K
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.
Plaster of paris is boing driven out
of Paris by wood pulp, which is made
to serve the sumo purposo cheapor.
A sooloty has'beon founded in Paris
for tho f&l'jnUflo study of tho mouth
nnd ltsncoossorios in their various
affections.
A now mothod of deadening floors"
Is to fill tho spico bonoath a iloor and
tho coiling below with shaving mado
lncombustlblo by saturating them in
, "thick whitewash. It is said that this
shuts out tUo sound more effectually
than cement.
It has boon calculated by Prof.
Ilogors, of Washington, that tho dynam
ic power of a slnglo pound of good
steam coal is equivalent to a. man's
work for ono day; tliroo ton, for twonty
years, and onosquaro milo of a seam of
coal only four foot thick will roprosont
tho labor of a million man for twonty
years.
A jiow candle has boon brought out
which extinguishes itself In an hour.
This It doos by m sans of a tiny extin
guisher of tin, which is fastened in tho
wax by wires and which effectually
porforms Its task. It Is only necessary
to remove this diminutive extinguisher
when Its work Is done, and tho candle
is again ready to burn another hour.
Tho scientific authorities In Europe
seem to have decided that horso-llosh
Is Inferior to hoof as an article of diet
Tho question was long ago sottlod iu
tho same way by the common practice
alike of civilized and savage races,
who havo found that tho flesh of tho
well-fed and soft-muscled ox Is far los
likely to resist tho work of dlgostlon
and assimilation than tho tough and
stringy flbors of tho ho."ao.
A plan has boon contrived for gen
erating steam for motive power at tin
smolters, through the uso of slag, th
latter being dumped Into largo, shallow
vessels, which are afterward run under
boilers, and tho heat usod In generat
ing steam. In somo experimental tests
of this now method It was found
capable of maintaining as much as
Bovonty-llvo pounds1 prossuro on a
vortical holler for soven days, thus In
suring a groat economy.
In a lecture on "Foods," recently
given in London by Dr. B. V. Richard
son, tho lecturer said: "There is un
othor vory oxcollont food now becom
ing common, viz., tho banana. Tills Is
one of tho host of foods, contains 74
per cent, water, 20 per cont. fuel, 5
per cont. flesh-formers, and 0.7 per
cont. mlnor.il. Comparing those figures
with those furnished by milk, namely,
8G por cont. water, !) per cont. fuel 1
por cent, flesh-formers, and 0.7 por
cont. mineral, wo might almost look
niton the banana as condensed milk.
According to Professor Sargoant,
tho strongost wood In tho United States
is that of the nutmeg hickory of tho
Arkansas region, and tho weakest tho
West Indian birch. Tho most olastlc
is tho tamaraok, tho white or sholl
bark hickory stand lug far bolow it.
Tho least olastlc, and the lowost in
specific gravity, is the wood of tho Ileus
aurea. Tho highest spoolfio gravity,
upon which In goiiortl dopunds value
as fuol, Is attained by the bluowood of
Texas.
Small whlto globulos of porcelain
nro mado In Munich. Thoy are mado
to take tho plaoo of ordinary load shot
usod for cleaning wine and medicine
bottles, as porcelain Is ontlroly free
from tho objootlon of producing lead
contamination, which Is often the result
when ordinary Hhot Is usod. Tholr
hardness and rough surface producing,
whoa shakon, greater friction, adapt
tho porcelain shot well for quickly
cleaning dirty and greasy bottles, and
thoy are not acted upon by acids or
alkalies; almost any liquid can be usod.
American Journal of Pharmacy.
IT WORKED WELL.
An ICxculliuit Itnolpit for Snttllnc I)Ihhri"
libln l'ainlly FuiiiIm.
A denizen of Cass aveuuo and a resi
dent of Third avenue havo long been
enemies. Thoy fell out about a piece
of land, and as time wont by each grow
more bitter. The other day tho Third
avenue man went to a mutual friend
and said:
"Look hero, but It Is vory foolish in
II and me to bo onemlos."
"So It la."
"lie is a fine man and a good oltlzon
nnd 1 want to bridge tho ohaam. Will
you holp moP"
"Cortulnly."
