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About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 19, 1889)
r: UNDER THE STARS, JTic mldn.ght hour Is here, and silence brood I With folded wings o'er all the sleeping world; The whlppo will within the sedg fen Hath hushed bis querulous uoa-g, and the dull owl Tits calm and voiceless In the darksome wood. Impelled by sleepless care I walk abroad Through the moist meadows, where the breath Ihr flowers VBend forth sweet Inccrtso to the stooping hills JV'hose shadows hold the vale In loved cm brace. Eoftlv.the breeze comes from the groves afar nd pothering from the meads a thousand ,voets flarTtliem away in sllcnco to the stars, alUt earth sits weeping tears of pearly dew For the dear loss, but speaks no ovll word. Dut of the moonless skies the luminous stars, Circling In wondrous harmony and graco 'Itound the great central throne of majesty, Flash down sweet words of peace and truth and love; Peace in the perfect motion of the spheres, 1" ruth In the light that streams upon the world, &nd love In the dread power that holds them v still VInswcrv:ng In their way through tho bluf deeps. t bow my head In silence as I walk, nd saddening cares nnd wearing toll forgot; I listen to the voices of the stars; For oh, they speak with no uncertain sound, And in their motion s ng Thy praise, O God, Thy pru.se and love, Thy majesty and might u such 11 blessed hour urlcf Hies, and leaves The soul rojoiclnir, foi the glory of God Falls down In golden rnys upon tho earth, And truth and beauty live in tho sweot light. .-P. J. Donahue, In Sprlngtiold (Mass.) lie publican. HUMBLE HERO. An Incident of tho Flood in tho Alabama Rivor. Negroes frequently exhibit a won derful degree of heroism in times of danger. An instance of this I wit nessed in tho spring of 1880, whon a freshet in tho Alabama rivor caused tho country on each side to bo over flowed by water for many miles. Tho negroes on tho river planta tions wore tho greatest suft'orors. Their cabins would bo undor wator almost before they know that danger threatened them, and hundroas of them were sornotimes found huddled together upon somo knoll sufliciontly elevated to be abovo tho wator. Thoro they often remained two or three days Vand nights without food and exposed to a soaking rain. Fortunately, tho weather was not cold. Many relief expeditions wore sent out from the neighboring towns to ros cue them. These consisted of ono or more boats, manned by export oars men and swimmers, and filled with cooked provisions, blankets, etc. One day tho news came that tho negroes on certain plantation had sought refuge upon a corn crib, around which tha water was rapidly rising, and so ren dering, their condition exceedingly precarious. Two boats started out at onco to their assistance. In ono of theso I went, accompanied by another whito man and a negro. An amusing occurrence took place not long after our starting. In the middlo of a submerged field, about one "1 hundred yards to our right, we saw a little, woolly black head, with a frightened black face beneath it, pro jecting from the wator. Wo rowed hastily towards it and drew out of tho muddy wator a negro boy about oight years old, perfectly naked, and lie'.d him up ariiong us. "Hero. Moses," cried one, holding a tin cup with whisky in it to his mouth, "hero, tako a drink." "Tako a bito of this bread, Moses," cried another, trying to crowd tho bread into his mouth. "No; lot Moses havo some' of this fried bacon. It'll do him tho most good." said tho negro oarsman. But Moses shook his head and turnod aside from all tho offorod food. "I'so erbleoged to yer, marstors," ho said, while his whito tooth shone and his eyes rolled wildly. "I'so erbloeged tor yer, biit I hain't sot down 1 in two days, by tryin' to keep my hoad out'n do watah, an' all I wants, ef yer ploaso, is to set down." Ho was promptly wrapped in a blanket and sot down, whore for an hour he sat. without moving, enjoying the porfect rest of his now position. At tho ond of that timo ho boguu to eat. I draw a vail over his porform V anco in this line. Wo feared wo had rescuod him from