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About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 7, 1887)
HINTS TO SWIMMERS. " Timely Sucpr tlon for Knthnxlantlo t.orcrs of Aquatic Hport. Now that tho bathing season, for llio pcoplo Aylio Imtho only dnrrhg the sea eon, 13 running on full time and half soup, there will he tlio usual number of "sail cases of drowning" reported in tho daily paper by reporter. who scein to think that tho ordinary drowning caso is a rather joyous affair and great care must therefore be taken to specify the sad ones. Now, iu most instances but for tho gravity of tho subject one might say moist cases tliero is no necessity for drowning. A little care, a little presence of mind and tho doomei swimmer would bo as safo from thn watery element as n Texas bar tender. A good swimmer is not often drowned; not oftcucr than once. I'cople are drowned when they aro thrown suddenly into tho water be cause the shock disturbs their presonco of mind and disarranges tho life pre server, lo avoid drowning from this cause, therefore, never get thrown into the water suddenly; always bo expect ing it. If you aro crossing tho groat desert, keep turning over in your mind what you would do if the distant ocean should suddonly break in on you. If you could acquire thn habit of brcatldng underwater it would be great . medicine for you. bomo men can breathe a long, long timo over boor; thoy arc more apt to founder than drown. if vou (tou t know whether you ran swim or not, having never tried, it is a good plan to consult some well-known authority on the subject before ventur ing into forty foot water, do to .lay Gould; ho lias floated about as many water-Iocjioti schemes as any man in America. Jf, in spile of all precautions, you find that you are actually drowning, no timo should bo lost In ''.ailing in a phy sician; if possible, go for him yourself; tho exercise will prpvo exceedingly beneficial. If you should find a drowning person oh the bench and it should prove to be some one whom it is your interest to save, run him through a clothes wringer without delay; it is essential to got all the water out of him. Do not. however, hang him up after this operation; it's no good; you can't hang a man up for any thing after you've squeezed him dry. Sit on his chest and iullato Ids lungs with a hand bellows to restore respira tion, and slap him to restore circula tion; if lids doesn't work, send for a newspaper clerk, who can give him an nrtilicial circulation that will make the doctors want to go away and commit suicide. Haul him back and forth over a bar rel; this is an old and very popular mode of treatment; itis of no earthly use whatever, but it keeps the patient quiet and amuses tho crowd while you are thinking what you ought to do. Start a messenger for the man's wife at once ami call loudly after him, "Tell her to bring her mother along!" The patient, needs die stimulus of a sudden shock to euablo him to rally. If you are iu doubt whether the man is really drowning, bring him a sherry cobbler; if he is drowning ho will cut oh at the straws. If he is not drowning he will catch on lo the cobbler. Should you discover the drowning person to bo the man who tells you all about his summer vacation; where he went, and what a "nice" place it was; how "nice" the meals and how "nice" the pooplc and how cheap it was and what n good time he had, push him out into deep water to son if he will sink. If he does not sink immediately you may be sure there is something wrong. Lose no lime; a moment's delay maybe fatal; tie a big stone about his neck and piwh him out ngixln.llurdette, in llrvoklyn Kuijlr. AN ARTIFICIAL SEA. Tim OurloiiH Work Unrrltnl Out III TunU liy u I'r.'iu-li OlllVor. Sir K. do Lcssops has lately com municated to the Institution of Civi! Engineers an interesting account of a curious work carried out iu Tunis by Colonel Km id aire. This gentleman ap pears to havo spout many years lit Tunis leveling, boring and making ex periments of various kinds, ami has come to the conclusion that four de pressions, or "shotts," as ho terms them, whleh ho names Tedjed, Djorid, Kharsa and Molrtr, and are situated seventy-seven feet six inches below Ihe sea level, could by meai'sof a canal bo readilv formed into a large Inland sea' or lake, whleh would havo tho ellbot of inlluenclng for good tho climate ami fertility of the surrounding country to a considerable degree. , This lake is stated to bo il, 1(31 square miles in extent. In order to prepare for tho vast expense with such an un dertaking must involve, tho Colonel proposes to sink artesian wells, for tho purpose of cultivating tho country; and the rent, paid for the water thus