l M I 1 1 1 1 1 1 II t I.M M 1 1 1 1'l 1 1 1 M MdTIM'l 111 1 1 1 1 1 1 i
I IF YOU DOX'T READ
j THE GAZETTE j
: Yuo don't get the news. ;
5 i ii m 1 1 1 1 1 1 i i nil tin i t'l 1 1 1 J i l l 1 1 1 Kit 1 1 1 1 1 i i i i it
OFFICIAL
PAPER
it I in 1 1 m ii 1 1 1 1 1 in nil in 1 1 1 1 tut 1 1 m I rt 1 1 ii t fur
KEEP YOUR EYE ON j
j THE GAZETTE j
2 5
: Tbe paper of the people.
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ill I I I f n 1 1 i 1 1 ,,, HiH iHinili;tiiitlll I I I fl 1 1 IWI Ill
tmmt
TWELFTH YEAR
HEPPNER, MORROW COUNTY, OREGON, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 1894.
i WEEKLY NO. 601.1
8EMI-WEEKLY NO. 265.1
I: M 1 ;V EE K L Y GAZETTE.
Tuesdays and Fridays
-BY
ME PATTERSON PUBLISHING COMPANY.
A: (3.5 ) per year, $1.25 for six montbs, 75 eta.
tor three momns.
Advertising Rates Made Known on
Application.
Til IB PAPEK is kept on Hie at E. C. Oake'a
Advertising Agency, H and 05 Merchants
Kxchaiipi, Han irancieoo, California, where cou
nictu fur advertising can be made fur it.
Union Pacfic Railway-Local card.
vo, 10, mixed leaves Heppner fl:45 p. ni. daily
except. Hunaay
ii), ar. at Willows Jo. p.m.
y, leaves " a. m,
H, " ar. at Heppner 5:00 a. tn. daily
mmpt Monday.
t- ftftt bonnd, main lino ar. at Arlington 1:2(1 a, m,
Wont ' ' ' leaves ' 1:24 a. m.
' Went bonnd local freight leaves Arlington 8:85
a. in., arrives at The Dalles 1:15 d. m. Local
passenger leaves The DalleBiit 2:01) p. m, arrives
at. roruana at :uu p in.
United StateB Officials.
t'letinleiit Q rover Cleveland
Vicc-i'miflidwut Ad ai Htevenson
Hetyetiiry of Htute Walter Q. (ireshaju
St'UiHtury of Treasury John G. Carlisle
sweretary of Interior Hoke Binith
rtucruiary of War Daniel 8. Lament
-sooretary of Navy Hilary A. Herbert
I'umuiKHter-General Wilson 8. Bissell
A tt-irfieyt General Hichard 8. Olney
fWoretary of Agriculture J. Btorling Morton
State of Oregou.
ttoveraor ...8. Pennoyer
Secretary of Btate G. W. Mofinde
J reasnrer Phil. Metschan
Bupt. Public Instruction ,.E. B. McElroy
- rar
vr&r-
Printer Frank C. Baker
( V. A. Moore
4-ipmme Judges , W. P. Lord
(R.B. Bean
Seventh Judicial District.
Clrcnit Judge W. L. BVadshaw
lJwiuing Attorney A. A. Joi-ne
Morrow County Officials.
toiut Senator A, W. Gowan
Kapresentative. J. B. Boothby
"uutyJndge Julius Keithiy
1 (Jommissioners J. H. Howard
J. M. Baker.
" Clerk J.W.Morrow
" Sheriff Q, W. Harrington
" Treasurer frank Gilliam
Assessor J. Willi?
" ytnrveyor Geo. Lord
School bup't Anna HaUiger
Coruner T. W. Ayers, Jr
ItEFPNKB TOWN OFPIOKRS.
VajOt P. O. Borg
'ounciliiioii O. E. Fnrnsworth, Mj
Lichtentlial, OtiB Patterson, Julius Keithiy,
W. A. lohnstou, J. L, Yeager.
UMxnler.M.' .F. J. Hallock
I'l'inmimai A. M. iiauu
Marshal
Precinct Office rp.
Justice of the Peace..: ...,,..!. h. Kroeland
rmiHtable N. 8. Whetstone
United StateR Land Officers.
