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About The Douglas independent. (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885 | View Entire Issue (April 29, 1882)
A PITIFUL ncruRE. ! 81m a6l Uie price cf Crown Derby ware, She looked at the Royal Worcester, . Till to purchase at least a set or two Tha clerk thought he'd really induced her. She lingered long over Cloisonne, . ' She lovingly gazed at SaUuaia; In fact, all the rarest, costliest things , , Were the ones which suited her humor. ' The gleam of toe beautiful jewel-like glass Horned tothri'l her very soul, And she lost her heart entirely in A misshapen India bowl. Then she turned away with a little sigh, And murmured, "I wish I wire richer," And went to a counter, where she bought A nity-cent Japaneee pitcher I luarpers iiazar. V. NEEDLE AMD TflBEAD. ,.'"VV ulI' -i j bachelor?" inquired Honora is an old ImoLt,.;' .,A wnA . . . "Tliat'fl what ? JH me! ,U8t 80 many words," at mr, Z?"1-," ! ?ho stood on the l0' 5 rill? room, with her he1 .tied P 1D a t??t- handkerchief, and ? liair-broom in her hand, wherewith atf Mtionktfl, after a tragic fashion, as Je talked, while MiAaywoodallP. f njer as a wild , lily, sUkxI in the Jlth ftr' aSto nnder her d ber flight fiKnre wrapped in a sb400 Diaci anawi. "AndhJl. willingly 7 pnoe, cash, every Sundayt- Never at- tempted to beat raeown a J51"1! .lf WU believe it, id"r-. e dnnks only English breakfa, and he wants bis piel-nst made fl best Alder ney Wter, instead 8 good v. fnr thftothe-PPJ andhemust have ventilators to i1 fhet.wlu1dow8 and an open grate instea.0 J ba(s6:barn ing stove8; and-I fc; 11 fended, my de. rwv ' WS09" 8aid little jnnsi-.' rdtfwng in spite of -Ud he says, says he.XJ hope, Mrs. the house. i piano.' says he.Jpky the tlence with my nervous system its everlasting turn, turn!' Those .ere his words, ; my dear. So, my defar, I'd be ' grateful if yon won't mind dofng your practicing until he's out for Lis daily walk from one to three, just a regular as the clock. Miss Maywood looked piteous Tip in the landlady s face. "I will do anything to oblige y r .Pennypacker, she said earnest liave not lorgotten now very mu indebted to you. both in actual and in kindness, which money cap never repay." ' "My dear, don't say a wnd," said Mrs. Pennypacker hastiV" "You've been sick, and you've got little behindhand, ' and it's auite natural that you should be a little low-SDirite now and then. But you must not et discouraged. And you are quite welcome to stay on here until you're able tr settle up your little account." V". tVirlTs"Iywood sighed as she -tight how of ten her little advertise .ont had been inserted in the daily news- , papers without attracting the least notice from the world of patrons and pupils. There were so many "capable music teachers, willing to give lessons at mod erate prices," nowadays, and how was anyone to know how very much she ; teeded the money? ; , And as the time crept on and no pu pils came, Honora began to ask herself seriously, wnetuer sue should go out in Rome menial capacity, or stay genteelly at home and starve. -"Clothes, ma'am." Honora started from her revery as the washerwoman's stumpy little carl bansred ' herself, like A human battering ram, up inst the door, with a preposterously larK., pk"Oq luj arm. "Yes, said HoJljraii, coloring. "Put ' them down, Sally. But I I'm afraid it isn t convenient to oay yonr mother o-day." "Mother didn t say nothing 'bout the pay," said Sally, wiping her forehead. with a whisk of her feet. "I was to leave the clothes with her 'nmble duty,and she oped they d suit, but it was that danm on Monday and Tuesday as the starch wouldn't stick. And she 'opes you'll excuse all mistakes, as they U be done better next time." "I dare say they are quite right," said Hon .ra, with a little sigh, as she esy on the part of her Milesian ireas. . ' t when Sally had stumped off down --t, her flapping slippers beating a sort of tattoo as she went, Miss May wood took off the fringed towel that covered that basket of clothes, and gave a little start. "Shirts," said Honora, "and socks, and turn-over collars, No. 16, and great big pocket-hankerchiefs, like the sails of a ship, and white vests, and goodness me, what does it all mean? Mrs. Mul vey ba sent me some gentleman's ward robe through mistake. I must send the things back at once." But then Miss May wood looked down c-n the articles thoughtfully. "I never had a brother," mused Miss -Maywood, "and I can't remember my ; father, but this I am quite certain if I had either one or the other. I should thank any girl to mend their dilapidated ' wardrobes, if they looked like this. And Mrs. Mul vey can't send before night, and unfortunately I've nothing to .do, so I'll just mend this poor fellow's ciothe3, whoever he may be. A half . Btarved student of theology, doubtless, training for the Polynesian Islands; or, jerha"pnj- nowepapep reporter, or a pale clerk unue7the- skylight of some dry goods houpe. At all events he is worse off than I em, for he cannot mend his own clothes, and I can." And the suiles dimpled around Ho nora Maywood's little rosebud of a mouth, as she sat down to darn holes, Bew on tapes and insert patches. "He'll never know who did it," said : nonora to herself, "but I dare say he'll be thankful; and if one can get a chance to do a little job in this world, he ought not to grudge one's time and trouble." And as Honora stitched away, she mused sadly whether or not she ought to accept a position which offered itself of assistant matron in an orphan asylum, where the .work would be almost unen durable, and the pay next to nothing, with no Sundays or holidays, and a ; ladies' committee, consisting of three starched old maids to 'ait" -.upon her , the first Friday of every month. ; "I almost think I'd rather I Bta'rve," Honora said. "Bat dear me! starving is a serious business, when one comes to consider it face to face.".