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About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 21, 1888)
Jt tes FLANKING "LITTLE PHIL.' THE MAN WHO CAME NEAR SPOIL ING SHERIDAN'S RIDE Tells tlio Confederate Sldo of tlie I'm no in Double Iliittlcflcld of Cedar Creek Gen. John II. Gordon Throws New Light on the Subject. From tho following statement It appears that bad tho buttle been carried on according l to Gen. Gordon's plan, oven Sheridan himself Vcould not have saved the day, though "he rode from Winchester, twenty miles away." Geu. Gordon has still tho look of a warrior who could provo an ugly enemy on tho bat tlefield, though this chat with him in the Gettysburg hotel demonstrated his affability and winning qualities whan recount bis to a former foo tho strange chain of events of that wonderful day on tho sinuous banks of Cedar creek. The old rebel leader was seated at table between Gen. Daniel 12. Sickles and Gen. Hunt, tho well known chief of artillery of tho Army of the I'otomac. Responding to the salutation of The Herald representative. Gen. Gordon opened tho way atoBce for con versation. "General, I am told that the splendid bit of strategy by which wo were surprised on tffe morning of the 19th of October is to bo wholly credited to you?'' "Yes, tho plan was mine wholly, and so was the conduct of the light up to a certain point. "For tho time being we wono ne of the great victories of the war. Every detail of tho movement was carefully planned, and for twelve hours It was supremely successful. I had gone tho day before, Oct. IS, to the top of wliut is culled Mossanutten mountain, where wo had a signal corps stationed, and had taken observation through tho Held glasses. Thero wa3 a maguiilcent bird's eyo view. Tho Shenandoah was the silver bar between us. On tho opposite side of tho river I could distinctly see tho red cuffs of tho artillerists. Why, I had so good a view that I could seo the soro spots on the horses' backs in your camp. In front of the Bcllo Grove mansion I could seo members of Sheridan's stalf coming and going. I could not imagine i better opportunity for making out an ene my's position and strength. I could even :ount tho men who wero thero. Tho camp was splendidly exposed to me. I marked the position of tho guns and tho pickets walking to and fro, and observed whore the cavalry was plueed. "It flashed upon me instantly that tho ex lectation of Gen. Sheridan was that we would attack him on his right, which was ;ho only place supposed possible for tho ad vance of any nrmy. His left was protected by the Shenandoah; at this point tho nioiui ;ain was very precipitous, and the river ran iround it. Thero'was no road nt all, and tho ooint was guarded only by a mere cavalry Meket. I suw our opportunity in an instant, ind I told tho officers present that if Gen. firly would ermit mo to move my corps (I .vasthen commanding E well's corps) down to :his point 1 could get around the mountain. Both sides believed this was impossible, but I .'elt sure that it could bo done. My plan was ;o dismount our cavalry, attack Sheridan's javalry when dismounted, and keep them "roin moving. I knew that if we could do ;his wo would gain a great victory." GEN. GOHDOX'S TLAX "What were the details of your plan!" "Thero was a back road running from our position on Fisher's hill to tho Federal right, ivhere tho cavalry was posted. I oxpected to deceive the Federals by Lomax's attack. Ic would bo dark still, and they could not dis .inguish our dismounted cavalry from in fantry, and would beliovo that our main ittack was thero on their right. This would .eave us free to operate around their loft." "How did Gen. Early receive your pro posal f "Tho plan was submitted, talked over, nnd '1:ially substantially agreed upon. I took aiy command, bavin-- ordered them to leave ;heir canteens, salx s and everything that xmld mako a noiso Ljhind. I knew that our only dependence was in absolute secrecy and in a complete surprise. After inspecting ;hings with my stall' I found I could get my nen around tho mountain by putting them ii singlo file. I discovered still another place where tho horses could be led, although ;ho venturo would bo exceedingly dangerous. Still, tho expedition was essentially ono of jreat peril, and mora or less danger was of ittlo consequence." "How is it that tho Union scouts had never liscovered this possibility of turning tho left it Cedar creek?" "Well, sharp men.oftcn leave a loophole in ir&r, and, besides, Sheridan did not depend y shutting up this possible path, I suppose," replied Gen. Gordon. "You must remember, general, that Sheri lan had issued orders which, had they been obeyed by tho officer eonii'ianding in his nb ience, would have rendered your surprise im possible." "But taking things as they were, tho sur prise was not only possible but actual, and ive did what none of your people for a mo jient dreamed of as possible. Early in tho light I began to movo my men around tho Mountain. My object was to have them ill ready for an attack before daylight in tho morning. Tho movement took all aight. All