Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, July 21, 1905, Image 3

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I'm Falli,
Thus cried the hair. And a
kind neighbor came to the res
cue with a bottle of Ayer's
Hair Vigor. The hair was
saved! In gratitude, it grew
long and heavy, and with all
the deep, rich color of early
life. Sold in all parts of the
world for sixty years.
" About on year wro I lost nearly all ef my
lair following: an attack of mauler. I was
advised by a fileud to use Ayer'a Hair Vtiror.
I did to, and a a result I now bay a beautiful
head of hair." Mas, W. J. Browx. Menom
onea Fall.. Wla.
by J. O. A jer Co.. IfOwsll.
manuXaoturera ef
I . i.l.Jl;ai'iaUiai.M
mil nn sa
Mindinir His Own Business.
Wallace Cumminsrs UBed to drive
the old stage which ran between j
Bridgton and Portland. One day Wal
lace had as a passenger out of Port
land a young city chap or dude, as
Wallace called him. The scenery
along the stage route was both beau
tiful and diversified; the young man
was much Interested, and as he sat
on the box, or post of honor, beside
Wallace literally plied him with ques
tions as to what - mountain that was
and what river this was. etc.
The old driver, who detested this
6ort of interrogation, stood it as long
as he could. Finally he blurted out:
"Say, stranger, if you'll mind your
business I'll mind mine."
Thus snubbed, the young man re
lapsed into silence.
They had driven about ten miles
farther when they came to a long hill,
where the driver was obliged to apply
the brake. As he shoved his foot to
ward it he immediately' noticed that
the mail bag, which always lay there,
was gone. Evidently it had dropped
Off along the road.
Wallace stopped his horses; then,
breaking the long silence, he said:
"Say, stranger, did you see that mail
bag slide off?"
"Yes, I did; some ten miles back,"
calmly remarked the young man.
"Well, why In thunder didn't you
tell me?" gasped the astonished
The "dude" looked him squarely In
the eye for a moment, and then ne
drawled, Imitating Wallace's tone:
"Say, driver, you mind your business
and I'll mind mine."
The rest of the journey was driven
In cold silence. Boston Herald.
- Infant mortality is reported to be
greater in Prussia than in any other
country except Russia. The deaths the
first year are 6 to 7 per cent in Sweden,
15 in France and 23.6 in Prussia. -
Sufferings Were Protracted and Severe
Tried Every Known Remedy With
out Belief Serious Stomach Trouble
Cured by Three Bottles of Perunal
Capt. W. W. Jackson, 705 G St., N.
. W., Washmgotn, D. C, writes:
"T aft oiohro.fhiuiA oaflM nlit o vcif-
I j eratf 'the Black Hawk, Mexican and
the Civil wars. I am by profession
physicaii,. but abandoned the same.
"Some years ago I was seriously af
fected with catarrh of the stomach. My
sufferings were protracted and severe. I
tried every known remedy without obtain-
- ine relict.
"In desperation I began the use of your
Peruna. I began to realize immediate
though gradual improvement.
' "After the use of three bottles every
appearance of my -complaint was re-
moved, and I have no hesitation in rec
ommending it as an infallible remedy
for that disorder." W. W. Jackson.
Address Dr. 8. B. Hartman, Presi
. dent of The Hartman Sanitarium, Co
'.' lumbus, Ohio.
L...4gA JL-a-A1! l.sTyJ
I Bast Couch Syrup. Tastsa Good. Daa
in time, eoia DrYiraggists.
Jamie's Manliness.
Jamie came into the house crying
like a girl. Mother sighed, for her lit
tle son was not showing the manly
traits that should come with a boy s
fifth birthday. '
What Is the matter, Jamie?"
The boys is pickin' on me, mamma.
They're always pickin on me, an
makin' fun. Boo-hoo!"
"There, there, son. You'll never be
a man If you cry like that"
"But, mamma dearie, that" s Just the
matter of me. Everybody thinks I m
a girl with these horrid old curls and
dresses, too. The boys laugh at me
and pull my hair and tell me to go
play with the girls, an' they run away
from me an' won't let me play with
them. Boo-hoo! An' yestiddy when
fthat lady called, she said: 'How de do.
little girl,' an' she kissed me, an I
wanted to Jes' slap her, an I hate her,
an' I want to be a boy! ! Boo-hoo-hoo!"
