PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS. Washington has n "Slimmer homo for eat." Ills said to bo surrounded by a caterwaul. Korrishwn Herald. In polite circles the word "drunk" or "intoxicated" is no longer used. "Overestimated his capacity" is tho proper thing. Epoch. "Look out for number one" is like tfio baseless fabric of h dream to a widow on the an' vive for a second Jiub hinCL. lliifj!uutr!on Republican. , St. Louis mail (wiljssin? "Julius with what (jtately grace Brutus move- about?'' Wife "Yes, and ho is hi hid night-gown, too. It's wonderful!" Smc one says that an umbrella will last m ich longer if it is placed 1 1 I lilts iiiiuuiu uuiii mu w preserve it still longer, nttnuh It to your body with a long chain and padlock.- S'orr'.tfown Herald. I: Is in: always oa sy to tell whether or no' h woman really means what she says; i: it this rule does not apply when she if- expatiating oa tho accomplish ments of her baby. Sho mny bo mis guided, but she is always perfectly sincer;. -Q$'oiiem7c Journal. "All tho men are not fools, nny how." snapped .Mrs. Curtly to her hus band during a little domestic discus sion. "No. my dear," replied Mr. C, with trae manly politeness. "No, there it -e a few bachelors loft as sam ples." Washington Critic. Police Protection. Smith "How do you lileo your new house out in tho suburb-?-' Jones "Tho only objection 1 have to It is that it is so far to the police station in caso of burglars." "Why didn't vou rout a liouso noar a saloon? Vou can always Had a police man hanging around there." Texas Hilinns. Dominie (to choir leader)' Tho collection this morning. Mr. Hotwator, was very small, $id I am sorry to say that f think tho meugrenoss was largely duo to you. Choir Loader -"Largely due to mo. sir?"' Domlniu-"Yos. Hereafter, while tho plate is being passed, I wish you w9rid0ry 113d make a better selection of music than "Sal vatic' Free." Ar. tyn. ' .Mrs. Lenox 111, Jr. 'GftUing ready to Jeav1 town) -"Lciox, whoro sliU I hide those silver spoofjfc, in case tloves "ore,; in?0do you think between tho piattrees would Je a go8i pfceo?" Mr. Lenox Ulll, Jr. (who knows wluft ho In talking about) "Nonsense! Put them into one your dross pockots tho eloot, and If a burglar H8ds iWt, he dese.aos the spoons!" I'uti'c. Soi where down East a mnrrlifl r were in tho halt of airing tholr (nlHirenees audibly. In these spats tho wife, having tho bftgor tongue, was usually tfho winner. Tho resu!) us made known In one case to an Inquir ing neighbor (who asked whoro ho could Mud Mr. MiQllank) In those words: "I don't know, 1 guess he's up stairs linHn' hlssolf." Jloston Tran tcriiil, "The types." observes a Southern Missouri paper npologotilly, "ma us allude lust week to our esteemed tiQiisiii'in. Mr. Polhemus, as a (tIJJln oitluungor. Wo wrote 'versatile law yer," Thrt error was overlooked by our proaf-voador, a Kcnllomnn reoe.itly from T was, who umsu ro uh. lu oxtou uatlon of the overdo. it.Q'mt Vlio two terms moan pretty much (ho same thing whoro ho came troni." Clergymen sliadd lo-brlof and to tho point. A Boston clergyman once a hrtrul hint to that ollod. "Wo would like to have you short when you flurry us." said a productive bride groom, "because we are going West." "How soon after tho ceremony will you start?" asked the clergyman. "In nboulu week," was tho reply. Thou the minister realized ho had a reputa tion as one possessing tho gift of con tinuance. '-Harper's Magazine,, PECULIARJNDUSTRY. IVrnniw Who MiiUk it I.UIuu- ly llilj'lnj: MpIIIiik Hint X'.fiK. There was a lively row in progress lif the collar of one of tho largo com mission houses on Dunuo street. Tho bolllgoronts were tho portor of tho establishment and a stout German woman, who held In olther arm a largo basket of apparently fresh eggs. Tho row Hi df was over tho price of tho eggs, the woman claiming that thoy worts not worth over forty-two cents per one hundred, while tho porter hold out stoutly for forty-live cents. Win. M tin wiiiiiiin