ob tained might be applied, the whole or in part, towards the construction of the proposed (janal. In 1855 tho first well was sunk to tho depth of 295,feut, when water was found tlowlng at an average of 1,7150 gallons per minute tho first year, which has now increased to 11), 800 gallons per minute. Sir F. do Los peps says: "The banks of tho Hlver Moluh, which fifteen mouths ago wore deserts, mo now populated, and very shortly tho canal is to be commenced, so that tho civilization of the Krouuh-Afriuan possessions must come from, below that is to say, must of necessity depend for water supply 0,1 wells only." Chiiwbcn' Journal. In Now York thoy havo got soda water down to two cents per glass and tho glassed are largo at that TVO CHINESE MAIDS. Terr York' KncluuVil (llrlx With Cramped Vert nnil Quner Hair. Among tho children who have been brought to tho attention of tho Society for the Prevention of Cruelty are two Chinese girls. It was claimed that they had been kidnaped in San Lrancisco two years ajro, and were held bore for the purpose of selling them as wives to resident celestials. The charge was not proven, and for the present, at least, tho case has been abandoned, Tho girls "oro a novcltj hero. As in other places, the Chinese do not permit their wives or daughters to be seen on the street. There arc several Chinese women in this city, and when ir iias happened that they havo been brought into court, or into tho presence of poo plo with a missionary spirit, thoy have said that thoy had not been out of the house before for months, sometimes for nioro than a year, and in one well an thonticated case it was a little over two years since a female resident of Mott street had set her foot outside her tenement. It was not quite so bad in tho cases of tho girls, but for weeks at a timo it has boon tho habit of their guardians to keep them shut up at home. Tho homo is near thy head of Mott street, in a four story building devoted partly to trade ami manufacture. Cigars aro made on tho first floor, and there is a store there also. Upstairs is another commercial establishment, and iu tho top stories are tenements. Tho rooms are, of course, siiiu'll and ill-fitted for habita tion. Iu that respect tho heathen little ones are as well oil as thousands of their Christian fcllow-boings of the east side. One of them is dressed in the American fashion, anil but for the odd waddle that passes for her gait would not be taken for a Chinese at a distance. The other wears her native costume. It consists first in a blouse that hangs from the neck to the knees, not bolted or caught in any way at the waist. Loose trousers aro over tho legs anil bound at the bottoms closely around the ankles. The shoes are thick-soled, wooden nfl'airs. familiar as the foot-coverings of common laundry men, but they aro excessively small and bear witness to the cramping of the feet, customary with thn Chinese. Hot It blouse and trousers are of a pale blue color, unadorned with figure. It is the ordinary costunio of tho Chinese of tlo poorer class. The shiny black hair of th'o girl, dressed liko an Ameri can, was brushed straight back from the brow and wound into a great knot at the back of the head. The other dressed her hair in tho native style. Over each ear was a fiat, thin, circular disk of hair that looked as if it might havo been made of artificial hair, and stuck to tho head. All Chinese women learn earlv how to do this. A gummy pomade is essential to tho task, but it takes considerable skill to weave and wind the hair into its thin and circular position. S: little hair is used In these disks that enough is left for a large coil, which is fastened at the top and back of the head. Neither of these girls, one ten ami the other twelve years old. could speak a word of English. iV. V. Sun. SPORTSMEN'S MUSIC. IIoY JUimy itn I'MMiKPxntiiii; Wllit Conic Mi els nil Untimely r.uil. Unfortunately for the goose, It can be imitated to perfection, and the un happy birds frequently meet their end by paying too much heed to its decep tive notes. One instance of peeuliir interest has come to the writer's knowl edge. The destroyers in this case wore Captain Walter S. (Jreen, of Life-saving Station No. 5. Lon' Brunch, and Mr. Bright, those two shooters live on oj posite sides of a large pond, and aro on the constant watch for birds of any kind that may come in from the sea to rest. Early one morning Mr. Ilright hoard a distant but vigorous honking, lie soon saw a tlock of seven geese Hying iu toward the pond. Quickly getting ids gun and some heavy cart ridges, ho hastened down to the edge of the pond, keeping himself hidden behind a heavy hedge. As soon as ho had selected his position ho