. "The effects were Boon apparent, all alarming symptoms disappeared and my general health became fully as good as it had ever been in my life. "I have resorted to the use of Peruna on two or three occasions slnco that time to cure myself of bad cold-." Illlterncy In the I iiKc.l Stale. A study of the United States report on illiteracy revcjila some interesting Items. Iowa heads the list with only 2.'i Illiterates to each thousand popula tion, Louisiana nt the other end of the list with ;5S.r) to each thousand. No State with compulsory education has more than 84 Illiterates to the thou sand. The eighteen States without compulsory education laws have from 111 to 3S"i illiterates to each thousand of population. CASTOR I A For Infants and Children. The K!ad You Have Always Bought Bears tho Signature of Tit for Int. Affable I'arber You're very bald on top. sir. Self-Conscious Customer (much nn noyed) What if I am? You needn't talk so much. 'Ow about that squint of yours? London Telegraph. Itornleil It. Caller (trying to be complimentary) I notice one interest ins peculiarity about your little boy. lie is ambidextrous. Mrs. St nickoyle (with a frosty gleam in her eye) Not at nil, Mrs. Highsonie. His legs are just as straight as any body's. The favorite amusements of Queen Willi Ini'iiu of Holland are skating an 1 ridinc, but its n child her hobby was the keeping of poultry. The cleanest. lightest and nest comfortable POMMEL SLICKER At the same time cheapest In the end bfnise it wears longest $35P Everywhere Every garment, guaranteed waterproof Catalog free a j rowrn co poston u s a CRESCENT EGG-PHOSPHATE BAKING POWDER A modern leavener at a moderate price ; is 30 per cent, more efficient than "Trust" or Cream-of-Tartar products and absolutely free from the health-racking Rochelle Salts residue invariably accompanying their use. Get it from your Grocer 25c- FULL POUND 25c In tour n oiih aimilnr in any way to the al-pie? If J m. i need lo wenr noltl'ly. uninMitile irtml plate or ill I. It in, onlinary bridge or. The Hr. i elem of "TEETH WITHOUT FLATES" The remilt of 21 years' Hrienc". the new way of n-i'liu-iim tmh in the noiith-twth In fact, troih in t-Hmni. twill lo rhi-w your food iin. u you did iiion your natural raw. (hir lon-e ia ao ormn- Ititd w can do your i-ntire crown. I.ritluc or ilnto work In day if niwaMir. Toitivpli pain low rx-triu-ting thily hiiih-i lBa. arlcntinc work. WISE DENTAL CO, INC. lr W A. Wp. MiiM-r . aycura In Torllanil. (MM-ond Hoor. Ki.ilin Huildinx. Third and m)i. Inu-ton Nrffti tlftil-c houra, A M. lo 8 I. M. Sun- . dnva.ttolPM lainhva i ilrwKlBg, Uc. platca, I Id up. 1 boum A ut Alum ILUi j AW1 I .k, ' soa Z M II i wm ill Wll II WhM Children Were Mad to Smoke It may seem strange tiiat there was a period in English history when Ju venile smoking was enforced officially, but it Is nevertheless true. The diarist Ilearne, In writing of the Plague of London, says: "Even children were obliged to smoak. And I remember that I heard formerly Tom Rogers, who was yeoman bendle, say that when he was a school boy nt Eton that year wheu the plague raged all tho boys of that school were obliged to smoak in the school every morning, and that he was never whipped no much in his life as ho was one morning for not smoak-ing." The Country' Pent Drained Man. The best dressed man in the United States, according to the best, of au thority, is C. S. Kddy, a banker's clerk of Providence, H. I. Kddy possesses some fifty-odd suits, lie says that is approximately the number, but really It's too much trouble to count them.' you know. There is a suit for each day In a mouth, suits for social func tions, for driving, walking, for almost every special thing a human being can do. Moreover, It is said he is con stantly adding to his collection. Not Ifnrd to Do. "Oorgp," asked Mrs. Ferguson, "If I should want to put some money in the bank while you are away how will I go about it?" "Thnt'R easy, Laura," said Mr. Ferjru son. "All you have to do is to go to the bank, moke a noise like a depositor, and there will be somebody to see that you don't jet away till you have got rid of your money." Chicago