through tho hours of dark less tho silent flgures moved to their position near the sleeping enemy. An entire srigade of cavalry was moved in this way, md reached tho point in about one and a half lours in advauco of tho men. I instructed tho cavalry that ns soon as I got ready to novo thoy were to proceed in my front, rush icross tho river, open on tho cavalry pickets, md capture them, if possible. If they could aot do this, they wero to put their horses to full speed, rido right through tho federal amp, firing their pistols to tho right and to tho left as they passed through, anil niako iirectly for Sheridan's headquarters and cap ;uro him. At that time I did not kuow that Sheridan was absent and Wright in com mand. I had selected his house from tho Hags hich lloated from it, and tho couriers who wero constantly going in and out. TIinOUOH THE FEDERAL CAMI. "My orders wero: 'Go right through tho Federal camp with your command before laylight and right to Geu. Sheridan's head quarters. Capture hitnl' I told them not to :ry to tako any prisoners, not to mind any thing, but every mounted man was to press rtraight toward Belle Grovo. Wo, with tho infautry, would tako caro of what wai be hind. I knew very well that tho little fight ing or capturing they could do would bo of little account compared with thopriM they tvero expected to get." "Was thero not danger of a prematura snwtat soma point!" "Before the movement begau vo had com rivd watches so that the uttack might be nultancous." "Were the first actual demonstrations in ic riauco with your plan I" 1 erfeetly, so far as tht reul atUck on the n, !jt was oonooruad. On ttw moruum of tho l.i.u, ju-t about iteyMjtit, vn 11 ml thmor i ,r lioUu Awy the Ftdrul picket wnt ,-u Kur oavalry urtsmie aft theui. I x;hJ 9TOi. vJni2 ttw r.e, with y whole corps of Infantry. Wo went with a rush and doublo quick. Beforo starting I had selected tho house on tho road at which tho head of my column should stop. It Was a white house nt tho turn of the road, fhrtl;r down toward tho river, and was on tho flank of tho enemy's lino. As soon as I got thero 1 was in position, and I had nothing to do but to closa up in front and move. Dash ing forward with ono brigade, we plunged Into tho enemy's camp and found the men asleep. Many of them never nwoko In this world. Wo went right through them aad shot every ono in flight. Tho cavalry had reached the headquarters, and Gen. Wright barely escaped, leaving his pa pen behind him, and they foil into our hands. We killed nnd wounded between 7,000 and S.000 of tho panic stricken and bewildered Federals and broke two corps entirely to pieces. The loss in my command wns only about 200. By sunrise we occupied tho breastworks. The enemy's cavalry was forced to retreat before Ilosssr, although superior to him in numbers. Wo did not press our advance. Tho enemy still had the Sixth coqis In reserve, but we drove it back and captured a few of its pieces. That was tho battle of Cedar Creek, and it was a complete victory." POSITION OK DOTH ARMIES. "You say you had gained a complete vic tory. What was the position of the two armies then?'' "The Eighth corps was scattered to tho winds, tho Nineteenth corps, after hard fighting, was routed and driven entirely out of their works, and we had jtossession of tho entire Federal position except a part of that held by the Sixth eorp. Tin's corps hud tiled out by the left toward tho pike, and wo had driven thuni back and forced them to a ridgo just west of Middletown. Wo had the piko away along up to tho edge of Middletown, ami our iosltion was admirable every way." "What was tho real cause of tho halt in your progress?" "I w ill tell you, and thero has been a great deal of misunderstanding on this point. I saw that the enemy had a strong position, but that it wits the last one thoy could hold. Wo had one of tho finest positions for posting artillery I over saw. You know the spot right on the highest point of tho pike south of Middletown, and east nnd above Sheri dau's headquarters. I called for Col. Carter, tho chief of artillery, and wanted thirty guns planted right thero, nnd wo would have bat tered that Federal line all to pieces, demoral ized an already beaten nrmy, and sent it in utter panic down the valley." "Why didn't you get your guns to work on us?" "Ye3, there's tho rub. Wo did get a few enough to break the lino but horo comes the lamentable feature of that day's business. You know Early says that tho final defeat was caused by the demoralization of his own men in plundering tho Federal camp and iu gorging on sutlers' supplies there captured." "That is the popular belief." "Well, there isn't a word of truth in it. Ihcro never was less straggling or plunder ing among any troops thau thero was In our army that morning. I had them well in hand, and had issued tho strictest orders that any soldier falling out for plunder should bo shot instantly. That wholo statement is false. Tho real troublo was here. I was makiug every effort to get a mass of artillery iu position when Gen. Early rodo up. Ho was wild with joy. I oxclaimed, 'Gen. Early, givo me thirty pieces of artillery right hero aud wo will destroy that army and send Its fragments over the Potomac.' I know that tho supremo moment had come." GEN. EARLY'S ELATIOJf. "What was Early's view of tho situation ?'' " 'No, no,' said ho. 