"How shall I proceed?"
"This noon you coma ovor to my
barn and got my horse and lead him
ovor to H.'s. Toll him It Is a horse you
think of buying and you want his judg
ment." "Hut Pvo hoard ho hardly knows a
horse from a cow." i
"Exaotly, and that's whoro you'll got
him. It will bo a grand appeal to his
vanity."
At noon tho horso was lod ovor. At
ono o'clock ho was roturnod by a
strange man, who oxplninod:
"Tho feller Hont him back by mo,
because he and tho other feller havo
boon shaking hands and shedding toara
for tho last half hour. Never saw two
brothers more loving." Detroit Free
Press.
Domestic Intolllgonco.
Woodbury, who la n Waco
Mr.
(Texas) bunker, does not llvo very hap
liily with hid wlfo. Thoy have fro
quont Boonoa. Ho does not go out
much, but alio imulo lilm go to tho
theater or n change. After tho piny
was over sho uskod him how ho llkod
It
"It's too much llko our homo Ufa for
io to enjoy it vory much," ho replied.
"What do you moanP"
"It was ono booiio right uftor au
othor."-- Tcxa$ Silings..
A SAGACIOUS SETTER.
The Seir-Imponeil Duties of a KcniBrlcahta
Mnrjrlantt Dog.
Benedict, Charles County, Md.,
boasts of tho most sagacious setter dog
in tho State. Tho dog, Bob, is a largo
whlto-and-llvorcd-colored setter, about
ntno years old. Ho Is actually tho
proporty of Captain Jones, late of tho
Weoms Lino of steamers, but nominally
ho bolongs to any and all residents of
Benedict. Bob has free access to any
of tho rosidoncos or stores at all
tlmos. Mothors utlllzo him as nurso
for their Infants, and Bpb sooms to do-
light in taking caro of tho little onos.
Ho will Ho down on mako a pil
low of himself for tho comfort of
any child, and is caroful not to movo
for fear of waking a sleeping infant
Ho knows who has authority to romovo
a child, and will not countonanco tho
approach of any othors when a child Is
loft to his caro.
Two stcamors stop at tho town wharf,
but Bob only goes to moot ono of thom.
Ho scorns to keep a mental record of
tho two nights during tho week on
which his steamer is duo, and is always
on hand to meet her, and boforo tho
gang-plank is put out, Bob goo3
aboard. Ills first self-assumed duty is
go ovor tho steamer and Inspect each of
tho deck-hands, and if a strango ono is
found ho spends considerable tlmo noar
him and carofully sizes him up. After
that ho novor forgots him. Ho
noxt visits tho onglno-rooms, pays
his respects to each of tho officers,
goes to tho steward and Is fed.
If tho ofllcors go to meals or ashoro.
Bob takes up his post at tho
gangway, and hero his most acuto por-
coption is brought Into play. Passon
gors or othors having business aboard
aro grootod with a wag of tho tail and
other demonstrations of satisfaction,
but idlers aro glvon clearly to under
stand that tho shore would bo tho
safest place for thom. Tho steamor
usually remains nt the Bonedict whnrf
all night, though at tlmos sho goos up
tho river after frolght, returning tho
samo night. While oven tho passon
gors aro seldom advised of tho designs
of tho ofllcors as to tho steamor, Bob
seems to havo an intuition as to when
sho is going, nnd if It is tho intention
to roturn to Benedict, ho will remain
aboard; if not, ho goos ashoro.
Not long sinco Bob started ashoro
carrying a cholco bono. Boforo ho
reached land ho saw several hungry
looking curs waiting for him. Bob
halted for n moment to commune with
himself. Ho then stopped overboard,
on reaching a place that suited him,
dropping tho bono, which sank in
about threo feet of water. Bob wont
ashore, and an hour lator, when tho
coast was clear, swam to tho spot, and
nt tho first divo came up with tho bono.
