Corvallis gazette., January 13, 1905, Image 7

Economy
.. 'it.
Is a strong point with
Hood's Sarsaparilla. A
bottle lasts longer and does
more good than any other.
It b the only medicine of
which can truly be said
100 DOSES ONE DOLLAR
y Bad Memories.
Many people complain at baring a
bad memory, as if it were ometbing
they could not help, like a headache,
or some similar ailment; yet eren that
can be helped nowadays by the appli
cation of a little common sense. After
all, there is no reason why anybody
bould have a bad memory. It is mere
ly a matter of training and is, more
over, a matter in which it is never too
late to attend to its training. For
grown-ups many methods are advo
cated, all of them, no doubt, based on
the principle of mental concentration.
In a young child the faculty can be
cultivated by making the child de
scribe everything it has seen in its
morning walk, taking care that no fact
Is exaggerated, but that strict atten
tion is paid to truth in every detail.
In the matter of memorizing it is an
excellent plan to let the child learn
one line f poetry a day, which it
should repeat the following morning,
and at the end of a week it will be
able to say the seven lines. The young
brain should not be overloaded with
knowledge, but allowed to assimilate
a fragment each day.
Are Visiting til at Too Long?
Mrs. De Fashion (average society lady
making her round of calls owing to av
wage society friends) Is Mrs. Wjgeins-
an Mortlande at homer
Servant No, madam, she's
Mrs. De Fashion Please hand her my
card when she returns. .
Servant She won't . return, madam.
Eh was buried a month ago.
The Water Clock.
About ISO B. C there was a water
clock in use in Italy, Greece and Egypt.
The water escaped from a jar and fell
into a receptacle beneath, in which float
ed a email ear, which, by its rising on
the water, painted -out the hours.
A great deal of sympathy is given
preacher because he doesn't always get
his salary. Transfer it to his wife, who
works twice as hard, and is not suppos
ed to get anything but board and clothes,
and a chance to praise the Lord.
A New. Jersey woman thinks she is
entitled to two pensions because she is
the widow of one soldier and the grass
widow of another.
Of course, no girl really wants to mar-
ty. She only yields to some poor man's
solicitations to help make his life misera
ble because she feels sorry for him.
The banana is a perfect food. Weight
for weight it is claimed to be as nutri
tious as the beefsteak.
If there is a crime of deeper dye than
all the guilty train of human vices, it is
ingratitude. Brooke. -
Our first impulses are good, generous,
heroical: reflection weakens and kills
them. I A.. Martin.
Ibsen declares that he wonld rather
remain a beggar all his life than accept
a pension.
There are many trusts in this country,
but the poor man is expected to come up
with the cash just the same. ,-
Chaperon is but another name for
matrimonial promoter.
Jfivery mother has the secret hope that
her daughter will be such a perfect lady
she will never chew gum.
Occasionally we see a man who looks
as if he had tried to preserve bis dignity
In alcohol.
The average statistical table is about
as reliable as the average hunting or
fishing story.
I am compelled by a sense of gratitude
to tell you the great good your remedy
has done me in a case of Contagious Blood
Poison. Among other symptoms I was se
verely afflicted witn Rheumatism, and got
almost past going. The disease got a firm
hold upon my system; my blood was thor
oughly poisoned with the virus. I lost in
weieht. was run down, had sore throat.
eruptions, splotches and other evidences
of the disease. I was truly in a bad shape
when I began the use of S. S. S., but the
persistent use of it brought me out of my
trouble safe and sound, and I have the
courage to publicly testify to the virtues of
your great blood remedy, S. S. S., and to
recommend it to all blood-poison suffer
ers, sincerely believing if it is taken ac
cording to directions, and given a fair
. - 1 : L A, - , 1 1 .1 L -
. cij it wlu UQiouguij ciirmnaic eveiy
parucie ox me virus. iaiu i.uui
Stark Hotel, Greensburg, Fa.
Painful swellings in the groins, red erup
tions upon the skin, sores in the month
and loss of hair and eyebrows, are some of
the symptoms of this vile disease. S. 8. S.
