Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 13, 1886)
,A wealth of beauty meet my eye
Yellow nnil qrcen, and brnwu and white,
In one vaH bhizc of plory II 11
My happy eight.
5Tie rlcl.-robed trcc, the rlpcnlnp corn,
Brlcht colored with September Are
rulflllriicut of the farmer's bops '
And year' desire.
Bwect In the nlr are joyous sounds
Of bird and bee and running brook;
And plenteous fruits banc ripening round
Where'er J look.
The mellow tp'cnrtnr toftly falls
On moriilnir mists and evening dews.
And colors tree and flowers and clouds ' 4
With thousand hues.
O dreaming clouds, with sllrer fringed I
I watch jc gathering side by side,
Like armies, In the solemn skies,
In stately pride.
J love the woods, the changing woodu,
Fast declining down the russet glow,
"When autumn, like a brunette queen,
Kulcs all below.
The soul of beauty haunts the heavens,
Nor leuves for long the wntm-fuced earth,
And like n kind mother, the kind air
To life gives birth.
But death rides past upon the gale,
And blows the rustling golden leaves;
They whirl and full, ami rot and die,
And my beurt grieves.
Farewell 1 Ocutumn days farewell I
Yc go; but we shall meet again,
As old friends, who arc parted long
lly the wild main.
Dick Fellowes Hung himself buck
against the frail door-post of tho sum
mer house 1 11 tho airy building rocked
to its foundation.
"Say oni) kind word, Stella. My love
may Hot scorn much to you, but at
least it is tho bust I have to givo," ho
jmid, earnestly, looking very white ami
Stella Howard, sitting sweet, and
calm in her white gown and pearls,
half glanced toward hor impetuous
lover, then dropped her blue eyes
again with a suspicion of a dainty
Dick's hands wore ho very big and
red, and his evening dress looked as if
)t came out of the ark. Of course ho
)vas very good and nice, and Stella did
ot mind his clumsy, little attentions
Whou no more interesting was at hand;
1mt to bo madu love to by a big, awk
ward, young civil engineer working on
tho now ra I way lino! a creature who
couldn't sing or rale, or play billiards;
who entered a room like a wandering
elephant, and was forever burled in
diagrams and calculations, instead of
talking society chatter! Stella could
not help fechng it a deeidi'd liberty on
Dick Fellowes' part to imagine himself
entitled to love Colonel Howard's only
daughter, and she heartily wished slio
luid never suggested his being invited
to dinner at which ho had overturned
n glass of cliablis over her new lace
flounce or consented to show him tho
garden in thu soft sunset glow of that
"1 don't know what to say. I'vo
told you it isn't tho hunt use, Mr. Fel
lowes; your life and mine are poles
apart; wo can't make them meet. I'm
very sorry you should bo pained. Try
c to forgot it all," she answered, trying
not to show her disdain too plainly.
Forgot!" echoed Fellowes, tho
blood rushing to his lomplos. "No,
that's not l.koly. 1 tell you whilo you
livo no man will love you as I have
done. Good-by, Stella; 1 can't stand
any more, Heaven bless you, although
you aro so cruel 1"
And ho was out of sight down tho
garden path he lore Stella could have
stopped him, oven had she so wished.
What curiously abrupt manners ho
had, thought she, as she made her way
to the drawing room through the sweet
Bceuted roses to sing the song Captain
Thurlow had bogged for in a whisper
as sho loft tho taiilo. How odd to go
without b tiding good-by! Anil ho was
leaving Churlstono tho next day, sho
Captain Thurlow's pollshod manner
fas a pos tivo rol.ef alter such bohav
r, and as ho turned tho pa;es of the
'lioheniiau Girl!" and murmured coin
JiiuonlH into Stella Howard's well
Joa-sod oar 1) ok Fellowos and his woo
.Jig faded from her inind liku a disa
Only oueu did she hear his name in
tho two years that followed, and that
was in connection with the sehomo of
Bomo proposed Government works, and
lio was called Mr. Fellowes, tho well
known and r sing engineer.''