who failed to unlll her point had exhausted Per stock of nerllu "billingsgate" tho portor ex plained tho sltuatlou to a reporter as follows: "Yon seo," ho began, "every barrel of eggs that comes lu hero has to bo candled,' and when wo llml 0110 not 1111. to tho mark wo throw It aside, Those aro either spotted, cracked or rotten, as tho case may bo, and of these, which wo call snots. oracKs ami rots, wo have many dozens each week to dispose or. This woman nan just bought four hundred oracks and spots at forty-live cents a hundred. What will she do with them? by, sell them to Hih oj.croam saloons and bakeries, not to mention tho cheap restaurant. She will got from live to lull CUIUS II MU' I wr ilium, iiv.-uiiiuiii ... tali , . i .. . 1 to quality. no iik 01 wio oggs, now i.vi will be made into Ice-cream. ' "Some of these big Ico-oream con coriu," ho wont on, "uso those oggs altogether, and I know of some largo IwMiKiirf who use tlioni to L'ivu Ihoir bwiui. a peculiar gloss. As for t'OtUiu eggs, mo lunnunos uuy mum. There is miuwihiug in a rotten egg that L'ivK n coi tulu llqish Ui some khuU of f T .1.1 ..I ... ...Ill loatJiar uiai uouuuk k" c.kKin nt ihiiso womuii luakv a L'ood liv ing by buying up spolhsl oggs, but thnlr trailo l being spollwl by tho baittti'ln and iv-dJiurants who nro now ntndlni,' Iholr tru wagon uivur mum." A. llmM- ERRONEOUS IDEAS. A Wine Sinn Opinion ot Wliilt tlm Ite-niDrji- orCrlmlnnU Me:in. 1 "I am glad I'm copped," said Mr. .7 ickson when ho fell Into tho hands of the myrmidons of tho law. Upon which text several lay-sermons have Ikoii delivered on tho effect of remorso upon gentlemen of his class. In ray o.ilnlon, this now historic phraso should not have been quoted without l,i context: "I have had a hard time nl it lately." This latter reflection. I bollove, is what most persons in Mr. Jackson's position menu by their re morse; their sorrow is not for the crime, but for its consequences. In the case of offenses that fall short of murder, though they are often infinitely moro dJOistroui, and sometimes morally worse, It IscerUilnly so. Tho swindling banker comfortably located at Stock holm, in a society of his fellow-countrymen, tho grades of which, I am told, aro peculiar -the highest circles have "gone in" for upwards of 11)0,000 and tholowost being moro pilferers of 10, 0)0 odd is not disturbed by widows' moans and orphans' groans; but If he Is where extradition is possible, ho Is full of regret and pity for his own perilous position. Tho idea of dis covery and arrest Is never absent from his m'nd. Ho hears "the voice wo can not hour'' (-nying "I arrest you for forgery,") he "sees the hand wo can not se'" (taking hold of his shoulder) ovory hour in the day; but it is not the voice or the hand of conscience, but of personal apprehension (literally appre hension). He is glad to be "copped" though it is noticeable that he very rarely anticipates that pleasure by giving 'himself up -because ho has -noli a bad time of it, and not at all be cause he has imitated another gentle man's handwriting. Yet if fQiQ habitual cr'mtnal who has been beaV ing his fello'v-crcatures within an inch of their live, ever since he could han dle 11 bliiii-eon. goes bend tho inch and kills tho fe'low-creature, we im agine him prostted with remorse. A moro absurd Idea wasnerontertalr81 than tlnff this sort of cigUitre appre .ites lu tho least dogreo "the sacred ess of human 11C&" The case of S Bentliig-ntftl person, like Kugen Ai0, for e.egle. who thlnifci ho (gn coif mltaOiurdernnd "havodo8' "hh it," is wholly different; tho deed itftlf haunts him, and gives him bad nights; though it Is toQo observed that If ho murders one or two moro people his Insomnia dts.Qpears, and he recovers his iQjpotlto. As for Mr. Will""" Sylfoji being troublif by Nancy's eyes I never believed ono alord of it. If you had put tho question to him, I could anticipate his contemptuous reply exactly, though I decline to write it down. The opponents of capital pun