' la an antidote for the awful virus that
attacks and destreva even the bones.
8. S. S. ' contains Mercury, Potash or
other mineral inerredieat. We offer il.oob
M MA L ill i ' .
sor proof mat u is not arasoiuieiy vcgci
anie. nome treat
meat book giving
the symptoms and
other interesting
and valuable infer
station about this
discaar, mailed
free. Our
pbYBV
dans advise free
those who writeus.
Tho Swift SpeolSa
Atlanta, 4,
f Humorous
t
Ella What nice hair Bella baa. Stel
la Well, a woman is a fool to buy an
Inferior article Tewn Topics.
The Lady That isn't the same story
you told me before. The Beggar No,
lady; you didn't believe the other one.
-Ex
He Can't we Just quietly separata
without getting a formal divorce? She
But I'm already engaged te another.
Life.
Is your wife economical T" "Very.
She can fix over a ten-dallar hat for
$15 to It will look Just as good as a
new one."' Puck.
Big Brother Now, Willie, yon must
give me the larger half of the apple,
because mamma says we mustn't be
greedy. Harper's Bazaar.
How are you making out in writing
for the magazines?" "Just holding my
own. Tbey send me Dack as mucn as
send them." Detroit Free Press.
Uncle Josh 'Moat every official that
amounts to anything has to file an an
nual report. Uncle Hiram Yes; an' 1
guess that's about all some of 'em do.
-Pock.
Tourist I say, guide, what does that
memorial stoni commemorate? Guide
I put it there.. It was upon that spot
tourist once gave me five francs.
Tit-Bits.
Meekly Yes, we're going to move to
Swamphurst Doctor But the climate
there may disagree with your wife.
Meekly It wouldn't dare! Philadel
phia Press.
Nell Mr. Krammerer is so kind. He
said I took a very pretty and very ar
tistic picture. Bell Indeed? And
whose picture did you take, dear?
Philadelphia Ledger.
Lady Very healthy .place, is it?
Have you any idea what" the death
rate is here? Caretaker Well, mum,
cant 'zactly say; but it's about one
apiece all round. Punch.
Mrs. Smith I'd like to sell you
ticket, sir. We're getting up a raffle
for a poor sailor. Mr. Krusty Not to
me. I wouldn't know what to do with
a sailor XX 1 won mm. tax.
"Most divorces are caused by a very
common mistake." "What is ltr
"Many a man hi love only with a dim
ple er a curl makes the mistake of mar
rying the whole girl." Life.
Clarinda Aren't you allowed to
keep a dog in your new flat? Florinda
No, we had to give Fido away; but
Jack had his dear little bark put in
our phonograph. Journal Amusant.
Ida -Are they really so rich? May
I should say so. When they slipped
several spoons and saucers into their
grips the hotel clerk said it was mere
ly the souvenir hobby. Chicago News.
"Heavens!" exclaimed the first moth,
'here's a fine prospect of starving to
death!" "How so?" inquired the oth
er one. "There's nothing in this box
we'-re locked up in but a bathing-suit
Ex.
Miss Passay You may sneer at pet
dogs, but they're faithful, anyway.
I'd rather kiss a good dog than some
men. Mr. Sharpe Well, well, some
men are born lucky. Philadelphia
Ledger.
Edith Is it true. Dolly, that Larkin
kissed you before he picked you up in
that runaway? Dolly Yes, dear; you
know he is studying - to be a doctor,
and that was first aid to the injured,
Chicago Record-Herald.
Photographer I would suggest that
you relax the features a little and as
sume a more pleasing expression. Mrs.
Vick-Senn I suppose I can do it if you
insist, but I can tell you right now it
won't look like me. Chicago Tribune.
"What," asked the female-suffrage
advocate with the square chin, "has
become of our manly men?" "Some
of them," replied the meek and lowly
citizen, "have married womanly worn
en, and are now engaged in raising
childish children." Chicago News.
