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About Polk County itemizer. (Dallas, Or.) 1879-1927 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 1, 1901)
SHORT NEWS STORIES. IT.»™ H ollan d m ost an M laatd the T id e—A l A p o lo c y —Stories of Queen on I A B O Y ’S L O C O M O T IV E . V ictoria. T!i«* «It nth of Sir Arthur Sullivan re- eontly ncnllw an offer that composer once it tde an American manager that was refuaed. which, had It been other wise, would have made him an inde pendent fortune. The manager was Georg«» Holland, who at the time was directing the Grand Avenue theater In Philadelphia. When “ Pinafore” was running in London. Mr. Holland hap pens! to be there, and one night met Gilbert ami Sullivan at the Garrick club. They asked him wljat he thought the opera would do in America, and Mr. Holland promptly replied that he fear ed ¡t* refined satire would not be ap preciated ¡11 this country and after some oilier talk flatly refused an offer of $300 for the exclusive American rights. 8ulMKH]uently “ Pinafore” was brought to America by another mana ger and presented at K iralfy’s theater, now the Broad Street theater, Phila delphia. and. as Holland had predicted, played originally to empty benches. Soon after tills, however, the tide turn ed In its favor, and those who read do not have to be reminded of Its subse quent record. Holland himself, who Is authority for the statement, says that had he accepted he could have amassed an almost colossal fortune out of the piece. Just another case of missing the tide. A im FOR L IT T L E FOLKS. T j magnetism of the stick. an T h e C h o o - c h o © n S le w J e r s e y B oy M a d e O u t o f 11«»*«*« a n d T l i l n c > . C h ln e a e W a r l i k e I n a t ln e t a . A p o lo g y . T h e H ell o f th e AnKeln. It is euiri, somewhere, at tw iligh t A great bell softly swings. And a man may listen and harken T o tlie wondrous music » hat rings. w as w rong ." really was very young then, failed to please him. lie went through her scene with her. but she was too nerv ous to do herself justice. 'Phe more he labored the worse the scene went Finally he burst out at her: “ Where In tin* name of a great many things «lid you learn to act?” lie roared. “ You’re not half wltted, that’s what alls you. You’re not Imlf witted.” That was too much for the girl nud she «lashed oft the stage, refusing to return till the stag«* manager had apologised for his brutal speech. The proprietor of the theater was sent for, and tlie manager of tlie company, and the treasurer, and the wardrobe wo man. and the "angel.” They soothed the young woman and assured tier that tin* man should apologize When they spoke to him about It lie said he’d se«* himself In a region not ou the map before he'd take back what lie said It took them one hour to convince him lie* owed tin- apology Finally lie gave In lie called the entire company to get her “ Lmlles and gentlemen." said he, “ I desire to apologize to Miss X. for what I said to her. I told her she was not half wltted. 1 was wrong. I take It back. She is.” S to r ie s o f V ic t o r ia . I n . ’* Leo Li Is worth Kenney, a boy of 7 i s n o t 111.” years, who lives at Plainfield. N. J.. t Johnny looked up In the man's face ( has a marked talent for “ inventing very seriously and said, “ My muster Is j things.” All his playtime is taken up always In.” Johuuj'j master was the all seeiug in making some sort of contrivance that amuses him far more than tin God. Let us all when we are tempted toys which most little boys enjoy play to do wrong adopt Johnny’s inatto, "My master Is always In.” It w ll tug with. The picture given herewith shows an save us from many a sin and much sor- engine which Leo built for himself | row.