- y ! Sally Mnlvey came "back, puffing and blowing like a human whale, in about two hours. v "Mother said she sent the wrong bas ket," said she, breathlessly. "I thought it very probable, Sally," said Mis3 Maywood. " "And mother's compliments," added Sally, "and she can't undertake your things no longer, because she does a cash business, and there hain't nothing been i paid on your account since last Juno. v Honora felt herself growing scarlet. "I am very sorry, Sally," said she. "Please tell your mother I will settle .my bill as soon as I possibly can." Sally flounced ont of the room, red and indignant, like an over charged thunder-cloud, and poor little Honora, dropping her head on her hands, burst into tears. "PretW girl that very pretty indeed " remarked Mr. Broderiok, an old- bache lor, to Mrs. rennypacicer, the landlady. "Do you mean, " 'Iu,Mr. By. "l fa 1 am F mnnAV "I mean the rounff ladv boarder of ours that I see on the stairs now and? then," explained Mr. Broderick. "Nice figure big, soft eyes,' like a gazelle. I believe some one told me she was a music teacher. Is she?" "That's her profession," answered Mrs. Pennypacker. "But there ain't many pupils as wants tuition, and poor little dear, she has had a hard time of it." "Hump!" grunted Mr. Brodeiick. ".What fools women are not to have a regular profession! If I had a daughter I'd bring her np a self-supporting insti tution." And Mr. Broderick disappeared into his room, in the midst whereof stood a girl with flapping slippers, a pretentious shawl, : and a bonnet which had origi nally been manufactured for a wonio,n twice her size. "Who are yon, my good girl?" de manded Mr. Broderick. 'Please, sir, I'm Sally, the- washer woman's Sally," was the response. "And what do you want here.' "Please, sir, I've come to bring your things," Baid Sally, chattering off her lesson like a parrot. "And, please, sir, her umble duty, and hopes they'll suit. that it was that damp and muggy Mon day and Tuesday as starch wouldn't stick; and she hopes you 11 excuse mis takes, as they will be done better next time, sir." v' . "Who mended thera? ' demanded Mr. Broderick, whose hawk eyes had caught sight of the dainty needlework upon his gernnu. "Nobody mended them," said Sally. "And mother she says it's easy to see as the new gent is a bachelor.on account of the holes in his heels and toes, and Htrings off his dickeys." "I can tell you who mended 'em," said Mrs. Pennypacker, "for I see her at it, the pretty dear Miss Maywood. And says she, 'I don't know whose they are, Mrs; Pennypacker, but they need mending, and a kind action never comes amiss,' No more it does, bless her!" "Humph!" said Mr. Broderick; "Bhe is right no more it does. And she's a regular scientist at the needle, Miss Maywood. Just look at that patch, Mrs. Pennypacker! 'Euclid's Geometry' couldn't produce a straighter line or truer angles. See the toe of that stock ing! It's like' a piece of Oobelin tapestry That's the way I like to see things doner And Mr. Broderick never rested until he had been formerly introduced to Honora Maywood, and thanked her with equal formality for the good offices she had rendered him. It was a golden October evening that Uonora came downl into the kitchen where Mrs. pies for her Pennypacker was baking eccentric, boarder with the crust made of the best Alderney butter, instead oi lard. Pennypacker; "what Ida awnl thing to be an old bachelor, to b sure!" "He won't be a bachelor much longer," said Honora, laughing and col oring as she laid her .cheek on the land lady's shoulder. I ' "What do you inean?"v "He has asked me to marry him after only a fortnight's acquaintance. He says that a girl who can mend stockings as I do needs no other test,. And he says he loves me, and and " "Well?! "I almost think Ho re him!" whiepered Miss Maywood. And so the problem of Honora's soli tary life was solved, all though the mag ic influence of needle and thread. .Mount LIT rnon. During the war, wien the bloodiest battles on the Potomac were being fought, the Southern and Northern troops fraternized on this spot, and not a shot was Hied or a blow exchanged on the domain of Mount Vernon. It was neutral ground. The soldiers exchanged coffee and tobacco, and lolled amicably under the trees, then went back to shoot ing and killing each other as soon as they were off the sacred ground. The most irreverent scoffer must walk with reverence through the ancient fiame house in which so much of onr history is embalmed. Hanging in the hall is the great key of the Bastile, sent Washing ton by Lafayette, and near it is the Gen eral's field-glass, hunpr on its rack by Washingtonliimself and never disturbed. Of all the memories of Moount Yernon, mone are more interesting than those of Eleanor Unrtis poor Nelly who died at twenty-two, and was her stepfather's pet. In the room stands her harpsichord, an immense machine, just the size of a a grand piano of the present day, with two banks of keys like an organ. Beside it are some ancient blue chairs embroi dered by her dead fingers a century ago. In the ground stands her rose bush, be side which, tradition says, she received her first offer, and which the guileless and credulous of her sex are persuaded to walk around six times to bring about a similar event. One of the ingenities of the regents of Mount Vernon was to have magnificent Turkish rugs made to resemble, as far as possible, the rag car pets which were the floor covering when Martha Washington lived, and for that purpose scraps of the rag carpets were sent abroad to be simulated nearly as possible. And way np high, under the roof, is a little hip-roofed, dormer-windowed rookery, which, after the death of General Washington.his widow choose as her own room, because it was from that window only that a view could be had of the brick tomb in which the mortal re mains of the General lay. Why It Pays. A gentleman of Cincinnati, who had