Dick rising! Diok famous! Slella
was Housihlu of a little shock of intense
Hut llioro was vory llttlo tinio for
any thought of tho outside world after
that. Colonel Howard died in Af
ghanistan, and Stella found hersolf a
penn less orphan, dependent on tho
distant relations with whom she was
living. Even in hor sorrow and de
spair there was a little ray of comfort
In tho thought of Captain Tliurlow.
Suroly there was one strong arm and
brave-heart that would not fa I hor.
DuUCaptaiii Thurlow was endowed
with a knowledge of tho world, which
made hint keenly aw aro of tho nleo
dlU'ereneo between Miss Howard thu
pretty daughter of his reputedly
wealthy Colonel and Miss Howard tho
penniless orphaiv. H s engagement to
u Laneasli.ro in. ntlfaotiiror's daughter
was in all the souieiy papers within a
fort n ght; ami. as Stella tr.od to crush
out tho mortification and resentment
from her heart, which seem 'd full to
overllowing. there sounded in her ears,
us if it wore a proyheo., Dick Fellowos'
"No one w.ll over lovo you as I
Was it all tho perversity of a woman's
nature that madu Stella's memory
dwell so often and so kindly on tho
recollection of that wooing as time
Kent on? In the old dins life had held
o much lovo for her that Dick's seemed
k thing little worth tho having; now
that sho was that louelv th'ng, a gov
erness in other people's houses, she
wondered how she could have despised
any lovo so honest and so true, und her
recollection of clumsy Dick grow to bo
a very kind ami gentle one.
Not that her lot was us hard as that
of many; indcoll, tho Bouchers wore
very kind to her. Her pupils were
good and afloclionatc, with tho careless
affection of children; sho had plenty to
cat and drink and nolliin: to complain
of, except that her life had passed her
bj blio mud to do her duty, to teach
tho children well and wisely, to help
Mrs. Boucher with her numerous guests
and society cares.
Tho house was to Jc full for regatta
as usual, and Stella had pronlised to
givo up her holiday till they wcro all
gono again. She was writing notes for
a great garden party when tho little
girls burst in upon her in wild excite
ment. "Oh, Miss Howard! only think! Sir
Itichio is coming our own dear Sir
llichio. Isn't it lovely!" they cried.
"And who may S.r Illchio bo?" in
quired Miss Howard, very composed
ly, directing another envelope.
"Not know our Sir llichio? Why,
everybody knows him. Ho plays
tennis with us, and rows us on the
lake, and bins us dolls. Fancy,
idauima, Miss Howard does not know
our own darling Sir llichio!"
"Mis3 Howard lias bech out of so
ciety so long that thoro is an excuse
for her not knowing at least the name
of Sir llichard Followo3," responded
The pen rolled over unon tho newly
addressed envelopes and ruined two.
"Sir llichard Fellowes?" was all
M ss Howard could gasp out.
"Yes, tho great inventor and civil
engineer. He had his baronetcy con
ferred a few months ago, when ho
finished his great railway lino to
Thibet; and bo's just been stopping
at Osborne. Is it possiblo you've
never hoard his name? Why, no was
one of tho lions of last season, young,
rich and tho fashion. I'm lucky to
get him hero, even for a Hying visit;
but my husband and he aro old
friends, and ho is wonderfully fond of
tho children.' Can it bo that you
have never heard ot him, really?"
"I 1 met him some years ago,"
Stella managed to falter.
Gladlv would Ste'la havo hidden lior
self in her distant school room tiiat
night and pleaded neuralgia or any oth
er synonym for a broken heart rather
than enter tho crowded drawing room,
whonco tho soft flow of voices and
laughter floated out from the open win
dows ovor to her own room in the wing.
But Mrs. Boucher had told her that
they would want soino singing, and
governesses must not indulge their feel
ings when other people's entertainment
is at stake.
Slella's heart seemed beating in hor
ears as sho entered tho great drawing
room' behind a tray of collee cups and
hid herself in a sheltered nook near tho
At first she could sco nothing cloarly,
the rose shaded lamps threw so dim a
light ; then sho grow awaro of a group
of smiling, interested people.all bestow
ing their most gracious smiles and at
tentions to a tall ligure in their midst.
