Amending: It
ou Rot a typewritten copy of this
peech in advance, didn't you?" asked the
reporter of the parly orRun.
"Yea," replied the reporter of the oppo
sition paper, "the Hpenker sent it in, even
to the 'cheers' and 'applause' in parenthe
ses." .
"Well, then what are you taking down
now?"
"The 'cheers' and 'applause' and substi
tuting 'sneers' uud 'groans.' "
In France, out of every 1,000 inhabit
ants, VSJ tire old people-of more than
sixty years, as against 73 in England
and 70 in Cerinany.
1 Annoyed.
"Wore you annoyed while on the wit
ness stand?"
"Slightly," answered tlio great cor
poration magnate. "The Judge and one
or two other people in the courtroom
seemed to think they were quite as im
portant as myself." Washington Star.
The Scientific Way."
"Yes, he calls himself a scientific
farmer."
"And what does the science consist
In?"
"Why, he stays in town and runs the
farm by telephone." Cleveland I'lain
Dealer.
A COLLEGE GIRL'S SUNDAY.
H wmm MBA k.d WT9
Impure or effete matters accumulated in the blood
during the winter cause in the spring such disfiguring
and painful troubles as boils, pimples, and other eruptions,
also weakness, loss of appetite and that tired feeling.
The best medicine to take to rid yourself of them is
Hood's Sarsaparilla, which thoroughly cleanses the blood,
and effects permanent cures by giving healthy functional
activity to the stomach, liver, kidneys, bowels and skin.
This is the testimony of tens of thousands who have
taken this great spring medicine.
Accept no substitute for Hood's Sarsaparilla, but in
6ist on having Hood's and get it today.
Sold by druggists everywhere.
Usual form, liquid, or in new form, tablets, 100 Doses One Dollar."
A Doctors
i
Medicine
Ayer's Cherry Pectoral is not
a simple cough syrup. It is a
strong medicine, a doctor's
medicine. It cures hard cases,
severe and desperate cases,
chronic cases of asthma, pleu
risy, bronchitis, consumption.
Ask your doctor about this.
" I have nsed s (treat deal of Ayer's Cherry
Pectoral for coughs and hard colli on the
clmat. It has ahvayn done me great Rood. It
in certain! a most wonderful coueli medi
cine." MICH AUl. J. FlTZUBRALD, Medford,
N.J.
Alio manufacturers of
yers
SARSAPARILLA.
PILLS.
HAIR VIGOR.
You will hasten recovery by tak
ing one of Ayer's Pills at bedtime.
Dr. Laurence I. Flick, an expert on
tuberculosis, is planning an international
convention, to b held in Washington in
1908.
(Jwili, the Welsh bard, has just fin
iBiitru iu n in aiisiaci:on a sermon on
which he has been engaged for fifteen
years. .
More (Converts
Every Year
Every day in every year
that comes, more housewives
are giving up their exhorbitant
priced Baking Powders and
turning to K C, the honest and
reliable, which has stood so well
the test of years. They are find
ing out that
BAKING
POWDER
A Joke (hat Failed Twice.
Miss Adelbert had just returned
from a vacation spent at a tiny village
on the Maine coast. In recounting her
experiences she talked somewhat for
the benefit of a cousin, a quiet person,
who was visiting her city relatives for
the first time In many years.
"There was Just one store in the
place," said Miss Adelbert, "and they
kept everything, that Is, everything
tbey had to keep.
"One day I went In to buy Borne
soap, and Just on a venture I asked the
clerk if they had Browning, lie stared
at at a second, then went off and
looked under the counters and on the
shelves.
"Presently he came back and said,
'No, miss, we ain't got none. We got
blacking, an' we got bluing, an we got
whiting, but we ain't got a bit o'
browning in the store.' "
Miss Adelbert had to make several
protests to assure her audience that
this really happened. Finally the cous
in asked, gravejy, "But, Cousin Bert
why didn't you say varnish in the first
place V"
costs one-third the price of
powder anywhere near K C
quality, and makes better, purer, more
healtmul baking. 25 ounces for 25c.
Snd postal for " Book of Presents.'
JAQUES MFG. CO.
Chicago, 111.
