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About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 25, 1887)
OREGON SCOUT JONES & CHANCEY, Publishers. DMOX, ORKUON. THE DRUMMEi.. The drummpr saw an EZ way When ho SAatosell; i He spreads before you an KA Of samplr s that XL. Then talk and talks with NRO , Until you DZ prow, And, feeling he's your NME, An 10 manner show. You say you don't want NE thing; Ho IT ho displays, Then, pettln;? mad, cay TJI fling Him out in KO stays. Ej'11 SQ then to toko a "smile" And tell IIS nut tulo And thun LA your anger whtl In I'O Uo malms a sale. If you should CK place to hldo With g'oo ba'll CQ, too. And when at EV leaves yur iU Uo'ssold hlsgocola-AU. A drummer cannot CA snub And wtl) XQ'scklch, Uko "Z doesn't fear a club And to UK will stlok, O, what IIEK rtrurnmar shows And what an IN Jaw. He saves LI sonsu for ho knows That 1ST can tho law. II. O. Ifcxlgo in Detroit Free Press. AN ANNUAL CHESTNUT. Tte man stands on tho tipsy box. With all his rcanon fled. And glares up at too Gtovcplpo joint Ho holds abovo his head. Hlfl hands are block with polish paste, His toco tat&onl with coot; And down hb onus and down his hack Sharp pains unnumbered shoot. Ten thousand ways, ten thousand times, IIo'b tried to in.afco n f.t; Tho mora of ways and tunes ho's tried, Thu mora ho la from It. Him wlf and children nro outside, All petrified with fear, Awaiting tho cntaRtropho That comes tills Umo of year. Then comes n burst of adjectives, And Uicn a madman's roar. And a man and box with earthquake shocl'.s, And stovcplpo. flood tho floor. Tito doctor comes with arnica And llttli) bllrtor cup; Tho tinner coined, as UMinl, And imta tho stovcplpo up. Omaha Sunday Bee. THE MAN FROM CHICAGO. The man from Chicago went forth with a brng; .And backed up his club with tho loBt of his bwi; Then gathered mora polf to put up on tho team Yrom thu place whom tliruo brazen baiU ovul gleam; "Where ho soaked his timeplcco and his now over coat In keeping his uncertain credit afloat. Xiko tho wind on tliu lako when tho winter Is krcu, TtioCulcagos went forward ail vurdnutaud green: Xlke a cannon flivemrker on Uhj Kpurth of July, xnatciuti in tlie morning wan cnlpjiur and "fly; Hut like the wimo cracker on tho llftli of July, That club in thu evening was knocked high and dry; Tor the Bt. Louis boys spread their bats on the blast. And hammered the llfo out of tho balls that thu; cast. Till they carried tho day with their skill and tlieii ' spunk, And walloped their foes with a staggering skunk, While the prldu and tlio hopo of thu grout wliulj town "Was picked like n chlckon and tnily done Drown Vow the man from Chicago wiio staked his wholi pilo Taradfs tho city with nover a Binllo; While down u back uiloy his fantasies float Where Isaac btauds guard o'tr liU nuw overcoat. St, Louis l'ost UiuiHitch. , ... 4 t A QUESTION OF ETHICS. ' JTalr Mary was my boyhood's flamo, When I wah nine and hho nineteen; To all the swains who courting camo Her ready answer was tho Hiiuio: "I guess I'll wait for Johnny Green 1" Just what tho maid was pleased to mean I will not now pretend to claim I only know slio was my quecu, Uorillil auotlier Mop between Till I myMilf nineteen locamo. How, I relnlo tho fact with .lin.mo; I cannot think my coiiRcli'm-o clean Hut Mary's love npivarluj; tamo In ten years playing at thu gamo, I craved her hUter Josephluu. A fairer mnld was never seen; A host of lovers cried her fame; But had I any right to lilamo Her wish to wait for Tommy Oree n, Wbou Unit's my llttlo brother's unmo? Walter Clnrku in Tho Century. OER NORT SEIT TRAGEDY. The shades of night wero dim afar When Suilthers tool; an open car; Tlio air was cold and drvur and gray And every zephyr seemed to say Hay fover. The hanMtaeked K'ts wero chill and bare, And BmUhershat and khlvorvd there; While wliUtllng winds did shrilly blow And ever seemed to whlsjter low . "Neuralgy." The mules Hew wildly down the track, The night ulr crept down Smlthor's back. The camaH curtains round did slinke, And ov'ry draught liruuxht lu Its wake I'licuiiioiilu, John Kmlthers bluw his weeping nose Aud bhufllcd round hit frosted tots; Bui erJ ho rcuohed liU lmmblo door Alas I poor Bmlthvrs was uo moro (unsumptlou. Chicago News. THE WHEELMAN'S WOE. Tlie melancholy days have come, The saddest of tho cycle; When earth's no hard it breaks one's neck To fall from a bicycle. -Life. Aphorism from the Quartern. )o coolos' kprinK Uiiloa do clonost 'mongtt 4.0 rocks. LnV 'ear's hot joH cools olT mighty fas', Light nigger too much for do ao'-back lioivv Do nicller apjilo give fa'r wnmln' 'fo' U fall. Do tioUo o do wheel don't modjer tie load ta do wagon. Wild gooso in do wheat tW don't go to Jeeiv. Twon't lio'p do crop to plant n new f angled ort o' corn will llf tocn cers