THE DALLEB, OK,
I. F. Moore , Itegister
A. t. Biggs Receiver
LA OHANDE, OB.
B. F, Wilson Register
J.H. UobhinB Keceiver
SSsCSaSTC SOCIETIES.
Doric Lodge No. 20 K. of P. meets ev
ery Tuesday evening at 7.80 o'clock in
their Castle Hall, National Bank build
in.. Soionrairnr hrot.herfl iinrHiftllv in.
vited to attend. A. W. Patterson, C. C.
W. V. i;bawfohd, K. of K. & 8. tf
KAWLIN8 POST, NO. 81.
G. A. R.
Mf-ets at Lexington, Or,, the last Saturday of
ach month. All veterans are invited to join.
" C. Boon, Gko. W. Smith.
Adjutant, tf Commander.
LUMBER!
XfS HAVE FOR SALE ALL KIND8 OF UN
ii dreBaed Lumber, 16 miles of Heppner, at
what is known aa the
SOOTT SAWMIIjI-i.
FEB 1,000 FEET, ROUGH,
" " " CLEAR,
- 110 00
- 17 60
rF DELIVERED IN HEPPNER, WILL ADD
L 5.00 per 1,000 feet, additional.
L. HAMILTON, Prop.
D. A.. Hamiltoni Man'er
iiai Bank i
WM, PENLAND. ED. B BISHOP.
President. Cashier.
TRANSACTS A GENERAL BANKING BUSINESS
COLLECTIONS
Made on Favorable Terms.
EXCHANGE BOUGHT & SOLD
HEPPNER. tf OREGON
Oaveats. Trade-marks, Design Patents, Coprights,
And all Patent business conducted for
MODERATE FEES.
Information and advice given to iaventon wltbo
tfcarge. Address
PRESS CLAIMS CO.,
JOHN WEDOERBURH,
Managing Attorney,
" O. BOX 46S. WA8HIV0TOX, D. G
7This Company la managed by a combination of
tlte largptt and most Innaential newspapera In thm
1 al;eu SJtei, for the express parposa of arttw
lea; their mbMTibtri against tmacnspaioaa
l-i iacompetent Patent Agents, ud earta papal
pi miicg UjU alvertlMment roacbeafortbe respooai.
tJUtraod tugb Kxniid of Uim Presi Claims Coinaaaj,
HIM
Safest.
"As old as
the hills" and
never excell-i-d.
" Tried
and proven"
is the verdict
o f millions.
Simmons
Liver Regu
lator is tin)
iPTrPV0Xil Liver
JLJKst'l'l'l and Kidney
medicine
to
which
you
can pin your
faith for a
cure. A
mild laxa
tive, and
purely veg
etable, act
ing directly
on the Liver
and Kid
an
Pills
neys. Try it.
Sold by all
Druggists in Liquid, or in Powder
to be taken dry or made into a tea.
The Kins; of Liver Medicines.
" I have used yourSlmmons Liver Regu
lator and can eonselencioUHly say it is the
king of ail liver medicines, I consider it a
medicine chest in itself. Geo. W. Jack
son, Tacoma, Washington.
' -KVF.RY PACKAGE'S
Has the Z Stamp In red on wrapper.
Thecomparativevalueofthesetwocarda
la known to most persons.
They illustrate that greater quantity !
Not always moat to be desired.
These cards express the beneficial qual
ity of
Ripans Tabules
As compared with any previously known
DYSPEPSIA CURB
Ripans Tabules : Price, 50 cents a boitj
Of druggists, or by mail.
RIPANS CHEMICAL CO., 1 0 Spruce St., N.Y.
THE
WISCONSIN CENTRAL LINES
Run Two Fast Trains Daily
Between St. Paul. Minneapolis, and Chicago
Milwaukee and ail points in Wisconsin making
connection in Chicago with all lines running
East and South.
Tickets sold and baggnge checked through to
all points in the United States and Canadian
Provinces.
For full information apply to your nearest
tieket agent or JAS. C. POND.