uttered a vigorous honk, to which the leader of tho incoming Pock responded. Fly ing low, they sailed majestically in over tho opposite shore, 160 yards away trout .Mr. Uright. I hey wore evidently weary, and anxious to settle down iu the smooth waters of tho pond. Suddenly, out of the tall marsh grass on tho shore opposito Mr. Hright, two pulls of blue smoke and two booming reports rolled out. The leader of the tlock folded his wings and fell to the ground dead. Mr. Ilright then knew for the first time that Captain Croon was nl hand. Tho birds swerved from their course and Hew toward Mr. Ilright, wlm easily killed the second bird. Moth ho and Captain Crcon did so honking, and tho birds, after going away to a considerable distance, ailed back again, passing over Mr. Blight's head at some height. With ids heavy gun ho killed two of them, when they circled and swept across tho pond, where Captain Croon killed two more, the remaining bird, which had been wounded by scattering shot, made a hard struggle to tio to a safe height. Captain Croon hastily slipped iu a cart ridge and took a long shot. A few feathers fell from the bird, and ho Hew across the pond. Mr. Hright thou got a long shot at him, breaking his wing and bringing him down. (Awwry. John 1). Van Cordon, sixtv.nine years of age, of Diugman's Kerry, Pike tenuity, i'n was MiiiKi by a bee Ming oil tho wrist Wednesday mornlne-. A few nioitumu after ho was stunir tho .tain became so ititousa that ho started or tho House. As ho entered the door mi jjiuiiiiuii. "w, iiu Kouig iu mur ium immediately expired. . . 1. a.l II... t . . ... ,11 BAYEUX TAPESTRY. A Quaint and 1'rlcelrM Work or Not More Than Hlght Ceuttirlr Old. In the whole composition are repre sented more than 620 persons, 180 horses, and 550 other animals, besides ships, boats, buildings, trees, weapons, tools and other objects. These figures are drawn and colored fiat, without any attempt at shading, and in their spirited uncouthncss remind us of the work of a clover child. Tho faces, hands and legs of the human figures, when bare, aro merely indicated by a line of stitches. Yet it is an instance of the durability of frail things that these faces and hands have, in many cases, retained for eight hundred years a decided expression. In tho colored portions of tho embroidery, whore tho linen ground is covered with long worsted stitches, little attempt is made to imitate the lines of nature. There is nothing improbable, it is true, in the colors of the clothing, but those of the animals aro not such as aro .found in the common varieties. In tho absence of shading and perspective, an at tempt is mado to supply their place by varying the color arbitrarily on the difl'cient parts of tho same animal. Thus a light-blue Iiorso may have Ilia two legs which are farthest from the spectator colored red, his ears green and ids mane yellow. Tho hoofs on Ids bluo legs may be red, and those of Ids red legs green. In spito of this grotosqtiones-, tho r-'ncral effect is good; and time, which will usually bring colors which lie near oaeh othor into harmony, however discordant thoy may havo been at first, lias mellowed and softened tho wliolo. There has been some controversy as to the maker of the tapestry, and as to i(s exact date. It is attributed by p p nlar tradition to Matilda, wife of Will iain the Conqueror, who is supposed to havo worked it with her ladies to commemorate the glories of her hus band. Some writers suppose it to havo been made at a somewhat later dale than that of her lifetime. Mr. Freeman, however, probably tho best authority on the subject, assigns tho work to a period little after that of the conquest, but does not attribute its manufacture to tho Queen. The tapestry was worked, as he thinks, 'orOdo, Bishop of Bayoux, half brother to William, on the mother's side. There are some reasons to sup pose that English workmen were em ployed. Odo appears at least four times in tho tapestry, and several of his vas sals, otherwise almost unknown men, are represented. The tapestry itself was exhibited in tho cathedral of B.iyetix down to tho time of the trench revolution, being stretched round tho nave on certain feast-days. During t ho eight centuries which have elapsed since its completion it lias es caped many dangers. The church was burned in 110(5. Ir, was pillaged by tho Calvuiists iu 1502. Iu 1702 the tapestry narrowly escaped being cut up into coverings for carts for the French Revolutionary army. In 1H0;? it was carried to Paris and exhibited in the Musee Napoleon to tire the French .heart for a new conque jt of England. On being returned to Bayoux the tapest ry was wound on two cylinders or windlasses in the town hall, and