The Oregon scout., January 13, 1888, Image 7

' GRAND SNAKE ROAST.
An Able.ltoilleil Ynrn Coming All tho War
from tho l'aclllc ConM.
"I was reading something in your
paper about snakes the other day,"
said J. D. Andrew., an Oregon pio
neer. "Let mo tell you of a peculiar
experience. I had with snakes. 1 have
a farm on the Mollalla, a few miles
frm Oregon City, near an oblong,
'ivak-covered hill, called Rattlcsnako
Hill, which .for years has just been
swarming with them. In tho spring,
when the weather gets warm, rattle
snakes coma out of the ledges and
drift down on the creek bottoms, be
coming very troublesome. My farm
being only three miles away, these
voptiles become each year more and
more troublesome, endangering espec
ially the lives of my children, who, de
spite all I could do, would persist in
going about barefooted.
"Well, a year ago last spring they
swarmed into my wheat-field so thickly
that I couldn't cut it when it was ripe.
This may sound odd to you, but it is a
fact. Hut I got some of my neighbors
to help me, and I plowed several fur
rows around the field, and then laid
hair ropes around it and sot lire to tho
-wheat. Well, of all the sizzing and
frying and strange squawks and noises
you ever heard, we had them there.
Such a lot of rattling and leaping up
and displaying forked tongues, I don't
think anybody ever before saw. Of
course, they ran from the fire, but the
hair rope on tho further side turned
them, until wo had a complete circle
of firo around them.
"Well, when the wheat was burned
otr there were thousands of deail rattle
jsnakes. They wore thicker in the mid
dle of the field than anywhere else,
and were twiste'd and tied together in
knots and bunches almost as tight as a
liarrel. I guess we must have made a
clean sweep of them that time, for
tlioy have never put in an appearance
there since." Sati Francisco Examiner.
ANDY JACKSON'S HOME.
.A Visitor' Account of a Cull at the llcnnl-
Attention by Alfred, the old servant
of General .Jackson, is quite the same
to all visitors at tho Hermitage. His
politeness on llie arrival of visitors by
its manner conveys the idea of com
ponsation of favors. On an occasion
lie said: "Sit here in tho hall till I open
the windows." On entering the parlor
he said, not loquacious, but with an
interest which repetition does not
lessen: "That's General Jackson's
picture, painted when lie was President
by Mr. Earle." Then he called atten
tion to another by Healy four days be
fore the General died.
"All this furniture was his anil sits
just where ho left it. That's the last
cup and saucer used by the General;
this is his snufl'-box. Tlioy didn't use
.snuff then as now, but put a little of it
in tho nose. That's his pipe. The
General usually smoked a cob pipe.
Them was his goose quills pens and
inks you know. Here are some Injiu
1ouls. I suppose the head chief gave
ihem to the General after peace was
made.
"That's General Coffee," resumed
Alfred, pointing to a portrait. "That's
Lis adopted son. 1 hope to bury him,"
meaning he helped to bury him. "I was
forty-one when the General died; was
born anil brought up bore. He bought
my wife in 'Y2 to wait on him an' old
snistiss."
There tire several rare pieces of fur
niture in the building. A sideboard is
one of the most elaborate to bo found.
The hall paper is of French design and
antiquely historical. A Bible is well
-eserved, printed MDXCIII., in Tu
Wngal. Of the live hundred acres in
the farm, there are one hundred in
largo forest trees in front of the resi
dence, half as much woodland besides,
and a fourth as much in garden lots
aind roads. Nashville American.
WANTED TO SMOKE.
The StraiiKo ItcqucKt a Sturdy Ceutoiiarliiii
Mnda of a Frlully Klnjf.