Mother sighed. Those beautiful
golden curls had been her pride, and
when they were gone her baby would
be gone. But she could not have her
baby and a manly boy, too, that was
Well, If t- must I must Now,
Jamie, if you'll stop crying this very
minute I'll have the curls cut off this
Sunbeams broke out all over Jamie's
face and dried up the tears.
"Oh, mamma! An' pants, too! Can
I have pants?" .
"We'll see."
That night when papa came home
there was a strange boy at the gate
to meet him. A boy with a crop of
yellow bristles, and trousers ' with
pockets, and a face as Jolly as a har
vest moon.
"Hello, pop! See me. I'm a real boy
Jamie's manly traits began to de
velop rapidly. He stamped heavily
when he came into the house and
threw his hat at the hall rack instead
of hanging it up as he bad been
taught He grew a whistle and get
chummy with the boys.
Mother was startled one evening to
see her baby of two weeks ago stand
ing in front of the long mirror and
thrusting his fists at his own likeness
In a manner most ferocious, frowning
meanwhile as if upon a hated foe.
"Why, Jamie, what are you doing?"
Her last fears for her son's manli
ness vanished as he looked up . and
stopped in the midst of a terrific up-
percut and answered:
"I'm jes' practisin', mamma. I got
to lick a feller to-morrow. If s about
a girl."
The Wilfnl Kangaroo.
The little Kangaroo
(If. this story is quite true)
Could not be made to bathe Mm in the
He said he never yet '
Saw water quite so wet
The mere suggestion made him shake
and shiver!
His mother said, "Absurd! ,
You're a ninny, on my word! -'
What well-bred jungle creature would
act so I
The little Elephants
Are glad to have the chance .
Their bath is just a frolic, as you know.
"The little Barbary Ape
Does not try to escape
When threatened with ' cold water and
the soap;
The Hippo-potamusses
Don't mae such awful fusses,
Nor the Jaguar, nor the little Antelope.
"The mild, obedient Yak " "
Would never answer back,
Nor does the Rhino-cino-roarer-horie;
And the baby Crocodile
Why, the water makes him smile;
And he takes his daily plunges as
course." .
St Nicholas.
Good Season.
A little girl of five summers went
out to a tea party, and during the
evening her sash became untied.
"Tie my sash, please," she said to
her hostess. .
"Can't you tie It yourself?" asked
that lady.
"Of course I can't"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm In front," said the
child, surprised at her elder's stupid
ity. . ' -
The Wren's Funny Meat.
The mother, wren, with her. saucy
tall tilted at a saucy angle, loved to
come around the lattices and porches
of the house to make her home.
A gray-haired gentleman sitting
Quietly reading on his front porch one
morning watched her with a mixture
of amusement and affection till she
flitted out of his view.
Presently he felt the flutter of wings
around his head, and then a pair of
small feet rested there. It waa the
A most vigorous pulling and tugging
at his hair betrayed the purpose of thu
enterprising little bird. When she had
secured what she could carry of Ihe
soft white hair she flew away, return
ing now and then for another supply.
After the leaves had fallen and all
was brown and bare, the nest was
found, with its lining of white hair,
swinging among the branches of some
dead hop vines on the porch.
An Interesting Experiment.
A pretty and simple experiment Is to
change the color of flowers. Immerse
the flowers in ammonia, and you will
be surprised to see walte lilies change
to yellow; pink roses turn a lovely
light green; dark red sweet peas as
sume blue and rich purple tints. The
change is so rapid as to suggest the
presence of a magician.
fcpinninir an Efra".
Did you ever try to spin an egg? All
you have to do is to boil the egg hard
and twirl It in your fingers. Then try
to spin It on Its side. In this you will
fail, as the egg will stand and spin on
its large end.
Extravagant Habits Hob Ball Players
. of Benefit of Big; Salaries.
