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About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (May 29, 1886)
THIS TIME IT IS ILLINOIS. Odcll Vlllnso, I'ory Mllo South it Jollct, III., Almost Wlpiil Out. On tho 12th n terrible cycU.nc struck the village ol Odcll, III., which demolished one brick block, wrecked threo warehouses, tin tooled tho hotel, Masonic hall and some four store buildings; also the upper story of the Angell block, in which wns tho Odcll bank and tho Odd Follows lodge-, was com pletely destroyed. Scarcely a store room in the town escaped Injury. Tho loss will nmour.t to $50,000. Houses, bnrns nnd tilled g were twisted oil their foundation, blown down and completely destroyed Trees a foot in diameter wero twisted en tiiely off. Tho storm did not Inst over live minutes. Ten minutes before the storm the air seemed to get green. Two clouds spemed to advance, one from tho south nnd one from the northwest, and met over tho town, forming a monstrous whirlwind which swept everything in its track. The lurse livery barn of Hard brothers was completely destroyed. Alnrso three-story mill was Mown off its foundation. Tho two-story brick hardware store of S. Colo is a total wicck. Tho hotel is injured from top to bottom and not a whole window re unitiiH in the building. A number of resi liences wcro badly wrecked and as many as seven bnrns blown to pieces. Streets lilted with timbers, boards, fences, tin roofs and prostrated trees. Tho new school houso is partly unroofed. A one-story school building is completely destroyed. The Congiegationnl churcli is twisted into bad shape. Tho Methodist church has ono stoeplo blown off. Tlioso fatally injured arc: Lottie Swift, a 10-ycar-old girl, who was carried over 200 feet in tho air and fell on the railroad track, smashing her Bkull; (ieoico and Charles Hoke, laboring men; S. S. Cole, hardware mcrchnut, and two chil dren of John Milloi wero seriously hurt. The Utter had taken rofugo in a brick building and wcro buried, nnd with these, nil of whom wero supposed to be danger ously injured, but two escaped without a scratch. ENHOKSKMKNT OF GLADSTONE. The Novu Scotl.i Legislature. Com mend Slouie-ISulo. Halifax dl'pntoli: Tho Nova Scotia Legis lature passed unanimously tho following reso lution: Wheishah, The Ut-IIon. William Ewart Gladstone, Premier of Great llritaln, has pro pounded to the l'arllaincntof England a meas ure having for Its object the settlement nnd adjustment of the grievances complained of as incident to tho existing political relations be tween (Sicnt lirituln anil Ireland, and the es tablishment of an Independent Parliament in Ireland charged with the duty of legislating In the respect of many Important public mat ters in the Interests of that part of the Empire; ami Whekkas, Tlic object of tho said measure is to concede to the people of Ireland the privileges of local self-government, as well as to alleviate theevils consequent on the present condition of the land tenure in that part of the country : Ho it therefore Jletolntl, That this llousr derives to record Its warm sympathy with the noble effort thus put fotlh by Mm Premier of Great Hrltaiu in the direction of tho reform referred to, nnd would express the sincere hope that his efforts mav ho crowned with success. (SEN. AltTHUlt'S END NEAIt. A l'ornoiinl I'll c nil of tho Ux-I'rcsl-deiit Tells ol UN Alllnu. Washington special: "I saw ex-Presidont Arthur on Tuesday,"snysagentleman who has been n personal friend of tho ex-prcsi-dent for many years. "I cannot tell you how shocked I wns to boo how ho is broken down. lie used to weigli over 200 pounds. 1 doubt if lie would now pull down tlioscales nt 1-10. You know how neatly ho dressed nnd how perfectly his clothes fitted him. Ho wore a dressing gown and had sunken away almost to emnciation. His face is of n pasty white, marking the last stages of that horrible Uriglit's disease. Ho can ncaiccly speak beyond a husky whisper. I remember him in thp white house, courteous nnd graceful, the typionl American gentle man, and now ho has come to this." "Tho New York city press, with unusual courtesy, havo let him alone nnd tho man aging editors, in spito ol their desiro for news, havo respected tho ending that can not bo far away. Theniorbid appetite lias not been fed with tho talo of an ex-president's sufferings which ho hns borne in fiiloncc and with stoical courage. I do not like to speak of this nt all