$1.00 Package
Free To All
6
The Funny Corner
A good Samaritan, passing an spart-
ment house in the small hours of the
morning, noticed a man leaning limply
against the doorway.
•'What’s the matter?" he asked.
Drunk ?”
“ Yep.”
"D o you live in this house?”
“ Yep
"D o you want me to help you up
stairs?”
“ Yep.”
With much difficulty he half dragged,
half carried the drooping figure up the
stairway to th.e second Door.
"What floor do you live on?” he asked.
“ Is this it?”
"Y ep.”
Rather than face an irate wiie who
Every Mao or Woman Can Have a Bealitiful Head of Hair By Using The might, perhaps, take him for a com
Wonderful Foso Treatment.
panion more at fault than her spouse, he
opened the first door he came to and
pushed the limp figure in.
Foso Quickly Removes Dandruff,
The good Samaritan groped his way
Free
$1.00
P
ackage
Coupon
Stops Palling Hair and Itching Scalp,
downstairs again.
As he was passing
Changes Gray or Faded Hair to its
F ill In your name ait<l a<l<lresa on the blank lines
through the vestibule he was able to
below, out out the coupon ami mall to .J. 4»’ . Stokes,
Natural Color. Grows New Hair.
Mgr., 84M F o m Bldg.. Cincinnati. Ohio. Kni-ltweten
make
out
the
dim
outlines
of another
cents in stamps or silver as an evidence o f «<»«>«1 faith
M en w h ose h air o r beards a re s tr a n g lin g o r a ll
man. apparently in worse condition than
amt to help cover uackinp. postntte, etc., ami a fu ll
g o n e w o m en w h ose tresses h ave been th in n ed
$1.00 packaae w ill Vie sent you at once by mail pre
the first one.
b y fe v e r o r h air fa llin g out re q u irin g th e use o f
paid free or charge.
“What's the matter?” he asked. “ Are
sw itch es; little ch ild re n , boys and g ir ls w hose
h a ir is coarse and u n ru ly: a ll find in th is g rea t
you drunk, too?”
re m e d y just the r e lie f that th e y want.
Yep,” was the feeble reply.
"Do-you live in this house, too?”
I don’t ask you to take my word for
"Yep."
It. Fill out free coupon below and mall
“ Shall I help you upstairs?”
today for a free $1.00 package that will
“ Yep.”
prove all I claim.
The good Samaritan pushed, pulled and
carried him to the second floor, where
this man also said he lived. He opened
I I r I I U / / V M T F D in ®re,y locality in
I f 2 T l |W
nited States, to advertise
the same door and pushed him in.
->ur good«, tacK up «how cards in all con
As he again reached the front door
Hpicuoufi places, and distribute «m all advertising matter,
You o a n X iv e a F I N E l- IT T L E P O N Y A N D P O N Y
he discerned the shadow of a third man,
C A R T with a complete outfit, including Harness, Blan Commission or salary $83 per month and expenses $4 per
ket. wuip, robes,etc., without p ayin g a cent. Send your day. Steady work the year round; entirely new plan; no evidently worse off than either of the
other two. Hie was about to approach
name and address and I w iilte ll you why I want you to experience required Write for particulars.
have ir. Mrs E C Smith n Exchange St., Portland, Me
WM. R. WARNER MED. CO. London, Ont. Canada.
him when the object of his solicitude
lurched out into the street and threw
himself into the arms of a passing po
liceman.
'For Heaven sake, officer,” he gasped,
“ protect me from that man. He's done
nothin’ all night long but carry me up
stairs ’n throw me down th’ elevator
shaf’.”
Boys and Girls
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IF Y O U A C T U P O N T H I S O F F E R P R O M P T L Y .
C A N BE Y O U R S 1
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A c t p ro m p tly upon this o ffe r and
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Y ou can ea sily w in B O T H o f th ese va lu a b le prizes. O n e la d y w rite s : “ I am very much
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n i c e r th a n I th o u g h t it w o u ld be. I th a n k you v e ry m uch. I am goin g to e a rn a n o th er s e t."
?
B Y M Y PLA N A N Y ONE C A N SECURE BO TH THESE
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HO IV TO G E T T H E S E P R IZ E S .
Just fill in c a re fu lly the coupon b e lo w an d send it to m e. an d I w ill ta k e pleasure in w ritin g
you just w h a t to do. I h ave such a s p l e n d i d ! l i b e r a l prop osition to m ak e t«> you th at I k n ow
you w ill be d e lig h t to h ave a ch a n ce to g e t an e le g a n t, beau tifu lly d e c o lla t e d 4 2 P I E C E
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W I T H C O I N S I L V E R w h en you see h ow easily it can be done.
BF. A R I N M I N D these tw o Prizes are free. D o n ’ t fo rg e t th a t w e g iv e T w o G r a n d P riz e
P re m iu m s instead o f <>ne. an d th at as soon is w e g e t th e . nnpon w e send you tw o b e a u tifu l
ric h ly colo red P I C T U R E S an d a set o f A R T IS T IC C OLORED P O S T C A R D S a b solu tely
fr e e . D o n ’ t d e la y . W rite a t o n ce. Address
M. A. JOHNSON, Mtfr., WaiTCD, Pa.
M. \ JnitNs A . M.-r , W irrun. I’ u.
F R F I CO UPO N.
