Corvallis gazette., December 23, 1904, Page 7, Image 7

s
No Appetite
Means loss of vitality, vigor
or tone, and is often a pre
cursor of prostrating sick
ness. This is why it is
serions. The best thing
you can do is to take the
great alterative and tonic
Hood'sSarsaparilla
Which has cored thousands.
Students Broke Tbeat Up.
There are very few things that es
cape the notice of college students
when they appear en masse. This was
demonstrated at an uptown theater the
other evening when a stirring melo
drama was being enacted, says the
Philadelphia Record. A group of ten
students occupied the front row of the
balcony. Just below them sat a party
of young women. It was when the
beautiful heroine was about to be
thrust out on the mercy of a pitiless
world that tragedy was turned into
comedy. True to feminine emotional
nature, the feelings of the group of
women aforesaid were so wrought up
that tears began to flow. There was a
hasty struggle for handkerchiefs, a
deep dive into pockets and bags and
then a pause. Only one of the six
girls had had the foresight to provide
herself with a handkerchief.
With a sympathetic glance of com
prehension she wiped the tears from
her own eyes and then passed the bit
of linen along. One by one the weep
ing maidens dabbed their eyes with the
handkerchief and then it was smug
gled back to the owner and the game
of progressive handkerchief was begun
again. vThe students saw all this, and
one of them took a handkerchief from
his pocket to wipe away imaginary
tears and passed It along the line. Loud
".sobs" drew attention to them. In a
moment the house was convulsed with
laughter, and it was only after mana
gerial interference that the by-play
was stopped and the six maidens with
the one handkerchief were spared fur
ther mortification.
Doing Great Work.
Florisant, Mo., Dec. 19. (Special)
That Dood's Kidney Fills are doing
a great work in curing the more terri
ble forms of Kidney Disease, such as
Bright's Disease, Dropsy and Diabetes,
everybody knows". But it must also
be noted that they are doing a still
greater work in wiping out theousands
of cases of the earlier stages of Kidney
Disease. Take for instance Mrs. Peter
Barteau, ol this place. She says,:
"I have been subject to paios in nry
back and knees for about three years,
but since I have been taking.Dodd'a
Kidney Fills I have been entirely
cured."
I Others here tell similar stories. In
fact, in this part of Missouri there are
scores of people who have cured the
early symptoms of Kidney Disease with
Dodd's Kidney Fills. The use of the
Great American Kidney Remedy thus
saved not only the lives of Kidney Dis
ease victims, but thousands of other
Americans from years of sufferings.
New Uses for Roller Skates.
Little Johnny Say, pa, will you buy
me a pair of roller skates?
Pa What in the name of common
sense do you want with a pair of roller
kates?
Little Johnny Why, pa, I want to
use them for mowing the lawn in sum
mer and shoveling snow in winter.
What else could I use them for, pa
Cincinnati Enquirer.
A man should weigh '2ii pounds for ev
ery foot of his height.
Columbus, Ohio, May 19, 1903.
Some four years ago I was suffering
from impure blood and a general run
down condition of the system.' I had no
appetite, Was losing flesh, and had an all-
fone tired feeling that made me miscra
le. I began the bs of S . S. &, and
after taking seven or eight bottles my skin
was cleared of all eruptions and took on a
ruddy, healthy glow that assured me that
zny blood had been restored to its nor
mal, healthy condition. My appetite was
restored, as I could eat anything put be
fore me, and as I regained my appetite
I increased in weight, and that "tired feel
ing" which worried me so much disap
peared, and I was once again my old self.
I heartily recommend S. S. S. as the
best blood purifier and tonic made, and
strongly advise its use to all those in need
of such medicine. Victor Stubbins.
Cor. Barthman and Washington Aves.
Wheeling, W. V., May 28, 1903.
My system was rundown and my joints
ached and pained me considerably. I had
used S. S. S. before and knew what it
was, so I purchased a bottle of it and have
taken several bottles and the aches and
pains are gone, my blood has been cleas
ed and my general health built up. I -can
testify to it as a blood purifier and tonic.
1533 Market St. John C Stsin.
If yon have any
symptoms of dis
ordered blood
write us and our
physicians will
advise yon free.
