' A SOCIAL TANGLE.
Tha Results of an Attempt to Solva
the Complex Problem.
"Wanted, three competent men
to fill vacancies . on the editorial
ataff of the Daily Doleful."
The sad circumstances which.
tailed forth the above advertise-1
tnent are as follows: t
In yesterday's editorial column
appeared a notice that a man named
Shore had married his stepdaughter
by his (Shore's) deceased wife's for
mer marriage.
The society editor very, thought:
lesslv asked:,
"What relation would the chil
dren Ty this marriage and their chil
dren hold to the parents?"
The whole staff attempted to
Bolve the problem, with terrible re
sults. "In the first place," said the so
ciety editor, "the children would be
their father's and mother's second
cousins. and-their grandfather would
Jio tVioir rrrnniluncie bv their father's
side, while their grandmother would
be their grandaunt and also step
mother -as well as their father's
wife; hence they'd be their own
children. Gracious! Twice nothing
is nothing and two to carry." And
then he tried to stab himself with a
paper knife.
The night editor said:"
A3 ne maincu ins kuc.d ua.u"
ter, the mother is sister to her own
children, and her husband must be
their brother-in-law, and if he's
their brother-in-law, being also a
cousin to his wife, her children are
his second cousins and must be
cousin to her husband, so he's his
own cousin.
"His own cousin, he must have
also been his cousins and his uncles
and his aunts, and so did his cousins
and his uncles and his aunts, and so
did his cousins and his
And here it became necessary to
fasten the night editor in his chair,
where he sits wildly repeating, "And
BO did his uncles and his cousins and
his aunts," a hopeless idiot.
Then the editor in chief attacked
it, and in two minutes he made the
children their own mothers-in-law,
and one of them, he declared, was
her own grandmother, after which
lie was delivered up to the police for
Bafe keeping.
The problem was taken up by the
"comps," and in half an hour every
man was sitting with staring eyes,
fimirincr with his" finger on the back
of his hand and vowing Shore had
nio; Viio rrrent-CTTflTirlmOther witn
out a license, while an errand boy
jumped out of the window, under
the impression that ne was ms own
1 m i -rJ
- ancestor. L,onaon xix-mis.
He Worked In Sardou.
It mav not be generally known
that M. Sardou, the famous drama
tist, once figured in a photograph
as a member of the chamber of dep
uties. It happened in this way: A
pertain nhotoirranher was very anx
ious to produce the portraits of the
3G3 deputies constituting the Ee-
publican majority in the chamber of
1S77, which defeated the endeavor
to overthrow the republic. lie ob
tained the likeness of all of them
except a certain Rouge, who was
shv and refused to sit. The pho
tographer in despair asked the ad
vice of Gambctta. "Nothing is sim
pler." Ganibetta said. "You have
Sardou's portrait? Then use that,
lie and Rouge are as much alike as
two pons. No one will ever know
the difference." The advice was
taken, and M. Sardou figured all
unwitting! v in the number of the
red Republicans.
A PRESENT CRAZE, v
An Interesting Way to Earn One's
Daily Bread.
Of all the fads which the American
girl has taken up within the last few
r-r SCHOOL HYGIENE. - 1
Why You Should Teach Your Children
Jiu Jitsu.
One of the most Interesting subjects
brought up for discussion at the recent
International congress ou "j
years that of bookbinding tt tne m j Question of including
Interesting as weU as being for many teaching of jiu jitsu. or Japanese
besides the most worth while. - wre8tiing. as part of the regular school
If a girl is possessed 01 any i curriculum.
for drawing or designing, nooKDinomg
Is a delightful work, as It calls for all
the originality and Individuality of
which she Is capable. Naturally any
one at all Interested in the best in lit
erature and art will find the work all
absorbing, for in no other way is it
possible to come into such personal
touch with an author as in the binding
of his boots.