become wealthy through his commercial business, thus speaks his views on ad vertising: "I have east my mind's eyo hurriedly back over my experience in Cincinnati, and I have pushed business to a standing that it would have taken thirty years to reach without advertising. In truth, it is doubtfnl if I could at all attain the results I have without the aid of news papers. Certainly the great metropoli tan newspapers are the cheapest and most effective means of making your trade known to the greatest number of people. Printed circulars may reach possibly a thonsand persons whose names you know your old customers. Your an nouncement in a leading journal will reach a hundred thousand readers whom you nover heard of. New dealers com ing into the field will see your name and business, and know where to find you. The high' character of the journal in which make your announcements will materially aid you. Your standing ad vertisement is a standing notification to buyers' that you are alive and there. It is a perpetual letter of introduction. Exchange. j Somnambulism. A Philadelphia detective accused tbe father and mother of a boy who was em ployed in a dry goods store, of purloin ing $65 85, which the boy had collected and taken home with him in the even ing, and which next morning he could not find under the carpet, T7here he had placed it. The father paid the monev, but the next night, hearing a noise in his sjn's room, he went in and found the boy with a roll of bills in his hand, which proved to be the exact amount of the stolen money. The boy wasfa som nambulist, and perhaps, while dreaming of the concealed treasure, had risen from his bed, descended to the dining room, and removing the money from be neath the carpet, carried it upstairs and placed it beneath tbe matting of his bed room. ' i . Ihe Bank of England. In his notes on his recent English tour Howard Carroll, the New York journal ist, says: Thanks, too, to one f these same policemen, we may cross safely through the mass of whirling and rum bling and rattling carriages from the Eoval Exchange, and the "merchant's walk's," and the house of "Loyds" to "the old lady in Threadneedle street," bo called by her London children, and known to other people as the Bank of England. Until some other corporation ean boast a capital greater than 14, 550,000 perhaps they may be permitted to call it as they do now, "the richest old ladyin the world." The bank is a long, low structure, which covers eight acres of ground, and in which there are em ployed a thousand persons, managers, clerks, messengers and porters, whose combined aaiaries amount to about 225,000 a year. It is a private corpora tion or business, not a department of the government, as many people ' sup- Eose. It has existed for nearly 200 years, aving been founded in 1691 by , a Bhrewd Scotchman named Will iam Patterson. As now arranged the business of the concern is managed by a governor, a deputy governor, and a board of directors consisting of twenty four members. Of these eight go out of office annually, but they may be and generally are re-elected term after term. It is stipulated that the governor must be a proprietor of the bank stock to the amount of 4000, and that the deputy governor and directors shall own stock to the value of 3000 and 2000 respect ively. 1 So well is the bank managed that the dividend upon the stock is seldom less than seven per cent., a high rate in England. One share of the par value of 100 can usnally find ready sale for 200 Aside from its privilege of issuing notes payable on demand crisp, fresh, beau tiful notes they are, and good in all parts of the world the Bank of England has from the government the additional ad vantage of being allowed to manage the national debt. To secure the note issue, as may be stated by the way, there never is loss than 15,000,000, and sometimes as high as 25,000,000, in gold bars and silver, besides other securities, in the the vault of the bank. Every bar of the gold weighs sixteen pounds and is worth about 800. . To protect this militia is employed. For the manage ment of the national debt, which now amounts to 800,000,000, the bank re ceives 200,000 a year, comparatively small commission when it is remembered that out of it must be paid the expenses of keeping the many accounts connected with the colossal debt, the paying of dividends to its holders, the collection of the income tax levied upon it, and the transfer of stock. And all this vast business, in addition to the other affairs of the bank, is con ducted with so much system and care that losses or error are almost nnknown. In the paying office, the telling room and the rotunda, millions upon millions are handlad every day, great heaps of gold are shoveled about as though it was as much sand, and piles upon piles of bank notes are counted and sorted about with the rapidity of the wind. Yet so well trained are the clerks, and so deli cate the weighing machinery that a light coin or a false note is never passed into the bank. That nothing is stolen from it is due in great measure to the vigi lance and fidelity of those quiet-looking beadles who all day long sit so silently at the doors. As we pass out they are sleepy and listless apparently as when we went in, but let a suspicious charac ter or a professional thief enter.and their oyes will never leave him until he is in the street again. In short, it is no ex aggeration to say that the Bank of Eng land is the most carefully watched and guarded institution in the world. Borrowers. What pests they are! Nothing is sacred in their covetous eyes; they have not a particle of regard for the rights of property. They borrow everything. With a grocery store on nearly every corner and a green grocer's in nearly every square, with "notion shops" ac cessible everywhere, those chronic bor rowers are continually sending in to their neighbors on right and on left for "a spoonful of