THE PACIFIC COAST.
THE MONTANA LOTTERY MANAGER
NON EST.
The CustUB Mori of Nevada City A Coal
OU Strike-Tho Lono Highway
man Doha Up Serenely la
California.
Dr. W. R. Gcnrliard, a noted physician
of Fresno, is dead.
The erection of Santa Ana's now Opera
House lias begun.
San Ilafacl lias voted to disincorporate
and extend the town limits.
A new ice company with plnnty of cap
ital haB been formed at Truckec.
A mutual building and loan association
is in successful ojHjratlon at Gilroy.
Verona Baldwin was arrested in Los
Angeles recently ho)elcssly insane.
The Kopublicans elected a majority of
the city olhcials voted for at Helena, M.
T., last week.
The people of New Mexico are pleased
with tlio selection of L. Bradford 1'rinco
to be Governor.
A no-stamp quartz mill iB being
erected in San Francisco Canon, twelve
miles above Nowhall.
The Montana Iron nnd Coa Company,
with a capital stock of $2,000,000, has
incorporated at Helena.
The force of jolicoincn in Sacremento
lias been increased from sixteen to twenty-five
men and a captain.
Constable Fra.er at Fresno, declares
positively that he will capturo the I'ixley
train robbers and murderers.
Ilev. Father Sullivan, pastor of St.
Francis Church of Sonoma, was severely
injured by being thrown from his buggy
recently.
Strawberry-growers near Watsonville
state that they will bo shipping berries
-within two weeks if the- clear weather
continues.
Mrs. lion Holladay, widow of the late
lien Holladay, is lying dangerously ill at
Portland, Or., and her death is momen
tarily expected.
Herman Eggcrs mistook, Maurice
Thompson, a friend, for a horso thief on
n ranch near Holbrook, A. T., last week
and shot him.
Thomas Crafts exhibited in lono last
week a magnillcent specimen of growing
wild oats, embracing some thirty stalks
four feet in length.
A well which was boingbored for water
three miles west of San Luis Obiso
struck a good flow of potrolum at a depth
of only twenty-three feet.
Two boys, seven and nine years old,
drifted out to sea at Cayucos Thursday in
a row bout and drifted ashore again at
Port Harford nuxt morning.
Tho daily stago sorvlco between Gilroy
nnd the Uilroy Hot Springs, which was
discontinued during the winter season,
will Ik resumed on Monday next.
The Atlantic and Pacific Road haslet
the contract for a largo hospital at Albu
querque, N. M., which will be ono of tho
imest oi its character in the West.
G. H. Smith and J. Marion Brooks of
Los Angeles publish communications
showing the illegality of the charter
under which 1is Angeles is now work
ing. Louis Schloss, a prominent real estate
man and insurance agent of San .lose,
lias, it is currently reported, left for parts
unknown, leaving many creditors.
Young prune trees am selling in Po
mona right along this season at 20, IT)
and even 30 cents. This is about HO per
cent more than t.liey sold for a year ago.
Fresno is to number its houses and
place tho names of tho streets at tlie cor
ners. After which a free postal delivery
system will be inaugurated, as promised
by the authoriti -s.
Fine horses are begining to make their
aj pearance in our district. Our farmers
are doing their best, and it is surprising
to see their success in this line. In an
other year or two wo will have as lino
stock as can bo found in tho state. lono
Valley lCcho.
Tho Southern Pacific Railroad Com
pany will mako 1110 wisneu-ior cut on
wood rate from Boulder Creek to San
Jose sometime this month, thus tormi
natiug a dillicultv which existed and
caused much bitterness among the him
ber men of San .lose.
Patrick McGuiro has been Wing for
coal on his ranch at Doshvillo, two miles
north of lone, Amaudor count v. lie
says prospects aru very good. He has
gone down forty feet and will continue
his explorations until the prospect has
been thoroughly tested. '
A quarry has recently been developed
in the neighborhood of lone which furn
ishes a good quality of sand-stone for
building purjKiscs, and an endeavor is
licing made to have it used in tho con
struction of the Preston School of Indus
try to be located in that valley.