------------------
D e a r Sir:— I w o u ld like to secure * 4 2 P I E C E G O L D M O N O G R A M D I N N E R S E T and
H A N D S O M E S IL V E R PLATED
P I E C E T E A S E T . P le a s e sen d m e fu ll particulars.
A
Nam e
A d d re s s .................. ............................................ ......... ............. ......................................
D im . 1Q1
Editor's Note.—This firm is relia b le am i w ill d o as th ey a d vertise.
any difference which of these cars I take
to Greenwood Cemetery?”
"N ot to me. madam.” he answered,
slipping through an opening in the
crowd.
W h e n P a t L au gh ed Last
A short time ago two Englishmen on
a visit to Ireland hired a boat for the
purpose of having a sail.
One of the Britons, thinking he would
have a good joke at Pat’s expense, asked
him if he klftew anything about astrology.
“ Be jabers, no,” said Pat.
“Then that’s the best part of your life
just lost,” answered the Englishman.
The second Englishman then asked
Pat if he knew anything about theology.
"B e jabers, no,” answered Pat.
"W ell,” the second said, " I must say
that’s the very best part of your life
lost.”
A few minutes later a sudden squall
arose and the boat capsized. Pat began
to swim. The Britons, however, could
not swim, and both called loudly to Pat
to help them.
"D o you know anything about swim
ming?” asked Pat.
"N o ,” answered both Englishmen.
"W ell, be jabers,” replied Pat, "then
both of your lives is lost!”
S tro n g W a te r
Mr. Edison was once asked to send
a phonographic cylinder to a fair. He
sent this reply:
"Y o u ask me to send you a phono
graphic cylinder and to say a few words
to the audience. I do not think the
audienqe would take any interest in dry
scientific subjects, but perhaps they
might be interested in a little story that
a man sent me on a phonographic cylin
der the other day from San Frandisco.
In the year 1873 a man from M assa
chusetts came to California with a
chronic liver complaint. He searched all
over the coast for a mineral spring to
cure the disease, and finally he found,
"down in the San Joaquin Valley, a
spring the waters of which almost in
_
H e R e m e m b e re d
stantly cured him. He therefore started
A restaurant-keeper hung out this a sanitarium, and people all over the
sign:
world came and were quickly cured.
“ Coffee:
Last year this man died, and so powerful
“ Such as Mother Used to Make.”
had been the action of the water that,
A customer asked, pointing to the before they could bury him, they had to
sign :
take his liver out and kill it with a club.
"Is your coffee really such as mother
used to make?”
“ It is,” replied the proprietor.
M ark T w a in on F.tlquette
“ Then.” said the man with a remi-
niscent look, "give me a cup of tea.”
Mark Twain, at a dinner in New York,
talked on etiquette:
" I once read a book of etiquette.” he
Sqooks. visiting at a country house, said, “and I still remember many of the
was put in the haunted chamber for the rules.
The most important rules were
night. He did not feel the slightest un these:
easiness, but nevertheless, just as a mat
“ How to accept a proffered cigar—Slip
ter of precaution, he took to bed with the right hand into the box, draw forth
him a revolver of the latest American two, place one absently in the upper
pattern.
pocket of the vest, insert the other be
He slept peacefully enough until the tween the lips, look inquiringly around
clock struck two. when he awoke with for a light.
an unpleasant feeling of oppression. He
"How to leave a room properly—Open
raised his head and peered about him. the door, place one foot over the sill,
The room was illumined by the full moon follow it up closely with the other foot,
and in that weird, bluish light he thought and then, turning slightly, shut the door.
he discerned a white hand clasping the
"H ow to accept a dinner invitation—
rail at the foot of the bed.
Eat a light breakfast and no lunch.
“ Who’s there?” he asked tremulously
"H ow to accept an invitation to drink—
There was no reply. The white hand Look careless. Say, ‘ Don’t care if I do,’
did not move.
and fix the gaxe on the other side of the
"W ho’s there?” he repeated. “ Answer room while the liquor is being poured
me or I ’ll shoot.”
into the glass. This will assure you a full
Again there was no reply.
portion.”
Snooks cautiously raised himself, took
careful aim and fired.
Blissful Ig s o ra n c e
From that night on he’s limped. Shot
off two of his own toes.
A kind old gentleman, seeing a small
boy who was carrying a load of news
papers, said, "D on’t all those papers
The usual large crowd was gathered at make you tired, my boy?”
the New York end of the Brooklyn
“ Naw, I don’t read ’em,” replied the
Bridge waiting for trolley cars.
An lad.
elderly lady, red in the face, flustered, and
fussy, dug her elbows into convenient
H e l p W a n t « « ! M a le
ribs, irrespective of owners.
A fat man on her left was the re
Weary Willie (reading ad.)— Man
cipient of a particularly vicious jab. She wanted to chop wood, bring up coa.\
yelled at him. Say!”
tend furnace, take care of garden, mind
He winced slightly and moved to one thickens, and children-----
side. She, too side-stepped and thumped
Frayed Fagin (groaning)—Gee! deni
him viciously «11 the back.
natrimonial advertisements made m:
“ Say!” she persisted, "does it make tired.—Judge.