OH. W. A. Wist
18 YEARS HERE
An.l iln' nil rii'ntn'.wnrk a'l the time that 1
tin- r r 1 of iir S A. Wisp, Iiiimri-s-t;i!
ishniem arc expert ilentiNta who urn
cniiipi'ient to pt-rlorin Dm mo-t inior;nt
il"ii:ul opeiai ions. No ma:ter th' nature
of tin- w rk, then; Is a mim re lo do It.
WISE BROS., DENTISTS
Pit. H. A. sTfUIiKVANT, Specialist on
l h.lilren's Twill ami Ili'KUlaiing.
Iu'lin Hlili;., Th'nl mill WHxhintrion St,
h a. in. io n : in. rtu inl.iy.t V in 1J. M t. 2-rjj
Work Donf on Weekly and Moithiv Paymtnts
DR. T. P. wise.
There is more Catarrh In this section of the
country than all other difp&ses put together,
aud until the last few years was supposed tube
Incurable. Fit a great 1111117 yearsdoetori" pro-iiouiiUL-d
it a local uiseae, and iireseribed loeal
remedies, and by constantly failing to euro
with local treatment, pronounced It incurable.
Science bas proven catarrh to lie a coiiFtilu
tional disease, and therefore requires coiieiitu
tional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure, manu
factured by K. I. Cheney A Co., Toledo, Ohio, In
the only constitutional cure on the market. Jt
Is taken internally in loes from lOdropstoa
teaspoonful. It ai ls directly on the blond ana
muc his surfaces of the f ygtetn. Thev offer one
hundred dollars for anv rase it fails to cure
Bend for circulars and testimonials.
Address, K. J. ( HKMii' & CO., Toledo, O
Bold by lruir(rist, 7'c.
Hall s Family rills are the best.
Amending the Declaration.
"From a hasty examination," said
the doctor, "I am decidedly of the
opinion that you are suffering from the
peculiar trouble known as 'clergy
man's sore throat. "
"The you say!" exclaimed the
caller.
"It is quite possible, however, that
I may lie wrong. I will make another
examination."
Rppiwnt Iho survival of th flttt. We
have beiimieilie larjret seed htuihe In the
world wiyiiiM our hh--I nriMieiier Ihun
oihem. ln you wish lo row the miwt
beHiitlftil tlowerrt mid the llnost vev,'o-
lalilee T J i. m I the Inststviln terry s.
100(1 Seed Annual free to all
applicuuui.
m. rrppy a co..
Dotrolt, Mich. &)&4l
wwriTWBfli iT-itftriilft
CLASSIFIEDADVERTISIMG
Portland Trade Directory
Well Drilling Machinery,
Drilling: & I ishing Tools,
Irrigation Plant. Hydrau
lic Kdnis. Sprdy Tums.
Write Cs
reier:(w kachinery co.
isl t-c, Morrison Ft.
rortlitnd (ncKon
A l.t'A It A VIT.KII CTI1K I'OK PILKS.
Itchinc. Ill ml. lUei illnc, l'roiniflliiB l'ile. Drntr
pists an' inithonzi'il to ret'imd limmy if PAO
OI:.TjU-;N 1 fa Is to cure in 5 lo 14 Uuys. Jo.
Names and Addresses in Portland of Repre
sentative Business Firms.
1'IIOTO SI'I'l'I.IKs: Koilak ileveli.plmriimt prlnt
init; write lur ri eH. W iMiitanl, t 'lm ke A Co.
SlAlill' 1.AN1 KltNS Welsler Co.,
lowest prices on l,:mierns and Slides
Portland.
ELASTIC
Kit; free
HO-1 Kll V ; Supporters, llrnces; K oil to
iiieHsiirenieut blanks: VoMlard, I'li.re.
IIOItsKSnf all kinds for salo at very remonalile
prices, liiipiire 7j frviiu St.
Tltfssl-'s sent on approval: we cimrunb'P at In
most dillieillt cines; iHMlard, t'ha-ke A I'o.
Stt'KKT PKAS-Send n,-r,irprkc asMrl Knlriiold
Meilai puis. J.J. Iluter. ss l-roni mreet.
AKTIFKTAI. HVKS; every shade ami shape: ns
tMirtmeat sent on approval; V onWard, t'.urke l o
CKKAM SKPAItATitsWe tiuaranlef the t'. s.