Twelve young men, self-organized
Vhito Caps, or Moral Regulators, have
wen terrorizing some of tho people at
Nevada City. They are ulwn accused of
writing anonymous and scurrilous letters
The identity of the gang is secured ami
it is exacted arrests mil shortly follow.
In the vicinity of Santa Margarita is
wnat is claimed to ho tho largest prune
orchard in California, or in the world.
Its size is somewhere near three hundred
acres and Is in a very thrifty condition.
Prunes and olives have lceii found to do
remarkably well in this locality, as well
us many other fruits.
A. AiKirn of the Alxirn littery has
suddenly disappeared from Helena, M.
T., and It is wild with large huuih of
money obtained from tho lottery scheme.
There is a rumor in Helena that tho draw
ing will take place in J uly outside of Mon
tana, but great excitement exists among
the many who invested their money.
The stage from Murphys to Milton was
wopiH'U by u lono highwayman last week
idout seven miles from Angels. The
driver was ordered to deliver up Wells,
Fargo & Co.'s lnnc, which ho did, also thu
mail bag, both of which ho rifled. A
ery finiill amount was obtained from thu
rxpresH Ikix, Thero wcru live jKiHhen-
Ecru ulxwml, homo of whom wore ino
tl, i
I OVER THE STATES.
CYPHER DISPATCH RECEIVED
FROM BISMARCK.
Tho Cordial Relations Existing Between
Mexico and the United StatoB
Eloctlon of tho President by
tho Popular Vote.
Tho Illinois House has passed the
Valued Policy Insurance bill.
The annual report of the Silk Culture
Society lias been submitted. f
American lard will bo admitted into
Mexico subject to inspection.
The Sunday closing issuo was defeated
in the Denver election recently.
I). J. Burehott. of Kentucky, is to bo
Marshal for tho district of Kentucky.
John McCombj a millionaire of Dela
ware, has sued his wifo for a divorce
F. W. Wilkins killed his wifo's para
mour near Marshall, Texas, Thursday.
The Democrats have elected their en
tiro ticket at Chicago by 5,000 majority.
Mrs. Stonewall Jackson is said to have
been offered tho postolfieo at Richmond,
Va.
The report that Hilly Birch, tho veteran
minstrel is dead, is now declared to bo
false.
Senator Dolph has been mentioned as
a possible candidate for tho vacant Jus
ticeship. After Juno Princeton College will have
added to its Permanent Endowment
fund $230,00,.
A banker at Geneva has committed
suicide. 1 Io sufTered heavy losses in cop
per speculations.
Sir Julian Pauncefote, the English Min
ister to the United Ststes, will sail from
England on tho l.'ith inst.
The New York Assembly has ordered
to a third reading the hill repealing tho
Saturday half-holiday law.
Stops have been taken by tho Mexican
Government for the re-oxaniination and
sottlemont of tho La Abra and Weil
claims.
Tho will of the lato .Tustico Stanley
Mathews has been filed for probate All
his property is left to his widow and
children.
A negro burial ground at Camden, N.
J., is in such a shocking condition that
stray dogs are said to feast on tho bones
of corpses.
Miss Clara Sotten has recovered $15,
000 from O. R. Reed, proprietor of the
Hodman House, Now York, for breach
of promise.
Tho Emperor and Empress of Ger
many dined at the British Embassy re
cently. Representatives of other royal
families woro presont.
Tho steamer Wyanoko run down and
sunk the schooner Ruth Darling on" Del
aware Capo. Two seamen were drowned.
Tho fog was very thick.
A bnnquot will bo given at tho Hotel
MotrojKilo in London on May 2d, in
honor of Waller, tho retiring United
States Counsel-Genoral.
Eighteen thousand dollars havo al
ready been subscribed to tho Popular
I fund to erect a building for permanent
I Republican 'oudquartcrs at Now York.
Tho President has been asked to issue
a proclamation requesting public worship
in the churches on the centennial aiiiu
vorsary of Washington's inauguration.
Tho Florida Legislature recently ex
hibited a strong feeling in favor of choos
ing the President by a popular vote aud
doing away with tho Klectoral Collego.
