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About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 14, 1889)
GREEDY PORPOISES. They are as fuiinln? nt Monkry and a Mronc i s ViinWr. Latest advices from tlio south of Franco intimate that the porpoise is lording it in u most annoying fashion on the Mediterranean Hood. Your se:v swino is an aggravating beast, full f nilnnlnir ,,i,1 lil.llrl,it nt i ntnnttittil lt.. wl... ...... ,,u 1MUlll1.I.KIllllHH.1UjUni:, and ho is more than tho municipal council of St. Nazairo can any longer put up with. This, body has requested the French Minister of Marino to form f n Commission "to study tho physiology of porpoises," that by so doing it may bo discovered how to secure their ab sence from tho neighborhood of tho shore during the fishing season. 'I ho porpoise is an intrusive neighbor, and he will call at tho very moment when the inhabitants of St. Nazairo and other places have pressing engage ments of a different nature. Howover. though we may smile, it is really no laughing matter, and the Minister has taken up the question in all serious ness. Ho has appointed a committeo for the purpose of studying "la phy siologic des marsouins," and tho re port of the Chairman (Prof. K. Perrier) is in our hands. It will bo melancholy reading for the Council of St. Nazairo. It appears that it is an old complaint that the porpoises of the Mediterranean commit intolorablo'depredations. It appears that each generation of por poises is a little cleverer than its for bears; and, whoreastho porcine rascals used only to drivo tho fish into nots or shallow water, they now encourage them to bo caught, thatthoy may them selves feast on tho notted captives. Tho Department of Marino has often been asked to interfere, and as early as 18G5 tho commander of tho Mediter ranean fleet formed a schemo for tho destruction of porpoises, which was like one of the wolf-laws of tho middle ages. A fee of live francs was offered for every head of a porpoise, u sum iaised at hist to twenty-llvo francs. Special nots wero devised, aud the fishermen of Marseilles, Nurbonne and Port Vondres put their heads together to entrap their enemies. As a matter of fact they found it easy enough to cati-h tho porpoises, and plenty of fish as well. Hut hero eamo out original sin in tho wicked cetacean. The nets wero slyly drawn close; the porpoises meanwhile ato tho iish, their follow prisoners, until, just when tho space within tho net began to lessen seriously, with the inimitable grace of u flap of their ta'.l fins, they lightly sprang, like salmon, over the edge of the net and into th ocean. Tho fish ermen of Marseilles, Narbonuo aud Port Vend res, wild with rage at being fooled in this way, once more brought the conduct of the porpoises before the notice of tho Government. The Minister was shocked, but could suggest nothing. Three other com munes thereupon requested tho depart ment itself to undertake) tho chastise ment of tho porpoises. Thero was a long delav;but at length two gunboats tho Aveno in 1S83, and tho Albatross in 184. wero sent to punish tho sport ive pirates. They shot torpedoes among twin, and tired cannon galore. Tho result was melancholy in tho ex treme. A few porpoises wero killed, but not many; the majority lied out to deeper waters; but, alas! tho fish lied with them, so that it v. as moro than a week in each case beioro tho fishery could be recommenced. And when the fish camo back, like tho ghost in the laureate's poem, tho irrepressible por poises returned in their company. The now report is not moro encouragint than the former ones have been. It savs that the nornoteo is an animal "fort agile," and that tho uso of artil lery against him is worso than useless. It can only suggest in a melancholy way that "tho fishermen who complain of tho depredation of these cotaceans would do woll to unite in organizing porpoise hunts, or olno in forming a mutual msuranco against tho injuries they commit. Meanwhilo tho depart meat might continue to indemnify to a certain degree the proprietors of nets which have been injured in any "very nrenosterous degree." This is cold comfort, and is, in fact, another way of saying that nothing can bo done with beasts that aro as slippery aa trout, as cunning as monkeys, and as strong as ponies. Saturday lloviow Lesson In Pronunciation. Tho eorroct sound of tho vowel u is anions tho niceties of English pronun elation, but after all, it is not half so important as politeness, a fact which a certain small boy seoms to nave icr cotton. "Mr. Featherly," said Hobby at the. dlnnor table, "how do you pronounco d-o?' "Do, Hobby," roplied Mr. Feathorly indulgently. "How do you pronounco d-e-w?" "Du-u-e" und Mr. Feathorly put on a gonteol air for tho benefit of Hobby's older sister. "Woll, then, how would you pro nounce tho second day of tho week?" "Towsday, 1 think." "You're wrong." Wrong? How would you pronounce it, Hobby?" "Monday."