Could that bo Dick Fellowes that broad
shouldered man with the brown mus
tache and close cropped, curly head,
who moved and spoke like a man confi
dent of his own powers and used to
succeed and please? Stella thought of
tho ill-litting garments of old days as
sho noticed the shapely cut of his" coat
collar and tho grace of self-possession
in his every movement. Dick had red
hands uiul'lug bonis anil suggested a
bull in a china shop. Was there some
mistake after all?
A moment and then he raised his
head and sho caught tho old merry
smilo and the Hash of tho qu ok, gray
eyes; and half blinded and bewildered
with a rush of recollections, blolla
made hor way to tho piano in obediuneo
to Mrs. Boucher's smile ami nod.
Why had Mrs. Boucher asked her to
sing "Golden Days?" It was Dick's
favorite song long ago, and Slella felt
as if it would elioko her. Hot" voieo
shook so that Mrs. Boucher's guests
thought their hostess had a good deal
overpraised hor govrrnoss' stylo, anil a
Miss Verney near by remarked to Sir
llichard Fellowes that she did not ad
mire that tremolo kind of manner so
many girls aH'eeted.
As she rose from the piano stool her
oyos mot those of Sir llichard, who
was standing tdosu to the piano. There
was nothing beyond the most casual
recognition in the slight bow on both
sides, and Stella got away somehow to
her own (ptarlors to find venj for tho
passionate How of tears that overcame
all her self ooutrol.
Tho next day was to ho tho grand
garden party. Miss Howard was sup
posed to be unostentatiously in the
background, dressed in her best, to keep
a supervision over her little pupils.
Ethel and Maud, wdd with delight,
hastened her out to the tennis lawn long
before any one could possibly bo ox
peotod to "arrive.
"Just one 1 ttlo game before the poo
plo come to tho grounds, Miss Howard.
You know wo may not play when all
the grown up people aro here, and we
do so want a little, tiny giuuo," begged
Miss Howard, mindful of her best
cream gown and tho dillleulties of ten
uis when combined with long gloves
and plumed hat, vainly endeavored to
"Only a little scrap of play. Ah!
you know you can't refuse," they said.
And Stella was forced to laugh and
ylold to their entreaties.
S that was the picture that met tho
eyes of the idle gentleman who satin
tured down tho shrubbery path, among
the fragrant syr ngas, and turned the
corner of tho 'terrace stops a girl's
ligure in a creamy gown, vivul in tho
hot miii against the trees and shrubbery;
a shade hat which throw into relief the
crisp, bronze hair and the soft Hush on
her cheek, a raequot poised aloft, and a
tlutter of whlte-winged pigeons toward
tho dark blue sky. He .stopped short,
us if spellbound.
"Oh, sir, lllchie, vou'ro just in time!
Come along and haveagamu with Miss
Howard do, do!" cried tho children.
Stella turned with a violent start;
tho racquet slipped from her gloved
hand and struck her left wrist a vio
lent blow. The pain turned hor fa nt
and giddy and sho felt herself grow
whdo to tho vory lips.
"No, no, young woman.". she heard
the roiott that was so like, yet so un
like, the voice of other days say: "Miss
Howard won't play with mu she never
Then ho turned to her with a sudden
change front the laugh ng tone:
"Have you hurt your arm? I am
afraid JL startled you;""nnd ho camo for
ward hastily. ,
But Slelfa drew away as ho ap
proached. "Nothing it is nothing; pray don't
trouble me," she said, almost crossly.
And as a stream of gayly dressed
people emerged from the conservatory
and began to spread themselves over
tho tcrraco and approach the 'lawn
Stella turned and tied into tho shrubbery.