—Chatterbox. and It is just as real to him as thoug! N o C r e d i t F o r G o o d In t e n t I o n « . it eould draw a real train, ami when “ Some people.” said a little boy, “ nev he sits in the “ cab.” with bis hand on er thank ye. no matter what ye do fur the "throttle,” his imagination carries ’em. A feller put a beut plu on the him through space as fast as any lim teacher’s chair th* other day, an when ited express between Jersey City and tli* teacher was about to set down 1 Chicago. pulled th’ chair out from under him to One day Leo was sent out In his fn save him frum th* pin. an he licked m> tiler’s barn, and lie gathered up all the fur it!” —Chicago Tribune. grocery boxes he could find about, to T h e F o u r Zones. get her with barrel and keg covers “ How many zones have we. Willie?” The biggest (lacking box he uses for asked the teacher of a pupil lu the Junior class. “ Four,” was the reply. I “ Well. then, name the four,” said the teacher. “ The frigerated, the horrid, the temperance and tlie intemperance,” answered the little fellow. The Washington Post tells this story about a prominent actress and the fall OLKA It T H K T R A C K ! ing out she had with a famous stage the body of the engluc, which Is large manager when her career was younger enough for him to get in and out of by several years than It Is now. The easily. Tw o smaller boxes piled In stage manager was known always from support the smokestack, which is as the worst tempered man In Ills pro a short log of wood, and the smoke fession. and he had been bred In the pouring from its top is illustrated by a days of the old school, when young bunch of black, curled hair. stngefolk were .supposed to have no At the front Is fastened a bicycle feelings worth considering. One day lamp, which serves as a headlight to at rehearsal the youug actress, for she shine out far up the track, and below Is seen the “ cowcatcher," made from a box lid. which will safely clear away any stray «logs or careless children who may loiter in the road. A barrel cover makes the big front driving wheel, and smaller lids furnish the wheels behind. The coal box is plied high with blocks of Its make be lieve coal. Leo is a quiet, thoughtful boy, who attends schoql regularly aud Is fond of his books. •i V e ry Q neer, “ I rend the other «lay that automobiles are replacing horse* ou some of the west “ Johnny,” Haiti a man, looking at a ern rant lu**." said the observant boarder. ! boy who was taking care of a shop i “ I should think that Imrseless cowboys while his master was out, “ you must , would be considerable of a novelty,” com give me extra measure. Y’our master j mented the cross eyed boarder.—Pitts burg Chronicle-Teh'gra ph. “ M y M a s t e r la A l w a y s “ The Chinese have no warlike In stincts.” says Colonel Webb C. Hayes, who has Just returned from service on the personal staff o f General Chaffee. “ They are not a nation of warriors, but If they should ever be trained they would make the finest soldiers In the world. They do not know what fear means, and they absolutely disregard death. There are two things they wor ship—their fathers and the almighty dollar. You may kill a man over there, and no one thinks anything o f It unless the dead man happens to be his father. They shrug their shoulders and say, •There are plenty left,' and that is ail. The Chinese are not vindictive. They g«*t excited now and then and go In for slaughter, and the n ex t‘ minute they are cool and are drinkiug tea. Our cavalry made an attack upon a mob of Chinese one day. and they quietly sat down upon the ground and .waited the advance of tlie column. They knew they would nil be kilh»d. but did not seem t«» care. They struck at the h o r s e s with pikes and something that looked like forks. The Idea of trying to disemlmwel horses ami fighting cav alry by sitting upon tlie ground was something new for modern soldiers to face.” I,e ft H a n d e d M o to rm e n . “ Unions the present style o f trolley cars should go out of vogue,” says a gossiper In the New O rlevis Times If he put from Ills heart’ s Inner chamber Democrat, "they will develop a race of A ll the passion, pain and strife, left handed motornien. If you will no Heartache and weary longing Tliut throb in the pulses of life; tice the motorman next time you get on a car. you will observe that he keeps If lie thrust from his soul all hut red. ills left hand on the crank which con All thoughts of wicked things. He can hear in the holy tw