When King Frederick William IV. of
Prussia visited the Rhino provinces in
1841? he Stopped some hours at Wcsel,
Jr. which strongly-fortified town, as the
Jiiillijary commander of tho post in
formed him. tho oldest man in tho
monarchy was thon living. The
King went to seo the oldest
of his subjects and found him a hale
and still hearty veteran of one hun
dred and six, comfortably seated in an
old arm-chair, enjoying his inseparable
companion a short pipe. On tho ap
proach of tho King ho roso and ad
vanced a few stops, but tho King made
aim sit down, aim couverseu quiio
freely with him, the pipe, however, not
leaving tho old man's lips a moment.
On parting the King asked
um ii mi mm imv wi&u liiiil iiu
could gratify. "No, your Majesty,"
was the reply, "I thank you;
I have every thing I need in this
world." ''Have you, indeed? Just
think a moment; wo mortals generally
have some wish or other." "Well, sire,
on second thought 1 might ask a favor.
My physician insists upon my taking
a walk every day on the rampart.
Every time 1 pass in front of tho pow
der magazine tho sentry hails mo from
n i&tancc, crying out 'Take
ouiof your mouth,' and as I
tho pipe
can ad-
vnnco but slowly my pipe goes out
every time. Now, if your Majesty will
bo gracious enough to give tho order
that tho sentry shall let mo smoke my
pipe in poaco tho whole of the way 1
hall esteem it the greatest boon of my
remaining days." The order was given
and tho old man enjoyed tho privilugo
for upward of two jears. dying with
Ids pipe in his mouth. Paris American
UNCLE SAM'S ARMY.
What Is ltequtrrtl of Young Men DeMrniM
of Kntlntlnj; In It.
"Then what few men are out of em
ployment and want to go into Uncle
Sam's service are most of them not up
to tho standard," said Lieutenant Cu
sick, who is in charge of the recruiting
office recently moved to Portland from
Pittsburgh, Penn. It is the lirst
opened in Maine for a great many
years, perhaps tho first since the days
of the wai. The Lieutenant continued:
"Tho United Stated army wants
l,.r)00 men at once to bring its strength
up to the 25,000 required by tho act of
Congress So far wo have had but 21
applications in Portland, and only three
of them have been acceptable. Of the
other 19 there was one 'out' or another
that compelled us to reject them. Fully
two-thirds of them had defective eyes.
One eye was not so good as the other.
In the. army a man must have good
eyes that ho may become a good marks
man, ami that he may be able to dis
tinguish different objects. One eye
should bo as good as thi! other so that
in case of temporary injury to an eyo
the efficiency of the soldier may not be
impaired. Dissipated habits, too much
rum and tobacco, are common causes
of these weaknesses of the eyes. In
many eases defects of vision have been
produced by blows.
"Then in chest measurements and
weight we find frequent reasons for re
jecting applicants, especially in the
fall of the year. The hard work of sum
mer reduces the weight and the girth of
the chest. We have a regular system of
measurements, and it will not do to de
part from a standard in a single partie
tir. For the infantry service we lake
none below ii feet 4 inches in height,
and none over 6 feet !1 inches. For
the cavalry 5 feet -I inches to 5 feet 10
inches are the limits. We don'thavc
any tall cavalrymen because they are
liable to get too heavy. Light, tough
men are wanted for the service. Now
for the shortest infantrymen, 5 feet 4
inches, we require that he shall have a
weight of 128 pounds, a chest meas
urement of .'H inches, with the anility to
expand his chest 2 inches by drawing
in a full breath. Then these require
ments of weight and chest measure
ment are higher for taller men. A
man o feet 8 inches tall must weigh 141
j pounds at least, measure 34 J around
' the chest, and have a chest expansion
of 2.1 inches; for Si feet 10 inches the
required minimum is l.r."i pounds for
I weight, iSii inches chest and 2J ex
pansion; for G feet the weight is 1G9,
j the chest measurement !HH, expansion
i lit You see, it does not necessarily
follow that a man must be an athlete
I to join tho army, as the tables to which
l the professors of physical culture train
i their pupils to have a standard of chest J
i measurement somewhere near 40 inches
I for a man ( feet tall. Hut wo want
' good average, well-built anil healthy
men, without any defects physically.