Sho had reached tho fountain by tho
atnr.nn tit Hin i!nnninr f.-ilin Wnn. film
"Pardon mo," said her pursuer, in a
lono that was certainly not Dick's-it
was too commanding. "I do not want
to contradict you, but I can't beliovo it
u ftntimirr "
And in another moment tho little
bruised wrist, from which ho had
stripped the glove, was in Sir Richard's
firm, light grasp, and Stella meekly
"Sit down here," was tho order, and
she found herself placed on the mossy
step of tho old fountain, whilo with
quick, deft fingers Sir llichard dipped
his handkcrcliief in the cool, clear
and bound it round tho slender
Could it be Dick? Was it not all a
mocking dream? Stella could only
hope with all her might that the
awakoning might bo long delayed.
The splash of water in tho old stone
basin and tho mysterious whisper of
tho pines overhead woro tho only
sounds that broke the summer stillnoss.
Tho tenuis was too far oil' for them
to hear the merry players; they
Did Dick remember tho last time
they had boon alone together? He
came and sat down on tho broken step
by Iter side.
'fatella. do you shrink from mo still?.
After all the years I havo been working
mill tniliii'r to bn worthier of vnu. ani 1
no nearer tho goal than when wo last
parted? Must 1 ask in vain, as I did
then, for tho least little word?" ho said,
slowly and gravely.
Not a movement, not a sound from'
tho shrinkinr liiruro at his side. His.
grew graver still, and no bit his
"Am I to co away again,
asked, after a pause.
Still no answer.
With a sudden impulse, Sir llichard
stooped and peered under tiio broad
hat which hid her faco from him.
"What! crying. Stella!" Ho was
on his knees besido her on tho moss.
"Havo I made you cry?" My darling!
Ho was trying to take her In his
arms, but sho struggled to frco her
self. "Ah, Dick, I told you onco that our
lives were poles apart; it was false
then, but it has como true," ho mur
"If it had, which I deny, tho rela
tive positions would bo tho samo. lou
aro, as you have always been, a world
above mo in all thinirs
Jsut lovo can
brid'o anv jrulf. Stella.
Won t you let
n 17 ' t "
mo try? It is my trado, vou Know."
And then sho struggled no longer.
"Dick," sho whispered, by and by,
when conversation had had time to bo
come a trillo less absorbing, "do you
remember what you said that night at
Churlstono? Yoti( told mo no xliji
would ever love me as 3-011 had done.
I didn't bulivo it then, but 1 know now
that you were right."
"Did I say that?" ho asked, laugh
ing. "Well, yes, I was right, I dare
say only I put it in the wrong tense.
Wnit I should have said was not 'as 1
havo done,' hut 'as I do, and as I shall
keep on doing as long as tho world
shall last.' And that would have been
truer st II, my guiding star; so let it
stand like that in the future."
And that point was settled without
opposition onco and for always. Chi
Mr. A. B. Allen, who foundod tho
American Agriculturist nearly fifty
years ago, and was for mauy years its
editor, is now spending tho ovoning of
his days 011 his farm near Toms lliver,
N. J. As in early years, ho is devoting
very much of his attention to stock
rnisino-. mill In the November iiiimlr
he gives thu following advico about j
Swino should bo pushed forward now
in mild weather as fast possiblo, as they
will gain flesh much more rapid on tho
same quantity of food than in freezing
weather. During tho fattening process
it lias boon found highly benelieial to
feed a moderate quantity of pumpkins,
for whon this is done they assist the
digestion of tho gra n or meal given
the swine, and enables them to more
porfootly and economically turn it into
Hush, thus saving a considerable per
centage in tho consumption of food.
Pumpkins, or, what aro richer and
bettor, winter squashes, ought to bo
grown especially lor this purpose by all
swine keepers. Aside from this, they
are exeellent for the store stock, as
they will do well if fed alono 011 theso
that is, provided they aro of a good,
hen pumpkins aro not on hand a
fow roots may bo given raw, of which
beets and carrots aro better than pota-j
toes, rutu-bugas, or common turnips. 1
Tho lust are very poor feed for this
purpose, being better for cattle.