and would not except to let tho ex-president's friends know tho real, sad truth." People of Washington nro shocked to hoar this. President Arthur was always a favorite here. Succeeding to tho high posi tion ho held under conditions of excep tional sadness, ho filled tho place with dig nity and decency. KILLED BY GXATS. The Horrible Death ofa Colored man in Arkansas, Memphis dispatch: For several days past the pests of the lower Mississippi valley, the buf falo gnats, have been doing their work of de struction among the stock. Kcports of cattle, horses and mules having been gi.aded to death by these Insects are received daily. Informa tion was received that Hill Snelss, n colored tenant on Presideut Hadden's plantation, In Crittenden county, Ark., had been stung and choked to death by these pests. Ho was found dead on the McDonald place, evidently a vic tim to the gnats, which swarmed about the corpse. Gnats were crawling In anJ outof his ears and nose. His mouth and nostrils were lllled with gnats. Swarms of gnats had set tled In his wide-stretched eyes, and were feel ing en the sightless orbs. His clothing was filled with gnats, and a halo of gnats hovered around the dead man. Snelss had been in the L'Anguille Swamps, and It is supposed had tried to get away from the gnats. Tho Insects were eo thick, however, that they drove him wild, and finally becoming exhaust-'d, he fell prostrate, then was smothered by the swarm of gaits. The death of Snolss must have been horrible, choked Into eternity by a seething, living myriad of Insects. This Is the sicond case on record where buffalo gnats havo de stroyed human life. In 1S4 a man met death In the same horrible fashion that Snelss did, near Haunes Station, St. Francis county, Ar kansas. Favorable Crop llepnrt. St. Paul dispatch. The crop reports from the northwest this we, with a fw exceptions are of tho most favorable char acter. Frequent rains have liw-u followed by cool weather, nnd vogeUtion has n vfeerous start. In Dakota whU is four to tux inches high, with better stand than last year. Some complain of too much rain in Northern Minnesota nnd ol wet In the southern parts of the state. NATIONAL CAPITAL NOTES. 1-ne sennie committee on commerce has ordered a favorable report upon Mr. Frye's bill to limit tho commercial privileges ol tho vessels of foreign countries in ports of tho United Stntes to such purposes as aro nccorded to American vessels in tho ports ol such foreign countries. 1 ho bill istofoo reported as an amendment to the shipping bill. Senator Van Wyck nindo a strong speech in the senate on the Kith in support of his proposed amendment to tho general pea sion bill. Tho bill proposes to give to all who served ex months or more in the ser vice of the union in the late war, who aro now dependent upon their own labor for support and who nro disabled from nny cause whatever, a pension in accordance with tho disability, but not to exceed l n month. Tho pension snail bo rated by examination as now. A strong protest has been received nt tho interior department from citizens of est cm Nebraska against the Coke bill, which has passed tho senate, establishing nn in ter state cattle trail from Texas to Mon tuna, six miles wide. Tho bill leads ono to believe that tho trail runs through Colo rndo, but it has been discovered that it passes through Western enrnsun, on range 41, and Secretary Lamar says if tlm bill is deceptive it BliouUl not bo passed. Confession oT n Terrible Deed. A special dispatch Irom Neillsville, Wis., says that Mrs. Wright, who has been scv pral days in jail on suspicion of having, a week ago, poisoned her husband, lias con fessed to tho murder. Daniel Allen, her alleged paramour, was immediately ar rested as an accessory. Tho woman's state ment was: "She and Allen hnd been inti mate for nearly two years; that she was to kill her husband witli poison; alterward Allen was to murder his wife in tho same way; then after niting a sullicient time tho partners in crime were to bo wedded. Mrs. Wright gavo her husband a doso of poison, but it was so largo ho threw it up. Two weeks later Allen fixed a potion for right that killed him. J he townspeople nro greatly excited and tlicro aro many threats of lynching. CnptrCnnvrbrd'sDeatli. Tho secretary of state received a pre liminary report from tho consul at Paso Del Norte, Mexico, in regard to the killing of Captain Crawford. United States army, by Mexican soldiers in January