The Hack Writer.
The hack writer in n country town is
rather a pleasant fellow who wears
dingy clothes ami whose shirt bosom is
stained with the blubbering spray from
a largo quid of tobacco. JIc has ex
pressed so many opinions for other
people that ho has none of Ii is own.
lie docs nearly all tho writing for the
local paper, but gets no credit and but
little pay for it During the county
political enmpaign, he wrilcB commu
nications for both parties. Ask iv man
who tho hack writer is and ho answers:
"Oh. that's old Tom So-and-So. Sort
of n literary man. Writes death verses
and political editorials. Putty sharp
feller, but ho don't amount to anything.
Never had a dollar in his life." Some
one meets tho hack writer and asks:
"Tom, are you busy?" .
"No; wny?"
"Wanted you to do a little writing
for mo."
"All right."
4 Did you see tho last issue of tho
IorscFly? Jim Dicklcson comes out
and gives me lils. 1 want you to writ
mo an article that will tear him all to
pieces. Como uround to my oiliec."
,Si vcr.il days afterward, Jim Dickie
son meets tho hack writer ami says:
"Did you sue Lagson's como back at
tho article yon wrote for mo?"
"Yes, believe I did."
"Well, 1 want you to burn him up.
Come on around to my ollico. I'll pay
you for it."
Tho hack writer soon has about a col
umn and a half of vituneration.
"How do you like thai?" ho asks,
when ho has read it to Dicklcson.
"First rate. About how much do
you think it is worth?"
"1 don't know."
"Set j'our price on it."
"I don't like to prico another man's
work."
"Hut I don't know how much it is
worth to you.".
"Well, will scventy-iivo cents bo
about right?"
"Yes, I reckon so."
"Hero's your money."
Tho hack writer is always ready to
represent any paper at n press conven
tion, but ho never goes on press excur
sions, When asked way ho cannot go,
ho replies:
"1 cannot sparo tho time."
"Oh, you can spare thrco or four
days. We'll have a lirst-class time,
and will get cut rates at tho hotels."
"1 don't mind tho expense, but I
really cannot sparo the timo."
.Just then a man rails the hack asido
and says: "I liavo just received a eut
' ting letter, and I want you to answer
it for me. Come on, dasli it oil', and
then I'll set up tho drinks." Arkati
$aw Traveler.
A Midsummer-Day's Dream.
All cummer long I liavc piled t lie law,
I really think I must recruit.
I dream I lieiir the occmi'h roar
While In the courts 1 press my suit.
The tullor duns urn for hit pcoro:
I need new U'linls elothcti t'o bout,
I'll boldly null; Into the store
And liavo him press my lust year's Milt.
Ah I then I'll seek Hint ocenii's chore,
Deserting courts, both real und moot:
I'll learn miother kind ot lore,
As by her side I pro my Milt,
(itvryc A'. Thnxtp, In Life.
A Notablo Event.
Tho biggest colored wedding over
witnessed in Louisiana was that cele
brated at Soulotiipio plantation, in Iber
ville Parish, recently. Few while wed
dings compare with it, Thoro was a
special train from this city for tho in
vited guests, a string bund imported
especially for tho occasion and refresh
ments by tho first restaurantour in Now
Orleans. Uy day tho mansion of tho
brido's father was a mass of natural
flowers; by night tho grounds wore
llghtod with lanterns and Japanoso lire.
All tho cream of colored society graced
tho occasion and not a few white per
sons of standing were among tho guests.
As for tho dresses, few ball-rooms have
Been auy thing liner or tastier.
Tho contracting parties wero Miss
Kladio Allam, daughter of a member of
tho Louisiana legislature, and Prof.
Palmerston Lanihy, of Mansilold Col
logo, another legislator. Tho brido'n
father, originally a slave and coachman,
bore in those days tho name of Soulou
one. lie has not altogether forgotten
that time, for his sugar plantation, onu
of tho handsomest and prettiest in Lou
isiana, Mill recalls tho old slave days in
Its natno Soulouipio whereas ho him
self is to-day Hon. Thoophilo Allaln.
Every prominent negro politician in tho
United States was invited to this event,
ami nearly all sent presents or congrat
ulatory telegrams. Charleston Courier.
