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About Polk County itemizer. (Dallas, Or.) 1879-1927 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 27, 1908)
— ....... ■ ßy Advice of a Lawyer A IV f a A s d t v i a d n i o t a u g s e S m o f o k i n g . The clrcun uod menagerie of Jones & (Original.) Jones was coming that way. The j I was traveling in Prance in a rail- promptl obtained in a li oonntr le a ,o r so etc. THOM U R h S , ( 'u v e a li an d <"t>yr'K h t* reirs- greater part of its menagerie consisted way train shut up lu a « ompartmeut I r e p o r t on na!.-inability. A L L O U S IN E SS 1 of the elephant AfxJul, ftntl Abdul bail with but one person besides myself, a I S T R IC T L Y C O NFID E N TIAL. FftttO t K M t l W I I lasl/Mly. Surpassing refertneea. I become old and irritable and no longer woman. 1 am an Inveterate smoker, I W id eaw a ke inventor* b toeid h iv r e o o r hand-1 I hook on H ow to obt&inand Sell patents. W h at ln- I saw things with the friskiness of other and It occurred to me that perhaps the I \ •-talons w ill pay. H o w to g et a part ner,and oüa-r I I . Uuablt- in'ui n. s«-r I free to any address. I days He was lielng most carefully lady would not object to my lighting w atched tv ban the show arrived at a cigar. I asked her permission, she assented graciously, and. taking one Clementsville. 15 0 1 Seventh S t ., W ashington, I). C .J The season had not been a profitable from my' cigar case. 1 lighted It. It was a long cigar, pointed ut botu ends, one for Jones & Jones. They had had to offer f>0 cents on the dollar to their ami remarkably well made. I mention WHY IT SUCCEEDS. creditors ut the last three stands, and this because if it had been loosed when the exhibition at Clementsville wrapped probably there would lie noth was over they could not pay certain ing of especial interest in this story. As I began to puff composedly 1 drew Because it’s for One Thing Only. farmers for oats, hay and straw. One from my pocket a morning paper and — People Appreciate This. of the farmers, and the largest cred commenced to read. itor, refused to take a note of hand. "I envy you your solace. n*pnsieur.” Ills claim was for $40. and he rushed the lady remarked. “ Traveling is dull, Doing one thing well brings success. to see a lawyer about it. Mr. Taylor and we women have no such way of I loan’s Kidnev Fills do one thing only. They cure sick kidneys. They cure passing the time.” was the lawyer. The two or three oth 1 lowered my paper and for the first backache, every kidney ill. ers in town happened to he out of their James N. Ay re, living at Fifth S t . , offices. The great opportunity had time took a look at her. She was pass McMinnville, Ore., says: “ Doan’s come at last The foil* i*n years of ably good looking, comparatively young j Kidney Pills proved of great value to and very well dressed. Since she had Mrs. Ayre. She doctored a great deal waiting was to In* repai been so good as to permit me to smoke and used many remedies but was un •‘Your claim Is good, and all we tin ■ I considered it only fair that I should able to obtain relief from the pain to do is to attach something.” was ti. take her hint and relieve her ennui by through her back accompanied by a When she lawyer’s announcement. ' As the ele chatting with her. 1 was aware that weakness of the kidneys. phant is the biggest and most valine- r the day of making acquaintances in ar. se in the morning she felt tired and worn out and it was all she could do to thing they have, we will attach him. this way even iu America hud passed, get around. She also suffered from diz The circus must have him. It won't and even there it hud never been usual zy spells and her eyesight was affected. move on without him Your case wlli for the woman to take the initiative, At last my attention was called to be settled within an hour alter we at but my companion looked bored, and 1 Doan’s Kidney Fills. I procured a box attributed her desire simply to la? tem for her and she began using them. In tach him.” a short time she was cured and has porarily amused. The elephant was attached. There I tested her on