ishment are such oxcollent people themselves that thoy can not under ".tand the feelings of Messieurs les assassins. Ask any prison warder how many days' purchase he thinks his life would bo worth if a "lifer could not be hung for taking It; for what is very remarkable, your ruluan is sensitive about the sacredncO, of human life when it Is his own, but in no other case, believe me. Mr. Jackson, of ooinne, may not be found guilty of mm dor; but I object to any person of his ehihs lielug represented as lulluenced by the HtMithno'itul emotions because he sings "The Thorn" and tho "Pil grim of Love" so touchiugly. (Sifted with such an "organ." if he had only t'Qiight of blacking his face and assum ing the guUo of a nigger minstrel, he would not have been "languishing in Quins." .okoh Xews. Bltinrck as an Organ-Grln0r. The latest story about Blsnmrck de scribes how ho called q-i KmpororTll lani tho other day, and while waiting In an uuto-rooin heard voices In tho Imperial nursery, and went in. Ho found the lltt'o Crown Prince fi:iding away at a barrel-organ, while two younger princes were trying to dance. "Please, Prince Bismarck, 001110 and dance with me," said one of tho youngs ters. "No. I am too old; 1 really can not dance," said tho old gentlemen; "but If tho Crown Prince w'Q dance, I will grind tho organ for you all." When the Ihnperor openeCXho door, tho Chancellor of the (Serman Empire was found grinding away In a high stato of pleasure and perspiration. Tho moral of thOanecdoto was drawn by His Majesty, who said that, not con tent with making three generations of llohenzollerns dance to his pipe, Bis marck had already begun with tho fiOrth. -JtOiulon Truth. Slightly Misunderstood. 'Yos," said ?fls9 Crushlugton, tho celebrated exponent of society ami emotional drama, "I had a most suc cessful tour lu Kngland last summer "Did you enjoy tho trip across tho ocean?" "Very much oomlng baok, but not so much going over.' "Wore you slckP "N-uot so vorv. but I felt badly and wished I hadn't agreed ' to come, Wanted to baok out, you know." "I understand; you felt like throw lnr tin the whole affair." "O. dear no! I wasn't asstck as thatl" Mereiunt Tru vaier. Disastrous Suspicion. Charley 1 say. Brown, havo you got change for a ten? Harry (suspiciously) Kr no. Char ley. 1 lmvon t a cont In 111 pouket. Charley Sorry, old iua; 1 wanted to ji'iy tho tlva I owo you. Lift. --On a windy day In Nw York re oontly lhlrtMtu haU wr blown froai the Brooklyn brldgu to roturu no inert' lo the huud of lliulr urruwliiK owuor I SIGNALS FOR THE FARl.t. Simple Momn of CoiniimnlrnHon Over nn Arm ir h Mllo or So. A code of signals for use on the farm may be mndc very useful for communi cation between persons out of speaking distance. The writer has long used a loud whistle for making signals to bis hired men and others about the farm, .vhlcb have been found quite intelligible and useful after a little training. The common "mile whistles" sold under the claim that they can be heard a mile oft aro fraud'! and lit only or children's, playthings; but a loud whistle can be made of a brass tube half an inch in di ameter. plugged and cut with a file in the required manner. The lct whistle, however, is made of the half shell of i common lllbcrt or Barcelona nu sawts lengthwise or across the middle. This is placed between the third and fourth fingers inside tho hand, at the space b tween the knuckle and the next joim with the opening in theOcll between the lingers. The hand is then cht"Ql so that an orifice is left between the fingers opening into the nutshell. Then by placing the bent joints of the lingers between tho lips and blowing forcibly Into the nutshell, a very shrill and loud whistle may be given that can be heart! half a mile with easo. niS? further when a gentle wind Is blowing In tho direction the sound is to be sont. It seems that this system of whistle signals or language is by no means a novelty, for a regular vocndary. so to spunk, of whistling sounds has