Shoai's or Pair of Shoars.
Perhaps somo of our readers aro crit
ical enough in tho uso of languago to
decide whether tho customer or the
clerk was right in tho following dia
logue; (.'iistomor (to olork in hardwaro
store) "Show mo a small, low-priood
fchears."
Clerk (facetiously) "Perhaps you
moan a pair of shoars."
Customer (sovcroly) I moan precise
ly what I said."
Clerk (dolluntly, opening a specimen
nrt.cle)- "Aro thoro not two blade
hero? and don't two mnko a pair?"
Customer (triumphantly) "Von
havo two logs. Doos that make you a
pnlr of men?"
Tho shoars wero dono up In profound
slleuce. Tho Homestead.
Some Summer Girls.
Tho unlucky girl who is one of six
or seven big sisters.
Tho ciddy girl who wears short
skirts, tight shoes and dotes on Sar:
toga.
Tho olophanUnc girl who bowls twico
a dav in an incneotual oflort to reduce
her weight.
Tho engaged girl who, with an an
ions air, is always expecting a telegram
from "him."
The envied Now' York girl, who lias
more stylish dresses than anyone else
in the house.
J ho subdued girl with older sisters
who wishes they would marry ofT am
let her have a chance.
Tho lively Atlantic City girl, whose
cras:o is caramels, and who thinks tho
sweetest thing in life is dancing on the
pier.
The sensible, modest girl who be
haves herself and will bn married well
when all tho roighning belles will have
become old maids.
The ingenious girl who, in tho nb
senre of young men, flirts with the
hotel clerk and bathing-master just to
keep her hand in.
Tho smart New England girl who
coos botanizing and paralyzes the
young men with long, Latin namos.
Tho ilgly girl, with a blue-blood ped
igree, at Mount Dcserl, to whom every
nice young man lias to bo prcsontcd as
soon as ho arrives.
The stupendous girl, in a lilchoi
green costume and a Rembrandt hat,
who carries her chin in air on the front
seat of a Newport drag.
The eccentric girl who sits on the
beach at Sea Girt alone, or wanders m
tin; woods and doesn't seem to want-to
know a soul in tho house.
Tho shapely girl atNarragansctt Pier
who looks best in her bathing suit and
spends her afternoons in tiio water or
lounging on tho sand.
J no athletic girl who is camping in
tho Adirondacks, who has cultivated
her muscle by smashing the pestiferous
insects that abound there.
Tho inexperienced girl who is tickled
by tho attentions of a played-out beau,
and thinks the othor girls are jealous
when they advise her to diseottrago
them.
The happy girl who went to Europo
early in the season and slipped several
nico Paris dresses through tho Custom
house, in which she now flourishes su
perbly. The flirtatious girl who goes boating
with gallants without a. chapcrono at
Lake George and has boon doing so for
successive seasons without any appre
ciable result.
Tho desporate girl Hearing JiO, with
an extra bottle of ltlooni of Youth and
a trunk-load of juvonilo sashes, who
feels that "now or never" is tho time
to decide her fate.
A sentimental girl who carries a yellow-covered
novel to tiio breakfast ta
ble at Capo May, and whoso stock of
conversation is conlined to a rehash ol
tho latost silly Action. Philadelphia
Time.
Going to a Wedding. .
A young professor in an Illinois uni
versity was engaged to bo married to
the daughter of a wealthy farmer living
in ono of tho estern counties of the
s'alc. On tho day of tho wedding tho
bridegroom was driven in a buggy
through a country road in the direction
of his prospective father-in-law's house.
Not bniug familiar with tho neighbor
hood lie stopped in front of a dilapidat
ed log cabin and inquired of a lank
man who was loaning against a rail
fence:
"Is this the way to Mr. Poddur'.-,?"
The lank man hitched up his troup
ers and said:
"He you going to PotLier'?"
"Yes."
"That's where tho doin's is to-night.
Ills dartor's going to bo hitched."
"Yes."
"Who is she goin' to git?"
"A man named Tompkins," said tho
blushing bridegroom.
"Is ho any good?"
"Pretty poor stick, 1'vo been told."
"lias ho got any Myle?"
"Not niuoh."