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:SeyeLSOrMAiL"PBES
A ii! FOR 10 1-CENT STAMPS
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win w lor i year oomiy
(rinted on gummej
abels. Only Directory
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customers ; from pub
llHhers and munufac
turers you'll receive,
probably, thousand o
valuable books, japer
sum vien,maguzf nes , etc.
t free and each uaiT
'vour Drin ted adrlresH latjel;
Dasted thereon. EXTRA! We wll
also print and prepay postage on .YX) o
your label addresses to you; whict
stick on your envelopes, books, etc., u
prevent thir being lout. J. A. Wahk
of KeidHvllIe, N. C., writes : " Fron
my '& cent addrew Id your l-tghtnint
IMrerWiry Pre received my 50fi addrew
labels and over 30O Parrel 01
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of mail from all jaru of the W'oria'
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QUIOIi TIME !
San Francisco
And all pointe in ('alifornia, via the Mt, Hhaste
nnte of the
Southern Pacific Co.
The great biithwuj through Oalifuruia Ui all
Points Last and South. Urand Hemic Rout,
of the Paci6o Coast. Pullman Buffet
Sleepers. Second-clans Sleepers
Attached to express trains, attordinc superior
accommodations for second-claes passengers.
For rates, tickets, sleeping car reservations,
etc.. eall upon or address
8. KOEHLER, Manager, E. P. ROGERS, Asst.
Gen. F. A P. a (ft, Portland, Oregon.
. Those owing ns must do a little of
what tbe Qozette bee a great deal lo oc
copj ita time junt now. Every little
belpe, and money we mnet have.
7
H Made Id all Btylea and sizes. Lightest, g
1 strongest easiest working, safest, simplest, f
I moat accurate, most compact, and mopt. S
3 modern. For sa!o by all dealers In anm. m
I Catalogues mailed free by
j The Marlin Fire Arms Co., 1
9 New Haven, Cons., 0. S. A. ja
in one or
ENGLISH THE. WORLD SPEECH.
The Germans Favor the General Study of
the Comliie Lauguage.
In an article on the importance of.
introducing into the schools the study
of a universal language (Weltsprache)
which recently appeared in the Preus-
sische Jahrbuet'her Dr. Schroer advo
cates making the study of English ob'
ligatory, not necessarily to the exclu
sion of the classical tongues, but at
least in conjunction with them.
"This," he says, "is not a question of
taste or rivalry between the 'moderns'
and the 'ancients;' it is simply a his
torical necessity." The learned pro
fessor properly condemns all attempts,
however scientrac, to- construct an
artificial world speech, like VolapQk
In his opinion a language which pos
sesses neither literature, historical de
velopment nor linguistic relations can
never serve as a medium of general
communication, for the reason that no
one will take the trouble to acquire it,
merely as a "tool of trade," until it be
comes universal; therefore it can never
become universal. Such attempts, how
ever, are not only aimless, because
they can never obtain the general con
sent of mankind, but they are needless,
for there already exists a universal
language i. e., a language which, by
its spread over the whole earth and
by the ease with which it may be
learned, has gained such a long step in
advance that neither natural nor arti
ficial means can deprive it of its as
sured position as the future medium of
international intercourse. And this
language is the English.
I'rof. Schroer is careful to warn his
readers not to get their aim too high
for to learn to speak and write fluently
and correctly a language which holds
so high a place in the scale of culture
and refinement as the English is diffi
cult, but for the average man this is
not necessary, for even the average
englishman has but a limited com
mand of his mother tongue, and the
daily intercourse of life requires but
small and easily acquired vocabulary
This is true of every language, but the
absence of puzzling genders and inflec
tions and synthical forms renders the
English easy in comparison with
otners. "ine &ngush language," con
cludes Prof. Schroer, "is the world
speech, and will, to all appearance, be
come more and more so every year.'
