Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, March 03, 1905, Image 7

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Corvallis gazette., March 03, 1905, Image 7

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Newspaper Page TextSpring Humors Come to most people and cause many troubles, pimples, boils and other eruptions, besides loss of appetite, that tired feeling, fits of biliousness, indigestion and headache. The sooner one gets rid of them the better, and the way to get rid of them and to build up the system that hai offered from them is- to take Hood's Sarsaparilla and Pills Forming in combination the Spring Medicine par excellence, cf unequalled strength in purifying the blood aa shown by unequalled, radical and per manent cures of Scrofula Salt Rheum Scald Head Bolls, Plmplee All Kinds of Humor Psoriasis Blood Poisoning ' Rheumatism Catarrh Dyspepsia, Eto Accept no substitute, but be sure to get Hood's, and get it today, - Captain Coomers had sailed over all the seven seas and the mighty bay of Penobscot Therefore he felt only contempt for the little bug-shaped steamer that carried passengers from the mainland to the island resorts which at that time were just begin ning to have a summer population, This was in the days when all good sailing men looked on steam craft as mere landsman's toys. Their contempt was warranted by the habits of the Belle of breaking down in mid-channel, of steering off her. course in a wind, and of staying at dock discreet ly when there was any "considerable breeze of air." On one passage across the bay she fell foul of a current that pushed her upon a sandbank. The passengers be gan to run for the boats and hunt in Impossible places for life-preservers. Captain Coomers sat on deck, bis big frame supported by a camp-stool and his "game leg" stretched out on an other camp-stool. He sat still while the others, crew and passengers, wero rushing about in futile activity. He looked at the strip of island, then out at the bay, then at the sky. Then he' rested his chin on his chest and studied the deck planking. A passenger ran up to him and cried. "O, captain, we are wrecked!" "Hum?" "We are wrecked." "Be we?" . "Is there any danger?" . "Hum?" "Are we going to sink?" "Not fur in this water." "Are you sure? I'm afraid we we shall all be drowned!" "Not if you're more'n four feet high." , The passenger seemed satisfied at last, and went away. Captain Coomers resumed his gaze at the deck. Pres ently another passenger saw him. U, captain, I m so glad you re here!" "So be I." "Think there's any danger?" "I ain't seen any." "Of course we we aren't far from shore?" , "No. We're as nigh as two lovers on a slopin' sofa." "You take it coolly!" "Well, you see I've been wrecked off Cape Horn and I was in a boat that was chawed by a whale. I don't puppus to get my boots wet out o' any seen land vehicle as this here." Youth's Companion. A Confusing Advertisement. A London editor has received from Beilin a printed notice of a hew hair dye, described in English. "I de liver the hair dye from the fair to tha deepest dark," the Berlin man says. Then, with a burst of candor, for which ' he cannot be sufficiently com mended, he adds: "It produces a na tural color and is thoroughly Injuri ous." $100 Reward, $100. The readers of this paper will be pleased to learn that there is at least one dreaded disease that science has been able to cure in all its stages, and that is Catarrh. Hall's Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh being a constitu tional disease, requires a constitutional treat ment. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the foundation of the disease, and giving the pa tient strength by building up the constitution and assisting nature in doing its work. The proprietors have so much faith in its curative fiowers that they offer One Hundred Dollars or any case that it fails to cure. Send for list of testimonials. Address. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O. Bold by druggists, 75c Hall's Family Fills are the best. K8. There was a maid whose name was K8, And she was always tempting 18; She'd jilt a beau The least bit sleau, But now for beaux she has to w8. This maiden dearly loved to sk8, But was of such enormous w8 That when she tripped . And slid and slipped The ice was in an awful st8. Chicago " Chronicle. For 1905. Father Time was observed getting his hair clipped. , "What is that for?" asked the friend. "Why, people are going too rapidly these days," explained Father Time, "and I want to fix it so they can't take me by the forelock." Seven plum puddings hung m a kitch en at Etalham, England, recently,-when a donkey walked in and at five of thtm, X ' A flFFP-WATFR MAN. 4 Clara Did he propose to you before or after he kissed you? Maud I can't tell. During the excitement I forgot all the details.-Lif e. Husband You are always looking for bargains. Was thereover a time when you wasn't a bargain hunted? Wife Yes, dear; when I married you. scissors. Mrs. Chatterson It was - such a relief to have my husband fail. Mrs. Chipway How so? , "Oh, I was so afraid we would have to pay all those bills." Life. ' Cyril You may spurn me, cruel one, but remember, I shall not always be a clerk at $9 a week. Marie-r-Tbat's just the trouble.. You may lose your job at any time. Chicago News. Parent (angrily) Those "school shoes" I bought here fotf my boy did not last two weeks. Dealer (with sur prise) He must have been .wearing them out of school. Washington Life. Teacher (in spelling class) Johnny, spell "fail." Johnny I can't. Teach er You can't spell that simple word? Why not?' Johnny 'Cause you told me there was no sueh word as fail. New Yorker. Pansy (who enjoys having her moth er read to her) Wead some more, mamma. Mamma I cannot, dear; my eyes are too tired. Pansy (with fine scorn) But wead wiv oo mouf, ma. New York Times. , Is your husband up yet?" inquired the early morning caller. "I guess he is," replied the stern-looking woman, 'I'd like to say a few words to him." "So would -I.- He hasn't come home yet" Catholic Standard. Ernestine I don't see why your chaperon should have been offended because Jack played the piano. It was certainly better than lovemaking. Moyrtilla Yes, but he insisted upon playing "Always in the Way." Chi cago News. v Tom I don't see you automobiling with Miss Giddyun any more. Jack- No; I weighed her in the balance and found her wanting. Tom Wanting what? Jack Well, wanting to face the parson with me, for one thing. Chicago News. Little Johnnie When Miss Nextdoor got married, her mother threw an old slipper after her. What was that for? Little Ethel Oh, they always do that That means that her mamma isn't never going to spank her any more. Smith's Weekly. -"This servant-girl problem will make me old before my time!" "Bothers you too, does it?" "Indeed it does. If I have an ugly maid my husband is away all the time, and if I have a pretty one he is at home all the time, and I daren't go away; so there-it is." Houston Post. Mrs. Woodby You don't mean to say you paid my milliner's bill to-day! Mr. Woodby Of course. The bill reached me yesterday, and I thought the milliner -might need the money, so Mrs. Woodby Simpleton! How do you expect us to be considered real swell if we pay our bills promptly? Philadelphia Ledger. , Maude Did you read that magazine article in which a physician advocates yawning as a ifieans of stopping the disagreeable buzzing In one's ears? Clara Yes; and he is right too. tried It on young Borum the other evening after he had talked continu ously for an hour or more, and he took the hint and left Chicago Daily News. The following notice was recently found tacked on the door of x church "There will be preaching in this house a week from next Wednesday, Provi dence Dermittin', and there will be preaching whether or no on Monday following upon the subject 'He that believeth and Is baptized shall be saved ,and he that believeth not shall be damned at 330 in the afternoon.' " Clinton (Mo.) Herald. A traveling man who drove across the country to a little town in western Kansas the other day met a farmer hauling a wagon-load of water. Where do you get water?" he asked. "Up the road about seven miles," the farmer replied. "And you haul water seven