"Woll," said tho old man, with a
sigh of rolief, "Pin glad hu's such a
poor shoat, for my gals has got an in
vito to the weddin', an' 1 heard nobody
could go that couldn't eat with thuir
forks. My gals can't eat with their
forks, but 1 reckon I'll lot 'uni go.
Podder's Is two miles ahead." - Torre
Haute Express.
A Problem Solved.
Mother "Carrie, if you don't study
harder at school I'll have to tell your
pa, Mr. Nieefollow says ho has to
keep you in every aftornoon."
Carrie "I tudy hard enough, but
when it comix to recitation I always
in I ii.s somehow -except when I forget."
"Forget what?"
"Forget to ims."
"1 ronlly ea't muleratHudyoUiOhllii."
"Woll, you see, we're wo'ro onjjajf
ed now." Omaha World.
Tonsorial Horn.
An oldurly gentleman, on whose
head only a few lonesome hairs llngvr
otl, untiiruJ a drug store and said to the
el oik:
"I want to buy n hair brush.'
"For your own usuF"
"Yo."
"What's tho mutter with a tooth
bruali?M--3,cii Siftdtijs.
DOMESTIC HINTS.
STEWKD ETKAK.
lake sonic slices of beef, popper and
snlt them well, slice up a couple of
onions thin and lav a 'piece or two of
tho steak at the bottom of a clean sauce
nn, then some ot l Ho onion anil on
that more steak, and so on alternately
till you have put all in; shake and turn
it about frequently to keen it from
burning; let it slow in its own gravy
till the meat becomes tender; then lake
nfl all tho fat from the top, mix sonic
flour in two tablospoonfnls of water
mil pour it gradually into the stow;
stir woll and when it boils up. good rc
move from the lire ami serve.
sti:wj:i vi:ai..
Lay a Irmieklo ol veal in a saucepan
witli two blades of mace, an onion,
small whole pepper and some salt,
with two quarts of water; cover it closo
und let it simmor for two hours.
iti:t:i' jutOTir.
Take a leg of beef, cut it in pieces
out it into :i gallon of water, skim it,
iiit in two or three blades of mace,
5ome parsley and a crust of bread; boil
t till tho beef is tender, toast bread and
;ut into dice, put it in a dish, lay in the
oeef and pour on the broth.
Cut the meat from the bones, and
hainr minced it verv line witli u small
piece of lemon peel, grate over it a lit
tle nutmeg, sprinkle on somo popper
and salt. Put the bones into a sauce
nan with a lanre onion chopped lino
and water enough to moisten well;
thicken with a little flour and butter
and serve on buttered toast.
IIAKICOT MUTTON.
Make a good grevy by boiling the
trimmings, seasoning it with pepper
and salt. Strain and add carrots,
parsnips and onions previously boiled
tender. Slice them in, then pepper
and salt the mutton, broil it brown;
put it into tho gravy along with tho
vegetables, and stew all together ten
minutes.
ISOII.KU CAICItOTS.
Scrape and wasli tliem, then split
tlieni in two, if very largo, into four, and
uut them across; they require long boil
ing to make them soft.
TAl'IOP.V l'l'DDING.
Tako six tablospoonfnls of tapioca
und soak it in milk for some hours be
fore you ilend to use it; when you are
going to make your pudding, put the
tapioca into a quart of milk, place it on
the lire, anil, as soon as it boils, sweet
en it to your taslo and let it simmer for
a quarter of an hour. Pour into a ba
sin and stir in a little fresh butter and
three egirs well beaten. Pake one half
hour.
I.KMO.V ITIMMNl!.
Take the yolks of six eggs well beat
en, with a quarter oi a pounii oi sugar;
take a quarter of a pound of butter
molted in as little water as possible;
keep stirring it until cold; then mix all
together witli tho juice of two lemons
mil the grated peel. Cover the dish
with a thin puiV paste, pour in the
mixture, and bake for half an hour.
CUI'.AM si. AW.
Shave one half head of cabbage, tako
three tablespoonfulls of thick, sweet
ream, three tablespoonfuils of sugar,
alt and pepper to taste, one-half pint
of vinegar. Mix thoroughly.
DOIJOIINUTS.