During the present century the Eng
lish-speaking population of the world
has increased five-fold, from .possibly
twenty-five million at its beginning to
at least one hundred and twenty-five
million. No other language has ever
been so rapidly developed, no fact in
civil history is more significant than
this. In every quarter of the
worm tingiisn is the conquering
tongue. The wide spread of the Brit
ish colonial system, the marvelous
growth of the United States and the
facility with which it absorbs every
foreign element bear witness to this
great fact, and our cousins in Germany
are of too practical a turn of mind to
be jealous or forgetful of it.
loog Iteigns. ,
According to the "Gotha Almanac
which has just been issued for 1894. the
queen of England has reigned longer
than any other ruler in the world, hav
ing ascended the throne in 1837. Next
to her in point of time are Emperor
Drancis Joseph of Austria and Fred
enck, the grand duke of Iladcn. The
monarchs who have reigned the short
est time are Prince Frieileneh of Wal-
deck and Duke Alfred of Saxe-Coburg-
Uotha. The oldest monarch, accord
ing to the "Almanac," is the pope
who is more than eighty-three years of
age. 1 he grand duke of Luxembourg
and the king of Denmark, respectively
seventy-six and seventy-five years of
age, stand next to him in this regard.
Grand Duke Karl Alexander, who
lives in Weimar, is fourth in point of
age, and Queen Victoria, with her sev
enty-four years, is the fifth oldest mon
arch. The youngest crowned heads
are the little queen of the Nether
lands, who is thirteen, and the king of
Spain, who is seven and a half years
old.
Canoes of Florida Indians.
The Indians of southern Florida who
navigate Lake Okeechobee, have nn in
genious device that steadies their long
narrow canoes in the shallow lint.
often fiercely troubled waters of the
lake. Lach canoe has a projecting
cornice, so to speak, above the bow,
so that the waves, instead of dashing
over the craft, lift it .hicrh nut rt
water at the prow. The canoe is ad
mirably adapted for its purpose, be
ing light, swift, and yet roomy.
THE WESTERN PEDAGOGUE.
We are in receipt of tbe May number
of our state school paper. It exceed
any of tbe former numbers it value.
Tbe paper this month oontaius many
new and valuable features. Tbe illus
trated series on tbe schools of tbe state
is introduced by a paper on the Friends
Polytechnic Institute at Salem, Oregon.
These papers cannot fail to be of ureat
value both to the schools bd 1 to tbe
public
Tbere are also several tine articles
by our best writers Bud tbe departments
'Current vent,""Satarday Thoughts,"
"Educational News" "The Oracle
Answers, Correspondents," etc., eaob
oontain much valuable reading for
teachers or parents. The magazine
has about GO pages of matter, well
printed and arranged. We proDounoe
the Western Pedagogue tbe best educa
tional monthly on tbe coast.
Everyone of onr readers should have
tbe paper if they are at all interested
in education. No teacher school direo
tor or student can get along well with
out it. We will receive eubsoript.oos
at tbis office. Price only SI. 00 a year.
When desired we will send tbe Western
Pedagogue and Oazette one year to one
address for 83. (XI. Call and examine
sample copies. Teachers, directors and
parents, now is tbe time tn subscribe, tf
GREAT VITALITY OF SNAILS.
One at the Stuithsoulan Lived Without
r ood and Water for SIk Years.
The Smithsonian institution has hit
upon something extraordinary ill
snails. The creatures may he slow,
I but they hold the record over all other
animals for prolonged vitality under
adverse conditions. Stories of toads
dug out of rocks in which they had
been imprisoned for ages are apocry
phal, but recent discover', says the
Providence Journal, has established
the credit of this humble mollusk as
No. 1 in tenacity of life. Only the
other day a specimen from an island off
the coast of Lower California, inclosed
in a drawer with a part of the mollus
can collection, was foundt o be alive. It
had had no food or water for more than
six years. When placed in a box with
moist earth it protruded its foot, began
to move about and seemed to be as
well as ever. Some time ago a few
snails of a different species, gathered
in Mexico, reached the Smithsonian in
stitution and were placed in a box.
They remained undisturbed for two
years and three months, at the end of
which time they were put into a glass
jar with some chickweed and a small
quantity of tepid water. Pretty soon
they woke up and appeared quite ac
tive. Pond snails, which are sometimes
found alive in logs of mahogany from
Honduras, possess equal endurance.