Uncle George I have read your arti
cle over, and I must say it shows a.
great deal of originality. Arthur
Thanks, I'm suref I flattered myself
there were some ideas in It Uncle
George I was not speaking of the
composition, but of the spelling.
Boston Transcript.
It was on the old camp ground.
"Pass de hat," suggested - Bruddah
Wheatly. But the parson raised his
hand. "No, sab," he shouted, "dere'll
be no hats about it. Pass a tin box
wid a chain to it De last time a bat
was passed around heah it nevah came
back, and I had to go home barehead
ed." Chicago News.
"I must have a new gown and coat
at once." "Great thunderation, wom
an, how can you ask for a . gown and
coat when you have to testify in my
bankruptcy hearing next week?"
simply have to have them. Do you
think I can face the people In. the
courtroom when. I am wearing my old
clothes?" Indianapolis Sun. .
Fond Mother You. will be 5 years
old to-morrow-, Willie, and I want to
give yen a . real; birthday treat. Tell
me what you would like better than
anything else. Willie (after thinking
earaesly far five minutes) Bring me
whole box of chocolate creams, moth
er, and ask Tommy Smith to come in
and watch ate eat 'em. Youth.
.; Mr. Uggy Don't yen remember,
dear, wnen yeur iatner roroade me
the house? Mra. Uggy Yes, and when
mother wouldn't let , me -out of. her
sight for a moment? Mr. Uggy And
I made up my mind to go off and die?
Mra. Uggy Yes, and I scared father
Into thinking I was in a decline? Both
Together Weren't those happy days?
' limits.
Myers
Don't try cheap cough medi
cines. Get the best, Ayer's
Cherry Pectoral. What a
record it has, sixty years of
Cherry
Pectoral
cures! Ask your doctor if
he doesn't use It for coughs,
colds, bronchitis, and all
throat and lung troubles.
I have found that Ayer's Cherry Pectoral
1 the best medicine I can prescribe for bron
chitis, influenza, coughs, and hard colds.
, M. Lodkmah, !., Ithaca. N. T.
3Se.,S&,f,.(M.
All drnfnrists.
J. O. ATXR CO
Trowel. Mass.
for -i
Bronchitis
Correct anv tendencv to const i Da
tion with small doses of Ayer's Pills.
Both iAughed.
How a railway porter gave a Roland
for a passenger's .Oliver is related in
the following tale: '
A few weeks ago," he says, "a gen
tleman came up to me on the arrival of
an express, and said he had changed
at such-and-such" a junction, and he
could not find his luggage in the van.
'That's all right, sir,' I said; "the
train divides into two halves at the
junction. You've "come on by the first
half; your luggage will come on by
the second.' I've known many a case,
"You're wrong, porter," said the
traveler; "it was not a case, it. was a
portmanteau."
'And," added the porter, "he went
away with a grin which made me fair
ly mad. In a quarter of an hour or so,
though," he continued, "the gentleman
came back, and said to me:
'Porter, how long will that second
train of yours be?"
' 'Twelve coaches and. an engine,'
replied. . '
'We both laughed that time."
Everyday Swindlers.
"There it goes again," said the trol
ley conductor as be rang the Tell to
let off a passenger who had only rid
den for a square.
"You'd be astonished," : continued
the knight of the bell strap, "to know
how many people try to beat the trol
ley for a free ride when they want to
make a call a square or two away
from home.
"They hop on the car, wait till it
has started and then want to know if
the car doesn't go to some place which
they know it doesn't come within a
mile of. In this way they get their
ride for nothing and go on their way
in the belief that they have fooled the
conductor." Philadelphia Press. -'- '
Sign or the Tbree 'Balls.
The three balls used by pawnbrokers
are the symbol of St. Nicholas. There is.
a. legend to the effect that the saint once
offered three purses of gold to three
women to enable 'them to marry. The
purses of those days were small bags,
which when tied at the top to keep in the
coins somewhat resembled balls. '
f akS
oeeds
are known by what they hava
Bnjwu. ror nair a century tney
have been the standard haven't
railed once to Droduce biczer. bet
ter crops than anv others. Sold
by all dealers. 1905 Seed An- '
Hal free to all applicants.