iligh t trols the current and his right on tlie How the bell o f the angels ring9. one connected with tlie brake. The reason for such au arrangement Is Let us look In our heurts nud question, Can purer thoughts enter in that the brake crank requires consul To n toil if it lie already eralily more strength In Its manipula The dwelling of thoughts o f sin? tion. but the current r«*gulator comes So then let us ponder a little, into play ten times as often aud has to Let us look in our hearts and see be moved at much greater speed. As a If the tw iligh t bell of the angels matter of fact, the operator is contin Can ring for you and me. ually shifting It to anti fro for the pur (¿n in«* o f l * o « t m u ii. pose of increasing or decreasing the Any number of people can play “ post power, and a sort of dial, over which man.” A blind folded player is the the handle moves, tells him exactly “ postman.” aud a second player Is the how much electricity he is calling into “ postmaster.” The other players sit In play at any given moment. All that chairs at the sides of the room. The demands special alertness and atten post master gives each person the name tion. while with the brake it is merely it- :t city or town and leads the blind a matter of a straight pulL The natu P sttnan within the circle of players. ral consequence of such an unequal dl I’hen lie says. “ I am sending a letter vision of labor Is to transfer tlie dex from New York to Chicago" (or be- terlty of the right hand to the left, and twe«*n any other two towns), and tlie with many of the older men It has al players having those names must jump ready become noticeable." up aud change places. If the postmau catches one of them while changing or A T ro u b le s o m e T ablet. gets to the empty chair first, that per The handsome bronze tablet, 12 feet son has tu take the postman’s place. A by 5. which the state of New Hamp player who docs not get up when hl> shire presented to the battleship Ala •Ity Is called also becomes his postman. hnma is giving the officers a good deal of trouble. It was Intended to occupy A IIn n «lk e r c h ie f T r ic k . n position on the exterior of the for To perform a simple trick you wll! ward turret directly under aud be iced a round stick about 12 or 18 inches tween the two 12 lueb guns. Figure long. Insert a needle In one end of'It heads having become obsolete, that so that about three-quarters of tin portion of a man-of-war Is used oowa pointed «*nd projects. Hold the stick days to receive the ship’s escutcheon upright and throw a handkerchief on But the workmen find It Inqiossible to to It so that the center alights on tin* bore holes In the harveylzed steel In uppermost end where tlie needle is order to rivet it, and It may have to When the stick Is twirled rapidly be- occupy a less conspicuous position. twecu the palms of the hands, the hand kerchief will stand out as If It were a T «»o C lo s e D a n c in g . piece of stiff card, aiul. as the needle The young people get too close to does not show, you can pretend that each other as they dauce. It looks bad the luindkerchief adheres owing to the and is very Improper. Young ladles Mrs. Oliplmnt notes of the Princess Victoria herself that notwithstanding her simple breeding she early allowed a should Insist on the gentlemen sup vein of natural diplomacy porting their arm at right angles with When tnkeu to se«* bet “ uncle king” the shoulder. It Is ail rigid to be a f and be lug naked to choose what music fect iotuite, but the place for it Is not In the bn ml would pln>. she asked for the ballroom. If you want the youug “ God Save the King." nan to hug you. have him do it at home Another time the king asked tin and not in a public hall where every princess which she had most enjoyed one can see you Besides tlds. It is of the amusements at Windsor. “ The The blood may be in bad condition,1 much more comfortable to hold the drive I took with you. Uncle King.” yet w ith no external signs, no skin lady or gentleman at a distance. You replied I lie little courtier. Here Is another story, different In truption or sores to iudicate it. Th« j can dance caster and be more grace symptoms in such cases being a variable ful.