The Oregon scout., March 14, 1889, Image 6

THE OREGON SCOUT.
JONES A. CHANCEY,
Publishers
UNION, OREGON.
TRAVELING IN COMKOKT.
.Vntnnr HnyAced'A Trip from Pumpkin
Hollow, Kan., til Dotrnlt, Mich.
Tho old mnn had just arrived at hla
on's houno from the country.
"Well, tnthor." s.dd tho boy, "I hopo
you catno through in tho sleeping car,
us I told you to, and had a good night's
elccp."
Tho old man smiled a sickly, snrens
lie sm:io. "U, yes, ho said, "J hail a
good sloop, flrst-ruto sleep; went to bed
early."
"Did you wako up during tho night?"
"Only twicctj only wtmt to slcop
twicct."
"Say, father!" said tho young man,
"you'vo got two great bumps on top of
your forehead. What have you been
doing?"
"Thorn's tho two times I woko up
pased another train both timos, an
when I hcord tbo big cngino whizzin'
by an1 tho bell ringin' 1 thought 'twas a
lire an jumped up slam agin th coil in1.
Jt's lucky 1 was awako ono time,
though."
"Why, how so?"
"Tho high an' mighty importor that
Inughcd whan I nst to go to my room
early in tho ovonin' was sneakin' off
with my boots."
"Why ho was only going to shine
them for you."
"Oh, go 'way," said tho old man, "1
novor aat him to shino 'em. Any way,
I took 'om to bed with mo aftor that nr1
nover slop' another wink. Say, Henry,
you ain't got an old pair of suspenders,
hnvoyc?"
"I guess I can find a pair for you, yes."
"Busted mino tryln' to put my pan
tnloons on layin' down. Done It,
though, got all dressed layin' flat
boots, pantaloons, cout, collar, nooktie
hull business."
"Why didn't you got out of tho borth
to put on your collar and coat?"
"Wimmin in tho car. Got a handy
placo whoro I kin wash up, Henry?
Thero was a well o' water in tho caran'
I pumped some, but tho train was goin'
so fast I couldn't stand up to tho sink.
Say, Henry, what time's dinner ready?
I'm so hungry 1 bin eattn' my whis
kers." "Didn't you got breakfast in tho dining-car
as I told you to?"
"Oh, yos," said tbo old man, "Oh,
yos, but 1 didn't want to go it too ex
pensive, so I told tho feller I'd junt
Uiko a cup of colTooan' some buckwheat
pancakes."
"Pretty light breakfast, that's so,"
raid Henry.
"Yes," said tho old man, "light
breakfast; two pancakes."
"Well, come down stairs and wo'll fix
up something to oat right away. You
mustn't wait for dinner."
"Charged mo a dollar," continuod
tno out man. "f oiler sot next to mo
ontln' grapes an' oranges an' oysters an'
stewed chicken an' bllod eggs, an' I
don't know what all. When wo got
back in tho bedroom car 1 told him 1
calc'latod that breakfast ho ot cost $1.'!.
JVn' then ho told mo breakfast was a
dollar any way, w'otbor you ot much or
littlo. You'd oughtor wrote mo about
that. Henry."
"Well, fathor, a man can rido pretty
comfortably nowadays aftor ho gets
used to It," said Henry, as ho started to
load tho old gentleman to tho bath room
Jor a wash.
"Oyos, oyos, a man can rido all right
now, ropllod the old man, and tho
smile lasted until ho started to wash his
fuco from tho faucets over the bath tuK
Detroit Freo Press.
A Man to Be Pitied.
Having lost his wlfo when his onlv
child a littlo g.rl was about six years
old, Sandy Mcl'hcrson decided to ven
ture again on tho stormy son of matri
mony. His second wlfo was by no
means a success. Sho was very kind
to littlo Maggie, hut sho ruled her hus
band with a rod of iron. His club
know lnm no more, his lutoh-koy was
confiscated, his pipe tabooed, and his
life gonorally made wretched. Humors
of tho allured stato of things soon
spread abroad, and an old lady, moot
ing Maggie on her way for school,
kissed tho littlo mlto warmly, bought
horo a big poke of sweets, and said:
"1'ulr woo lassie, yo'vo only a stoj
mithor tbo noo; oh bit I'm goy sorry
for yo, dearie."