D. M.FERRY fc CO..
Detroit, Mich.
mm
M5M5 FAIL IN ADRY TIME
MM OF Wt ISA NEVER JAILS
i IN A WTTIMr .
Ill ri Haw a ill iwi
WHY DON'T YOU WEAR
BLACK (A YELLOW
AND KSEP PRY?
BEWARE OF IMITATIONS. 100H f OR A60V6 TRADE MARK.
Catalogues gres Miowmgsmi jiDai Uiu-meau sad Msls
A. J. TOWER CO.. Boston, Mass., TJ, S. A.
TOWER CAJTAJIAK CO.. Ltd.. Toronto. Can.
For the. Study of
' BOOKKEEPING
- OR
. . . SHORTHAND
: , is important. "We
can show results,
for every one of
our graduates are
'. employed. .
Write for our Catalogue '
HOLHESBUSINESS COLLEGE
T. H. C A. Bid;. PORTLAND, ORE.
7tl . (IRES HEM All .ISMAIli" a
All fUEIAIU. r
Tastes flood. Csa f
by druggists. Mf
t CousaBTraD.
la tuna. Sold
lJiicWT
WfSOCIES
Kellle Tells How Baby Came.
There's no use of your talkinr. for
mamma told me so.
And if there's any one that does, my
mamma ought to know:
For she has been to Europe, and seen
the Pone of Borne.
Though she says that was before I 'came
to live with her at home.
You see, we had no baby, unless you
call me one.
And I have grown so big yon know,
twould have to be in fun.
When I went to see grandma, about
two weeks ago.
And now we've one. a Kttle one. that
squirms and wriggles so.'
And mamma says an angel came down
from heaven above.
And brought this baby to her, for she
and me to love:
And its got the cunnintcest of feet, as
little as can be.
And smiling eyes, and curly hair, and
hands you scarce can see.
And then it never cries a bit, like some
bad babies do:
And papa says it looks like me I don't
think so, do yon?
For I'm a girl, and it's a boy., and boys
I can't endure.
Unless they're babies like our own.
they'll plague and teas you sure.
But you say the angel didn't come, now
you just tell me why:
Xhe Bible says there's angels in, heaven,
nnn that's th alrv -
And Christ loves little babies, and God
makes everything.
Ana it the angel didn t who did our
baby bring?
You can't tell; no I gness you Can't, but
mamma ought to know.
For it's her baby, hex's and ear's, and
- mamma told me so;
And they don't make any cunning things
like him on earth, yon see;
For no wax doll, with real hair, is half
so nice as he.
I know an. angel brought him,: and
think one brought me, too.
Though I don't just now remember, and
so can t tell, can you? .
But mamma knows, and this I know, the
baby wasn t home
When I went away, and now he is; if
you want to see him, come.
For
mamma says if I am good I can
kiss him every day,
we'll kiss him now, and then go
out and have a nice long play;
if anybody asks yon how babies
And
And
come and go,
tell them it's the angels, for
mamma told me so.
Why,
You Can Get Allen's Foot-Ease FREE.
Write Allen S. Olmsted. Le Rov.K. Y.. for a
free sample of Allen's Foot-Ease. It cures
sweating, hot swollen, aching feet. It makes
aew or tight shoes easy. A certain core for
corns, ingrowingnails and bunions. All drug
gists sell it Kc, Don't accept any substitute.
, Discretion a Failure.
. "I was at the husking bee one day.
Great fun,"
''Find a red ear?" ,
' "Yes." - ' . -
"Kiss the prettiest girl?"
. "Nope. Didn't dare. All the pret
ty girls were engaged to husky farm
ers." - ,
'What did yon do?"
-."Kissed the homeliest girl." : ,
"Did that give satisfaction?"
"Not a bit of it,. t Each of the.hnsky
farmers felt that I had personally
snnbbed his best girl."-: Cleveland
Plain Dealer, v -
riTn Permanently Cored. No fits or nervousness
I 1 1 U after first day's use of Dr.K line's Great Nerve
Restorer. Send for Free S3 trial bottle and treatise.
Sr. R. H. Kline, Ltd., 931 Arch St.-, Philadelphia, Pa.
Willowware Industry. ' .
In ten years Maryland has Jumped
from fifth to third place in the willow
ware industry of the United States,
ranking now next ' to New York and
Pennsylvania. Baltimore is one of the
three willow-ware centers which only
have shown any actual growth in the
business. In Maryland the center of
the willow district lies in Howard
County. In" the neighborhood of Elk
ridge alone the output of willow ex
ceeds $5,000 per annum, while Anne
Arundel County contributes $2,500. .
5 '
Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Soothing
Byrup the best remedy to use for their children
during the teething period.
She Let Him Off.
Wife My dear, I need a little more of
this stun, and some trimming to match.
I wish you would drop into Bigg, Sale &
Co. s and get it.
: Husband (a smart fellow) Let me see.
Oh, I know. That's the store -.where
they have so many pretty girls, isn't it?
"Y-e-s."
Yes, I remember. That blond girl
at the trimming counter knows L your
tastes and will doubtless select just the
sort of trimming you want I mean the
girl . with the golden hair, alabaster skin,
blue eyes and sweet little- "
"There are a number of things I want
downtown. Never mind, dear. I'll go
and get them myself." -
TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All drug
gists refund the money if It fails to core. E. W
Grove's signature is on each box. 25c.
Russia's Lack of Statesmen.
As a matter of faqt, , there has not
ben a statesman of the "first class In
RHssla since Peter the Great, and none
of the second class, unless Nesselrode
and the first Emperor Nicholas are to
be excepted; ,To consider Prjnce Gort
chakoff a great chancellor on account
of his elaborate dispatches is absurd.
To call him a great; statesman, in the
time of Cavojir, Bismarck, Lincoln and
Seward, is preposterous. Whatever
trrowth Russia has , made in the last
forty years has been mainly in spite
of the men who have posed before the
world as her statesmen: the . atmos
phere oi Russian autocracy is fatal to
greatness in her public .men. Century.
P U T N A M
Color more goo's brtghtor and faster colors
Kivvifcncbirc?' is.
Ask dealer or wa wlti
UKUU M.,
UYftoavlUe, lliiaoi.
1 waffiag '
IIUMWPtUIlllitiLlw.uil;u
u V 1
-4
AVegetahle Prepar for As
similating ttieFoodaitdBe?ula
UrlhcStDmaritsaralBowrebof Promotes Digestion.CrieerfuI
ness andRest.Conlains neither
Opm.Morhine nor
NotNarcotic,
Portion Semi-
Aperfecl Remedy forConstipa-
(ion i sour oiuukicn, jjiarrnoea
Worms .Convailsions, Feverish
ness and Loss of Sleep.
Tac Simile Signature of
NEW YORK.
EXACT COPY OF WRAEEER.
- Theater-Going Under Difficulties.
Patron I see yon have a notice out
side, saying that tickets bonght of spec
ulators on the street will be refused at
the door.
Theater Ticket Seller Yes, sir; that is
our rule.
"Well, I'll take a ticket for to-night,
parquette
"Very sorry, sir,, but all the tickets
have been bought up by speculators!"
A GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES
Itching Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Piles.
Tour druggist will refund money If PAZO OINT
MENT fails to care you In to 14 days. 60c
Perfectly Satisfied.
Crack Boat Builder Ah! How de do,
Mr. Richman? How did that rowboat
I made you last summer suit?
Mr. Richman rPerfectly!
"Ah! I'm glad to hear it. I always
like to give satisfaction. Suited' perfect
ly, eh?"
"Yes. I left it in front of my boat
house all summer, and every scalawag
who tried to steal it got upset or drown
ed.
For coughs and colds there is no better
meaioine tnan .riso's cjure tor fuonsump-
non. .race zo cents.
v
Natural Preference.
Miss Violet had made a rapid tour
of the European continent and found
little to impress her, either favorably
or otherwise.