-N. Y. Times. A Valuable Salesman. Juvenile customer" (doubtfully) Pic nfrald you haven't any ribbon of tin kind I want- Mamma said 1 must be .sure to ask for mouso color. Salesman (equal to tlio emergency, 'producing a bolt of fiery rod ribbon) -That's what this is crushed mouse color. How many yards? Cult-age Tribune. During a recent thunderstorm' nt Superior, Wis., lightning knocked the pipe out of a man's mouth, and dl charged a rltlo which was neur by. TRICKS IN PRICE-MARKS I A Shrewd CiMtnnier .Mar Sometime Learn the. Cot of tlio ioocl Offered. Recently a Wcstorn merchant came to a largo wholesalo cloth houso in Now York to buy goods. Ho wns known as a very shrowd and rather tricky morchant, who had a fondness for learning tho prices at tho various houses, and then trying to beat them down. Knowinir this, tho salesman who waited upon him put an extra price on every article that ho showed him. In no caso was 'tho prico mado so largo as to arouso suspicion. Tho buyer seemed very much disappointed, and his brow was knit in a way to show that he was very much puzzled over something. When ho had gono away the clerk turned to tho writer and observed: I think I have blocked that fellow's game very nicely. You saw what he was trying to do, didn't you?" Tlio writer admitted his ignorance. "Well," said tho clerk, "ho was try ing to discover our secret mark." s he spoko tho clerk pointed to a little tag attached to a piece of cloth in his hnnd, on which were inscribed three different letters. That mark." ho said, "means $2.50. If I had told him what it wns ho would havo very easi'y learned by comparing tlio various marks on different pieces of goods just what our mnrk was. For instance, if K.L.M. meant sr'-'.SO. ho would know that K. was 2, L. 5 and M. 0. Uv then inquiring tlio prices of va rious pieces of cloth ho could easily select thoso which would havo differ ent sets of letters on them, and ho would soon havo gotten nt the whole secret. I told him tho prico wns$2.G5. and according to that the K. was 2 and L. f and tho M. was 5. I also changed the interpretation of each mark, and the result was that if lie arrived at any conclusion it was a very wrong one. 'There is nothing particularly dis honorable about this, for merchants try it vory frequently, and as a rule they succeed in learning tho mark. Every business house has a private mark of this kind. Tlio ordinary buyer in tho retail houso would never, of course, learn this, but in wholesalo houses, where buyers frequently seo tho same characters, and can compare them, it is a matter of great difficulty to prevent their learning the firm's se cret. Where firms aro especially anx ious to avoid discovery they change tho marks frequently. A mark may bo a name, a combination of arbitrary figures or characters. Somo firms use the Greek alphabet. Somo uso the firm name changed slightly. "Tho most intricate marks are mado with what aro known as repeaters. That is, thero will be ono or moro characters, each of which is used sim ply to repeat the character immediate ly preceding it. "I remembor a caso vory similar to this you havo witnessed, whero a fol low from the West camo in. Our mark at that timo had two ropoaters. Ho recognized tho first ono very soon, but became completely mixed up when ho camo to tho second. He afterward acknowledged this and I mado him sot up'u bottlo of wine. Sometimes theso marks come in very handy, as in the present instance. Whenever wo get hold of a customor who is known to havo the habit of beating down prices wo simply put a fictitious value on the goods. "The mark always contains ten char ters, at least, and as many moro as thero aro repeaters. An arbitrary phraso such as 'John stands,' could bo used just as woll any thing olso. and is as little likely to bo discovored. J. II. S. would in that caso moan $135, or It might mean $1.35. Where it would bo dosirablo to represent tho figure 133, it would bo moro tho rulo to uso tho J. II. and u repeater than to write it J. II. H. "Among tho merchants in any ono city tho marks, unless frequently changed, aro soon known by tho differ ent salesmen. Retail houses frequent ly havo their rotail prices marked in plain figures, whilo tho cost is repre sented hi characters. Where this is tho cuss tho salesmen of ono retail houso soon learn tho cost mark of an other. Whilo this is frequently not desirable, tho main object with rotail houses is to kcop tho customer from learning tho cost. In tho largost re tail houses, whero thoro is only ono prico, the cost mark is seldom put on tho goods, and it is only whore it lies within tho discretion of tho salesman to reduco tho price that a cost mark is used." Hoston Globe. Christian for Revenue Only. Say that contnet with Sunday-schools and missionary societies does not im prove tho average Chinaman! Mis take, it doos. Thoro is a Methodist Episcopal Chineso Sunday-school on tho corner of Seventh avonuo and Twenty-third streot. Not far from it an enterprising Yung Wo nas started a laundry. Facing tho entrance to his shop hangs a largo motto framed in regulation style. It roads: ', Tho I'eace of the Lord Abide id ; ; Thl House. j Then bolow it hangs a big printed placard announcing that - Waihlng ti Done Hero for Church ; Merucom at KeUuccd Hate. : Yung Wo is probably, like so many of his countrymen, u Christian for rev enue only. N. Y. Graphic. A thief at Parkesburg, Pa., lutoly fimr mi u field of potatoes durlncr 'the night and carried them off. THE VANILLA PLANT. lion-One of the Mot IntereMlnc of Trot Icxl C.roTtln 1 Utilized. In flavoring our ico-creams and cakes, and tho various dishes that will receivo it, with vanilla, wo so dom re member that wo are turning to utility one of tho most interesting of tropical growths an orchid that grows as few other orchids do, by actual climbing, clamping itself along its way on serial roots, and which lias to bo fertilized by insects or else yield no fruit, except whon the fertilization is done by hand in an nrtltlcial process. Tho odor of tho vanilla, llko its llavor, lias an in terest of its own to thoso of a fanciful tone, for it bolonirs not to tho full tones of odor, so to spoak, as tho rose and tho honeysuckle may bo said to do, but to tho half-tones tho fiats and sharps sharing a part of that chro matic scalo in which tho orange, tho heliotrope, the lemon, aro to bo found. A curious thing about this samo va nilla, in relation to its uso as an ox tract, is that its cssontlal quality, that which gives it perfume and savor, vatilllino. can bo produced arti ficially from the sap of pines. Vanilla has n long and poet ical history In its uso in Spanish and Oriental cookery, in chocolates and dressings, and in various Mexican dishes, from before tho timo of tho Montezumas, and tho thought of it brings up tho sconce of many a repast with tho picturesque adjuncts between palace or monastery walls. It is not without significance in this connection thnt, .used in oxcess, it develops poi sonous qualities. It is obvious that tho first stop boyond the puro necessities in tho way of food is takon by adding a flavor to tho food, and such slmplo additions as tho roso and tho vanilla must havo preceded much costly cook ery and ransacking of seas and forests for novol and stimulating substances. Wo read in the tales of tho Thousand Nights and Ono Night of incossant marketing, flavoring, and feasting; but it is all made up of tho samo general lino of articles tlio lamb and tlio kid, rice, pomegranates and quinces; much of tho rest is in tho added llavors, and tho charm of tho cookery seems to bo moro in the llavors than in the food itself. Among tho varied extracts used now among oursolvcs in cookery most aro absolutely harmless, as tho lemon and tho orange and other fruit flavors; the genuine almond, peach, and nut flavors aro comparatively safe, but not altogether so; but tho vanilla, is to bo used with care. For, whether justly or not, tho vanilla has boan mado to bear tlio odium of various eases of poisoning by means of ices flavored with it. Hut used with dis crction and in small quantity, it is ono of tho choicest and most delicate ad ditions that wo havo to our sweetmeats and sauces, having not only a pleasant piquanev, but leaving a certain tonic and cleansing effect upon the palate. Harper s Bazar. SWITZERLAND IN WAR. Tho .llllltiir? Importance of tho I.lttlo Out rut Kiiropt-mi llupiihllc. Tho Italian General, Clemente Corto, writing to tlio Adriatieo of Venice, speaks as follows of tho part that Switzerland may havo to play in tho next war in Europe: "I firmly beliovo that tho Swiss army, or. moro proporly speaking the