miles for your family, and stock?" "Yep." "Why in the name of sense don't you dig a well?" asked the traveler. "Because it is just as far one way as the other, stranger.' Denver Republican. Mrs. Potts "was filled with nervous alarms whenever she traveled, and Mr. Potts always had his hands full trying to quiet and reassure her. "Al gernon," said Mrs. Potts, wakening her husband from a sound sleep in southern railway car. "Algernon! want you to find out why we are going at this fearful speed. The car is bump Ing and swaying till I can scarcely see out of my eyes." Mr. Potts sat up and looked out of the window at the moonlit landscape. "See that bridge ahead on the curve?" he asked, sleep ily. "Well, we have to go over that in a minute, and. probably it isn't very strong, and they want to go over with as little strain and as quickly as possible. Now go to sleep." Youth' Companion. ' Both Sides of It. Giles So you've got a place in that banking house? I suppose it was be cause you, knew the president? Har ris Partly that and partly because he didn't know me. Exchange. " The breath of suspicion is often fla mw gMSMsBasMaa Give nature three helps, and nearly every case of con sumption will recover. Fresh air, most important of. all. Cherry Pectoral Nourishing food comes next. Then, a medicine to control the cough and heal the lungs. Ask any good doctor. I first nse3 Ayer's Cherry Pectoral 5S years ago. I have seen terrible cases of Uinf? dis eases cured by it. 1 am never without it." ALU HUT J. Hamilton, Marietta, Ohio. 2Se..50c., ffl.00. J. O. ATBK OO., tvowell. Mhm. All rfrmrirrstR. for Consumption Health demands daily action of the bowels. Aid nature with Ayer's Pills. An Insinuation. DIggs I hear you have sold your restaurant Wasn't it a moneymaker? Biggs Yes; I was making $Z0 daily. Diggs Then what was your reason for disposing of it? ' Biggs Oh, I was compelled to sell it on account of poor health. Diggs Huh! . Why didnt you take your meals somewhere else? Pe-ru-na Cures and Prevents Catarrh Any one who wishes perfect health mi.c be entirely free from catarrh. Catarrh is well nigh universal;, almost omnipresent. Peruna is the only ab solute safeguard known. A -cold is the beginning of catarrh. . To prevent colds, to cure colds, is to cheat catarrh out of its victims. Peruna not only cures catarrhj but prevents it. Every household should be supplied with this great remedy for coughs, colds, and so forth. If yon do not derive prompt and sat isfactory results from the use of Peru na, write at once to Dr. Hartman, giv ing a full statement of your case and he will be pleased to give you his valu able advice gratis. Address Dr. Hartman,' President of The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, O. . Last of the Monica. When the days are cool and clear the tuberculosis patients on North Brother Island wrap themselves in the blue blankets furnished by the city and sit in the open air for a sun bath. A short time ago, says the New York Sun, the health commissioner conducted a party of peace delegates to the island. They were from Eng land, and had seen pictures of the North American Indian. ... , - How interesting!" remarked one visitor, as the boat was about to land. See how peacefully they sit. Are they the last of the Mohicans?" TO CURB A COLD IN ONE DAY Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets.. All drug gists refund tlie money If It tells to cure. . W Grove's signature is on each box. 26c To Supplement Oar Civil lation. As a result of observation and re flection during a long life touching public men and measures in wide va riety, I would' desire for my country three things above all others to sup plement ., American civilization; from Great Britain her administration of criminal justice; from Germany her theater; and from any or every Euro pean country save Russia, Spain and Turkey, its government of cities. From Andrew D. White's "Impres sions o'f the German Emporer," in the Century. When a child I had a verv severe at tack of Diphtheria, which came near prov ing fatal. Upon recovery the elands of the neck were verv much enlarged, and after the free use