Whenever children aro playing noar
tho water. Bob will bo found with his
woather-oyo open, In caso tho re should
bo an accident. Old ago Is beginning
to toll on tho noblo dog, though ho still
attends to his duties, and will go to tho
field with anyone ho knows who goos
Bhooting. Ho was a good flold dog in
his day. Whon ho dios, ho will bo
mourned by both young and old resi
dents and visitors of Benedict. Balti
more Sun.
Dainty Cotton Fabrics.
Tho markot is crowdod this season
with tho prettiest of low-pricod dainty
cotton fabrics, which willonablo womon
with modorato pursos to dross charm
ingly at llttlo oxponso, provided thoy
make suitable soleotlons and make the
fabrics up in simple stylos. Thoro nro
sheer lawns Imported in lovoly tints iu
monochroino, India and Fronoh mus
lins, sprigged with bunchos of shaded
vlolots, swfiot pons, or pink and whlto
carnations, etc. Chambory fabrics are
very lino and dolicnte, and those in
boxos aro bountifully embroidered.
Heliotrope, prlmroso and pink zophyr
gingham, with whlto or tintod stripes,
trimmed on tho bodico with loops and
bowB of velvet ribbon. Palo-bluo, gray,
and strawborry ginghams aro cool and
frosh-looklng, and In Paris tho largo
plaldod and chocked French ginghams
are usod for boaoh and travolingdrossos,
with jaunty bodico of plain gingham
matching ono of tho colors in tho plaid.
Tho skirts aro as stylishly adjusted as
nsummor silk, and thoro aro bonnot or
hat and parasol on sulto. N. Y. Post.
Big Nosos In Japan.
Tho prwonco In tho city of Loo
Mapano, a Japanoso, whoso noso fur
nishes him tho moans of earning a liveli
hood Mr. Mnpauo bolug a smeller of
tea recalls the fact that In Japan tho
noso is tho only feature which nttraots
nttentlon. Tho noso determines tho
beauty or the ugllnoss of tho faco no
cordlng as it is big or llttlo, This is
probably duo to tho faot that ditToronco
hi nosos constitutes about tho only dis
tinction between ono Japanoso' faco and
another. Tho oyos aro invariably black,
tho ohook-bonos high and tho chin ro
codlng. In Japan a lady who has a
huge proboscis is alwayd n raging
boautyanda roignlng bolle. Thoro nro
fow largo nosos among tho natives, nnd
lucky is ho or sho uponVhom nature
lavishos ono. In all Japanoso pictures
representing supposedly boautlful wom
on tho artist turns himself loose on tho
uoso. Kansas City Mines,
Tondor-honrtod lady "You look
worn out, poor man! Aro you HIP"
Tramp (sighing heavily) "I couldn't
bogln to toll you, mum, how I have suf
fered from nourasthonla. But I think
I could oat anothor pinto o' thom upple
dumpling
Tho black walnut troo will out a
figure on our farms in tho future. It
can bo mado as profitable as tho apple
tree in localities whoro it will thrWout
ulL
ARAB FANATICISM.
Frightful Seonot or Bn'f-Tortnre Wltne 1
In Algiers.
After an Interval ono of tho playora
was "Inspired by Aissa." With a yell
ho throw asido his tambour, rushed
into tho center of tho ring, commenc
ing a frantic dance. Tho Makaddan
(head of tho ordor) aroso, and taking
his burnous from his shoulders en
deavored to enfold tho now contorted
brother therein, but with fearful vio
lence tho other solzod It, wound It
about his porson, tossed It over his
head and stamped It undor his foot.
Tho noise of tho drums grow loudor
as tho subject bocamo more frantic.
Wo clung to our seats In cold terror as
the voice of our guldo camo to us In a
calm whlspor: "No matter what hap
pensonly koop cool; thoy will not
harm you!" Now another has become
"inspired." Tho monkey sorocms aro
repeated again and again. There are
two now throwing themselves In mani
acal ecstasy; tho burnous is between
them; n bunch of broom is thrown into
tho ring; both struggle for it; botweou
them It is lighted in tho furnace:
tholr hands nnd arms aro thrust
into tho flames; ono has also boizod
a butmio of dry llax, has Ignited it,
and to my horror I soo him press tho
flaming mass to his bare chest and in
to his opon mouth. Soon ho falls ex
hausted and another tako3 his place.