"Yo'ro no needln'," said Magglo,
solemnly, "but I'd like yo tao feel
awfu' sorry for nut pulr father."
Scottish American.
Improving n Proverb.
Tvo always admired proverbs, my
dear," Mr. Dusonberry said, as he
rubbed his chin In ncontomplatlvo way.
"Thoy nro chock full of significance.
Thoy nro laconic and logical. Now,
Sor Instance, thuro tsthosuylug, 'Straws
show which way tho wind blows.' What
Jould inoro tersely "
"Yes," interrupted Mrs. Dusenhorry,
with a twinkle In her starboard oya
"It you'd sift tho ashes every morning,
instead of lotting tno sift them, you'd
know more about tho direction of thu
-wind than all tho straws in creation
would show you."-Detroit Free Press.
It Is a curious thing In Now York
local polities that undertakers have
been singularly successful in that line
within thu last few years. Within tho
last throe years six undertakers have
been elected uldormeu iu Now York
City.
AMONG THE ZULUS
How tho Warrior Deeornted Themnelrei
nt n Nntlvn Feint.
A dozen magnificent long-horned
cattle were run Into tho krnnl and sov
oral stalwart warriors followed there
in, assegais in hand. Crowding the
cattle in a bunch up against tho wall,
each warrior singled out a victim and
with a mighty thrust plunged tho keen,
bright blade right into tho animal's
heart. Genorally speaking, tho one
swift, sure stroko win sutlleieut. But
in two or ihrco casus tho stricken ani
mal avoided tho death thrust and,
goaded to madness by tho (loop wound,
made mattors exceedingly lively for
tho Zulus for tho noxt minute, chasing
them frantically about tho kraal until
somo woll-hurled assegai brought them
to earth. Ono big steer, horned like n
Texan, kept his foot and fouglit until a
dozen assegai-blades wero buried in
his body, and in his blind rushing ho
knocked over a couplo of men and
ripped ono very bu'lly tip tho thigh
Tho whole affair was as exciting as a
Spanish bull-fight,
When thoy wero all killed tho crowd,
who had been enjoying tho fun from
tho kraal wall, hopped into tho arena
and assisted in tho work of skinning
and cutting up. As many as could get
around an animal assisted, and one
could scarco imagino a more barbarous
spectacle than a hordo of Zulus skin
ning and dissecting a dozen cows. Tho
blood was allowed to remain in the
flosh, and men, women, and children
wero seen packing off hugo pieces ol
rod, quivorlng flosh slung over tholr
shouldors, with tho blood trickling
down thoir sleek, dark skins to thoir
hools. Children besmeared their faeos
nnd bodies for fun and about each car
cass a group of tall, black warriors
hacked and slashed like tho savages
thoy wore.
While tho women boilod tho beof in
big iron kettles, obtained from Natal,
tho warriors engaged in a big danco.
You can novor qulto catch tho spirit of a
Zulu danco by moroly hearing it do
scribed, any moro than you can realize
tho oxhllaratlon of wlno without try
ing it. Tho warriors turned out about
throo hundred strong on this occasion,
and tho danco took plnco on a level bit
of ground outsido tho kraal. Tho
wholo community woro gathered inn
black mass, squatted in irregular ranks
on tho ground toseo tho dance.
After thobcovoshad all boon cut up.
tho warriors retired to thoir hut.
Then, vory shortly, thoy camo strag
gling out again, ono by ono, tho blood
washed off and tholr bodies decorated
with all tho gewgaws of war. Many
woro kilts of Zanzibar cat-tails; or tbo
tails of wolvos and foxos, and around
tholr calvos and blcops woro orna
ments of bead and leopard skin. On
each warrior's head was , discus of
black mimosa gum polished until it
looked liko a circlet of jot.