Tho White Houso was a scene of beau
ty and brilliancy recently at tho recep
tion given to Prince and Princess Tuko
hito and tho members of the Japanese
party.
Three white men suspected of cattle
stealing, who failed to leave, the country,
were turned over by a vigilance commit
tee ol hpiingmiul, Nob., to Dakota In
dians. George Powell, who stole some jewelry
while dressed in tho garb of a priest, at
Toronto, Canada, confessed, and was
sent to Kingston penitentiary for live
years.
Tho Lower Houso of tho Pennsylvania
Legislature has passed a resolution de
claring Major Amies, who pulled the nose
of Governor Beaver the other day, "a
cowardly poltroon."
Sir George Baden Powell, who has just
returned to Montreal from a visit to Brit
ish Columbia, reports tho urgent neces
sity of properly fortifying tho British Co
luinbia Coast.
The Mexican Congress opened Monday.
Diaz, in his message, reviows the foreign
jKillcy of Mexico, and congratulates tlio
country on its excellent relations with
tlio United Suite.
Sir John Macdonald does not think the
Behring Sea proclamation was intended
to all'cct Canadian Interests; that it was
doneto warn Americans. Perhaps ho
will become better informed by and by.
The change in tho office of Treasurv
and Assistant Treasury in New York will
necessitate tno count oi all the nionevs
and securities in lioth olllces. This is" a
work of great magnitude and will take at
least four weeks to accomplish.
The Gorman Minister at Washington
received a cipher dispatch from Bismarck
which, it is stated, called for information
concerning tho American vessels sent to
Samoa aud of the condition of the Amer
ican Hoot including the cruisers building.
The Mexican Government has divided
that citizens of the United Slates can en
ter Mexican territory freo of restriction,
but subject to custom regulations as to
tho inspection of bairirairo and uoods.
This leaves tho way to Iiwur California
open.
The recent hurricane In tho South Pn.
clllc swept over 12.000 uoov'raphiral mile.
embniclng In its track the llervey and
Society Islands. Tho American hIiIm
Red Cross, liouiid from New South Wahs
to San Francihoo, was driven ashore at
Rurotongu aud wrecked. Tho crew wm
saved. Tho American ship Ada, Owen
muster, was wrecked at (Juam. The
crow waH saved. Tho wreckage form the
British ship Siiaklm, from New South
Wales for bun Francisco, was seen at
Aituakl. It lb tuipK)siHl that thu crew
parish!, ,
FOREIGN ITEMS.
THE PROP08ED BEAUTY SHOW
PARIS. FRANCE.
IN
The Tall Hat Evil In London Canada's
Future Doom Understanding Be
tween Germany and Great
Britain.
A case of leprosy has been discovered
in Dublin.
Guy Lassac, the French chemist, is to
have a monument.
Bernhardt is making a tour of Algeria
with great success.
The strikes in tho German provinces
are rapidly spreading.
Martel, head of tho great distillery at
Cognac, France, is dead.
Tho King of Greece is an enthusiastic
and successful fisherman.
A vigilance committee for Bridgo of.
Weir, Scotland, has been formed.
The Princo of Whales has accepted an
invitation to dine with Mrs. Mackay. ,
The British House of Commons has
voted 21 ,000.000 to increase the navy, j
Mr. and Mrs. Gladstone aro preparing
for the celebration of their golden wed
ding. A new theatre, to cost $7,000,000, is to
bo built on the Champ de Mars, St. Pe
tersburg. Charles Dickens' favorite Kentish
home at Gail's Hill, and where ho died,
is for sale.
riinli.m in riurinir in tlin Pliillirminp Th-
Uiolera is raging m the i niiiippii e is-
lands and yellow fever in Cuba and Rio
de Janeiro.
Tho Duke and Duchess of Marlborough
have taken a houso on Carlton terrace for
tho season.
A Portugurso anti-sliivary society has
been formed, with King Luis as Honor
ary President.
Deniston, Scotland, has the largest
bread factory. The little baker is disap
peanng in (.treat Britain.
M. Beaurepaire, Advocate-General, has
been appointed Protector-General of
France, displacing Bouchez.