Our book on
blood aad akin
The Swift Specific Company, Atiuta, Ga.
IIIEf HUE All USi UIU.
Ooosh Srrmp. Tama Good. CM
in umL pcxq 07 arocrutt.
Si n
a-
ft
THE OLD YEAR AND THE NEW.
The. Old Tear goes away; her eyes ars
sad
The eyes of one who hopes or feats bo
more.
Snow is upon her hair; gray mists have
clad
A form the vesture of the spring which
wore.
The new bods quicken now beneath the
clay;
But not for her the Old Tear goes
away.
The New Tear enters In; a happy child.
Who looks for flowers to nil her out
stretched hand,
And knows not fear, although the winds
be wild.
Soon shall the birds be singing In the
land.
On the young leaves the patter of soft
rain.
And violets ope the New Tear comes
again.
So with this mortal life; now young,, now
old.
A spring which never dreams of frost and
snow.
Summer and autumn then the tale Is told;
With tired step, in wintry days we go.
God grant a wakening on some happier
shore,
Where the lost youth and Joy comes back
once more.
Mary Gorges,
FATE JPJPRESEMTS.
THERE, now, we are all ready for
Christmas," said Mrs. Slickerby, as
she climbed stiffly down from the
cliair on which she had been standing to
deck the chandelier with holly. "How
surprised Josiah will be when he comes
in, cold and tired, to find the place look
ing so like holiday times. I declare, I
have a good mind to make a fire in the
stove just to please him; he kept asking
for it so long though, come to think of
it, he hasn't mentioned it lately, though
I always told him it only made a- dirt
for me to clean up and the furnace heat
ed the whole place anyhow. He said his
mother used to have a nice fire in the
stove when they came in evenings. Of
course, she did; his mother never saw a
furnace in her life, and wouldn't have
known it from a telephone if she had."
She paused, with her hands on her hips,
to admire the result of her labors. "Yes,
I guess I will Hght a fire in that stove,
anyhow, it will serve as a text for more
remarks about the cold and a few more
hints as to how I do need a new set of
furs this Christmas. Josiah is a good
man, but he is as close when it comes to
a question of money as a potato is to its
skin."
She was bustling about as she talked,
making her preparations to light a fire
in the brilliantly polished stove. "There,
I declare," she cried, as she opened the
door, "if Josiah hasn't got this stove
all filled up with papers and trash, after
all my talking; it does seem as if you
can't teach a man to be careful about a
house any more than you can teach a hen
to play checkers! Never mind, I'll just
lay my kindlings on top of the trash and
not scold Christmas is not the time for
scolding, anyhow though when you'vft
got to live with a man it's best to tatse
every opportunity to teach him what's
right."
As the fire began to crackle cheerfully,
she left it and went over to the old
fnshioned cupboard in the corner, reached
carefully to the top shelf and took down
a bundle.
"I'll just take a last peep at Josiah's
present," she said. "I tell you,-there
was a lot of work in the knitting of that
afghan, and If he doesn't give me those
furs he'll feel a good deal ashamed every
time he puts it over his knees in the
buggy this winter and the furs are not
In the house, I know that, for I've been
over every square inch of it in hopes
I'd find he'd hidden 'em somewhere."
She had unfolded a wonderful combina
tion of colors in wool which would have
made Joseph's coat a somber garment by
comparison, and looked at it with great
admiration. Then she carefully replaced
It. "I don't know as it's just necessary
to keep it away up there he wouldn't
Bee it if it was right under his nose.
Dear me, I certainly small something
burning. I wonder if it can be my cake
in the oven, I had almost forgotten it,
with all these other things on my mind."
"There comes Josiah now!" she cried
ten minutes later, as she heard the door
of the sitting room open. "I'll stay out
here and see what he does. Well, surely
he must be pleased with the decorations
and the fire in the stove. It sounds as
if he was doing a jig.all over the room
and him a professing Christian, too!"
Five minutes later she opened the sit
ting room door and stood transfixed on
the threshold. "Why, Josiah Slickerby,
what on earth is the matter?" she shriek
ed. "You are as black as a sweep and
your beard is all siuged, and what is that
awful smell in here, and w-what is that
yon have in your hand?"