With ox-hido shields and bright as
segais thoy trooped into tho kraal un
til all woro assembled. Then, form
ing into rank as natural as a company
of grenadiers, thoy marched out on to
thodanolng-ground, singing a strange.
weird chant In noconipunimont to the
rattle- of assegai on shield and meas
ured tramp of feet.
One could soo at n glanco, now, that
ovory Zulu Is a warrior born. Hor
thoy woro, tho veriest savages to all
Intent, naked as animals, yet playing
soldlor with a bearing and precision of
movement that Kuropean troops, with
all tholr scientific training, could
hardly hopo to bouL Forward thoy
stopped, then filing off Into a semi
circle, two deep thoy stood, proud and
oroot, tho most splendid specimens ol
martial manhood I ever saw, tholr
black oyos glistening with suppressed
fire, tholr chests heaving and muscles
twitching In anticipation of tho signal
to begin. For a mlnuto thoy stood
there, ovory foot in tho erescont keep
ing tlmo, and ovory assegai softly tap
ping tlmo against tho shield to a low,
buzzing melody, -Huston Hullotln.
WOODCHUCK
BURROWS.
Kmlliii; In a Npni'loiiM Llvlng-Hooni
Foot from tlm Kiitrnnoe.
thirty
Many years ago, during my boyhood
days, which' woro mostly spent In
happy old Now England, I did my
sharo of both shooting and trapping
woodohueks, and oven help out u roast
ed one on an occasion. Hut I also did
moro than this, for several times I had
them as pots, and olosoly studied their
habits In naturo and in coiJJnomeiit,
Through some parts of tho Stato of
Connecticut it would bo hard to pick
out a clover field of any slzo that did
not have a woodchuck burrow iu somo
part of it. Sometimes they ohooso a
slto somewhere under tho stonu wall
which surrounds tho field; or If thero
is a largo rook, as Is often tho case,
anywhere about tho middle of tho
field tho animal will burrow under
this as a very oholco location.
Finally tho roots of an old applo or
other troo are often ehosen for Its
stronghold, tho burrow being dug
down among thuin, tho owner seeming
to possess u realizing souso that no
ono would over dream of attempting to
dislodge him from such quarters, Ah
Is tho case with tho excavations made
lor tholr habitations by moro fossorhd !
mammals, tho burrow of a woodehuuk
at first descends obliquely into tha ,
oarth, then passes nearly horizontally
for several feet, rises moderately for
tho last half of its length to terminate
iu qulto a spacious and round chamber,
which constitutes tho "living-room"
of tho entire family. In It tho fomalo
brings forth her litter, and tho young
remain there until they pair off and
dig their own homo elsewhuro.
Such a burrow may be at least thirty
foot in length so long that ono never
thinks of digging a woodchuck out
but 1 have seen farmers bring up two
or throe barrels of water on a cart and
drown the occupants of this subter
ranean establishment at short notice,
and rojoico most honrtlly if the pair,
and perhaps seven or eight quarter
grown young, nro caught at tho samo
limo. Very often I have captured
them in stool traps sot at tho mouth of
tho burrow, taking tho precaution to
sprinklo it all carefully over with
fino dirt. Ono old woodchuck. I ro
metnbor, constructed hisburrow almost
in the ccntor of a twenty-acro lot, nnd
every attempt to capturo him in any
kind of a trap utterly failed. It was
tho rarest thing in tho world to oven
catch lnm standing up at tho entranco
to his burrow during tho day. but fre
quently wo would see him just head
and shoulders out of It. It seems to
mo I must have fired thirty or forty
timos at him under such circumstances
from tho outer sldo of tho stono wall
which surrounded the field, and that,
too, with a heavy old fashioned muzzle-loading
Kentucky rillo, which at
j Boventy-fiyo to one hundred yards whs
good nearly every tlmo for small game.