to do mil; on da jo' brooimtraw flol'; dat sort o' land got all it kin do raisin' one tvr to do hill. Do dug dat try to scratch n molo out de Stouh' ain't got 'nough odicatlou to hurt Wind horse know when do trough empty. Tar'p'n on tlu log U Jos' safe us do nnl fox te do buhes,1yV. Macoti lu Century, SILL NYE ON ECONOMY. A Few riillonoptilciii Iletnnrks on the Various Grade of Unrber Simps. I read an essay recently on tho, lnslilo of a valued exchnngo on tho subject of economy, which greatly interested mo. It related to tho great expenses which really nggregntcd from littlo ones, and dealt with tho matter of dally papers, bootblacks, sharing expenses, baths, etc., and showed how millions tit tho pcoplo's money wero annually squandered In this way that ought to go towards buyln; Itooks. Tho articlo fot mo to thinking, uid resolved to iuvestigato IX I was mora espe cially taken with tho Idea of cxtravaganco in tho matter of barbers and barber shop, i ou can go to a gorgeous shop and pay fifteen cents and a tip for a shave, or you can go whero you can avoid tho tip, or you can go to a ton cent shop, or you can get shaved on tho Bowery for ilvo cents, or you can ignoro tho wholo business and let tho wind blow through your whiskers. Last week I was thunderstruck when found how much could bo savod by changing from a fifteen cent barber to a flvo cent bar ter and keeping it tin for a year. Countin 800 days as n fulr cstimato of tho number ou which I would bo apt to shave, I found that by tbischnugo I could havo at tho end of the year !0, with which to buy books or cross barred trouwrs or any other means of intel lectual improvement which I might cliooso, I could buy ono of thov expensivo books that Air. Do Lux occasionally gets out, or I could hear l'atti or buy a small yot fragrant dog for $30. I could also buy myself somo moro hair or get my tooth filled. I could tako a classical courso on tho banjo or buy an intor est in a bird dog with $30. But I wanted, moro than anything elso, to got moro books. I wanted a new photograph album most or all. An album with Illustra tious In it, to lay on tho parlor tablo and ex plain to strangers lu low, passionate tones, is a nover onding sourco of pleasure to the thinking mind. When a frontispieco showing tho proprietor as ho looked withsido whiskers, and later, a view whero ho was photographed with chin whiskers aud holding a war tlmo plug hat in hw swollen bunds; with n picture of grandmother holding n blblu as though it might bo a glass bomb, and a front view of n sightless child that makes up for its total abscuco of eyes by introducing a soul stirring mouth that would muko u goldon haired ball of North Carolina butter turn whito in single night. With all theso llttlo Fpecimoi of plastic art, 1 often think timt n photograph album will do more toward entertaining u mixed company than any other literary work witli which 1 am familiar. Bo I went into a low priced barber shop a week ago aud began to snvo $30 for tho pur pose of milling to my librnry. I soon dis covered that m a live cent barber shop you get loss consideration ami a lower grado of hither up your noso than elsewhere I lieliovo that tho man who shnves you for flvo cents makes his own soap. Possibly ho works up some of his fattest patrons that way. Anyhow, tho soap hu uses smells badly and tastes worso than uny soap I have over participated in. At tins price of shavo ono Eaves financially, but ho loses cutaneously, iuocnnir i sal in was not a good easy chair, and the spiral springs in it occnsionully nod to coino to tho surrnco for moro air. became very much attached to ono of those cpnngs, and tho ten cents I saved on tho cliavo I hod to pay n tailor down town who trephined my trousers for mo. Tlie chair was also mentally n wreck, and Its memory was failing, I thought. Just as I would relax my muscles and close my eyes uns touering old chuir would forget Itsolf, and Uo worn out triggor that hold tho head rest would slip about nino cogs. Then with a low death rattlo it would fall nlxiut a foot and disturb my intellectual faculties. You can got shaved quicker for ilvo cents than you can for fifteen, but tho towels nro more clammy and tho bay rum Is rather more of a cbcsUtufc, I JudCO, ButUctt it that I am not going to tontliuio tho coureo of economy Hint I hud inaugurated for loo year, for I um opjHsed to the, hoard lng anil accumulation of a surplus. Honey is tending too much toward centralization any way, nnd I do not want tooncourugo it. While 1 may not be able to secure thu books which I contemplated buying with my sav- lngn, I can visit tho chamber of horrors at tho iluixu tuid improve my mind in such ways by actual observation. Wo do not get nil our education from books. Wo may easily obtain ninny irllnlijg nnd en nobling Ideas