last. He says that there is no way of obtaining (lolinito information, owing to ino ausenco of witnesses to the tragedy, and adds that it is conceded by both sides that tho attack was made by tho irregular Mexican troops employed by tiio stato of Chihuahua, tlirouL'li an unfortunate accident, and without mnlice. Ho says, further, that tiio depredations committed in Mexico by Indians nurtured by tho United States government is a griovanro that cannot lie overlooked, rue circumstances aiieuiiuig the affair nro being investigated by tho Mexican authorities. Oppose Taxing Oleomargarine. Tho board of directors of tho Chicago board of trade adopted a resolution pro testing against the adoption of tho bill taxing oleomargarino and liko products nnd praying congress to defeat it, alleging that tho bill is simply to lurtner tiio dairy interests, to the completo destruction ol tho nianufncturo of oleomargarine, etc., nn industry which hns produced nn article of food at onco pure, wholesome, nnu econ omical and nccentable: and by reason ol tho growing demand for it has added at least 4 to the value of every bullock, thereby enhancinc tho farm and stock rais ing interests, nnd placing within reach ol all an acceptable, economical, wholesome articlo of food. Lucky Knight of Labor. A young Swede named Sandleaf, aged 10, who lives in Northboro, Mass., went to his olllco tho other morning nnd there found ten money orders calling for 100eacli. It Rooms that when young Sandleaf was n baby an uncle in Sweden left him $l.,fl00 which has since been on interest. Tho amount which tho luck lad received was the lirst installment of his little fortune, the whole of which will como into his pos session when ho attains majority. Sand leuf was recently employed in A. W. Col burn's piano factory and was discharged because ho was a Knight of Labor. Serious "Work of u Tornndo. Pn-r.suuitoir, Pa., May i;t. Dispatches from points along the Coneiuaugh valley report sev eral persons serlotibly Injured by the tornado which passed over that boctlon Monday even ing. Mrs. James llretts, who had given birth to a cuiui .mailt turec Hours oelorc and was in tied, was carried out over the fence Into a field and was picked up more dead than alive. She Is not expected tollve. ltertio 1'oust, a friend of Mrs. iireus, was carried some distance. Jolm Foiifct's houso was blown down and the bed clothes carried a mile and a half aud lodged In treetops. TUB MARKETS. OMAHA WiiKiT-Nn. 2... 1!ahi.i:v No. 2 Kyi: No. 2 Co UN No. 2 mixed. Oats No. 2 llfTTim Clioico table.. liiiTTi:ii Fair to good. Koos Fresh CllirKr.NH Livoper doz Li;.Mo.vs Clioico Oiianoi:s Mesina Iii:.NN Nav.vs Onions Per libl Potatoes Per bushel Wool Kino, tier lb Ki:i:i)s Timothy 2 20 Si:i:iis llluo Grass 1 110 Hay Haled, por ton 5 50 Hay-Iii bull: 0 00 Hons Mixed packing !t 05 Ui:kvi:s Choice to oxtrn... 4 50 Sm:i:i Heavy grados 4 25 NUV YOKK. Wiiiut No. 2 red Whkat Ungraded red. Cons No. 2 87'fa 87)4 45 115 0 25 0 22 4 40 4 05 75 !tl!-i 01 40 4 a 0 50 0 25 4 75 5 00 75)( 2!) 8 80 n 07v; 4 an 4 80 G CO 79 8 Oats Mixed western. Poiik L.viin CHICAGO. Fi-oun Winter Fl.ocn Patents , Wiii:at Per bushel. Coiin Por bushel.... Oats Pur bushel.. 2hWcfl Pun 8 77 i, vim r 85 Hons Packing it shipping. 4 10 ( mi.K Stockers .'1 00 Siiuur Natives 2 CO O ST. L.OUJS. Whkat No. 2 red Cons Per bushel Oath Per bushel Hoos Mixed packing.. 78' as 28 n '.to a 50 a oo 28fc 4 10 4 50 4 00 01 27!,' 2C 4 ao 4 00 a os Catti.1! Stockersifc feeders Snunr Common to choice KANSAS CITY. WiiriAT Porbushel CO Cans Per bushel Ufltf Oats Per bushel 25 uatti.b oiocKcrs ;-iu I loos Good to choice II CO Shkep Common to good., 11 00 r8 u r.s'i 4'A -It 45 M 4(5 21!,' 2 UK .... 2 US 22 .... 10 1- 7 10 s (a) s .... a no a 75 .... (i 00 0 50 .... : 75 4 00 .... 