Grass, and especially clover, is an ex
cellent substitute for roots, so long as
it remains green and growing in au
tumn, but when turned out to this, the
swine ought to have a warm shod, into
which thoy can como when foil and to
protect themsclvos from dew ami frost
during the night as well as from
To make snnerior hams and bacon,
corn should bo mixed with oats or bar
ley, or perhaps ryo might answer, at
the rate of one-half to a third of one of
tho latter to the former, and ground
thus togothor. Such feed increases tho
proportion of tender, juicy, loan streak
ing tho fat, which is essential to pro- orgy to tho supervision of their public
duco a lino quality of hams and bacon. ! institutions, the succor and nursing of
If fat pork for salting and barreling a community stricken with pestilence,
alone Is wanted, then pure com, .whole the eHloient distribution of publio sub
or groi'iid Into course meal, is the best soriptions. are above praiso. A careful
feed, io ned with some pumpkin or study of transatlantic examples might
roots, barley or rvc, as recommended put our own boasted lavishnuss to
above, ' shame, liritish Quarterly lievtew.
A Chat With My Boy.
Sly dear boy, this is your 12th b'rth
day, and to commemorate tho happy
event I want to give you somo whole
1 havo observed that phjsically and
mentally you arc ripening under the
democratic inllucnces of a free school,
and I w sh to encourage you in this at-
j tcntion to study. If it were not for sttt
diotisncss on the part of our boys this
great country would bo destitute of a
logislativo congress. Of course, I don't
intend to say how much better it would
1 bo without a congress, for in that I
SllOUld bo di'TCSSitlff.
I concerning school. I havo no
'doubt that you can whip the teacher,
should occasion demand, but don t do
t- Content yourself with assuring the
bovs of tho fact, and learn to let hi in
I have his way. If. however, sometime
you should bo determincu to tender
him a chastisement, choose some boy
whom you disliko and persuade him to
do it; the result could not bo other
lou aro now approaching a crisis in
life. At your ago a boy begins to grow
in love with himself, and at 18 he has
what a cold, unfeeling world calls tho
" g-hcad. I trust to you to bo rid of it
before you aro 21, but if not. by that
time it will havo become chronic, and
yon will find that an unsympathetic
public will, jit every opportunity, take
occasion to punch it.
At your time of life men, things and
books are in league to take you through
a systematic-course of lies. Some day
you will think that homo and the old
folks arc slow, and somo night, in the
still watches, von will get up from a
! slecpKss pillow, tie a few clothes in a
handkerchief and start out to see the
Now, don't take tho clothes, and
don't come back until you get a good
look at that great old fraud you have
been reading and dreaming about.
1 mention tho clothes because you
will so muss them in your travels that
your mother will havo them to wash
when you como back. But 1 want you
to go when you get ready I wouldn t
give a copper for a boy who hadn't at
some time taken it into his head to run
You havo often expressed the wish to
he a man. but don't hurry old Father
Tune. His knees aro shaky and his
limbs aro rheumatic, but his gait is
deceptive. Bo a boy as long as you
can and when you aro a man don't let
tho public sec tlfat you have forgotten
all about it.
Try to bo sensible, and, if anything
conservative, but let man and boy call
you plain Bill all your life.
Havo a head of your own. If you
don't believe that the sun is stationary
and that the world turns, say so. You
will bo respected, even whilo you are
asked for your proof.
Try to bear with the world, as you
will bo obliged to loavo it pretty much
as you found it. llcniembor it has been
running along in tho same groove for,
several thousand years, and that tho
public would bo likely to discourage any
uui'iupi at a i niiic.u ciiuugc.
Yes, put up with it. my boy. Somo
day when you are a man, and feel com
pelled to Hog a boy of about your prcs
entbnild, think it oyer, and if you have
not found my advice to bo for tho best,
you may conclude that your father was
an ass. II. W. Field, in Detroit Free
The Charleston earthquako has
caused the lending scientists of Europe
to givo tho world tho full benefit of
their studies in seismology.