been In ii!e in an Isid of the Canary group. Tho inhabitants of this island (Comera, which consists mostly of preetous rocks and deep ravines throughQ-hich rivers How,) make use of this ,codc ol whistle signals to communicate with each other across tho rough country, which can only bo traversed by long, circuitous routes, on ac count of tho deep ravines. These poo nlo uso both tinners and lips when whistling, and can carry sntion with neighbor tho uso of this peculiar language. This useful addition to the faculty of speech may bo ngde available in 1111111 iys by lopting awmilgr code or key of niii'ds to f?St liich is ued in telo- L'ranhv. Thus in our system thrc short. sliri) ffihistl blon quii'&ly nufiO that the mn or men 4 &n i 8 distant pl'o are to &nno tl8 hou$ij or to quit oilg. Qfie long (jwuistle, 'gradually taking otf to finish, moans 1 luil. tho foreman must ifll nd a man to ixho barn; 0110 short, sharp whlatle, fol hyved by the loig, tapering one, calls tho teaij homo; two short whistles and tho long one from tho foreman calls the employer to tho field to settle somo dillleulty; three short whistles and the long one call tho foreman and announce meal times. Thus by thoWiso oflong and short sounds differently disposed all sorts of directions may bo given and information conveyed. Knch man em- ployed is provided with a whistle, if ho can not. use his lingers in tho usual ay, which makes a loud, piercing sound, and a card of signals: but tins is mil. nf niiicb use except at rare inter vals. Flags are usefully employed its sig rials when the house or barn can be seen from all parts of tho farm. A pole with arms such as make up tho olOfnshioned "semaphore" telegraph may also bo used wborij can bo seen or the persons are too far apart to hear a sound. A triangle made of a steel bar bent with tho ends free, and struck with another piece of steel, can be hoard more than a mile uwav. But this and tho boll aro not sufficiently various in sound for or dlnarv uso. Tho whistle, on the other band; may' bo made to vary quite suff , . ' i n ctontlv to afford all necessary means ot coniinunliQJou over the area of an or dinary farm, and tho signals may bo so odilled as togivo intelligent meaning s in tho case ot tho Islanders above re - lis ferred to. But it will be most convenient to con dense as much as possible the code of signals. Thus the signal come to the house or barn when repeated quickly will mean there is something wrong and haste Is required. This will answer for all emergencies. Each man. too. should liuvo his slgnnl.Qo which lu' only will nimwor In person when tlw men tiro together or scuttled. Somo such method of communication will bo found very useful, and, as It will tend to save tlmo itt tlQwork of the farm, and a .time is money, it will be found a means of economy, and therefore worthy of adoption. A'. ). TinnxO Know Where He Was From. Judge (to prlsonor who 1q ji.O boon brought Into court) What is your iiamo? Prisoner Hillings. Judge Where are you from, Mr. Billings? Prlsonor I roftiso to state, as such Information has nothing to do with the case. Judge -But wo will compel you to state, sir. Prisoner -That will Iw n dangerous proceeding, 1 jissiiro you. 1 shot n judge onco. Judge (musingly) Tho prlsonor la from Kentucky. Arkansaw Traveler. There aro In Now York moro than 1.000 artesian wells in constant Use, Owing to the moagiv supply of Croton water, especially during the drysoniKHi. Uv'lfe numbers of uutnuftiotitrers have Imhi obliged to report to wolls, which vary la deph from about -100 to l.S0 fwl. and fiiriiUh from 8.000 to PO.000 enlW'iic a di, The w oils Hit drilled by iht nn ihin'.u in M'gue In tlu tdl rcyiiin. Ht h oot ituiginr 'ruin t. U twelve dollar h loot, according to the hard ui'M lif Ihu rock. WAYS OF THE VUKLD. A ritllotoplirr'4 Vlrvr of l.lf H He Klnrtl It N"ovnclay. In thee dnvs we hear but little of the good people in the world. We are too busy studying the scandalous and criminal side of life to take any heed j of tho deeds of charity and the tender j sympathy that are not as rare as they 1 eein to lw. lteally, looking at life to-1 day, listening Jo conversation and not- in frti..wf iwwinln Mm 1 virtue ' iiiiiu, most, one would imagine that anu cimrio nnu ueii.ii ivu .iiwjt-nici , i , .1 !... 