from other sources than tho musty tomes which decorate tho shelves of our libraries. Ono of tho brainiest men I over know, if I may Iks allowed tho teiniwrary uso of that term, a man too who had succeeded in uniiiss lng miito a fortune as a ivsiilt of imtivu stu-ewdnesH and knowledge of humuii nature, ouco admitted to mo lu u sudden burst of con fidence, inspired ierbnps by too much wine, thut ho had never read cithor of my books. And yet ho had concealed this grass ignor ance for Ilvo years end amassed a fortune. Whilo tills is a sad commentary ou American galvanized lllitcrncv, It still shows that i man may bo almost criminally Ignorant lu this country and yot acquire sciuls. New York World. All In n Duy'n Work. Fashionable Iowa Damo (In Iown) Dear me) It did not occur to mo until this mo ment that you always have wine at dinner at homo. Distinguished Englishman Do not bother about that, madam. "Oh, it won't tako but n moment. Marie, has tho footman coino back)'1 Mario Yea, madam. "Tell ti i tn to go right to his room am! get sick, then send for tho doctor and tell William to tako tho prescription and a demijohn to tho nearest drug store." Omaha Wurlil. A IIopvlci Cine. Omaha Parson It jou had taken correct views of this earthly exist cuco you would not now be ill. Look at the Quakers. They ru-o tho longest lived people in tho world. Omaha Man I never thought of that. They undoubtedly are. "btntisties prove it. Now, mv frieud, let your own reason explain why it H so." well, they don't havo to sit in draughty churches three times a week with their hats oir." Omaha World. AVlint Mr. Ilritwn Thought. "Where have you lieoui" asks Mrs. Brown at tho theatre of Mr. B., jutt out between tho acts. "Oh, Just out toseo a man," replied Drowa "When did he die I" "When did who die?" "Tho man you went out to so." "What nro you talking nboutr "Well, judging from your breath, It must havo been tx spirit you saw. "New York Bun. Nature's Liivv In tho Slajorlty. Tho Bible contain S.SOtUSO letters, 773,- 740 words, 81. 173 versos, 1,VA) chapters and GO books. Lsehiingu. In some fiiinlllei -wo know of It also contalm seventeen iwlpe for doniestlo purposes, all tue letter tuo oii woman warns to Keep, at least eleven pieces of "fujltlvo ioetry" cut from tho country iv-iper, the family flue tooth comb and something like u halt pock oi autumn leuves. llixler otate. SWINDLERS ABROAD. HOW AMERICANS ARE FLEECED BY THE WOMEN IN LONDON. A Good riaco for Strangers to Keep Away From Sketches of Ilnrlc Ufa In the Ilrltlsh Mctroi.olln A Jilt of Ex perience. Although tho malo swindler h dangerous and much to bo feured, it is tho femalo of tho species thnt rcntw tho harvest. Protected by her sex, tho disinclination of a man to pro ceed against a woman, tho enso with which sho cau blast tho character of a man by tho reason of tho readiness wo accept a story which attributes unholy lust to our fellow creature, are all known factors to her in tho problem of making a livelihood. Beginning at tho lowest class tho Loudon street walker you find them in Loudon, in larger uuiu bcrs, bolder and moro persistent than in any plnco id tho world. Tho larger number crulso about the Criterion, whero thero is a favorite American bar. After 11 o'clock till 1 or 1:30 o'clock in tho morning this congregation is ono of tho sights of tho city, and tho traveler generally sees it. His danger thero i-i not greater than in any other similar company, unless ho should be beguiled by somo of theso midnight sirens. They nro tlicro by thou sands, tho sidewalks and oven tho street itself filled with them nnd thoso who como to bo preyed upon, gilded youth nnd hoary age, dialling, laughing, swearing and singing in ono vast saturnalia in the midst of tho most boasted civilization. 1 ho "bobbies" move among them to keep everybody elso moving nnd watching for lawless outbreaks, of which they havo few to repress, but other ofllcial functions lie docs not assume. Turning from theso tho visitor, with much now mat er for reflection, walks to his hotel. It matters not lu what direction it may bo, strnugo fl 'ures of women will flit ncros his pathway, curious inquiring faces will bo un expectedly thi'titt into his own. and vaguo forms stanaing in oli.scuro corners will ob serve him us ho strays through tho otherwise deserted streets. Beware of tho ono who ad dresses you. Do not reply if you can avoid it, but under no circumstances stop and pnr- loy with her, for you invito ono of tho most common dangers that Loudon offers tho stranger within its gate. Let mo tako an illustration furnished from tho private experiences of n gcntlomnn from Pittsburg who lodged in Husscll squnro, and who strolled home from the Onyety theater by way of Drury lano and Bedford place. Uo had just turned into Bedford square when ho