So far we have secured three out of
' every twenty applicants. Rut I don't
j thins: this small proportion is any sign
I that the vig r of the youth of Maine is
departing. For many reasons the men
j who apply are not fair samples,
j "Are the inducements offered by the
service sueii as to attract tne most am
bitious young men?" asked the re
porter. "Well, you can judge for yourself.
The soldier gets $l.'l a month with his
board and clothes. He enlists for tivo
years, anil must stay in the service till
his term expires, unless he can get tho
Secretary of War to allow his dis
charge. Hy good behavior he gets an
increase of $1 a month during the third
year of service. $2 during tho fourth
and $3 during the fifth. If he is pro
moted he gets further additions to his
pay. He may become a corporal, a
sergeant, a quartermaster-sergeant, a
quartermaster or a commissary; he
may even go highor, and by passing
an examination before a board of offi
cers get certified for an examination at
Fort Monroe, Va. If ho passes at tho
fort he may then become a commis
sioned officer, starting as a Second
Lieutenant.
"Do many avail thomselvcs of tho
opportunity?"
"The young men who graduate at
West Point have the lirst chance, and
of late they have filled all the vacant
commissions. Practically very few
men riso in the army from tho ranks to
a commission. Adjutant - General
Drum, however, is ono who did. I am
not a graduate of West point myself,
but I served as an officer of volunteers
during tho war, and was then trans
ferred to tho regular army as a com
missioned officer. So I had an oppor
tunity better than falls to the young
man who enters tho army now in any
other way than through West Point.
Yet there nro some promotions oven
now. The commissions of tho army
are also opon to civilians, though this
is not generally known. After tho
West point graduates havo got places,
and the promotions from the rank of
non-commissioned officers have been
made, any vacancies loft (thero are
rarely any, however) aro opon to civil
ians who can pass the ccamlnntions
required." Portland (Me.) Press.
The Paris Figaro says that if you
want your children to havo pretty
teotli you must begin with tho second
dentition to press back with tho (lager
every morning the tooth which have n
tendency to project forward and to pull
forward thoo which tend backward.
As a wash boil in a tumblerful of
water a pinch of quassia wood with a
pinch of pulverized racno. It strength
ens tho gums and whitens the teeth
without injuring tho enamel which
covers tho bono. Wash the mouth
after each meal with lukewarm boiled
water.
TERRORS OF POLYGAMY.
Tho KxpcrliMirp of a Mormon Olrl a Ilc
tatml Itjr llrrxelf.
I have often been asked to marry
Mormons who had wives. I will tell
you about one of them, a woalthy man,
now dead. His name was Franklin
Neir. One dav his wife the only
wife he hail came to our house and
had a talk with mo. Sho said she
wanted me to marry Mr. NeflT. I was
only fifteen, but 1 knew what polyg
amy was, and I had set mv heart
against it. "Well, Mrs. Nofl'," 1 said,
"if lie wants me he'll have to summon
up cheek enough to ask mo himself."
I said this in fun, and then asked
Mrs. Neff what she thought about it.
Site said herself and husband had talk
ed tho whole matter over, and she had
come to tho conclusion that as her hus
band was obliged to take a second wife
die knew nobody she'd sooner have
him take than myself; therefore die
hogged mo when he called to give him
a favorable answer. The proposition,
coming from a woman thirty-live years
old, who had been married for years to
her husband of about tho same age,
and who h d assisted him in accumu
lating his wealth, was at once strange
and amusing. Mr. Net!' called that
same night, anil, in answer to Ids
question, 1 told him that ho must bo
crazy to make such an oiler of marriage
to a mere child, but h insisted that he
was in earnest, and ho went to my
mother who, on account of his high
position in tho church, was afraid to
ilatly refuse him. Mother said sho
would not go against my wishes, but if
he could persuade me into polyganrf
she would have no objection; at the
same time sho warned me not to give
my consent for any consideration.