10 5 1 75 2 50 00 !I5 (g) 40 14 (i) 1(5 2 50 M 1 40 (5 0 25 7 00 fy) a 75 4 00 5 00 How a Detective Got Left. "Did I ever consult n clairvoyant for information'.'" repeated a detect no recently, as ho Mushed up and looked foolish over tho question. "Come, answer." "Well, once upon a time I did, nnd 1 don't mind telling you that I made a fool of myself not by consulting her, but byrefiising to heedher information. This statement probably astonishes you, and I will therefore explain. Do you remember when Preston's bank was robbed?" "Yes a good many years ago." "So it wns, and 1 had been detailed on the detective service about a fort night. Naturally I wanted to make a strike. My wife realized it, aud she put me up to see a clairvoyant. I thought it a silly thing to do, and one night I slipped oil like a criminal and dodged into tho oilico of a leading fe male nstroiogist and planked down a dollar. I hadn't tho faintest hope of securing any information of value, and therefore her vcrv lirst words were a stunner. She said: " 'You are looking for critninnls.and I will help you to capture three ol them this very night!' " 'If you please,' I modestly replied. "'At 11 o'clock to night,' she con tinued, 'men will set out to rob a bank. They are now consulting in n room and they have placed blankets to the windows to hide their light. 11 you go at once and get help you can capture them. '"Hut where is it?' " 'Let me see. The building is rath or old. It is on a corner. Astairway leads up from a side street. Street cars pass the door. It is a mile or more from this house.' "I questioned her for ten minutes, but she could give me no closer mfor mation. For a time 1 thought there might bo something in it, but after getting outdoors I kicked myself for an idiot. I knew all tho banks in town, but I could think of only one which bore tins description, feuppose 1 started out to prove her words true? 1 should be obliged to summon help, and what would any sano man reply when I told him that my information camefrom a clairvoyant? I went down to headquarters, found everything quiet, and went home and called my wife a hoodie-head and crept off. to bed. Next morning, as I went down town, the bank was in tho possession of the police. A hole had been cut through the lloor of the room over the vault, the brick of the vault roof re moved, and the robbers had descended and made their haul, departing some time belore davliglit. ion can t nn agino mv feelings, no matter how hard you try. J had been swindled at both ends of tho route.' Detroit Free Press. How n Clerk "Won li is "Way. Tho dry-goods chronicle has a story, tho lesson of which stands out so clear y that it cannot escape attention: One of the wealthiest merchants of this city graphically relates how ho commenced business: "J entered a store and asked if a, clerk was nob wanted. 'No!' in a rough tone, was the answer, all being too busy to bother with me, when J reflected that if they did not want a clerk they might want a laborer; but I was dressed too line for that. I went to my lodgings, put on a rough garb and next day went into the samo storo and de manded if they did not want a porter, and again 'No, sir,' was the response, when I exclaimed in despair almost: 'A laborer? Sir, I will work at any wages. Wages is not my object. I must havo employment, and I want to bo useful in business.' These last remarks attracted their attention, and in the end I was hired as a laborer in tho basement and sub-collar at very low pay, scarcely enough to keep body and soul togothor. Jn tho basement and sub-cellar I soon attracted tho attention of tho count ing houso and chief clerk. I saved enough for my employers in little things usually wasted to pay my wages ten times over, and they soon found it out. I did not let anybody :ommit petty larcenies without re monstrance and threats of exposure if remonstrance would not do. I did not ask for any eight or ten-hour law. If I was wanted at li o'clock in tho morning I never growled, but told ;vorybody to go homo and I would seo everything right. I loaded off at day break packages for tho morning boats, or carried them myself. In short, I soon became, as 1 meant to ba, indis pensable to my employers, and I rose, until I became head of this houso with money enough for any luxury or any position a mercantile man may desiro tor himself and family inagrcat city.'' "ire Called 3Ie AVhittnkor." Hero-worshippers havea better time of it than tho heroes who havo to sub mit to their worship. Tho latter (in cluding all distinguished men) aro largely atthomeicyof a class of ad mirers who aro too obtuso to see any violation of good manners or tnste in their parsuit of interviews and auto iraphs. illiam Warren tells a delicious story about a St. Louis man who tvent cast last summer and hunted up tho poet Whittier. Ho found tho quiet old Quaker poet trying to hide from civilization in a farinhouso near Na nnnt. Ho had gone thero to escape just such Ho res as tho St. Louis man ivus. At first ho declined to seo the visitor saying that ho was not feeling strong, but tho Missouri man