—Hot ton (Kan.» Headlight. »harneter. tmt qually delightful: "She was a brave fit tie person, not appetite, poor digestion, an indescribable given to crying or complaints. On one veakness and nervousness, loss of flesh Current gossip avers that the occasion she had been warned not to i.nd a general run-down condition of the play with a dug which was of uncertain system — clearly showing the blood ha* Charlestown state prison. Boston, has abjured mince pi«* as a steady diet for temper, but continued to «lo so until | lost its nutritive qualities, has become thin the prisoners because the medical ex the animal betraye«! himself by a sud .n«l watery. It is in just such cases thal perts declare that It Impairs the health den suap *Oh. tlmnk you,' she aald; •he dldu’ t Idle me; he ouly wanted 3. S. S. has done some of its quickest and of the Inmates and tends to Increase most effective work by building up th« the death rate. The exclusion of this me.' " —London Chronicle. blood and supplying the elements lacking dyspeptic dainty will doubtless de crease the hospital list In Charlestown, F l o w e r S eeiln In ( h e t t i l t e d S t a t e « . to make it strong aud vigorous. but lu what other prison on earth do Southern California lias several " M y wife used sev the convicts get mince pic. except pos protniui'iit growers of flue double petu eral 1 Kittles of S. S. S. sibly on Christmas «lay or Thanksgiv nias and other plants. The rapid ad as a blood purifier and ing? No\v York Tribune. vance of the California sweet |H*a seed lo tone tin a weak and In popularity Is most marvelous. Nas *maciate«l system,with S r r o m l T h anglita, turtiums. cosmos. verlsMias, petunias very marked effect by On second thoughts, fair It os«! inti. i ud asters are quite successfully way of improvement. You now r«*grct that you declined " W e r e g a r d it a grown. So Important a factor have My ardent suit an<! srertmd my pies the California sweet pea growers lx*- great tonic an«I blood W ith lh «t unmerciful d r e t n purifier. ” —J. F. D uff , Who tor your lovs in vain had pined. conie to the seed trade that some deal Princeton, Mo. ers go there annually from the east to L«>ng obdurate, no longer me ltis|M'ct the growing crops and to hunt is the greatest of all You look on so disdainfully; Sunn- piI v in )«xir l< n n ( >ou find for novelties In the sweet (h*a line. tonics, and you will On second thoughts. Flower seeds are grown In n number fin d the appetite im of places throughout the United States, proves at once, strength Alas, had you but thus turned kind hut only a |M»rtlon of the trade is sup returns, and nervousness vanishes as new Lre thus*,* «round* In-ale-1 you left behind, Kre from your toils I struggled free plied with home (frown seed. rich pure blood once more circulates W hen fairer Maud I t lu m n l to see. But now— I. to«), tune «-hanged my mind through all parts of the system. On srtvmd thoughts. S. S. S. is the only purely vegetable blood purifier k novn. It contains no min erals whatever. Send for our free book For Infants and Children. on blood and akin diseases and write out physicians for any information or advice c ▲ ■ T O R Z A . wanted. No charge for medical advice. B ea n the TS t«S T h N w Uw«« |ot(M la n lk . INC SWIFT SFtC'FlC CO., ATLANTA. «A. S lfo A to r« o f No E x te rn a l S ym p to m s. C A S TO R IA Tfci Kind Yn Hats Always Bought About H a n d so m e L it t le H o u s e P la n t. A n l i i i * ir e a a '»n to tl«e C c n ' r a r y . F A L L OR CHARD WORK. t h e Sis«* o f It. Uusltetn—1 haven’t uuy use for loafers. Guwhein—Oh. they are all right iu their way. Uushem—There’s where you are wrong. They are always right iu somebody else’* way.—Exchange. A L i m i t e d S u » »| »l r . She said she meant to speak her mind And w ould» t take mutii time to do It; The other said, with sneer unkind. It wouldn't take long it she knew it. —Chicago News. I n h e r it « the Miss hop so Miss futher can. A Among the florists’ autumn novelties and flue plants that old time favorite, the Jerusalem cherry, holds Its own bravely aud Is a frequent and pl«>uslug sight. The Jerusalem cherry Is u very satisfactory house plant, with clean, Hop. Askit-VYhnt makes Mr. Malts funnily win u lie dunces? Gubbcigh— It’s hereditary. His was a brewer.