The worst fault of the baseball busi
ness is that it teaches young men- the
habit of extravagance and high living,
writes Jimmy Ryan, once one of the
best. Naturally the players on each
great team are lauded as heroes by
their admirers; the newspapers are full
of accounts of their doings; they meet
Jiundreds of "good fellows", who want
xnem to arm, smoxe or carouse wun
them. They meet "sports" of wealth
and they try to Imitate these "sports."
They spend their money for rich
clothes, wines, costly cigars and dia
monds, and usually when they are sud
denly confronted with a ten days' no
tice of release the diamonds are about
all that they have left to show for the
earnings of years. The old-timers were
more reckless in this regard than the
new generation of ball players, but
there are enough youngsters now
wasting money.
To me it is a sad commentary on the
game to see the great stars of other
days toiling as day laborers. The
greatest pitcher of them all is digging
ditches in Indianapolis; perhaps the
greatest infielder the world has known
is clerking in a -cigar store at $12 a
week. I have jseen him spend $300 In
one night I find them in cheap sa
loons, on police forces, ' in city jobs.
but few in any established business
and still fewer accumulating wealth.
They wasted their years ef time on
the ball field and wasted the money
that they earned.
At the end of a baseball career the
player is usually left stranded In the
business world. He gains a false idea
of his own Importance from the cheers
of the crowd and the crowd forgets
him almost as soon as he gets out of
his uniform. He depends upon some
of his powerful "friends" to get him a
position when he gets through. The
end usually 'comes with startling sud
denness. The friends that he relied
upon are not so friendly to a back
number as to a brilliant player. He
drifts to thejninors, drops out of sight,
and seldom rises again.
Couldn't Be Both.
"During the taking of a religious
census of the District of Columbia the
past winter," relates a representative
from Tennessee, "a couple of young
ladies who were engaged In the work
stopped at my heme on Capitol Hill,
and when the bell rang it was an
swered by the negro boy I brought
from Tennessee with me. The ladles
asked him:
" 'Will you please tell me who lives
" 'Yessum; Mistah Johnslng,' was
the answer. .
'Is he a Christianr
" 'No, ma'am. He's er congressman
from Tennersee. "
Governor Douglas of Massachusetts
tells this of the Southern darky:
"There was a darky in southern
Tennessee named Eph Friday, who
died a short time ago. Eph was
neither a member of a church nor of
a lodge and thus had no one to deliver
an address or a prayer at his burial.
At last an old un'cle consented to say
a few remarks for the departed soul.
As the coffin was being lowered Into
the grave the old uncle said to the as
sembled mourners:
" 'Eph Friday, we trusts you nab
gone to de place whar we 'spects you
ain't'" Philadelphia Ledger. i
Showing; It to Him.
Scout (from the city) Where la the
beautiful view you advertise? ,
Farmer Takemin Why, e Jest walk
over ter Pokeville an take th' stage
to Hen Lake, an' tn' steamer ter Moose
Landing, an' then climb up Skeeter
mountain ter what they call "Lover's
Leap" and tbar ye git th view, an'
It's a dandy. Puck.
Chicago Sequence,
The Maid What is love?
The Bachelor Love is the prelude
to matrimony,
The Maid And what Is matrimony?
The Bachelor The prelude to ali
Any man who works around a mill
can tell you what he weighs to-day
and what he weighed yesterday. Men
working around a mill do all their
loafing on the scales.
: Plenty used to mean enough before
trusts got to hogging things.
-Your new auto Is sixteen horse
Isn't it? Fox Umt Sixteen he
balky horse power. Brooklyn Life.
Diner I've been waiting half an
hour for that chicken I ordered. Walt
erYou have an uncommon amount of
patience, sir. Judge.
She la skin grafting a very late
aiscovery? He No, It is only a new
branch of a very old art; all grafting Is
a skin profess. Detroit Free Press.
Sometimes a man is desbised for
twenty or thirty years because he is so
stingy, and then envied all the rest
of his life because he Is so rich. Som-
errille Journal. '
"You haven't been
marked the Ink-well.
here long," re
rvr 99 it,.
new blotter. "How do you like your
T?1. We l VertaInly abS0Tb"
ing. Philadelphia Ledger.
