Heppner gazette. (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, June 07, 1906, Image 3

Historic Oregon Newspapers

Heppner gazette., June 07, 1906, Image 3

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Newspaper Page TextA Hair Dressing Nearly every otit likes a fine hair dressing. Something to make the hair more manage able; to keep it from being too rough, or from splitting at the ends. Something, too, that will feed the hair at the same time, a regular hair-food. Well-fedhairwiilbestrong,and will remain where It belongs on the head, not on the comb! The beat kind of a testimonial "Sold for over sixty yeara." A XU4 by J. O. Ayer Co., Lowell. Mats. Aito utauuotureri or SAKSAPARILLA. PILLS. CHERRY PECTORAL yers Ilia Awful Pate. Giles According to the coroner's verdict, a mob composed entirely of women was responsible for Green's demise. Miles How did It happen? Giles He accidentally got near a bargain counter where $1 shirt waists were being sold at 08 cents and was trampled underfoot Columbus Dispatch. Notbtny; bat the Truth. Mr. Askltt What age would you Father have lived In, Miss Thlrtlodd? Miss Thlrtlodd In the blrthdayless age, I think. Didn't Write to Her. Little Dorothy came hurrying home from school to tell In glowing terms about her new teacher, says the New York World. "What's her name?" "I don't know," Bald Dorothy. "Why, then, how do you address her?" "Why," answered Dorothy, "we do not write to her." New Orleans Picayune. The Practical View. "What I want," sighed the enthusi astic young star, "Is one of the delicate, dainty roles which take the soul Into Arcady." , "That's all very well, traveling the gentle path of dalliance to Arcady," said the heavy villain, "but let me tell you It's lots more satisfactory In the long run to get the fat parts that lead to the pork barrel." Baltimore American. Hint. We show the duke about New York. This," we explain, "Is Wall street" His grace yawns. "Er where Is Brad street dontye know?" he asks. The ladles of the party are much ag itated; It Is the first hint our distin guished guest has let fall. Puck. Had No Kick Co mine "I supiwse," said the young widow, coyly, "that you have been unfortunate In your love affairs." "On the contrary," rejoined the middle-aged bachelor, "I have been exceed ingly fortunate. I never fell In love with a woman who would have me." Simple Life. Aunt Mary The Idea of you marry ing young Wiggins! Why, he can't raise enough money to buy a square meal. Pretty Niece Oh, that doesn't mat ter; we are going to visit among our relations. Qneena Taller than King. There Is hardly a king In Christen dom to-day whose wife does not over top him by a head. King Edward Is quite six shorter than Queen Alexandra. The Czar Is overtopped a full head by the Czarina. Kaiser Wllbelm Is of the medium height but the German Empress Is tall, and that Is why the proud Kaiser will never consent to be photographed beside his wife, unless she sits while be stands. The King of Italy, short and squat, hardly conies up to the shoulders of the tall, athletic Queen Helena. The King of Portugal, though fat ter, Is less tall than his Queen. Even the Prince of Wales Is shorter a good four Inches than the Princess. The young King of Spain Js several inches shorter than his new bride. The Queen of Denmark towers above her royal spouse. Hatter of Diet. He Boston girls seem to have an air of superior Intelligence. She Oh, that's a matter of diet rath er than real knowledge. It Isn't diffi cult for a Boston girl to know beans. Indianapolis Banking Facilities. There are in Indianapolis, where the National Editorial association convenes in Jane, seven national banks with a total capital of $5,000,000 and total de posits of $33,400,000. The total sur plus and undivided profits are $2,725, 000. In addition there are six trust companies with a total capital of $2, 475,000; the surplus and undivided profits, $1,210,000, and total deposite, $10,300,000. All the banks of Indian apolis are in excellent condition, earn ing fair dividends and entirely worthy of all confidence. Mothers will find Mr. Wlnslow's Soothing Syrup the befit remedy louse for their children during the teething period. Church Are you acquainted with Flapbush? Gotham Oh, yes; why, we sleep In adjoining pews! Yonkers Statesman. "Do you think the widow will break his will?" "Won't be necessary. She did that long before she became a wld- inches ow." Philadelphia Ledger. Maid Are you at home to Mrs. Toney, mum? She's at the door. Mis tress I am If she has a new hat on not otherwise. Cleveland Leader. Inert Ike Wot does "procrastinate" mean? ixomeless Homer To put off. Inert Ike Gee, but wuzn't we procras tinated from dat fast freight! Cleve land Leader. Jones What do you think of the