—Baltimore Ameri C a n 't T a k e the M e d le la e . Bobbs— Laughter is a cure for indiges tion. Dobbs— But a mini can’t laugh when he has dyspepsia.— Kxchunge. The T h o u u h tlc«« Farm er. Huhi.* bought j hat. believing that ’ Twaa just tin* sire to wear, but Just after be had bought the hat He got his yearly hair cut. — Philadelphia Pr« E d u c a tio n In P o rto R loo. The expense of maintaininn schools in Porto Rico is very high, if we con sider the amount spent for the small number of pupils enrolled; but a« that country is gradually brought in closer touch with our own, their sys tem will evidently be changed, uutil it reaches our present slate of perfect ion. In tbif country the people are being educated to the fact, that there is a sure cure for dyspepsia, indiges tion, constipation, kidney and liver troubles, and that medicine is Hostet ler's Stomach Bitters. It should be taken at the very first symptom, if you would avoid unnecessary suffer ing. I t will give prompt relief ai.d eventually cure, as hundreds of peo ple, including many prominent pliy- sicans, have testified during the last fifty years. S o u th e rn C a lif o rn ia . Notable among the pleasures afford ed by tlie Hhasta route is the winter trip to Southern California and Arizo na. Renewed acquaintance with this section will ever develop fresh points of interest and added sources of en joyment, under its sunny skies, in tlie variety of its industries, in its prolific vegetation and among its numberle s resorts of mountain, shore, valley and plain. The two daily Hhasta trains from Portland to California have been recently equipped with the most ap proved pattern of standard and tourist sleeping cars, but the low rates of fare will still continue in effect. Illustrat ed guides to the winter resorts of Cal ifornia and Arizona may be had on application to C. H. Markham, G. P. A., Portland, Oregon. •«T fc* D e v i l ’ » T u r n i p F a te h .** On the top of Bald Eagle mountaR Just where the old turnpike breaks over the brow down into Black Hole valley, la a queer field of rock, which years ago was christened “ The Devil's Turnip Patch.” The rooks, which are of a reddish sandstone, have a striking peculiarity of all standing on end, thus forming a Jagged, irregular surface, that won for it Its queer name from the early settlers. In bygone «lays, when the stages wheeled their way up from Northum berland to Williamsport, the four in hands traversed the old pike that skirts the turnip patch, and the strange gar den of rocks was a constant source of wonderment to the traveler. Added to Its Interest as a natural curiosity is a hidden stream of water somewhere beneath the standing stones, the noisy flowing o f which forms a romantic song beneath one’s feet. Nobody knows where the source of this stream Is, nor can anybody find where It emp ties Itself into Black Hole valley. The rock field covers an area of two or three acres, with Its widest part to the north, then narrowing down V shaped to tlie south, where the angle is lost in a fringe of stunted hemlocks and elders. Theorists have figured on the cause of this mountain freak, but the theory obtaining most credence Is that It Is a legacy of the glacial age, the rocks being a coljection pushed luto their present vertical position by the moving Ice.