Tho British record of foot ball for 188!)
bIiowb tho appalling number of eight
deatli and flvo serious injuries.
German ship-builders at Schwcrin, Tet
low, Stettin and other places, and Berlin
wood-workers, threaten to striko against
low wages.
Thero has been a noticeable exodus of
Russia student from Zurich sinco tho
discovery that bombs were being secretly
mado there.
Tho Russian newspapers have been
prohibited from publishing reports of tho
discovery of tho illicit manufacturing of
lombs at Zurich.
There is a powerful effort in India to
establish tho principal seat of Govern
ment at Simla, but tho Viceroy resolutely
opposes tho movement.
Herbert Bismarck declares his inter
views with Salisbury havo resulted in a
complete understanding between Gor
many and Great Britian.
A public debato has been arranged in
London for May, between Henry Georgo
and Samuel Smith, thoGladstoiiian mem
ber of Parliament from 1'linshiro.
A small leasehold property in Worces
tershire is announced for sale by auction,
held "for the risidue of a terui of 2,000
years created in tho year 1000.
It is stated tho Egyptian Government
will probably raise a now loan for irroga
tion works. Further movements in this
respect aro being carried out year by
year.
rho Chamber of Deputies last week
adopted a bill providing for tho distribu
tion ot tho sewerage of Paris on tho plain
of Acheres, near tho forest of Saint Ger
main. Countess Rodetzky, granddaughter of
the famous Field Marshal Rodetzky, com
mitted suicide at Vienna Monday, shoot
ing herself to avoid a critical surgical op
eration. Among Bismarck's visitors on his seventy-fourth
birthday was Emperor Wil-'
ham, who presented a mastiir to hmi to
replace the famous Roichshund. There
wore many distinguished visitors.
Tho St. Petersburg polico aro said to
havo discovered in the suburbs ot St.
. wi..n.,.K .... ....j.wiu.i ... -j
the al-
said tlio Czar is thoroughly alarmed.
"'.'"V? .'. v"."" "i
Tho tall femalo hat now so agitatas tho
minds of the male frequenters of the lxn
don nits that it is proposed that the pit
should bo divided like a Quaker meeting
houso tho men sitting on ono siilo and
tho women on tho other.
Ash Wednesday no longer interferes
with theatrical performances in Jxmdon.
Whereas all the theatres used to close on
that day, only two this year paid any
attention to it, and these merely an
nounced that they would keep open.
The statement of tho Panama railroad
for the year ending December 31st shows
the gross earnings to ho $l,(iU),t.0,an in
crease of $201,007. Ojorating expenses,
including interest charges. $2,540,114. a
decrease of $320,030, and not earnings
fi,Hu,oll, an increase ol $030,710.
Paris is to have a lienuty show where
tho Ilrst prUo will 1st $0,000, and tho pub
lie will bo invited to mako bets ujiou tho
inherent contestants. Leghorn recently
had such a show, hut tho exhibits were
so unsatlslactorv that the audience liroko
up the affair by hissing them oil' the stage.
Goldwin Smith has a 2-column letter
in the Ixmdoii 'limes declaring, with his
accustomed vigor, that Canada will bo
ruined unless she obtains commercial re
ciprocity with the United States, and that
the annexation feeling is growing rapidly
in the Dominion solclv because the reci
procity is denied.
From tho time her child was liorn Mrs
Roln'rt Horace Waholo, formerly Mitts
lionise Corbiu of New York, has lieen
very ill, mid her friends fear that she can
not recover. Since the scandal Iwtwiwm
hor husltaud and Miss Wicldman was e.x
iKised in court a few months ago she has
lieun very nervous aud in depressed spir
its, Mr. WalPoUi is heir to tho Earldom
of Oxford.
HOME AND FARM.
THE VALUE OF STRAWBERRIES VS,
WHEAT PER ACRE.
Tho Bost Grasses, Those Naturally
Adapted to the Soli The Odor of
Weeds Detected In Milk
Low Grade Fertilizers.