a watory gravo to kill him with eo"n bread and bacon, although tho negro oarsman insisted that ho nover heard of u "niggah bain' hurt by too much to oat." Meeting a returning boat soon after, wo put Moses in it and sent him to town. I nover hoard of him again, but presume ho survived both his unusual bath and banquet Wo resumod our journey, and Just boforo dark sighted tho corn crib, upon which a mass of black hu f manitv clustered like a swarm of boos. A heavy rain was now falling, and daylight beginning to fade away, their condition bocomo most distress ing, as they sat in perfect silence watching our approach. But wo did not npproclato their ox tremo poril until, as tho boat struck against tho frail log-houao, which was in tho water to tho edgos or tho rooi, It visibly shook and tottered. The poor creatures began to clamber hur riedly down to tho Doau "Ston!" I crlod. "Tho .voraen and children first" Tho men obediently rosumod their eats. Wo took in first the children wd thon tho women, getting thom all In eafelv. and wore about to push on, tolling tho men wo would hurry back foghorn as quickly as possible or send LhtPfirat boat we met, whon a vory old woman (I noticed she was tho last to net in tho boat and had dono bo re- Inctantly) adzed tno corner 01 mo nouee, and, looking anxiously Into my laoe. Bild: Marster, ain't you gwino take my "No, auntie," Innswered, "tho boat I i. , t? . id iuu mil uuw. no must, win, uu wo ' como back." Tho words woro hardly out of my mouth when with a sudden spring she was up and on tho roof ngain. It shook as sho scrambled on all fours upon it and took hor seat by a little. withored old black man, whoso hand sho seized and held as if sho was afraid wo would tear her away from him. "Come, auntie, I cried, "this won't do. We ean't lonvo you here. and wo can't wait any longer on you." "Go on, murstor, sho answered. I thanks yer, en I pray do good Lawd to fetch you all safe home; but I gwino stay hyah wid my ole man. Ef Simon got to git drownded, Lyddy gwino git drownded, too. Wo dun bin togedder too long to part now." And wo hud to leave hor, after throwlug them somo blankets and a lot of provisions. As wo rode oil in tho rain nnd night a high falsetto voice, tremulous with o, camo across tho waters fi om tho crib, whore wo left tho almost certain ly doomod group in the blnckness of darkness. They dared not havo a light for foar of sotting fire to their frail support Wo stopped our onrs to listen to tho song. It camo clear and distinct First Lyddy's trembling voice, and then a chorus of a .ozen or moro of tho deep bass voices of tho men : " We're a cltng'n' to do ark, Tako us In, take us In. Funic watah's deep on dark, Take us in, take us In. Do' de Hash Is po' en weak, Take us in. take us In. 'Tlsde I.awd we gwintur seel- Take us In, tako us in. Den Ii iwd, hole out dy han', Take us In, tako us In. Draw de slannhs to de lanv Take us in, take us In." We could wait and listen to the weird sounds no longer, but struck our oars into the wator and hurried away. Most fortunately wo camo across a boat bont upon tho same errand as oursolves, which went immediately to the crib and saved all of its living freight Tho crib had, apparently, been hold down by their weight, for. as tho last ono loft it, it turned over and floated away to tho gulf. Thoir rescuers told us afterwards that as thoy neurod tho crib, tho first sound they heard was an old woman's voico singing: "l)e Lawd is hyah'd our cry," Answered by tho men: 'Take us in. tako us In. En He'll save us by en by, Tako us in, take us In." To this simple-hearted old creature divorce courts and separations were unknown. With her it was "until death do us part Detroit fcreo Press. THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. Thoy Form n Completely United Iloily, KntprprisiiiK anil Harmonious. No State of tho Union is a nation, though several States exceed huro pean nations both in sizo and popula tion, the Si'ato of Now York, for ox- ample, being both larger and moro populous than tho whole of Switzer land; and no Stato reprosents a his torical nationality. Ilenco tho ox- perionco of Amorica, it