rolled from one to the other for the inspection of the curious. By This process it be came somewhat frayed, especially near the ends. It was not till 1812 that the priceless relic was displayed to students and the public, under glass, in a special museum of its own. Thence it was again removed in 1871, on tho approach of the Prussian invaders. It was soon brought, back, howover. and stretched again in its museum, where it lias been carefully copied several times, Scrib Ncr's Mti'ju:inc. WORTH CONSIDERING. Sciiilll SiiCRrHtloiix for thn Authorities of VllliiR.tit and Summer Itesort. "I wish there was a committee on names appointed for every town." said a young lady recently "a committee whoso tluty it should bo to see that not only streets, but ad the hills and ponds and roads of tho vicinity, had suitablo names given to thoin, or old ones pre served. Then there would be fewer that were cither very ugly or absurdly romantic, and, above all. there would not be such constant repetition." She then proceeded to arguo iu favor of the establishment of this novel com mittee. It was positively exasperating, she declared, to go into tho country, summer after summer, and find in every place slio visited the same regulation list of names! Sho did not believe she had ever stayed In a village that had not its Sunset Hill. Usually there was Willow Brook besides, and Mirror Lake, and she considered herself fortu nate if she did not have to bo shown a Rainbow Fall and a Crystal Spring, and, perhaps, a Smugglers Cave. As for tho Lover s Lane, Lover s Dell and Lover's Leap, sho was so tired of thorn that it would really seem a pleas ant variety to take an evening stroll along lligglnbotham road, to soo the Red Cow s. lump by moonlight! Then there was tno uevii s won; out why Pulpit, Basin, Bridge, Bowling alley and Punch-bowl, all with tho same unpleasing prefix? At least, how ever, those Places were named niter somebody that the people believed in; and when It .wan t Devil s Don, it was sure to bo Kltln CJrotto, which was a Treat deal sillier. Who ever hoard of ovrn a young and imaginative Aniorl- aii that lielteved in oivtvs.' Ann way should a dark, damp, dirty cave bo willed a grotto u name whleh suggests Capri, ami tlte maglo of iuuco air and glittering wall? Tito young lady's idea is hardly likely to bo realized; but tho matter of names Is worth considering, ami it would be well If tho authorities of our expanding villages and summer resorts, that seem to spring up iu a night, would avoid alUloting I ho landscape with any moiu nevus, smu''L'iois, ones auu fairies, 1'ouOi'j CumjiuriiuH. WONDERFUL LONGEVITY. Tlio I,lfit-rrmrrrlni; Influence of Wine llrgU men anil AIt"inlou llnbltii. The common idea is, that longevity lepends entirely on inherited eonstitu ion. Tho man whose father and mother, grandparents and great-grandparents attained a high average age is supposed to havo a much better chance of long life than one whose forefathers havo been short-lived. Probably there is much truth in this idea; but it is not improbable, and tho point seems worth careful study, that longevity is atrected indirectly rather than directly by in heritance. It may well bo that tlio descendant of long-lived folk is apt to bo long lived, not solely or chiefly because he inherits constitutional peculiarities tending to length of life, but because he inherits qualities loading to temper ance and abstinence by which life is prolonged, or even simply because temperance and abstinence have been encouraged during ids youth by ex ample and by precept. Considering tho question of longevity from this point of view, tlio caso of Louis Cornaro, which has always been thought most instructive, becomes full also of encouragement. In the first place, it must bo remem bered that Cornaro (who was born at Venice about tho year 1467) was a man of weak constitution. Moreover, from the age of eighteen to thatof thirty-live lie pursued courses that would have seriously taxed the strongest constitu tion. Life at thirty-live was a burden to him because of the disorders brought on by riotous living and indulgence ir. every kind of excess. The next five years were parsed in almost unremitted sulVering. lie was told by his phy sicians, when forty years old, that noth ing could prolong his life for moro than ,wo or three years, but Mich life as re mained to him might be less painful him the years he had recently lived if he would adopt more tempeiute habits, if ever there was a ease where inherited constitution and en intemperate life threatened an early dath. this wa one. But, as events befell, it turned out that, if over there was a caso where life-preserving influence of wise regi men and