Swiss nation, must havo gained com pnratively in military power moro than other nations. This opinion is formed upon tho high national sontl ment that animates tlio Swiss people, their virile and patriotic education, their long traditional personal service, their training in tho use of tho rifle, and tho great confidence which tlioy have in thoir arms and in tho natural defenses of the country. In my opin ion, tho Swiss, if they aro united and compact, aro invulnorablo in tlio up per portion of their country. And it must not bo forgottou Mint in this por tion tlioy dominate tho Itliono, tho Hhlno aud tho Tessln. A Gorman army that would havo Switzerland with it could easily threaten Lyons and turn tho defensive wonts recently con structed by tho French parallel with tlio Vosgos. Hut, on tho other hand a French army that could count upon tho aid of tho Swiss would bo able from tho Lako Constance to turn all tho dofonsos of tho Germans on tho borders of tho llhlno and threnten the uppor valloy of the Danube. It could also fall upon Italy by tho routes o Simplon, St, Gothard and tho Grlsons "I have novor been able to compro bond tho badly-concealed monncos o Germany against tho Swiss neutrality because it seoms to mo that to attack tho Swiss in thoir own country const! tutcs a problem before which tho Gor man army might woll hesitate, partic ularly as a few weeks' resistance on the part of thoso mountaineers would bo sufficient to permit a trench army to como to their assistance. Now, the French army that would bo tho master of tho routes of Switzerland could, I my opinion, offer Insurmountable dlfll culties for oven tho triple iilllanco, It is truo that tho allies would have considerable forces. Hut could thoy act togother? And would not the groat numbor bo In Itself a difficulty when it would bo necessary to operate in a mountainous country whoso do fendors could tako advantago of the good roads of tho interior. "It is beyond a doubt that in the present state of Europe, with tho tripl alliance on tho ono hand and tho tacit or apparent union of Franco and Hub sia on tho other, tho military action o Switzerland must exercise a propon dorant Influence upon tho result of th war in caso the confederation should bo comnelod to abandon Its neutral ity." COMMON-SENSE MAXIMS Some Thing nf Which a VfUc .Man Should Neer lto Oil lit jr. Novor, unless you aro an export horseman, attempt to show off a spir ited animal boforo your friends, olso on may bo mado to kiss tho dust; for tho horse Is a sagacious brute, and soon discovers tho incapacity of his rider. Never indorse a promissory note. for when once "on tho ice," it is im possible to predict tho result. Never laugh at your own jokes, nt east until tho risibllty of tho company has been excited, when etiquette may lorhnps permit you to give a gentle guffaw by way of accompaniment. Never, in talking to your next neighbor, vociferate as if you wero hailing a ship at sea; it is tlio custom of uneducated boors, with whom you stand a chance of being classed. Never condemn your neighbor un heard, however many accusations which may bo preferred against him; every story lias two ways of being told, and just loo requires that you hall hear the defense as well as tho accusation; and remember that tho malignity of enemies mav place von n a similar predicament. Novor get into u passion because others will not agree with you in opin- on; you are not infallible, and, more over, diversity of opinion Is the very life and soul of conversation; at the samo time, wo confess that thoro aro some dogmatists who never speak 'rhyme nor reason," and who sadly ry tho temper. Never troublo others with tho recital of your misfortune: communications of this description aro very pleasing; and, at all events, sympathy can not coun teract mo decrees oi fate; and, more over. If your aro given to such dls closures, you will bo dubbed "knight of tho rueful countenanco" a person ago who is no favorite at con vi via meetings, or. indeed, anywhere. jNovor naruor animosity towards a friend for a mere hasty expression; lorgiveness is a gotuiKo quality, and a true friend is so scarce a commodity that no should not uo repudiated on slight grounds; but those who injure you from "malice prepense" should bo shunned as you would avoid a tiger. N. Y. Ledger. THE MEANEST MAN. Ho l.lwi In MustiO'lmsi'tU mid N Untitled to Kvery IIihIv'n Contempt. "You may think, possibly," writes an observant friend, "that you know all about tho meanest man. You may call to mind the classic