Tribune. Mothers will find Mrs. Wlmlow Soothing Byrup the best remedy to use fox tlieir ch:lar' during the teething period. The Alphabet. The great Phoenician alphabet, the parent of every form of European writing and of the scripts of Persia, Arabia and India as well, owes but little to Egypt. It is true that in the construction of their alphabet the Phoenicians made use of certain hier atic characters found in their trade dealings with Egypt, but this fact in no way detracts from the glory of the invention which belongs to the "Yan kees of antiquity." New York Amer' can. Catarrh Cannot be Cured with LOCAL APPLICATIONS, as they cannot reach the scut of tho ilisense. Catarrh is a hlooil or constitutioiiHl di ease, and in order o cute it you must take inters, al remedies. Hull's (.' iturrh Cure is taken internal.-, andaetsdi reetly upon the blood and mucous ourluccs. Hull's Catarrh Cure is not a quack medic ne. It wa prescrilied by cine of ti.e best phvsic mis in : his cuunta.- for veuis und is a regular pros cription. It is coriipn-d of the best tonics know -.combined, with the best blood purifiers, acting directly on the murnus surfaces. The pcriect combination of tin-two ingredients is what produces such wonderful results in cur in' (Varr'i Send for test menials free. F. .1. CHF.NEY .v. CO., Props., Toledo, 0. Sold bv PriiL-ii-ts. j.rb e 7"c. Tu.e Hall's Family Pills for rorstipation. The quartz lamp is the latest electric lighting apparatus. It is a mercury-vapor lamp with a quartz tube in a glass cjobe, and resembles an arc lamp in gen eral appearance. It is to be used as a single lamp nt 220 volts, and has a rat ing of .',(HM candles, consuming 0.2T) watt per candle power. Its life is given at 1,000 hours, nnd nn advantage claimed for it is that it is unnecessary to replace any electrodes. Tn of. "You insisted on our coming to 4liis hot, horrid place," shrilled Mrs. Outsotne, "and I'm sunburnt till I look like an Apache Indian !" "Not nt all, my love," said Mr. Out some. "Your complexion is a clear, beau tiful light brown."' Thus did a soft tan, sir, as it were, turu away wrath. Chicago Tribune. Almost Hoeoiiclled to It. The Moors were preparing to leave the Alhamhra. "We might as well go, anyhow," they said. "The Americans will be here pretty soon looking for souvenirs." Hastily gathering up their ' trinkets, they departed, only regretting that they couldn't take the glorious landscape along, too. Aililinit to 111 Suffer I linn. The Itoctor I expected to go out of town next Saturday, as usual, to spend Sunday with my family in the country, but professional duties forbid. The fates nre against me. The lVofessor The fates are to blame, nre they? Well, it's natural for a week etuler to come to a lame conclusion. Horror of Politic. you knew something of it "Then al- ready V" said the chairman of the notiii- cation committee, much chagrined. "Yes," answered the nominee, "I saw nn intimation of it in the newspapers. In fact, gentlemen," he added, with a broad smile on his sunny face, "I had a printer's inkling of it." Chicago Tribune. Pale, Thin, Nervous ? Then your blood must be in a very bad condition. You certainly know what to take, then take it Ayer's Sarsa parilla. If you ..doubt, then consult your doctor. Weknov what he will say about this grand old family medicine. Sold for over 60 years. Thl l the flrtt qnratlon yonr doctor would k: "Are your bowi-ia regular?" He knowa that dslly action of tbe bowel ta absolutely Mentil to recoTery. Keep your llTer m-tiire and your tmwela rrgulr by taking laxalive doaet of A jer' I'lll. Jk Mad br J. C. Ajer Co.. Lowell, Kiu. I Aiao nuuiMiurwi or 7 II AIR VIGOR. vers AOl'E CURE. CHERRY PECTORAL. "There are at mv club." a couple of awful bores "Indeed! Who Is the other?" Child Cook, come quick, the nursery's afire! Cook What goes on In tho nursery is no affair of mine. Tell tho governess. Landlady You make nn awful noise with that flute. Hoarder Well, I'm sorry to hear it. Landlady So'u ev eryhody else. "I notice that you always sit at your wife's left, Mr. Mcggs." "Yes," frank ly replied Mr. Meggs; 'that's the side her glass eye Is on." Candid