One eup of sugar, ono cup of sweet
milk, two tablespoufiils each of butter
mil lard, throe eggs, throe teaspoon-
fuls of baking powder, flour enough to
roll well. Cut into bliapo and fry in
boiling lard.
SI'OMii: CAICK.
One-half pound of sugar, three oggs
one-quarter pound of flour, one tea
spoon of baking powder, one-quarter
cup of sweet milk, liako in slow oven.
English, You Know.
When n imm wears r .'ollar that's high,
And ii round piece of jjlass on his eye,
A coat lonjr as emits ro,
And white jailors that cover ench boot,
I'lll It looks like a Chinaman's loot,
Why, It's KikIIIi jou know.
(in Htmoit.
She Did Not Wilt
"Why, Ashley, old man. you look iU
jocted. What,'s the matter with ou,
old fel?"
"To tell the truth, old chappie, I do
feel rat lior rocky. Do you know, I've
just had tho most painful experience of
my life?"
"Indeed, now yon don't ay so. dear
boy. Well, I'm sorry for that. Come,
now, how was it thou?"'
"Whv, it was Miis Tuberose, vou
know. I've been dead gone on her al
most ever sdneo 1 llrst knew her, and
this forenoon, do you know, 1 plucked
up courago and proposed. 1 flatter
myself 1 did it in stlo, too. Wo wero
out walking on tho rocks together, and
when wo camo to a lovely, secluded
spot I dropped my lixudarohiof on the
ground, knelt gracefully down upon it,
and told her all my undying passion.
'Beauteous creature,' mid I with fer
vor, 'yourovod aro bright s shining
stars, and pioreo my very soul. Your
uhot'k ie as tho wild blush-row, your
brow as nhtUutor fair. My iovo for
you shall nuvor die, but I onu and (dial!
unless 1 havo your pity nd uu, lows.
Oh, angol of my heart, wilt thou bo
mine? That's what 1 said. Sort of
blank verge, you see. KuUior i? neat
proposal, too, 1 flutter iu)olt. Don't
you think so?"
"Porfoolly iiiinieii5. doar boy. Per
fectly Iminpuito, Ami d d slut wilt?
What did stto f"
"Oh. that's the trouble
Chestnut.' "--Somen'Wt ..n
Suokakl
W f&si
Absolutely Pure.
This powder never v,m. A mnrvrl ol
purity, Mlrouth and wlmii soni'iifs. More
eonomiial limn tho ord.unry Kinds, and
rannot ho sold in cumin tition with the
mult it iido ot low terit, Hlmrt weight nlnm
or phosplnite powderx. Hold only in cans
Koyai. 1Uki.no I'owiir.u Co., 3 00 Wall St.,
i. y.
HENTENMAL HOTEL BAB,
E. MILLER, Proprietor.
Having fitted up tho Centennial Hotel
Hur-roun, and removed my stock ol
Wines, Liquors & Cigars
to that place, I am better prepared than
ever to entertain and regain my customers.
I keep none but the best of
EuHtcrn I.lciuoriH, Itlllivniilccc. Walla
Wnlln, and Union Itcci.
Also, till) Finest Brands of Cigars.
COMMERCIAL
nmmr ninl TJonfl
iifuij ami roou oui
Ofi'osin: Ckxti:sm.vi. Hotci.
JOHN S. KI.lOTT,
PJtOIMlIKTOR.
irnvinc furnished this old and popular
hostelry with ample room, plenty ot feed,
good hostlers and new bujjjj'eH, is better
prepared than ever to aeeommodate cus
tomers. Jly terms are reasonable.
B
Adam Oiioshman, I'lioi'itinTon.
Has now on hand and for Palo tho best ol
HARNESS, LADIOO,
urn: it and
I.At'E LEATHER.
SHEEP SKINS, ETC.
in:rrniArvn ec:si:j:s
Paid for Hides ami Pelts.
HOT LAKE!
Situated four miliM mst of Union depot
on Houth side of the O. 1!. it N. Co. 'a rail
road. ifAEI MURAL BATHS.
In Comfoi t.ilile lloomw.
Honltli for tho Sick, and Host for tho
Weary.