may bo ob served, throws no light on tho possi bility of using "federalism and local autonomy an convenient methods either for rocognizing and giving freo scopo to the sentiment of nationality which may oxtst in any part or an em pire, or for mooting tho need for local institutions anil distinct legislation which may ariso from differences be twoeon such a part and tho rost of tho empire." Tho States, looked at as a wholo, mako up tho United States, but tho Uuitod Statos are nothing but tho political form into which circum stances havo molded tho constitution of a oinglo nation. Tho Americans aro as much ono pooplo as tho Fronch or tho Italians; they form a moro complotoly united body than do tho inhabitants of tho United Kingdom. Tho men you moot at Now York difior leas from tho men you meet at Chicago than Londonors from the oitizonsof Edinburgh or than both from tho citizens of Cork. Tho difference, indeed, botween whites and blacks Is of course fundamental, but tho aim of tho negro is to imitate to tho best of his power tho ordinary Amorieiin citizen, and thoro does not exist at present and, as far as ono daro prophesy any thing, there is not much likelihood there will exist in tho Union any thing like negro national ity. Meanwhile nnd this is of pri murv imnortanco tho division into States does not correspond with dit feronces of reliirlous creed. An En glishman who goes from London to Edinburgh enters into a now moral at mosphere Who can pass a month in Scotland without hearing of tho dlf- feroncos which dlvldo tho Froo Church from tho Establishment? What sane man living in England cares to recall theso subjents of division? Tho Ro man Catholic citizen of Ticlno Is a dlfforont man from tho Gorman Ho man Catholic of Lucerne; each differs frnm tho Gorman Protestant of Berno or tho French Protestant of Geneva. A cltlzan of tho United Statos Is an American: ho is not a Callfornlan or a New Yorkor. Edinburgh Rovlow. Doing His Prettiest. Mr. Budworthy Rather clover fel low, that young Dudolong, don't you think? MUs Tewstuloa I really couldn't tell. Ho scarcolv uttered a word tho wholo timo ho was hero. Mr. Budworthy Sly dog! Ho knows whon ha is at hla bost Puck. Woaleyan University, Middle- town. Conn., boa an endowment oi $700,0001 . . PETER THE GREAT. Tlio Half Crmy Imperial Genius Who Created Modern ItU'slti. In 1 TU'J ho created himself Hmporor, placing the imperial crown upon his own hoad, and soon after on that of tho Llvonlan peasant girl whom ho married, the mistress of his favorite l'rlnco MensehlkolT, onco an Itinerant vendor of meat pies; she afterward succeeded Peter ns Empress Catherine 1. Ills merciless cruelty was shown early, on his return from his first journey, after pulling down the revolt of tho Stroletz, a body of janissaries who had risen to replace his sister Sophia on the throne. Ho executed 2.000 of them In cold blood. Ills only son Alexis, who had opposed his measures and was accused among other crimed of "defending the proscrib ed beards and ehaftans of tho peasants" had gone abroad with his wife, but was lured home by an oiler of reconcilia tion, when he was seized and condemn ed to death by his father and executed in prison. His interference was as trying in small as in great things. One story of his didactic tyranny sounds like a lesson out of "Sand ford and Morton." It Is told by a Frenchman who heard it on the spot in Finland, whero he was sent by Louis l'hilllpe's government to ob tain blocks of rod poryhyry which tho Czar Nicholas had granted for tho toiubof Napoleon under the dome of the Invalided at Paris. Peter was traveling incognito in part of Finland just conquered, where he was executing some naval works, lie met an over-fat man. who told him he was going to Petersburg. "What for?" asked tho Czar. "To consult a doctor about my fat, which has become very oppressive." "Do you know any doctor there?" "No." "Then 1 will give you a word to my friend. Prince MenschikotT and ho will 'introduce you to ono of tho Emperor's physicians." The traveler went to tho prince's house with a note, the answer was not delayed; tho next day, tied hand