different topics and imt had a sign of the trouble since.” HOME PROOF—There is plenty of was a lank and disconsolate looking soon found that she was most interest cassowary with the show*, but he wu» ed in pleasures—exciting pleasures, local testimony like the above. Call at Belt & Cherrington’s drug store and ask passed by. There was a lonely and de such ns the theater and the race course to see copies of statements of Dallas Jected dromedary, with its lonely and She preferred, however, to talk of nov people who have used Doan’s Kidney dejected bumps, but that attachment els and evinced an especial Interest in Bills. For sale by all dealers. Brice was not for him. Abdul was the vic those of Emile Zola. Indeed, she con 50 cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, versed about the characters in those New York, sole agents for the United tim and was duly attached. unconventional romances with a free States. Remember the name—Doan’s The constable saw the farmer cred dom that arrested my attention. And —and take no other. itor, and arrangements were made to it seemed to me that the more uncon take Abdul out to the farm. lie fig ventional the characters the better she ured that he was going to get a sofi liked them. Finally, taking the latest thing, and, much to the astonishment of Zola’s stories published from her of the circus folk, he went along in a traveling bag, she opened It at a cer contented manner aiul finally brought tain page and asked me to sit beside up in the farmer’s barn. Then the real her and read a* passage, giving as an history of the case began. Jones A excuse for not doing so herself that Trains from and to Yaquina No. i — she was a very poor reader. Jones left town with smiles on their “ Pardon me,” I said. “ I am smoking. faces. That meuut that the suit would The fumes would be unpleasant to Arrives at <'orviillla .................. . . 11:1ft a. in. Arrives at A lb a n y ....... ........... ... 12:1ft p .m . have to be adjourned when culled. you.” No. a - That meant that It would be ultimately Leaves A lbany ......................... “ Not at all. I love them." Leave* C o rv a llis....................... ....... 1:45 p. m decided In the fanner's favor and that “ Rut,” I protested, “ you see that tin* Arrives at Y a q u in a ................... ...... ü:li» p. m he would find himself with an elephant ash on my cigar is very long. If I on his hands. lie found that out even should move it would fall. Now. I am Train s to a n d fr o m D e t r o it : fastidious about my smoking. I love a No. 3 - within the first hour. t-s Albany ...... .................. ___ 7:30 a. ni Abdul wanted from three to five Dar freshly lighted cigar, and so long nv Lcn\ Arrive# at IbTroit ...................... ...... 1 2 ;A 0 p m. the ash remains In its place#tlie cigar l rels of water to wet his throat. It No. 4 - seems as it was at the first touch of took an hour to bring it from the the match. Indeed, it tastes the same. Leaves D e tro it............................ ...... 1 00 p. m. house. Then he wanted u quarter of But once knock off the ash and the Arrives at Albany ................. .. . . 6:áóp.m . T r a in s fo r C o r v a l l i s : a ton of the best hay to eat and the cigar Is but a stump, the smoko gets No. 8— same amount to toy with ah he stood in my eyes and— well, it is not the Leaves Albany ...... 7:66 p. m. Arrives at C tirvallis.................... ... 8;.!.* a. in. up to meditate and feel sorry for those same by any means.” No. 10 - elephants that were still knocking To tell the truth, this, was but an ex !.< .IV. • M bany............... ........... . .. 2:62 p. m. around the country. Night had not cnsc. I had come to suspect the lady Arrives at C orvallis.................. ... . 3:o5 p. m. yet come when he took a fancy to a to be an adventuress and did not look No. 6— 7:35 p. in* certain beam In the burn and wrapped with eomplaceucy upon l>elng shut up Lea vet A lb a n y........................... his trunk around It and pulled it from alone with her. She seemed to discern Arrives at Corvallis ................... ...... 