of iodine, the right one was reaucea to its normal size, but the left one continued to grow very slowly at first, until it was about the size of a goose egg, which began to press on the wind pipe, causing difficult breathing, and be came very painful. An incision was made and a large quantity of pus discharged. The gland was removed, or as much as could with safety be taken out. For ten years I wore a little piece of cloth about an inch lone in mv neck to keen the place open. During this time I had o have it cut open by the doctor every time I took cold or the opening clogged. In the Spring or early Summer of 1884 1 wa persuaded by my wife to use S. S. S., which I did, strictly in accordance with directions. I took twenty-six large bottles, and was en tirely cured, for I have not suffered since that time. B. S.Rgi.nd. Royal Bag Mfg. Co., Charleston, S. C Only a constitutional remedy can reach an hereditary disease like Scrofula. When the blood is restored to a normal condition and the scrofulous deposits are carried off there is a gradual return to health. S.S.S. is well known as a blood purifier and tonic. It is the n 1 y guaranteed, strictly vegetable remedysold. If you have any signs of Scrofula, write us and our physicians will advise you free The Swift Speclfio Company, Atlanta, Ga. croft F ft CORES WHCU ALL ELSE FAIL. Q lei Bait Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Jfns TTt : 111 in time. Sold by druggists. : Y I People... Killed Railroad Wrecks. I. .; A-re5ortrrcently Issued by the In- Jterstat.Commerce Commission shows that the total number of casualties to persons on railroads in the United States, "during the fiscal year ending June 30, 1904, was 55,130,' comprising 2,787 killed and "51,343 Injured. 'This .shows a large increase over any other year. It is a large total and, in com parison, may be said to be similar to the complete destruction of any one of such cities as Salt Lake City, Utah; San Antonio, Texas; Racine, Wis.; To peka, Kan.; Waterbury, Conn.; Wilkes barre, Pa., or Augusta, Ga., neither of which has anything like 53,000. inhabi tants. In both the American and Brit ish armies, Sept. 19, and Oct. 7, 11, and 12, 1777, in the series of fights and movements around Saratoga, as in cluded by E. S. Creasy, in his 'Fif teen Decisive Battles of the World," there were less than 20,000 men; while the highest total given by C. K. Adams in Johnson's "Cyclopaedia," of the kill ed, wounded, and missing ' on both sides at Waterloo, one of the greatest battles of all time, is 54,428 men not so many by 702 as last year's total of United States railroad casualties. The number of collisions, and derailments during the past year was 11,291, in volving $9,383,097 in damages to roll ing stock and roadbeds. This gives the astounding increase of 648 collisions and derailments over 1903 astounding but for. the reduction of employes, in 1904, by 75,000 Frederick Upham Adams, in Success Magazine., Millions of Vegetables. When the Editor read 10.000 plants for 16c, he could hardly believe it, but upon second reading finds that the John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis., than whom there are no more reliable and ex tensive seed growers in the world, makes this offer which is made to ftet you to test Salzer's Warranted Vegetable Seeds. Thev will send vou their Die plant and seed catalog, together with enough seed to grow I, WO line, solid Uabbages, 2,000 rich, juicy Turnips, - 2,000 blanching, nutty Celery, 2,000 rich, buttery Lettuce, 1,000 splendid Onions, 1,000 rare, luscious Radishes, 1,000 gloriously brilliant Flowers, AIX FOB BUT 16C POSTAGE, providing vou will return this notice, and u you win kuu weiu ux pusuige, tuejr will add to the above a package of fa mous Berliner Cauliflower. P. C. L. c 'ii i j l nn j il An Old Cure for Scarry. Scurvy used to be regularly treated when it was possible by burying the patients - up to their necks in fresh earth, a practice officially recommend ed in the British navy less than a cen tury ago. Twenty of the crew of" the frigate Blonde were so treated on the shore of Donna Maria Bay, Santo Do mingo. Holes were