This one solzos a red-hot Iron from the
firo; It burns his hair; smoko arises;
I soo him draw his hands across It, and
lay it on his foot, with yells and howls
of pain; tho master carries him away
and immediately anothor rushes for
ward. I havo had enough and would
leave tho torriblo scono; but this last
fanatic fascinates mo. Ho is young and
Doautiruuy built. Ills whlto "gan-
doura" and bluo and gold jackot seem
ono garment as ho whirls past mo into
tno court, nair, arms, clothing, ono
dizzy wholo. What will ho do what
can ho do more than tho othors? There
is a cactus plant growing in a jar in
one corner of tho court, a species of
prickly pear, with its tough loaves
covored thickly with lonsr thorns. This
ho soizos, as his wild danoo brings him
In its vicinity. Tho woird music swells
and fallsastho victim throws himself on
tho ground besldo tho firo. Crouchins
low boforo tho altar, ho placos his fore
head on tho ground, and, this humili
ated, ho ravenously devours tho thorny
potals. As if this wore not enough, ho
springs again to his foot, and seizing
ono of tho pots of coals, ho twirls it
about his hoad until tho surface
is glowing rod. Tho Makaddan
kneols bosido It. In a socond tho
cruel dood Is done and wo soo tho gray
impression of the boy's mikod foot upon
tho red-hot firo, while ho is off and
away with a cry of fiendish joy, and,
unliko his prodocessor, ho takes his
plaoo among his follows, apparently
without pain. It was too dreadful, too
uncanny, to recount tho spitted iron
tfirust into tho llesh, the knottod cord,
tho inrrod sword-blado. Ono would
havo forced out his eye, but Moham
med, by tho mouth of his servant
Makaddan, forbids tho deed. Another
throw hlnisoli upon a sworu anu a
grey-haired man played with firo as if It
were harmless as earth, Then came a
murmur among tho spectators, tho first
I had hoard, and tho word "scorpion!"
fell upon my oar. Truly I had novor
oxpectod to bohold that most torrible
of reptiles, whoso stlng is instant death
and whose touch is suro poison. But
it was truo. Thoy brought them in an
earthen vossol, and I must confoss that
American curiosity got tho bettor of
American manners, for "soo thom" wo
would, and see thom we did. In color,
a pale pink, in form long and narrow,
with many logs and a squirming side
wise motion llko a orab. Wo shivorod
as tho things wore carried past; but
horror of horrors was reached whon u
lino, tall follow solzod
tore it to pieces, and
ono, foarlossly
dovourod it bo
Commcrcial Ad-
foro our oyos. A. Y.
vcrtiser.
THE MEGALOMANIAC.
Incupxlilo at luil;lii Ills Own Work, Ho
HIlclitM tho I.Ivuh of Others.
"Thoro is an immonslty of trick In
all that Shakespeare wroto," said
Wordsworth to Charlos Lamb. "Why,
1 could write as well as Shakospearo
myself, if I only had tho mind to."
"Yos," wittily repllod Lamb; "all you
lack is tho mind." Wordsworth was
a megalomaniac. It Is said that ho be
lieved his doggerel poem, "Peter Bell,"
was as good as his incomparable "Ode
on tho Intimations of Immortality."
Liko many othors, ho was incapable of
judging his own work.
Every editor receUos countloss con
tributions from contributors who are
megalomaniacs, laboring undor tho de
lusion that thoy aro groat Their ar
ticles aro without originality, negligent
of all grammatical restraints, and rad
ically Indopoudentof tho spoiling book.
And yet thoy think thoy can write; and
thousands of odltors' regrets and whole
stacks of rejected manuscripts can not
undeceive thom.
Novor a week passes but somo minis
ter moots with a megalomaniac, who
thinks ho could excel him as a preach
er. Tho sovorest trials of tho family
physician arise from tho superior wis
dom of their patients, or perhaps tho
good old aunts of their patients, who
liavo somo pot horedlUiry theory which
thoy bollovo Is bettor than tho doctor's.