Louvre gallery? Smith (Just back) Oh, the pictures are pretty good, but there are no Jokes underneath them. New York Sun. Christian Science Mother Eleanor, what 18 the matter? Christian Science Child Oh, mamma, I got a terrible error of the mind In my stomach. Medical Journal. Strawler I've seen Snlppem, the tailor, going up to your studio every day for a week. Is he sitting fr you? jjeuoer iNo, ne laying for me. Cleveland Leader. Madge They say she is very clever, but I have never noticed It Marjorle Of course not She says all the clev er things about you after you have gone. Harper's Bazar. ' New York Man Why do they call Boston "the Hub 7" San Francisco Man Because the swiftest part of the country Is the furthest from It I guess. Cleveland Leader. "Do you Joke writers ever make Jokes at your own expense?" "For the first few years all our Jokes are made that way. After that, If we're lucky, we get paid for 'em." Ex. Mother Has Charles proven himself to be a thoroughly abstemious man? June Bride Yes, indeed! He partic ularly abstains from giving me any money Detroit Free Press. "There are too many grafters In the world," fold the patriotic citizen. "Un questionably," answered Senator Sor ghum; "pretty soon there won't be THE MM OF LQOB PURIFIERS I 0Ii!"TlO SPECIFIC, THE GREAT BL000 PURIFIES. J i "wli'J' Friendship's Tribute. "Didn't the wedding go off nicely !" ex claimed Miss Swpetun, enthusiastically. "Yea," said Miss Tartun, "except that rwvF Hadp TTd n noAHn'f Vi a us Kaon n n f ta da prompt in making her responses. She 1 enouh to 'roundV'-Washlng- hadn't the aliirriteat mnmn tn four that i ln Btar. Jack would repent and back out when she had him actually at the altar GASOLENE ENGINES 8 to 4 horse power fully warranted, (125. All sizes and t) lea at loweat prices. Write for catalog. REIERSON MACHINERY COMPANY Portland, Oregon. Around the World Ml have need your Fish Brand Slickers for years In the Hawaiian Islands and found them the only article that suited. I an now in this country (Africa) and think a great deal of your coats." (nami on application) iraEST mn touts fmum. The world-wide reputa- . tton of Tower's Water gVFPTi'i proof Oiled Clothing- tyPjr,eV assures the buver of X7aaaasTl the positive worth of i f Yrjf" all garments bearing f7tn a-nlfO this Sign of the Fish. A. J. TOWER CO., Boston, U. S. A. TOW EH CANADIAN CO., LIMITED, j;j Toronto, Canada. A Farmer's Irrigation. Under above caption in a recent is sue of The Furrow, the following arti cle appeared : "There is at least one man in the rain belt region of the United States who has solved the drouth problem, and in overcoming his drouth night mare he has somewhat unexpectedly discovered that every year brings a drouth, to a greater or less extent. 'I have put in, as yon see,' he said to me, 'a simple plan of irrigating some of my land from a little stream running through the place which I thought would give me crop insurance during dry years; but it has taught me that never a year goes by that there is not some period or periods of greater or lees extent that a watering does not greatly increase the crop. I can observe accu rately, because I have ray irrigated crops growing practically alongside those which get only rainfall for their watering.' This farmer s discovery of the effi CLASSIFIEDADVERTISING Portland Trade Directory Names and Addresses in Portland of Repre sentative Business firms. 1'HOTO Ht'PfUKH; Kodak drvelnplng and print ing; write for prices. U uodard, Clara A Co. MAUIU UX1KUXN- W1trr I'n., I'ortiaad. Lowest prices on Lanterns aud Hlklee, ELASTIC HOMKHY : Supportem, (trace: Knit to Htj free measurement blaiika: NVoodard, Clarke. HOHfKs of all kinds for sale at Terr reasonable prices. Inquire 27 Kroul St. THDNHES sent on approval; we ruarantee (It In moat diOlcultcaaea; Woodard, Clarke A Co. Miss Passey A fortune teller has told me where I should find my future husband. Mrs. Sltuplate Goodness! give me her address at once. Perhaps she could tell me where my present one Is. Judge. Hix I don't believe half our rich men know when they are well off. Dlx Where did you get that Idea? Hix At the court house. 1 was down there this morning looking over the tax lists. Chicago Dally News. "Dear John," wrote Mrs. Xewlywed from the shore, "I Inclose the hotel bill." 