Especinllv nditi.led for the Relict of Wo
men. Id muler the supir imoi ol ono H0
hut) had thirty yearn' epericm'e.
S. 1'. NEW HARP, Proprietor,
SMOKE OUR
4
P
95
Pest Havana Filled
Five Cent Cioar. 5
Jones Pros., agents, Union.
E. GOLLINSKY & CO.
A Positive Cure.
MEN. you ni,
nini;le or mitiru d,
LOST
middle-. itfed
and all w ho
and
niter
old,
with
.lSAMI!Ma.
Nervous Peltiln y. Spermatorrhea. Seminal
l.oe-, SeMiul Pee.iy, Tallin' Memory
Weak Eyes, stunted development, luek ol
onergy, iinpoverinlil It.ood, pimpleH, 1111
pedimtmtd to mnriiaxe; nlnohlood iimUkin
disease, Hypiuu, erupuoiiH, imir aiuin;,
bone pniiiti, nwelliun, sore throat, ulcere,
flectw of mercury, kidney ami bladder
troublev, wenk buck, luiniiin.' urine, incon
tinence, uouorrhu'H, gleet, stricture, receive
earchiiiit treatment, prompt, relit)! ami
cure for lift).
Hotii Sk.mw coiitf'ilt confidentially. If in
trouble, call or write. Delay are danger
ous. t'll at once; SJ." y.ar experience. Terms
Conll. Olliie lioms S :i. m. li 8 p. '.j.
' DR. VAN MOW, ISCAR,
VA2 I U 1 1, ud t. p,,rt l.i ml, Orejom
SPRING BLOSSOM
BOILS, riJIPLES, IJLOTCIIKS
And Eruptions of the Skin. Dys
Pbpsia, Sick Headache, and all
KIDNEY COMPLAINTS,
brioO fc.Tlun lll,w ii. f-tli)VKp.la, liulUe
lo j..l SkW Itmd.eli. m.!Im fuu ld Ii lg Tut 11
saiul4r it unrna.u u
imt ii a rforiK."
ii-m sua (ium runner, i
ou rc a. llttfrt)' to ute nj
ii
Trice, 50cj Trial Siie, 10c.
Sold tova.ll Drueeiata
o
TCHELL
factory. Ram, wis. Bund, wuai, urepn
Manufaeturors
RARRIAfiFS. RIIGIIilPfi. PHAPTflNfi
B0 dUUBD Gnu KcM 53a e ids' ESJ wl lira a iiSl Vti?
J
Buckboards, Road Carls,
a
3i
CANTON CLIPPER PLOWS, 11AUROWR. ETC.
GALE CIltl.LKD PLOWS. AND IDI5AL PLED MILLS.
SEND FOR CATALOGUE AND PRICE LIST. FREE.
MITCHELL & LEWIS CO., Limited.
192-191 Front St., Portland, Oregon.
Pianos
WALLA WALLA,
HOWLAND
Munl.u
ST
Tvlain Street,
01
XJ" I
Keep ooiHtaiitlyon hand a largo supply of Parlor anil Red Room Sots, Bid
ding, Di'sks, Ollii'L' Furniture, i-tc.
Upholstering Done in tie Best Style.
Lounges, Mattresses, and all Kinds of Furniture inailo to order. Your patron
age solicited.
Doalers hi-
yooenes, imogos mm uEgars.
Variety and Fancy Goods,
Watches, Clocks and Jewelry.
Musical Instruments, Picture Frames, Bird Cages, Baby Carriages, Etc.
Candies, Nuts and Fruits, Sclisol Books, Stationery, Periodicals, Novels,
Etc., of Every description.
Orders from all parts of tho country promptly attended to.
PHOTOGRAPH
All 'tis of Flioloppliic Wort
New Scenery and Accessories Just Received.
All Work Warranted
VIEWS OF RESIDENCES
$( L!
IS CO,
(LIMITED.)
of and Dealers in
B V.l
Spring; Wagons,
Etc.
El
gent.
WASHINGTON TERRITORY.
& WILSON',
turers of
ITUR
Union,
Oregon.
4
- GALLERY.
Done in a superior manner.
M -WW
to Give batisiacuon.
TAKEN ON APPLICATION.
Organs