and feet, the poor man was dragged oir on a cart to tho mines. Two years after Peter the tireat was visiting the mines when suddenly the minor throw down his pick, rushed up to him, and fell at hiH feet, crying: "Grace, graco, what is it 1 havo done?" Peter looked at him astonished, until ho remembered the story, and said: "Oh, so that is you; I hope you aro pleased with me. Stand up. How thin and slight you havo be come! You aro quito delivered from your over-fat; it is a llrst-rato euro. Go, and remember that work is tho best antidote against your complaint!" Prob ably, as over-fat is a disease, tho poor man died of his "cure." "Tho impatient activity of Peter," as a Gorman writor calls it, attempted im possibilities; a perfectly barbarous poo plo could not bo dragged up to tho lovel of civilization of other nations by mere forco of a despot's will without passing through any of the intermediate stages. Accordingly tho mass of tho Russian people continues much tho same in hab its and education as thoy woro whon Peter began his reforms, and a sort of vaneor among tho peoplo and military classes covers a degree of bar barism and corruption which tho rest of Europe has long left behind. Tho restless ambition which ho bequeathed to his successors has gone on to the present day. Cut on" at first both from tho Italtic and Black seas, thoy conquered tho intervening torri torv in each case, and now declaro that thoy will nover rest until thoy got pos session of tho Dardanelles, "without which wo havo not tho key to our own house," said Alexander tho First. Nine teenth Century. KNIVES FROM OLD FILES. in Kxperleneed ArtUsm Kiplalns How They Arn .11 tide. As smiths aro often asked to mako knives from old files by farmers who bo liovo that such knives aro hotter than any thoy can buy at hardwaro stores, I will doscribo my way of makLng thom. I first draw tho temper by heating tho fllo to a cherry red, then placing it in tho ashes, and five inches undor tho forgo and leaving it thoro until it is cool. I thon grind out tho fllo marks and noxt comes tho drawing. I mako tho heat no highor than a bright chorry red, and use a good smooth-faced hammer. Tho fllo is drawn a little thicker than tho back of tho blado is to bo, and the blado is thon bent, edgo being on the Inside. Tho blade Is then drawn to an edgo, tho drawing on tho inner ourvo having tho effect of straightening It. When It has been drawn to an oven and ulco color and straightened, three holes aro drilled in it so that tho handlo can bo fastened on it, and it is then shaped with a file. It is necessary to avoid gotting tho edgo too thin, or elso thoro will bo trouble in tempering. In tempering I uso soft and somewhat warm water. I soizo tho handle ond with a pair of tongs, hold tho blado over a clear, well-charred llro with tho back down, and heat ovonly to tho first holo until I seo that tho blado is red, and thon plungo it endwlso into tho wator. This should leavo tho blado so that whon tried with a fllo, tho fllo will tako hold just n llttlo. If this test shows that tho blado is too hard, I dip it in linseed oil, hold it over a slow, clear flro until tho oil ignites, and then dip into tho water again. This will toughen and enahlo it to hold its edgo bettor. Tho grinding should bo dono on a good, oven faced stone. I havo made many butcher knives In this way, and havo nover heard any complaint about thom. Thoro is not much profit In such work, but It helps to fill up lelsuro time. Cor. Blacksmith and Wheelwright. The 'Force or If-.l.lt. On tho day boforo tho oxocutlon tho kcepor informs a doomed man that a visitor wishes to seo him, "Do you know who ho la'" asks tho doomed man. "No." "Well, just ask him if ho wanta to collect a bill, and if ho docs, toll him to call day aftor to-morrow." Toxaa Sitt ings. A Toledo manufacturer exhibited at tbo Detroit exposition a cako of til ror soap wolghlag S0i pound". SHAKESPEARE. Statue In the Memorial Gnrtlcns, Stmt- foril-on-Avon. Ono of the features of Stratford, Inter esting to the Shakespearo pilgrim, is Lord Ronald Gower's statue of the poet erected last summer in tho Memorial gardens. This