Husband You ought to know more
than to order a pearl necklace when
you know how I'm fixed! Wife Why, sonable, you have deprived that corn
John, do you think I want everybody pany of its rights, of its property, and
to know how you're fixed? Puck. the circuit court of the United States
"Well, Doctors Brown and Smith are has jursyjiction under the Fourteenth
srolntr ft oiwnts rmnr. irl RntrnT " i,
the operation necessary?" "Why, yes;
Brown has a note coming due, and
Smith wants an automobile." Puck.
Mistress (to applicant for cook's po
sition) Why did you leave your last
place? Applicant You are very in
quisitive, marm. I didn't ax yer what
for yer last cook left you. Pick-Me-
up. ,
Miss Innlt You seemed bored at the
theater last night, Mr. Knott Don't
you like Shakespeare? Mr. Wyse
Knott Oh,'" Shakespeare's all right I
s'pose, but I wisht he'd turn out some
thing new. Ex.
"Albert, dear, while looking through
some of your old clothes, I made such
a lucky find that I ordered a new dress
on the strength of it" "What was It
dear?" "Half a dozen checks that had
never been written on."
Rastus (to druggist) Look hyah.
misteh. Yo' all sole me some stuff to
make Easteh aigs yestuddy. Drug
gistWell? Rastus Well, I feed hit
to dem hens, an' dey ain' lay no aigs
dey lay down en' die.
Mrs. Smith Had your daughter a
pleasant voyage? Mrs. Newrich Yes,
but they must have had an accident
She wrote she landed on Terra Firrua,
and I knew the boat was bound for
Liverpool. New York Mail.
Growell (in cheap restaurant) Here,
waiter! Are these mutton or pork
chops? Walter Can't you tell by the
teste? Growell No. Waltei
what difference does it make what
they arO Illustrated Bits.
Mamma I thought there was an ap
ple on the sideboard and I was going
to (It it to you, but I find it Isn't
there! Freddy Well, will you give
me something else, mummy, 'cos It
wasn't a very good oneT--Punch.
"One-half of the world's happiness is
solved when a person Mearns to mind
his own business." "Yes, but it's the
other half that causes the most trou
ble " "What's that?" "Getting other
people to mind theirs." Detroit Free
Mrs. Gadabout People are saying
you called on Mrs. Verdigris the other
day and got a setback. Mrs. Upjohn
What a wilful perversion of truth! I
called on her, and got back a set of
Dickens that I'd loaned her two years
Mrs. Nuwad Here's the bread I
started to make to-day. Is'nt it too
annoying? Mr. "Nuwed Why, It isn't
baked at all. Mrs. Nuwed I know it
Isn't; that's just it I put plenty of
baking powder In it, but It doesn't
seem to have worked.
La Montt Children are so much
worse than they used to be.
do you attribute it to? La Moyne
Improved ideas in building. La Montt
What has that to do with it? La
Moyne Much. Shingles are scarce.
and you can't spank a boy with a tin
A Process Reversed: "You regard
camDaisn calculations as a
branch of mathematics?" "Yes," an
swered the erudite personage. "The
method differs from all others. You
start with the answer, and then work
backward and evolve a problem to
demonstrate it",
Cold Mine 3,900 Feet Deep.
The deepest gold mine In the world
Is said to be at Bendigo, Australia. It
Is called the New Chum mine,' and its
main shaft is sunk to a depth of three-
quarters of a mile. The most difficult
problem of working a mine of such
depth is how to keep the tunnels and
general workings cool enough for the
. . .
miners to worn, xne temperature is
11 -l.An4. 1 AO rrfrma i
of course, greatly enervating. To make
spray 01 com water is iei uuwu iruui
ahov and keDt continually Dlavinar on
their bodies. They are naked from the
waist upT
- More Trouble.
Patience-What is that the choir Is
B!f,i, ,.. ',nii' n f
' ptricrh' thats Tbe Bat"
tie song. . '
"Gracious! Is the choir going to
have another fight? '-Yonkers States-
matt- ' ' - -
The young man who gets a good
start in life doesn't always make a sat
isfactory finish. '
A pretty girl can teach a man any
thing but common sense.
Railroad Rate Legislation.