case of tho thrifty powder inanufaetiiror in Now York Slate who, when his mill exploded and blow a numbor of his employes up into tho blue empyrean, charged the sur vivors for lost timo whilo thoy wore up in tho air. You may identify tho mean est man in the ono who. whon ho goes to church Sunday mornings (1 beliovo lie is still living and not far away), takes pains to wrap up a two-cent piece in a bit of paper and put it in his waist coat pookot, in order that, having vory poor eyesight, ho may not make a mis tako and get out a nickel when the contribution box comes around. Pos sibly you may imagine that tho mean est man was that other Yankeo who not only never gavo moro than a cent on taunday, nut sat in tlio rear pow in tho meeting houso in order to save the interest on his money while tho con tribution box was coining around. "nut tiicse, 1 fear, aro all moro or less traditional examples. Whoroas I, with my own oyes, havo seen the meanest man in Massachusetts. He comes in on the railroad from near suburb every morning. In tlio station thoro Is a box Into which pas songcrs, by request, frequently put tho nowspnpors that thoy havo done reading, for tho patients at tho bos pltals. Tho box has a cover which lifts up. Woll, I havo twice seen tills man, who is decontly dressed and up parontly in comfortable circumstances come and lift up tills cover aud, in stead of putting in a newspaper, tako ono out and carry it away with lilm If that is not tho meanest way to sup ply one's solf with reading matter that you over heard of, I would llko to havo you furnish me with an example." Hoston Transcript. How Musk Is Obtained. Most pooplo tako it for granted that because musk is sold in what is called a. pod, therefore it is a vegotablo prod uct. Hut the truth is that it is ontiroly an animal product, boing a substance found in a two or thrco inch sac in the body of tho little musk-deer of Ashu This sac. when tied up and dried, goes by tho name of a pod among the hunt ers who bring It Into market. Probif bly thoro aro few things subject to such adulteration, as ono part of puro musk will scout thousands or parts of some oilier powder mingled with it; aud as tho pods soli for from flfteon to twenty dollars apleeo tho adulteration has its profit- It is indeed so pungent that whon just fresh it has been known to produce violent bleeding at tho noso, and many pooplo aro so suscoptlblo to it as to havo sad headaches brough about by contact with tho puro article und while a suspicion or It Is vory agreeable to many porsons, ono atom too much becomes offensive, as the case Is with patchouli and many othorodor ous substances. It was formerly largo ly used in therapoutlcs, especially I the Orient, bavin become disused as much from tho difficulty of obtaining it in a puro stuto tut from any thing olso, and It is now seldom given except I hysteria and hiccough. Harper's Uu- zur. Thoro Is a groat dcul of poetry about poverty, uo doubt, but It takes tho poor man's woll-to-do neighbor discover it. Soinorvillo Journal. THE ARIZONA KICKER. fcvery-Day Happening of Kdlturlal I.lfe I In the Far West. Tho Inst Issue of tho Arizona Klckor . contnlns tho following: Pi.eask Exct'SK. In explanation of tho nbsonce of our agricultural depart ment this wcok, wo desiro to state that tho literary genius who has been prc- idlng over thnt department for tho last six weeks is off on a drunk this week. It is the prerogative of every man in this country to get drunk, it s a privilege which can't bo denied them with safety. This chap agreed not to go on n spreo oftonor than once a fortnight, but has been swizzled half his time. It is our third attempt to run an agricultural department, and It will be tlio hist. Tho space will horo aftor bo occupiod with recipes for bald ness, remedies for bow-leggedness, and short talks on tho diseases of mules and how to cure thorn. Wo can steal this stuff from our oxehungos and havo nothing to burden our mind. UU.K MOMi:. LMirillg tlio past W00K ' 1 X . . a mnjui- uv. minor, ,uugo regraiu anu f..l 11 I 1 11 , ' Hon. Tacony Jones, shining lights of this neighborhood and lending mem bers of society, have been called for by Eastern detectives and returned to thoir several homes towards sunrise to bo tried for various crimes. While wo are sorry to seo our population thus depleted, we know that justlco must bo done. The only wonder is that so few wero called for. Wo aro certain that at least twenty-live of our loading citizens break Into a cold sweat every timo a stranger