Specimens carried from Egypt to Paris
packed in sawdust have arrived unin
jured. Other kinds have been experi
mented with by shutting them up in
pill boxes and dry bags for years, but
have survived; The limit of their
vitality is yet to be ascertained. Land
snails in cold climates bury themselves
in the ground or under dead leaves in
winter; in tropical regions they become
torpid during the hot season. When
about to start in on a period of sleep
they seal up their shells with a close
fitting door, which sometimes is a
shield of thin, transparent, mucus, and
in other cases an opaque membrane as
thick as a visiting card. Behind this
the animal constructs other walls,
which serve like so many partitions to
protect it against prolonged cold or
dryness. It is believed that just as
the seeds of plants are distributed by
the winds, so likewise the eggs of
snails are scattered abroad' on the
breezes, thus disseminating their
species. They are very prolific ani
mals. Some of the great land snails
of the tropics, which live on trees and
weigh a pound apiece, lay ejrgs that
look strikingly like, those of piyvous,
being quite as lartfe. The eo-fj-snre de
posited among decaying vegetation,
the heat of decomposition hatching
them. ' .
YOUNG WIDOW y
INSIONtRS.
Capt.
Skinner Muds the Old
Soldier
Marketable for Matrimony.
United States Pension Agent Skin
ner has discovered that there are many
blushing into marriage contracts with
veterans who have passed the three
score mark. In fact, the captain rather
suspects that the young women who
choose ither do so because they have
performed brave service for their coun
try, and are now being rewarded by a
comfortable pension.
This state of things, in the Pitts
burgh district, at least, though not
throughout the country, indicates
that the payment of pensions will fur
nish valuable assistance to many hand
some widows for at least half a century
to come. The veterans will not survive,
of course, but many a young widow
will mourn till their departure and
draw their pensions until they die of
old age, according to the Pittsburgh
Leader.
Agent Skinner has just completed
his report for the quarter ending Jan
uary 4, and also a report for the month
of January. The report for the quar-
shows that 44,595 pensioners were paid,
the amount disbursed being 81,538,
864.28. These payments were all made
in January, and during that month KS6
pensioners were added to the rolls,
while 134 died and nine widows were
dropped because of remarriage.
This makes a net increase of 23, and
Mr. Skinner says that it is due to the
marriage of old soldiers to young wom
en. The husbands die and then the wife
gets a pension, sometimes when her
husband did not.
"There is no way of telling from tbe
records just how many cases of this
kind there are'" said Capt. Skinner,
"but the numbjer must be very consid
erable and will cause the pension roll
to remain large for many years to
come."
Continuing, the genial agent de
scribed a case of one of the young wid
ows from a neighboring town who he
had learned was married on January 4,
probably immediately after getting
her quarter's pension.
She could have married at any time
and drawn her pension down to the
day of her marriage. She evidently
wanted the whole amount, which
was $36, and delayed the happy day to
get it. She would have had some dif
ficulty getting her voucher certified
under a different name, and for a frac
tional amount of her quarter's pay, so
that it was probably on the whole
best to get married on pension day.
From the laughing manner in which
Capt. Skinner told this story, it is evi
dent the happy ex-widow would not
have been grudged her little dowry
from Uncle Sam had she announced
her intention to marry immediately on
receiving it.
The captain did not say so, but it is
probable the government will solve
the question of increase in the pension
rolls through young widows of old sol
diers by encouraging them to imitate
the example of the practical lady who
got married on pension day. t
a.. i ,i i ' h ..rain.
The creature which Solomon aiUIA
the sluggard to consult In regard to a
bit of information concerning th .rt
f "hustling" has a brain larger in pro
portion to the size of its body than any
other known being. Writers on that
urauch of entomology declare that ants
are not only endowed with a hi,h
quality of instinct, but that they dis
play reasoning ability and good judg
ment, as well as powers of reflection
and calculation.
PRACTICAL PHILANTHROPY.
Bow Mr. Chllils Treated a Worn-out hn
plove.
This incident has been related of Mr.
Childs, and I believe it has never been
printed, says a writer in the New York
Press. Stopping one of his head em
ployes one day Mr. Childs said; "You
are not looking well. I think you must
be working too hard.
"I am not feeling very well, Mr.
Childs, that is a fact," was the answer
"but I guess I will be all right in a
short time."
"How would you like to take a trip
to Europe?" said Mr. Childs, smiling
pleasantly.
"Well enough, sir," was the response;
"but I cannot afford it."
"Y'ou can afford it," said Mr. Childs,
taking him by the arm, "if I pay your
expenses and pay your salary to your
family while you are gone, can t you?'
lhe result was the man spent two
months in Luropc, and returned com
pletely restored to health.