was so persist snt that at last Whittier yielded, and ho was admitted. Ho pounced upon tho poet, and nearly shook his arm Irom the sockot. He declared that he adored tho poet's works in fact, lie read nothing else. He asked Whittier to writohisnamo i few hundred times on a sheot ofnoto paper, that he might distribute tho autographs among his friends, aud it was all tho poot could do to keop tho impetuous visitor from cutting the buttons from his coat to carry away as mementoes. "And all the time," said Whittier, pathetically, as he told his adventure, "he called me Whittaker." Fuels About IMnncls. Venn, so well known to us all as the loxliest obji-ct in tho heavens the ?vening and the morning star rejoin oleS closely our earth. Its Mois about :ho same, its diameter being T.CioO miles; its day is almost the same length, and its density is rather less than livo times that of water. It re volves round tho sun at a distance of (10,000,000 miles in tho space of li'J I Jays. Like Mercury, however, Venus is moonless. Passing the earth in the meantime, we come to the well-known red planet. Mars. This planet is par ticularly interesting in many points of view. Next to mercury, it is thesinnll est of the four interior planets, its di ameter being only 1. -00 miles, or lit tle more than half that of the earth or Venus Its distance from the sun is 141, 00C, 000, and it completes its cir cuit in US7 days. Tho length of its days does not dillor materially from that of our own. Mars has two moons, and one of them presents a phenomenon unique in the svstciu. No other moon behaves liko this one, for it goes around Mars about three times everyday; that is to say, it goes faster round Mars than Mars does on its own axis. Imagine our moon ris ing and setting three times every 121 hours. Another interesting feature in Mars is this: We can seo through our telescopes what seems to bo tho configuration of its continents and oceans, and also accumulations of snow at its poles. Wo next turn our attention to the other group of planets Jupiter, Saturn, I'ranus and Neptune. These aro distinguished by their enormous size, immense distance from the sun, rapid revolution on their own axis, and very small density. Tho change from Mars to Jupiter is indeed ro markable. The latter planet, familiar to every observer of t ho heavens, is indeed a giant amonggiants. in mass it is ciiual to all tho other planets put together, its diam eter being no less than 85,000 miles, and its distance from the sun OS2,000,OUO miles. It takes 1,.'U112 days to complete its yearly revolution. Although of such enormous dnnen sions, it turns on its own axis in less than ten hours. From the small densitv 1 .!!S of Jupiter we should "magine it to bo composed, in great ,iart, at least, of Hum or gaseous mat tor not vet cooled sulliciently to form solid land. From certain phenomena on its surface it is evident it is almost completely enveloped in clouds, and it is doubtful if we havo actually seen tho real solid mucleus of tins planet Jupiter is attended by four moons, which revolve around him at various distances. The studv of these bodies is of great interest; from watching their movements we got the first hint of velocity of light. Next in order in our outward journey comes bnturn, at the distance of SS 1,000,000 miles from the sun, and taking no less than 10, in!) days to complete its revolu tion round that luminary. This planet, though less than .Jupiter, is still of gigantic dimensions, its di ameter being 1 1 ,000 miles. Saturn is the lightest of nil the planets, its den sity being only 0.7.", so that if placed in a hugo ocean it would float with a fourth of a bulk above the level of tho water. The most remarkable thing, however, about this planet is thosys tern of the rings by which it is sur rounded. What these rings aro lias long been a puzzlo toastronoiners.bu!; i lie most piausiuie explanation seems to bo that they are composed ol myr iad hosts of small meteoric bodies circulating at some distance round tho body of tho planet. Saturn has no less that eight moons under its control, and if it has any inhabitants liko ourselves -which is not likely how ever the heavens must bo a strango sight to them, with these eight moons and meteoric swarms Tho Three .lolly Husbands. Threo iolly husbands out in tho country.by tho names of Tim Watson, Joo Drown and Mill Walker, sat ono evening drinking at tho village tavern, until being pretty well