Tho old way of picking apples in a sack
is not the liest. A basket is preferable,
and a hook of some kind should bo fast
ened to the handle by a stout cord. Tho
hook would allow the basket to be hung
on limb often, giving the picker the use
of both hands.
Apple Folly. Two eggs, ono cup of
white sugar, three sour baked apples,
vanilla. Beat the whites of the eggs and
the sugar together, then add the inside of
the apples, which should lie roasted soft,
flavor with vanilla and beat this to a stitr
froth. Any kind of jelly can bo used in
stead of apples.
Mutton Steks, Fiued. Make a bat
ter of grated bread crumbs, milk and one
egg. Put into a shallow dish. Have some
mutton steaks cut from the loin, with
bone cut short. Have ready in a frying
pan hot butter or dripping. Dip each
steak twice in the batter, then fry them
brown and send to the table very hot.
An acre of land will produce five or six
times as many strawberries, in bushels,
as in wheat, and the prices usually ob
tained for strawberries are more than
three times as much as for wheat. One
acre of strawberries will bring as much
profit ap 'Ifteen acres of wheat, wiiilo the
' mnl Kr,"'"g Lllu miw nornes is iru-
i ,., .nr tl.nn M ,'f f
growing the wheat.
Tho better the preparation of the soil
the less seed will be required. Many
failures in the seed are not due so much
to the vitality in the seed as to the un
favorable condition of tho ground. It is
always a matter of chance germination
when seed is brcad-casted and left to be
; J'ovored by tho washing of the rain, and
tho harder and firmer the seed-bed the
greater the difficulty in securing a crop
from the seed. Pulverize the soil, har
row it down as fine as possible and then
brush tho seed in.
The best grasses are those naturally
adapted to the Boil. In America about
one dozen varieties are made specialties,
while in England the farmers select from
over ono hundred. A firm sod of native
grass should never be turned under to
mako room for some other kind until the
new grass has been tested on tho farm.
Soils vary, and grass that may thrive on
one farm may fail on another.
The rock on which many who enter tho
ranks as breeders of good stock split is
that of stinted feeding, says Professor
Cook, of tho Michigan Agricultural Col
lege. The Shropshire, Percheron, and
Shorthorn owe their excellence to the
fact that they can make good paying use
of a large amount of food. Unless they
havo the food to work upon, they fail of
their function, and their keeper fails of
his expected gains. It may be best to
half starve tho Jersey in his calfhood,
but surely it is ruinous to thus treat the
Shorthorn or Hereford. The breeder's
motto should bo: "Keep all those ani
mals in a thriftv, growing condition from
first to last." Unless wo intend and will
feed liberally wo had better keep the
i scrub. It was brought up to enjoy rough
ing it.
Tho intrinsic value of pure dissolved
bones is frequently made apparent as an
ingredient in low grade fertilizers. A few
hundred pounds are introduced in a for
mula mainly composed of cheap mate
rials, from the use of which surprisingly
good but very transitory results follow.
It is a leaven of dissolved bones which
has quickened the mass and given it the
only vitality really possessed. Impuri
ties and foreign matters akin in color and
weight to dissolved bones cannot be
mixed with them beyond the chances of
discovery any better than they could
with bono meal. Deception can no more
Ineffectually practiced with the partially
acidulated bono than with the raw bono.
Tho sulphuric acid employed in dis
solving has simply honey-combed the
particles in Hiich a state that the natural
action of the soil and the elements can
convert them immediately into plant
food. Bearing these facts well In mind,
and having the guarantee of the manu
facturer that the articlo is made of raw
bones, that pure sulphuric acid is em
ployed in dissolving; that it is not made
I wholly or in part of foreign matter, it is
I better for fanners to use strictly pure dis-
solved bones than to invest the same
amount of money in substances contain-
lesa puosnlionc acnl. It is unques-
tionaniv tno hotter policy to select a ler
tilizer that is reudv for immediate, action
1 1 i ,J:...v
iiiui uhu euiv iu tjivu it mu-iuiu .(mi kui
return, with an almost equal reserve
storo of rich ingredients for tho benefit
ol grass and hay crops.