"You say you saw all you wanted to
of Italy," said a friend, on Miss Vio
let's return to her native heath in Kan
sas. "What did you think of the laz
zaroni?" "Don't talk to me about "it" said
Miss Violet, briskly. "I'd rather have
a good dish of plain American maca
roni baked with cheese any time!"
tIITIITIIIimiIIIHHIIIIIIIITHHTHT
St.
Jacobs
Oil
The Old Monk Cure
ITIITITITTITIIIIITTIIITTTttTTnTIHTTTtTTTttTITTTT-ri
"DIDN'T HURT A BIT" IS WHAT THEY SAY
. Of Our Method of Extract-
ing
If your plate falls when eating or talking
by using our vacuum valve we can make
foa one that will be satisfactory. We do
work for people from out of the city quick
ly, so that you will not be delayed.
We do crown . ana bridge work without
pain. Our 17 years'
wore en a Dies us to nt your moutn comiort
bly. The best is tile cheapest in the end.
e nave leeiings as
open evening till i
Phone
uu. L. r. Wia.
WISE BROS., Dentists,
RUSSELL HIGH GRADE MACHINERY
ENGINES
BOILERS
SAW
HILLS
The A. H Averill
PA DE LES S D V E S
than pny other dye.
One lOc mkff-fl orvkr lk
nt naLi ant 111 m infltirn Writ t(lrl
. .
Ill
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always, Bought
Bears
Sign
In
Use
For Over
Thirty Years
atv. new voiuc env.
MALLEABLE IRON STUMP PULLERS
Fastest, lightest and strongest Stump Patter
on the market. 119 Horse power on the sweep
with two horses. Write for descriptive catalog
and prices.
REIERSON MACHINERY CO.
Foot of Morrison Street Portland, Oregon
FIRE PROTECTION !
OLDEST HOUSE IN NORTHWEST
Lartre and complete stock of Fire Apparatus, Hose
and Department Supplies. Oar goods are In use ia ;
nearly every ire uepartment.
HEAVY COPr ER, BRAZED JOINTS, RELI
ABLE FIRE EXTINGUISHERS
"Babcocks" f20, "Patrols" f 15, each. These are the
Standard Extinguishers. Common Extinguishers,
with riveted joints, f 12 each. A. G. LONG. Portland, Or
Dr. GGeeWo
WONDERFUL
HOME
TREATMENT
This wonderful Cht
nfM doctor la called
great because he curae
people without opera
tion that are given op
to die. He cures with
those wonderful Chi
nese herbs, roots, buds,
barks and vegetables
that are entirely un
known to medical sci
ence In this eonntrr.
Through the use
those harmless remedies this famous doctor
knows the action or over 609 different rem-v
edies, which he successfully nses in different
diseases. Ue guarantees to core cattarh, asth
ma, long, throat, rheumatism, nervousness,
stomach, liver, kidneys, etc.: has hundreds of
testimonials. Charges moderate. Call and
sre him. Patients out of the city write foe
blanks and circulars. Bend stamp. CUNdU-r
1 A 11 UN if'KKK. AUUKKKlo
The C Gee Wo Chinese Medicine Co.
253 Alder St.. PrOa.U,
jSM-u.O s pHper.
PNU
No. 21905
1
HEN writing to advertisers please I
ueDuon cms paper
For
Soreness
and
Stiffness
From cold, hard labor or exercise,
relaxes the stiffness and the sore
ness disappears.
Price, 25c. and 50c.
Teeth.
ex erience in plate
wen as you.
Sandavs from 9 to
-tain 2029.
DEL W. a. VV'ldo.
2l3FBlioa
THRESHERS
STACKERS
Write for Catalogue
and Prices
lVfecliinery Co,
PORTLAND
OREGON
wool mnd ottnn uJlv wll mnd 1 ruartited tm
- h - tm Av'm Kl-r snrl mIv -. MAMlMia
;jT.v
tture AXr
I"' Jl' &
t nm : -
i .jjtmmttMmj
v