Tho modlcal megalomaniac is tho blight
of every doctor's life. Yankee Illadc.
A popular pootlKJglns a vorao with
"Softer than ullouoo, stiller than still
air;" and yet, as might bo supposed,
this doas notdowlbe a man whoso wlfo
hastalkud at him for four hours steady.
JloclicsUr l)$t-Fjcpvess.
I
ALPINE FUNERALS.
ynrcr cintomn Prevailing In tho Kcinote
District of the Tyrol.
In ono of tho most wonderful soenos
of "Dor Gruono Helnrlch" Gottfried
Kellor describes tho way In which
funeral used to bo celebrated by wealthy
peasants in remote country districts
Tho mournful hush of tho first part of
tho day, tho touching simplicity of tho
religious service, tho sumptuous meal
and heavy drinking that follow tho ro
turn from church, and tho wild dunce
that concludos tho day, are all dopictcd
with a forco and vividness which has
rarely boon equaled In modorn pict
ures, and tho impression Is all tho
grcator bocauso tho horror which
breathes through tho wholo narrative
is novcr allowed to dogenorate Into
more disgust. Tho dance Is omitted In
Upper Austria, but tho other practioos
are perhaps oven more ghastly.
In those districts it may almost bo
said that ho funeral begins before tho
death. As soon as any man or woman
is supposed to bo in tho last agony, not
only all nolghbors and friends, but
porfect strangers, aro informed of tho
fact and expected to pay a ceremonial
visit. I he guests simply outer the sick
room, take a long look at tho dying
man, nnd go their ways. No prayer is
said, hardly a word isspokon, yet oven
tho chanco wayfarer who doclines to
enter tho house of death on such occa
sions is considered strangely heartless,
After death tho stream of visitors
ceases, but only for a short tlmo. As
soon as tho body has been prepared for
burial a long tablo is spread in tho
room where it lies, and covered with
wino, spirits and cold viands of ovory
description, and hero opon houso is
hold day and night till tho funeral
starts for tho church yard. Whoovor
comes, known or unknown, rich or
poor, is not only allowed, but urged, to
eat and drink as much as ho can. Be
side tho ootlln at least two huge wax
candles which havo been fotchod from
tho church burn dimly, and noar thom
two old women sit or kneel. Thoy aro
paid for their services and supposod to
pass thoir time In prayer. From time
to tlmo thoy are reliovod by others,
and thoy thon usually make a somewhat
lengthened pause at tho table before
going homo. After tho roturn of tho
funeral tho chief mourner invites ovory
ono who has attended it to a hot meal,
which is as sumptuous as ho can afford,
and which usually ends in hard drinli
ing.
Customs or this lcind aro not preva
lent In Carinthia or upper Carniola;
funerals aro thoro conducted with per
lect quiet and (ipconey. lot in some
observances ono may find either tho
irerm or tho relic of much that shocks
us in other districts. On tho whole.
tho arrangements se;m to bo adjusted
to tho prosont religious beliefs and re
quirements of tho oonnnunity, and it is
easy to soo how thoy might degonerato
into such oxoesses as havo boon men
tloned. A simple account of a funeral
In Carinthia will show this better
than any amount of abstract argu
ment.
As soon as tho body has boon placed
in the ooflln and tho room put In order,
the latter is thrown opon to all visit
ors. In a Roman Catholic country it is
natural that rich and poor should
alike wish to say a few prnyors for tho
soul of ono who has boon thoir friorid,
thoir companion, or thoir bonofactor.
Among the educated classos certain
hours aro appointed for tho purposo;
among tho poorer it is usual to keep
the houso open day and night. Dur
ing tho greater part of tho timo tho
mournors pray silently, but at certain
hours ono of tlioni ropoats aloud the
prayers, in which tho othors join. On
leaving tho room, each of tho visitors
is offered a piece of broad find a glass
of wine or spirits, and tho poor are
apt to bo offended if tho offer is re
fused. Among a hospitablo population
this custom can not be considered
strange, but it must bo confessed that,
though tho refreshments aro usually
consumod In porfoct sllonco, It is open
to abuso. Boggars will come six or
seven times in tho day for tho sako of
tho dram with which tholr dovotious
aro rewarded, and as it ofton happens
that no member of tho family is pres
ent, and as no ono would llko at such
a season to bo guilty of an ungracious
act, it Is vory difficult to keep a proper
check on such persons. Saturday He-
view.