dug in the softest soil on the beach. Into each of these a man was put and buried to his chin, while a detachment of their shipmates was told off to keep the flies- from their faces. They were kept in this position for two hours, and the treat ment was so effective that four days later all the sufferers were able to re join the frigate., A GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES Itehloe - Blind, "Bleeding or Protruding Files Your druggist will refund money If PAZO OlNT MENT fails to cure you in to 14 days. SOo. How It Bejcan. Representative Hay of Virginia tells of an altercation in a colored club in Richmond that resulted in nearly all the members being haled before a police mag istrate. "You were present during this trou ble?" asked the magistrate of a wit ness. "Yes, yo honah." "Then tell us, in a few words, just how the difficulty began." "Well, yo' honah," replied the darky, with much gravity, "I think it was when the chairman of de entertainment com mittee swatted de secretary ovah de head wif de lovin' cup." Collier's Weekly. riTO Permanently Cured. No fits or nervousness I 1 10 afternrstday'suseofDr.Kline'8UreatKerve Bestorer. Send for Free S2 trial bottle and treatise. Dr. B. H. Kline, Ltd., 931 Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa. In Jail for Sneezing. As one of the good, kind ladies was walking along the tier after the church was over, saying kind words to the unfortunate sons of Adam, she stopped in front of cell 602 on the sixth floor. ' She said, "My good, kind man, what in tiae world ever put you in here?", He said, "Sneezing." ! She said, "My goodness! How in. the world could they put you in here for sneezing?" He said, "I woke the gentleman up." Cook County Jail Journal. ! Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup the best remedy to use for their children during the teething period. Across tbe Footlights. "Ha!"v exclaimed the stage heroine as the lime light was suddenly turned upon the heavy villain, "I have discovered your secret at last . Your face betrays you." "Explain your talk, woman," said the villain, as he calmly lighted a fresh cigarette. ' "Your mug looks like a Japanese war map," she replied. . "So you evidently shave yourself with a safety razor." Piso s Cure fs a reineav for coughs, colds and consumption. Try it. Price 25 cents, 1 at druggists. . . . Nobody Does. "I assure you, I'm always ' willing to acknowledge my faults when I see them." , "Thaf s all right, but TH bet you never acknowledge them when your neighbor sees them." Philadelphia Press." - ' PUTNAM Color more goods brighter and faster, colors BUdraiEeeg to aiw perrecc results. THEOLD3FOLKSrVr HOME Are Never Without Pe - ru Catarrhal Remarkable Cures Effected by Pe-ru-na Under date of January 10, 1897, Dr. Hartman received the following letter: . "My wife has been a sufferer from a complication- of diseases 'for the past twenty-five years." Her case has baffled the skill of some of the most noted phy sicians. One ' of her worst troubles was chronic constipation of several years' standing. She was also passing through that most critical period in the life of a woman change of life. in June,- jyo, l wrote to you aDout her case. You advised a course of Pe- : runa and Manalin, which we at once : commenced, and have to say it com- pletely cured her. About tne same time 1 wrote you about my own case of catarrh, which had been of twenty-five years' stand ing. At times I was almost past going. I mmmsinmA In n . your instructions and continued its use for about a year, and it has completely cured me." John O. Atkinson. Battier One-Sided. Dixmyth How do you like your new boarding house, Biff kins? Biffkins By reversing the order of things it could be made an ideal home. Dixmyth How's that? Biffkins What it requires is less hair in the butter and more in the mattress. INDIAN ARROWS, SPEARS AND PIPES wanted I will pay casffi for all good re lies ox Btone. Send outlines of what you have and get my nrices. Address H. P. HAMILTON, Two Rivers. Wisconsin. UflUTrn SALESMEN to canvass amongst the ifANILU farmers and dealers selling Fire, Water and Burglar