From a financial point of view also
rhere is much in favor of learning the
Many eirls. while
possessed of a fairly comfortable in
.. would still like to feel that
should anything dire occur they would
be capable of earning a livelihood, and
hrk-hinrfiiiir is a real ana recogm-sBu
nrnftsKion "that once learned could at
any time be turned to account There
i rpallv more to be maae in '""b
up a class in bookbinding than in the
actual work itseir, lor a dook.
wll bound by hand requires some
week? of steady and patient labor, but
-1 . 1 : : a trrrr rrpe Will
tor a rare om emuuu i--- -----
be paid, and for a handsomely bound
collection of the works of a long fa
miliar author a most satisfactory sum
can always be obtained.
If It appeals at all; bookbinding is a
fascinating occupation and as a profes
sion is assuredly far and away more
interesting than the average means of
earning one's daily bread, and for tflis
very reason has it grown so tremen
dously popular among girls who, al
though at present are possessed of all
that money can buy, nevertheless feel
that they would like to have something
upon which to fall back.
EPISTOLARY AFFEC1ATI0N.
Tha Art of Letter Writing In the Olden
Time.
Not infrequently complaint is
made in the magazines and more
conservative newspapers that the
art of letter writing has been lost;
that the grace and charm as exempli
fied in the correspondence of writers
in other days find no parallel in
this matter of fact period.
Answer is usually returned that
Ot. thine about Jiu Jitsu is that It Is
graceful. The throws and falls are all
done when,, expert witn an ease , ami mall or woman of today is too
grace that are nttie snor. u hnsilv encased to permit of their in-
ous. What is or more , - , - - . w 0Tn
NEW POSTAL LAW.
The United States Postal De
partment has made new regula
tions in regard to carrying second
class mail matter ( such as news
papers, magazines, periodicals,
etc.) the same going into effect
What IS OI uiuie iiivji w"-v- i , , - - .1 a4.
wonderfully beneficial effect Tt has dulgence in the epistolary affecta-
the
upon the health of those uttie pupus
who have already become proficient
and who number small mites of five or
six years.
One of the most potent results is me
improved circulation of a ; child who
has been through a course of training,
the exercise invigorating all the or
gans and starting the circulation
through brain and body. It permits of
no danger of strain and can conse
quently be indulged in by the small
devotee without any anxiety on the
part of the school authorities.
In the case of an exceearngiy aen-
January i, 1900 and allowing
publishers to April 1, igcS, to
prepare their subscription lists in
accordance with the new order of
things. The effect of the change
SLAG ON ROADS.
tions of olden times. Certainly the
letter writers of those days enjoyed
the advantage of great leisure. It is
difficult otherwise to account for
their prodigality of phrasing.
Lady Pomf ret, we are told, pre
sented to Lady Hereford a pair of
alabaster vases and received in re
turn a letter of thanks fitted to the
times.
"There is," wrote the recipient of
the vases, "an elegance in them su
perior to anything I ever saw, and
vet. inestimable and beautiful as
cate child the result has proved satis- are jn themselves, their being
CLOTHES SUPPORTER.
f
Adapted to Support a Large Number
of Garments.
When selecting a house the most
Important requisite In the eyes of the
housewife is the number or domes
closets. In her estimation mere must
be plenty of them, and she prefers
those of large capacity, in tne major
ity of cases she must be satisfied with
very small closets, whlcn artora dui
little space for the reception of clothes.
By discarding the hooks usually fas
tened to the top and sides of the closet
factory beyond the most sanguine
hopes, and the difference in the phy
sique of the little pupil, who numbers
eight or nine summers, seems hardly ,
credible after a course of only three
months' training.
A lesson in Jiu Jitsu lasts from twen
ty to thirty minutes, th,e movements
representing the art of self defense or
attack. Naturally enough, in the case
of the small people it is necessary to
teach the attitudes one by one till they
become instinctive, the actual reason
ing power which would direct when
they should be turned to account re
quiring riper years.
The ankle trip, which consists in
swinging the opponent's leg aside Just
at the psychological moment, when his
weight is being shifted from the left
foot to the rieht and pulling him
aside at the same time, is taught first,
the children being wonderfully quick
at picking up the theory and being
given an opportunity of testing every
movement on the teacher.