Hut hero ovory shot failed; a cloud of
dust would puff up at tho very en
tranco of tho burrow each tlmo and I
would confidently walk over to pick
him out, but no, noxt day at noon ho
was thoro again, looking out as smil
ing as over. Ho was captured finally
by my tying a Colt's revolver to a
stout stuko driven down within a few
feot of tho burrow and training tho
aim down tho entrance and then
tying a long string to tho trigger I
waited bohind tho wall till ho again
showed himself, when the success of
tho dovico scaled his doom. Cor. For
est and Stream.
THE LIGHT-HOUSE.
A Decided Improvement on tint l'hnros of
tin1. Ancient MilrlunrH.
Tho "pharos" of tho ancient mariner
was a brightly-burning fire, sot upon
a hill or mounted on a towor, that it
might bo seen from afar. The firo was
the sailor's candle, tho tower his can
dlestick. No optical appliances wero
then used ' either to coneentrato tho
rays or to govern their direction. In
process of time the llama shrank In
slzo to that of a tallow candle, or of an
oil burner with a single circular wick,
but to atono for its diminution two do-
vicos woro omployed. First, tbo llamo
was placed in tbo focus of a parabolic
reflector, which gathered up tho rays
and sent them seaward in u parallel
beam; second, instead of a single llamo
a number of flames, amounting some
times to a score, woro fixed upon the
samo framo and caused to act together.
Closo at hand tho lights woro scon
separate, but to tho distant sailor thoy
blended together to a singlo light.
Thus reinforced by numbor and reflec
tion, tho oil lamps did excellent service
for a time; thoy, however, ov ntunlly
gave way boforo tho progressive genius
of Fresnol. Instond of conserving and
concentrating tho light by reflection
tho so-called catopric system Fresnol
governed tho rays, in tho main, by re
fraction tho so-called dioptric system.
Our coast lights divide themselves in
to fixed lights and revolving lights.
Tho apparatus for tho fixed lights
consists, first, of a circular glass
bolt or drum tho lenticular bolt
which, acting by rofraction
grasps about three-fourths of tho rays
omitted by tho lamp at Its center, and
sonds them forth In an unbroken lu
minous sheet to tho horizon. Abovo
tho bolt is mounted a dome of totally
reflecting prisms, which catch and
sond also to tho horizon tho rays
which would otherwise bo wasted
against tho sky. Holow tho bolt is a
second series of prisms, meant to catch
and send to tho horizon tho rays
which would otherwise impinge upon
tho earth or on the adjacent sea. I'ho
omission from tho lamp was thus
wholly utilized by Fresnol. In re
volving lights tho lenticular drum
is displaced by a series of lenses,
rondored light and handy by being
formed each of a central thin lens, sur
rounded by carefully worked zones of
tho proper curvature. Thoy nro called
"polyzonal" lenses, or perhaps moro
frequently, "annular" lenses. These
composite lenses nro fixed in square or
rectangular frames, and are usually
placed together so as to form a hox
agon or an octagon. They convert tho
impinging on them into vast Illiniums
spokes, which, as tho apparatus ro
tates, swoop over tho sea and period
ically Illuminate tho mariner. As in
the case of fixed lights, tho revolving
apparatus has also its top and bottom
prisms, which reinforce the lenses.
Tablets, statues, and stained glass
windows aro. for monumental purposes,
tho order of tho day. Hut I have often
thought that the noblest monument j
which wealth could erect to tho mem
ory of ephemeral man would bo a
light-house tower, surmounted by the '
majostlo first order apparatus of Fees-'
nol. Piof. Tyndall, iu Fortnightly
Hovlow.
m m
A hunter who was returning from
an expedition, and who had tired away
all his bullets, met a wolf iu tho path
and cried out: "Ah! but whoever had
such ill luck. If I only had u load in
my gun 1 could kill you!" "As to
that," replied tho wolf, as ho gently
scratched his left ear, "if I hadn't
known your gun to bo unloaded you i
would not bavo caught sight of mo." j
Moral: No man at an auction loses
any thing by not having his wallet
along."
