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About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 3, 1905)
Sarsaparflla is unquestiona
bly the greatest blood and
liver medicine known. It
positively and permanently
cores every humor, from
Pimples to Scrofula. It is
lost at tbs Last Place.
The absent-minded man and his um
brella continue to promote the gaiety
of nations. They figure entertainingly
in an article in a German magazine
on Prof. Max von Pettenkofer, who
has been called the founder of scien
The professor's, absent-mindedness
had no narrow or restricted range; It
covered everything; but umbrellas
seemed to be his specialty. He lost
a fortune in umbrellas, for he seldom
came back with what he had taken
Once, however, he made a trip as
tar as England, and was very proud of
having actually succeeded in bringing
back his umbrella to Germany. At
Augsburg he stopped on business, but
sent a telegram saying:
"At 6 o'clock I return with my um
brella." He did return at 6 o'clock, but as he
entered his house at Munich he saw
to bis dismay that he had no umbrella.
He had left it at the telegraph office. .
A GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES
Itrhlotf Blind, Bleeding or Protrudln? Piles
Voor druggist will refund money If PAZO OIX T
UST fails to cure yoa in 6 ta 14 days. sue.
A London paper quotes a shopgirl
as saying that the Englishwoman can
generally be persuaded to take this
or that, whether she wants it or not,
and that she does not often see that
she gets value for her money. The
English are also courteous and consid
erate. It appears that Americans, on
the other hand, give the greatest trou
ble of all. They are afraid of being
cheated, they want to make sure be
fore they buy that they could not get
the same thing for less money else
where, and they are never courteous.
As shoppers it is Frenchwomen, how
ever, who command tjie greatest ad
miration, we are told. They always
know exactly what they want and
will take nothing else.
Bullions In Oats.
Salzer's New National Oata yielded in
Mich., 240 bu in Mo., 255 bu., in N. D.,
31 bu., and in 30 other states from 150
to 300 bu! per acre. Now this Oat if gen
erally grown in 1905, will add millions of
bushek to the yield and millions of dol
lars to the farmer's purse!
Homebuilder Yellow Dent Corn grows
Eke a weed and yields from 157 to 260
bushels and more per acre! It's the big
gest yielder on earth!
Salzer's Speltz, Beardless Barley, Maca
roni Wheat, Pea Oat, Billion Dollar Grass
and Earliest Cane are money makers for
you, Mr. Farmer.
JUST SED THIS TTOTICE A "NT) lOO
in stamps to John A. Salzer Seed Co., La
Crosse, Wis., and receive their bipt catalog
and lots of farm seed samples. P. C Lu
Fashionable Physician You will have
to give up city life, Mr. Million.
Wealthy Patient I will travel in Eu
rope a few years, if you say so.
Physician It would be better for you
t stay here and conduct a model farm.
Wealthy Patient Oh, I can't afford
Hard luck has been the fate of the
Emperor of Austria from the beginning
f his reign. In every battle he has
fought he has been defeated, his wife
was assassinated, and his eldest son clos
ed his career with suicide.
Wheeling, W. Va., May 28, 1903.
Some years ago while at work, I fell
over a truck and severely injured both
of my shins., My blood became poisoned
as a result, and the doctor told me I
would have running sores for life, and
that if they were healed up the result
would be fatal. Tinder this discouraging
report I left off their treatment and re
sorted to the use of S. S. S. Its effects
were prompt and gratifying. It. took
only a short while for the medicine to en
tirely cure np the sores, and I am not
dead as the doctors intimated, nor have
the sores ever broke out again. Some 12
years have elapsed since what I have de
scribed occurred. Having been so signally
benefitted by its use I can heartily recom
mend it as the one great blood purifier.
John W. Fundis,
Care Schmulback Brewing Co.
Chronic sores start often from a pim
ple, scratch, bruise or boil, and while
' salves, washes and powders are beneficial,
the unhealthy matter in the blood must
be driven out or the sore will continue
to eat and spread. S. S. S. reaches
these old sores through the blood, re
moves all impurities and poisons, builds
up the entire system and strengthens
the circulation. S. S. S. is a blood
purifier and tonic combined. Contains
no mineral what
ever but is guaran
teed purely veget
able. If you have
an old sore write
us and ouf physi
cians will advise
Cook on diseases
of the Blood free.
The Swift Specific Company, Atlanta, 6a.
CURES WHttt ALL ELSE FAILS. TT1
Coocd gyrap. Taste Good..
in lime. eota or arafneute. '
She Are you sure you love me for
myself alone? He Did, you think I
loved you for your mother? Somer
"Mr. and Mrs. Nubride have joined
the church." "Why not? Turn about's
fair play; didn't the church join them?"