It will bo of interest to summarize
tho views of theso exports. Tho sci
entists agree on the following points:
First. Tho causes of earthquakes aro
Second. No accurate prediction can
bo made of their time, place and dura
tion. Third. No connection has been
traced between tho wcathor ami earth
quakes. Volcanoes and earthquakes aro both
duo to tho sumo general cause. Tho
globe passes through periods of special
volcanic activity, and theso periods
range in duration from two to twenty
years. We aro passing through such a
period now, and it has already lasted
it is believed that there is an earth
split under Charleston and the earth in
' that locality has been in slow motion
for many years. It may bo ccnturios,
however, before any sovero convulsion
Perhaps tho most threatening spotin
tlio country is in Wyoming territory.
Tho geysers there will probably develop
into active volcanoes, but tho change is
no't likely to take placo for some hun
dreds of years to come.
1 Our friends, tho scientists, havo not
added to our stock of earthquako lore,
but thev deserve our thanks all tho
samo. It is something in these days to
Hud men honest enough to admit that
they know nothing. Atlanta Constitu
American Pauperism and Charity.
No people are so tender, so gener
ous, so lavish of active sympathy to
ward tho sick, tho bereaved, and tho
unfortunate. In states which, prob
ably from an instinct under their oir
cuihstances just and wise, refu.so to reQ
ogni.o tho right to subsistence by a le
gal provision for the poor whereby
tho idle und vicious would chiolly bene
fit nevertheless paupers by the visita
tion of God, the aged and infirm, tho
blind, the deaf and dumb, lunatics and
idiots, aro amply provided for by public
and private charity, with all that can
alleviate their lot, or teach them, as
far as possible, the moans of solf-do-1
Dondeuco. American charity toward
victims of groat natural catastro
phe, far more common there than
here, communities burned out by a for
est lire or ruined by a Hood, . and yet
more the personal sacrifices made, the
readiness with which men and womon
devote their leisure, thought and oil
Fan About the Judge.
'Lias Bugson, tho hue of whose com
plexion has gained for tho old man "tho
nickname of Pitch, camo to the city
somo time ago and called upon a law
yer. "You want a divorce, I supposo,"
said the lawyer when 'Lias entered.
."Dat's it, sah, but how did ycr
"Well, there is such a rush for. di
vorces that 1 thought you might be
long to the crowd. "Thoy all como to
me. Upon what grounds will you
apply for a divorce?"
Dat's it. Now, how much ycr gwino
"1 won't bo hard on you. I'll take
the case for ten dollars?"
"An' not charge me nothin' lesson
ycr git tho 'vorcu?"
"Oh, I'll have to chargo vou any
'Lias, after a moment's rcllection,
"I kain' go inter sich cr trade cz dat
It's too bindin' on merse'f."
"Aro you sure that you can prove de
sertion?" "Js cz sho cz I is dat I's libln'."
"Well, if I gain the case givo me ton
dollars. If not, you needn't givo mo
" 'Pears like it's sorter too much on
ycr own side yit. Now, lemtno tell
ycr. Psc cr sort o' cr bizniz pusson,
an' I'll 'grce ter dio fuck wid yer. Ef
1 prove 'zertion an' yer don doan git do
'vorcc, yer inns' gin mo five dollars,
an' if yer docs git it, I'll gin yer ten.
Mine, how, dat ef 1 kain' prubo do
'zertion, 1 doan claim nuthin'."
"Well, I believe I'll tako that."
"All right, sab, les pul de money
Tho money was given to a stake
holder, and "tho bill for divorco was
filed. When the trial camo on, tho
lawyer, whispering to his client, said:
"You'd better make a statement, and
then let tho witnesses bo introduced."
"I doan b'lebu do witnesses is' o' any
"'Case dc cou't'll tako my word."
The lawyer laughed. Tho negro was
called upon to make a statement.
"Genermen o' dis hear coti't", said
ho, "I said dat dar wa'nt no use in wit
nesses case do cou't would tako my
word. Mr. Lawyer, I said dat I'd
prubo 'zertion in dis case, didn't 1?"
"Uh huh, dat's what I said, an' I'll
"Introduco a witness," said tho
"No use, jedge."