Friend You will have to work hard to win the heiress. Inijiecu nlus One I'll have to work a jolly sight harder If I don't. I'oet Well, the pulilishers have finally accepted one of my poems. Frank Friend Out of gratitude you ought uever to submit tnem another. Nell Love doesn't seem to agree with Maude. She Is thinner by twenty pounds than she used to bo. Helle She has loved and lost, eh? Tlt-I51ts. "Suppose I lend you the money you want, how do I know that I shall ever see it again?" "Is the word of nn hon est man worth anything?" "Oh, of course! Bring him to me!" Dawson The facial features plainly Indicate character and disposition. In selecting your wife, were you governed by her chin? Spenlow No; but I have been ever since we married. First Landlady I manage to keep my hoarders longer than you do. Sec ond Landlady O, I don't know. You keep them eo thin that they look longer than they really are. Tit-Ults. Mrs. Xeybore I bought a new piece of music for my daughter to play, and I think she'll master it soon. She was trying all afternoon. Miss I'epper She was, very! Pearson's Weekly. "Miss Richly," pleaded the kneeling youth, "tell me, is there any hope for me?" "I can't say," replied the poeti-' cal girl ; "you might consult nn insanity expert, however." Baltimore News. The Gardener (tendering his resig nation) Y'No, sir, it's the missus I can't abide. She's got inter the 'abit o' talkin' ter me Jest wot she does ter you. She fercits I can leave when I wants ter." Sketch. Barnes I hear your house was broken into the othor night and lots of silver plate and jewelry stolen. Shedd i les; but the rascals entirely over looked the ten tons of coal In the cel lar. Boston Trairscript. "Ah," he sighed, "I was happier when I was poor." "Well," they an swered coldly, "it. is always possible for a man to become poor again," But somehow the Idea did not seem to im press him" favorably. Chicago Post. Civil-service examiner (very sternly to Krastus Smith, colored, who aspires to the ollice of mail carrier) "How far is it from the earth to the moon?" Krastus (in turn) "Colly, boss, of yo's gwine ter put mo on dat route 1 don't want do job !" "Paw, would It be ungrannnntioal to .;ty, 'I seen you when you hid $10 un der the bureau?'" "Yes. son. both uu grammatical and dangerous. When you are in doubt on such points always come to me. and never go to your moth er." Cincinnati Tribune. Who was the' tirst man, Bobby?" shi. asked. "Coorge Washington," answer ed the young patriot, promptly. "Why, no, Bobby: it was Adam." "Oh. well said Bobby, who never lails to prove himself right. "I wasn't counting for elgncrs." New York Press. "I ohserve'tliat you invariably praise your rivals," said one actress. "Yes," answered the other. "It's the wisest tiling to do. It sounds magnanimous and also conveys the impression that yju do not consider them worth being jealous of." Washington Star. Cayboy A fellow can't be too care ful about his letters to women. Hen peck That's right. A woman got three letters from ine once" that have kept nie in hot water ever since. Cayboy You don't mean it? Henpeek Fact They were Yes. Philadelphia Press. "What a nice little boy!" said the minister, who was making a call. "Won't you come and shako hands, my son?" "Naw!" snapped the nice little boy. "My gracious! Don't you like me?" "Naw ! I had ter git fne hands an' face washed Jist because you come." Philadelphia Pros. Her luck "I met your wife yester day. "How well she Is looking." "Yes. Wo have been expecting her rich aunt to visit us this summer." "All!" "Of courso I don't mean t hat expecting her aunt has made my wife look so well, but It has kept her f roni going away anywhere for a rest." Chicago Record Herald. Very Snicnolou. A farmer had n very sagacious dog which lie had trained to count his sheep as they passed through a partic ular opened gate, against which a pile of stones were placed for the dog's use. As each sheep passed through the dog placed one of the stones aside. One day, much to the farmer's surprise, he found the dog trying to break a stone in half, and on himself counting the flock he found there had been au ad dition In