BUSINESS TRAINING.
Driving a Good Bargain.
The barber's small son was in the
habit of playing around his father's
shop, and he was always keenly in
terested in the patrons. Many a
stray penny found its way into the
little chubby hand, and sticks of
gum were dropped in quite as
though by accident. Judge Blank
drifted into the shop the other aft
ernoon for a hair cut. The lad rec
ognized the fact that the judge was
a new patron and so was more than
ordinarilv interested in him. He
hung at "the foot of the chair and
looked musingly at the judge's bald
head. Then he walked slowly to the
back of the chair and surveyed the
scanty fringe of hair from that
point of vantage. He could contain
himself no longer and burst out in
credulously; 'Tather, do you get a
quarter for cutting that?" Lippin
tott's Magazine.
Dogs In Harness.
Only occasionally in the United
States does one see dogs in harness,
but it is a common sight all through
Canada. There not only boys and
girls, but grown men, do not disdain
to be pulled by Fido or Bruno, and
it is quite customary when touring
through the country to see dog's
harness hanging on the stable wall
beside that of the horse. The little
carts used for dogs are so light that
they are not burdensome, and of
course only a big, heavy'dog, like a
Newfoundland or some of the mon
grel types, is. ever put to such fwt
' Exchange. - . .
NEW CLOTHES HANGER.
and employing the clothes supporters
shown In the illustration all the avail
able space in the closet could be util
ized. It is especially adapted to re
ceive a large number of garments or
other articles when in extended posi
tion and to fold them into a compact
form without creasing or soiling them
when contracted. In addition every
garment is immediately accessible,
thus eliminating the nuisance of re
moving the garments ou the forward
hooks iu order to reach those on the
hooks farther back. It will be obvious
that when the tongs are drawn into
an extended position a large number of
garmeuts can be easily hung upon the
lower crossbar and can afterward be
folded into compact condition by push
ing the supporter to the folded posi
tion. Washington Star.
Man Should Listen to Wife's Counsel
In Business Affairs.
Governor Glenn of North Carolina
writes: '
I advise every man who would be
successful to listen to his wife's coun
sel in business affairs. The woman
who Is really a man's helpmeet is the
one who Is able to advise him on ev
ery serious problem that confronts
him. But no woman can be a real
companion who must spend all her
time as cook and housekeeper. She
ought to know about business and
what is going on in the world. It is
unreasonable of any man to expect his
wife to meet his needs as a real com
panion If he does not provide the
means for her to become so. A wife
should have some leisure to study and
develop herself along Intellectual lines,
A man who holds the opposite Idea
lowers the standard for wifehood and
womanhood. And every girl and wo
man in the country should have a
strict and thorough business educa
tion. No matter how fortunate a
girl's immediate circumstances, she
should be given a complete business
training. Let them be trained to be
first class stenographers, bank cash
iers, professional nurses, bookkeepers
-nnv-thinc thev have talent for. But
a mark of your friendship enhances
their value to me even beyond their
merit. I sit and look at them with
Admiration for an hour together. I
have not a room in the house worthy
of them, no furniture good enough
to fit with them in short, I find a
thousand wants that never entered
my head before. I am grown ambi
tious all at once and want to change
my house for a palace and to ran
sack all the cabinets in Europe for
paintings, sculptures and pther curi
osities to place with them."
Even Lady Pomfret, who was her
Relf a nrettv fair phrasemaker,
seems to have been a little abashed
bv her friend's enthusiasm
"You quite confound me, dear
madam," she replied, "with the en
comiums you bestow upon a couple
of alabaster vases fit only-for the
obscurity of a grotto and very justly
make me blush for having sent so
trifling a present."
This extravagant diction is equal
ed by that of the Princess Craon
when writing to Sir Horace Wal
pole. After thanking Walpole for
some trine tne princess says :
"The generosity of your mena
ship for me, sir, leaves me nothing
to desire of all that is precious in
England, China and the Indies.'
Chicago Eecord-Herald.
Usa Old Material and Spread It li
Layers,-Says Highway Expert.