lard," a "cup of flour," a "little yeast," a "piece of tape," a "spool of cotton," a "No. 6 needle," and so on through a very curious and long cata logue. These . same people and many others beside, make a regular practice of borrowing your newspaper, generally with the polite but meaningless qualifi cation that "they would like to look at it for a few minutes, if you have done with it." Of course they get it, whether you have read it or not. And if it is returned in good condition you are ex ceptionally lucky, v Your pet magazine, too, which you intend to have bound some day, and desire to keep spotlessly clean, is also iu demand, and yon are considered "just as mean as mean can be" if you refuse to trust it in other hands than those of your bonsehold. But yon must learn to say "No" to these gentry, if you would protect yonr own rights; nothing but decided snubbing can rid you of the nuisances. k Long-Lived Family. A Pensacola, Florida, correspondent of the Louisville Courier-Journal alleges that Kobert A. Wright, of Santa Kose county, Florida, is seventy-one years of age, but in appearance, speech and ac tion he would pass anywhere for a well preserved man of less than fifty. He is able to, and does, more and better work than at any period of his life. He has not lost a day from labor for thirteen months. He is the father of five chil dren, of whom his sons Burrell, Amos and Akbab, are triplets, all now living and fifty two years of age. He is the son of John Wright, who is now living in Canada, and is one hundred and sixteen years of age; is the nephew of the late Davis Eaton, who lived and died in Giles county, Virginia, at the advanced age of (as near as it could be computed) one hundred and thirty-eight years, and who has been one hundred and two years a member of the Masonic order. Differing from the conventional young old man, he eats heartily at all times; formerly he was an inveterate consumer of coffee and tobacco, but has eschewed both for the past five years. Capture op a Herring Kino. A very rare and highly interesting catch was made the other day on the Norwegian coast a so called "herring king." The herring king ("regalecus") belongs to the family of ribbon fishes so-called, and has hitherto been found in three differ ent forms, always of remarkable size, nearly six metres long, thirty-seven cen timetres wide, and of ribbon-like thin ness. The animal lives at a considerable depth, whence it is easily explained that it rarely comes to the surface or is thrown on the besfch. Very few zoological collections may boast of possessing a specimen ; none has a well-preserved one, the different part1) of this remark able fish being so tender and brittle as to break even at the meie touch of tha hand. The specimen above alluded to was most carefully transported to Stanan ger, and is without doubt the best pre served one extant. ; It is a female, meas uring four metres i in length, thirty-four, centimetres in width and eight centi metres at its, thickest pari; the ovaria are ninetyfour centmetres long and filled with millions of eggs of the size of a grain of sand. The Stavanger museum ordered a tin box made to keep it in, re quiring forty litres of alcohol for the purpose of proper preservation. Paris American Register A Si at hern Romance. Five years ago, a maiden fair, whose home was at a little town near Macon, Georgia, anxiously awaited an important letter from her absent lover: The sigh ing lass haunted the postoffice, but the postmaster's face always wore that look of exasperating quietude common to those from whom expected things never come. The maiden thought her heart would break, for she realized at last that her lover was faithless. The scene shifts. It is September, 1881. In Macon dwells the same lady, but she is now a happy wife with two children. She has forgotten the faithless one of her days of woe. She, therefore, is surprised when from the town of her youth comes a letter bearing as a superscription to her maiden name that derived from her husband. An accompany note from the postmaster explains that in tearing away some of the boards of a letter case the missive was found. The envelope was postmarked 1875." The lady spanks the baby to keep it quiet, while she eagerly devours the contents. Heavens! It is from John, who proposes in glowing words, and begs lor a kind reply. The lady s husband also enjoys the letter, and, ont of curiosity, communicates with rela tives of the former lover. It is learned that he is a happy Chicago pork-packer, with a wife and three- sons. She Preferred a Carnage. "Aw, my dear," said a young man of sesthetio mien and close fitting garments to a pretty young lady who leaned con fidingly on his arm, as she stepped from a train at the Grand Central Depot last evening, "isn't this nice?" pointing to the Fourth avenue cars standing inside the depot, "to have the caws running in undah the shed. Do you mind that in Hawtford we had to go out into the muddy road to get on the caws?" "Oh, yes," was the. response, "it is very nice to have the cars come in here, but do you know, my dear," she said, giving his arm an extra squeeze, "that I like to ride in a carriage much better than in those horrid cars? I am always afraid of catching some horrid disease." "Aw, my dear," he said, hesitating, "I wonder where we can get a carriage heah?" "Cab?" . "Cab?" "Carriage?" "Cab?" "Coupe?" "Carriage?" "Cab?" "Cab?" "Want a cab?" "Cab?" "Carriage?" was the next sound that greeted their ears. "Right out here, my dear," said the lady, half pulling the incredulous young man toward the front of the depot. The young' couple went off in a cab, the young lady beaming with j smiles. f N. Y. Herald. Mistakes Kindness. Every one who has heard the story of that down-East woman who, when en tertaining her pastor at tea, poured so much molasses into his enp (she conld not afford the luxury of sugar) that he remonstrated, whereon