Advantages of the Silo.
Evon though ensilage mado from In
dian corn hius no more feeding value
than tho samo amount of material dried
Into good fodder, tho dlfilcuUios and
oxponso of curing and caring for tho
dried fodder aro such that ordinarUy
tho silo Is preferable.
Tho usual waste from feeding dry
fodder Is very considerable, while for
ensilage It need bo nono at all.
Feed can bo more compactly socurod
In tho silo than In any othor way.
Husking, cribbing and grinding corn
nro useless operations for tho most
part, and are expensive nnd in a meas
ure wasteful; nothing is added to tho
vnluo of tho crop by any of those pro-
cossos.
For tho Northern corn bolt smaller
varieties of corn will givo nearly or
quite as much feedlug mntorlal as tho
largo varlotles, with loss labor to han
dle them.
If tho farmer has not planted nny en
silage corn ho can still uso his field
crop for that purposo if ho desires to
till a silo.
Lastly, tho clovor crop, in my judg
ment, la a very promising candldato
for ensilage, and tho farmer who trios
it for tho silo will bo well ploased with
tho rosulU. Prof, Iltnry, in Breeders'
Gazette.
A MINUTE'S WORK.
loino or the Thing That Can Do Done In
Slit j-Second.
"Well. well, don't fret: I'll bo there
in a mlnuto."
But, my friend, n mlnuto moans a
good deal, notwithstanding you effect
to hold It of no consequence, urn you
evor stop to think what may happen
in a ininuto? No. Woll. whilo you
aro murdering a mlnuto for yourself
and ono for me. before you get ready
to sit down to tho business wo havo In
hand. I will amuso you by telling you
things that may happen meantime
In a mlnuto wo shall be whirlod
nround on tho outaido of tho earth by
Its diurnal motion, a distance of thir
teen miles. At the samo timo wo shall
have gone along with tho earth, in Its
grand journoy around tho siyi, 1,030
miles. Pretty quick travollng you say?
Why. that is slow work compared with
tho rate of travel of that ray of light
which just now reflected from that
mirror made you wink. A mlnuto ago
that ray was 11,100,000 miles away
In a minute, over all the world, about
eighty new-born infants havo ouch
raised a wail of protest at tho fates for
thrusting existence upon them, whilo
as many more human beings, weary
with tho struggle of life, have opened
their lips to utter tholr last sigh.
In a minute tho lowost bound your
oar can catch has been mado by 9!)0
vibrations, whilo tho highest tone
reached you after making 2,228,000
vibrations.
In a minute an express train goes a
milo, and a Cloveland street car 82
rods; tho fastest trotting horso, 147 9-Hi
rods, and an nvorago pedostrian of tho
genus homo has got ovor 16 rods.
In each minute in tho United States,
night and day, all tho year round,
twenty-four barrels of beor havo to go
down 12,096 throats, and 4,830 bushels
of grain have como to bin.
If thoro wore a box kept at tho city
hall In tho city of Cleveland into which
every minute a sum sufficient to pay tho
interest on tho city debt had to bo
dropped, tho sum so dropped each
minute of tho whole year would be
eighty-seven cents.
How about tho National financos?
Woll, sir, in tho samo way, each min
ute, night and day, by the official re
ports for tho year 188G, tho United
States collected $639 and spent $401.
$178 more than necessary. Tho Interest
on tho public debt was $96 a minute, or
just exactly equal to tho amount of
silver mined in that timo.
Now, in tho residue of figures I givo.
you will romembor that thoy represent
so much for ovory mlnuto in tho year.
All tho preceding figures should bo so
considered. And romombor, also, that
wo aro all tho time, hereafter, tilking
about facts connected with tho whole
United States.