Testifying before the senate commit
tee at Washington, Interstate Com
merce Commissioner Prouty said in
discussing the proposition to give that
commission the power to regulate rail
way rates)
"I think the railways should make
their own rates. I think they should
allowed to develop their .own busi-
ness. I have never advocated any law,
and I am not now in favor of any law,
which would put the rate making
power into the hands of any commis
sion or any court. While it may be
necessarv to do that some time, while
that is done in some states at the nres-
ent time, while it is done in some
countries, I am opposed to it.
The railway rate is property. It is all
the property that the railway has got
The rest of its property is not good for
anything unless it can charge a rate,
JNow has always seemed to me that
when a rate was fixed, if that rate was
an unreasonable rate, it deprives the
railroad company of its property pro
8honld property of a nil-
wad; it is not necessary that you
should eay that it shall not earn three
per cent or four per cent. When you
put in a rate that is inherently unrea-
amenoment to restrain mat
I have looked at these cases a great
many times, and I can only come to
the conclusion that a railroad com
pany is entitled to charge a fair and
reasonable rate, and if any order of a
commission, if any statute of a state
legislature takes away that rate., the
Fourteenth amendment
protects the
railwav comnanv.'
I sr J af
The Experience 'Which a College Grad
uate Encountered.
Any business man of long experi
ence, college man though he be him
self, will attest to the wrinkles that
have to be taken out of the average
college man at the first brush, says
man in business. 1 had an experience
with one of them a short time -ago,
When I first talked with him he was
willing to "accept" a position if it paid
$100 a month, for instance!
I turned him out In one minute and
thirty seconds, asking that he call
again about the middle of the next
week. He came that is the charac-
teristic of the college man, by the way.
I jumped on him before he got his
breath from the walk upstairs. I ask-'
ed him If he knew about how much his
first three mistakes in the place he
wanted would cost the house? He
didn't, of course. I asked him if he
knew just how much more he might be
worth to me or to another employer if
he could assure me or them that there
I woul(i be no mistake to cost anything.
He thought he did,
Then I came down to the brass tacks
of the jvhole question:
"How long," I said, "will It take for
you to forget In the first place that yon
belong to one of the oldest families in
Virginia; how long to forget that you
were the valedictorian of your .class;
how long to lose recollection of your
having proposed 'accepting' a position
at $100 a month, and to make up your
mid that if I allow you to fill a place
here at $60 a month for the first year
you wUl be a fortunate young man?"
He was hurt An old friend of mine
had been an old friend of the young
man's father. He said he would call
the next afternoon, and he came.
"I am ready to go to work in the
morning, he said, simply. He has
been at work ever since, too, and if he
keeps to the gait he is going I shall be
stuck into" paying him $60 a week in
stead of his present $60 a month..
Mothers will find Mrs. WlnsloWs 800 thin r
Byrnp the best remedy to use for their children
during tne teeming penoa. ,
Where Extremes Meet.
Modiste What style of sleeve would
you prefer. Mrs. DeStyle?
Mrs. DeStvle I hardly know. What
js ti,e correct thing this season too tight
lor too loose?
Piso's Cure & a remeay for coughs, colds
and consumption. Try it. Price 25 cents,
at druggists.
Chip of the Old Block.
Growells What makes the baby cry
I when the nurse is trying to wash the
dirt from his face?
Mrs. Growells Oh, I suppose he takes
after you,
Growells Now what in the wfirld do
yon mean by that, madam?
Mrs. Growells He evidently wants
the earth.
The tainted blood of ancestors lays
epting untold suffering; by transmitting to them, through the blood, that
blighting disease, Scrofula; for in nearly every instance, the disease can be
traced to some family blood trouble, or blood-kin marriage which is contrary
. - 1 F j r 111 a! ' . . . . .
n me taws ot nature, oweuuxg,
Skin eruptions, white swell- fP
- ue eyes ana we t eared she would lose her sight.
Ol the natural Strength, and T was then that we decided to tn R s s TV..
vitality, are some of the ways medicine at once made a speedy and complete
tk'3 miserable disease man- cure. She is now a young lady, and has never
ifests itself. The , noison had a sirn of the disease to return.