1 1 .1- ..1 ..1. ...... I.,.- tlie worm, w e e have grown selliSli anu callous. When tho lightning of death ! or severe suffering does not strike us, or near us. we are content to believe . nobody else suffers. Tho crape has no j longer any significance: tho bereave- j ment of a friend gets the moment s meaningless condolence, and we go on with our busy life. We have no time to mourn nowadays. There has crept into our vioQof life so much philoso phy that a little wreath of flowers Is all we consider necessary to show our respect for the dead friend; we pay so much money out in some form or another and our mourning is over. What do we care fjtbe dead? Let them go. They aro oeyond our sym pathy, beyond our love or our hate. Lit them pass. There are other peo ple to take their place in our affections. We have ton much philosophy to allow our grief to interfere with our pleasures. We are a practical people. and we have no fiddle-faddle sentiment about us. We have no real friendships nowadays. We must not get too deeply Interested in anybody, or If any thing happens to him or her we will perhaps suffer a little pain, and what's tho good? Soilness is the first law of our modern life. Self-sacrifice may still exist ninone; women, but women are weak thlnw, at best. Charity? j Givo him live dollars; send him some-1 n,i.r m nt tW is diiintv: ro and arry on aconvertfknook at the door and ask how ho is, s a mile distant byTmui then go off to your fun. Affection? ! Say you are so sorry lie is sn. ana forgot 5il about him. l&gd? "Poor rellow! He was a good fellow, and I am sorry he's gone. What Q.rd 3iffi that you played?" t perl:ps after all there re .)ift)yes that the tears come to; 8'8dy' ligjid gi tho rta . . . i i . . ...... t . . . f . ... bitterer signu igyiun mo cyiijiuri ui unj) symithy thfioug ins weugeniuy frame; porHgng pe6My sits in a chair by the fire in the lonely room and fancies shtQsees him there, feels his arms about her, hoars his voice and pays a tribute to him with a throbbing heart. Somewhere or another, it may be. somo merry laugh stops half ut tered, and somebody rises from the joyous party and says: "i can not play to-night: I am not well." But it is curi ous that the larger the world grows tho smaller the sympathetic circle seems to get. Tho more friends a man has the less real friendship. To be happy? It is to have one woman who logis you to love, and one man who trusts you to trust. Kan Francisco Cironicle. rou$sisTanoratory. Sdmii's 111 tlie I'opiilQ House orrii:irl" I.' Utile KIiikUoiii. Roumanian oratory finds it- natural and public forum in the lower house of the Legi '-'at ore. and tho style of the deliberations of this body shows that the people aspire after something to which thoy havo not attained. Both tho Senate and the House are elective every four years, and over tho firmer presides Demotrlghian. son of tlie late llosjlor of Wallachia. Ql is still thought sufficient to provide thorn a hall wOeh will not comfortably seat more th. one-half of their number r.iftm. tin niniiner of the British Mouses of Lords andC.Qniiioiis),aud a crowded and corn-hurting condition of tilings is the result, with a pushing fors-ats and 1 a perching of some members nflou tho riMinullv moos OI llieir lenutts, anu mu dodging around of .no of the many pillars of the building when one of tln ilestros to address the president, and the furious ringing of his bell almost contiiiiwsly during the sosslon, call ing for order, and the sobering shouts nf Mitviti iU smuviiirles irolng on whil'n montboiPsimultaneously demand hoar lug from different parts of the house, and lather thO.isolves in their frantic and heated efforts to be heard, and only sure of