—Philadelphia Record. PAY OF GERMAN JUDGES A X n i u b . r o f T h ln i* . Tlint W i l l M (111 I ' r o l l t o l» l > N . f t t l e B i o n . n •- After the harvesting of the fruits In the orchard too many grow ers consider llicir work Itnlshcd for the season, aud let the trees take care of themselves. While the trees may uot m o l any further cultivation they do require more actual cure than In the summer. My fall work In the orchard Is the most successful that I spend among my trees, and I consider the work more Important lu causing a good crop the next year than the summer cultiva tion In the lirst place the worms and Insects can be destroyed l>ettor now thau ever before. Kvery fallen and ST AR CAPSICUM. decaying fruit harbors worms and In smooth, shining foliage and handsome little red fruits about the size of a sists that will rajse a new brood for cherry, hence Its common name, it tbe next year. They will enter the grows as a beautiful little bush. One ground or the bark of the tree tills variety, called star capsicum, flowers fall, winter there and ei rly in spring in the form of small five pointed »tars. hatch out thousands ol their kind. Plants ore «‘usily raised from seeds Consequently my tirst effort Is to cap or cuttings and make rapid growth to ture and destroy as many of these as the blooming stag«». It is a very ex possible. I not only liuve all the de cellent little window plant and easily caying fruits picked up. hut the len v«s cum! for. The handsome fruits hold and litter under the trees are raked up to tlie plants for a great length of and burned. Fire Is the only sure de time, making them available on many stroyer. The ashes may a r e w a r d lie spread out under the trees ^ fertilise occasions for decorative purposes. the soli, hut tirst every worm nud In sect must lie roasted alive. When the worms are all destroyed in For Over Fifty Y ea rs. An ol«l and well tried remedy. Mrs. lhe fruit, then I hunt for them In the Winslow’s Soothing Syrup has been tree. A good many of them will lie used for over fifty years by millions of concealed Just under the loose hark, mothers for their children while teeth and they <;in entlly lie dislodged nud ing, with perfect success. It soothes killed. O.licrs nitty have worked theni- elves Into holes ami can only be reach tlie child, softens the gums, allays all ed by a wire. By »craping anil hunt pain, cures wind colic and is the best remedy for diarrhoea. Is pleasant to ing around In this way a small army of I worms can he killed, and the trees the taste. Sold by druggists in every i will have Just so many less lo contend part of the world. 25 cents a bottle. with the next season. In this work Its value is incalculable. Be sure aud one prepares the trees for the winter ask for Mrs. W inslow’s Soothing Sy :t!so, for the borers always weaken the rup aud take no other kind. vitality of the trees lu the fall and make them more liable to Injury by r im » . iin i t . tlie cold. “ Fin g«*lting along.” s:ii«l Mr. Curarox. A fter the orchard Is thus cleaned of “ I'm progressing slowly, but surely." | Insects and worms all broken nnd “ lu what’/” “ Culture. I’ ve been traveling around twisted brunches should he carefully with Mrs. C. ami the girls until I'm get pruned off. Where a large Hull* Is cut ting right retili« «1. But there’s one thing •elf. cover the wound with dirt nnd I don’t think I'll achieve. 1 don’t believe Uc a rag around It. This will help I’ll ever In* able t«* g«» into an antique | it to heal up quicker and prevent It stori* aud t«*ll the dilTer«*nc«* between bric- from rotting. A little pruning and a-brac aud junk.” —Washington Star. denning out of the Inside of the trees will prove beneficial In the fall. I,Imba #,I have used Chamberlain’s Colic, that have been twisted ami lieut down by overloading of fruit should he tied Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy and find it to be a greut medicine,” says ::p In position again, and those Hint iiave grown out of all pr< portion to the Mr. E. S. Phipps, of Poteau, Arkan j rest of the trees should be shortened sas. “ It cured me of bloody flux, I j some. Finally there is the question cannot speak to highly of it.” This nf fertilising and mulching. The more remedy always wins the good opinion, ive can ilo of both the better the trees if not praise, of those who use it will prove. One must use Ills own The quick cures which it effects Judgment as to how much of either he even in the most severe cases make it can afford to do. a favorite everywhere. For sale by A. K. Wilson. “ Don’t you think there is lo«» much <!is- poKÌtidU iti UM' money in Ameii«an pMi* I tea ?” “ No. sir.” Hii*w« rt«l th«» worker. “ When I gn oi;t uf :er subset tptnms lo my cuni- puigu ft.ml. I a:u rii«»»•*- ami more «•onviuc- td tbnt »hen* i- a «1* phuuhle disposition to ke«*p ti««* money lying ill«*, —bushing* ton Star. BO YEAR8* EXPERIENCE P atents I HAU» HIATO D esig n s C o p y r ig h t s 4 c . A nyone sending a sketch and description may lalckly ascertain our opinion fr e e js h e tk ir an liiv«iiti.iii I , prub.blv PMl.ntMblp. fom m unlm - lion* strictly confidential. Handbook on Patents sent free. Oldest agency cy ft fo r securing patents. Patents _____ taken through ___ ugh Munn A Co. reoelrs tpecial notice, without charge, . In 1 tb e ' ffl“ " Scientific American. A handsomoly Illustrated weekly. Largest cir culation o f any scientific Journal. Term s. 93 a yea r; fou r months, |L Hold by all newsdealers. mUNN&Co.8e,B"*d "»-r York “«’•New Branch Office. 636 F Bt., W ashington, D. C. South » n d East SOUTHERN PACIFIC CO. SIIASTA KOL'TK Trains leave Dallas for Portland and way stations it 6:10 a. m. except Sundays. Leave Portland 8:30 a in; 7:3«» p m Leave Salem 11 a in; 9:35 p in A rrive Ashland 12:33 a in; 11;30& in Arrive Sacramento b p m : 4:86 a in A rrive San Francisco 7:46 p m; 8:16 a in. A rrive A rrive A rrive A rrive Odgen 5:46 a in; 11:46 a ni. Denver 9:00 a in; 9:00 a m. Kansas City 7:25» m; 7:25 a ni. Chicago 7:46 a m; 9;30 a ni. A rrive Los Angeles 1:20 p ni ; 7:00 a m . A rrive El Pas«» (5:00 p ni; 6:00 p ni. Arriv e Fort Worth 6:80 a nr, 6:30 a ni. A rrive City of Mexico 9:5f> a m ; 9:66 a ni. A rrive Huston 4 00 a n i;4:00 a m. A rrive New Orleans 6:25 p m ;6:25 p ur Arriva Washington 6:42 a m; 6:42 a ni. A rrive New York 12 43 p ni; 12:43 p ni. Pullman ami Tourist cars on both trains. Chair cars .Sacramento to Odgen and El Paso, and tourist cars to Chicago, St. Louis, New Orleans and Wash ington. Connecting at San Francisco with several steam *hld lilies for Honolulu, Japan, China, Phi'lipines Central and South America. . C'OHVA1.L1S MAH. D AILY (Except 8unday) 7:30 A M Lv. 11:03 A M Lv. Portland Derry 11:66 P M A r. Corvallis Ar. 6:60 P Lv. 2:14 P M Lv. 1:20 P II A t Albany amt Corvalis connect with trains of Ore gon Central and Eastern railroad. D ALLAS D a ily , 6 Of P M Lv. 8:25 P M Ar. PASS E N G E R . E x o e p t Sunday. Portland Dallas Ar. 9:30 A M Lv. 6:10 A M Fist»«*»*» o f M e n . 1 lit* O n l y «.«*: nut*. Coiunnuiplae«* Youug Man «scion of il lustrious fauihy» — Hi. tkrrc! Don't you point that thing this way! Camera Fieml— It’s no crime, 1 guess, to tak«* a simp sind of nnylmtiy. Commonplace Youug Man —It is to take one «if me. I'm copyrighted.—Chicago Tribune. Now, ns for me, 1 took no serious view of matrimony. “ Marry him by all means!” I exclaim ed merrily. “ For a cod, you know!” My sister shivered. She was a far more earnest, thoughtful git I than I. “ He is too obviously a lobster for that!" she answered sadly. Of course I did not much mind, oue way or th«» other.—Detroit Journal. H e r I «len o f It . w “ Just listen ami h«*nr imw that hen cackles, just because she has laid an egg,” said Mrs. Bioomti«*hl. “ Sin* evidently think: that the product of the hen ami ln*r joyous stmg comprise the lay of ike land.” ml.led Mr. Bloom field.—Pittsburg C h r o n ic !«* - Telegraph. T h i s I * W h a t T h e y Say. Those who tsks H ood’s Ssrssparills forscroftils,eczema, eruptions, catarrh, rheumatism or dyspepsia, say it cures promptly and permanently, even after all other preparations fail. You may take this medicine witli tlie utmost confidence that it will do you good. W hat it has done for others you have every reason to believe it will do for you. Constipation is cured by Hood’s Pills. 