Separator lo lie Hie best. Write lor ire call ur.
Ilazeiwood Co., Ullli ami ( ink.
If KN'S CLOTH TNH Iluffiim Pendleton, sole
aci'iiis Alfred HenlHm.n nrni'i rlotiie l-.very-iliitu;
In men's turn rhinkK. lurnsou and s.xtli
airteis. opiMAtte oaiiuliee.
FltKK I.AM IN OHKOON U'oler the Cnrey Irri-
f ilion ' l. Iwil d r-el Iroii sta'.e. Write today.
UKiklet and map !!-. It. s. Cookv A; 1 o., -yl
Allr stnn-t, I'ortlaod. oreiton.
WANTED
A brijriit man with team in yonrcoun
ty. Stt'aily work anJood wages to rijjht
man. liefereiices required. For par
ticulars address
KOCH V. T. CO.
Box X Winona, Minn.
The Genuine T0WER3
J VI At AlUb
SLICKER
HA3 BEEN ADVERTISED
AND SOLD FOR A
QUACItR OF A CENIUJY.
LIKE ALL
It 15 made of the btst
rateral. m bl&ck or yellow,
fully e-uwanteed. and sold by
reliable dceler everywhere.
STICK TO THE
SIGN OF THE FISH.
The Way of It.
Tlie Misus Mary Ann, please ex
plain to nie Low It Is that I saw you
kissing a young man in tLe kitchen
last nigtit.
The Maid Sure, I dunno how it is,
ma'am, unless yen were Iookin'
through the keyhole. Cleveland
Leader.
She Doilifm Church anil Devotes
Her Time to Odd John.
"The church of the future is to ho
wonianless as well as nianless, Judg-
from the women's colleges," said
the denn of a woman's college, accord
ing to the New York Press, "for it is
only by the strictest discipline that
we can induce the girls to attend
church. They Lave all sorts of ex-
cuses why they should not attend dl
vine worship and it's wonderful how
many headaches develop Sunday morn
in,'. Almost every woman's college
demands a church record from every
student and it is only by keeping thorn
under our thumbs iu this way that we
can be sure of their ever hearing a ser
mon during their college course. The
college maiden's disinclination to
fhurch worship is not due to an irre
ligious spirit, but it's because she
wants the day absolutely to herself to
rest, to dream, to write letters home,
to do the thousand and one things for
which there is little time on recita
tion days.
"Many girls look forward to Sunday
as the day when they may indulge in
the luxury of late rising. They won't
get up until 9 or 0:30, and then they
get a chafing dish breakfast in their
rooms. They say it rests them per
fectly and puts them in the proper con
dition for the rush and grind which be
gins the next day. There are rumor
that some of the students take Sunday
as a mending day and, of course, such
a practice would be stopped at once if
w only had actual proofs of it: but
such proofs are difficult to get. Some
time it looks suspicious if a skirt
binding which has been ripped all the
week appear nicely sewed on Monday
morning, but there is no reason why
the rewlng might not have been done
Saturday afternoon or evening.
"Punday the girls like to forget that
they are In college and become merely
the eternal feminine. They lay in a
stotk of good things on Saturday and
invite two or three friends in to take
supper with them Sunday evening.
They wash out their handkerchiefs
and stocks and clean their gloves.
They pet spots out of their skirts and
straighten out their bureau drawers.
They rearrange the furniture In their
rooms so that it will look less monoto
nous. They go to call on some of the
'town people.' They revel In a kimono
In the morning, because, they say, they
are obliged to 'get into togs' every oth
er day in the week. They read popu
lar fiction of the day and discuss the
marriage question.
"Sometimes they take long walks,
but these walks are always attended
by Sunday decorum and there is never
any junketing Sunday. They seem to
appreciate more the beauties of na
ture on that day and think less about
autumn leaves making a 'gorgeous
decoration for the sophomore dance.'
or about the 'perfectly grand fried
chicken and cream potatoes' that are
served at some of the weather-beaten
old farm houses.
"Sunday the college girl gives' her
domestic instincts free rein, but she
won't go to church if she can possibly
help It"
HAD CATARRH THIRTY YEARS
Congressman Mcckison Gives Praise to
Pe-ru-na for His Recovery.