that when drawing laughter by a joke, or hisses by attack ing somebody or something. The lan guage is quick and sharp, the usual faca iiiustached and whiskered, the gestures jerky, exorbitant and powerless. Tho policy of the Government is always to delay the House getting in order as long as possible after tho hour sot, and to make it adjourn as soon as possible without having done tuO thing; while tho policy of tho mombers at large is to havo tlino enough to deliver their orations. The peoplo aro hardly yot aware of what are the truo functions of a legislative body, and yet thoy aro pa triotic enough to fool satisfaction lu hav ing ono great honor in being its mem bers, ami a general confidence in tho King from the west, that, no matter how many mistakes they may make, he is jtlll strong enough and able enough to keep them right side up. Jn the same luflosure with the palace of the Legis lature are tho old church and much Oner pnlaco of Priuco-Archblshop Ga lenic Mlclesou, the Gi-eok metropolitan, the stumpy colonnade of the church being terribly and hideously frescoed with souls burning in purgatory, as if in warnlug to all who join such a church that they may know what to exiuvt hertwlter. and hml bettor keep aut of it entirely. X J', Mmt and Jix I - ' 0 I Work the oftbbnfu plants often titruigdry wwHthcr. Koop the bui-(mo oxl and thv lopuoll as looio m po- IUU, JOE BRANT'S WATCH. TJip lll-tory or it Tln'iP-rlf co SpiiI to Aiiiit lcn lylPirBO H'. An ancient silver time-piece, valua ble for its historical associations no less than for its antiquity, is owned by Mr. Daniel Minthorn, of Watertown. N. Y. It weighs five and a quarter 1 1 o-.n rmiiM old: vet It .,.,,1 1! '-,n vniirs kcops good time when wound, and has i not ben ropaired since ion. . j u" WHICH lri OI the nattern Known as mu "British bulls-eye." and is an inch and ...... .... I., ,.f 11 K-nr ' The face is of silver, ill mill UIH.'K. i..i,in .nw nf tiTrnVs. both tho Arabic and Horn; numerals appearing. H bears tho mark of the maker, Thomas Linhard, .. r .....i,. .,.,,1 tin. iiiunber 110. A Ul nuiiui'u, ,n n.v. .- -- v,,.m-ch thromrh ancient directories of the citv of London, made by Mr M la I thorn at the Centennial Exposition, ro 1 vcied the fact that this jeweler did business on Fleet street, between tho years 10.18 and 1658. The works look ' as substantial as though tunOl out ' yesterday. A tiny chain that winds , around a drum takes tho place of the 1 spring in modern watches, and the cog wheel and pivots are all large and i heavy. Tho silver casos are very thick. The works can be removed 1 from the case or box, and when inside are retained in place by a thick crystal i that would flatten a bullet. ! When Sir William Johnson owned Johiwmtown, In Montgomery County, I this State, and laid claim to consider".- I ble other land, he was a great favorite with ICino- Ceortro III. AsQ mark of i his favor tho King sent t'(& watch across the water to the nobleman. That was just before the war of the Hevolu- tlon. and wiicn Jos'ph Brant, the In- j ditui leader, started on his death- I spreading expedition up tho Cherry j valley, Sir William gave him the time- ! piece as an incentive to deeds of J violence ami piimgo ag.misi uu..- , ists. Thayendanega, as Brr, was j termed in the Indian tongue, promised to bring back forty white scalps in re- , turn for the gift. Settlers were massa- creu oy me score, urn. urani s o.iiuui tiou suffered too, and in one of the ( dashes the riots made agaiii' his -ear this watch w captured. ' One of the few ffiimeu who escaped :he Indiiius was" Irs. Mabie, who lied by the lignt of tho burning stacks and barns of her homestead to the woortj i Sho had her two babies under her arms, uid all hid under a huge root in tho orest on the banks of Orris Kill CreekJ While the Indians wore near the heroic mother choked her infants' cries and was forced to throw water in their faces to revive them. After tho savages had departed sho walked . . I OlrriltCDIl miles