After a banquet which followed the?
first annual smoker of the North Tona
wanda (N. Y.) board of trade Dr. D.
Ward King of Mattland, Mo., delivered
an interesting address on Niagara
county roads, says the Buffalo Express.
"While the Idea prevaus in tne ciuea
of New York state," said Mr. King,.
. v,rl mails art mnstlv all in the-
practically Compels the establish- lt ls weU to mentlon the fact that
ment 01 new relations Detween New York state has 73,000 nines or
the publisher and subscribers of roads, 5,000 miles of which are Iw-
County papers. ', r transnortatlon be-
The department ruling requires Tf . wnprnllv admltted by road:
that subscriptions entitled to the! buuaers in this state (New Yorkand
second class postage rate shall the United States that with the split
not be delinquent longer than the log drag- system the difficulty Is re-
toiiowiug penoGS 01 time: mtletaed the officials for-
Dailies within three months. making g0od roads and then giving the
Tri-weeklies within six months. roads but little attention. He said
Semi - weeklies within nine that roads should be improved and -
m.fl,. Kept 'constantly in repair, no buybcu
Weeklies within one year mlll1lPP Hnd se it m alanine streeta
The mails are not forbidden to ln city He reCommended the us
subscribers who are m arreais of old slag only as the new slag from
longer than the time provided in the iron furnace is too soft. The slag.
& ,. 1 ,ti,;..oi,w; must be put on in layers, and eacu
the new ruling, but these subscri- J '
bers are placed in a separate class- Blag ou from a foot to two feet
ification, requiring a higher rate dee ani then rolling it. The present
. ... , - i . . . . ' i l. it,.
or DOstaee , tne rate neing so nigD system, ne asseneu, ume a uui. ur
Farmers.
.,Ki;oi,,e 1,1 nnt afford road. All slag should be screened, he-
lu"1 F"" . I UnM nil ,rse slas should go at
iu acuu yaytia l mv. .v-w bottom layer.
scription.
The reason given by tne gov
ernment tor making this order is
. 1 . a. J nt1 tnnffor 1 c
mat secuuu uds. ui. Read the "Weekly Oresronian" of Port
being carried tnrougo ine uim jand and the "CVwvallis Gazette" for the
of o rato nf nnstace thereon general news of the world. aJso for In-
t , - 1 i f -r formation about how to obtain te bppt
wmcn is less, man tuc regBlt8 ,n cnltivatins fhe Boil stcek rabfc.
riage. ine. fruit raisinc, eto.
Tin, nATWCr-w hat heretofore I You can secure both of thpp excellent
. ,: - f :c ci,h. for one year by paying to he-
oecn nuciai iu'giviuS Corvallin Gazette" the anm of tuortoi-
seribers time to pav for their sub- m-s and fiftv cents, in ndvarcp. pewi.
;(.; u,, nnvirn Conn net monev by postofTieo orr'er or tirk
scnptions, by paying $200 per . w
year for tbose past due ana si-5o be Dromptiy mefled to you. 8ttF
. . - - -
per annum when tne same was
paid in advance. Having made
the diSerence in the past-due and
advance rate has resulted in giv-
dni? the GAZETTE a larger portion
. .. m , - 1
of Daid ud subscribers. 1 nis ruie
must now be changed according
to Uncle Sam's order, as trie
newspaper has no voice in the
The (Jazette invnes us
The Best Quality of
PIANOS " ORGANS
At the Store of GRAHAM & WELLS"
Corvallis, Oregon
CUSTOMERS
matter.
patrons to Settle their dues soon. Are requested to call and see them b-
lore purcnanng eiacwuw:. r
- A Delicate Distinction.
The architect of the new town
h All -which was almost finished,
wished to know what people thought
of it. So he strolled over to "Jer-
rold's livery Stable, Boarding and
Baiting," and nodded to the propri
etor.
"Fine town you have here."
fEe-ah, pretty fair."
"How do you like the new hall ?"
"Tine, now that I've got used to
it. Looked a little queer at first."
"What do people think of it?"