coined, they agreed that each one, on returning home, should do tho first thing that Ins wife told him, m default of which ho should tho next morning pay the bill. They then separated for tho mglit, engaging to meet the next morn ing and give an honest account of their proceedings at home, so tarns they related to tho bill. Tho next morning Walker and Drown wero early at their posts, but it was some time before Watson made his appear ance. Walker began first: "You see, when 1 entered my houso the candle was out, and, tholirogiving but a glimmering of light, I camo near walking into a pot of batter that tho pancakes wero to bo made of in tho morning. My wile, who wns dreadful .y out of humor, said to mo sarcastic ally: "'Mill, do put your foot in that bat ter.' "'Just as you say, Mugcy,' said I, nnd without tho least hesitation I put my foot in tho pot of batter and went to bed." Next Joo Drown told his story "My wife had already retired in our usual sleeping-room, which adjoins tho kitchen, and the door of which was ajar; not being able to navigate oerfeetly, yuti know, I ninde a dread iul clattering among tho household furniture, and my wife, in no very pleasant tone, bawled out "'Do break tho porridge pot.' "No sooner said than done. I seized hold of the handle of tho pot, and, striking it against tho chimney jam, broko it in a thousand pieces. After this exploit I retired to rest, and got a curtain lecture till I fell asleep." It was now Tim Watson's turn to zivo an account of himself, which ho Jid with a very long face, as follows: "My wife gavo mo tho most unlucky rommand in tho world lor 1 was blundering up-stairs in the dark when die cried out " 'Now, Tim, do break your neck. " I'll be cussed if I do. Kate,' said I, gathering myself up in tho best way I :ould. 'No, I'll t-ooner foot the bill." "And ho, landlord," continued Tim, "here's thoenshforyou. Dut by jingo, this is tho last time I'll ever risk live dollars on command of my wife." Seir-I'olsonlng-. Krom tlic Youth's Companion. Our readers are familiar with tho fact that, in Dright's disease, the kid neys ate unable fully to remove their allotted portion of the waste matter of tho system. Hence this accumu lates in tho blood as a hurtful and oft en as a fatal poison, the heart, lungs or brain at length giving way under its influence. Still more familiar are they with that uncomfortable and depressed condition, popularly known as bil iousness, duo to a partial failure in the normal action of the stomach, liv er and bowels. In both theso cases the body is, to a greater or less extent, self-poisoned. Thirty years ago it was, discovered that decomposing animal' substance develonos a violent poison. Twenty years later tho poisonous principle was isolated, crystalized, and a name given it ptomaine. In JS70 Gautier discovered a somewhat similar poison in the muscular juice of healthy ani mals, and also in their urine. Later it has been extracted from fiecal mat ter. All of theso aro poisonous in a high degree. Some resemble the venom of the most poisonous serpents. That obtained from healthy muscle, when injected in minute quantity into tho veins of a dog, produced stupor, trembling, universal spasms, slow respiration, and death in forty-live minutes. In ISSL Dr. Gautier found that such poisons constantly appear in the ex cretions of living and healthy animals, and even in the saliva. The term lcu coinaino was adopted as the name of such as are developed within the living body. They are believed to be nor mal products of bodily waste, as much so ascarbonic acid, urea, etc. Accord ing to Gautier, they accumulate in the blood when for' various reasons the skin, the kidneys and the digestive tract fail to eliminate them. In a stato ol health we resist inces sant self-poisoning, not only by elim ination of the poisonous principle, but especially by its combustion in tho body. Says tho Moston Medical and Surgical Journal, "The greater part of these poisons aro very oxidizable, and it is by tho vivifying inlluenco of constantly re newed supplies of oxygen in the nor mal state, that they are burned in tho blood, perhaps, also, in tho tissues, and disappear. Hut let any cause whatever diminish tho access of air to the blood, or let thoqiinntity of lueni oglobin" (that portion of tho red blood corpuscle which has such an af finity for oxygen) "diminish as in chlorosis" (green sickness) "and nine mia, and there will soon bo an nccutn