strikos tho town. Hk (Jot. Wo wore deputized at a meeting hold in this office last Wed nesday night to wait on Turkey Hill and offer him ono hour to leave tho town. Turkey Is a llttlo too previous for this community in his way of hand ling a gun, and it was doomed best to glvo him a gontlo hint. Wo found him in tlio Gem saloon, offered him his choice botwoon tho highway to Tuscon mill a hangman's rope, nud ho took tho highway. Ho didn't tuko tho hour, but started as soon as he could got a glass of whisky and a cold rabbit sand wich. No Hhhatk. Wo deslro to stato in tlio most explicit manner that no ro- bato will be allowed to any of our sub scribers who may bo obliged to leavo town for tho benefit of the community. or wiio may Doming and mined lor t no samo reason. In several into instances friends of such subscribers havo called on us and asked to cafh up for tho un expired term, but wo havo invariably refused. Subscriptions to tho Klckor run for one year. Wo contract to do llvor the paper for that timo. If the subscriber is arrostcd, driven off or hung it is no fault of ours. Ploaso bear this in mind and savo yoursolves trouble. Hk Missi'.d. Our osteomod contem porary down tlio avonuo uiuiri uko tne way we showed him up last week, and on Monday ho borrowed a revolver from Sam Adams as longns his leg and lay in ninbush for us at tho cornor ol Apacho and Cactus nvonuos. As we appearod, on our way to tho post-office, ho opened fire, and six shots wero fired at us at a dlstnnco of no moro than ton foot. Not ono of them camo within u foot of us. but tho shooter did manage to wound a $200 mulo belonging to Low Hakor, and to kill a $50 dog bo longing to Judge Stokor. When he was through shooting wo knockod him down and hammered him until ho hol lered. Wo understand that ho has settled with tho others for $150 aud that ho thinks of leaving town. Ho'd hotter. If ho ovor had any standing horo he's lost It now for sure. A man who holdH a gun In both hands and shuts his eyes to sho t Is of no account In this district. Tho coyotos wouldn't ovon bark at him. Detroit Free Press. I Tho Shah and His Dentist. Ono of tlio mqst honored of the Shah's suito is tho Imperial dentist; nud M. Hybennot has probably soon moro of English high llfo than any porson of his calling, oxcopt, of course, Mr. Evans. In his second diary his Majosty frequently alludos to tho Per sian dontist-ln-ehiof, who is, I bollovo, a Swedo. Ono characteristic passage runs thus: "M. Chretien, also a dentist, Who was known to mo through having on my former voyngo amused himself with my tooth, camo somo days ago with Dr. Tholozan. Hybonnot had filled a hollow tooth of my loft uppor jaw, but tho filling had become looso, and Hybonnot could not got it out; but whon Chrotlon had worked at It for soma days it finally camo out. I. was vory glad, and am going to havo tho tooth filled anow." This was In 1878, but Hybon not has still charge of tho Imperial teeth. London World. i m A Leaky Stable Floor. Wo susncct it is truo that a furmcr can bettor ullord to havo a loaky roof on his barn than a leaky stable floor, A ton of tho solid oxcromonts of tho horse Is worth, for tho nitrogen, phos phoric acid and potash in them, $1.85 per ton, whilo tho liquids aro worth I3.CU por ton. In cattle tho solids aro worth olghty-slx cents per ton and liquids $J.H. Tho values aro based on the commercial value of nitrogen, phosphoric acid and potash In the mar ket. Notwithstanding theso truths, thousands tuko no pains to savo tho liquid thoy ovon contrive tho easiest way to wasto It but swoat profusely to got solid fertilizers upon tho soil, and deom themselves good farmers If thoy do that, whatever bocomos of tho liquids. Hoard's Dairyman. An antidote for tho elixir of llfo will prove a vory Important dlscovory If the victims continue to loom up at (ho present rate Hutchinson (Kan.) PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS. Many a man could buy his wlfo nnnv iilinr.tnn with thn mnnev ha ,t,ends for nonv brand v. Texas Stft- lings. An Uncertainty. Husband "What kind of enko is this, wife?" Wife "Why, my dear, can't you tolL mnrblo cako?" Husband "I thought It was either marblo or granite, I wasn't sure which." Omaha World. i Daughter "I don't Intend to marry. 