Jfrojf Bales. Prices are within reach of everyone. Good money mak er. Have agents now making (lu.uu per day. Address . SPECIALTY SELLING CO. Portland Oregon M. J. SHIELDS & CO. Growers and Importers of All Kinds of Grass and field Seeds Dry ground, deep-rooting grass seeds thist we will guarantee to grow on ground that will not produce cereals or any other kind of grass. Will make crop of hay and pasture all seasons of the year. Address M. J. Shields & Co., Mos cow, Idaho. tiff If yon want to get the iff!l, JS!HST biggest returns for SJMfk your labor and l.?irV the standard after 49 years' test. They always produce the largest and surest crops. All oeaiers sell them. Our 190S Seed Annual DETROIT, MICH Around the Vorld ' I have used your Fish Brand Slickers for years . In the Hawaiian Islands and found them the only article that suited. I am sow In this country (Africa) and think a great . deal of your coats." (nami on application) The world-wide reputa- rtOJVT tlon of Tower's Water. 'V''4-0 proof Oiled Clothing c assures the buyer of r. ruT the positive worth of "' all garments bearing A?eu -r,2S this Sign of the Fish. 'WflBSSB" A. J. TOWER CO. Boston, U. S. A. TOWER CANADIAN CO.. LIMITED Toronto, Canada 10,000 Pknis for f6c more Karueut) ami un iuv m o pmuKcu vu aizer's oeeus tnui any uiyutrr m AmnriraL. There is reason for thin. we own over o.wu acres lor nne pro duction of our warranted need. a order to induce you to try mem, we m mate you tne xouowing unpre. i l eedentea oner: For IO Gent Postpaid VinoOKarly. Bedlam a Late I'aUMfM. 1 2000 Fine Jnley Turnips. v f 2000 Bluehlng Celery, I 2000 It leu Kuity Lettuce, JUUU Bpienoia umoai, IOOO Rare Lascloua liadlihea, 1000 eterleaaty BrlMtiat Flower. Above seven tackaires contain mrA- I dent seed to grow 10.000 plants, far- msmngr Dnsnei or Driiiianv I Bower ana iota ana loraoi cuoice vegr eiAbles, together with our great ca.tr j. veiling ail aoomriowers, not s, Dinaii jvtuiss, etc, aii iur - , am in stamps and tnts nonce i nig iw-page catalog iooe, to. JOHN A. SALZER SEED C0r F.C.L. La Crosse, Wis SEEDS free on request. ' ' i.fjl . M. Ferry & Co.V Ws7 1LW f 1. D ITT I 13 1 1 1 II Hi II H I I MM FAD E L. ESS DYES than any other dye On 1 A narkViMr frlfm TIP - na in the Home for Diseases. MRhnd MRS.. Minn. In a letter dated January 1, 1900, Mr. Atkinson says, after five years' ex perience with Peruna: . "I will ever continue to speak a good word for Peruna. I em still cured- of ca tarrh." John O. Atkinson, Independence, Mo., Box 272. Mrs. Alia Schwandt, Sanborn,dinn., writes : "I have been troubled with rheumatism and catarrh for twenty-five years. Could I not sleep day cr night. After having used Peruna I can sleep and nothing bothers me nnw it , am affp,tprf with anv kind of sickness, Peruna will be the medicine I shall use. My son wes cured of catarrh of the larnyx by Peruna.!' Mrs. Alia Schwandt When old age comes, catarrhal dis- eases come also. Systemic catarrh is almost universal in old people. Addreas Dr. S. B. Hartman, Presi- UCllb UX UC U.l OU.U1U11 1U111, VAJ- inmbus, Ohio, who will be pleased to Slve Jon ne benefit fo his medical ad- vice gatis. OREGON PORTLAND ST. HELEN'S HALL A GIKL'S SCHOOL OF THE HIGHEST CLASS corps of teachers, location, build in? equipment the besL Send for cat alogue. Term Opens September IS, 190-4 THE NEW ECONOMICAL IRRIGATOR Phillips Hydraulic NO COST OF OPERATION Write today lor free illustrated booxleu COLUMBIA ENGINEERING WORKS 10th and Johnson streets, Portland, Ore. Clean Your Grain FOR SEED The CHATHAM FANNING MILL, with Sacking attachment, will clean and grade all kinds of Grain and Seeds. The only machine -that has screens and riddles made especially-for cleaning grain on the Coast. To convince you that this Grain Cleaner is as represented I will send you one on 30 days' free trial and will pay the freight, Write me for our Descriptive Cat alogue and "on time" proposition it will interest you. GEO. W. fOOTT Dept. 1 1 Portland, Oregon P. N. U. No. 91905 HEN writing to adTertiaera pleat I wauuoa tnu paper mitt, ! ft.. h if cloths and all. . ,v , . vored with ClOVea ' : oteacn and mix colors