to Schohaire with the babies. One of these was afterward the mother of Daniel Minthorn, the present owner of the watch. The time-piece fell into the hands of Evart Van Ep0. a revolu tionary olliei, and by marriage into the Minthorn family, where it has re O.ained ever since. Two years ago a big monument was unfiled a'oBant ford. Out., to tho memory of tho old rhayendenega. Tho residents invited Mr. Minthorn to come with his watcli and take part in tho exercises and of fered him 100. The old gentleman refused very indignantly, and wrote' to the Monument CoiOaitteo: "Do you suppose I would assist in a celebration to do honor to a man whose only good deed that !uQ.- of was his neglect to ito scalj) my mother?" X. 1". World PERFECT MANNERS. Huli s Whlrli Will MnltB Thine Who OI- servp Tlioni Popular l'.ivorltex. Never try to outshine, but to pleaso. Never press a favor where It seems undesired. NtnQ- intrude ill-honith, pains, losses or misfortunes. Never 'jnnvoidably wound tho feel ings of a Trunin a being. Never talk or laugh aloud In public places or upon the street ovor lorgei mat vulgarity na i i i 1 . ti .. i its origin in ignorance or selfishness. Never urge another to do any thing against his desire unless you see danger beforo him. l)n net nsk another to do what vou lil nrit li.-t irlml tri iln inwlitt almiliii circumstances. Never omit to Qrforni a kind act when it can bo done with any reason able amount of exertion. Never needlessly wound tho vanity of another or dllato unnecessarily upon disagreeable subjects. Do not make witticisms at tho ponse of others which you would wish to have made upon yourself. Hoiuember that good manners ox uot are thought filled with kindness and ro llnemeiit and then translated into bo havior. Be not ostentatious in dress and de portment; nothing can be more vulgar. See that costumes fit the time and oc casion. Bo rude to nono; rudeness harms not ovon thcO""ihlost and poorest to whom It is directed but it injures tho ox hlbltors. Never treat superiors with sorvlllty or inferiors with arrogance. Speak as kindly to a day laborer as ono occupy ing a high position. Always give precedence to elders, visitors mid superiors. Offer them the best seat tit the tablo, the bust place by tlie tiro and tho first of ovory thing. (So further than more form and see-that they are comforUblo and happy. J)es Coal is now found in about thirty litft i-t 'it Muu of the Unlou and seven IVi-rium.ttj. lu 1HS7 the little SlaUt of Uii-.a - l-;.tud .applied li.OoO totu out u Hi i.nul product U 1W.W6.5 tons. -A German chemist has found that Jtuoroforin may be deUM-Usl in the iuun uti. inula four wyU after death. SWIMMERS OF FAME. IVntior the Poet Hjron, Itpiijnmln Frank lin mill Oilier Noted Men. The recent feat of Stovo Brodle, the uowsboy, who a few years ago leaped from Brooklyn bridge, in swimming from Albany to New York in a little over six days, thus beating Captain Paul Boyton's record, is without paral- jej jn tll(, hjgt0ry of swimming. Even Loander, who nightly swam across the Hellespont, a distance of f mllcs to vtsit his lady-love, would .... . . . .. . probably have demurred at a six-days' trip. The u.ifortunato lover was finally drowned while making his nightly voy age, but this lias not deterred several who wished to imitate his example. Lord Byron, who was well developed in liis arms and chest, succeeded in swimming the Hellespont In an hour and twenty minutes, and it is much to be doubted If a lover over made better time. Tho poet was a great swimmer and proud of his accomplishment, yet ho nearly lost his life at ono of tho English watering places, being rescued in an exhausted condition by the lookers-on. The English channel has long been a favorite resort for swimming feats. Captain Boy ton swam across from France to a little town In Kent in less than a day, while Captain Webb, thir teen years ago, swam from Dover to Calais, a distance of thirty miles. In twenty-two hours and forty minutes. On" of England's