Bhe assured him that if it were "all molasses it would not be a bit too good for him." Through the very kindness of her heart she erred. There are a great many people like this worthy womon. They will not allow their guests to cry "enough." Their habit of 'heaping" food and giving a little and considerable more than is asked for, has nothing to be said in its favor, and a great deal against it. Un less one has a firm, strong appetite that only Jan earthquake or a tempest could affect, a large quantity of food is appall ing. It is much pleasanter to send one's plate to have it replenished, than to be obliged to leave food upon the plate. In order to clear the plate one is prone to over-eat, from the idea of "saving the food." Economy does not signify a lack of plentifnlness or stinginess. It means enough for each and all, and nothing is wasted, and when food is served in over abundance, waste must be the result, unless, indeed, the surplus is gathered together again the simple idea of which is disgusting. Moreover, it is a comfort to get just what one asks for if "half a cup of tea," that much and no more. - How Jumbo Came Into Ills Cage. Lile master like man is exemplified in the caso of Mr. Barnum and his agent at the Zoo, the latter proving himself un commonly smart by the manner in which he solved the problem of making J umbo enter his traveling cage contrary to his determination. "I suppose you get a lot of money in tips when Jumbo comes out?" was the question asked, with great apparent innocence, of Scott, the keeper. "Oh, yes, as much sometimes as five pounds a day!" "You would not like him to be kept in seclusion all day to morrow, eh?" "No, indeed." "Then, Mr. Scott, if he goes out it must -be through the conveyance we have pre pared for him." The next day Jnmbo walked through the cage without objec tion. Smart that, I .guess, and worthy of Barnum himself. A Bequest Tha Came a Dat Too Late. The Troy Press Wednesday gaver the particulars of the death of Herbert Thayer, a brakeman who was killed hear Fort Edward by the cars. It now ap pears that the unfortunate had a brother residing in the West. The parents and grandfather of these yonn? men died, bequeathing about $14,000 to be equally divided between them. Herbert had been notified of the bequest, and ex pected to come in possession of the lit tle fortune the daj of his tragic death, 1 and was on his way to that city for that purpose. A short time prior to his death he made known to his fellow-em ployes the legacy that had fallen to him, at the same time adding in a cheerful way that this was his last trip. Scarcely had an hour passed before Herbert Thayer was a corpse, and when his re mains arrived in that city there was a letter at the postoffice transferring to him $7000. The Highest Bridge ik the Wohm. A remarkable bridge is now in course of construction over Kinzina . creek, near Bradford, Pa., on the line of the New York, Lake Erie and Western Railway. The structure has a total length of 2051 feet from abutment to abutment, and the height of the rail above the bed of the creek is 301 feet. It consists of one span sixty-two feet long, twenty spans sixty one feet each, and twenty spans thirty eight feet six inches each. . The bridge will be, it is said, the highest railroad bridge in the world. It is sixty feot higher than Niagara suspension bridge, and 170 feet higher than the great bridge across the Ohio at Cincinnati. A Blind Man's Queer Mistake. The Americus, Ga., Recorder says a blind negro wood sawyer has been a walking wonder to ns since we came here. He can wa'k the sidewalk as straight as any body, and even follow the slightest de viation in the walk; can tell you at any time on what street he is on and whose residen ;e he is passing, and what time of day it is. But one night be got sold bully, as at 2 o'clock in the morning he was found sawiug wood for J. L. Price. When aked what he was doing there at that hour, he answered that he supposed it was about supier time. Mr. Price heard him sawing, but supposed it was some cats in the yard. Experiments made to test the mus cular power of insects prove that the smaller the insect the greater tbe pro portionate muscular power. A bee is for its .weight thirty times stronger than a horse, for a bee harnessed to a wagon can pull twenty times its own weight. SHORT BITS. California's wine crop is short. - Even Easter cards are esthetic. Barnum has captured New York. Florida has shipped all her oranges.' De L asups is building a splendid cemetery. i; -v ' ! .-- Panier effects are' taking a decided place among spring styles. , The speech from! the thrown don't bit a fellow when he's down. , The less we parade our misfortunes the more sympathy we command. A promising young man One who is engaged to half a dozen girls. The young lady who banged her hair at a looking ghv ts did not break the glass. .... The man who is forever airing his knowledge is never at loss for wind power. A lady says that it takes many men a whole lifetime to ijearn t i carry a $10 bill home without breaking it. A justice of the peace fined a man twenty shillings for beating another be cause it was the value of a pound. Buckwheat given to hens makes the yolk of-tbeir eggs) a very light yellow. More corn will increase the color. Bronson Alcott says: "The blonde type is nearest to the divine likeness." Very few newspapers use the blonde type. The Dallas Times thinks the German newspapers would be more popular if they were not published in a foreign lan guage. The late Prof. Ko was a great admirer of horse cars. But then the Chinese are always different from any other folks, yon know. A man with a felon on his hand is en titled to sympathy. How much more the keeper of the State Prison,who has a great many. An appropriation is to be made by the Queensland government to institute a search for potable water on the artesian principle. Tbe Duke of Wellington's