" 'Case I know dat I 'zerted do
g - " tun i
tion. Er haw, haw, stakeholder, gin
mo mer livo dollars."
Tho judge, after hearing an oxplana
nation of the arrangements, said:
"Give him tho livo dollars."
"Thankee, judge," said tho negro
when ho had received tho money.
"Thankee, sah. Yer sec, 1 wuz outer
'ployment, an' knowin' dat dis heah
lawyer is alius airter niggers ter git
'voices, I thought I'd work him cr lit
tle." "You didn't want a divorce, I sup
pose," said the judge.
"Bless yer soul, 110 sah. Dar ain't
no nigger in de country dat's got er
better lady den I has."
"And you were merely playing with
"Dat's ail, sah. Er haw. haw! Oh.
liar's or hcop cr fun er bout dis olo ni"
ger." "Mr. Clerk," said tho judge, "enter
up a lino of fifty dollars against Mr.
"Good Lawd, jedge, whut fur?"
"For playing with the court. "Oh,"
miniicing tho negro, "dar's or heap er
fun er bout dis old jedge." Arknnsaiu
Horspls of Gastronomy.
Canned turtle meat has como into
general uso now for green turtle soup.
Advanced epicures now hold that to
cat jelly 011 game, savo quail, is a hor
csy. Oysters fried in oil aro tho craze,
and said to bo better that way than in
Frogs' legs aro usually high and
there is what may bo called appropri
Gamo increases in supply and grows
better in quality as tho autumn das
It is only the bravo and courageous
people at hotels who over eat broad
Boston lottuco has como to market
again, the "white heart" to tho delight
Several new wrinkles in cuisino are
traced to Sherry a Lenox and tho ca
terer at Tuxedo.
Now is tho timo when tho gastro
nomic sportsman goes hunting, llko
Dixey, for Welsh rarebits.
Hod popper on sardines is tho latest
gastronomio "fad," and is supposed to
tako the placo of lemon.
In Washington, noxt winter, tho
prico of terrapin will bo contingent up
on Mr. Whitney's receptions.
Colery and cranberries havo como,
and tho gobble gobblo of tho turkey is
heard in tho Thanksgiving land.
Caterers and hotel stewards say six
out of ten people nowadays insist up
on having cheoso with tho r plo.
Modern sandwiches have all tho
crust of tho broad cut oil", and aro
shaped in every way but tho old Now
It is "Maryland, qnito Maryland,"
to eat thick slices of fried hominy witli
duck, no matter of what qaaekiug va
riety. Our Italian folio w-oitizons aro quite
hilarious over the advico given in tho
daily papers as to the best way to cook
An old gastronomio talo In a now
gown is that about tho Yalo professor
who is uooused of buttering bis watur
imdon for dinner. .Vote York Mail and
Ho Was One and AIL
Whilo the train watted at .1 small
station in Missouri, I called aj tho
office of tho local paper and was met at
the door by a tall man who woro a
swarthy shirt and a fiat made during
the 99th Olympiad.
"Where is the editor?" I asked.
"I'm tho editor."
"Ah! Then, will you show mo your
oflice? I also am a journalist."
"Well, pilgrim," thoro isn't much to
show, unless you aro fond of gazing at
an old hand press that wheezes like it
had the asthma when 1 run it, and
punches holes through tho paper in
tho vain attempt to do printing.'
"Where is the largo and efficient
corps of assistants? '
"Haven't any. The only assistant I
ever had, worked a week, and is now
suoing 1110 for his wages."
"Have you no reporter?"
"Certainly not. There is nothing to
report around here. Onco there wa3
a dog fight, but it happened away in
the dim, dead past, and has been
written up eo often that when I touch
the subject, the village soxton .rings
the church-bell to warn mo that it is a
"Who operates your hand-press?"
"1 do. 1 had a boy to do it onco,
but when ho heard tho harsh, un
natural moaning of tfio machine, ho
laughed in a weird way and went out
a drivell, ng maniac."