Mrs. Nell' came round to seo me sev
eral times, and was always urging me
to marry her husband, saying that he
could not live without me, and both of
them would be all the happier for it.
Rut the more sho talked the firmer I
became in my resistance! They in
vited inc to spend a few days at their
country homo. I wanted to' refuse,
but mother said I had better go. I
.vent, and I don't think 1 spent a more
niisorab'o time anywhere in all my
life. The husband was continually
asking mo to go buggy-riding with him
mid the wife was coaxing me to con
sent. Still, I thought 1 saw that the
woman was unhappy. She seemed to
be doing what she did against her will.
A ball was given in the neighborhood
and I wanted to go. Mrs. Nell asked
mi! to go with Frank (that was her
husband's name), but I said no, I
would go alone, unless she agreed to
go along. She agreed, and we went.
That man tried his very hardest that
night to dance, with me, and his wife
even asked me to dance with him, but
I kept plenty of engagements ahead
with the young fellows and ho got no
dance.
Some one then told him that I would
not dance with him while Mrs. Noil'
was present, so he told her and she
went home. After she wont he .came
to me and said she had gone and he
hoped now he would havo the pleasure
of a dance, but 1 continued to make ex
cuses and avoided him. The time
came to go home, anil I refused to al
low him to accompany mo unless there
was a third party along. His brother
Amos accompanied us, and after leav
ing hie at the door tho two men went
j to Amos Nell' s house. I found Mrs.
Nell' in her room in tears a more
heart-broken woman I never saw. She
, had been sitting thero fretting and cry
ing and mnnniuj for hours, thinking
that 1 was dancing with her husband
and that 1 was coming homo alone with
him. And only the night before she
had sat up with me until twelve o'clock
trying to talk mo into marrying him,
making all sorts of promises, and say
ing that herself and Mr. Neil' would
write out deeds for one-half of all the
property and possessions they had if I
would only give my consent.
Sho begged mo not to say any thing
to her husband about the crying scene,
as she said ho would scold her for it;
but I said I thought it my duty to tell
him, and also to 'let him know tho
opinion I had of him. I told Mrs. Noff
not to griove, as I would never cause
her tiio slightest sorrow, and sent her
to lied a much happier woman than I
had found her on my coming in. Next
morning at the breakfast table Mr. NefT
said something about polygamy. That
was all tho provocation I wanted. I
said: "Mr. Noll', if you were any kind
of a man at all, or had even the com
monest human instincts,, you'd lot
polygamy alone; 3011 have a wife who
is too good for you, and who loves you
better than you deserve stick to her
and lot other women alone." Then I
told him the condition in which I had
found his wife on coming from the ball.
His face grow white, and, laying down
his knife and fork, ho arose from tho
tiinlo and loft the room. I went home
that morning, and neither saw Mr.
Nofl nor heard from him again. He
never went into polygamy, and I felt
very glad of it for tho sake of tho
heart-broken little woman, to whom a
second wife by her husband's sido
would havo meant a speedy death.
Salt Lake City Cor. Troy (N. Y.) Times.
An Honest Man Indeed.
"Reg pardon," ho said as ho hur
riedly ro-ontorcd tho car, "but did you
find my wallet on tho seat?"
"I did, sir," was tho prompt reply.
"This is tho one, 1 prosumo?"
"Ah! thanks! You aro ah honest
man."
"Oh, no thanks no thanks. Tho
fifteen cents, two shirt buttons and a
recipe for making hair wash wore no
temptation to my principles!" Detroit
tree I'ressr
IN FRONT OF A MUSEUM.
An lntructlvc Harangue Orllvorpil by a
Ilimrry AiiiUMUiient Orator.