abstemious habits was demon strated, Cornaro' s must bo cited as es pecially significant. At the ago of forty Cornaro began gradually to reduce the quantity of food, both liquid and solid, which he took each day, till at length he only took what nature absolutely required. Ho tells us that at first ho found this spvero regimen ory disagreeble, and confesses that "ho relapsed from time to time to tlio liesh-pots of Eirvpt." But by resuming his efforts after each failuro he succeeded, in less than a year, in adopting permanently a spare .mil moderate system. By this time lie was already restored to perfect health. But t litis fj.i- be had only followed the counsels of tho physicians somewhat more steadily than thoy expected, or than is usu:l in such eases, and there fore with unexpected good results. It was after he had recovered his health that he wont on to those experiments by which ho seemed to show how life may be extended far beyond the Psal mist's allowance. From temperance he proceeded to abstemiousness. Undeterred by the doubts of his physicians as to tho wis dom of such a course, lie diminished Ids daily allowance of food, until at last the yelk of an egg Mitlircd him foi a meal! Throughout the time when he was thus reducing Ids allowaneo of food ids health and spirits kept improving. Nay, ho tells us th.tt even his enjoy ment in eating had increased, for lie sa- he could now get more pleasure from a small meal of dry bread than he had ever obtained in tho days of his ex cesses from the most exquisite dainties of the table. As regards regimen, Cornaro simply "avoided extremes of boat and cold, over-fatigue, late hours, excesses, and all violent passions of tlio mind;" lie took moderate exorcise in the open air; and his chief pleasures were those obtained from licrary and artistic study, from the contemplation of one scenery, noblo building, beauti ful combinations of color and sweet music. When Cornaro was within two yours of four score ids diet vtiis regulate 1 iu quality and quantity, as follows: In four meals ho took each day twelve ounces in all of solid food, consisting of bread (stale, of course, for ho was not weak-niinded), light meat, yelk of egg. and soup.-'t7iun -1. Proctor, tn Cosinopolilan. Why Junks Havo Eyes. Chinese junks and boats havo eyes carved or painted on tlio bows, which aro usually supposed to be -a mere fan ciful form of ornamentation. But thoy have a real moaning, as Mr. Fortune found. In going up one ot the rivers from Ningpo, ho was startled ono day by seeing a boatman seize his broad hat and clap it over one of tho "eyes" of the boat, while other boats on the stream were similarly blinded. Look ing about for an explanation ho saw a dead body filiating past, and lie was told by the boatman that if tlio boat had boon allowed to "see"' it, some disaster would surely have happened, cither to passengers or cirw, boforo tho voyage untied.- .-Iff the Year Hound. Printed matter may be copied on any paper of an absorbent nature, by dampening the surface with a weak 'olutiou of acutato of iron, and prov ing In an ordinry uopying press. Ohl writing may also bo copied on uiisiaud paper, if wot with a woak solution of sulphate of iron mixed witli a &implu solution of sugar sirup. The slto of tho city of San Diego, Cal comprising a tract of eight litiu drtfd aunts, was sold about tweuty year, ago for f 260. WALL STREET'S KING. jAy Gonlu' remnnal CliHrncterlstlen nncl Financial Method.. Jay Could scarcely knows what it is to be without nn ache. Ho is not on :lie. verge of the grave, as ho has re cently been pictured, although people who know him will say that he has not very many years to live. His vitality, though, is something wonderful. lie "picks up" quickly. Tlio greatest effort of his life was Ids deal in Union Pacific. It was make or break him. Nearly every one who was associated with him thought that he would die before he could cany out his plans. His efforts were successful, and then came the rent which brought him relief. It is said that Mr. Gould's principal, trouble isdue to over-eating. Ho takes too much food for a man of hN size. If ho could curb his appetite ho might know what good health is. Neuralgia haunts him like a specter. It now at tacks him principally in the face. Ho is afraid of its extending to tho stomach and heart, in which case a fatal ter mination would be feared. Ho takes no exercise beyond what begets in attend ing to his business. Ho runs up and down stairs in the big Western Union building, but his activity in business is of a nervous description that is ex haustive instead of healthful. His face is like a piece of putty in line. How he is able to stand the great strains that ho