encountered a woman standing hesitat ingly on tho corner, peering in each direction as one who had lost tho way. "I beg your pardon, Bir; can you tell mo tho way to tho Midland stntion? I fear I am lost," she said. Tho polito American stopped. Yes, although a stranger, ho could and would tell her tho way folio w this street around Hussell squaro Into Woburn place to St. Pnncrns' church tho first church on tho right turn to tho right there and tho Midland station would be in sight. Ho was walking part of tlie way nnd would explain further. As they crossed Bedford squaio they chatted casilv until they camo to his lodgings, whero ho stopped and said: "You can't miss your way now." "No," sho replied. "Thank you, much obliged; but you can't go in unless you givo mo 5." And sho got between him and tho door. "Five pounds, my good mndaml What fori" "Pivo pounds. You havo liegulled mo to walk with you, assnulted mo and tried to in- duco mo to coino to your rooms. Fivo pounds, or I scream for bolp." An invalid wife- with in, nu urbs incognita without, a hasty thought of tho condition!), a hearty curso, a smile from tho lady, who pushed tho crisp note into her bosom, nnd our friend was standing nlono, perspiration falling like rain from his forehead. A FUinNU'H ADV1CK. Tho next day ho told his friend, a London friend, nbout it. "Bless your transatlantic heart," said he, you do not supposo that such dangers meuaco ud Why, wo live hero. It is the stranger who ij preyed upon. Should a woman address you ugain ami threaten to scream you seize her by tho wrist and tell her to scream nnd you'll wait till tho olllcera come. Sho'll bioalc away nnd run and you must let her do it." Suro enough ho was soon waylaid again. Tho question was for u chemist shop, spoken in tones so pregnnnt with grief and distress that tho American stopped, despite his resolu tion never to exchnngo a word with the un protected London female. "I wnnt a pound," said tho woman, "uivo it to mo or I w ill call for the police." "ou call them," said the American, seiz ing her arm. "I'll hold you till they come." And sho did call, and tho police camo and es corted them both to the station house. The inspector on duty entertained n cross chargo and locked them both up, Tho nmgistrnto m tho morning lined tho woman two and six, ami told the American his position was open to a vory reprehensible construction aud ho had better look out. Tho American ns so mad that ho paid the woman's line, deter mined that justico such as that should not have tho gratification of locking tho woman up. As n rowniil for all this the newspapers all published n reportof tho "eccentric) Amer ican;" his wifo got well enough to voingo homo on tho Saturday Cunnrdcr, and ho fol- owod nlono in tho Into Star ship ou tho next Tuesday. It was mouths beforo they made up, mid now when on his visits to Lon don, whero his business frequently calls him, ho traverses its streets in n close cab, mid sets well bach in it, too. As a matter of fact tho American is not favorably regarded in any capacity, whether defendant or complainant, in tho English polico courts. London Cor. Philadelphia limes. Tho Oeorglii l'lenlo Kl. And after all thero is no chance for im provement over tho simple (leorgia picnic ;lss, at the inero mention of which thero rise beforo tho vision of all tho old boys daiutv muslins, pinl; ribbons, rosy cheeks and Rem brandt shadow. Tho very nil seems redolent of heliotrope; laughter like tho ripplo of a hidden Iu'iki!. trembles lu the distance, nnd thu good right arm feels again tho faint ti uggloof uioiKvty upon it. How tawdry, how coal's) and revolting seems tho stage tkism compared vuth this. No, tho liest klss- ng after all U what tho circumstances make The circumstances that surround the old frtshlnned Ocorgia plcnio make it simply do- lightful. Tho young man who is led olT by the stage kiss drops the sulfetuuco for tho hadow and is to bo pitied. Macon Telegraph. Kxplalurd lit Last. Dr. Nnrmnn lCerr, of Inidou, explains what U tho matter with diuuknrds as fol lows! "There is an abnormal cerebral condi tion, u dynamical nnd psyehleul disturbance of the bin I u nnd nervi function, n real de parture from sound health, which is itself a pathological state with, in nil probability, Its postmortem equivalent ill byiwrplasma of the neuroglia. " Paste this iu your haU and ivad it to any man that oilers to treat. Ten to ouo he wUJ skiiv-Nuw York Tribune, DANIEL BOONE'S BLOCKHOUSE. IIow the Noted I'loneer of Kentucky Pro tected His I'limlly An Indian l'lan.