"Walk up, ladies and gentlcmon,
and pass inside. Every thing in plain
sight, and as represented. Two nickels,
or ten cents, admits to nil, and no ex
tra charge for tho lino symphonies of
Mozart, played upon a caliope by a
roval dude, from Dudcville, Dude Co.,
N." J.
"In this elegant museum nro congre
gated not only tho seven wonders of
tlie world, but seventeen thousand oth
er freaks "too numerous to mention, and
enough to set you crazy, and whose
rare and varied attractions have not
only paralyzed tho crowned heads of
Europe, but have caused some of them
to get up before daylight and foot it
nine miles in a rain storm in order not
to miss this show.
"Here we have the Rocky Mountain
Saiilanapalus. the Sacred Horned Toad
of Texas, and the tabooed I mean tat
tooedwoman with her back hair done
up in a gill net. Hero we have the
Redouin chiefs from Ragdnd, just as
they appear on the sandy plain of
Sahara, eating prickly peal's and drink
ing mare's milk; tho Patagonia giant,
who is nine feet high and talks Penn
sylvania Dutch in ids stocking feet; the
fat girl and the living skeleton; the
bearded lady and the freckle-faced
farmer of the Long Island tints; the
black boy turning white and the white
boy turning black. I'll be honest with
you about this curious freak of nature,
ladies and gentlemen, for the fact of
the whole business is, it's just this
way, when he is in ono end of the room
ho is the black boy turning white, and
when we tote him over to the other
end he is the white boy turning black.
We aro honest about this because just
now the boy is 011 ids standstill, and
we don't know exactly what kind of a
shoot he will take, but you will find
that he is a splendid dapple boy.
Here we have the humpback buzzard
of the Ganges; the wild men of Chica
go, captured after a long and fearful
struggle, in which they sandbagged
nineteen of the ship's crew and picked
tlie captain's pocket; birds of beautiful
plumes and appetites like a hired
mnn's; artless apes, and the man with
the iron jaw. who eats a hotel hcef
sto ik every fifteen minutes to prove his
marvelous power. All of which, and
hundreds and thousands of other at
tractions, are now opened to your in
s lection for the ridiculous sum of one
he o.nme dime. Children under ten
years fifty cents a bunch. Walk in,
l-iilics and gentlemen, walk in!"
Tuxus H'linyi.
NOT THE SAME CROWD.
An Incident Dc-ici Iptlvn of l.lfn 111 Woitorn
Dakota.
"Say!" said a bushy-headed man,
stopping us as we were driving into a
Western Dakota town "say! you're
the same fellers what was hero throe
or four weeks ago workin' the thimble
rig game, ain't you?"
"No, sir; we were never lioro be
fore.". 1 replied.
"Yes you was. Can't fool me. You're
the head feller, and went into Zob
Tippo's saloon and th rowed threo-eard-mouto
ami passed a ten-dollar bogus
bill at tho bar."
"You're mistaken. Wo never wore
any of us in tlie town before."
"Sure? .Well, you're jes' such a
lookin' crow 1 anyhow, an' you're the
very piotur' of the leader I spoke of.
Afterwards ho worked loadod dice on
the boys, beat tho hotel-keeper out of
five dollars makin' change, an' stood
tho sheriff off with a gun."
"Yes?"
"An' ono of Ids partners that looked
'zaelly like your partner thero got on a
box in the street an' sold brass jewelry
an' foro ho left boat tho county treas
urer tradin' horses an' stole a noun'
dog of Alf Jenks."
"Any thing olse?"
"Yes; there was a littlo squint-oyed
cuss with them that resembled your
other partner poworfnl close, an' ho
sold quack med'eino on another corner
nn' held a tenderfoot up back of the
big livery barn for his watch. Whon
'foro they left tlioy cashed a bogus
draft at the bank an' tho head feller,
that looked like you. tried to bunko
the Methodist minister. 'T's mighty
strange the powerful r'somblanco there
is 'tween you fellers an' thoni you,
'specially, and the head feller with
that crowd; but, como to think about
it, you can't lie the sumo one, after all,
'cause I beared that they went on up
to Deadwood, where ho was afterwards
hung for hoss-stoalln'. Well, no
o'fence. any how good-bye! Rut, say!