8:15 p. in. No. 12— its place and used It for a baseball from my refusal to sit by her that I Leaves A lb a n y ..................... . ... . 12:50 p.m but. Then he tore out the manger and had my suspicions and. instead of at Arrives al C o rvallis.................. ... 1:33 p. iu used the slivers for toothpicks and tempting to allay them, began to work T r a in s fo r A l b a n y : went to bed happy. The farmer con upon my fears. suited the luwyer again, and the law “ A man who scorns a lady’s ad Leaves C o r v a llis ........... ........ a. m. yer was primed with information. Ms vances should be made to pay for his Arrives at A lb a n y ..................... ... 7 :10 a. in. had been making elephants a study rudeness,” she said sharply. ...... 12:46 p. m. for the last four hours. I considered this a threat, and to dis lea ves C orvallis .................. ........... ... 1:3U i», m. 1 “ Yes, all the cost of Abdurs keep and play an unconcern I did not feel I re Arrives at A lbanv No. 7— all the damage he did while in the sumed my paper. Indeed, there was i Conrailis .................. ...... fi-00p. m. hands of the law would be assessed on nothing else for me to do. I felt sure Arrives at A lb a n y ..................... . «* ;40 p. in. Jones & Jones when the case was de that the woman would spring a trap No. 11— 11:30a.m. cided against them, us it surely must on me for the purpose of extorting Leaves C o rv a llis.................... ......... 12:15 a. m. be. Just go right back home and givt blackmail, and I saw before me a seri Arrive.- at Albany All o f the a box •• trains eonneet with Southern that elephant whatever he wanted and ous complication, a possible arrest and Pat iHe trains both at Albauv at ■ 1 Corvallis as well as i rains lor Detroit, «ix i tur • Greet servire It would I h * all right.” imprisonment. But the more inward to NeXXport anti HreO-nbusb lit t Springs. Abdul had been chained on the open trepidation I felt the more outward Tor lu rlb er in >rmation aioox to GEO. K. NEVI NS. tien. Pas. Agent, floor of tin* barn. On the second day coolness I showed. 1 concentrated my A lbany Oregon. of his stay he broke his chains and attention upon maintaining the ash on H. H. LING , Agent, C orvallis. pulled a ton of hay from the mow and the end of my cigar. Every time I re walked over It until it was hardly fit moved the cigar from between my lips to bed the hogs with. and put It hack I did so with the ut He wanted a small drink, and when most care. Presently the woman took the farmer cut him off with five bar out her watch and looked at it. rels of water ho trumpeted until he “ W e will reach the station at N. in scared farmers for two miles around five minutes.” she said. “ I need 500 and then broke up the fanning mill, francs. Choose between giving them the corn sheller and some stray boards to me or an arrest on a charge of as and beams. The lawyer was notified, sanlt when the train stops.” and he came riding out to the farm on ITnd she lieen willing to settle for a a bike to say: napoleon I would not have yielded. 1 “ Very irregular and improper on the consider It demeaning in any man to part of Abdul, but of course Jones & pay blackmail. It may or may not Jones will settle. They must settle. I k * common souse, but I do not believe They must have him with their show.” in making a beginning In that direc On the third day Abdul demanded tion. I gave the woman no reply, but seven barrels of water, half a ton of continued to appear interested In keep hay and most of the pumpkins grow ing the ash on the end of my cigar. ing on the farm and then broke down Finally the houses by the way grew the doors and piled the fragments In a thicker, and the train slowed down neat heap and Ret out on a voy “ I ’ll settle for 1.000 francs.” said the I age of discovery. He discovered the woman. “ In one minute more my i smokehouse and chicken coop and dai price will l>e 1,500.” At the same time j ry house and upset them. He discover she lK»gnn to pull her apparel awry to ed tin* family well and yanked the indicate that she had been through a pump out by the roots ami threw it struggle. over the house. He discovered the I