"That was one of the best invest
ments I ever made," chuckled Mr.
Childs, when the matter was oaUed to
his attention. "Why, Mr. returned
so much improved in health that he
could do twice as much work as he
could before he left. You see I was
the real gainer by the transaction.
One of Mr. Childs' characteristics was
that he never seemed to take any
credit to himself for doing a kind act.
KING OF THE GULF.
The Resident aud Ills Home Among the
Motley Crowds of ftushlre.
Bushire is the capital of the English
protectorate in the Persian gulf. Here
our resident lives, who may be styled
king of the gulf, and before whom all
the petty potentates along its shores,
be they on the Arabian or Persian side,
bow down. He has his steam yacht
and his steam launch provided for him,
a British man-of-war is appointed to
be always in readiness to do his bid
ding, and the British residency, with
its flagstaff and extensive compounds,
is by far the most conspicuous build
ing in the town, says the Fortnightly
Keview.
Bushire is a truly horrible place,
built at the edge of a split of sand run
ning out into the gulf. Its population
is very mongrel Arabs, Persians, Hin
doos, are all hopelessly mixed up there
in. It has an English bank. What
with its English residency, English
bank, English telegraph, English
steamers' agents and English men-of-war,
Bushire is as English as could
well be wished. Lawn tennis maybe
seen upon the quays, ladies may play
and ladies may ride without incurring
more than nu ordinary amount of star
ing from the Moslems.
It is confidently asserted that, if the
Karoun route is opened out into the
heart of Persia, Bushire will cease to
he the seat of our resident, and the cap
ital of our Persian gulf protectorate
will be removed to Fao or some other
spot which has not yet got a name. If
that time ever comes, and Bushire
ceases to be the chief outlet for the
Persian caravan trade, the place will
not long survive, for it has no preten
sions whatsoever to call itself a har
bor. Big steamers have to anchor at
least two miles off land outside a sand
bar, and, if the sea is very rough, landing
is next to impossible. Bushire chances
to be the outlet for the roads across
the Kotals, and if it ceases to be that its
reason for existence will cease also.
FEEDING THE JACKALS.
A Ntrange Ceremony Perrormed'.by Him
alayan Priests.
A strange ceremony is carried on at
a certain temple lying in a belt of
swamp and jungle at the foot of the
Himalayas. The author of "Indian
Memories," who visited the place at
sundown, says that she found the
priests in perfect silence, engaged In
cooking large cakes before the temple.
Then they sat down, still silent and
stolid, as if ignorant of any unaccus
tomed presence.
As the last rays of sunlight died off
the temple, a man of extreme age,
clad in white robes and closely shaven,
issued from the shrine. It was the
chief priest. Moving slowly forward,
he took up a bronze hammer, and be
gan to strike the bell. Very sweet
and deep was the note; the whole
glade rang and vibrated with it.
At the sound, all the priests rose
and moved solemnly and in dead silence
round the quadrangle, bearing with
them their huge cakes, which they
broke up as they walked, and de
posited them on the stones and tree
trunks, and the steps of the temple. A
rustling sound made, me turn. A jack
al, big and plump, brushed past me,
with an upward curl of his lips, and a
look of surprise and resentment in his
red-bronze, gleaming eyes.
Simultaneously, from every lane and
passage in the darkening thicket, came
other jackals, singly and in pairs, and
filled the space before the temple.
Soon the feast was spread. The high
priest ceased to toll the bell, and at a
shout and wave of the hand, every
jackal trotted, without rivalry and
without snarling or confusion, to what
was evidently his accustomed place in
the feast, seized the cake in his jaws,
turned and disappeared through the
thicket.
In vain did I fee the priests to learn
the meaning of this strange bounty.
"It had always been so," was their
answer.
Force a toad's mouth open and hold
it in that position and he will suffo
cate. This is because he has no ribs
and no way of dilating his chest, there
fore must literally swallow air as
though it were food. Forcibly keep
ing the creature's mouth open causes
the air to pass into the stomach in
stead of the lung. Another oddity is
its tongue, which is hung in the mouth,
just the reverse of the human tongue,
being attached at the front of the jaw,
the loose end hanging back and down
the throat.