If yon'vo got any of thorn games I
mentioned, better look out, 'cause tho
boys are kinder hot 'bout that other
crowd yet." Chicago Tribune.
A Word of Warning.
A German Lieutenant took occasion
to change his orderly. The now order
ly, while rummaging his master's room,
found a note intended for himself. It
read as follows:
You will find tho boss a pretty good
sort of fellow. If mui brush his clothes
good and make h hoos shine, ho will
treat you lik" 11 gentleman. Hut lot
mo tell you one th ng, don't fool with
his cigars. Tlie blankety blank fool
counts them every night. Omnibus.
It Must Be Unpleasant.
"Never marry a widower," was tho
ndvico of a young matron to a friond.
"Rut you married ono. Why?"
It's bad enough to have to hoar
nbout yo'ir husband's mothor's cooki
ing, but to have his first wife's biscuits
thrown in your face every morning U
simply unbearable." Tid-llits.
Nearly two hundred kinds of gold
fiUiug oru'now made for teeth.
SUPERFLUOUS DUTIES. '
Hon- Many Women Makn 1 1 mip-Keeping
a Terrible llurilcn.
A woman's instinct, of cleanliness is
so strong that she will actually squan
der time in unnecessary work, just as
a squirrel iu a cage will storo up nuts
by force of his instinct of accumulation.
If some house-keepers had double tho
time at their disposal thnt they havo
now, yet they would manage to occupy
it with superfluous duties. Rut this is
going farther than any semblance of a
reason can attempt to excuse. There is
no sense in working liko this.
A woman can bo a good liousc-krepwr
without taking all her time to do her
housework. If sho can not, let her
after all be satisfied to be an ordinarily
good one and take somo of tlie time
from her previously self-imposed
drudgery for reading, education of
children, self-improvement and for
recreation. There is no reason why a
long programme of work should bo
laid out for every day, nor why it should
be carried through at all hazards. If
each hour of tho day is arranged for
some kind of work, one hour at least
ought to be set apart for recreation,
and that hour of all others rigidly ob
served. These housekeepers who aro facing
so much supurlliious work every day,
never think of doing such a thing as
reading a newspaper or gathering in
formation that will enable them to im
prove the quality of their work. They
do no; know what is taking place in
the world, of which they aro so small
a part. They liko to listen to other
people's tales but never think of in
forming themselves by reading or ob
servation. The children ask her ques
tions that any one would be supposed
to bo able to answer, and are sent to
somebody else for reply, or put off with
no satisfaction at all. The' soon como
to the conclusion that mother isn't sup
posed to know any thing outside of
housekeeping.
The reader has seen tho more agree
able housewife who is not always fur
bishing up something and yet who has
a house so clean thnt no sonso detects
any tiling unclean, tho housewife who ii
a companionable sort of person, at least
fairly woll informed regarding the
events of the day as well as her special
daily duties, and who finds time (o get
out of that everlasting grind of work
that extinguishes a manifestation of
Wioscwuiunnly and motherly instinct'
that may make her an adorable wife
and mother if they are not laid aside
for that perpetual cleaning and multi
plying of work that make everyone
uncomfortable at home. Such a house
wife is by no means a rarity, and her
opposite, the one who squanders time
in superfluous duties, ought fo culti
vate her acquaintance. Hood JlouSc
keening. THE QUEEN OF SPAIN.
Scuslcle 1,1 fo oftlin Woman Who Unlet tho
SpunlariU lor Her Ilaliy Son.