Tho telephone is usod 595 timos, thn
telegraph 136 timos. Of tobacco, 92.)
pounds is raised, and part of it
been usod in making 6, G73 cigars,
somo moro of it has irono up in
ha
and
the
smoke of 2,-92 cigarettes.
But I am afraid that you will forgot
that wo are talking about a minute,
sixty seconds of time. No? Woll, thon,
ovory minute 600 pounds of wool grow
in this country, and we havo to dig
sixty-one tons of anthracite coal and
200 tons of bituminous coal, while ol
pig-iron we turn out twelve tons and
of steel rails threo tons.
In this minute you havo kept mo
waiting fifteen kegs of nails havo been
mado, twelve bales of cotton should
havo como from the fields and thirty
six bushels of grain gone into 149 gal
lons of spirits, whilo 66 in gold should
havo boon dug out of tho earth. In tho
samo timo tho United States Mint
turned out gold and silvor coin to tho
value of $121, and forty-two acres of
tho public domain havo been sold or
given away. Cleveland 1'ress.
Hearts That Are Always Young.
A ploasant, cheerful, generous, chari-
tablo-minded woman is never old. Hor
heart is as young at sixty or sovonty as
it was at eighteen or twonty; and they
who aro old at sixty or sovonty aro not
mado old by timo. Thoy aro mado old
by tho ravages of passion, and foollngs
of an unsocial and uugonorous nature,
which havo cankered thoir minds,
wrinkled thoir spirits and withered
thoir souls. Thoy aro heartless, dull,
cold, Indifferent; thoy want the woU
sprlng of youthful affection, which is
always cheorful, always active, always
engaged in somo labor of love that is
calculated to promote and distribute
enjoyment There is an old age of tho
heart that is possessod by many who
havo no suspicion that there Is auv
thing old about thom, and there is a
youth which novor grows old, a lovor
who Is ovor a boy, a Psycho who is ever
a girl. N. Y. Ledger.
An Atrocious Memory.
Tho conversation had turned on
the
husband's shortcomings.
"1 ou havo a bad memory, Maria
an atrocious memory, ' said tho hus
band, wrathfully.
"A bad momory, John?" repllod tho
wlfo. "how can you say so? You kuow
I novor forgot any thing, and you know
ovory word 1 havo said of you Is truo.
There Isn't n woman allvo with a moro
acccurato momory than mlno."
"That's tho trouble with It, Maria,"
replied John, as ho jammod his hat
down ovor his oyos and started down
town through tho poltln? rain, "you
remember millions and millions of
tilings you ought to forget Darn such
a memory!" Chicago Tribune.
"Are thoro too many doctors?"
asks an exchange. No, thore aro not
half enough, but thoro nro too many
men pretending to be doctors who ure
I PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
Said a rich man on tho evo of de
parting this life, tho othor day : "Do
not let my son bo brought up to sit in
a club window." Boston Gazette.
Tho Phrenological Journal says:
"In choosing a wlfo, bo governod by
her chin." A man is apt to bo gor
orncd by the samo thing after ho gota a
wife. Indiana Farmer.
Judge "You say you waut a di
vorco from your wife?" "Yes, If your
honor ploaso." "But reflect for a mo
ment that you havo lived together
nearly half a century." "Woll, haven't
I suiferod long enough?" Texas Sil
ings. Smlthers "Miss Parkor sings
much bottar than sho used to. Hor
courso at tho Conservatoire has Im
proved hor considerably." Wilkins
"Improvod? Well, I should say sol
Shek'.nws whon to stop now." or
pcr's Bazar.
"Young man," he said, "why don't
you givo up this lifo of Idleness and
luxury and try to make a name for
yourself?" "Twy and mako a name
for myself? Why, my deah sir, my lit
tle Elfish foxhound 'took tho first .
pwizoat the dog show, B'jove!" If. Y.
Sun.
"Have you seen Mrs. H.'s now dia
monds?" quoriod a fem.vlo caller of her
friend. "Yos, indocd, and I should
think sho would-be ashamed of thom.
They aro not largor than peas, and did
you notico the flaws In both of thom as
big in hickory nuts?" Elmira Gazette.