1 transmitted through the s- 5th St, Salina, Kan. Mas. R. Berkxy.
blood pog and Weakens that health-sustaining fluid and in place of its
outribve qualities fills the circulation with scrofulous matter and tubercular
deposits, often resulting in consumption. A disease which has been in the
family blood for generations, perhaps, or at least since the birth of the suf-
v- ferer, requires constitutional treatment S. S. S.
is the remedy best fitted for this. It cleanses tha
iwV iv blood of all scrofulous and tuberculous poisons.
j C"iy C- J C" J Bea it rich and pure and under the tonic effects
" of this erreat
proves, the symptoms all pass away, there is a sure return to health, the dis
ease is cured permanently while posterity is protected. Book on the blood
end any advice wished, furnished by our physicians, without charge.
Kan test, lightest and strongest Stump Pallet
on the market, lit Horse power on toe sweep
with two bones. Write lor descriptive catalog
and prices. 1
Foot ol Morrison Street Portland, Oregon
ftoutro 6itKf mri&um aoc
lle and all erroln that
Infest horses cattle, poul
try, etc Lousy hens will
not lay; nor chicks grow.
live upon the blood which
should go to sustain life
vitality. PRUSSIAN
the lice, thus it SAVES
FEED as extra rations
must be given on account
of Termin. 25o and 50o
dealers. By mail 40c A Ibo
68 page Hand Book Free
PORTLAND SEED CO., Portland. Or-
Voaat Ag-onta.
The Lewis Phono-Metric Institute and School fnv
Stammerers of Detroit, Michigan. Established eleven
years. Have cured thousands. Gold Medal awarded
world's Fair, St. Loui s, iai)4. Recommended by chvslo
lans. educators, clergymen, and pradnates every where.
This Institution has a Western Branch at Portland with
a very large class of pupils in attendance men and
women, pirleand boys allagec. ten wrLay. Many have
peen curea in taree weets, uuc nve to six weeKs is trie
time usually required. Will close in Portland on October
14th. Will accept pupils until September 1st. A
Write at once for particulars and terms. If you mention
this paper and send 6 cents in stamps, to cover postage,
1 will send you our cloth bound. 00 page book. -I he
Origin and Treatment of Stammering," free of charge.
Address "WTT.T.TATVr T. TFWTa
Western Representative Associate Principal '
8. W. Cor. 18th and Raleigh Streets
Note No pupils accepted at Portland after Sept. 1st.
Iowa Improved
Wai,, High
Skims Cold
or Warm
g0 Qent
Formerly located at
253 "Alder Bt. for the
past 5 yea -a
To the Large Brick Building at the 8. E.
Corner of First and Morrison btieets. En
trance No. 162 First Street.
Successful Home Treatment
DR. C. GEE WO 1b known throughont the
United blaies, and is called the (ireat Chi
nese Doctor on account of his wonderful
cures, witi out the aid of a knife, without
using poisons or drugs of any kind. He
treats any and all diseases with powerful
Oriental Roots, Herbs, Buds, bark and
Vegetables that are unknown to medical
science in this country, and through the
use of these harmless remedies, lie guar
antees to cure catarrh, Asthma, Lung
'1 rouble. Rheumatism, IvervousnesM, Stom
ach, Liver, Kidney,- Female weakness
and All Chronic Diseases. Call or write,
end' sing 4 2 c. stamps for mailing Book
and Circular. Address
The C Gee Wo Chinese Medicine Co.
No. First St.. S. C. Cor. Morrison
Pleise mention this paper. Portland, Oregon.
P. N. U.
No. 29-1 905
BEN writing to advertisers plea I
mention tnis paper. I
Sewing on buttons is not a wifely duty,
in Japan there are no buttons.
PITQ Permanently Cored. So flts or nervousness
II IO afterfirstday'su&eofBr.Kline'stireatNervo
Restorer. Send for Free iJ trial bottle and treatise.
Sr. K. H. Kline, Ltd., 931 Arch St.. Philadelphia, Pa.
A guest at a recont golden wedding in
Dantzic, Germany, was the wife's moth
er, aged 91. .
A Disease
We Inherit
upon the shoulders of innocent off-
uiceraung gianas 01 ine nect, catarrn,
appeared on the head of my little
blood medicine the rreneral heaTtri im.