"It's a shame, sir! I'll nover wrlto
another lino for your paper. Here
was my article bonded lu my copy
Suburbs and Environs.'" "Well?"
"Your compositor nmdo It rend 'Soajv
sudb and Andirons.' "Chicago Ledger.
THE FRAUDULENT PRESS.
Why lUUlin llottn Hitn I,nt III Upnpcnt far
Aiiiericnn .Totirimllmn.
An old follow called on tho mnnnger
of tho Western bureau of press clip
pings. "Look horo," said ho. "somo tlmo
nifj I hearn of your institution an'
thinkln' that it mout bo a good thing
I j'ined It."
"What Is your nanio?"
"Elisha W. Hotts."
"Yes, I remember, wo hnvo your
name."
"Yes. wall as I ain't honrn nothin'
from you I 'lowed that I mout have
misunderstood the workln's of your es
tablishment." "It is perfectly plain," tho manager
replied. "We look over several thou
sands of papers every day and when
over wo find any thing relating to a
subscriber wo clip it out and send it to
him."
"Hut you ain't sent mo nothin' yet."
"Let's see (turning to a book), you
live down in Southern Ind ana?"
"Yes."
"Aro you a prominent mnn down
thero?"
"Wall, I reckon I ortcr be. I run
fur jestieo of tho peaeo last year an'
wa'n't beat by moro than fifteen votes."
"Aro you much known in a business
way?"
"You air talkitl' to tho p'lnt. now.
Y- ar before last I was app'inted ad
ministrator for tho Widdor Benson's
estate. Knowed much! Why, I reckon
I am."
"Yes. so I seo, but the papors haven't
said any thing about you."
"How many of them air thero, any
way?" "Somo fifteen thousand in all, Ibo
llovo." "And not ono in all that numbor hns
said any thing about mo?"
"Not that I have boon able to dis
cover." "Wall, that's strange. Did you toll
any of 'em that I had j'ined this soey
ation?" "Oh, no; wo do nothing in that lino."
"Thon you don't inakotho press talk
about a follor?"
"No. wo can't do that."
"You say thoro aro somo fifteen
thousand of them?"
"Yes."
"And not ono of them has mentioned
mo?"
"Not one."
"Do you want to know what T think
about the press of this country? I'll
toll you. I think it is a blamed fraud.
I told my wifo that aftor I j'ined thU
thing sho could fill a scrap-book full of
things about me and her and tbo
children, an' not a lino hnvo wo got.
an' tho neighbors air droppin' in over'
once in a while waitin' to know what
tho newspapers have said about me.
Tho newspaper press of this country
is a blamed fraud, sir." Arkansaw
Traveler.
STORIES OF TENNYSON.
Tho I'oet I.llillt'iltti'H Well-Developed
niv
lllco of ruhllelty.
Lord Tennyson's disliko of publicity
Is well known, and many curious tales
could bo told of tho stiatagems used
in order to got a look at tho poet Lau
reate On ono occasion, when at
Freshwater, It came to his knowledge
that two men wero hiding behind trees
on either side of tho drive, presumably
to have a look at him when ho went
out for his usual walk. Lord Tenny
son at once seeing a chance of somo
fun, called In his gardonor, an old man.
Ho told him of the two men. and made
him put on his coat and wido-awako
hat. Then tho old man sallied forth
and made his way to tho drive, down
which ho walked as though deep in
meditation. Ho had not gone vory far
when ho heard a man's voice come
from behind, with a strong Yankee
twang, say: "Now I've seen Lord
Tennyson, I guess I'll go homo to
Ainurika."
Another good talo is told in connec
tion with tho Prinoo of Wales. Lord
then Mr. Alfred Tennyson on one
occasion, while walking in his grounds,
was informed that some enterprising
tourist was looking down on him from
a tree almost over his head. Tho en
thusiast was soon brought down from
his coign of vantage. The laureate,
however, secured a page loy to keep
off all such intruders in future, ho be
ing too short-sighted to notice them.