saying con nected with early rising was not a bad one: "Let the first turn in the morning be a turn out." Researches among the rock forma tions of Western America show that it is to the New World we must look for a perfect pedigree of the horse. It has been disooTered that the Con gressional Library does not contain a single work on temperaace, and the mys tery is: What Congressman brought the fact to light by inquiring for one? I Henry Henkle, a Rochester inventor, is engaged in a project to generate elec tricity on an immense scale, and trans mit the electric current to any point de sired for illuminating and other pur poses. Skip this paragraph. It is really unfit for publication, got into this column by mistake, and was happily discovered in time to be turned on the press: pvaq Jq uo paaiso) pvq aq JI jtoqeauM f ) ;aj p,iq aa laj paj(v Ml uimmI iqx -SutqvntJ oi rju80 aat iZtm U.3M jtoa Moqj v jo pun ia3( aqt tw qj n Miqiaa jnoi pag ;,eq aq noi ng Moaj oi jou iq8no eq Saiqiaoao , j usuiom 83Xioj 2aq)u t.ajsqi JI "There's too much horse-racing at onr agricultural fairs," remarked Parson Jones to the secretary oi the county society. "I should like to know, sir, what horse-racing has to do with agri culture?" "Well, Parson," replied the secretary, with a pleasant smile, "noth ing, perhaps; or, at least no more than church lotteries have to do with spread ing the gospel." Parson Jones saw the point, and changed tbe conversation im mediately. Dr. Amat says that sea bathing "has proved of great benefit in many cases of disease of the eye. The improvement appears to be due to two causes: 1. The influence which such a course has on the general health by curing anaemia and elevating the tone of the system, since sea bathing is in the highest degree restorative. 2. Sea water and occasion ally, also, the atmosphere of the sea has a local irritant action, which should be watched, since it is most serviceable when there is a chronic, torpid and in dolent inflammation, while it is exceed ingly dangerous when the inflammation it of the acute kind. Great Little Men Upon examining the biography of the greatest pro-e-writers of ancient and modern times, we find many of them haw been little men. One of the great poets of Athens was so small that his friends fastened lead to his sandals to prevent his being toppled over or blown away. And Pope was so small and crooked as to be compared to an interrogation point. Abbe Galiani was the prettiest little harlequin that Italy ever produced; but upon the shoulders of that harlequin was the head of Machiavelli. Moore, the Irish poet, was so small that George IV. once threatened to elap him into a wine cooler. The Ladles' Emporium. . ; Mrs. M. A. Winnie, manager of the Ladies' Emporium and Lace House, 167 Third street, Portland, is in receipt of a full line of Hamburg and Tortiau edg ings and insertions, as well as many hoy elties in neck wear. This old established house always keeps in the lead, and ladies in search of beautiful and reliable goods can always be pleased and satisfied by visiting the Emporium. OREGON TO MAMACUVInTI, Some time go Hernm. Hodge, Dvii k Co., of thil city. read-Tin Huuchuip)U paper that Hon. Charles B. Ladd, andltor of that atate, was afflicted with an incurable kidney disease, and bad been obliged to give up work and retnrn to bis home. They immediately sent him a box of their celebrated Oregon Kidney Tea. and from time to time sent him other boxes. A few days ago they receired from him the billowing letter: Commonwealth or Massachusetts, ' I -Auditor's Dep't, Boston, Not. 11, 1881. ( Messrs. Hodge. Davis ft Oo.: Dear Sirs t bare no hesitation in saying that I have been much benefited by tbe use of tbe Oregon Kidney Tea as a remedy for a kidney difficulty wliicn has troubled me for six or eight years. I can heartily recommend it to thoae who are similarly afflicted, as a safe and agreeable remedy. I shall test its vtrtues further, for I have great faith in it as a specific for many diseases of the kidneys. Respectfully yours. CHAS. B. LADD. The original of this letter can be seen by calling r a Messrs. Hodge, Davis It Co., Portland, Oregon, and the Oregon Kidney Tea can be boaght of any druggist or dealer, in Oregon or Washington. Price 1 per box. - , , . Musical ! The largest stock of sheet music and musical instruments north of 8a n Francisco can be found at Simon Harris', Portland, Ore gon. Catalogues mailed rnr.x. Send name and address to Cragin & Co., Philadelphia, Pa., for cook book, free. Or. Henley's celebrated California IX L Bit ters always relieve Dyspepsia and Indigestion. The galaxy of siarsat the Elite theater in Port land, is drawing crowded houses nightly. Re member the popular price., 25 and 50 cents to any part of the house. All sensible people suffering with rheumatism use Plunder's Oregon Blood Purifier. Sold at $1.00 bottle. Who follow not virtue in youth can not fully enjoy old age. Turkish Rco.Send to Jobn B. Garrison 137 Third street Portland, for catalogues ot de signs.' Tho Gold Medal gallery of Portland, Owntd by F. G. Abel;, Portland, U alvays bringing out novelties in tho photographic line. : His country patrons are always pleased with their treatment as well as the work obtained. . Send $1 .00 to W. D, Palmer, Portland, for j one year's subscription to the Pacific Overseer, the great semi-monthly A. O. U. W. paper. Sreet Mcsic: Larctwt stock on the northwest coast, orders filled promptly. Send stamp for cat alogue and journal, V iley B. Allen 153 Third street, Portland. For that headache I Try the Oregon Blood Purifier, the vegetable remedy, it's the care. , Garrison repairs all kinds of sewing machines Porta Dmu fluitorf! MORVEYOR. W. H. 11AYKE fc It. TII.L.Y BlSOWSrfi; Civil Engineers, Contractors and surveyors. Offirv 29 Htark s reet. Union Block, Port and, Or., with Ferry A White, Real KsUte Agents. Surveying done In any part of Oreg'n or Washington. EM PrKli'BAKKtfYirw-aslUiiKton. ' Vow A Fuhr, Props. Manufacturers of Pilot bread, crack em, etc. Pork and beans and Bostou brown bread every Kunday morning. ABt)ATXf. J. B. MelftTOSH.