"Who solicits advertisements for
"Nobody. People don't advertiso
hero. 1 carry three patent medicine
ads., however. One is for a cough
syrup, another for a liqu.d glue, and.
olio for a liver pad. They pay in mer
chandise. 1 have three cords of liver
pads in tho back yard, and I livo on
cough syrup. 1 am trading tho liquid
glue to a furniture dealer, to pay my
funeral expenses when this poor, lisp
ing, stammering tongue is planted in
tho grave. If you feel chilly you can
go out and strap a fow pads about you,
and you aro welcome."
"Do you do job printing?"
"No; there isn't any to do. I print
ed a horse bill for a man once, with a
cut of the horse in the center, but when
it saw tho bill it foil to tho ground a
corpse, and tho owner wouldn't pay
"Havo you many subscribers?"
"Yes, but thoy never pay anything.
One farmer brought mo a dozen eggs
last week, but they were of tho coinage
of 1832, and thepcrfumery that was
stored in them gave mo the catarrh."
"Who is your office boy?"
"I am. When I get through mould
ing public opinion, and d scussing tho
pertinent top.es of tho day, 1 sweep
out tho office and go round delivering
tho paper to subscribers. After that!
engage in a hand-to-hand conflict with
the press for another week's issue, anil
when my weary form sinks beneath it's
load of toil and care, I go down cellar
and refresh myself with a draught of
cough syrup. It is a sad life, stranger,
and if you have a job worth six dollars
a week hoeing corn, I adviso you to
stick to it." I'hc H7u.
Short Essay on Locks.
Since tho timo when primoval man
possessed something worth stealing
there have been locks. Adam had to
lock up his hen-roost as soon as ho
had any neighbors, and Evo-11 boforo
that day was ho not locked out of tho
Garden of Eden?
The lock is a perpetual omblom of
man's inherent dishonesty, for if ho
was never seized witli a desire to
possess that which did not bulong to
him thoro would bo no locks. Thoir
origin is coexistant with tho possession
of property. There have boon nations
without a knowledge of locks, but thoy
had nothing worth carrying off.
Among the most noted locks in Bible
times were tho locks of Absoloin, but
us ho was hanged on account of them
they must have been a fraud. Defeat
ed by the enemy ho bolted, but tho
bolt didn't savo him.
Very celebrated, too, woro Sampson's
locks, indicating great strength, but
they were picked one day by an export
female safe blower, named Delilah, to
whom Sampson, in a moment of weak
ness, had revealed tho combinat on.
Tho earliest lock of which tho con
struction is known is th Egyptian,
which was in use 4.000 years ago. As
tho key to it is in hieroglyphics wc can
not givo it bore. Nor can wo stato tho
prico of an Egyptian lock, but tho high
er tho lock tlio'hiorogl . phic, of course.
Tho Chinese lock is a verys mplo affiiir.
It is a singlo lock allowed to grow long
and hang down the back. It is called a
Bank locks used to bo considered bur
glar proof as a rule, but what is urgent
ly demanded now is a bank look that
will keep tho president or cashier from
There is many a celebrated loch in
Scotland, whilo" in England thoy havo
Loeko on tho Understanding, which
will probably prevent many English
men from comprehending tho full pur
pose ami scope of this essay. Texas
Tho Jloro Eligible Man.
Two men wero discussing tho avail
abilities of their favorites for chaplaiu
of tho Arkansaw houso of representa
tives. "My preacher is entitled to tho
place,." said ono man. "Ho was a
brave soldier iu tho Confederate army
"That's nothing," tho othor broko
in, "mino was in both armies."
"That's all very well, but you soo
mine is blind in ono eyo and therefore
needs tho place."
Mino is blind in both oyos."
"Yos, but you seo mino is deaf."
"That's nothing, mino is deaf and
"Woll, now, since you bogin to talk
about fitness for tho position, let me
tell you that my candidate is deaf,
dumb and parahzed."
"That amouuts to nothing. Mino is
doaf, dumb, paralyzed, has a bad cold
and is iu debt; sutlers from a loss of
memory ami can't cat anything.
Don't talk to mo for I have the most
eligible man In the race." A rkansam