If Queen Christina of Spain went
pretty, she would carry all lief ore her;
unfortunately, she has tlie sort of com
plexion which English doctors term
roseate a complexion which would
ruin the effect of the most peifcctly
niodeled features. It's a pity that her
hands and feet are so long. Don't
mind my saying so, but in their arms
and tho extreineties 'of both sets of
limbs 'the House of Austria shows more
than "traces" of descent from Darwin's
common simian ancestor. I dare say
it would be a vast relief to the Qiieon
Hegent if she could wear gloves when
she takes her public sea-bath. Fortu
nately for her, there aro pockets in her
tunic, into which sho sticks her lingers,
and so hides their extreme length uiul
sinewy anatomy. Sho carries a sun
shade that nearly hides her face. She
gives it to tho bather in the water,
and he slings it by tho strings on his
nrm.
Tlie marine attire consists of lint
shoes, stockings, pantalettes of tho
zouave kind, with deep frills hiding
the ankles and a short tunic. For the
promenade after tho bath and her
Majesty is frequently to bo met liko an
ordinary mortal walking along with a
baby Infanta clinging to each hand
sho wears usually n black cashmere
skirt, with horizontal bands of crape
and a casaquo trimmed witli crape.
Her veil is very long. Sho has a figure,
that lends itself well to drapery, al
though tho shoulders aro rather high.
Wo hear that sho smokes cigarettes,
having learned to do so as a girl at
Vienna. Her cousin, the Archduchess
Matilda, who was to havo been Queen
of Italy, was a confirmed smoker, and
lost her lift) through thrusting the
cigar behind her back, on seeing an
unci t on the terrace under a window
at which she was smoking. Sho forgot
that sho had on a muslin dress, which,
coming in contact with it, at onco
caught firo and blazed up. This .will
explain why Quoon Christina has no
objection to Ministers smoking in her
presence at Aranjiiez.
Tho littlo King is a jolly sort of
baby. Ho is the imago of Queen Isa
bella, and enjoys being noticed and
shown to tho crowd, to which ho blows
kisses with a pair of little, fat hands.
He goes through this form of salutation
witli all his heart, and his eyes jump
out of his head with glee St. Sebastian
Letter.
m m
Not h great while ago ono man
told another that ho believed he had
resorted to deception in tho carrying
out of his plans. This did not seem to
excite tho accused. Rut the spoaker
went on: "I say you cither resorted to
deception or you wero oiitgonoralod."
As soon as ho made this charge tho
man was greatly roused. Alas! how
many thorn are who would father bo
recognized as scoundrels than consid
ered to befools. Christian Advocate.
VALUABLE LANDS.
Whoro Cocklo-llurrt, Saml-IIurr anA
Tiimblu-Wccilt ("row In 1'rofimlon.
He wns silting iu front of a sod
house in Nebraska, near tho Niobrara
river, smoking a cob plpo and occa
sionally pausing to whlstlo n few bar
of "Dixio" as ho gazed lazily but ad
miringly at a semi-circle of dog
stretched on tho ground around hint.
We drove up and inquired how for it
was to Valentine,
"Dun no, stranger," ho roplicd. .
"Havon'tyou over boon thorc?"
"Yes, I Mow I';o been there."
"How far do you think it is. thonf"
"It might bo 'bout seven mile, then,
sho might bo nearder ton innkos a
heap o' dif'renco what you do down
whero the road forks. Say, don' waufc
'o buy a good farm. I reckon?"
"Don't believe wo do."
"No, I Mowed not. Secms's if Icaa't
never sell out."
"Whero you going when you sell
out here?''
GeVl'incn, I shal pull back to Mis
soory!" "Can't you raiso good crops horef"
"Can't raise iiothiu' on this farm
'cept ciickleburrs. That's wliat'I call
it, gen'l'inen, Chuckle-Burr Homo! I
got'nother farm out on tho Hat f or
der." "That must bo poorer- soil than
this."
"Doggoned sight wus. Can't raiso
nothiu' but sand-burrs there. 1 call it
Sand-Burrs Place. I got ono othor-'
farm down nearder tho river."