'Dear Jane, I Inclose check," wrote John, "but please don't buy any more hotels at this" price they are rob bing you." Smart Set Sporting Customer A pound of cheese, please. Grocer Gorgonzola or Cheddar? Sporting Customer Oh, I don't care. Start 'em both across the counter and I'll take the winner. Philadelphia Telegram. Cabby I 'ad a beard like yours once, but when I found what It made me look like I got It cut off. Bussy An' I had a face like yours once, an' No other remedy has given such perfect satisfaction as a blood purifier and tonic or is so reliable in the cure of blood dis eases of every character as S. S. S. It is known as "The King of Blood Purifiers," and the secret of its success and its right to this title is because "IT CURES DISEASE." It is an honest medicine, made entirely of purifying, healing roots, herbs and barks, which are acknowledged to be specifics for diseases arising from an impure or poisoned condition of the blood and possessing tonic properties that act gently and admirably in the up-building of a run down, weakened or disordered condition of the system. One of the greatest points in favor of & S. S. is that it is the only blood remedy on the market which does not contain a mineral ingredient of some kind to derange or damage the system. It is the one medicine that can be taken with absolute safety by the youngest child or the oldest member of the family, and persons who have allowed their systems to get in such condition that most medicines are repulsive to the stomach will find that S. S. S., while thorough, is gentle and pleasant in its action, and has none of the nauseating: effects it- Ala i. : 1 . 1 .- re 1 , oi iac umerent mineral mixtures ana concoctions onerea as Diooa punners. As every part of the body is dependent on the blood for nourishment and strength, it is necessary that this vital fluid be kept free from germs and poisons. So long as it remains uncontaminated we are fortified against dis ease, and health is assured : but any impurity. v Gentlemen:-S. S. S. la used as a family medicine in our . .11 home. I myself have taken and always found it what it la numOf Or poison acts injuriously on the SyS- claimed to be. If thoroughly cleanses the system of im tem and affects the general health Pus- Prltis. increases the appetite, improves the digestion, . . . 6. . and builds up the general health. I have given it to my tUlar eruptions, pimples, rashes and the children with fine results. It promptly restores the appe different skin affections show that the blood "te nd the skin of all eruptions. It ia a very fine , . . j i 1 . blood tonic and has my hearty endorsement. is m a feverish ana diseased condition as a 124 s. etu St., Lebanon, Pa. p. h. Thompson. result of too much acid or the presence 01 some irritating humor. Sores and Ulcers are the result of morbid, unhealthy matter in the blood, and Rheumatism, Catarrh, Scrofula, Contagious Blood Poison etc., are all deep-seated blood disorders that continue to grow worse as long as the poison remains. But all blood diseases are not acquired; some persons are born with an hereditary taint in the blood and we see this great affliction manifested in many ways. The skin has a waxy, pallid appearance, the eyes are often weak, glands of the neck enlarged, and as the taint has been in the blood since birth the entire health is usually affected. In all blood troubles S. S. S. has proved itself a perfect remedy and has well earned the title of "KING OF BLOOD PURIFIERS." It goes down into the circulation and removes all poisons, humors, waste or foreign matter, and makes this stream of life pure and health- sustaining. Nothing reaches inherited blood troubles like S. S. S.; it removes every particle of the taint, purifies and strengthens the weak, deteriorated blood, and supplies it with the healthful properties it needs and establishes the foundation for good health. As a tonic this p-reat medicine has no eaual. and it will be found RELY VEGETABLE esPeciaMy bracing to weak, anaemic persons. Kneumatism, vatarrn, cores ana Ulcers, cakin Diseases, Scrofula, Contagious Blood Poison and all other blood troubles are cured perma nently by S. S. S., and so thorough is the cleansing of the blood that no trace of the dis ease is left to break out in future years or to be transmitted to offspring. If you are in need of a blood purifier get "THE KING" of them all, S. S. S and good results are assured. Book on the blood and any medical advice desired furnished without charge to all who write. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC COMPANY, ATLANTA, OA. PU ciency and ease of irrigating was in a measure accidental. A little stream; when I found I couldn't get It cut off ARTIFICIAL KVKS; ejrery ahad. and han: as sortment ariit on approval; V utMlard, Clarke Co which showed a capacity in July of about six cubic feet per second, or say, 2,500 gallons a minute, which is a much smaller stream than the figures would indicate to the unwary, runs with a slight fall through a piece of rich bottom land and at one point near its lower end bad been dammed by the boys to form a bathing pool. Several years ago, while in the midst of a de structive drouth which was burning up the crops even on this usually moist bottom land, the farmer raised this dam by throwing in earth with the help of a plow and scoops, and crudely flooded several acres of cabbages, mel ons and some recently planted late corn, ine resuit was so satisfactory and the idea of overcoming nature ho fascinating, that the next year, after the spring high water season, a more substantial dam wai put in at the head of the field which enabled the flooding of the entire bottom, with a little rough surveying to find the levels. The yield is stated to have been enormous, and while the farmer's tendency has been to over-irrigate, he is learning more than he ever knew before about the great productive capacity of land which has enough water at the right time, and also the great response which comes from heavily manured soil when vol I annnMAn with vil Ilia iiam ia I grew a beard. Punch. "IX you know anything about this note?" asked the man from the col lection agency, sternly. The impecu nious one looked at the paper careful ly. "No," he decided, "I can't say that I ever met It" Cleveland Leader. Mrs. Goode (a clergyman's wife) My husband always says a short pray er before each meal. The New Cook (Indignantly) Well, he needn't take slch precautions phwile I'm at th' range ; I m no cocklu' school grad- ooate ! Puck. Friend What's that big box on the front of your machine? AutomoMlist That's a camera for taking moving pictures. You see, I go so fast I don't have time to look at the scenery, and so I photograph it as I go along. L'luustratlon, Daughter No, mamma, Harold has not proposed yet that Is, no In so many words. Mother Mercy on me, Janel You must not wait for words 1 Proposals are mostly made up of sighs, gurgles, stammers, coughs, hems, haws, and looks, you know. Ex. "What are you studying now?" asked Mrs. Cumrox. "We have taken up the subject of molecules," answered her PUTNAM FADELESS DYES Color more goods brighter and faster colors than any other dye. One 10c package colors silk, wool and cotton equally well and Is guaranteed to give perfect results. Ask dealer, or we will send post paid at 10c a package. Write for free booklet how to dye, bleach and mix colors. MONROE DRUG CO., Unionville, Missouri. Nothing; Common for Her. "I understand that Mrs. De Style is a great stickler for having everything of the most exclusive kind." "Yes; she discharged her doctor be cause be told her that her temperature was too low." Baltimore American. CASTOR I A for Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the Signature In Itnatness Circles. Plggs Anything doing In your line of business? Diggs Yes. One of our bill collec tors who had been working on commis sion starved to death last week. Of Coarse. "Poodelle, you mustn't forget to attend the official meeting this afternoon." "What's it for?" "We are going to double the capital stock of the company." "Tc double it? Great Seott 1 Where is the money to come from?" ''From the public, of course. Where did you suppose?" TITO ft. Vitus' rane and all Nervous Diseases l I w permanently cured by Dr. Kline's Orai Nerve Restorer. Send for FREE f2 trial bottle and treatise. lJr. It. II. Klin. , Ld.,fl31 Arch t., Phlla.,l'. Parental Solicitude. "Maria, who is that young chap that's coming to see Bessie?" "His name is Hankinson. lie seems to be nil right." "Io you consider him a safe young man?" "Bessie dos. She says he's in good cir cumstances and has been operated on for appendicitis. Dr. C. Gee Wo WOKCERFUL HOME TREATMENT Thin woniltrful Chi nese Ductor Is callfd great U cause lie ctirea people without opera tion In. u are Kive i up to die. Be cures with those wonderful Chi nese herbs, roois, buds, harks and veetahlrs that are entirely un known to medical sci ence In this country. Through the uie of thoss harmless remedies tli8 famnui doctor knows tneacilou of over Sou different remedies which he successfully uses In dllteren: diseases. He guarantees tocure cut arrh. asthma, lung, throa', rheumatism, nervousness, stomach, liver; kid neys, etc.: has hundreds of testimonials. I'harK-es moderate, t all and see hlin. Patients out of the city write lor hlnnkr and c rculars. bend etump. CONSULTATION i KliK. Address THE C. GEE WO CHINESE MEDICINE CO 162'i first St., S. C. Cor. Morrison Mention paper. PORTLAND. ORCGON. a cheap affair, built entirely by labor i n- "I hope you w 111 te very at ten on the farm, and largely reconstructed each year. It has no storage canacitv. Separator to be the hesu Write lor free csts.og. j th Jrri-tion dpnendino- pntir.U nrw llaxelwuua to, r inn ana uh. i r o j the regular now." With the loss of no time or labor and CKKAM 8KPAK ATORH V. guaranteeing U.S. SlKN-WCUTHIN Iluffum Penllelon. sole - n a A I twl lUtilami A I 'n m rc.rrwf . . I . a Kverythlns In men's