CONGRESSMAN MEEKISON PRAISES PE-RU-NA
Hon. David Meekisoa, Napoleon, Ohio, ex-member of cosgreEB, Fifty-fitb
district, writes: v
i "I have used several bottles of Peruna and I feel greatly benefitted thereby'
from my catarrh of the head. I feel encouraged to believe that if I use it a short
I time longer I will be fully able to eradicate the disease of thirty years' standing." I
j DAVID MEEKISON.
ANOTPER SENSATIONAL CURE: Mr. Jacob L. Davis, Galena, Sione county,
Mo., writes: "I have been in bad health for thirty-teven years, and after tak
ing twelve bottles of your Peruna I am cured." Jacob L. D.ivis.
If you do not derive prompt and satisfactory results from the use of Peruna,
wri e at once to Dr. Hartman, giving a full statement of your care and he will
be pleased to give you his valuable advice gratis.
Address Dr. Hartman, President of The Haitman Sanitarium, Columbus, O.
A CONSERVATIVE GIVER.
lit
til?
tm
X
IT0WFB CANAMAN CO. t.lt
, ioionio. can.
A J TOWJB CO.
01tOM.riAS U 14
Mothers will find Mf, Wlmlow'g Boothlng
Pyrup the best remedy touse for their children
during the teething rriod.
So, -There!
"Ila! You refuse me, then, proud
beauty? Well, I know your reasons?
Were I rich you would bo but too glad
to accept me."
"Mayhap, it Is even so, Rupert Fitz
goobler. Hut by my troth you would
Lave to be a whole lot richer than
cnybody else In the world, I'll tell you
that." Cleveland Leader.
FITS
IWI.TR V V(MH If jr.m want your hen to lr
inor f-Ki" writn im tor fr.- rartlciilara ttiit llr
lil.NA rol'MHY i KMi Ai-mn Mills Co..
l'on:ol, Uri'Kon.
TAIIXKH f'olnnitiin Wn.ln Mill '.. Portland.
Or. I.aipt Htylr rlntli- itiAl t nifAMirertic up.
mrieil it!-aAun'ni'nt aytfni tnfttirvs ritt-t tit.
Write for fri aaiiipUiiiiil prion.
riAXOS CltlANSll,t. rtann hnnw on Pa
cific maT. 1 irican ami Piano on wr paymf-m. I
w rile .r lii'i uint yun a rne. Allen A
(llbert-Kamakfr '., Portland, oren.
Orciron llrtH Snertflc tb!I Kidney and ltladW
tr"iin:e. urv II A k A II K. fr.c-mr. I rial
ire Kent liy mall lur IDc Id clamps. Send today.
3MI. Third St.
Xinman ItairtJorvIt Swltrhe. Pompadour, Men'
1 oupe. and it: fcet 4iia!!iy : kmeM pr:re;
end f tnfe price lI: mail ord-r pe-iaUr.
i'aria liair Mure, ua Washington L IBM.
Dr. C. Gee Wo
WONDERFUL NOME
TREATMENT
Th w n.l rfiil rhl
fese l.-:or I ra'l'd
pr-Hl Im-nine lie c ir,
leil without cie.-a-lion
iliitl are e'.ven op
to llle. He rure wtlh feij
lh..e wondi rrnl t ill- faJjA
l-ai k and veteliil,:. EtiL.'-v- Jr..
thMt are entlrt-.v 11 .! J' ri i'Vli
known in ni-l ral m-:- 4t lTiu D Jjt J'.'J
em-e in in c 'it itre. i nro ihe oi tiioat
h.irmlrs r'iii.di till lam.iu do.'ior kimv
theartiou of over &HI d.f e-.-m r.Mnedlp w lil.-h
h aiii-ei'ully use In .l.rT. r.ni Omeaw. II
niHrnni.e.l.x iireoj-arrli. aMIima. hinir, ihr -a',
tli. ninailHiii, iicrvoiisn., nuiinai h, ller: k.d
n , etc.; ha. huidr-d if trallnionlal.
harre moderate. ail and ee lilm. I all. nl
nit of the t it jr w rite for hlnnkr and rcular.
h nd ttaiiip. CuNstl-TATIoN r liKI.
.ddrtss TKE C. GEE WO CHINESE MEDICINE CO
162' a Tint St.. S. t. Cor. Morrison
fj
ki I!
ro t ii
Mention pcr.