Green Matbews, east side of Main
street, has neat barber shop and does
work at popular prices, 26 cent sbave
or bair oat. These have been bis charg
es tor montbs. Don't forget i-irj,
Highest of all in Leavening Power. Latest U. S. Gov't Report
Absolutely pure
A DELIGHTFUL MEETING.
The Loving Kluilneiw often Notleeable
ftotweeu Women.
They met in the calm of a lovely day.
Soft breezes whispered sweet messages
to the budding trees and even the sales
man at the bargain counter wore a
more charitable look.
They met and greeted.
"Oh, dear," exclaimed the lady in
grenadine with gilt trimmings, ''it's
an age since I saw you."
"Yes, indeed," ecstatically rejoined
the lady in white organdie with pale
blue flowers wrought in the fabric. "It
was getting almost insupportable."
A pause of one-sixteenth of a second
ensued.
"Well, I declare, if "
The lady in grenadine was gazing fix
edly at the lady in organdie.
"Gray hair is positively becoming
to you. Isn't it perfectly delightful?
I am so glad; gray hair is such a trial
to many. "
"Yes, to be sure." .
There was another pause.
"I'm so glad "
The lady in organdie was earnestly
contemplating the lady in grenadine.
"lou are still able to make vour
dresses fit in spite of your getting so
fleshy, lsn t it fortunate? Fat is such
a thorn to most people."
"Yes."
There was a little more silence.
"Well, good-by," chirped the lady
in grenadine.
"By," cooed the lady in organdie.
"I hope it won't be so long till we
meet again. "
"Oh, my, yes. I couldn't endure it.
Really."
That was all. Detroit Tribune.
RELIGIOUS INTELLIGENCE.
It is said that there have been two
hundred Christian martyrs in Uganda
since the entrance of Protestant mis
sions into that country.
At a recent convention of the synod
of China the question of PreBbyterian
union was thoroughly discussed, and
the outlook is said to be hopeful.
The synodical missionaries of the
Presbyterian church complain of the
lack of well-educated, tedf-denying
and devoted men to preach the Gospel
in the southwestern territories aud
states.
Miss Melton, a Presbyterian mis
sionary at Mosul, was recently attacked
by fanatic Moslems and narrowly es
caped death. The Turkish govern
ment has promised to punish the as
sailants.
Thk Free Church of Scotland claims
a total of nine hundred and seventy
five mission workers, Scotch and na
tive, and last year the home contribu
tions amounted to three hundred and
fifty thousand dollars.
The I'erreec Mar.
In Me.Clure'B Magazine Prof. Henry
Drummoml discusses the ouestion of
where man got his ears. Nature, he
holds, seldom makes anything new;
her method of erratum in t,,,,,
something old. So when land animals
were determined nn timl n t ,.,.
out to manufacture eiii-K f,. ti,... i,
made them out of old breathing appa
ratus. She saw, I'rof. Dnimmond con
tends, that if water could puss through
a hole in the neck, such as fishes have,
sound could pass likewise, thereupon
she brought certain species adapted to
her purpose to shore, and set to work
upon the five gill-slits and elaborated
the whole in a hearing organ. This
was not a quick process, hut the slow
labor of ages, but finally was produced
the perfect ear, und man was not cre
ated until the work was done.
Two Interpretations.
A young farmer who had been con
verted at one of the revivals went be
fore the next conference and asked for
a license to be a preacher. "I know I
am born to preach the word," said the
applicant, "for I have had three
visions, all the name, and it has made a
lasting impression on me." "What was
your vision?" asked a bishop. "Wal, 1
saw a big, round, blue ring in the sky,
and inside in great gold letters, were
'P.O.' It meant 'Preach Christ,' and I
want to join the conference." The
argument was about to carry when an
old pastor stood up in the back part of
the hall aud said: "Young man, we
don't doubt your intentions, nor o we
doubt you saw the vision with the
golden 'P. C.,' but 1 am of the opinion
that 'P. C meant 'Plow Corn.'" The
convert is Btill a farmer. Cincinnati
Times Star.
How Stones Are valuanie.