-Cor. Front and Hmrk. Chem ical analysis made of coal, mineral waters, etc. Or dinary assays of gold, silver, lend or vopper, from 3to5. Dr. P. liarvey. ConsultiiurCtiemtKt. ATTOBSETST D. P. KESKKUY,--Attorney and Counselor at Law Room S Ueavnu's building. Legal business pertaining to Letters Patent for inventions, before the Patent Office or in the Courts, a specialty. EYE & EAR INFIRMARY AND " ' '"' I SANITARIUM, OR HOME FOR THE SICK. Macadam Bond bet. Porter and Wood Sta., ttoatb. Portland, Or. Dr. Pllktngton, late Professor of Eye A Ear Diseases In the Medical Department of Willamette University has erected a tine building, on a beautiful elevation in the south part of tbe city and Is prepared to accomo date patients Buffering from all diseases of th KYE, KA It or THROAT. Also will pay special attention to persons laboring under Chronic Nervous affections, and to diseases peculiar to women, and recieve a Unit led number of cases expecting confinement. Tbe intention is to provide a Hoiae for such rases with all the best hygienic agencies, combined with the best medical skill to be had in the metropolis. : Consulting physician and surgeon Dr. Philip Harvey, Prof, of diseases of women and children in the medical department Willamette Uidversity. i Also Dr. J. M. F. Browne, Prof, of Physiology med dep't. Willamette University. - For any amount of references and circular, address UR. J. a PILKIV6TOX, ' Cor. 1st and Washington Wt., Portlimd. Or, BUCKINGHAM & HECHT'S S3 ! BOOTS AND SHOES Are the BEST and COST ISO MORE than Other Brands, and lf the Merchant with whom yon Trade does not keep our Goods It Is becanse it PATS better to sell a pair of Boots or Shoes every TWO Months than every FOUR or FIVE. WJ1 WARRANT EVERY PAIR We make. All Merchants In Good Credit ean procure these Goods at our Ware houses in PORTLAND or San Francisco. TRY OUR "HERCULES BOOTS V.I HECHT BROS. & CO. A GRAND REVOLUTION In the Boot and Shoe business. AT THE MYorkBootaiSMoise HO. &0S FIRST STREET. Eavlug enlarged mys'oreand Just received a large . Invoice of Ladles', Uents' and Children's FINE BOOTS AND SHOES. From the largest and best Eastern Houses. The public can rely upon getting a finer article than ever before offered in Portland and at UWK PRICKS. - Call and see for Yourself and be coainced H. GAliLiICK, New York Boot and Saoe Hobos, No. 1SS Fin Street. PACIFIC COAST Land Bureau, A CORPORATION. . PreMdent WENDELL E ASTON Vice Pre, and Gen. Manager GEO. W. FRINK Treasurer......... ANGlO-CaMFORnUN BANK Secretary........ .. f. B. WILDE Hoard of Direct oi a. J. O ELD R I Lib K, lx.R4.NT 1. TAGGART. G. W. KKINK. I F, d. WILDS, i WENDELL JlAHrON. Prluclal Place of Bnlns. 22 Montgomery Street, San Francisco. dab-Agencies a ech county seat ot the fitate. Ag-cnc) lor stale and l.xchtnit of Kskrin Ing land. A. -rax tracts ibdlsldrtl and sil at auction or private sale. 49CoIoDiU and Immigrants located. Careful appraisements made tor Bank. Courts. Adminis trators, Trustees, e'c. Legal forms otmp!ie4 with. Full records of sales in each county on file at the General Office. Assume entire charge of property, pay taxes, insurance etc. etc. MO.KY TO lOAfl! SPORTSMEN'S EMPORIUM. WH. BECK fc SON. Importers and dealers In Guns, Rifles, and Revolvers Keels, ;,S; Floats, Lines, Flies, Leaders, Hooks oi all kinds. PISHI1TG I Braided and Tapered Oil HUk Lines. Six Spliced Split Bamboo Rods, 165 and 16T gtceowd at., Portland, Or. V) o c CO CO o- (A o .1879. m&oniiRi CD 3 CD o. MAKE USE OF THIS VEGETABLE KINGDOM A STBK REMEDY FOR BL000 and LIVER COMPLAINT ' For sle everywhere-Jl 00. 15ULLDE11S' AND GENERAL HARDWARE, Carpenters Tools, Axes, Sledges, Wedges, Bird Cages, Wood and Willowware etc., etc AT THE LOWEST RATES, AT F. It. CHOWN'S HARDWARE HOUSE, 243 FIRST ST., LND PLtSrER, IS ANY QUANTITY, BY verding fe Farrell FRONT & ALPER BTS., PORTLAND. SALVREEN. JL JKeaajr Belief aad Pala Kxtraetar wblea Erery Faartly sa td Hwit Wand. - It cures Porns, Bunions. Burns. Brnses. BoDs, Felons, Old sores. Rheumatic paius, More eyes, fSore throat. Sprains, fleers. Tooth ache, Hide ache, Worts, Salt rheum, Rtnginonn, ete. Removes intiammatioa In stantly PneeKcta For sale by all Druggists or sent on rerelpt of prie by the Household Mupply Co. ot Jutland, Oregon,. . . v tsi.-., Uel THOMPSON, B8HAHT k GO. Iron & Steel MERCHANTS AND DEALERS UT Shelf and Heary Hardware, BLACKSMITHS' TOOLS, Farmers' and Mechanics' Supplies, WAGON AND CARRIAGE WOOD STOCK, CARRIAGE' ''"VteS&m TRIMMINGS Files, Twist Drills, Hammers, Slcdgre s, . Tongs, Stocks and Dies, Norrraj And Refined Iron, Horse Shoes and Nails, Cumberland Coal, CHAIXS, COBQ1SE OF ALL KIXDS. Blocks, Oaknm, Oars, Capstansetc BOLTS, RIVETS, SPIKES nails. OUR STOCK OF .... - 1 is the - - ."- LARGEST AND BEST ASSORTED ON THE COAST. 14 First St., 193 and ITS Front St., corner Yamhill, Portland, Oresjoa. ALAOE 0 p I '1 ''-SSL; 4 Warranted First Class- 83 UPWARD. SIMON HARRIS. SOLE AOftNT. 48 First sr., Portland, Or. CataJogacn mailed Pre. 1850. 32 Years Practical Experience. 1882. John A. Child DRUGGIST, i T eater in I Fine Chemicals,' Perfumery, Toilet Articles, ; Sponges, Soaps, & Rubber Loods. Cor. Morrison ft 2d st Portland, Or. 8peclal attention pa.d to orders by mall when acoom rtsnlrdvitb the cash. This imt Atrensrta. mine Remedy aasl -Verve TOXIC ts the le gitimate result of over U vears of nrartfral exueri- -nce. and CCRKS WITH UNFAILING CERTAIN TY Nervous and Physical Debility, Seminal Weak" n e r s , Spermatorrhoea KniissimtH.Inipoteiirv Ex i.u....... tri..i. n.. til re Decline and lAMtH OF MAX HOOD, from whatever cause produced. It enrirheiis and purities toe Uioou. hirentiihenH Rerves, urain. Muscles Mental Faculties. It stops a ly unnatural debilitating drain upon Ihe system, preventing iuvolimtary losses debilitating dreams, seminal losses with the urine, etc., so destructive to miini and body. It is a sure eliminator of all KIDNEY AND W.ADDKR COM PLAINTS. IT CONTAINS NO INJURIOUS IN UREDIENT. To those suffering from the erects of youthful IndlarreUunaor excesses, a peelv, thorousrh and Dernwiuelit ( l lli: IS J ITA K A-NTKKD. I'rlce. &0 per bottle, or five bottles i& case with full directions and advice. 