work is fine in some of its details, but not fortunate in all, and certainly Infelicitous In Its composition nnd Its side. It consists of a vast pedes tal, on the top of which stands the full length bronze figure of Shakespeare, while at tho four corners of the base are bronze figures of Hamlet, Lady .Macbeth, Henry V. and Falstalf. These character figures are hero named in the order of their merit Hamlet Is the fulfilment of a noble Ideal. The face and figure are full of misery, yet full of thought. The type of man thus embodied would be at once recognized anywhere an Im perial, powerful, tender, gracious na ture, completely broken and subjugated by hopeless grief. Lady Macbeth, though conventional In treatment, does convoy the idea of remorse and of physical attenuation from suffering, and likewise the sense of being haunted. Henry V. is represented as putting on the crown. The figure Is lithe, graceful and spirited, and tho action of it is nat ural. It lacks royal Individuality, how over, and It might bo taken for anylwdy as soon as for Prlnco Henry. Falstalf appears as a type of gross, chuckling humor, and almost might bo taken for Gambrinus or King Peer. Tho intellect and tho predominant character of FalstatI are not Indicated. Theso figures are dwarfed by tho size of tho stone thoy surround a huge pillar, upon which ap propriate linos upon Shakespeare, se lected by Mr. Flower, havo boon In scribed. Tho statuo of Shakespearo himself shows a man of solid self-conse cration and iron will; an observer, of universal view and incessant vigilance. Tho remarkable feature of this figuro Is tho piercing look of tho oyos. This is a man who sees, ponders and records. Imagination and sensibility aro not strongly suggested. Tho face lacks modelling; it is as smooth as a child's face without characteristic curve or wrinkle; perhaps it was designed to ex press an idea of eternal youth. Tho man who had Shakespeare's obvious exper ience must havo risen far above all that this world can do, to bless or to ban a human life. This structure, finally, has been badly placed. It stands on tho south sido of tho Memorial building, and within a few feet of it, so that it is olmost swallowed up by what was In judiciously intended for its background It would show to far better advantage if placed farther to tho southward, look ing down tho long reach of tho Avon to Shakespearo's church. Tho face of tho poot could then be seen from tho spot whero he died, while his face would still look, us it does now, toward his tomb. Cor. N. Y. Tribune. THE USEFUL CACTUS. Without It tho Avnrnco Mnxlcnn Would I.eud u Sorry Kxlntonee. The remark has been mado that "tho cactus has many good points and will not he sat down upon." Tho remark is a true ono, for, as is tho reindeer to tho Laplander, so is the cactus to tho poor Mexican. It furnishes him with a home. suoh as it Is. Ills food In many ways Is nrenarod from tho cactus. Sit down to a meal In a wretched Mexican jacal, and if you do not wish to spread your length upon tho lloor, you win oo oncreu a small wicker stool made from tho tough fibro of tho cactus. The matting spread unoii tho dirt floor, which serves as a table, is woven from tho same material. Corn-meal cakes (tortillas), Iwiled beans, great fat fellows, and a pleasant and wholesome dish of stowed cactuscut into small squares, about tho size of a pea, will constltutoyourropastof solids Tho fruit, without which no Mexican moal is comploto, will be the luscious tuna, which grows around tho edges of the prickly loaves of tho cactus, and which, whon growing, rosombles a huge groon shield surrounded by a oroscont of thorny knobs about the slzo of a small apple, as If serving as a protection for tho tender edgos of the leaves. In Moxican dinner, sweots always occupy a conspicuous part, and on this occasion thodulce will bo tho presorved roots or loaves of this same cactus. Though tho Moxican peoplo aro not a race of hard drinkers, yet at meal timos tho wine or other fermented liquors aro inevitable, and. as tho lower class of Mexicans can not woll afford wino, you aro invited to partake onco moro of this