is subjected to is something that puzzles himself, the doctors, and every body who knows him. His tremendous M ill-power is perhaps tho host explana tion. He is able to hold up when other men would take to their beds. Mr. Gould's fondness for his family is most laudable. He derives more pleas ure from the homo circle than from any thing else. In fact, ho cares for little else than the society of ids wife and children. Horses or sports he takes no interest in. He bought his steam yacht as much for seclusion as any tiling. He loos not use tobacco in any form, and liquor only as a stimulant, and then in the smallest quantity. He always dresses well, but not obtrusively. He is of a most retiring disposition. He never made but two speeches in Ids life, and the were very brief. In conversa tion lie is unassuming as in Ids manners. He is a better listener than talker, although he has a remarkably impres sive way of talking when he lias any tiling to say. Ho has a habit of closing his eyes when conversing, which has long been a habit of Ids, and is also noteworthy in his son George J., whom lie is training as a financier. Mr. Gould's regard for hi son amounts to devotion. What ever tho young man says is law, or, at any rate, ha? his indorsement and back ing. Young Mr. Gould is cautious and wily, like ids father, and has won the hitter's confidence and support by linking few mistakes. It was a most gratifying thing to Mr. Gould when his "on settled down to . business. Young Mr. Gould is a hard worker. He is a sturdier num than his father. Indeed, lie is quite an athlete, and takes the greater part of the physical strain from Ids father. Mr. Gould's financiering is strange. He likes to take hold of a broken-down road and reorganize it. Ho will secure the property for next to nothing, and isue a vast amount of new securities for tlio ostensible purpose of "putting it on its feet." iu a financial sense, furnishing equipment and extending it or building branches to bring additional business to it. The old security-holders will havo tlio right to subscribe for the new securities at low prices, and then, when a market is found for them, he will sell out the new issues at the top prices. To this plan of stock watering lie adds the other of paying stock dividends or dividends in scrip which is convertible into stock. The majority of Mr. Gould's security issues have been in the shape of bonds which are always more salable than stock. As bonds can be issued after the stock is, and be made a prior lion to stock, it is easy enough to see tho advantage of putting bonds on the market. It has been said that Mr. Gould never gave except whon lie was forced to. .which is probably the fact. He is never actuated by philanthropic motives in my thing. It is contrary to his nature. Personally he cares nothing for "so ciety." lie would, however, sacrifice a good portion of Ids fortune to have "social recognition," on account of his fam'ly. Tlio Goulds, it is generally known, aro not "society people." Three years ago Mr. Gould announced his purpose to start on a tour of tlio world iu Ids own yacht, tho Atalanta. The announcement, it turned out, was merely for the effect it would have on the stock market. Mr. Gould has the yacht, and it is probable, having schooled Iiis son iu the ways of finance, that before long ho will ninko a foreign tour. Not the least interesting thing about Mr. Gould is ids fear of bodily harm. Ho is iu constant receipt of letters threatening him with death. It has been said that hu lias not visited the scene of tho great southwestern railwnv strike since it occurred, for fear his train would bo wrecked. That is a mistake. lLt has been over ids lines and was received at many stations even with brass bands and laudatory spucchus liin mill, in ijiiu suuiiou Ol tllC country it happens that ho is popular. .V. i World. 1 Three enormous voluntas, aggre gating over eighteen hundred pao.s and una hundred and forty platos, rep roent tho contribution of tho Chal lenger expedition to suioiililio know ludgo. m mi i. Tho profussiuti of the chiropodist has buon dignified by a royal practi tioner, fur was nutthu English throne oooupiod by William tlio corncurvr. HONEST PATRIOTISM. ,1 Jfnn Who 1 Wltllns to Sacrifice nim Hclf for II1 Country's Sake. You h ive seen somcthingin the papors about the coast defenses. The idea has sonichow got allroad that our coasbt ought to lie lined with forts and guns as a warning to Europe against declar ing war against us some morning boforo breakfast. Engineers have surveyed and reported, and Congressional com mittees have sat and reported, and for about $80,000,000 we can get things in such shape that wlitn the enemy's first iron-clad heaves in sight sho cati bo saluted in proper Ayle. A lot of us were sitting tn tlio depot waiting-room at Trenton, and tho only man who had a newspaper was reading away for dear life, when a stranger entered with two sachels and a tall girl, chugged the baggage under a scat, waved the girl to another, and walked up to the man with the newspaper and asked: "Mister, is there any thing iu tho paper about our coast defenses?" "No, sir!" was the gruff reply. "That's singular. Havo thoy given up the idea, do you think?' "I don't know what you mean. Bir." "You don't? Why, they've been talk ing for the lastyearabout building forts to protect our coasts. 