'Wo'vo won a great victory; wo'vo done enough for ono day; we will stop hsre.' 'But,' said I, 'let us finish tho job. It is true wo havo won a groat vic tory; let us completo it Wo can do it in an hour, and so destroy that army that it will never show its head in tho valley again.' But Gen. Early said no; that tho men had scon fighting enough, nnd that wo had won glory enough for ono day. 'Very well, sir,' I replied; 'then I will return to my com mand.' Until then I had had chargo of tho entiro movement on tho right. 1 did return to my corps, and Early carried on tho bat tle. Wo followed up tho Federals as they retreated. Our men were too much elated with their victory." To tho question as to Early's personal con dition that morning Gen. Gordon gave no reply. "How did tho battle change?" "Everybody kuows about how Sheridan reached tho field in-the nick of time, aud how ho came thundering down from Winches ter. Ho found his men scattered along the road iu terror stricken confusion, nnd he compelled them to turn about aud follow him. Ho was a fury on horseback, dashing hero nnd there among tho flying soldiers and beating them back to the Hold of death which they had quitted. Meanwhile, tho men who wero retreating from tho front had been brought to somo sort of order. Then fol lowed ono of tho most extraordinary revers als in the history of any war. As soon as Sbori'dan reached tho field ho reformed his line aud practiced upon us precisely tho same movement which had demoralized his own forces in tho morning. Ho just moved around our flank, swept down it and whipped us out of existence. Ho broko our lino all to frag ments and routed tho whole army absolutely. It was as thorough a defeat as I evor saw. Tho day had dawned upon victory nnd ex ultation. It closed upon utter disaster and dejection. Two distinct battles had been fought, and iu the last wo lost all that wo had gained iu the first ono and nil that we had before. Tho reaction was dramatic in its suddeness and completeness, and when wo left tho field that evening tho Confederacy had retired from tho Shenandoah. It was our last fight in tho valley." Boston Herald Interview. Tho Illta of u IlluefUh. Did you over hook a bluefish? Well, it's about tho samo thing ns getting hold of tho biggest kind of a pickerol iu fresh water. You go out in a sailboat, you understand, and you wout u pair of heavy glovc3 on. Tho trolling lino goes whizzing out to a dis tance of fifty or seventy-five feet, and tho boat tacks back and forth while you trolL You can't mistake tho bito of a blueflsh for a whale. Ho bites harder thau a whale. IIo doesn't wait to wonder and meditato and fig uro up on probablo profit or loss, but ho grabs bait and hook liko a fish determined to carry the boat off and turn its crow over to the sharks. Thero is an unwritten law which prevents any ono from oxtendlug help. You must fish or cut bait, pull him in or loso him. When tho first blueflsh struck my hook I screamed. When ho pulled ten feet of lino through ray Angers 1 yelled. When ha seemed determined to pull mo overboard I shrieked liko a woman facing n panther. And all tho help and con solation I got was: "Just hear tho schoolma'am tako on I Some of you hold tho camphor to her now!" I was twenty minutes getting that fellow iu, but he weighed uino iounds aud had all tho game of a young shark. Atlantic City Cor. Dutroit Free Press. I't dog s iu Paris are now ohd in mantloi with luukeU fur holding lump of frugur, ItnatlaC or tfwir ir,a and a Urine of litttti ulw bHb ttroaml tu ucek, OLD TIM TRAININGS. GILL ARP'S DESCRIPTION OF AN OLD FASHIONED "MUSTER." Tim Colonel with His Cockndo lint nml Dazzling Kpiiulets Hovlcwltig tlio Mi litia Kcttlo Drum and Squeaky I'lle. A Fist nnd Skull l iclit. Bill Arp thus discusses old times lu Georgia and the old fashioned training day scones: An old fashioned muster was equal to a modern "Mardi Gras." Tho governor was tho commando--in-chiof, but ns ho could not bo personally present tho militia wero re viewed by provy. Every county had an nide- Je-camp with tho rank of coloneL He held his nuik and title as long as the governor held his office, nnd ho was expected to holler for him and talk for him and boom him, nnd, if necessary, lie must fight for him on a suit able occasion. If tho governor failed of re election, these colonels had to retire too, nnd a new set were appointed, but the old set never lost their title, and ro tho state in course of tlnio got pretty full of colonels. On muster day tlio colonel wore a cockade hat and a red plume and epaulets aud n long brass swonl and big brass spurs, and horse pistols iu the holsters of his saddle, and he and his Hrsonal stafl' rodo up and down tho lines reviewing the militia, who were drawn up iu n doublo crooked straight lino in a great big field that was full of gullies nnd broom sage. Some wore coats