much abused cactus, this timo in tho form of tequila, a most atrocious drink, which looks like gin, harmless enough to all appearances, but which goes down your throat liko a wave of fire, and lew glasses of which will mako you drunk clear to your linger tips. Should this provo tpo much for you, you aro at liberty to partako of another boverago derived from tho samo sourco, but not quite as ardent, 1. e., mescal. This llq uid leaves a dollcato suggestion of tar and red popper in your mouth, and, drunk after eating a certain kind of do mestlo fruit, It is vory dangerous, and in many cases results vory disastrously for tho imbiber. Moxico Lottor. Uppi'r Ilurniiih' Magnetic Ilnnk. In a recent report on magnetic rock among tho hills of uppor Burmah, Dr, Nootllng describes a mountain or hill at Singaung which consists of a hugo mass of iron ore. Having noticed on the way numerous piecos of iron ore, which bo camo still moro frequont on tho south em sldo of tho hill, an examination was mado of tho latter In various directions and It was found that tho surface waa ovorywhero covered with hugo blocks of iron ore, originating ovldontly from tho superficial decomposition of lower beds leading to tho conclusion that the wholo hill must consist of a largo mass of th oro. Dr. N. was unablo, howovor, to as certain tho geological conditions undor which this oro occurs, or its exact limits or oxtonslons, on account of the donso luntrlo, as well as tho tremendous at traction, tho latter rondorlng his com pass useless. Ho estimates, howovor, that tho hill covors at loast an area about a squarn milo, and that it risen about two hundred feet abovo tho lovel of tho Twlungo valley. Tho oro kttnnatlto core x id o of iron. N Y. Sun. GOWER'S HONEST CARL DUNDER The Old I'pllnw Ik Cstrlilng On to Amur, lean Ways nt I.nst. "Hello! Mr. Dander!" saluted SorgMnt Kendall ns that individual entered tho Central station, with a broad, satisfied smile on his countenanco, "Hello! Sergeant Vhas cafe'thlngs ull right mlt you?" "I guess so. ou look happy." "Sergeant, I vhas shust like sweot oil. No moro troubles for mo. I vhas catch- ng on to do shust liko Americans." "I am glad of that. ou used to ixj terribly green." 'So I vhas. Threo months ago Idoan Know some beans in a bag. 1 1 a! hul Dor cows come along nnd take mo for some grass, if it rains 1 sluatnlt right out doors und got wet. tin! ha! It tnakqs me laugh when 1 seo how green I has!" "Anything happened lately?" queried tho sergeant, in a careless way. hell, not mooch. Some fellers try o boat mo, but doy doan' mako omit. I has too sharp for 'em. One feller comes along mit six pairs of sheep-shears in a luuille. He doan want to sell doso hears, but he likes to borrow three dol- ars for one day und leaf 'em for secur ity. If ho doan' come pack in ono day doso shears vhas mine." 'I see." 'Ho doan' come pack. Maypo ho iroak his leg or something, but dot vhas nothing tome. 1 keep dose shears. If ntnopody boats me, sergeant, he shall isif to get oop worry early In dor morn ing." '1 presumo so. Havo you tho shears there?" "1 haf. 1 belief you like to seo 'em." "Thev are worth two shillings a pair," said tho sergeant, aftor an Inspection. 'You are out of pocket fourteen shtll ngs, and what, do you expect to do with sheep-shears?" Ileafons! I doan' think of 4et!" gasped Mr. Dundor as ho grew white in the face. "Any thing else?" "Vhell, 1 got my llfo Insured. Iflonn' loliof 1 vhas shouted by dot. A feller comes along und says vhas I Carl ldn- tlor? I vhas. Vhell. der President of ler United States says ho likes mo to all on you and insuro your llfo. Din vhas a new company UDd n now idea. I ot you in by dor ground floor. I Uko your name to influence odder peoplo. 4 'How vhas dot now idea? 'You pay only two dollars oaffry twenty years, and if you dio your wifo gets S75, 000. It vhas der biggest thing out. Slilldrens cry for It Wandorbllt, Shay Gould, Russell Sago und all dor big follows vhas Into It. How oldt you vhas who vhas your grandmother how many teeth havo you lost oudt vhas you eafor bit by somo dogs did you eafer own a white liorso how ofton you fall down stairs do you rldo on somo bloy elos, und dis vhas der truth, dor whole truth, und nothing but der truth." 