1 live down near the mouth of Tom's river, and I ratlior expect they'll build a big fort, there. The way tilings are now England, France or Germany could declare war airaiiist us and land a force at Tom's river before we hail our eyes open. Tlie 'd land right on my farm, and no body knows the damage they'll do. Don't see any thing about a fort at Tom's river, eh?" "No. sir." "Well, that's sing-tlar. Tf this gov ernment expects mo to get down behind a rock with my old shot-gun and keep Europe from ianding at that point it's expecting a lectio too much of one man. I'd light to thn death, of course, but the chances are that a hull navy could lick one nigh-sighted man. So tlio paper don't say any thing?" "Didn't I tell you no in the first place!" "Say! inebbe you don't keer a copper about coast defenses!" exclaimed the. two-saeliel man as a red spot appeared on either cheek. "Not a copper, sir!" "I thought so from tho start! You live out in Michigan or Indiana or Illi nois, and are tucked away iu some holler where the sheriff can't find ye, let alone an invader of our sacred silo! O, no, you don't keer!" "Father!" chided the tall girl, as she half rose; but he turned on her with: "Miry, you keep shot! Pre alius thought if Europe declared war agin us we'd have plenty of enemies right at home, and here's a case to prove it! Stranger, did you lit in the last war?" "None o' your business, sir!" "There's Ids open hand, gentlemen!" said tlte two-sacltel man, as ho turned to tiie crowd. "When you find a man who don't keer how soon the hull of Europe jumps on this country you have found a man who'd di:" up the bones of Washington and seN cm to a junk man for live dollars!" Tiie man witli tho newspaper laid it down, got. on his feet and asked the other if lie would step out-doors a min ute. "No, sir. I won't!" was tho prompt reply. "In the fust place. I've got these two sachels to purtect; iu tlio second place, there's M iry; in tlio third place, I don't tight with no man who didn't fight in the last war. In the fust place I asked ye if there was any tiling in tho paper about our coast defenses." "And I said no, you idiot!" "And vou said you didn't keer!" "Neither do I!" "There's ids hand agin, gentlemen! While I'm lying behind a rock at Tom's river, waiting to sell my life in defence of my country, hero's a fellor front Coon Holler, State of Indiana, who don't keer a cooper's copper how quick Europe kivers tho situ of New Jersey with tlio blood of our bravest men!" "Father!" chided Mary again. "Leinino alone, Maiy! You know all about carpet rags and darning and housework, but you never heard tho rumble of war. If Europe is going to jump onto this country I want to know who's going to shoot mo in tlio back as 1 face the enemy." The man with tho newspaper opened it and sat down with a dangerous glit ter iu his eyes, and there was a solemn silence for a few minutes. Then tho Tom's river man edged over to Mary and they slid out doors together. Then ho beckoned through tho open window to,tlireo or four of us, and as wo went out he surrounded us and whispered: "Gentlemen, it's my soioiiiu opinion that that feller is a jauuisary from Europe who has come over hero to coax Undo Sam not to put up any coast de fences. I want to say right hero, anil I want you to hoar it and renionibor it, that if the enemy land at Tom's rivor it will bo over my dead body. And I won't be to blame for it." -M. Quad, in Detroit Free iVcw. An Excited Pedagogue. Prof. Snore, of tlio University of Texas, is a man who is very apt, when ho becomes excited, to tYuusposo his words. Having occasion to rebuke his son, William, who is bucoiniur rather fast, lie said: "You must tiling this stop. Only yesterday I saw you parading Austin girl with an avenue of the opposite sex on your arm, a burning dog stuck in your mouth, and a little cigar trotting along behind you." Texts Sijliitjs. .Wording to tlio report of tho Now York Bureau of Labor Statistics thoro woro more than 1,500 strikus in that State during 1830, typilust 800 iu 1685. r 1