"Most of 'em are satisfied, I
guess."
"Do they say good things about
it?"
"Prettv fair. When the walls first
bean to show up and we could see
THE EARLY PIGS.
Comfort For the Mather Hog and Hea
New Family.
By J. H. GR1SDALE. i
Iora " " " nrrTn; n r-ohi MENT8 FOR REASONABLE PRICES'
rowing or parturition occurring hi -nBtead of extra to mAtf
THIS OLD RELIABLE HOUSE will1
sell their FINE-TONED INBTRTJ.
spring weather the sow should receiva
Own Your Home
look like a
leave a girl without any definite train
ing whereby she may earn a livelihood
in case of necessity. I believe the
I guess you'd find there's more corn-
reason many women go into wrong
paths in life is simply because they
are helpless when thrown suddenly on
their own resources." Woman's Jour
nal. HEALTH AND BEAUTY.
First
To Mend a Tear.
Accidents will happen and a tear in
one's best skirt is no laughing matter.
For most rents baste a piece of thin
paper under the rent, drawing it into
perfect shape; .then darn neatly with
ravelings of the material. If one has
no pieces, these can sometimes be ob
tained from the raw edges of the skirt
gores. A French patch is made with
out turning the edges under. The piece
is smoothly fitted in and a piece of thin
paper basted on. The edges of the
patch are then darned with very fine
stitches. Always press a darn care
fully after finishing it
ment than criticism.'1
. What Happened to Jones.
One day a tall, gaunt woman,
with rope colored hair and an ex
Tyrpssiori of e-reat fierceness, strode
into the office of a county clerk in
West Virginia. -
"You air the person that keeps
the marriage books, ain't ye' she
demanded.
"What book do you wish to see,
madam ?"asked the polite clerk.
"Kin you find out if Jim Jones
was married?"
Search of the records disclosed
the name of James Jones, for whose
marriage a license had been issued
two years before.
"Married Elizabeth Mott, didn't
he ?" asked the woman.
"The license was issued for a mar
riage with Miss Elizabeth Mott."
"Well, young man, I'm Elizabeth.
I thought I oughter come in an' tell
ye that Jim has escaped !" Har
pers Weekly.
The Bachelor.
Poor old bachelor, little he knows
What harvest of sadness his selfishness
ROWS !
I Hard is his task to accomplish his ease.
Hardest 01 an mmsen is lo
Poor old bachelor, pity him all.
Bitter the honey he mixes with gall!
Sleeping and eating and drinking, for-
nooth.
AU that he thinks of, and that la the
truth.
These take the place of the child he has
missed;
These compensation for being unkissed;
Selfishly gloating o'er lack of a wife.
Wrapt ln himself the whole of his life.
charging you
eatu tUC iw r; - railroad toes ana
a ratner liDerai rauou vl uiu pvu- - - - ,
in food, such as bran mashes, chopped -
oats, skim milk, shorts, a little oilmeal, M USiC Loving People"
refnl always to see that
--'-- " - . .-. . j- 1
there are no signs of constipation, that can purcnase inese rename gua
ho iwp1 are onite loose. their home town. If there is onyWlng
The attendant should always be on you do not nndewtana you wm nea ine
r,W! torms with every sow. but tins sellers near your nome.
should very particularly be the case tor
a few weeks before, during the time of
and for a few weeks after parturition
By a little petting and a few kindness
es that appeal to her sense of what is
nice the attendant can win the conn
deuce of almost any sow, provided, of
course, that he has not previously won (
her dislike.
Tartuiition should take place in a
pen specially prepared for the even;
and for the accommodation of the
mother and her family during the first
few weeks of their lives. Only a small
amount of cut straw or chaff should be
given for bedding, thu3 no opportunity
being offered the little ones to got lost
or tangled up and so exposed to danger
of death from cold, hunger or crushing
by the sow. As a further protection a
board about eight inches wide placed
flat horizontally abont eight inches
from the floor along the wall, to which
it should be firmly attached, will be
round of considerable value, affording
a space where the little ones can run
or be shoved when the mother lies
down.
fipnprallv sneaking, the less inter
ference at parturition the better. If
the weather be cold a good plan is to
have some clean dry straw in a box or
barrel, into which the little ones may be
placed as they are born, being first
dried with a cloth. If parturition is
oir,w in pold weather it is sometimes
wise to put some warm bricks or flat
stones in the box with tne youngsters,.