Soon after this youth had common ed
his duties It happened that tbo Prince
of Wales walked over from Osborne t&
soo Mr. Tennyson. Arriving at the
poet's house at Fresh" aler, he asked
tho boy whether Mr. Tennyson was in.
The boy, thinking ho smelt a rat, said:
"And what's that to you, If ho Is?"
"Tell him, said H. K. IL, "that tho
Prince of Wales wishes to soo him."
Tho knowing youth wherewith, not to
bo caught, said: "You don't take mo
to bo so green as that?" and to empha
size his remark ho "placed his linger
to his nose and spread his flngors out."
Tho Prince, however, had parleyed
sulllclently. so taking tho young hope
ful by thocollar ho placed htm aside,
and walked into tho house. Loudon
Star.
Ono of tho evidences of deterior
ation iu foreign silks which is most rec
ognised by the public Is tho difficulty
of obtaining a silk umbrella that has
lasting qualities. Tho rapidity with
which these articles split in tho fold
and resolve themselves into sticks and
rags has been of lato years quite
abnormal. Dry Goods Chronicle.
In digging for bait tho other day,
It Is related, a Californian unearthed
four dozen eurlously shaped spoons.
"Local antiquarians think that the
mound builders had some ice cream
parlors in thu vicinity."
ALPINE REPTILES.
Venomnm Snake to He Found In the
South. tii t'nrt of Switzerland.
The commonest and worst form of
venomous snakes in tho southern Alps
is ono of two forms of the viper. Both
aro frequent in many districts, but
generally ono predominates. Tho vl
por Is not a pleasant companion,
though ho doos not seem to be inten
tionally vicious. Ho is fond of lying
on banks of sand and shlnglo that face
tho south. Thero ho suns himself
luxuriously, nnd, If yu do not disturb
him. ho will not disturb you. Now
and then, however, he wanders into
tho woods and over tho meadows, In
search of lizards, field-mice, and "such
small deer." It is then that he be
comes dangerous, not out of puro
wickedness, but becauso the worm
that Is trodden upon will turn. Cows
and sheep browsing on the grass will
put one of their feet, qulto uncon
sciously, on a viper, or disturb him
with their muzzles when ho is only go
ing about his regular and lawful busi
ness, and as thoy hnvo no language In
which to beg his pardon, a sharp blto
follows either on tho legs or tho lips,
which involves a long and painful ill
ness, sometimes death. I ho country
people, who go about barefooted or in
tow wooden shoos, aro sometimes tho
victims of a similar accident.
Tho other snakes wh ch are common,
particularly tho long black adder, aro
perfectly harmless and pleasing in
their movements, both on tho earth
and in tho water. If you aro content to
watch instead of murdering them.
A lizard is not a snake; but, in
spito of tho naturalists, popu
lar fancy confounds them with
each other. A herder will tell you that
four-footed serpents sro to bo found
thero or thoro and ho keeps his cattlo
us far as possiblo from such places.
Tho largo greon lizard which abounds
in certain places, though it is not gen
erally distributed, has tho worst char
actor why, it is hard ' to say. It
would bo difficult to imagino a moro
lovely creature, and it has neither tho
will nor tho power to hurt any large
animal. When basking on tho stones
or darting over them it seems a living
jowel. Yet it is pitilessly slain by tho
peasants whenever an opportunity
offers.