- Boons began building his blockhouso here on tho 1st day of April, 1775. Tho old pioneer chose wisely his location, and, with an eye only to its utility, choso also one of tho love liest s)ots in tho state. I don't suppose be hud much time to go, llko Ur. byutax, in search of tho picturesque, but it happened iu this install co that ho found it without seek ing. You can plainly seo to this day the marks of tho old blockhouse on tho ground, and a littlo digging iu tho soft, earth with a cino wilt bring up ashes and bits of old pot tery from tho spots whero tho old fireplaces wero. So thero is no obscurity about tho matter. You may stand, if you wish, on tho vcritablo Nebo from which old Boono viewed his promised land, and you may be suro youl foot is placed on tho very soil trodden by th& bravo men nnd braver women who founded this famous commonwealth more than a hun dred years ago. Of course tho chief things considered by thorn who built blockhouses weie the conven iences of water, fuel and provisions, and also nn unobstructed view on nil sides. Standing here on the sito of tho fort, you can seo at a glnncehow all theso advantages nro combined iu this location. You stand perhniis a hun dred ynrds from tho wnve of tho Kentucky river, and jcrhnps forty feet nliovo tho water's edge, for tho bank slopes up from the swift flow ing stream to tho very walls of thu fort. To tho east anil south tho land is level, with not a gully or n bank in it largo enough to conceal a man for half a milo in both directions. In this fortilo river liottoin Boono hail his cornfield nnd raised his bread at tho very door of his castle. On tho west tho ground slopes slowly down to tho unfailing spring wlienco tho gnrnson usually got their supply of water. A well sunk inside tho fort to tho level of this spring, say twenty feet iu depth, would, nnd I believe did, fur nish a bountiful quantity of water when lieslogers rendered access to tho spring impossible. All around are high hills liko the rim of a deep plate, but nono of them near enough to per mit tho guns used in former days to send a bullet into tho fort. No foo can approach except to coino over tlie rising ground whero he can be easily seen from lhoupier windows of tho blockhouse. Ju.t across the river rises the nearest "kpob," nbout 400 feet nliovo tho water, nnd pcrhniis as many yards from tho fort in n straight line. A innn ou top of it would lie outlined against the sky liko a sil houette, for tho sun rises over it iu tho morn ing and sets against it iu tho evening. Altogether this locn'ion h just such ns you would expect of a man of Boonu'.s great good sense to select. It gives him every advantage and puis his assailants at tho mercy of tho gnrrbun. It is related that once tho Indians attempted to undermine tho fort by digging a tunnel from tho steep offset of tho river haul:; but tho dirt, which they wero conijelled to throw into tho river discolored tho water and so lietrayed their designs. No trick nor do- vico could bo successfully used against the people iu tho fort, for tho sharp eyed pioueeis had tho vnntngo ground. Booucsboro (Ivy.) Cor. Chicago Times. Tho Newport Girl A-I)rlvlng. Bellovuo avenue iu tho morning is quito another plnco from Bellevuo avenuo iu the afternoon. In tho early hours of tho day it abounds with pretty girls; they nro pretty iu their fresh morning costumes, flitting hero and there, buying tho littlo odds nnd ends of which woman is in.periietual need. Whntdo theso "buds" want? I asked tho other day. "They drive ui) nnd doun iu their ornate curts, looking liko peripatetic battel Hies; they pause for an instant here, the flutter out there, they light in shop door and reap pear iu a s cond, get iu their vehicles, tho tiger jumiis on behind and off they go, heaven Uuous whero." "It is a part of tho day's parade, was tho reply to my question. A few hours later these same divmo voung- sters will bo driving again through the avenuo likocircus riders, attired iu even moro bewildering toilets than those of the morn ing. Tho NowiKirt girl wears a brilliant car- niiuo gown of soinu soft silken fabric and a little cap of thu sumo material on her head, and sho sits bolt upright liko a ramrod, with the reins held within six inches of her sweet littlo chin, nnd away sho goes, with n tiny, whito breeched tiger holding on for dear llfo Ix-hind the high T cart. There must be some thing in Newport air that lends courage to tho most, timid social flower. I liuvo yet to seo a girl who is afraid to drive a stylish turnout. Kvsu tho .Vy ear-old iiihint cries for a donkey cart, and what is more gcU it. 1 saw ouo of these infantile turnouts thu other day, and it is no exaggeration to say tho white nproned nurso probably put tho whOie all'air in her pocket when Mas er Threesturs grew a-weary of this pastime of driving over the big avenue. Boston Herald. .Musical Instruments of Central Asia. Tim Uzlieg women are jealously kept out of sight, of u malo stranger, even though ho may 1h u distinguish til guest, mid ho is expected to bo uiuused by dancing