"That seems liko n better location."
O, yes, somo you can raiso red
tumblo-weeds on that land it's Timi-blc-Weed
Retreat; that's tlie name of
It."
"All for sale, nro thov?"'
"Every ono of 'em. Buyers can taka
their choice bo ween Tuinbl vWeed Ro
treat, Sand-Burr Plaeo or Cuckle
Burr Home they all got their good,
p'ints. Tumble-Weed Kotreat com
mands a good view of tho river an
more muskeeters; Sand-burr Place is
level and nice, but is exposed to tho
wind; Cucklc-Burr Homo is sholtorcd.
from the wiuil, an' there's fourteen
hndger holes on the back forty, an' a
feller can take a dog an' havo pilea o
sport with 'em. I'll take the Homo for
mine every time I'm poweiful on
sport. Coin' to shack along, air you?'
Well, if you seo any body that wants
to buy some land of 'bout this d'serip
tion jes' send 'oni out I'm goltiii'
mighty anxious to bo nioseyin' down
round old P ke ag'ii." F. II. Carruth,
Tho armies on tho continent
amount, we aro told, to 9,847,081 mon,
and the cost of training, maintaining
and furnishing them with munitions of
war, amounts to tho enormous sum of
040.000,000 yearly. How can tho.
nations prosper under this grinding
weight?
Social otiquotte atPorkln is under
going a revolution. Tho marquis and
niarcliionoss of Tsong visit freely at all
the foreign1 legations and recoivo visit1
of foreigners at their homes. This i
directly contrary to
former custom.
nnd tho inference is
drawn that flia
courso of the marquis
is instigated by
tho higher powers.
Kov. Adirondack Murray says of
the lying capacity of the French Cana
dian: "There is a childish enthusiasm
about it that captivates you. Ho' smile
as he lies. Ho lays his hand on his
heart; ho lifts Ids eyes upward; ho em
bellishes his little He with saintly allu
sions; lie lies as if ho believed his own
lie."
Within tho past forty years numer-
ous attempts have been made to intro
duce the English skylark Into this coun
try. Largo numbers of tho birds havo
been brought over ami liberated at vari
ous points from Delawaro to New Eng
land, but without exception the blrda
havo disappeared at oner and neror
been heard of again, except occasion
ally, after intervals of years, report
come of ono being hoard iu somo part
of tho country. Abroad they flourish
from the south of England to Scandina
via. Why they dio in this country no
ono knows. Somo think thty do not
die, but that tho country is so big that
tlioy scatter over it ns soon as landed,
and aro swallowed up in its immensity,
as it were.
FAULTLESS FAMILY MEDICINE
"I havo used Simmons Hvor
Jtcfrulator for zn any years, hav
ing made It my only Family
Modlclno. Hy mother before,
mo was very partial to It. It Is
a safe, rockI Md rellablo medl
clno for any disorder of -tho
system, and If used in tlmo In
a grtat preventive of ttekntt.
I otton recommend it to my
friends, and shall continue to
do bo.
"Itov. James M. ItoUtns,
"Pastor M. K.Churoh, So. I,alrflold,Vft.w
TIME AND eODTORS' BILLS SAVER ft
always keeping Slmmonm JUvew
tleuulatot In the houue.
"I have found Simmons liver
Kegulator tho best family med
lclno I ovor used for anything
that may happen, have used 16
In JtulloettloH, Colle, Vlurrluta,
JUltoutnet, and found It to re
Hovo immediately, After eafc
lnir a hearty supper, tf, en Belmr
to bed, I take about a teaspoon
ful, 1 never feel the effect or
tho suppor eaten,
"OVID O.SPAIIKS,
"Kx-Mayor Macon, Qft."
JWONLY GENUINE"
IIju our Z SUmp on front of Wpfr.
J. H. Zoilin A Co., Sea PrqrhiHVi