A diamond is not valuable simply be
cause it is a diamond, but for its' cut
ting and polishing. A diamond in the
rough is much less valuable than after
it is cut and polished. It is because a
diamond is capable of a high polish
and can be made to reflect light that it
takes its place among the most valua
ble of precious stones. lint a perl is
valuable from the time it is first found,
and so are many other precious gems. 1
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MISSING LINKS.
All animals whose habitat is the
arctic regions turn white in winter.
Over a hundred new telegraph offices
were opened in India during the first
three months of this year.
A fortune was missed by nenry Mun
son, who died recently in New Haven,
Conn. He invented the device by
which gun-barrels are bored, but
neglected to patent it.
Tramps rarely visit Edtnore, Mich.,
more than once. When they are caught
in that town, the marshal puts them in
the jail reception-room, builds a roar
ing fire for their comfort, and then
sprinkles pepper on the stove.
Some one of a curiously mathematical
turn has calculated that a pound of
spider's webbing unwound would be
long enough to reach round the world,
with enough left over to reach from
New Y'ork to San Francisco.
BOOKS AND WRITERS.
Mark Twain looks old. His fuzzy
hair is almost white and he stoops
more than ever. But he can crack a
joke with his usual vim.
When Daniel Defoe wrote "Robin
son Crusoe" he was fifty-eight years
old, had failed of success repeatedly,
and apparently had made but little of
his life.
Francis Parkman, the dead histori
an, was a nephew of Dr. George Park
man, whose murder by Prof. Webster
in 184(1 is still perhaps the most cele
brated of American crimes.
"From Headquarters" is Lieut.
James A. Frye's latest addition to the
literary world. Lieut. Frye is a Bos
ton man and hears to the national
guard about the same relation Capt.
King does to the army.
FOR THE LABORERS.
TnK United States cotton orop in
1803 was 9,038,707 bales.
Germamy prohibits the employment
of union men on government works.
IN manufacturing occupations the
average life of soapboilers is the high
est, and that of griudstpnermakers the
lowest.
Breeders of sheep in the south of
England have had several years of de
clining values, terminating last year
in disastrous losses, consequent upon
the absetice of feed, owing to the bleak
winter and unfavorable spring.
Karly Treatment of Smallpox.
It was several years ago that Galla
vardin drew the attention of French
practitioners to the advantages of
treating smallpox according to the
plan originally suggested and carried
out by John of Uoddesden and Waters.
The treatment in question consisted
simply in keeping the patients abso
lutely away from all solar light, and
this solar darkness had to be from first
to last complete and uninterrupted,
otherwise no beneficial results could
be looked for. The same authority has
recently published the results of his
experience 'with this method covering
a period of some sixteen years, show
ing that if this plan be carried out the
great advantage ensues of there being
no period of suppuration, and, in con
sequence, the subsequent scarring is
infinitesimal.
Amusing Germaa Hulls.
A German newspaper man, evidently
jealous of the Irishman's reputation
as a maker of bulls, took the trouble
some years ago to look up the German
record in this line. Among others he
found in the published worksof cer
tain Teutonic writers the following
curious examples: "Among the immi
grants was an old blind woman, who
came to America once more before she
died to see her only son." "After the
door was closed a soft female foot
slipped into the room, and with her
own hand distinguished the taper."
"lioth doctors were unable to restore
the deceased once more to life and
health." "The Ladies' Benefit asso
ciation has distributed twenty pairs of
shoes among the poor, which will dry
up many a tear." "I was at the table
enjoying a cup of cott'ee when a gentle
voice tapped me on the shoulder. I
looked around and saw my old friend
once more."
All Old Colonial Horror.
At Freehold, N. J., a negro was once
executed in a manner that would have
made the torturers of the middle ages
blush with envy. An old document in
the clerk's oilice at that place tells the
tale: " Therefore the court
doth judge that thou, the said Casar,
shall return to the place from whence
thou earnest, aud from thence to the
place of execution, where thy right
hand shall be cut off and burned be
fore thy eyes. Then thou shalt be
hanged by the neck till thou art dead,
dead, dead; then thy body shall be cut
down and burned to ashes in a tire
kindled for that purpose, and may the
Lord have uierey on thy souL"
Honors, World's Fair.
E'
In
Bakin
Powder