They should be allowed to suck as soon
as possible after birtn
Unfeeling.
A certain drill sergeant whose se-
flmlrk.
Life's solemn duties he's wining to shirk.
While nature exacting the penalty sure
At best makes the bachelor nothing -but
poor. .
The slave eC himself, hard tyrant to
Ha works Ilka a Turk to aceomptah hia
A pinch of salt taken before meals
stimulates digestion. ,
A cup of strong coffee will remove
the odor of onions from the breath.
Nervous spasms are usually reliev
ed by dissolving a little salt in the
mouth.
Bathing in salt water tones up the
skin and gives it a fresh, wholesome
color.
For corns take equal parts of lard
and quinine and mix thoroughly. Ap
ply at night
For a sprained ankle the whites of
eggs and powdered alum made into
plaster is almost a specific.
Hot water is better than cold for
bruises. It relieves pain quickly ana
Will prevent discoloration.
One should be cautious about enter
ing a sickroom in a state of perspira
tion, as the moment you become cool
your pores absorb.
Stewed rhubarb has a well known
medicinal value besides being a com
plexion beautifier. It is said to be val
uable for rheumatic trouDies.
Eggs are consmerea one 01 xue : s0 as t admit tne passage ox uue , the author & check foj. the
..0 to !uPPsta co,rteSe exre" I same inclosed a congratulatory note,
uu V f ructor dv way 01 practice hzm to continue writing
and to follow .literature as a profes
sion. The kind thoughtfulness was
appreciated and remembered by
Aldrich, and tne note was careiuuy
nreserved. Years after, when al
drich himself was the editor of the
Atlantic and Lowell sent a contribu
tion, he was gratified at receiving a
codv of the note he himself had
written years before. When it ia
realized that Lowell had already
made a reputation in letters the
clause advising him to stick to lit
erature has a funny supuLcassc.
When Lowell was editor of the
verity had made him unpopular Aldrich. then
with his company was putting a I hi3"literary creer.
6lllrmtl.t iHe was much impressed with the
nem-iu. fho i literary merits of the article and 1
so as to admit the passage of the j ,,w wk W th
will revive a person who has Deen
stunned by a heavy fall if he can be
"Glad I'm not In it," he says, witn a , forced to swallow it
lessen the Inflammation of stomach j lanation walked slowly down the
and intestines. . - , f formed by the two ranks, say-
In even severe attacks of colic a tea- j. , J
spoonful of salt dissolved in a teacup-: m "VmX'mrwP Pav atten
tat of cold water has been known to ISow I m the corpse, .fay atten
rive Immediate relief. The same dose , tion.
party, he turned round, regarded
them steadily with a scrutinizing
eye for a moment or two, then re
marked: "Your 'fnd3 is right, and your
'eads is ridit, but yon 'aven't got
that look "of -Te-n-t you-ought to
ave.'-pc-arson's Weekly.
A teaspoonful of ground mustard in
a cupful of warm water is . .ompt
and reliable emetic and : .d be tak
en In cases of polsouing or cramps
from overeating. Powdered resin ,1s
the best thing to stop bleed log from
cuts. . .v;
THE
- National - Bank
of Corvallis
has some
TO WN LOTS
Near the State Agricultural College
which you ean buy on the INSTALL
MENT PLAN or for cash.
Save Ten or Twenty Cellars
per month and pay the same on a town
lot. " Thereafter BUILD YOUR HOME
on the lot and continue to make these
small monthly payments oa the home
and you will scon have it paid for and
have no more rant to pay.
For information address
Yt.'H. SAVAG
Corvallis, Or
Bargain Sale
OF
Dress Gosds
AND
AT
Shoes
KEKKLE & DAVSS
V