the night of a lamb. SOMETHING FOR EVERYBODY The delivery of Loudon's milk ro quires 4,ri()0 horses. No fewer than l2 different ways of spelling Ypsllanti have been copied from envelopes and recorded by a post mister. The African peanut Is lew delicatt than the American as an article of food, hut it yields more generously in oil, and is more easily crushed. When a vessel is on her trial trip she runs four times over a measured mile, twice with and twice against the tide. Her average speed Is thus ar "lved at. Sailing vessels nre coining into vogue again, especially within the last five years, after having been practically banished from the ocean by the quicker and more easily controlled steamships. Owners of even theimallest toy man ufacturing establishments In the Nu- retnburg district, Germany, cater for the foreign trade. Factories employ ing from six to twenty people are no exception. Dokl Indians in Canada are to bt made wealthy by the sale of their pine lands. The total revenue from the sale of the lands will approximate $1,000, 0U0, and some families will receive as much as $20,000. Telegrams from Kiev state that there Is a plague of caterpillars In many parts of southwestern Russia. In some places the railway tracks are covered by swarms of the Insects and traffic Is being hindred owing to the ttate of the rails. China is a bad place for furniture. In the summer months it is so damp that furniture put together with glue falls apart and drawers stick, while in the dry months furniture goes to the other extreme and often exhibits cracks half an inch or more in width. Several earthquake shocks have been felt recently in the Congo district, Af rica. There have been no casualties, but the natives were panic-stricken. Many of them ran for miles and re fused to return to their villages unless 'hey received guns and ammunition. Canada's government has sent out a survey party to lay out the town site of Fort Churchill, the future metropolis of Hudson Bay. The only settler who is now on the proposed site, which is on the east side of Churchill river, op posite the Hudson Bay prist, will be en titled to a free grant of 1(50 acres. The following advertisement recently appeared: "Being aware that it is in delicate to advertise for a husband, I refrain from so doing; but if any gen tleman should be inclined to advertise for a wife, I will answer the advertise ment witnout delay. I am young, am domesticated, and considered ladylike. pply," etc. Philadelphia Gossip. Some navvies In a railway carriage were once in loud conversation, swear ing boisterously the while. One of them was especially fluent. "My friend," said another passenger in shocking tones, "whore did you learn to use such language?" "Learn:" cried the navvy. "You can't learn it. guv'nor. It's a gift, that's wot it is." Dundee Advertiser. Of the late Langdon Smith, the jour nalist and author, a Denver reporter said tho other day: "I remember my first visit to Washington. Smith, big and handsome and vivacious, showed me about. From an eminence a great pale dome rose up against the blue sky, the dome of the Capitol. 'What Is that?' said I. 'That?' said Smith, 'Oh, hat's the national gas works." A process for protecting iron and steel from rust has been invented and patented by T. W. Coslott. of Temple row, Birmingham, England. This con sists in immersing the article in a hot phosphorized solution containing an iron compound. The surface of the iron is converted into a mixture of ferrous and ferric phosphates, and pre sents a pleasing dull-black appearance. This process makes the iron highly re sistant to corrosion, and Is being ap plied to all kinds of light engineering work, such as cycle frames, gun bar rels, etc. Otto E. Sehaar, president of a club of New York waiters, said the other day of a parsimonious young man: "He- resembles a chap they tell about In Bucks county. This chap lived alone with his father. On the old man's death he would Inherit the farm. Well, finally the old man took sick. His end drew near. The son sat up with him n night or two, expecting him to pass away, but he lingered on. On the fifth or sixth night tho