1 Intend to study." Mother That's absurd. Tho men will think tho less of you in tho end if you know much." Daughter "O, mammal You always expect other men to bo llko papa." Timo. Father "William, you nro run ning up onormous debts around town. You must remember your uncle is not dead yet." His Uncle's Heir "Yes. but ho has discharged his doctors and i is undergoing treatment by a Chrls- , tlan Scientist." Life. "It's always a rellof to mo whon it Pnnifm ttmn to tmv off Hrldgct." said Mrs. Housokeep. "Why?" Inquired her husband. "Bemuse, that is tho only timo when 1 feel posltlvo thnt sho doesn't employ mo." Washington Capital. "Aw, Miss Hollo," said Gusdo Jay, "Do you know I've been thinking?" "Indeed?" "Ya-a-s; thinking of doing some work." "Then you bettor hurry up, or you will bo so tired thinking that you won't havo any strength loft to work with." Morchant Travelor. Two brothers named Hart woro nr rosted for buncoing a farmor. As the judge sontonced thorn to fivo years apiece ho said It called to his mind that touching passage "Two souls with but a singlo thought; two Harts that beat as one." Judge "Why aro tho stars hung so high?" asked Hollo, looking out of tho window upon tho star gemmed canopy of heaven. "So that tho class of '89," said his Undo George, who graduated in '73, "can walk around nt night with out knocking off its hats." Brooklyn Eagle. Mr. Algernon Nlbbs "Miss Grnco, I havo something very important to say to you, if your mind is wholly un prooceupied und recoptlvo." Miss Grace "1 assure you it Is, Mr. Nlbbs. 1 havo just been reading your articlo on 'Tho Elements of Culture,' and lliui U 1311 lJ (inilltU 1UUI, 111 1IIJ llUUUt Miss Yollowloaf "I can not under stand why you call Mr. Sholghman bashful. I talked with him ovor nn hour last evening and ho seemed per fectly at ease." Miss Flyppo "I'm siiro I never said ho was bashful. Ia fact I havo often henrd that lu tho society of old ladles ho was a most charming talker." Terro Hnuto Ex press. Hrown "1 am glad to seo you havo recovered from your recent attack of typhoid fovor." Smytho "Thanks, old man. You' ro very kind." Brown "What has been tho worst thing you hnd to contend with in connection with, your illness?" Smytho "Tho storioa 1 had to listen to from pooplo who havo hnd typhoid so much worso than I." America. JEWS IN JERUSALEM. Their Condition AVome Than That of Any or 1 heir ICaro the World Over. Tho Jews of Jerusalem havo many pnupors among thorn and thoir con dition Is worso than thatof any of thoir raco tho world ovor. Tho numbers who havo boon forced horo by persecu tion aro supported almost ontiroly by tho different Jewish churches ovor tho world and tho numbor of different de nominations of Jews and Christiana who are so supported lias mado Jeru salem a city of mondlcants. At cortaln hours of tho days bread Is given away at cortaln placos and tho pooplo como to theso In crowds. Tho Jows thom hoIvos in tho fewest of cases chango thoir religion, but tho difforont denom inations of bogging Christians movo about from church to church ns tho supplies rlso and fall, just as the bad. boy changes his Sunday-school accord ing to tho prospects of presonts at timo of Christmas. Such giving has mado Jerusalem tho hot-bed for tho propagation of boggars. and this Is true of other pooplo than tho Jows. Tim numbor of alms-takers among them has mado tho Jerusalem Jows, us a class, rogardless of thoir personal ap poaranco and thoy live In dirt and. squalor. I have visited a grout num ber of thoir houses; whole families live in one cave llko a room of tho sizo of a hall bedroom wllh no windows, and lighted only by the door at tho front; both wnlls und lloor aro of stono. There is llttlo furniture to speak of. Thoro is only a bed or two for tho grown pooplo aud tho rest of tho family must bunk on tho floor. The kitchen Is in most cusos a llttlo box just high onough for the woman of tho houso to stand upright in und not moro than throo foot wide nud four foot doop. At tho buck of this thoro is a rude stovo oL stono for the burning of charcoal, and somewhere In the catacombs, which mako up tho tenements of a scoro of families, thoro is a well, which is tho common property of all. On tho door posts of each dwelling, whothor it be of only ono room or moro, thoro Is. tacked a rollod up strip of whlto parch mont six Inches long on which Is writ ton tho name of Jehovah und tho ten coinmandmoiits, und ovory ono of theso Pulestlno Jows woara tho command ments tiod upon his arm under his. coat. Thoy havo In somo cases phy lacteries for thoir forohoads at timo ot worship and the most of thorn aro very devout. Thoy do not approvo of wear ing any othor than tho Jewish drew, and most Jows who como horo adopt tho dross which I havo doscrlbod. jG. Cnru-ntor. in Chicago Times.