boys called hatchas and musicians. Tlie musical instruments of central Asia nro somewhat limited iu number. Ouo 1 saw at UoUharu resembled n guitar, forty-six inches long, with f sounding board nino inches by four. It might Im played with a bow or wiUi tho thumb. Another instru ment resembled tho flageolet, and had sonie- lliiiiL'of tho haiilbov sound, or between Iliac and the bagpipe. Singing Is frequently ac companied by men beating tambourines be fore a charcoal lire iu u brazier, over which fiom tiino to lime they hold their iustruinuut.s to tighten tho iKirchnient. Tho Uitclms allow their hair to grow long liko that of girls, and iress iu long flow ing robes nnd wide trousers. Their iH'rformauco interested mo to seo once, nit when related again and ugain itbecaino 'xecedingly tedious. Th musicians on occa sions of dancing sit upon a piece of felt or curvet, dressed in their tall sheep skin huts, wh..i give tho Uzliecs n soinowhnt ferocious appearance. Di; Henry Lausdcll iu Harper's Muguzinc. Mnmmiv Could Iteut Them All. It is reNited that ouo of tho littlo arch duchesses of Austria was taken ton circus where nothing amazed her and very little lenrd her. On her return home the em- peivr asked how sho had enjoyed tho per foininuee. ''Oh, very well," tho young lady replied, "only muniiuu docs everything tho circus women did n great deal lvttr. Why, I have seen her Jump through six hoops," It appears that this is really true, uud that the empress has ou moro than ouo occasion given a strictly private entertainment to her inti mates, iu which sho has surprised them with feats rivaling those of the most skilled circus riders, l!oton Journal, Looking nt Their Teeth. Deceptions of all kinds nro said to lie prac ticed by Ft ench-Cantullun families and mill liaiuh in Salem, Muss., in order to conceal the ago of children too young to work from tho iiiscetorR. lately, however, a member of tho local school board, a dentist, hit U)on a means of overcoming the obstacle, uud now, in doubtful Instances, tho child is or dered to open its mouth. If uo molar, due at tho uge of eleven, can bo discovered, it muM po to school in pito of all protestations. New York Trilmuo. TESTING A GREAT LENS. VISIT TO THE WORKSHOP OF THE LATE ALVAN CLARK. FlnUhlng tlie Object Glass of n Great Telescope I'ollshliic with tho 1'alm ol tho Iliind A I'eep at n Star A Story. In 18S3 I calld to seo Alvan Clark, .the distinguished "instructor of telescopes, who has just died. I found him at his home m Cumbridgeport, Mass. His sons were busy putting tho finishing touches to the great telescope object glass then being mado for the Russian Astronomical ob.-ervutory at Pulkovn. Tho Pulkova objective was to be pluced in i temporary mounting that very nvening to bo tested for tho first timo on celestial objects. It is in tho aftor correction nnd perfecting of tho objective which calls for tho special skill which has mado Alvau Clark's name so famous. The largo objectives, such as the Pulkova and Lick glasses', uro ground and polbhed by machinery. Two levers work iu oposite directions, nnd are so nrraiiged that any part of tho glass surface may bo reached, doing tho work. The final polish, which is of the most delicate nature imaginable, is done with tho surface of the hand. Mr. Clark went so far as to say that one revolution of the hnnd In excess would change tho correction. On n table was the finished Pulkova lens, which weighed -450 pounds, and consists I of two lenses cuch thirty inches in diameter. Qenernlly these lenses are made to accurately fit, and are joined together with Canada bal sam, but in such large grosses as tho Pulkova aud the Lick, they are fitted in a metal frame with nn adjustment so that they ean be made to approach each other, or otherwise. When thoevening wnssuflicienth advanced tho great Pulkova glass was placed in its tem porary fitting hi tho garden. There, was no moon uud tho darkness was intense. Tlie glass nas brought out on a four wheel hand truck ami lifted into the tube by five men and fixed by revolving it iu the screw fitting. Iho tube was forty-tivo feet long and weighed with tho attending fittings about seven tons. Two piles of brickwork supported the whole. There was uo clockwork movement and the rough est apparatus was emplo ed, tho telescope us raised uud moved by a guide rope, tho mo tion of nn equntorial movement being imi tated by using a common windlass. As the motion of tho earth caused the object to pass across tho field of the telescoe, the observer gave the order "follow," when a slight turn of thu windlass kept tho object in view. Such were tho rough appliances used to test thu $00,COO lens. VIEW OK A FIXED STAR. The planets hnd all set, and I had to be sat isfied with a view of a flxed star, which is nn excellent object