son. In stead of sitting up. put a lamp, turned very very low, on a table by the bed and wont to his own room with the caution: 'When you feci that it is ail over with you, father, don't forget to j blow out the lamp.' " A beautiful story Is told somewhere of Sir Hubert llorkonier, the iireat painter. His father was a poor man, j ual tho proiessor brought mm ir in his native land of Germany . to live with him in his beautiful house near London. Tho old man usM to model In clay lu his early life, and now that he had leisure he took to it again in his old age. But his hands trembled aud the work showed signs of imper fection. It was his one sorrow. At night he wont to bod early, and when he had gone his son would go into the studio, take his father's poor work ami make it as beautiful as possible. When the old man came down In tho morn ing he would look at the work aud rub his hands and say, "Ha ! 1 can do as well as ever I did." Scholars" Own, The entire inner portion of our bodies is covered with a soft, delicate lining' called mucous membrane; this is kept in healthy condition by the nourishment and vital vigor it receives from the blood. So long as the circulation remains pure this membrane will be healthy, but when the blood becomes infected with catarrhal impurities and poisons this inner lining ( I the body becomes irritated and diseased, and the unpleasant and serious symptoms of Catarrh commence. There is a tight, stuffy feeling in the nose, watery eyes, buzzing noises in the ears, often slight deafness, difficult breathing, etc. The disease cannot be reached by external treatment, though such measures afford temporary relief in some instances. S. S. S. cures Catarrh by cleansing the blood of all impurities and poisons. Then a3 rich, pure blood circulates through the body, the inflamed, irritated membranes heal, the discharge ceases, headaches are relieved and every symptom disap pears. Catarrh, being a disease in .which the entire blood circulation i- affected, can only be cured by a remedy that goes to the very bottom and removes every particle of the impurity from the blood, and this is just what S. S. S. does. Book on Catarrh and any medical advice free to all who write. , THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, GA. AuNtrallan C'adria. All children in Australia are drilled, hut the elder boys are attached to the Australian military forces by means of the cadet corps. Almost every large school has Its band of cadets, who wear neat khaki uniforms and are armed with light rilles, in the use of which they are frequently instructed. Every year those boys have shooting matches, and the scores prove that among the youngsters there are many who have already become skilled marksmen. London Standard. White Peril in tbe Eat. The "white peril" is as threatening to the East as the "yellow danger" is to the West. China and Japan should agree to stop the Europeans and the Ameri cans from cornering the whole of the in dustrial and commercial markets in the far East. The Taiyo, Tokio. CITC St. Vitus' Unnre and nrvous Ulaeawa prm llUnently cured hy Dr. Ine's Great Nerve Ke-ton-r. Sen'l for FREE $2.00 trial bottle nnH treatise. Dr. II. U. Kline. Ld., til Arch St., Philadelphia, Ps. A Dor on Clergymen. Bishop Potter, at aii ecclesiastical dinner in New York, read a Coopers town school boy's essay on Clergymen. The essay, which created much amuse- i incut, was as follows: "There are 3 kinds of clergymen bish ups rectors and cur.-its. the bishups tell the rectors to work and the eurats have to do it. A curate is a thin married man but when he is a rector he gets fuller and can preach longer sermons and becums a good man." Ilovr It Happened. "True, the night was dark, but he appeared to jumn deliberately in fro:.t ; of the automobile." was an actor and naturally dived for ' the spot light." Kansas City Journal. Helle of the Past. "So, woman, you treasure another man's photograph?" "Don't be foolish, Henry. This is c. portrait of yourself when you had hair." Louisville Courier-Journal. rGssenfc 2 BOTTLE 35CTS.ATALL CHEERS WHEN YOU COME TO FORTH! ARRANGE TO STOP AT THE COHNELIUS PAI AND