ThO Uliral is nsked if it Will nav to
arrange pipes that will carry water from I
a tank
uueu wnn water uy a winii-
..ill! nn In f II
....... Dll IIS 111 nii I tWIkl'l iU( n 111 II 1
fruits. Tho Banio correspondent also
askB if tho pipes might not run under
ground with advantage. Wo aro unable .
to answer the questions, and wo doubt if f
aniody can answer them definitely
Even if sonio such system worked well
with one man and we believe thero is
one fruit grower who has adopted some
such system of irrigation he could
hardly say whether it would pay another
man or not. It is certainly very desira
ble to have wator for loth fruit and veg
etables. Not to havo it is to lose tho
crop in some cases. To have it artificial
ly supplied is to save tho crop very often.
We think there is no way for a"nylody
to settle tho question of profit, but" to sit
down and give the subject his wu close
study. In regard to furnishing the water
from pipes buried in the ground, thero
would unquestionably be sonio advan
tage over supplying it" to the surface. In
deed, it is tho proper way to do it, It
wonld require less water and the soil
would not be in danger of baking for in
stance. In that case, how-over, there
would need bo a subsoil, of course, of
Biich character as would prevent the
water from uoim: down to China as fast
as it came from the nines. lTmn a small
scale such irrigation might perhaps be
practiced to advantage, but when it
PillllOU tft II lilfifih uiMitu fii rl tint ltirtt
and if it can Iki made practical for fruit
and vegetables on a largo scale, then why
not defy drouth by extending tlio system
to all crops? It is an interesting suli
ioet .but its treatment must be lnnrulv
theoretical at presont.
PORTLAND MARKET.
AUSPICIOU8 OPENING OF THE
MON SEASON.
SAL
The Dull Condition of the Wheat Mar
ket Still Prevalls-A Slight Fall In
Sugars Announced Farm
Produce Active.
The principal feature of importandc
is the nresent activity in the salmon
industry, necessitating, as it will, an in
crease in freight traffic and the usual sup
plies for those engaged in this avocation
The wheat market, as heretofore report
ed, continues dull. In provisions the
suppy is equal to all demands, Eastern
meatfl, however, taking the lead. Ap
ples aro scarce and meet with a ready
sale, Butter firm, and in the matter of
poultry the market is all that could bo
desired.
OKOCE1UE8.
Sugars. Golden C OWc. extra C flc
cube, crushed and iowdered 7?c Coffee
Java 2oc, Rio 20c, Arbuckle's roasted
1'nOVIBIONB.
Oregon ham l'Ji:!c, breakfast ba
con 12 '?:, sides lO'Sc, shoulders ywO..c,
Kastem ham ISWifelU'.le, Sinclaire's B5
13ic, breakfast bacon BikOJlS'. sides
10c. shoulders )Sa ImtA 102
llc.
FKUITB
Navel oranges .4.2o4.7o, Riverside
$.1.003.''o. apples H-50, lemons fo.L'o per
box.
vf.qetahi.es.
Potatoes 30(ft:Vjc, onions 90$1.00.
DltlEI) K1IUITS.
Apples f0c, sliced Gc, apricots 13
14c, peaches 810c. pears 8c, Oregon
prunes, Italian, 8c, silver 7c, German ti
7c. plums 5(S7c. Raisins $2 per box",
California Iigs 8c, byrna 15c.
DAIKY PIIODUCK.
Butter, Oregon fancy 'Joe, medium 20c,
Eastern 22c, California 20c.
EGGS.
Eggs 15c.
rOUl.TKY.
Chickens .f().507, ducks $12.00 per
uoz., geese .fl012, turkeys lc pur lb.
WOOL.
Valley 18c, Eastern Oregon 815e.
HOPS.
Hops 1017c.
Wheat, Valley $1.33, Eastern $1.25
Oats 3u32o.
FI.OUK.
Standard $4.23, other brands $3.90.
FEED.
Hay $1314 per ton, bran $lo, shorts
$10, barley chop $242o, null chop $18.
FXESII MEATS
Beef, live. 4c, dressed 8c, mutton, live,
4c, dressed 8c, iambs $2.60 each, hogs Oc,
dressed (i7c, veal (i8c.