Lady Did you ever feel a3 though
you'd like to work? Tramp Tes'm.
I wouldn't mind being lineman for a
wireless telegraph company. Judge.
"Brainleigh tells me he is writing
a popular novel." "Yes, his doctors
insisted on his resting his mind for
a while!" New Orleans Times-Democrat.
He Got It: The Woman No, I can't
give you a meal. The Tramp I didn't
think you could, mum; you look too
young and inexperienced to know how
to codk. New York Sun.
Church I see the Attorney General
is going to stop all this guessing busi
ness in the newspapers. Gotham
Whom do you suppose that's aimed
at? The weather bureau? Yonkers
-Lucky Stars: "I've had a very suc
cessful season," said the prosperous-
looking . theatrical manager. "Well,
you can thank your stars for that," re
plied the seedy-looking manager.
He Do you remember your old
school friend, Sophy Smythe? She
Yes, indeed, I do. A most absurd-looking
thing. So silly, too! What became
Of her? He Oh, nothing. Only I
married her. Boston Globe.
Mamma Fighting again, Willie?
Didn't I tell you to stop and count
one hundred whenever you were an
gry? Willie But it didn't do any
good, ma. Look what the Jones boy
did while I counted! Harper's Bazar.
Cholly So Miss Tartum loosened up
and said a good word about me, did
she? Archie Yes; she said that when
one got better acquainted with you
one found von were not half as big
a fool as you appeared to be. Chicago
One Advantage: Rimer Do you
really prefer to have long poems sent
in to you rather than short ones? Edi
tor Yes. When they're long, you see,
I don't have to think up any other
excuse for rejecting them. Philadel
phia Press. " -x
"I don't believe the woman who re
cently moved into the flat across the
hall is any better than she should be,"
remarked Mrs. Naggsby. "Of course
not, my dear," rejoined Naggsby; "who
ever heard of a woman that was?"
St Louis Star.
Miss Plane Yes, Tom proposed last
night, and I accepted him. See this
ring Miss Wise Indeed? By the
way, dear, don't attempt to cut glass
with that diamond, as I did, or you'll
make another nick in the stone. Phil
The Child Aunt Mary, nurse says
when it thunders, it's the Lord scoldin
us. Aunt Mary Perhaps it is, dear.
The Child Well, I don't see what he's
got to be so mad about I'se done
every fing to-day 'cept brush my teef.
Brooklyn Life. ,
Wife Henry, what makes you in
such a furious temper . Husband I'm
trying to read a Scotch dialect story.
The plot is fearfully exciting, but I
can't hurdle over the language fast
enough to keep up with the hero!
Detroit Free Press.
Rural Adorer (bashfully) You didn't
go to Millie Meadow's party. Don't
you like kissin' games? Pretty Maid
No, I don't Rural Adorer (weakly)
Why don't you? Pretty Maid (encour
agingly) 'Cause there's so many look
In' on. New York Weekly.
He (reading about the latest society
wedding) They have a lot to say
about what the bride wears, but they
have nothing to aafy about the ' poor
bridegroom. She They have no need
to. because it is a well-known fact
that he usually wears a worried look.
Boston Globe. t
Madame (in a busy street in Paris)
Oh, M. 1' Agent, is it true that it is
dangerous to stand with the foot on
the electric tramline? M. 1' Agent No,
madame, it is not dangerous so long
as you do not stand with one foot on
the line and the other on the overhead
wire. Pick Me Up.
-. Miss Flyrty Jack Hansom was tell
ing me about a romantic adventure he
had at the party last night. It seems
he bumped into a girl in a dark hall
way and kissed her; and he doesn't
know yet Miss Elders Oh! tee-
hee! That was I. Miss Flyrty What?
Oh, for goodness sake, don't tell him
now. Let him have his romance.
Miss Hoamley Didn't you hear Miss
Knox tell me yesterday that I was "the
homeliest girl in our set?" Miss Good-
ley xes, tne naterui tning! i .gave
her a piece of my mind about it after
ward. Miss Hoamley Oh! did you? I
hope you weren't too hard on her. .Miss
Goodley Well, I told her she ought to
consider how sensitive ' you must be
about it Philadelphia Ledger.
Perfectly , Congenial:- Naggsby
When a man and his wife think the
same thoughts simultaneously, it is-a
sign that they are exceedingly congen
ial. Waggsby So? Well, then, my
wife and I are congenial all right, for
the other night, when she said that
she wondered why I'd ever been such
a fool as to marry her, I had been
sitting there in silence for half an hour
wondering over the name identical
thing. Baltimore American.