lation of azotisi-d substances of tho nature of ptomaines and leuco maines." Hence tho benefit to bo obtained from whatever can excito tlie functions of tho skin, tho kidneys and tho in testines, and especially from whatever energizes respiration aud the making of good blood. "In London Society." Prom Harper's Mngnziuc. This status can bo attained by any man whatever who possesses a suit of evening clothes and a fair amount of manners. Such a one will havo no difficulty in getting an invitation to an ordinary dance in tho less fashion able circles. Onco thero he must get introduced to ono or two of tho mat rons present, who stand higli03t on tho social ladder, and, if possible, havo ugly daughters. Ho must dance or protend to dance assiduously with tho children, and take the mothers thomselves to supper. If one of tho latter gives a dance herself, or is asked for men's names by a friend, tho as pirant will not bo forgotten, and will got his name down on a "list." Ho has then morel jr to continue this pro cess as ho rises in tho world, with a properdoyotion to leaving cards, calls, etc , and in a couple of years no ball or drum will bo inaccessible to him. With women it is dillernnt. Should they ho neither last, beautiful nor rich, they will find tho steps of "high life" hard to climb. Tlioso who come under this description will havo no dilliculty. If they aro in tho first cato gory, which, in spito of certain morbid writers, is still rare in England, thoy may get taken up by somo nobleman or great personage, when thoy will bo como fashionable in a particular set, and bo invited to the "frisky matron" balls. Hut the august mothers of so ciety will look coldly on them, and thoy will pino in vain for invitations to tiio old established houses. Meautv, if accompanied by sobriety, can gain admission to any portal. If without encumbrances in tho shapo of parents who wish to "go out" too, somo enor gotic nia'ron with no daughters of a ball-going ago will run the new "belle." If thero is any ambitious papa or mainina, tho process is more uncer tain. The (air maiden having been lirst seen at a place of public enter tainment, some enterprising woman, observing a chance of making her par ties talked about, will send theatranger a card of invitation, mother and all. If sho should bo a success an event impossible to predict, for tho canon of beauty applied by society is varying inexplicable no entertainment will bo considered complote without her. ami rich and great will tumble over each oiner in ineir civiuiics 10 nor snow man or Bhow-womnn as tho case may be. Tho method by which tho rich climb tho ladder can easily bo described. In the first placo they must give a ball and secure the patronage of some lady within tho charmed circle of the grand mode, Sho will probably bo not vorv far within, perhaps the wife of a baro net or an JrUh peer. This patroness sends out the invitations with her own compliments to all persons on her i own list, and to many who aro not 1 on, but who sho thinks will come. She extolH, morning, noon, aud night tho integrity of her proteges, and the splendors of the coming entertain ment, bho lots her female friends, know that the decoration of the front I landing will cosl 700, her malo ac quaintances that 1000 will bo spent on the supper. The lirst attempt will very likely be a partial failure Few "smart'' people will appear; theguesta will sneer at the host instead of danc ing with tho daughters. Hut they will see the front landing, eat the supper, and talk about both afterward. Con sequently when, in a short time, a second bull is announced, there will bo a rush for invitations; tlm donors will receive cards from all quarters them selves, and may be considered hence forth "in society.' The process is, however, nn expensive one, nnd has to bo kept up to some extent annual ly, lest the aspirants fall from their high estate. SMUdf.lJCKS. JncanloiM Diivlcn') ItnMrtnil to by Uinl'm r"tnl(iiiiil llrlllliiuts In loot-IIult (icniH In Itmiut. Dealers in precious stones, custom house officials and detectives are all mysterious beings. They disliko to talk; but the word smuggle often sets their tongues a wagging. "I will relate an experience myself and three assistants onco had with an expert diamond smuggler some time since," said a gray-haired customs man, "and then you'll seo both how easy and difficult It is to smuggle." The story was told in a graphic manner, as follows: Three large dia mond dealers in Chicago employed a young Frenchman, who was consider ed an expert atsiuuggling toprocurofor them $412,000 ot the finest water gems. In some way the heavy purchase be en mo known to a detect! vein Paris who cabled to the olliccrs here to watch for tho smugglers. Tho purchase con sisted of 107 lino stones, and tho de tective in Paris had a "straight tip" from a shoemaker that tho French man's high heels contained the gems. Ho arrived and was politely conduct ed to a private examination room. Oil came tho boots and tho French man grew pale as a pearl. Tho hceh were sounded, and in a moment later ono thickness of leather was taken oil. Out rolled a pieco of tissue paper and fifty eight lino white stones. Tho Frenchman appeared crazy. Ha fumed, swore and almost wept. In tho other heel tho remaining gems, forty-nine in number, werofound. Tho Frenchman put on his boots, and seemingly dazed, walked away. lIewasa"cuto un." Tho "gems" wero tho finest "Parisian," worth $10 a peck, and tho real articlo was snugly encased in his big box toes. Ho paid! his shoemaker a handsomer price than the sharp detective. Those gems are in Chicago now, and tho bogus ones adorn a hundred shirt fronts in the custom lnuiso. Women! Yes, they nro tho best smugglers of all; any custom house of ficer will confirm this fact. They havo more ingenuity than men and morn in nocence wherewith to look the exam iner calmly in tho eye. How many ladies who go regularly abroad and pny their expenses by smuggling is not aud never will bo known. They ara many nevertheless. SOMH Of TIIK CUTIS DODOISS l'LAYJ-SD. Ono of tho cutest dodges overplayed on tho tariif enforcers is related of a young and pretty lady who lived, and probal y still lives in Hoston. She had gone to Merlin on a visit dining her trip abroad, and while thero saw four beautiful diamonds. Her means would just allow her to purchnsothem and pay her way home. In herdilein ma she conceived a plan. Four largo cavities wero bored into her four largest teeth, tho gems covered over and sho departed. Tho duties would have cost her $970, but sho smiled on tho ollicor who made tho examina tion and passed innocently from the wharf. Large quantities of diamonds, pearls and rubies are frequently baked in bread, sold with an understanding to the steward, who sees that they are ho dry and hard at tho end of tho voyngo that ho must give it to a'long shoreman who has a largo and hungry family. As 'longshoremen don't feed their'families on precious stones, tho bread is broken and its contents placed in a little chamois skin bag and carried to tho honest dealer in gems. When tho gems aro hidden in trunks false bottoms aro nover resorted to. Tho dodgo is too old and transparent, A regular lino of small augur-cells is made in tho sides and bottom. Theso aro filled with tho gems and a now paper inside cover pasted neatly over. Woo to tho smuggler who happens to have ono of those cells cracked open. Tho euglo eyo of tho law is always look ioe;. "Only ono professional smuggler in a hundred is over caught. Thoymako it a study, science and business. They pass right under our noses and in front of our oyes with hidden fortunes. Ac cident or information from the other sido is our only means of hauling 'cm in." So said an officer who considers himself one of the sharpest in tho eer vico. Lady examiners in tho employ of tho custom houso nro equally as cuto as tho smugglers sometimes, and nre frequently tho captors of big government hauls. Sho knows whoie in a woman's apparel is tho most lilcoly placo to find smuggled ?oods. They "aro sometimes mistaken however, as well as tho men. Not very long ago a German woman was reported to arrivo on a certain Bteam er with a fortuno in jewels on her per son. Sho came and wns duly exam ined. Tho scrutiny sho underwent was so sovero that tho lady custom houso officials apologized over and over again. Tho foreigner smiled and said that sho did not blamo them fordoingthoir duty, and supposed some malicious ficrson hnd sent the dispatch to annoy tor. Sho entered a cab and tho hat sho woro wns decked with a fortune in goins. Thoy wero covered with wax and represented a, bunch of crapes, Theso tho official ladies admired wlien thoy examined tho hat lining and cover. Tho ways and dovices for smuggling are almost us numerous as tho stars, and tho jewels brought to America without paying tribute to Undo Sum are frequently as bright.