Whon a Pataironian husband kills
his wife, he is lined, says a Transnt-
latic papor, two goats. Goat-raising
is carried on in Patagonia to a largo ox
tent, It is stated that tho shoriffs of Dol
awaro whoso duty it is to flog criminals,
aro so merciful in applying tho lash
that tho punishment is littlo mora than
a farce.
Tlio peoplo in a Western town aro
complaining becau-o a local undertaker
displays his coilins on thosidowalk out
side his otllco, with prices attached just
liko tho furniture dealers.
Guns are now being mado so pow
erful that tho object which their mis
siles aro intended to striko will bo out
of sight. Consequently tho guns can
only bo directed by tho map.
Thoro has Peon no improvement in
tho shapo of tho umbrolla for tho last
sovonty years, and, it may bo added,
no improvement in tho manner of car
rying it. Tho nvorago porson protects
his toes and wots his heels.
A Todd County (Ivy.) couplo woro
recently married after having boon on
gaged a quarter of a century. During
twenty-two years of tho timo tho gen
tleman never onco missed calling to
soo his brido-olcct Sunday.
A gontloman in Craig County, Va.,
namoil Brickoy, has threo children
whoso names aro, respectively, Jailoy
Green Bird Mayllowor Brlckey, Oregon
Texas Georgiana Brickoy and Molina
Truxilla Eutaw Sobilla Tootator
Brickoy.
Whilo William Jackson, a Chicago
roofer was sliding down u roof a, dis
tanco of forty-five- foot, ho had timo to
toll a follow workman that ho owed
threo debts and had tho money in his
trunk in nnv lluim. Thmi lm rnnnliml
tho eavo and went to his death on tho
frozon earth.
A man who married a widow has
invented a dovico which euros her of
otornally praising her former husband,
Whenever sho begins to descant on his
noblo oualitios this ingenious No. 2
moroly says: "Poor dear man! Howl
wish ho hadn't died!" and tho lady im
mediately thinks of something elso to
talk about.
Not long ago n local ministerial as
sociation, at its regular mooting at ono
of tho Boston hotels, partook of a din
ner of eleven or twolvo courses, which
seemed altogether moro olaborato than
tho pr;lco agreod upon would warrant
After tho moal it transpired that thoy
had dtspoced of a dinner for u special
party lator in tho day, and by mistake
served to thom.
A host man asked at tho conclusion
of a marriage sorvlco in South Ken
sington what fees woro due, nnd re
ceived this stntomont: Vicar, 1 4s.;
chnucol fee, 1 Is.; clerk and sacris
tan, jL'1 Is.; organUt, '2 2s.; blower.
6s.; rod cloth, 1 lis.; total, 10 4
And tho vicar was not presont at that.
Tho Ixist man refused to pay it, and in
quiry rovoalod tho decision of a caso in
16GS which hold that a feo of tun shil
lings to tho rector and threo shillings
to tho cleric was unreasonably high.
AN UNDERTAKER'S CHAT.
The Funny Slile or nil Otliprn-Uo Uncanny
Mitl Lugubrious Calltnir.
"Thero is n humorous side oven to
so solemn n callina as ours," said a
city undertaker. "Peoplo rarely think
of this phnso of our work. Tho popu
lar notion was, and to u largo extent
is,-that our calling has something un
canny and growsomo about it. In n
certain sonso it lias, but still it is re
plete with funny incidents and you
will find fow undertakers who havo
been long in tho business who could
not relato queer experiences.
"To begin with, wo aro constantly
reminded in ono way or another that
v.o thrive on other people's misfor
tunes. As a matter of fact epidemics
aro a bono to us, for, whilo they mean
busy times, thoy also mean moro than
tho usual percentage of bad accounts.