and some didn't; somo wore shocsuud some didn't; but iiono wore beards, for iu those days.nono woro boards but gamblers. Some were armed with shotguns and somo with rifles or muskets, but most of them curried sticks and cornstalks and umbrellas, nnd they stood up or squatted down nt pleasure, and nb.'Ut half the time were hollering for water. THE COI.O.VEL AM) HIS STAFF. The colonel mid his staff rodo up nnd down the lines Ion lino horses that danced and pranced liko thero were tuclw under the sad dles. The roll of each company was called and every man answered to his name whether lie wns there or not. Then the colone! took a central position and faced the long audi?nce and waved his glittering swonl und ex claimed: "Attention, battalion! Shoulder arms, right face, march!" Then tho kettle drum rattled aud the fife squeaked and somo guns went off half cocked, nnd the militia gave three cheers for tho colonel and were disbanded until the next muster. Old mau Brooks was the chief musician in my day, and would not hnvo exchanged this office with the king of England. Ho always played "Brooks' March" for the inilitia to loconioto by. They never inarched or kopt step by tho music, but tfiey got along somehow by walk ing nnd trotting and pacing and for trotting by turns. Old father Brooks played his part well In the drama or farce, or whatever it was. He magnified his office. He loved music. Ho said his life was his life aud his fiddle was his riddlo. On his last bed he sent for my father to como and seo him. Old und wrinkled and cadaverous, he motioned to lie propped up In his bed, and then, with an in verted chair behind his pillow, ho pointed to his fiddle that lay upon tho shelf near by, and it was bunded to lilm. Hugging it to his old bosom ho smiled amid his tears and whis pered: "I wish that I could play you ono more tune." That night tho old man died, with his left hand closed hard und rigid around the neck of his violin. After the muster was over then camo the horse racing on quarter nags and horso swhi ping, and of course some pugilistic exercises in front of the groceries. KIST.S, SKULLS AND FINGERS. Jim Bowles wns the center of n crowd frolu his beat, and stripped to the waist ho pranced uround and popped his list in tho palm of his hand, and jumped up nnd cracked his heels together threo times before they struck tho ground, and gavo a wild In jun whoop and exclaimed: "I'm tho best man in Pinkueyvillo district." About that timo big Jim Hobiuson jumped up in tho center of another crowd and yelled: "I'm tho best man in Ben Smith's decstrict," and Nick Haw lins screamed liko a panther from another crowd, and gritted his teeth nnd shook his hair and yelled: "Gentlemen, my Betsy Jano says I'm tho host man in Rockbridge dees trict, nnd I reckon sho ought for to know." It was just liko gamecocks crowing in tho barnyard, and, liko tho cocks two of them soon got together and went to fighting, and everybody stood around and shouted, "Hands off, gentlonien; stand back, gentlemen. Hands off; let 'em fight fair and squaro." And they fought hard und fought long, and when ono of them got to bo tho bottom dog in tho fight nnd hollered "enough," tho show was over, unless tho victor dared to crow usuin, and had to tacklo another rooster. I have known Nick Rnwllns to whip threo brag men in ono evening, nnd Nick wns no bad man eithsr. Everybody liked Nick. Ho had fit aud 1'out and fought until ho had lost a lltiger and a. snip out of his noso and a pieeo of his left ear, but ho was novor mad. Nick told mo not along ago that ho never did love to fight, but when ho courted Betsy Jane sho 'lowed that when sho married a man ho hnd to bo n man all over, insido nnd out, nnd so he got to fighting on her nccount. But these old times are gone gone never to return. Even tho preachers who used to tako off their coats in tlio pulpit have con formed to more polito customs. Their sing song sermons uro heard no more nor tho nasal attachments that were bomethiug be tween a shufllo and a snort. Old Father Dannelly and his wooden leg aro dead und so is old Barny Pace, who said to tho Homo girl who went out to hear him Just for tho fun of the tiling: "If that town gal with the given bonnot on her head and tho devil's martingales around her neck and his stir rups in her ears, don't quit her glggllu,' I will pint her out to tho congregation." Wo have mora manners now, though our morals may l3 nt a discount. Bill Arp In Atlanta Constitution. Ion't I'urn to Carre. Never loarn to carvo, young man. There Is no fun iu it. A knowledge of tho urt saddles you with a rosjioiisibillty which, while it may procure you invitations to dinner, bits heav ily on tho soul end brings wrinkles on tho forehead. If you do not erform the work artistically you aro criticised. If a tough fowl gets away from you aud takes refuge in a lady's Jap you uro laughed at uud made an enemy of tho fair ono whose dress you soil or t.poil. You olfend Jones If you bend tho choicest cut to Smith, nnd vice versa. You must send tho host away uud reserve only the least to bo desired for yourself. Tho waiUsrs mako you