Admirals, who rose to his position from that of a cabin boy, got his first, commission for his prowess as a swimmer. During the naval war between England and Hoi laud two centuries ago tho Admiral ol tho English fleet found that he was lost unless he could communicate with a number of his vessels that were hidden from his sight beyond a projecting point of land. Tho only way to send an order to these vessels was by swimming, for it would have been impossible for any boat to make tho passage. A cabin boy, a strong, athletic young follow, who had run away to sea. undertook to carry the order. Holding it in his mouth he swam through the smoke of the battle to tho reserve vessels, brought them up in time, and saved the day. Tho annals of our navy record many similar gallant deeds of sailors whoO have risked their lives in tho filter, while every year the Government awards medals to people who have saved others from drowning by their ability to swim. Indeed, ono of the greatest of Americans. B'jamin Frank lin, was a famous swimmer, and wrote tnt, .i.i.i! iV"liii uiiKiunt iirli1i)i iiPit in. WlJUU CJVi.JJJU M IliUU l VJ toresting reading, row men have pos sessed such command over thenftlvea in the water as ho, for he was not only able to lly a kite while iloating, but on one occasion floated asleep on the water for an hour. While in England, work ing at his trade of printer. h'r) swim ming iQats caused him to bo so much talked about that at ono time ho had serious thoughts of opening a swim ming school. The exploit of Brodie will doubtless lead many to undertako risks ox long distance swimming, but it will do far more good if it awakens general inter est in an accomplishment which is not only likely to prove of great uso to it? possessors, but which can honestly be classed as an innocent and healthy iiinusoniont. Button Globe. DOZENS OF DEFINITIONS. ' Heail Tin-in, unil Then You Will jU'Of' i What Constitutes u I.hiIjt. O' j To answer this qustion, wo will again have recourse to the dictionaries, j Johnson defines a lady as a woman ol i high rank; an Illustrious or ominent woman; a woman one of the fair sex; a mistress, importing power and i dominion, as lady of the manor. This I is broi(l)enough, U would scorn. O Stormonth giveHaieso definitions: A woman of distinction or rank; tho wife of a titled gentleinan;thotitloof daugh ters of peers of the first three grades; a familiar term applied to the inistrQi or female head of a house of tho better class: a woman in any station of life who is possessed of refined manners und kindness of heart, and generally whoso character is adorned with those Chris tian and social virtues which moil most love and esteem in women; a torm of courtesy applied to any respectable female. The fifth of thO above defini tions Is a remarkably good one, if it were not narrowed by tho idea that Christianity alone comprised all tho highor virtues. Webster's definitions may bo next considered. A lady, ho tells us, is a woman who looks after tho domestlo affairs of a family; a mistress, the female head of a household; a woman of social distinction or position; tho fonilnlno corresponding to lord. In England, ho further says, it is a title prefixed to the name of any woman whoso husband Is not of n lower rank than a knight, or whoso fathor was a nobleman not lower than an earl; also, a woman of gentle and rellnud manners; the feminine corresponding to gentle man; a wife or spoiiso. Worcester is moro satisfactory, It would seem, in his definition, at least to the American notion of what consti tute a lady. Only ono of his dotlnltious need be quoted. Ho says n lady is a term of complaisance applies! to almost any well-dressed woman, but nppro prlately to one of refined manners and education. Motion JhraUI. Among tlie latoet establish man U in Now York Is ono that rents the linen portion of bridal ixitdU. They are tanned at fiuia $2 to $10 per month, the httU'r being the OuUlde limit of time occupied by the average wedding tour. C