POriA!SD. OREGON.
P. N.U.
No. 9-06
ITTUElf writlnc to art re rtlaera
IT uontloB tb la paper.
rermnnpntly rnrod. T'o fllsor nerrousnes
after lirst clav'Mieof lr. K 1 1 lie' i; rent N.rve
iiesiorer. fer.ii ,.r I ree.'i trial hoitle and treatise.
Ur.K. II. Kline, Ltd.,S3l Arch St.. Philadelphia, l'a.
l.aty l'hlloaophy.
Mrs. Ascuni Doesn't that lazy hus
band of yours work for you at all?
Mrs. J ark son 'Deed, ma'am, he say
he ain't cwine tor, kase he's a-tryln' to
lib tip to the bible teachin'.
Mrs. Ascuni What bible teachin:;?
Mrs. Jacksiui He say do bible done
toll us dat "Contentment am bett.ih dan
preat riches." so ho des nacber'ly 1huiii1
ter le contented. riiilndolphia 1'ress.
TO t t ltK A Col li IX (INK PAY
Take I .A X ATI VK niMMiHJiiliilneTnWets. Prne
;it r. fuml money II It fat x to -nri. E. W.
..lUtVI. siKiiulure Is on each ho. Site.
Strnj- fow'i Art.
A stray cow, picked up by the po
lice on the South side, nearly put the
ollicer out of business and creates! bts
of fun for the urchins In the ne!rrh
borhood. The row was raptured by
the newly appointed subpoliceman.
and, wishing to distinguish himself
by an arrest, he determined to take
the bovine to the station house. Pro
curing a rope, he fastened it to her
horns and started down Cottage Grove
avenue. The thoroughfare was slip
pery from a rainstorm. nud in a Iffy
the lolicemnn was sliding down the
asphalt on bis stomach, with the row
on a dead run. The olllcer was g.-ime
j and hung on to his captive for a
j square, when the boys headed the ani
mal oft". He landed his prisoner ami
then begged off for the night to clean
up. Chicago Inter Ocean-
Squire Flanders was detailing the
characteristics of the late Amos How
den, one of his follow townsmen, to
Mr. Partridge, a new comer in Scy-
niouth.
"As a loading citizen, we rather ex
looted Amos 'd do something handsome
for the town," said the 'squire: "re
member it to the tune of a few thou
sand for a libr'y, or something."
"And he didn't?" asked Mr. Par
tridge, with easy interest.
"Ho didn't," repeated Squire Flan
dors, dryly, "lie didn't make any pub
lic bequests at least, not any out-and-out
ones. Some years ago his wife per
suaded him to put a fountain in the
squaro, In front of the iostotllce, nnd
the agreement was that he was to keep
it in repair, the town to reimburse hiin
for half the expense. m
"You don't know what our winters
are, but you will by spring." the squire
continued, prophetically, "so you'll
have to take my word for it that that
fountain cost the town pret' near 's
much 's the schools. Kverv year, regu
lar, the pipes had to be dug up, and
new pieces put In where they'd froze
up and bust, nnd after a while we
owed Amos quite a little sum. In his
will he canceled that obligation, and
that was the extent of his renieniUT
lug the village be was lorn and
brought up In an.l him close to th
millionaire line."
Mr. Partridge smiled. "He wasn't
what could be calks! a royal giver." ho
commented.
"Royal I" gasis d the squire. "You
couldn't have led him blindfolded up
to the word. I'll tell you how 1M
Vesey sized Amos tip." he continued
witn nappy roeoiioetion. --ir aidos
was an ostrich,' I'd s.-tld. 'and was
'goin' to lay an egg. he'd sure lav a
jKAvee's egg. An" he'd rail It,' says Kd
'keeping on the safe side.""
Chinese Glrla Star at Home.
Chinese girls as a rule are not sent
to school ; the mother superintends j
their training In housework. As soon
as the girls are old enough they are i
taught to cook, sew, make and mend !
clothes and Indeed do all domestic
work. But the enlightened Chinese
sends his daughter to school when near
a mission or some other school.
Aa They Danced.
Twas nt a hop that he proposed;
His heart went thump-ty-thump.
But that same heart was true, and she.
Accepted at a jump.