tho subject of their remarks, uud by putting their heads together and jerking their thumbs over their shoulder in your direction cmbarnra you dreadfully; you know by tho fiendish leer on their faces tlut thoy havo sot you down as a blacksmith. If tho rim is warm you ore thrown into u violwit jwrsplrationj your collar wilts, neck tlo gets awry, your nppotlto leaves you, and when your labors are IluUbed you Login your dinner with the air of one who has U-wi in a miSllWio mill and come out kvaoud Iml. Dou't loom to oarva Nibnuka titaU Jour ml a SUMMER HOTEL. A Man Vtho Proposes to Keep - yu'e llou-o III rinu. "I'm setting out to keep n summer hotel for decent people, not for Imres, and I contend there nro enough decent peoplo in need of just such n house as I intend to keep to sup port me in my enterprise. I nm not build ing my houo for tho sort of peoplo who set out In July for six or eight weeks' search after what they call n good timo (1. e., un limited noiso and racket from sunrise till midnight). I'm getting it ready for just the opposite class see?" "1 see, and I belbro you'ro about on the right track." "I reckon I nm. Now, I'm going to run over a few of the things that I'm not going to have, I'm not going to have a single transom In my house 1" "Whatl no "ventilation?" "Bnh! ventilation! What thoughtful, cleanly person wants the ventilation from a hotel corridor, with forty other ioople's breaths all running in and out of his room on the heavy air' No, sir; open tho win dows no transoms, and no doors that will open or shut unless tho knobs are turned. Iu my house you can't slam a door If you want to; and no waxed floors; halls, corridors nnd staircases all thickly earpt ted nnd padded; no windows that stick and no bureau draw ers that won't open; and no soap left smooth after the last occupant of a room; and no beds that creak; nnd no office bolls ringing aud jangling all night nnd all day; and no guests awakened at dawn because somo ono next door wants to bo 'called.' I've Invented nu electric call apparatus from tho office that I'll warrant to waken the doud but not the wrong man or the neifeibor. And no stars and moons and tags hanging on the door keys for peoplo to jinglo and janglo when they como up to bed nt midnight; and no all night electric lawn lights to shine In your eyes and keep you aw ake until morning; and no croquet or tennis grounds near tho house to disturb ieople who are nervous with nf tor noon games; and no toothpicks on tho tables or in the office or anywhere." "Why, I thought thoy wero a national in stitution." "1 don't blamo you. Well, if thoy aro I'll denationalize them, that's all. And no dark wnll papers no wall -tapers nt all; clean, fresh painted, light colored wnlls that enn bo washed with good soap nnd water; nnd no waitresses or chambermaids with frizzes und bangs they've got to have smooth, parted hair and neat caps nnd aprons, ill nays. No hammocks on tho piazzas to squeak and creak; they'll Iw swung nt a dis tance. No baby carriages wheeled up and down on the verandas, either, no matter how rainy tho day. No lawn mowers to begin operations just at nap time. And if nny young men or boys come to the house who require to bo taught not to whistle iu tho corridors, I'll engage to instruct them egnd! Somo parents npjtenr to think u summer hotel is a sort of western prairie that they have turned their offspring loose in. And no dancing children in tho evenings, early or late." "Miss Marigold" in Pittsburg Bul letin. How it Cabman Win Fooled. Tho life of a hackman is not alwuys a bed of rosos, although he does rido around all day while others havo to walk. A few nights ago a veteran "cabby" related this sail story of man's duplicity. IIo wns hailed by a well dressed gentleman, who inquired his price by tho hour, and as tho amount wax satisfactory the "faro" jumped into the car riago and was driven to ono of the up town theatres, enjoining tho driver to wait until his return. At tho expiration of tho per formance the young mnn appeared, accom panied by a friend, nnd together thoy were driven to a restaurant, where tho' took sup k'V. Tho cupper consumed probably nn hour, and then tlfcj faithful driver was told to tako tho pair to tho residence of ono of them, where tho guest alighted, and, shun ming tho door with a bang, told the driver to go to a certain address and take tho other mnn home. Ho did so, driving as slowly as possible, and finally arrived beforo tho house designated. As it wus lato and the night was fair, the cabman, ltoing moro or less of a philosopher, thought ns ho was engaged by tho hour ho would not awaken tho gentleman insido, who appeared to havo gono to sleep, but would light his pipe and smoko for half an hour or so, with tho consciousness that ho was mak ing inoiioy all tho timo and not disturbing the s'uinbers of his tired friend. Half an hour passed and still no movement was felt by tho driver on tho box. Finally he began to bo a llttlo anxious, and opening tho car riage found to his dismay that it was empty. Tlio pretended slecitcr had quietly stolen uway whilo tho mind of tho