It takes a college graduate about 20
ears to learn bow little he knows, '
" ' fHIBIBaiiaE,al'lKa,oainBliaBMMIiaa"'8
U4 iiprs i
For coughs, colds, bronchitis,
asthma, weak throits, weak
lungs, consumption, take
Ayer's Cherry Pectoral.
Always keep a bottle of it in
the house. We have been
saying this for 60 years, and
so have the doctors.
" I hare used A Tar's Cherry Pectoral In my
family for 40 yean. It Is the best medicine
in the world, I know, tor all throat and lung
troubles." ' .... .
Mas. J. K. BOBCB0S8, Waltham, Mass.
ds 4A CI M - J. O. ATBBCO.
All drmreit. r Iwell. Mass.
Daily action of the bowels is neces-
sary. Ala nature wun Ayer s rm
A Wish. Easily Gratified.
They were spending the- autumn in
the Pennsylvania mountains, and a
shooting -expedition had heen planned
for the next day. The talk naturally
turned on . the prospects for various
sorts of game. ".' '
"We miss the spice of danger that
gives zest to hunting in the Far West,"
one of the younger: members of the
party began, a little pompously.
"Ah,, ant it is danger wit your sport
you like?" earnestly returned the oM
German farmer, who was to act as
guide. "Den you keeps close by me,
sir. De last time I have sport I
shoots mine bruder-in-law in de leg. I
gladly takes yon unter .mine own
wing," he concluded, in all seriousness.
How's This? .
We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for
any case 01 tjatarrn mat cannot De curea oy
Hall's Catarrh Cure.
F. J. U-tUSN-EX -uu., .rTops.,Toieao, u.
We, tne nnaersignea, nave Jtnc
Down r . J.
Cheney for the last 15 years, and believe him
periectiy nonornDie in an Dusiness transac
tions and financially able to carry out any ob
ligations made by their hrm.
w est c. 1BU ax, w noiesaie uruggists, x oieao, v.
Walding, Kinnan & Marvin, VV holesale Drug
gists, Toledo, O.
Hall's Catarrh Core is taken internally, act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. Price 76c per bottle.
Bold by all Druggists. Testimonials free.
Hall's Family Fills are the best.
A TTntversity Fund.
President Hadley of Tale University
recently established a fund of $1,000,
being the money received by him for
giving the Dodge lectures at Yale last
year, less certain expenses. This fund
if to be held by the treasurer of Yale
under the condition that it may be
drawn upon for university uses at the
discretion of the president, says the
New York Tribune. It is planned by
the president to add to this amount
any sums he max receive from, the
university while president for deliver
ing lectures or for other services over
and above his regular salary.
Piso's Cure Is a good cough .medicine.
It has cured coughs and colds for forty
years. At druggists, 25 cents.
. . - v .
Still Able to Attend to Business.
"I told Uncle Simon that he was get
ting too old and feeble to attend to busi
ness." "Did he take it kindly?"
"He threw me out of his office." Van
TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All drne-
gisis retnud tne money If It sails to cure.
Orove'a signature Is on each box. Sc. ,
A Yacht for Sale.
"What kind of sail are you going to
use on your yacht next year?" asked the
"Sheriff's, I guess," replied the owner,
who had just looked over the steward's
accounts. Cincinnati Commercial-Tribune.
. , - -.-..;
Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Soothing;
Syrup the best remedy to use for their children
during the teething period.
First Workingman Look at the ine
auality. Mr. Million, who lives not ten
squares from this corner, has a dog house
which cost $5,000. What do you think
Second Workingman I think it's a
good thing he wanted it, for I built it
for hinv and made $1,000 out of it
CITO Permanently Cored. No fits or nervousness
f 1 1 0 after first day's use of Dr.Kline's Great Nerve
Restorer. Send for Free S trial bottleand treatise.
Xr. K.H. Kline, Ltd., 831 Arch st, Philadelphia, Pa.
The Chicago board of health asserts
that a large percentage of sufferers from
5rigut 8 disease are those who indulge
in what is called high living. People
who live on plain food and lead temper
ate lives rarely have the disease.
As might be expected, those who live
In fastnesses have a slim diet '
INDIAN ARROWS, SPEARS AND
PIPESwanted I will pay cash
for all good relics of stone. Send
outlines of what you have and get
H. P. HAMILTON. Two Rivers, Wisconsin.
LAN D SCRI P FOR SALE
' ForestfreseWe script' for securing, title
1TI ATI V miflTltitV tn forminn . .rrrani-rxrv
desert or timber ls.nd without residence. - I
et prices. H. M. HAMILTON,
Tha Portland, Portland, On
, are known by what they have
. grown., For half a century they
have been the standard haven't -
lauea once Bo nmriura Hnw. hefc.