ALDER STS. A New and Modern European Hotel, cater;" particularly to State people. A refined place ;'. ladies visiting the city, close to the shopi center. Kates reasonable. Free Pu. N. K. CLARKE, (late of Portland Hole:) Mjr. IS OUIl MOTTO Said an Employer: "Stick to qu::l:.;. It will win out in the end." V.'e di "stick to quality." That is the reason our graduates are so thorough and i: such demand. Investigate our claims t: superiority. Catalogue, business for:;?' and penwork free. Call, phone or write. Portland IJitfsiiicss Collet Tenth and Morrison, Portland, Oregon A. P. ARMSTRONG. LI-. B.. PRINCIPAL BUSINESS lVKH.AND. BEHNKE-WALKER STUDENTS SUCCEED. WHY? They are Trained for business Why not enroll in a in utab'.o I. M. WALKER. Tres. SEND ICK CATALOGUE iPREMIUMS FOR CARTON TOPS OR SOAP WRAPPERS From "20-MULE-TEAM" BORAX PRODUCTS "20-Ml'LE-TEAM" Borax. . 1 and ."-lb. C: Powder. lioric Sparutes, Horic Acid. Im'tr-v Ikirax Soap, Bcraxaid Laundry Soap. "Si'-ML'l.E- Send for 40-page Catalogue of 1,000 Valuable Premiums We Give Free For Tops and Wrappers from "CO-Ml'LE-TEAM" Po rax Products. Yoti will find many at-lc'es tf HousrhoM and Personal uw that you can obtain ABSOLUTELY FREE. All you have to 1 U to SAVE YOL K TOPS OR WRAPPERS. Address PACIFIC COAST BORAX CO., Oakland, Cal. BEST TRMTMEHT F0K CATARRH Literal. A house painter in a New Hampshire village was proceeding down "the main street" out? day when he was accosted hy a fellow-townsman. "Hello, Tom!" called the latter. "Why, I thought you were working ou old Spinner's house to-day." "I was about to commence the Job" said the painter, "when the old man fib ked a tjuaiycl with mo. He said he'd put the paint on himself." "Do you think he'll do it?" "Well," said the painter, with t smile, "when I passed just now that 13 where he had put a great deal of It." rever Met One lief ore. The butler, tired of having nothing to do, had gone out to the stables to com mune with the coachman, and was nosing aroimd in his usual dignified way. "My word!" he exclaimed, looking with some curiosity at an implement he had just picked up. "That's the biggest saf.; ty razor I ever saw. How do you put the blades in it, Jawge?" "Safety razor!" howled the coachman. "You bloomiu' idjit. that's a currycomb !" The General Demand of the Weil-Informed of the World has always been for a simple, pleasart and efficient liquid laxative remedy of known value; a laxative which physi cians could sanction for family use because its component parts are known to them to be wholesonje and truly beneficial ia effect, acceptable to the system and gentle, yet prompt. ! in action. In supplying that demand with itt excellent combination of Syrup of I Figs and Elixir of Senna, the Call- l fornia Fig Syrup Co. proceeds along ethical lines and relies on the merits :f the laxative for its remark' Me success. That is one of many reasons why ! 3yrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna is j 3iven the preference by the Well- Informed. To get its beneficial effects ; always buy the genuine manufac i tured by the California Fig Syrup Co., ; only, and for sale by all leading , '""uggists. Price fifty cents per bottle. YT. I. In:iirl:i8 makes nml srlls more turn's lfc.1.00 ami SU.50 slioe than :uiy other in:iiiuf;i'tnrer in tht world, be c;i.ise they hoi. I their shajie. fit better, and wear longer th in any other make. Shoes at All Piices, f?r Evs'v Menber of tho Family, Men, Boys. .omic, Nissjsi Childrci W.L.DoucUs$.00 and $5. CO Gilt Edf Shoei cannnt bo equaik-1 at any p.ice. W. I.. Dchk-ijij $2.50 and $2.00 shoes nre the Kjt in the v.-orld Fast folcr l:ifht l Excltisirclit. oy'l'ake o uUitule. VV. L. Dull,:';" n tine a:..l pn"e is sramivil on bottom. l 1 everwlu-re. M.oes nm.lcd from t.ictoiyto any put ot t!if worM. C:U:ilO','U'i trt-e. v . L. POITjUS. 138 Spark St.. Brock'nn. Mi. P N U No. 39-08 3 li FX writing- to advertisers plesue mention tuts paper. COLLEGE OKKOOX l a business-like way. chool that places all of its srraJuates? O. A. FOSSEKMAX. Sec GIVEN AWAY r.r.s. Poraxo Path rder. Violet P.orio Ta'cum ap 1'owtler. -Jo-Ml Lt-ltAM Soap. Cun of TEAM" Soap Chips. V