smoked on. 60 YEARS* house itself and smashed all the win In another minute the train pulled up down and doors. Then he passed into at the station. The woman put her the orchard and pulled up twenty one head out of the window and shrieked ! big apple trees to show that he was for the guard. lie came, followed by | no bluffer He had leveled forty rods officials and curious people, and drew j of fence and torn down a wagon shed open the door. ami tossed a reaper and uiower sky “ This brute has assaulted me.” said high when he derided to seek the the woman “ Arrest him.” T rade M arks D esigns •hade of the cool forest. On Ids way The guard and his followers all lev C opyrights A c . there he entered a big mudhole to take eled their eyes at me. Taking what A n y o n e t e n d in g a s k e tc h an d d e a e rto tto n m ay q u ic k ly a s c e rta in o u r o p in io n f r e e w h e th e r an a bath and met his fate by drowning. little remained of my cigar from raj t t m n tio n It p ro b a b ly p atentab le^ C om m u n ic a t* tio n* s n tr t r ic ic t tly n fld l. HANDBOOK o n P a te n t! .Ion* ly r c o on fid e n tla t lal. The lawyer came out and said that mouth. I extended it slowly toward lent fr e e . O ld est a g e n c y f o r s e c u rin g p a te n t*. Abdul's proceedings could l>e legally the crowd on the platform. P a te n ts ta k e n th ro u g h M utin A C o. r e c e iv e special notice, w ith o u t c h a rg e, lu th e criticised, but that then» was no ques “ Could a man." I said, “ iuterfere tion as to how the suit would go with any one and keep an ash like that i There wasn't. Jones A Jones came on the en l of a cigar?” A h a n d to m e lT illu s tr a te d w e e k ly . l a r g e s t c lf- c i i I u M m ii o f a n y te ie n t u le jo u rn a l. T e r m * . $3 a back ami won it and 'made the county As 1 spoke the woman, upon whom y o .ir ; fo u r m. nth#, $ L S o ld b y a ll n e w s d e a le r*. pay them $7.000 for the loss of their flashed the reverse of the situation she llephajit while In the hands of a duly had planned, brushed against tno. »r a n c h O ftiee, 325 F BE, W n u h tn gton , D . CL elected constable. And then Jones A slightly shaking me. The ash fell ou Jones, the clown, the bareback riders, the ear floor. the #lght rope walker and other circus There was a shout of decisive laugh people smiled and winked at each oth ter at the woman, whose position was er. and T.awver Taylor went back to made the more absurd by the condition his office and realise«! that he had had of her clothing his ch»ime and was not equal to the Her experiment cost her a term In Occasion M Oft 41* prison NELSON MAXTCELK In Washington. •*t mad, a glaring error today.” sigh j ed the cabinet lady. Crushed. “ H ow ’s that?” inquired the depart j “ Brudder Jones. If you didn’t smoke, men:al lady .you might own a brick house, like “ I glared at a woman 1 should hn vei what I does." I g n o r e d completely ” — Louisville Con "Look here. man. don’t you come rler J o u r n a l pesterin' v l f me like dat. You didn’t git dat brick house by not smokin'. An Inspiration. You got It by borrowin’ mah news Mr*. Knicker Henry, why did yon paper to rend an’ mah clothes to w ear leave your shoes on the stnlrs last an’ mah vlttles to eat. You may be a night? Rolcker (dazed, but Inspired*— fly financier, but dat don’ t gib you no English custom, m dear Left sat to , license to set up fer s human copy ha blacked. Puck j book! "-Kansas City Independent 0. SWIFT & CO. Corvallis & Eastern Railroad Scientific Am e rican. MUNN & Co.38,B~«*— * New York T H E LIST I S T ILL GROWS HELP WANTED The Standard Fiuhion C«>mp»ny want» » few ' ’“ lie* m ting com munity to collect renewal» «m l new »»bacriptlon.. for "T h e Dotignei.- the biggest value at 5«> cent, a ye*r »»'< > »» »om en's m »K»*lue.. Valuable silverware premiums c*n I* select.