. tr. arops than any others. Sold
by all dealers. ISOS Heed An-
- , free ,to all appl tuanta. .
P.f. FERRY A CO..
MAN'S NASAL ORGAN.
Borne. Curiona Facta and Instances
About Senses of Taste and Smell.
Scientists' and travelers tell us that
i one of the first changes that occur In
a man who lives an absolutely natural
life for a few months is an extraordi
nary Intensification of the sense of
Describing his meeting with Mr.
Jackson in the wilds of Franz Josef
Land, Dr. Nansen tells how he' first
discovered his nearness to the English
explorer by the scent of a fragment of
soap which the latter had used that
morning. " His companion, Johansen,
noticed the scent also. "As I approach
ed Jackson's hut," says the great Swed
ish explorer, "I thought I could smell
everything it contained and" give a;
, sort of inventory of its stores without
But even then the doctor's sense of
8m ell could not be compared with that
: of the real savage. .The Peruvian In
j dians, walking at night in the darkness
, of the thick forests which line he low
er spurs of the Andes, can distinguish,
respectively, by the smell, alone, be-
tween a white man, a negro or one of
their own race.
Few people realize how very closely
connected are the senses of taste and
smell. ' Many of the substances, which
we say taste good are not tasted at all,
but gratify ts by their, -appeal to the
sense of 'smell.-' All ineats,: iind: fruits,
for instance, are smelt rather than
tasted. This is easily proved' by the
fact that a bad-, cold almost destroys
our appreciation of any of these classes
of foods or drinks. On the other hand,
however bad a cold one may-be afflict
d with, one does not lose one's taste
for sugar, salt or quinine. These sub
stances have no smell, but appeal
directly to the sense of taste.
If one of them be placed on the
tongue the sensation of sweetness, salt-.
Iness or bitterness is at once experi
enced. It is, however, worth noting
that all these substances must be dis
solved in water, or by the moisture of
the mouth, before they give any sen
sation of taste.
If you put a grain or two of sugar
Into your mouth and allow it to dis-
solve slowly its taste is only faintly,
perceptible. If, on the contrary, you
rub the dissolving sugar into the palate
by moving the tongue the taste is
greatly intensified. Sugar appeals to
the mucous membrane of a large .por
tion of the mouth, as also does salt.
This Is why one smacks one's lips in
endeavoring to fully appreciate a novel
taste. , .
Just as different parts of our brain
are the seats of various mental pow-.
ers, so various portions of the mouth
receive different kinds of tastes. Sugar
and kindred substances, and also pure
ly acid foods or drinks appeal to the.
tip of the tongue and the front part of
Smell is a far more delicate sense
than taste. As already mentioned, most
substances must be moistened before,
appealing to taste. But in order to
smell a substance it must be in the
form of vapor. If eau de cologne be
poured into the nose it gives rise to no
sense of odor whatsoever. Yet we all
know how powerful is the sensation of
smell produced when the little parti
cles constantly disengaging themselves
from its surface are borne by the air
;to the olfactory nerves. The i.ose is
; fitted to perceive sensations from par
! tides of almost inconceivable sniall
ness. - - - -
A single grain of musk will scent a
room for years, and as this result can
only he. produced by continual loss of
particles of its substances these par
ticles must be tiny' beyond the reach
The smelling region of the nose lies
tn its upper part The nose has three
regions, and it is in the third that the
seat of the sense is concentrated. The
mucous membrane of the nose at this
point la much thicker than below and
is not red, but colored with a brown
Men are possessed of more, acute
powers of smell than women.1 Experi
ments to prove this were made by
Profs. Nicholls and Browne. Three of
the men could detect prussic" acid in
a solution composed of 2,000,000 parts
of water and one of acid, but not one
of the women could detect the scent
of the prussic acid when the solution
was weaker than the one part in 20,000
of water. v 1
Got Beyond That
One of the principal stockholders in
a promising gold-mine was expatiating
on Its merits to a capitalist, and pros
pective investor. He described the vein
in which the miners were working.
showed him specimens of the ore, and
backed up his statements with the
written opinions of experts. ,
'.'Well," admitted the capitalist, "ft
looks as if it might be a good invest
ment" As my old Uncle Hiram would
' say, it has 'p'ints.' "
, - "Pints?" exclaimed the' stockholder,
carried away f'perhaps by. his . over
anriety. "Why, sir, we're in quartz
.right now,!"-.-x - ;
. One View of Wedlock.