driver was ilxed on other subjects. IIo novor sleeps now, nnd Is keeping a shurp lookout for that man. Philadelphia Times. Contagion Anion;; Ship 1'us-cnccrn. "Suppose, doctor, wo tako tho caso of a steamer carrying from 1,000 to 1,500 steerage passengers; could diseaso break out among them uud remain undiscovered until tho ship reached qiinruntinef" "Certainly, nnd that is whero Jho danger comes iu. It is i well known fact that ias Eengors who Iwcomo affected with a suspi cious ilisauso will frako every means to keep the knowlodgo of it from the officers. This is done through fear of being sent to tho hos pital on arrival, anj tho majority of conta gious diseases on board ship aro only discov ered when the passengers como Iteforo tho boarding officer. And hero, too, they will pass unless tho evidence of tho diseaso is so marked as to cull attention to them, for If but one minute's examination wero given to each individual it would tuko Just twenty five hours to pass 1,500, uud hundreds of times bhis receive free pratiqtio after only a couple of hours' delay. Tims it is easy to seo how mild env of varioloid aro liable to slip by quarantine; but what is infinitely worse, tho wholo 1,500 who (havo been within the area of infection scatter throughout the laud, overy ono of them a possible source of in fection of tho disease. "Brooklyn Eagle. A Couplo of Dog Ktorlea. Talking of dogs, I should tell you that London Is celebrated for curious dogs. Here aro a couplo of stories I can vouch for. In Bt. Martin's lane thero siu overy day an old blind man who Uiits nct-i. Between his feet sits a bright little Scotch terrier. If you toss him a p?nuy ho catches it deftly iu his mouth and puts his noso in his owner's hand. The blind mau utters his thanks and drops the money iu a bag ho wears nrouud his nock. In tho evening tho dog leads his master homo, and through some of tho most crowded thoroughfares, too. Nelson is the celebrated dog of fioren Dials. IIo is ulwnys -minted out to visitors. IIo got his simo from having lost a foot at somo disturbance ut Trafalgar square. He always buys his own food. When ntiy one gives Nelson a ieiiny aud ho is hungry he gous to a butcher's or a baker's tliop, us his ap'ietito dictates, and placing the coin ou tho counter receive a piece of meat or a rolL If he luu received tuuru jennies thau ha need for the day ho buries the surplus and elU on his treasure all night. I knew you would lnh at Uwit, fur I did so until I ww him do it.-Muwhall l Wilder iu New Yort lUiaid . MUST BE IDENTIFIED. HOW STRANGERS ARE ANNOYED WHEN TRYING TO CASH A DRAFT. A M:tii May Hiiro Million- In III- I'ockot nnd Yet Do Dnnble to Ituy a Mrnl. How Checks Are Mado I'aynbte In Kng litnd. A rich man compeftl to pawn his watch for a squaro meal nnd a night's lodging. That was tho strange situation in which n young Englishman who had just landed in New York found himclf tho other day. Ho hail arrived from tho West Indies, whero ho invested nearly nil the money ou his person in n draft for 200 on n Now York bank. Anxious to get n train for St Louis tho same day he hurried to tho bank for his monoy. Tho teller refused to pay tho draft until ho wns identified. And tho young man was an nbsoluto stran ger iu New Yorkl "Your people iu tho West Indies took my good money for that draft and 1 want it Wick ngnin. Am I to infer that this Is a bankrupt institution?'' He got no satisfaction, lost his train and had to pawn his wntchfr a meal and n lied. A fellow passenger identified him tho next day. I was discussing the matter tho other day with a very liberal American who has had much banking nnd mercantile experi ence hero and abroad. "Americans," said he, "nra tho worst bankers in the world. They don't kuow tho first thing about bank ing. Even to tho smallest details foreigners can givo us points. Tho methods pursued In tho mora paying and receiving of money in Now York suggests tho idea that every man iv'o enlcrs a bank is n possible thief. This," ho continued, "judging by tho numerous de falcations, might apply to tho officers of tho bank, but it is most unjust to tho public. A ers(Vi who goes Into ii storo where ho is surrounded on all sides by valuable goods is not supposed to bo thero for purposes of robbery and why should it bo differ ent in a bank? Indeed, Now York iu this respect never seems to havo gotten Itoyond its village days. Nothing looks more ridiculous to a Ixmdon mercantile man than to seo a long string of persons with books lu their hands waiting to make a 4e poslt through a cubby holo with a solitary receiving teller nnd it is tho samo with the payment of monoy. A bank with a largo business ought to havo half a dozen receiving nnd as many paying tellers nt large, wldo, oiien counters. Why all these cages and rail ings and bars aud peep holes through which you aro occasionally permitted to catch a glimpse of tho teller's noso who suddenly and unwillingly hands you your money? They don't have these things in England, and rob beries in banks thero are rare. Hera, desplta all theso precautions, thoy aro frequent, and a largo proportion aro committed by those In side of tho railing and not outside of it NOT A PLEASANT MATTEH, "I don't like to bo looked upon when I en ter n Now York bank n stranger ns if I had a natural predilection for perjury nnd forgery, for the toller is not satisfied if you tell him your right name and oven sign it you must bo identified. Iu England checks are usually made payablo to liearer. 