Plenty of Time.
They were discussing the canal.
"I don't think, said one, "that P.ige
low stayed down there long enough t
learn anything about conditions."
"Oh, I dunno,' said another;
can pet eonsideralde bit up by
less 'en twenty-four hours."
a man
fleas in
Imagination.
Sandy Gritty George went up da
road an' told all de ladles in de way
side cottages dat I once had a castle
tn France an' an automobile. '
Dusty Gee '. Vid such a press agent
as dat yer ought to git on de stage.
,...xk'-h-K'':"X:.-X'-''':'-:':'
HE ATTENDS TO BUSINESS
who goes straight to work to cure
Hurts, Sprains, Braises
by ths use of
St.J
aco
End saves time, money and gets out of misery quickly.
It Acts Like Magic. Price, 25c. and 50c.
V
V
T
T
V
Y
r
r
y
v
v
y
hs Oil
The Little Doctor in
your Vest Pocket
3
Teacher Johnny, for what Is Switz
erland famous?
Scholar Why nf in Swiss cheese.
Teacher Oh. something grander,
more Impressive, more tremendous.
Scholar I.hnburger? t'levrhiTid
I lender.
Open to n lotion.
"IV you Kdiove in reiii.-ani iti.in :"
n;ded Smith.
"I don't know," answered the man
who weighs his opinion;. "I hive
never seen It tried." Washington Star.
EE the thin, round-cornered little
Enamel Box below I When
carried in your vest pocket it
means Health-Insurance.
It contains Six Candy Tablets cf
pleasant taste, almost as pleasant as
chocc'ate.
Each tablet is a working dose of Cas
carets, which acts like Exercise on the
Bowels and Liver.
It will not F'Jrge, sicken, nor
upset the stomach.
Because it is not a " Bile-
driver," like Sails, So
dium, Calomel, Jalap,
Senna, ncr Aperient
Vaters.
These waste Diges
tive Juices cf the
system needed to
morrow, in merely
flushing out ths Bow
els today.
Neither Is it like
Caster Cil, Glycerine,
cr Cher C:ly Laxa
tives that simply
lutr-eats the Ir.tes
t.r.es fcr transit cf
the food stepped up ia them at that pirc
ular t.rr.e.
These emergency drugs relieve the
Immediate trouble, tut do net relieve Ps
Cause. "
The same trouble will therefore recur
again till that Cause is removed permanently.
The chief cr:? cf Cor.st:pa!:rn ar.d
digestion is a weakness cf the Muscles
that contract the Intestines nd B:el;.
Carearets are practically to the F:?l
Muscles what a Massage and Cold E-;a
are io the Athletic Muscles,
They stimulate the Bowel Muscles to
contract, expand, and squeeze the Diges
tive Juices out cf food eaten.
Cascarets do .'this naturally, without
purging cr discomfort.
They dsn'j help the Bowels and Liver
in such a way as to make them lean up?r
similar assistance fcr the future.
This is why, with Cascare'.s, the dos
may be lessened each succeeding
time instead cf increased, as it
must be with all succeeding doses
cf ether Cathartics and Laxauves.
Cascarets acj 1 ik a
exercise.
If carried in your
Vest Focket, (cr car
ried in My Lady's
Purse), and eaten
just when you s;
f ect you need cr.e.
you wilrr.ever know a
sick cay from ths
S&ea'ic s:.e cf" lst fWJkti"
Cjsciret T.-r r.v:.:-; to WcU h.
ills cf life.
Fecause.r.ea:!ya!l
these z be-In in
the Bowels, and
p.trtil Ccnstiraticn
all ether Diseases.
"Vest Focket" box
paves t.-.s
fcr
13 cents.
cn.y
and r.
sure
y th
you get the
fie genutre.
Remedy C
ver s:.J in tu.fc. Ev
Sterling
rrads
pa::v.
ery ullct
tf-FREE TO OUR FRIENDJt
We wart to sr?3 t c-.r --1 a tn:;r..i
tt-A-iti(rl btlLD-rt.lfc B0.NEUM t v
kari-enam'iej Is uk-ts. It is a N-sc.y for v'
crt-Siin tjil.c Ten i certs in rtjnrjs is asked ai a
eiMsarvf pvJ toe. .. r cct cl tAwcatr s
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