As a certain compensation for tho
bad character they genorally bear, and
tho ill-treatment to which they nro ex
posed, popular imagination has invest
ed snakes with a numbor of supernatu
ral qualities. Somo of theso are moro
errors in natural history, which in the
last century woro common oven among
tho learned. Thus almost all game
keepers beliovo that tho vipor. if sud
denly disturbed, will swallow Its own
younir in order to protect them, and
some will even declaro that they have
seen this done, and describe tho wholo
process wtth tho utmost detail. Tho
viper titters a sharp sound, between
a hiss and a whistlo, and then
open her jaws to tho widest extent, tho
children creep in, head foremost, and
then sho glidos rapidly away Such
vipers, 4of course, belong to tho same
mythical region as tho swallows which
wind themselves by swift flying into a
ball, and then sink to tho bottom of a
lake, in tho way described by Dr.
Johnson in "Boswoll's Life." This
error is ensily explained. Several
snakes aro viviparous, and a rough
dissection of a female by an unpractised
hand might easily lead to tho belief
that tho young had sought rofuge in
tholr mothor's stomach. On the other
hand, though serpents nro not gener
ally affectionate parents, it may very
well bo that for tho first few days tho
mother may tako her brood to sun
themselves on tho shingle. In such a
ease sho would not venturo far from a
safe rofuge. Hor cry may really be
ono of warning, and hor open jaws a
threat to her enemy. Hor offspring
would under such circumstances find
it easy to conceal themselves among
tho stones. This is a mere theory;
but Dr. Johnson did not condescend to
explain how his swallows managed to
wind themselves Into a ball, and it is
difficult to imagine any means by
which thoy could have dono it. Lon
don Saturdav Hovlow.
A Mississippi Doctor's Error.
Two agents for a now kind of churn
camo to tlio house of Dr. L , of Pa
nola County, Miss., in the ovo dng and
woro Iuv.tod to spend tho night. While
ono was earing for tho horses, tho doc
tor conversing with tho other found
tho men were from a placo whoro ho
had practiced medicine in Ids youth.
Inquiring about different persons heat
length asked: "And tho Misses Hrown,
where aro they? They woro without
doubt the most ugly women I ever
saw."
"Yos," said tho agont.
"What became of them?"
"One Is my wifo."
Thoro was sllonco.
Tho doctor presently loft tho room.
Going to thu stable ho saw tho other
agent and made a confidant of him,
winding up with: "Well, they wore
uncommonly ugly women. Did you
over seo them?"
"Yos."
And ho had married tho other.
Dr. L olalms that this is tho only
break ho over made In entertaining
stranger. Detroit Froo Press.
Teacher "Tommy may toll us
what shape tho world is." Tommy
"It Is round." Teaohor "How do
you know it is round?" Tommy
"'Causo you told mo yourself."
Teaohor "Yes, but my tolling you
tho world was round doesn't make it
round. How do I know it's round''"
Tommy " I s'poao somebody told
you." Harper' Bazar.
ORIGIN OF WORDS.
Many In Common n Which Camo Di
rectly From tho Orile.
Many of tho English words of the
last century como from tho Gypsies.
This kidnap comes from tho napping
or stealing of a kid, Gypsy for child.
When wo talk, therefore, of kidnap
ping an old gentleman for his monoy
wo mistake tho etymology of tho word,
unless ho Is In his second childhood.
Ono sometimes travels so far to find
out tho meaning of a word. No ono
thinks ho is speaking Italian when ho
says ho "has made a "fiasco." Yet it
is the Italian for fl'tak. Why does it
mean failure then? Because tho glass
blowers of Murano, trying to miko a.
piece of window or mirror glass, and
falling in tho attempt, merely blow or
made a common llask, a "fiasco," with
the bit of glass. So with fresco, which
simply means fresh. Tho paint must
bo put on for a fresco when tho lime is
fresh. Fresco painting is fresh paint
ing Tho common slang word "msi'-h'' Is
from tbo beautiful Gypsy word m-i-fndo,
which means "to charm with tha
eye." These vagabonds by tho way
side aro responsible for much beauty
as well as dirt. The word loafer comes
from tho German "land laufer." n
vagabond and unsettled roiimer over
tho country.
Tho word boss comes from tbo Io.v
Dutch. The word boss menus master.
A "rum chap" is simply a Gypsy
lad; It has no relation to tho product
of tho still.