'Shall I cross It?' asks tho drawer, which means that by draw ing two lines across tho check and inserting the words 'Bank' and 'Co.' between tho lines the money can only bo collected through a bank or banking firm. Otherwise nny 'bearer' can get tho cash nt tho bank without any questions bolng asked oxcept, 'How will you have it?' I may send anybody with my check payable to bearer for JK3,000 to a bank nnd ho will get tho monoy without any trouble. Iu a Now York bank such un amount would creato tho utmost con sternation. All tho detectives in Now York would bo immediately rung up to aid tho officers of tho bauk from presi dent down to janitor iu watching tho rash intruder. Horo n check or draft is usually made payablo to order, but a stranger may ludurso It in the presence of tho teller and he'll never get the money without identification, no matter what ordi nary proof in the wny of letters or cards tho holder of the check may havo about his per son. Of courso, if n paying toller hns good reason to suppose that a check or draft has lioen stolen or found ho would bo justified iu refusing payment and holding tho party who presented it: but iu niucty-nluo cases out of a hundred thoro aro no grounds for suspi cion. Foreigners nro always grumbling at our stupid rules, and if it wero onco known abroad that thero was n banking houso in New York that would pay drafts to -tcoplo without identification, such n concern would soon havo the cream of the 'traveler's draft business." " This attack on tho system pursued here, which is certainly unworthy of u great me tropolis, recalls nn oxporienco of my own. A friend of mlno somo yenrs ago guvo inn a check for SI, 200, payablo to mo or bearer, on the Sixth National bank of New York. I pre sented It. "Don't know you," said tho teller, "Neither havo I the pleasure of your ac quuintnnco," was tho answer, "hut my namo Is on the check and I nm also tho bearer." "Can't help it; it's too lurgo an amount to givo ton stranger, and you must be Identi fied." "My friends aro out of town," said I, "and President Arthur Is in Washington. I can't very well send for him." "Well, I won't give you tho money." "Then write your reasons on tho chock." "No, I won't do that." "Then," wild I, "I am a newspaper man. I shall pVotest this check and proclaim in Wall street this afternoon that tho Sixth Natiouul bank refuse to honor the checks drawn on It." I got the monoy. New York Cor. Giobo-Deiuocrat. Who Will Ituy u Cattle? Who wants to buy a flno old English castle, dating from Henry I? Such a highly fjinantic projierty is now lu the market, and will bo bold at unction ou tho 2 1st of this mouth lu London. Its namo is Devizes' castle, und it is tituated in Wiltshire. As long ago us 1 14'J it passed into tho possession of tho ci own, was givon as dower to tho wives of various kings, and thus became en titled to tho Immunities of a royal castlo. Portions of the original structure still ro main. Tho approach to tho castlo is through a bnttlemented gatowny. it is protected by an ancient moat. It can boast of a secret chamber iu Its ivy tower, of dungeons, of boar gardens, of Norman gatewnys, of ram part walks, of bastions. Tho auctioneer's lieuutlfully Illustrated pamphlet, from which these facts nro gleaned, makes no mention of a Unit class ghost, who can a tremendous tule unfold and can bo depended upon to show himself at regular intervals. However, it is only fair to assume that such a ghoit goes with such an estate. New York Tribune, A I'ield tielocted. "Yes, fathor," ho said to old Mr. Hayseed, "I've graduated, und my education U com plete, I s'poso I know ubout everything. Now I must cbooao a fluid whom my nbllitles can bo uma! to the bet advantage. I want a large Held whero 1 will have plenty of room," "Kou," replied thu old limn, "there is tho tu uuro ooru lUld, and you Uu havo it all to jourMH," Haiiwr'4 Uasar, THE OLD LIFEBOAT. Tho Ul !If"boat, l With Its Hoik of mercy done' Ix-ft to cnin.hlo n:ny on the shore, T tltc h-r.plu rami nnd tho scofilnc roar I Of tit- wavtvj that nod on tho fi!ai.s.T floor; l.oft to lurch lu the summer sun, , To blacken and rot. for Its' course U run The old llfeltoat, J Tltnt used to float I Over tho silver wates remoto. Tho old lireWt! ' How it stood In service days' :.vl In white with a stnr on Its prow (Dut the star has rt on Its old side now). And the coils of rope nt tho shapely bow Sturdy oars that were steady In place, At cry of alarm ever roady to raise, Tho old lifeboat Wo oft would note Far on the son like a sunny tncto. Tho old lifeboat ! By the lighthouse shadow Ions, Salt winds whlpcrlm now through its cracks Murmur over and oi er rememlriil facts Of the purple cilm nnd tho tcnijtest racks, O'inklng f hips, and