for testing theoptical proper ties of n lens, but very uninteresting other wise, ns tho larg st telescope can uiako littlu impression ou a fixed star; no disk can be seen, merely a fpeck of light. The star se lected was a small ono, and barely visible as a pale, minute object. On looking nt it with this magnificent instrument its woudmul light gathering powers were at once evident, for the star shone with the luster and brill iancy of an electric light. It was an object which brought out all the imperfections of the glass, and to tho eyes of Mr. Clark nnd his sons many wero evident, nnd, it wns said, two months' work wns necessary to correct them. During the trial tho lens wero lonered Hid fivo men revolved tho glass iu its fitting. Ou its being pluced iu position ngniu one of the sous was uliout to makouuothcr test when tho old man Bhouted: "Wait, boys, let her cool." I was curious to know what this could mean, and Alva Clark explained thut tho cor icction was so delicate that tho l.eat from tho hands of tho fivo men holding thu metal enso of the objectivo would change the correction, so it had to "cool." Iu a conversation with Mr. Clark on the advantages of immense telescopes such as this one, ho admitted that the telescopes of mod erate ojierture, say from ten to fifteen indies, were preferable for general use even for tho highest purposes. Ho spoko with pndo of such an instrument ho hud made, wiih which he had seen all thut could bo seen even with colossal telescopes. Onlv one ilis covcry has been mado with tho Washington telescope of twenty-six inches diameter during its many years of use. The lUissinn Pulkova instrument, delivered by the Chirks in ISb'J, has never been heard from, and thoso who expect immediate and extraordinary results from the Lick thirty-six inch objective will probably bu disappointed. The- huge tele- r-coiH-s uro great light gatherers and useful for photographic and spectroscopic work, but their definitions of the surface of the moon aud tho planets are disappointing. A storv is told of a French astronomer who traveled huudieds of miles to look through thu great Uoss telescope. When asked what he would lilte to see he called for thu planet Saturn, which was then in good position. On looking through the telescope and finding the wretched definition of the object ho said: "You tell mo I havo looked nt tho planet Saturn, so 1 must believe J have done so; but I was not nware of tho fact." John Mic'uels in New York Sun. I'll! I'llllMT" of I'ul ii tin ps. Amateurs of paintings, thut is purchasers, may be divided into tbreo classes, namely: those who pay more for pictures than they are woith; those who e,et them nt their projwr value and those w ho havo a knack of making good bargains. To belong to the third class ouo must almost inevitably pass through tho tlrttuo, uud tlieio are many who spend their last dollar beforo teaching it. Ileal connoisseurs are very rare; thero aie vory, very few experts who can bo implicitly relied on. Somo amateur speculators are very sly and nt times make bold strokes. Hero is a noted example; Mr. W. happened to buy an unknown Ilembrnudt at 1'Hotel Drouot for a mere song. Tho painting was genuine, but, not being known, it was not quoted. To launch it into renown, the owner couceived the idea of putting it up again for sale at l'Hotcl Drouot and of having ouo of his friends, who was iu tho secret, to push it up to fD.OOO. This was a sham sale, for Mr. W. refir.ided the money to his frieud and kept tho picture. But after that duy the llumbraiidt was consecrated and classed, for hi the artistic circles the newly found picture became the topic, of conversation. Then when Mr. W. was certain that desire was ripe In the hearts of rich amateurs he ugain put up the picture nt auction mid this time it brought the round sum of $30,000. Pans Cor. Brooklyn Eagle. 3Iut l'lml Hetter Way. A Kentuekluu with n large jug made a bar gain with a countryman to take him four miles over the hill. "IIow niuch'11 you chargel" "Oh, a couplo of sw igs of tho stuff iu that jug'll make it nbout tquuiv, I reckon.1 After the journey had Uhsii made and the countryman had taken a swig, ho udd: "Stranger, I'm n jeueeahlo man, but if you don't want to Iw chuck fullof lend to-night you'd bet tor find another way to cairy yet molasses." Madison Democrat Cull not that man wretched who, whatever IIU he suffers, has u child to love, Southoy, POBTIiAHD PRODCCK MAKKKT. Bunxa-r- Ibut j .o.i, Ib 30 Oregon , 10- Inlerlor grade 12 (SJ 20 Pi kled H71 30 Calif oi nia roll 1-0 do pickled :8 30 CllEESR Eastern, full cream 15 20 Oregon, do 14 (3 1G California 14 Egos Fresh CA 30 DltlliD FllDITS Apples, qrs, Hks and bx8... 7 8 do California 5 Apricots, new crop 18 28 Peaches, impeded, new ... 