Tho far-famed bovorago which in
ebriates moro frequently than it
cheors has not to answer to tho phnso,
"bo's a nan un to look at." It simply
means ho Is a manly man. Certainly it
is not by literary dignity that wo hnvo
to measure language in these days,
and yot it is curious how many slang
terms aro from tho most classic of
sources. To "nigg at whist" means to
reniqg, that is Saxon for deny. Pal Is
a brother, and "conk" for noso comes
from the spouting fountain, tho concha
of tho Humans. "Powwow" comes
from the Indians. It is curious wo
Americans hnvo no moro of this he
reditary language of tho red Indian
tribes.
A few years ago a wit declared that
his antagonist was not " worth a.
tiller's execution." which was thought
very funny until somo other wit ex
claimed, "What Is a tinker's dam)" It
has nothing to do with swearing. It
is merely the dam or stoppago made of
Hour and wator, with which the tinker
stops tho gap ho is mending, until tho
tin or tho pewter has cooled. When
his bread pill is thrown away it is a.
very worthless piece of dough. Henco
its namo and fume. It passed into it
proverb for worthlessnoss. It is much
harder to traeo tho origin of a proverb,
or to find out a quotation, than to
follow up a word, because both am
frequently quoted wrong. For in
stance, tbo "goose hangs high," is en
tirely wrong. It should bo, "For
ovory thing is lovely and tho gooso
whangs high;" meaning if tho geeso
flying south utter their peculiar
"whang," then tho weathor is sure to
bo lino. Mrs. Shorwood's Lotter.
TO CURE BALDNESS.
V Course of Trent incut Snuctioiied hy tho
.McNeill Fratcriiit3'.
A fow words anent ono of tho most
common forms of skin disease among
us. Baldness is so widely spread, and
so universal among us. that It Is quite
fushtonablo. Nevertheless i shall give
a couplo of recipes for that form that
is accompanied by falling of dandruff,
which is technically known as dry
seborrhea of tho scalp, in nine-tenths
of theso eases a euro is possiblo, that
is. hair may bo restored if sufficient
patience is allotted with other treat
ment. Owing to barbers' failure to
give back to a man his hair, a general
impression exists that it is no uo U
try; once bald, always bald.
This is scarcely ever truo of se
borrhea, not in fifty per cent, of case
from othor causes, and whosoever wllL
try those recipes will bo convinced of
their efficacy.
For a week, at tho outset of treat
ment, the scalp is to bo thoroughly
washed with a roliublo tar soap, such
as any apothecary soils, drying tho
hair thoroughly, but not rinsing out
tho tar. If hair has vanished let tho
lather dry upon baro spots. Then be
gin with a wash composed of resorein
pure, one dram; castor-oil, one-half
ounce; bay rum, seven and one-half
ounces. Mix.
This Is to bo applied morning and
night, and woll rubbed in. After two
weeks of lotion, have tho following
pomade prepared, and rub into scalp
and hair a portion the size of a hazel
nut ovory morning: Salicylic acid,
ten grains; ammoniated murcury, fivo
grains; cold cream, ono ounce. Mix.
After ono week's careful attention to
this treatmont, tho bald spots will he
covored with a fino, thick, silky growth,
that Is forerunner to a crop worth
having. Try it. Dr. Hutchison, in
American Magazine.
Funny at the Wrong Time.
"Canyon toll mo," Inquired tho nnx-ious-looklng
man of tho bank cnahior,
"If thoro is any way of disposing of
plugged nickels?"
"Certainly," ropllod tho cashier, fa
cetiously. "You can drop them Into
tho contribution box at ohuroh. Any
deacon will tako thorn. Ho can't woll
hoi) himself."
"Yes, sir," said tho anxious-looking
man. "I know that. I'm a churoh
Juauon. I have half a bushel of them
I would like to dispose of." Chicago
Tribune.
Strango to say, a man keopa Into
hours when ho spends them outside.
Boston Courier.