Hut still it is hard to rid a certain
class of peoplo of tho notion that wo
weigh tho probabilities of mortality,
watch tho weather prognostications,
keep track of physicians1 visits, aro in
league, or at least in sympathy, with
quack doctors, bad plumbers and other
public nuisances, and tha' wo aro op
posed to improvements conducive to
public welfare. If scarlet fever, diph
theria, typhoid fever or any other con
tagious diseaso breaks out you will
hear people talking of tho under
taker's qulckenod interest just as
surely as you will hear plumbers
mentioned in connection with severe
weather. Wo really do hold nn anom
alous sort of position, but wo do not
as I havo often heard intimated keep
a list of tlio aged and consumptire,
nor do contagions quicken our busi
ness instincts.
"And right hero let mo point out tho
popular fallacy. It is genorally thought
that contagious diseases aro moro
prevalent and moro fatal among tho
poor than among those who havo com
forts and good sanitary surroundings.
A long business career in undertaking
has convinced mo that this is a mis
take. Tho poor aro moro liable to
such diseases only in tho ratio of their
larger families.
"Then tho common idea that be
reavement is a timo whon peculiarities
and hobbles aro laid aside is wrong.
Personal whims and idiosyncrasies min
gle in tho strangest way with tender
expressions of lovo and sorrow. Consia
orutions of stylo, too. ontor tho minds
of a largo percentage of mournors.
One thing is dono on tho basis of what
peoplo will think, another on tho basis
of what tho deceased would havo
liked, and so on. Few undertakers. I
think, would bo so callous as to mako
light of any expression or request
that is tho outcome of genuine feeling,
but nobody is more quick than wo to
detect tho gonuino from tho forced or
shammed. Whon wo aro supposed to
pleasantly inquiro after people's
health with an ulterior purposo in
mind, I don't know why wo shouldn't
havo a littlo merriment over tho hu
morous features of gravo work.
"So far as peoplo's follies and dofer
onco to fash 'on is concerned, it is a
good thing for tho undertaker that
thoy exist. Tho profits of our busi
ness would bo sadly interfered with if
tho masses were of moro conimon
sonso opinions and puritanic tastes. It
is tho non-essontial and, if you please,
tho abnormal features of burials that
givo undertakers, and especially the
manufacturers of undertakers' sun-
plies, their leverage ovor tho public.
Trusts a ul extortionate nricos would
practically bo out of tho question woro
it not that people sought to porpotuuto
lollies and carry stylo into tho grave
yard. Of courso it isn't our place to
dictate, and it would scarcely bo busi-
nossliko to mako suggestions against
our own interest, but still I think that
despite what has been dono in tho
way of funoral reform many moro
stops could profitably bo taken.
"Jhero is another phaso of our
business that has a peculiar if not a
positively humorous side. In pursu
ance of his work an undertaker will
almost certainly bocomo unnaturally
solemn or in a measuro a hypocrite. A
certain deportment is doomed re
quisite, and that doportmont isn't quite
natural. Words of condolenco aro in
order and expected, and thoy como.
As might bo expected thoy don't como
spontaneously but in a moro or less
perfunctory wny. Tho undertaker is
not as solemn as hu often looks. Ho
has on hand a fund of condolence and
a stock of well-approved phrases that
is often positively grotesque-, and upon
the way in which ho uses this stock in
trade ho soon learns doponds much of
his success." Chicago News.
An exchange asked if waltzing is
wicked. Somo waltzing is. When n
man steps on his partner's dainty littlo
foot ovory other second, does not keep
timo with tho music, attempts to hop
whilo his partner glidos, digs his hand
into tho middlo of hor back, involves
his extremities in such a maze of con
fusion that ho can't toll his right foot
from his loft, bumps his knees into
his companion, and collides with ovory
couplo that comos near him, it must
bo admitted that waltzing is wicked.
How fortunatoit is for s-omo men that
thoy aro not born quadrupMs. If
thoy havo so much dlfiiculty managing
two logs, how much moro fearful and
wonderful would tholr dancing bo
with four logs to absorb tholr attention.
Watorbury Republican.
m mi
It is now given out in Boston that
tho eromatlonlsts havo lost 15 per
cent, of tholr strength in tho last year,
and it is bolloved that anothor year or
two will finish thorn.
A Chicago man claims to bo living
on oight oonts a weok. Nothing Is
raid of the futhor-ln-law he is pr&iably
living on ulso.O-Butlulo Express