-,I, m- large c , h commis sions will I * paid to dub-reiser. Working outfits and many »ids wil. be given to those ladies who can actively take cure of "T h e be-uguer « intere t - The terri urv will 1« restricted, so write at once us.ng this DEMOCRATS LEAD IN THE REG ISTRATION THIS WEEK. ¡• + + + T + + + + + + + + {•+++++++•{•+++ i- E L E C T IO N S O F 1 !A )8 . ST A N D A R D FASH IO N C O M PAN Y Registration opens January 6. Closes for primaries. April 7. Primary elections, April 17. Registration reopens, April 21. Closes for election, May 15. General election, June 1. Registration reopens, September20 J (doses for election. October 20. j. Presidential election, November 3. 4- -5-4 - f + * F ++ 4-4-4-4-4- t 12-lti Vandam Street. New \ork City. J 4* j X X j* Y 4. Gentlemen: Please seud me outfit for use in getting Oesigner sub scriptions. Name Box, .Street or R. K. No Douglas “ ’* Bob Allen .................... rep State P. O. Peter Arouett ..............rep Glen Butler ............... dent Chas Gannon ......... rep “ Abraham Hudson........ rep “ L E Hartman.............dem “ Z T Hartman ....... /..dein “ Peter McCoy............... rep “ W L Pettijohn............ dem “ J S Pettijohn..............dem “ Willis Rowell............... rep 4 4 Lee R o w e ll.................. rep 44 Andrew Smith............. rep “ Lovd Wallace............... rep 44 L M Wallace.................rep 44 J as Wooden................ dent Salt Lake T .I Short.................none 44 P P Buhler..................rep 44 J J B uhler................ rep 44 J C H insh aw ............ deni N O N E O f T H E M A R E IN I T W I T H 44 C L Gilson................. dem 44 Jas Gee....................... dent T h e C o u r t St. Eola A O Brown ................. rep Crocers 44 W Beaver ...................rep 44 C N Beaver.................. rep 44 J R Chapm an............. rep 44 J W Denson............... dem 44 L D Fields.................. dent 44 Dan Finley ............. dem 44 T .1 Gardner...............dent 44 G W G Gibson............ dent 44 L C G osser.................dem 44 Hugh Gosser ........... dent 44 Hobt Glenn.................dem 44 Dudley Gibson............dent 44 Thus Gilliam.................rep 44 C E Hanna................ «lern 44 Jas Irnlah ................... rep 44 M F Lentz.................... rep Jas E Loose ............... rep 44 F H Runcarn............... rep 44 Christ Ramseyer.......... rep * * * * * * * * * * * * * * î * * * * * * * * * * * 44 N H Stonebrink ......... rep 44 W H Squiers.............. rep 44 Jas Simon ton ... .dem 44 G F Seeley.................. dem * 44 C H Templeman.......... rep 44 Thus Thompson............rep 44 P R Winslow............... rep Rickreall J T R e e d .................. dem 41 J C W h ite ..................dem 44 Lewis Huaser............... rep 44 W B Allen .................rep 4* J R Cattelein............... rep 44 8 H Crowley...............deni * 44 Finley Edgar ............. dem 44 Jas Hickeraon...............rep 44 J R Koser ................... rep. 44 J S Lite......................... rep •4 B F Lucas.................. dent 44 C A M iller..................dem * 4‘ J E M ille r ................. * 44 J F Vaughn.................. rep 44 Geo W ait................... dem S Indep H I) Brunk.................dem 44 J R C ollin s................ dent 44 R E Ferguson............... rep 44 Alfred Huston............dent * 44 S E Launes................ dent C A M cCauley............ rep * 44 Frank Hartz...............dem 44 J VV Osborn ................ rep ■if 44 Sanford Snyder............rep 44 R J Taylor..................dent 44 M T illery................... deni S Monmouth Kenneth Campoell .. ind * * * jk * * xk. w » 'is vv' i« ‘A ^ w \*- .y w 44 T E Alexander........... dem ■w ’V i ^ ^ vx ^ ^ ^ ^ 44 Tlios Alexander..........(lent 44 W H Ireland ............. dem 44 M F P erciva )............... rep 44 R H Simpson............. dent B V J 0 Anderson.......... dem BV Don H Dickinson____ deni Silver M Stiver,.................dem Lucki’te E K Hewitt............... rep E Dallas Jas Clow.................. ind 44 T I) Phillips................ pro T C H ill.................... none 44 Chas Gregory............dem 44 Frank G lo v e r............. rep is full and complete. It’s 44 J SV Miller.................soe the “ Monarch” display of 44 C A Ramsey................ ref» 44 J W Hayes.................deni it’s kind. Don’t growl if 44 A C Cam)'bell............. rep you get “ bit” elsewhere 44 Henry Gohrke ........... rep 44 J W Sweeney............. dem on notion goods, when 44 Henry Campbell ....... rep for rh^ same money you 44 H Morrison.................dem 44 J R Harris................ dem could have bought o f us. 44 F M Smith.................. rep •4 T G Richmond............rep 44 .Tno Blodgett.............. *.rep 44 C V Bell ..................... pro 44 Dick E lder..................rep McCoy Wm T Wallace...... ...dent and a thousand and one other things make up our 44 Peter L Burns.............deni assortment. S Dallas II M Brigham............. rep “ A D Burnett.................rep They re fresh and new like our entire spring stock 44 E L Shelton...............dem o f goods. V isit our notion counter and sort up on 44 W R Stump ............... rep what you want. 44 J O Shaw .............. dem 44 Jno Simpkins.............dem 44 F W Hinshaw..............soc 44 F A Stiles .................. deni 44 L R Livermore........... rep X Indep T B Clevenger............. soe “ J I, Hanna .............rep 44 Cliffard McBeth...... rep 44 J A Simons................. dem I 44 J F Smith ................ dem 44 F W Treanor.............dent 44 J H Ward ..................rep ELECTRICITY EOR LIGHTING IS ONLY EXPENSIVE 4‘ JD.White.aker...........dem | N Dallas .1 V Lyons .............. dem 10 PEOPLE WHO ARI WASTEFUL AND CARELESS. Rov R Sparks............dem 5 Mon .1 F Powell reP 4 44 A T * Voss ....... .dein 10 YOU. WHO ARE NATURALLY CAREFUL, 44 W P Fisher.. . . .........rep I Republican ...................................... 4H1 11 DOES NOT COME HIGH. Democrat......................................... 298 Socialist ........................................... .37 Prohibitionist.................................... 19 it i. «•ono!n,c» l beran.e it r»n be qnicklv tnrnH off when not Independent...................................... 18 neeile»!. VI ,th ga, or ker.oK-ne th.-re i* the temptation to let light Total: Ml burn, » ien not needed, to save bother of lighting ami admitting. In some homes the electric light bill amounts to only »boat *2 per The principal contribution to the month. V ou can probably get some kind of artificial light for less March number of Everybody’* is an ap m o n e y tnan electric light, but doe. it save you anything when .t preciation of Governor Hughes by Er- man J. Ridgway. It is a sketch of the limits opportunities for work and recreation, ruin, your eyesight personal side of the governor, told in smokes your walls, mam decoration, and increases household work’ direct, conversational language. No less Y on can probably save a dollar tomorrow by going without your timely, and of widespread importance, is meals hut .t wouldn't be economy. It I, not so much what'you an article by Lieut. Hugh Johnson, F.S. A., entitled “ The Lamb Rampant,” save, bm how y o u save, that counts. We an- always ready to ex- pointing out in powerful terms the stag plam the "ins and outs" of the lighting proposition to von Call nation of the American Ar nv system. on ii. or phone to us. We are never too busy to talk Imsines., Owen Winter write* “ The Freezing of Washington,” in his usual brilliant style, showing how completely the true personality of the great Virginian is “ congealed” in modern text-honk*, and Charles Edward Russell finishes his series exposing the corruption in rail way and street car operation. When it comes to SIM ONTON & SCOTT 3|i F i s k e , th e B e s t P r in te r j|[ CHINA a n d GLASS W A RE * * * * * * * * * A T REDUCED PRICES ! At the Racket Store * m * m * * * * m * * * i * ï » * * * * * w O u r L in e of N o tio n s Pins, Dress Shields, Hair Pins W. H. ROY & C O . WAVAVAVATATATATAVJ AVATATATATATi^ í I I $ I Willamette Valley Co. The splendid New Home sewing ma chine which some one of our corre spondents will lie the pn.nd possessor of on May 1st, has arrived from Massa chusetts. and is now to he seen in this office. It It a beauty ami well worth the effort pat forth to gain Ik 5 E. W. KEARNES, Manager Office on Mill street, just north of the court house Phones: Dallas, Oregon Bell, 421, Mutual, 1297. ^TATiTATATATATATAT TATATATATATATA^