'And ho wanted tho two dollars in ad- vanco?" queried tho sergeant. 'Of course. Dot was to pay for shwearing mo." "Well, you are beaten again, Mr. Dun der. Insuranco men don't do business that way. Good day!" 'How you mean? 'You had bettor go homo. Have you got a tub In your houso?" "Of course." "Any bran at tho barn?" "Yes." "Well, mako tho tub about half full of mash and then put your head to soak for about forty-oight hours. When th rough buy somo No. 4 sand-papor and polish it down to tho bono." "Sergeant, vhas I somo greenhorns?" "Vim are." "Vhill 1 eafor learn Bomothings?'' 'Never." "Then, good-bye! I shan't try no moro. it vims a nueor country, uuu nothing vhas dor samo two times alike. Vhon my body was brought in hero doan' mako fun of it. Shust uso itshont- ly und say dot I did so well ash I could." Detroit Freo Press. CHUGWATER'S MISTAKE. How tho ttrowllng Old Gentlemun rut Ills Foot In It. Mr. Chugwator (growling)-Samantha, that young Snodgers comes to this houso altogether too often to suit mo. Mrs. Chugwator Ho's a docont, clvit sort of u young man. I havo no objec tions to his coming. Mr. Chugwator (raising his volco) Well, I havo! Ho may bo a good nvor- igo young man, but I toll you I don't want him about this houso! Mrs. Chugwator (placidly) I don't boo what business It Is of yours, Mr. Chug Mr. Chugwator (rising to his foot and bringing his list down on the table) You don't seo what business it is of mlno? Why, good heavens, madam! Ain't I tho head of this family? Mrs. Chugwator (mildly) I supposo you consider yoursolf suoh. Mr. Chugwator (In a toworlng rago) I certainly do, madam! And if I say that giggling simpleton of a Snodgors Isn't tho kind of a man I want for a son-in-law it goes, Mrs. Chugwator! It goes in this family! Mrs. Chugwutor (swootly) It won't go this time, .losiah. Mr. Chugwator (frantically and at tho top of his volco) You'll seo madaml Tell mo which ono of tho girls ho cornos to see! Deceivo mo if you daro, Mrs. Chugwator! Which is tho ono? Mrs. Chugwator (pleasantly) He comes to seo tho hired girl, .losiah. Mr. Chugwator takes a largo chow of plug tobacco and goes down-town with his hut pulled over his eyes.) Chicago Tribune, A Slip ot the Tongue. Mamma Why, Harry St. Clair. You naughty, naughty boy! I hoard you toll your llttlo brother just now, that you'd "knock him into tho middle of noxt week" if ho didn't sit ovor on tho sofa. What do guugo? Harry "ploaso slipped. you moan by using suoh lan I I or I meant sit over," but my Timo. to say tonguo 'YuBf'said tho dontlst, as ho yanked away at the tooth regardless of tho pa tiont'e yells, "a man Is bound to succeed at his work, provided it la dono with j bufQoloat palnfc" Iieuiat TvavalAb PUMPED BY ELECTRICITY. An KITrrttve Orgnn Motor Introduced ht Sovnrnl New York Churches. Not least nmong tho many uses which electricity now subservos is its adaptability through tho medium of motors to tho operating of church or gans. During tho Inst two or throo years experiment. havo been mado to this ond by tho various olectrlc light and electric motor companies, which havo finally resulted in tho perfecting of n machine which is fast revolution izing tho nntlquated methods of pro viding largo organs with a satisfactory motive power. Tho first church In tho country, nnd probably in tho world, to mako uso of this latest triumph of electrical scionco was St. Paul's, of this city, which for nearly n year has oporntcd its organ by means of n one-horso powor C nnd C motor, whero formerly four men wore required to do tho samo amount of work. Tho experiment has been watched with great interest by oleo tricinus, for its success meant the open ing of n largo nnd romunorativo Hold to manufacturers of electric motors. It has proved such a comploto succors that seven of tho largest church or gans in New York havo recently been similarly equipped. They nro St Patrick's Cathedral, tho Collegluto Ro formed Church, tho Madison Square Church, Trinity, St Thomas', Calvary and St. Ignatius'. Tho advantages of tho motor ovor