! :. An .Englishwoman, .had- had ' a good
deal of trouble with, her husband who,
-according to -her . Account, was; a mon
eter of Iniquity. Some one asked why;
she had nfarried a. person of such char
acter. "Wellyoti' see, .he ain't ihy,
first' - was tne repiy. .". was pertlck
ler about my . first - This here's "my " sec
ond, and a bad un at that But there".
rwith a. shrug 'of the shoulders "he's
a shade better than the work'us!"
, , ;
Absolutely Prohibitive. - '
Wyzaker My dear young, friend,
yoa should never speak, until after you
. have thought twice. ;
. Thoughtless ' ' , Theodore -i- What'
Would you deprive" me forever from
the privilege of .speech? Baltimore
American. ; r "
GOL. BECKW1TH SAYSg
I Take Pleasure in Commending Pe-ru-na
Fop Coughs and Colds."
IN FIELD OR BARRACKS
PE-RU-NA IS EFFICACIOUS.
The constant exposure to the elements
experienced in an out-door life is not so
apt to cause coughs and colds as seden
Those who are brought face to face
vrith the weather every day in active
life are much less liable to catarrhal
diseases than' those who are boused np
In illy ventilated
rooms. And yet both
of these classes are
more or less subject
to catarrh and ca
ARE SUBJECT TO
Tne soldier as well as the civilian finds
it frequently necessary to use Peruna
on account of coughs and colds.
No one is exempt. The strong and
healthy are less liable than the weak
and His but none entirely escape.
ST. HELEN'S HALL
A GIRL'S SCHOOL OF THE HIGHEST
CLASS corps of teachers, location, build
ing equipment the best. Send for cat
Term Opens September 1S,1904
Positive, Comparative, Superlative
"I have used one of your Fish Brand
8lickers for five years and now want
new one, also one for a friend. I
would not be without one for twice
the cost. They are Just as far ahead
of a common coat as -a common one
Is ahead of nothing.".
(NAME ON APPLICATION)
Be sure you don't get one of the com.
mon kind this Is the wuirpf
mark of excellence. P"-K5
A .1 Tnuuro rr
BOSTON. U. S. A. 'nBRW
TOWER CANADIAN CO, LIMITED
Maker of Wet Weather Clothing and Hats
NO COST OF OPERATION '
Write today for free illustrated booklet.
COLUMBIA ENGINEERING WORKS
luth anvi JobasOD street Portland, Ore,
COL. PAUL E. BECKWITH. , - : .. . . .. '
Colonel Paul E. Beckwith, Lt Col., retired, 1st Beg. Minute Men, in a letter 1 !
i', from 1508 Vermont avenue, N. W., Washington, D. c., writes :
!; "From the unqualified endorsement of many of my friends, I '
take pleasure in commending your remedies for coughs and
colds." Paul E. Beckwith.
- M fL. 1
Peruna has always been a great
favorite with the military men, both tn
the army and' navy.
The strongest kind of testimonials are
received from officers of high rank con
cerning the virtues of Peruna for all
Only a small per cent of these can be
used for publication for want of space.
Mr. Harrison L. Deam, Burnsido Post
TSo. 8, Department of the Potomac,
Colonel Encampment No. 69, Union
Veterans Iiegion, Colonel Green Clay
Smith BegimentNo.l7,U. V.U., Depart
ment ox toe .rotomac, military uraer
Loyal Legion, Department of Columbia,
Major 81th Indiana Veteran Volunteer
''There is no longer any question aa
to the curative qualifies of Peruna la
all catarrhal troubles. Its successful
use by many ot my friends -entitles ii
to confidence and endorsement " Q
, National Oafs
Greatest oat of the oentnrr.
231. in Mo. 255, and in il. Dakota
810 bus. per acre.
You can beat that record in 1905.
, For 10c and this notice
. we mall yon free lota of farm seed
samples ana oar Dig catalog, tell
ing ail aoout tn is oat wonder ana
inoaeanas 01 otner seeas.
10HN A. SALZER SEED CO. .
Clean Your Grain
The CHATHAM FANNING
MILL, with Sacking attachment,
will clean and grade all kinds of
Grain and Seeds. The only machine
that has screens and riddles made
especially for cleaning grain on the
Coast. To convince you that this
Grain Cleaner is as represented I will
send you one on 30 days' free trial
and will pay, the freight.
Write me for oiir Descriptive Cat
alogue and "otttimtf.. proposition
it will interest yoa.
GEO. W. fOOTT
! TTTHKN -vrrltlnB to advertisers pleasTT
I Tt. .mention tbis paper. . I
mills High Grade
W -: r ,
The A. H Averill Machinery Co.
" PORTLAND, J OREGON.
Write lev Catalogue end Prices. '"