lurnlshinKS. Morrison and at Considerably less expense COUld this Diain nmw. vpiftwuv i hi 1 11 i-v. farmer have secared the same, and even roiLTKV i-cxm-if yon want your hens to ' better, results by the hydraulic ram. more eeirs write us for free particulars shout PC- T. , . .. . kin a poiLTHV eKKii-Acuie xit i la co. It works automatically after once being Portland, orem. , started, both nights and Sundays, too, pianos a oroans oldest piano house on pa- just the same as interest and just as rifle coast. Organs and Pianos on easy payments. Bafalv tt nnnirai nn atlantiin k.i write list. ceu.q.i...eyouapr,ce. Alien eij. n requires no attention what- uuben-Kamaker co., Portland. th-(ron. ever, and need not be rebuilt every TELKORArHT TAt t.HT FREE. Com- 7e" doeB the dm I does more Mete course an pn.ii onj securea wne crnnuatni man merely to iurnisn water lor im- i country store keeixr -I ir.t Vm I'll 1 his offer irood only for short time. Write lor rar- . " icoui'ii p""v ltTsri K"l " ticuiars. l-At me i KLKtiH a pii iNsTiTUTK gating purposes. Pure water for the er send 'em up to you!" Well." ro- . - nouse ana Darn is also supplied No. 2305 "fcvery enterprising farmer should in . vestigate this ram subject if it is only writing-to sdreruisn pls I with the view of supplvini water to th. tive and practice constantly," said the mother ; "I tried to get your father to wear one, but he couldn't make It stay In bis eye." Medical Standard. "A girl," said Miss Prim, "should always teach a man his distance." "Yes," replied Miss Koy, "but the right sort of a man would know his dis tance. I have no patience with the fellow who stands off about three feet and then leans 'way over to kiss you, as if you were a hot potato." Ex. "Sody crackers? Yes'ni," said the Deafness Cannot Be Cured tir local applications as they rsnnot reach the diseased portion of the ear. There Is only one way to cure aea.utrss, ana mat is by Cunstnu tional remedies. 1'oafnces is caus d by an in flamed condition of the mucous lining of the Eustachian TuU. When this tube is inflamed you have a rumbling sound or imperfect hear. Ing, and when it is entirely closed, Iieafness is the result, and unless the inflammation can t taken out and this tube re to red to Us normal condition, hearing will be destroyed forever; niii ' cases out of ten are caused by Catarrh. w hich is nothing but au intlamed condition of the-mucous surfaces We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case of 1'eafnesg (caused by catarrh) that can circulars, free, not be cured by Hail's Catarrh Cure, bend for F. J. CHENEY A CO.. Toledo. O. Sold by Druggists, 75c. Hall's Family 1 ills are the best. Did the neat It Could. The photographer was preparing to take a negative of the prize bu'ldog. "Look pleasant," he said, mecuanically. The intelligent animal showed its fangs till more, but the effort could scarcely be called a success. AILING WOMEN. P. N. U. I -IT THEN writ If MSStlM piled Mrs. Medders, "I did 'low to take 'em with r.-.e." "Yos'm, but. ye we. lillt Hruser lie's n-tlozln' on top o' the this pa par. bouse to make it easier for bis wife. bar ! jest now an be nln t In the 1,-st , Foetr.MJlbQTn Buu,0f N o humor to-day." rhlladelphla Tress, t Keep tha Kidneys Well and the Kidneys trill Keep You Well. Sick, suffering, languid women are learning the true cause of bad backs and how to cure them. Mrs. W. G. Davis, of Groesbeck, Texas, says: "Back aches hurt me so I could hardly stand. Spells of dizziness and sick headache were frequent and the action of the kid- nevs was irregular. Soon after I began taking Doan's Kid ney Pills I passed several gravel stones. I got well and the trouble hat not re turned. My back is good and strong and my general health better." Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Y. wj OUNCES ffl Prove It By the Oven Fire Put the wonderful KC Bak ing Powder to the test. Get a can on approval. Your money will be returned if you don't agree that all we claim is true. You'll be delighted with the de licious, wholesome things that KA BAKING V POWDER will bring to life in your oven. K C Baking Powder is two thirds cheaper and makes purer, better, more healthful food than other powders anywhere near i. C Quality. 25 ounces tor 25 cents. Qet it to-day I JAQUES MFG. CO. Chicago Pnd a postal for -Book of Praams." DR. W. A. felSt. Pulling Teth Is th oldest of all dental wort. Hut nothing that modern dentistry has aocom pltxhm Is preater than ritraotlng teeth without pain. We tiav I yn-s' ripcrl ncs In doing th a. Wr ran nom-ntljr extract a sore tooth without hurting yeu. lr. Stardrvant, (ptcialist vu .h.ldreu' teeth and regulating. WISE BROTHERS ...DENTISTS... Fall r ntilldlne. Third atid Washington A. 11 to 1. M. Mind U li Umxu sditsb DR. T. P. WISC.