12i 14 Hears, machine dried 10 Pitted cherries, 40 Pitted plums, Oregon 124 FiKsv Cal., in bgs and bxs.. 7 8 Cal. Prunes, French 8 (4 10 Oregon prunes 10 12b Flouk Portland Pat. Roller, fbbl 3 4 S Salem do do 4 2 White Lily V bbl 4 25 Country brand 3 SO fift 3 75 Superfine 2 60 2 75 GllAIN - Wheat, Valley, 100 lbs... 1 20 ffl 1 25 do Wal a Walla 1 07J 1 10' Barley, whole, t ctl 1 10 do grou d, t? ton 20 00(5 25 00- Oats, choice milling V bush 40 45 do feed, good tochoice,old 45 w Rye. t? 100 11b 1 00 1 10 Feei Bran, V ton 16 00 (317 00 Shorts. & ton -. lb 10 fell) 00 Hay, t? ton, baled (c!8 00 Chop. W ton f3 f0 2.i 00 Oil cake meal V ton 32 00 (a 33 0C Fiiesh FllDITS Apples, Oregon, W box 00 1 00 Cherries, Oregon, tfdrm... Lemons, California, tfbx.. 4 00 5 OO Limes, 100 1 50 Riverside oranges, box. . . Lob Angeles, do do ... Peaches, 1? box 1 00 & 1 i'5 Hides Dry, over 16 lbs, H? lb 13 14 Wet salted, over f 5 Its 6An 74 Murrain hides one-third off. Pelts 10 (k) 1 00 Vegetables Cabbage, V lb 1 Carrots, sack 1 (X1 THE LUCK OF SOME MEN AND HOW THEY ACCEPT IT. In the grand monthly drawing of the Louisiana Stato Lottery, Oct. 11, two tenths of tho cupitnl piize of ono hun dred and fifty thousand dollars weie sold in this city, the remaining frac tions in New York and Chicago. Mr. Laurent Fnget, a well known broker doing business at 181 Common street, wns the first comer at the lot tery office Wednesday morning, apdr on behalf of a friend, presented for re demption ono tonth of ticket 13,P1G,. entitled to fifteen thoucand dollars. Having received a bank cheek for that amount, Mr. Paget bowed his ac knowledgment, signed a certificate and departed. Scarcely had ho withdrawn when in stepped two gentlemen, Mr. Victor Tuiague and friend. Tuinguo hnd drawn a prize and ho desired to claim it in person. His ticket, 58,480, rep retented two-tenths of the third capi tal prize of twenty thousand dollars,. ami was entitled to four thousand dol lars. Mr. Ttiiaguo is a handsome young fellow, native of New Orleans, appar ently 21 years of age, and with hi father kt ops a saloon at 21U Decatur street. He bouiiht his ticket from a peddler iu his neighborhood, and is thoroughly convinced that fortune is kind in tho distribution of favors. lie received a check for four thou sand dollars on tho New Orleans Na tional Bank like n littlo man, trailed, and wanted everybody to smile with him, and signed for the biggest sum of money he ever received for his indi vidual account, for although his father has usually joined in his lottery ven tures, on this particular occasion tho old gentleman ''guessed ho wouldn't go in," for which unrighteous guess the o. g. is doubtless investigating his horoscope with a view of obliterating ftom the firmament his zodiacal pign. Victor oxpectp to add "& Son" to tho sign which swincs over the door of Iho house of spiritual refreshments,. 213 Decatur street, and to lnvet in such choice properties as he nmy con sider bargains. He will rot loan money at usurious or oven doubtful in terest. Tlie other one-tenth of the ono hun dred and fifty thousand dollar prizes wns drawn yesterday by tho Union National Bank for account of a de positor. iWtt; Orleans Picayune, Octo ber loth. IRE GREAT REGULATOR PURELY VEGETABLE. Aro You Bilious ? Tit Jlrfjulator nrrrr full to cur. I m-.l cheerfully recommend it lo all who suffer fn-m llilious Attacks or any Disease caused by a dis arranged stale of the Liver. Kansas Citv, Mo. W. R. BERNARD. Do You Want Good Digestion ? suffered Mm selv wlthJillStomaeht Hemii arhe, etc. A neighbor, who had taken Simmons Itver Regulator, told me it was a tart eurebr mo trouble. The first dose I took relieved me vert; much, and in one iceek's time luas as strong and hearty as I ever teas. Jt i the best mcdleiiie I rrrr took for l7fu. Richmond, Va. H. G. CRENSHAW. Do You Suffer from Constipation ? Testimony of IIiham Warner, Chief-Justice ul Ca. : " I have used Simmons Liver Regulator U.r Constipation of my Ilowcls, caused by a temporary Derangement of the Liver, for the last three or four years, and always telth decided bmeflt," Have You Malaria ? I J hare had experience vllh Simmons Liter Reqn lator since ISb'S, and regard it as tJie greatest mrtllcine of the tlmt n for diseases pecu liar to ni(ilifl retilotiM, So good a medi ant deserves universal commendation. REV. if. B. WHARTOlf, Cor, Sec'y Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Safer and Better than Calomel ! 1 have been subject to severe spells of Congestion of tlx Liver, and nave tcen in the haL.it of takinc frein i j to jo crams of calomel, which generally laid me up (or three ur four days. lately 1 hare been taking Simmons IJvtr Regulator.which cave me re lief, without anil Interruption to buslnes. MinDLtroNT, Ohio. J. HUCG. J. H. Zeilin & Co., Philadelphia, Pa, ---phici:. ci.oo. V