Clara (oxhibiting photograph)
"Uow do you liko it?" Hattio "It's
perfoctly lovely." "You think it a
good llkonoss?" "O, no; It' doesn't
look a partlclo llko you, you know; but
I wouldn't mind that, Clara; you are
not likely to havo such luok again if
you sat a thousand timos." Boston
Transcript.
An American tramp foil from a
ferry boat tho other day, and by the
tlmo ho was rescued ho was washod so
clean ho was ashamed of himself and
slunk away to a lumber-yard to wait
for pitying night to hido him. If he
will just go to somo mountain resort
that advortisos "no dust" ho will soon
look liko his old solf. liurdclte.
"No," said tho housemaid, "1
don't apologize to a man when 1 throw
a bucket of water down tho front steps
to wash 'om and ho corao3 along and
gets dronchod. I'vo tried apologizing,
but I've found thoro's nothing you can
say to a man in that caso that will
satisfy him." Scranlon Truth.
Mamma (to daughter) "Did ht
propose?" Daughter "No, but ho dii
the next best tiling to it" Mamma
"What do you moan?" Daughter "Ik
kissod mo and squeezed my waist, ani
Mary and Tommy saw him. "Mam
ma "Got your things on at once, mj
darling. Wo can get down to Mr.
Brief's before the courts closo if Are
hurry." Town Topics.
Reporter (to statesman) "Will
you bo a candidate for " States
man "Excuse mo, young man, but 1
havo nothing to say, I am entirely k
tho hands of my friends." Roportor
"Do you think that your health is
sulliciontly robust to under " States
man "Nothing to say, young man,
nothing to say. My health is also in
tho hands of my friends." Epoch.
"Tommy," said tho old geutloman.
stonily, "1 undorstimd that you wert
hanging about tho polo grounds this
afternoon, instead of boing at school.
I won't have you wasting your timo iu
that way. What on earth could you
see or hear by pooking through a knot
hole in tho fence?" "I could soo you,
pa," respondod Tommy, "sottln' on the
gran' stand, an' shoutln' "Good boy,
Danny!" Tid-Bits.
CHINA'S STATE PAPERS.
Itemarkiihly Ablo Documents AVrittcn I
tho Sloit Perfect Stylo.
A writer In tho Chinese Times, ol
Tientsin, discussing the contents of the
Pckin Gazette, says that tho usual docu
ments are remarkable. Tho imperial
proclamations ospocially aro always
composed in tho finest stylo, and it
often happons that papers of moment
"aro written with extromo boatity and
perfection of composition, vivid with
grace and majesty of languago." Evon
In tho minor reports theso rare merits
are to bo soon in tho closenoss of stylo,
fitnossof expression, cloarness and con
densation; and whoro analysis, or
reasoning, or prociso judgmont is to be
presonted, tho papors show tho hands
of masterly writers. Tho extreme di
versity of tho papors is what would
strike tho mind of a foreign Inquirer;
somo treat of high politics and of great
ovonts; othors deal with crimes, ques
tions of disputed inhorltinco; others
again are tho reports of commissioners
appointed to investigate tho conduot ol
high officials In tho provinces, und
those show "rare analytical power,
mastery of detiil, and untiring labor."
The writer thinks that, judging of what
Is known of "slow ways, tho enforced
secrecy, circumlocution, and official and
personal inlluoucos ofton brought to
boar at homo, tho methods of China nre
In somo ways moro direct, oxpodltlous,
and fair, as far as tho indication of
justice is concornod." Tho translations
which are published are those mado at
tho British logatlon at Pokln, and wore
originally undertaken by tho direction
of Sir trodorlck Bruco. At first, Sir
Thomas Wndo was tho translator, nnrj,
ho was succooded by tho Into M
Mayors. In reference to theso transli
tlons, the writer ulready quoted says
that thoy aro of high and uniform ox-
oollonco. and that Mr. Mayor's transla
tions of tho "lino dispatches of Tso
Tsuug-tang, concerning tho long and
arduous campaigns in the northwest,
are, as military narrations, scarcely In
ferior to tho descriptions of battles und
operations of war by Sir WilUfun Na-pter."
vmU Philadelphia Inquirer.