10. Kent fc cure from observation to any addrecs uion receipt ot price, or C. O. D. To be had on I v of Ir. I. Nalflvld, 816 Kearny street, San Francisco, Cal. Consultstioiisairii-tly coiittiieiitlat. by letter or lit oflice, FHEK. For t he con veulence oi patients, and in order to secure perfect secrecy, 1 have adopted a private address, under which all package are forwarded. TBI A I. BOTTLE FREE. Hutncient to show its merit, will be s -i t to any one applying by latter, statin h's syinptuins and age, Communications strictly confidential. ft EST A U BAST THE BFJtTIX THE COT AH Modern Improvements. Open all day. J. IT. BHEXWBB. Proprietor STURGES, LARSEN &CQ., tJITPJ?nVO AND COMMISSION MERCHANTS, Wholesale Dealers In Te-f, Canned Uoods, Syrups, Honey, Dried Fruits, Provisions, etc, etc Shippers of Chrata, Floar, Wool, and Country Prod Bee. Consignments solicited and Uberai Advance made when desired. . B4. FROKT STF.ET. PORTLAND. OR. HUBS aa a s s f - Vf W 3 'an T"iKr"mr aVa.1. ENfiEAVEK, SS FIKST ST. rOKTLda-NB. OS. WILLIAM COLLIER, MACHINIST, Dealer la Sew and SEC0SD HAXI) MACIIINERYi S Madia I Hi., Portland. Or. 1 Parties desiring Bollrrs. Eas;lnes ar SAW HILIi MACiMXKKY ean seeure by addressing Air. Volller. New and Second Hand Machinerj nought aad sold or traded to advantage. MEN AND WOMEN, Boys and irtrls, anyone who wants liM, pteasaat em ployment in which from (:t to 10 per day can be mace will send their name and postefnee adiiresRto lis im mediately, and receiv? our dencrlptive circulars. Ad dress. Is. II. Oetohelt Jk fit,, So. 187 Front street, Portland, Oregon. W Sure Cure forCalarf LIQUID OR DRY, PRICE Tl 00; - ATMOSPHERIC Insufflators," price 5oc Dry Cure and Insuffla tors mailed on receipt of price, with full direction for ornate S. O. 8KIDMORE A Co., DTngtrtts 1S1 First street. Portland. Oi. Hole Air en Li for the N. Facile Coast. marnl THE "WHITE." WE HAVE THIS DAY SOLD our entire interest in. and transferred the airency of the White Hewing Machine to Mr. John B. Oarrl son, of 167 Third sir et. Portland, Or. Mr. (iarrison will hereafter supply the Krowtfe demand tar this superior and popular sewing machine. aplS HIM. & RARR. Ik I'M- raifflCaiTia t o' - f,T AND & IHRCJaLFIFI lYnft vr - AfM i u a "---TnTrTta t "--""ir-'-T-f m mii tr lfAltl: Vi I PERMIAN BITTERS J , . .. -, 1 . ; "i-g ;;W--T - 3 j if - " - t . U ' i ! "l ! 1 I ' ', : ni, 1 ; r - i -f (t'UMCHOXA JtL'llUA.) Tbe Finest BITTKKt is tbe WOR THEY EFFECTCAI.IY Ct'BK MAXiARIAI DISEASES, Vitalise the System and arrest the ravage tbe Drendful Aleohol Habit, llirsO.UA.1A Ask Tyour Druggist or Wine Merchant for thru. WII.MERDI.NO fe CO., Agents, Saa Fran cisco. W. 4. VAJi8Clll"l'VFR ctr CO.. Portland. I M flR.H f Ssi??': kill faj nasTs a? ef. v -. -At IH ftfiril ;-r- (IktlUIUlUI Recommended bv all Physicians. Read tbe Certificates back tf Bottle. A sure cure fcr li ditet nn Mas of Appetite, and tbe Best Liver Begnlattr koowu. MOI.O ONLY IN GLASS. To fill or ee-1 any but the Rouuine srticle out of oar bottle is (e:oiy. and when detected, will be prosecuted to tbe fall r stent of the Isw. Trade supplied by AK.tl MAK4KZIUV at Co. 539 Washington St., Satn Fraaelaeo,- C' SEWING MACHINE STORE, 16 Thirl street. Portland JOHN B. GARRISON, Proprietor, !; &KNT IMF. TUB White, Improved Singer, Crown, Howe. New Home, Davis, Wilson, 4D" Howe, Royal 44. JUKUp And General Agent far Oreiron aad Washington Territory for tbe Household Sewing Machine. Dealer in all kinds of Seeing ilacbiue Attach meats Neville tii. Ktc. 3.3cwlTiit Mar.siutH repaired no liort notice. Ct Ink. 1i JliW-raJlill For Consumption, Asthmn,IlroiFhitla ' Catarrh, Iviepiin. Headache Jebil Itjr, Neuralsia, KlieumaliMm, and all Chronic mid Nmous ItiMordersu Park ases may be coiitcnlcnlljr neat by 3t prtMM ready for immediate im at house. Mend for fife treatise on the Oxygen treatment. Addreas the proprietors, 1109, 1111 ii trd Street, JPhila., Pa or H. . MATH KM S Paeifle Depoaitory, 06 Montgomery Nt, Man Frauclaco. ttl. HUDSON'S GUH ST0I1E, ' tW Plrrt street. Portland, Or anna. ITXa, PISTOL AK1 AMMCXITIOX Ttaslna; Tavealo of ltwit Ies itut1ao. ARK YOU GOING to PAINT TIIKX tsETHE Averill Mixed Paint. The Best Most Durable, Most Iteantiful anfl the Cheapest. IT IS PKEPA RKI) IN l.luVl It FORM AMD HOLD by the eallon only, in any desired qnantttv BEAPY FOK TI1F. BHUSII. requiring no further addition of oil or spirits. It is of Pure White and of nny ntiaile or onlnr. Ham pie card colorsaiid Price I.lurt mailed on spnitcation to " . Si. OBKM'K, MtSFrsl Ap-at, yo. tot Market Kt., opn. Front, ban- Francisco, fal. "Also, SOUS AGtEJfT for the Celt braled Ran Vrau dsco HUHHKH MIXED PAINT, And Dealer In PAIXT", OILS. VAKNISHFS and PAI!fTF.R- MATEKIAI. For sale byf . BKA( II A XJ Port load. On 1882 SPRING 1882 V !!; MRS. ;' Q. H. CLARKE, Fourth and Columbia sts.. Port lac d, Or., Would announce to the ladies or this couatj that he has received her SPRING STOCK '.. OF . Mil iLI Ti ER Y. ORDERS GIVEN PRCMPT ATTENTION. Plants, Trees, Etc. f LIU8TBATKDCATAIXXiUE pree L i. K.TarjisBULLfcro. 419 and 4S1 Sansome street, Ban Fra icuco. 01,000 BEWAIID POR ANYOSE WHO WUA, t.V.MIX '--- . MetSaax fe JIHmo mlrm of I -,-vs -' and ( took 4 uttiair, and, w -t h atorr.-i i u-- ore and perfect ettttli. proOoiN. a h.j f t;,. r wrmmx. Heveral linprovements lav Ih-rb made. Agents to fw'll a.id ' u- , ' n evert town, tift-xi mhik. fn .'.!..,. . fit) topper day. Ki.U'i;i, v. j . t. , " prfrvss I j'e' 1 r