the Iniomlng strong. Tho summon to save, and the nuxtous throof- l'.ounil tli old lifeboat, ' Pushed off to lloat Over tho lashing wnu-s remote. Tho old llfeltoat! By the shore nnd shifting tide! Thote the dreamer w 111 often delay. And the lovew lean nt tho oIomj of day. And tho M.MH10U liaise, and tho ciilldreu play. Is It for naught that It should nbiilcf What matter It then though it bo denied. Tho old lifeboat ' Again to float Orcr tho sliver waves remote! " " I'd ward Abrom Vatcntlne. " MIrIU Talk Too aiuch. Mannjer William II. Eckert said ho clM not expect to seo any radical change in the form of tly telephone, save perhaps n con trivance to hold tho receiver to tlio car mid leavo the listener both hands freo. Ha laughed when nsked as to tho practical usii of n telephone audible to n person sitting several feet away from tho instrument. "That hn3 been perfected," ho said, "but uo body cares for It Wo wero ull amused and delighted with tho invention when it was first shown, but after awhllo it was agreed by experts that tho thing wus not likely to be of practical value No ono enrcs to havo a thing iu his office that will talk right out nt tho most inopportune moment. Thero ora none in use, as far as I kuow.1' Now York Press. Two Mnrrlncp- In Franco. Thero nro nlways two marriages in Franca beforo tho groom can claim his brldo first the innrriago at tho mayor's offico, or civil marrlugo, and then tho church marriage. Two, nnd sometimes three, days pass between the two ceremonies, during which timo tha announcement of the civil marriage is posted up on tho court houso door, aud tho young couplo nro not allowed to ceo each othor. The civil marriage is n (pilot affair, tho bride wearing street costume, and tho mombors of. her own aud her husltand's families boing the only persons present Tho second ceremony is in accordance with the wealth of tho groom nnd the position ho holds in society, Tha Argouaut js., .rf.,u.Vt Thought IIo Was I.ucUy. IIo was a liclated citizen going homo. Ai he turned into High street from Boaubionn pedcbtrian suddenly confronted him and said : "Mister, if you would pleaso bo so kind as to tell mo what timo it is, I'd bo" "Just striking ono 1" was tho reply, as the belated shot out with his right and knocked tho fellow into tho gutter. Tlio victim crawled out nftor a period, of inactivity, gathered up u big bull of snot for his nose to bleed on, und muttered to him self: "Wnrn't I in luck that it wasn't just strik ing 'loven or twolvo I" Dotrolt Freo Press. Only Wanted Knotigh. Not long slnco a buxom, nowly arrived daughter of Erin found herself tho only pas songor ou n steamboat whoso dock adjoins a slip from which rowboata nro hired. Just as the lines wero about to bo cost off sho ap proached tho mnto of tho steamltoat, anil, with artless politeness, exclaimed : "Ah, sur yo needn't tako mo iu this big boat. Wan av thim small waas will do." Tho official wis so surprised atthisthought fulncfn that his eyes got as big as Huucers, and ho walked away in cllence, not daring ta givo expression to tho words his tongue would utter. Now York Evening Sun. V A Sad Stnto or Affairs. Old Mrs. Bently Havo yo hoord anything about Mrs. Brown Intoly, Obadlah? Old Mr. Bently Sho dietlbovoraldaysagou, I thought yo know that? Old Mrs. Bently I novor hoord of It. Poor soul! An' fo tiho'd (load? Old Mr. Bently Yes, dead on' burled. Old Mrs. B. An' buried, tool Oh, myt Wuss an' wussl Now York Sun. Tho First flalutntlon. Tho first kins Itotwoon tho spinster patroness of a matrimonial bureau and tho mau intro duced to hor by tho marriage broker as her. "future husband," is described by hnngerson in boing umusiug to a degree. Thoy seem nfraid of each othor, until finally the woman rushes nt him, and he seems glad it's over. Now York Graphic, Soiuotlilng About I'lim-ltcs. "Pn, hero's a picco In tho paper about par asites. 'What is parasites, pal" "Parasites, my Itoy? Why, parasites aro tho iooplo who live in Paris. Think you ought to kuow Hint, and you in tho Third Header." Woman's Magazine. Homo Coimolutlon. Visitor Don't you miss your llttlo nephew very much, Freddie Froddio (whoso nephew died tho week bo fore) Yes", I mlsi lilm very much, but I ilka to be thu uncle of an angel. -Life. Naturally Indlgnunt. After church; Spoggs Wns it not disgraceful, tho way iu which Smiggs snored iu church todayt Stuggs I uhould think it was. Why, ha woko us all up. Tho ltoviow. Dreadfully Afraid. Tho wages of sin is death, nnd, if you will notice It, thero aro a great many porsons iu this world who scorn to Ito dreadfully afraid that thoy won't earn their wagon. Boston Transcript. I'cnrfiilly Ulg Feet. It was an Irish lady who oueo uniu'ciLlirr auditors greatly by remarking iu n rueful tone, in thu courso of u conversation on tlio size of feet: "My feet aro fearfully big regu lar cubio feet" Talhlli Down the Tube. Patron Give mo a piece of pie awl a gum of milk. Walter (vehemently) Ono clock wclghti and uobalktmurry. Nebraska State Jou ruaL A man discovers when ho Isn't wanted bjr a tardy praeew of mnou. Tho woman dSit covm it lurtWictively, A.-.