25 cents. P«»liiM«-tt in I*«) p i l l a r YAMHILL DIVISION. Passenge- ■,r" ' ot, foot o f Jefferson street. A IR L IÍ FREÍ i h t - t r i w e e k l y . Leave 8:36 a. in. Portland A rrive 8:06 p. m Leave 3:50 p. in. Dallas A rrive 8:60 a. ni A rrive 5:10 p. m. Ai* lie Leave 7:30 a. ni Sac !. N Woods! agent ¡it Dallas station or address C. II. M AR K H AM , O. P. A. Portland, Oregon. M c P h g erson General Agent on the Pacific Coast for Richardson & Boynton Co s warm air furnaces. John Van Range Co's hotel and household ranges American Boiler Co’s boilers for steam and hot water. Also the largest stock of warm air registers and furnace supplies on the Pacific coast. F o r t'h rl« t m a n . The poinsettiu is n very popular plant for use in dec-orations about Christmas time nud very effective when full grown, nceortliiiff to M«*ehan. There is what is termed a double va riety. having an «*xtra supply of the scarlet bracts uaually looked upon as | petals, which is very <l**sirable. being *t little showier and metre lasting. I Brnneh«*s with these bracts may be L*ut aud list’d as desired or the entire plant I 4 7 F ir s t & n d 4 6 Seconcl s-trccts» PORTLAND The whole questlou of tlie remunera tlou of public ottlclets iu Germany, and especially In Berlin, Is beginning to dein.iml serious attention. English. Scotch or Irish Judges would be amazed If they were Informed of the miserable salaries -gl.r.OU a year Is con sidered atmve the average—which tbelr German colleagues rvcelre for labors which In many cases are far more quinin *is ten years bchin t. Ct-Mado n<»t now havr to tm ensured. Mendel’* Dynamic Tabules exacting tliaD their own. In the days (c»Jled dynamic from thair energy) cmw.l a wesk’w when Prussia was a small agricultural •rclin ry treatment into 12 hours, and abort t$»e worst ef cold« over night. slate and the standard o f life In the " I t w a*the worst cam o t grip I ever had A haif towns nns low, such salaries, combin | losen friend« hod sure pure* Still it hung on. , Heard of the Dynamic Tabule*. To ni.v amazement ed with the honor of Iteiug a Prussian j they «topped both cough sud colJ the flr*t night 1 official, may have been adequate. | endorse amt recommend them t » the people." Bar clay Henley, ex-irenibcr congress and attorney, lOI Nowadays the honor of tbe position Is Saiioom* street, San Frmnciaeo. July 7, 19«>0, tbe only attraction, and able men who ! "W in te r eoldahave always l»een -erioiia things to They are hard and at ay for months. But the nre poor Ibid an offhlnl career an ex- I me. la*t was ¿topped suddenly by Mendel’« Dynamic Tabules. Roth cough and cold nisappeared in a | pensive luxury. couple o f day«. Nothing else doe« this f o r m e ” The profession o f law, moreover, ex Mrs. Knnna L Hollín, 1« Mo»« street, San Francisco, cept In Its highest official grades. Is not i August 6, 1900. " l live acras* the street from w-iere Mendel's Dy- licuored iu Germany os it is In Eng- I 1 namic Tabula« are in.ul« Tna is h »w I first too»« land. Will It la- believed that a barris them. The> »tap cold* without notice. I t«*ok * bates with me for self sn d flien d * when l ter as such cannot lie received at court? dozen went to Nome H. L Van in lle , capitalist, 3.017 There is a true story o f a foreign bar Washington street, Han Francisco August 10, rister who was Invited to attend a court I960 Sent postpaid for ?5 cents in «tamp* by IN L A N D function in Berlin and who was also re ! DKUO C«> 2.934 Washington street, San Francisco. qmolted. In necordance with tbe Prus Ala» on salt by our local a ent, A. « Wilson. sian custom, to state his profession at the chamberlain's office. He replied. “ I am a rechtsanwalt” (barrister!. “ Could you. please, give some other description o f your quality?” pleaded the court official. “ Barristers are not hoffahlg (L cannot go to court) In Berlin.” —London Telegrapbt - O n tq O fi R T P Ä N S TABULES B A D COLDS- \ D o c to rs fin d A G ood P r e s c r ip t io n f o r mankind T ? *** **,lJ* * * t. E»n?gjri«ts, G ro c e r« , W esfanrant*. W e w «-S «w .d * «¿en eral s lo , . , , nd *■*•*•: J » " « * p a in . M m , l « . p p rM tm g life. O n * g iv es relief N o M atter wtwii** the m « t i r r n u r w I M ill Dl* «• W it. Forni soul I Tliers’ s no meed For high, noble deed. No matter how hard vou s triv e You can’ t get your name In the Hall of Fame lo long as you’ re still alive. —Chicago Tribi T~ «- p i»' .»» o», » . . « d " - .**** If f - " * * 1 •• * * T • • » * * » , O« m q i .1 of th. R ipo m % C . . ui.Spfu., Si.. N.w V « k L u ,