other moans of pumping organ bollowa aro so many und ovldont that It is but tho question of a short timo boforo all churches within reach of tin olectrlo current will bo provided with tho labor saving appliance. Henceforth tho or ganist is independent of his bote noire, the human organ blower, or tho vaga ries of tho gas onglno. Ho now seats hlmsolf nt his instrument, Drosses a button within roach of his hand, and tho motor revolves, tho bellows rise and fall, and tho organ, obedient to his touch, gives forth its music in praiso of tho works of man ns woll ns of God. No longer Is ho In momontary droad that tho small boy, owing to tho sopor ific Inlhioncos of his playing, or to tho defective working of an antiquated en gine, will forco him, figuratively speak ing, to whistle for a broezo. Tho uso of tho wntor motor, tho cheapest of all known mothodsfor gen erating wind, was mado impossible in this city somo years sinco becauso of. tho enormous waste of wator which. It necessarily involved. Tho groat and insurmountable objections to tho gaa engine is that it has boon found impos sible, either to mlnlmlzo or ovorcomo the noise nnd tho greatoxponso involved both initial und constant Tho cost of the equipping an organ with an oloc trlc motor is loss than half that for tho simplest kind of gius onglno. Tho cost uf operating is also decidedly less. It is not more than ton dollars a month por horse powor, and as tho slzo of tho motor is increased tho relative cost per horso powor is diminished. Whore tho church is already tlttod with olec trlo light wiros tho oxpenso is, of' course, much roducod. Tho St. Thomas church organ, tho largost in tho city. Is easily and satisfactorily run by a mo tor of four-horso powor. The small space that tho motor occu pies, tho evenness of its blowing, the facility of its control In starting nnd stopping, ns woll ns in regulating, and tho llttlo attention roqulrod, nro the special advantagos olaimod for it ovor any other powor used for this purpose. It runs with practically no noise, is true from heat or odor, gives no trouble from frost in tho coldest weathor, nnd is always to bo dopondod upon to do what Is asked of it. If an organ u built for powor. Its attachment ia the work of a moment If built to bo run by hand, it can easily bo transformed into ono ready for powor. Regulation may bo otlected by varying tho speed of tho motor by tho movement of the hollows, or by using a constant speed inotor employing a mcohanlcal move ment to connect or disconnect tbu powor by shifting a bolt which is noted upon by tho rlso or fall of tho hollows Tho ouo in uso at St Paul's la an automatic motor conuocted to tho main driving pulley by a shifting bolt. Whor tho bellows rlso to a certain point this bolt Is mado to work on a Ioobo pulloy, thus disconnecting the motor from thu driving shaft Whon, howovor, tho bellows fall bolow this point (by thu uso of compressed air) the belt is mado to automatically shift on to tho tight pulloy, and tho motor again does its work. Another mothod of rogulation is by connecting tho motor itself with hollows to rogulato tho powor given out by tho motor. As tho bollowa riso tho speed of tho motor is reduced until they aro full; at that point tho motor is nt rest, and starts as tho bellows again falls. -N. Y. Timos. A Mississippi Ulrl's Revenge A young lady of Mississippi was visiting tho bluo-grnsB region of Ken tucky, and was entertained nt a dinner party at tho Governor's mansion. Dur ing tho courao of tho dinner a degener ate sou of tho Governor talked loosely about things in general, and among thom of a visit to Mississippi, remark ing that ho had not seen a pretty woman in his tour through tho Stato. Tho girl from Mississippi awaited hor opportunity, and during a lull In tho conversation turnod nnd asked tho Governor if what she had hoard of tho gontloiBon of Kentucky waa true. Tho Govornor wantod to know what it was, and tho attention of tho wbola company was directed to tho lady'n re sponso: "Woll," said sho, "I heard that Kentucky gontlemon oducate their horses and turn thoir sons out togmW 1 - San Fraucibco Argonaut. tie man?"