"It's your new set(of furs, that's what
it is," retorted Josiah, grimly, "a good
set of furs that cost a lot of money, too,
and looking like a cat that had been
Bitting on a can of firecrackers when
they went off!"
"But how on earth could "
"I had hid 'em in the stove, that's
how! you said you'd never maKe another
fire in it now we've got a furnace, and I
hid 'em in it, so's I could surprise you
for Christmas!"
"Well, goodness knows, you have sur
prised me!"
"Yes, and when I came into this room
it was all full of smoke, and flames were
bursting out of the stove door, it was so
full, and if I hadn't kept my presence
of mind and hunted out that old thing
to smother the flames with, the whole
place might have been burned!" And
he held up the afghan, which was scarce
ly in better condition than the furs!
A Christmas Love Story.
The prettiest Christmas tale of all is
that of the blessed Hermann Joseph, the
little clockmaker of. Germany. He was
a very poor lad, who loved to go to
church better than anything else in the
world. One Christmas eve he entered
the cathedral with a little gift for the
Christ Child. It was all he had a rosy
apple which someone had given him. He
went op to the image of Mary and the
Child, and held out the apple to the lit
tle one, placing it at last in the chubby
hand. Instantly the little marble fingers
closed upon the apple and the child
smiled with pleasure upon the poor boy's
gift. Which goes to ahow tint the trib
ute of the wise men is not the only ac
ceptable offering to Christmas love. Ab
ble Farwall Brown in Lippdncott'e.
It doesn't seem to throw cold watei
over Kris Kringle's good intentions when
wa torn the family hose on him
THE
SICK
VICTIM OF LA GRIPPE.
Mis. Heniietta A. S. Marsh, 769 W.
16th St., Los Angeles, Cal., President
Woman's Benevolent Ass'n, writes:
1 suffered with la grippe for seven
weeks, and nothing I could do or take
helped me until 1 tried Peruna.
"I felt at once that I had at last se
cured the right medicine and I kept
steadily improving. Within three
weeks I was fully restored, and I am
glad that I gave that truly great rem
edy a trial. I will never be without
it again."
In a letter dated August 31, 1904, Mrs.
Marsh says: "I have never yet heard
the efficacy of Peruna questioned. We
still use it. I traveled through Ken
tucky and TennesEee three years ago,
where I found Peruna doing its good
work. Much of it is being used here
also." Henrietta A. S. Marsh.
Address Dr. Hartman, President of
The Hartman Sanitarium, Columous,
Ohio.
Nothing; Bat the Truth.
"Yes," said Mr. Stormington Barns,
"we did well in the West At a one
night stand in Arizona we played to a
$10,000 house."
"Say, what are you giving me?"
queried Mr. Walker Ties.
"Facts," answered the great footsore
tragedian.- "The one man who com
prised the audience was said to be
worth fully that amount."
Mothers will find Mrs. WInslow's Soothing
Syrup the best remedy to use for their children
during the teething period.
Hero.
Dusty Dennis Ah, lady, I have fac
ed the dangers of fire many a time.
The Lady Were you a fireman, my
poor man?
Dusty Dennis2 No'm; I smoked a ci
gar butt in a haystack.
Piso s Cure fa a remedy for coughs, colds
and consumption. Try it. Price 25 cents,
at druggists.
Seasonable Inquiry.
"Allow me, Mr. Bifkins,' said the
hostess to a late arrival, "to introduce
Captain de Jones, a man who has
faced death in a score of battles."
"Pleased to meet you, captain," said
Birkins. "By the way, are you a mili
tary or football captain?"
Many women are denied the'
happiness of children through
derangement of the generative
organs. Mrs., Beyer advise'
women to use Lydia E. Pink
ham's Vegetable Compound.
" Deab Mrs. Pbtkham : I suffered
with stomach complaint for years. I
got so bad that I could not carry my
children but five months, then would
have a miscarriage. The last time I
becane pregnant, my husband got me
to take Lydia E. Pint ham's Vege
table Compound. After taking the
first bottle I was relieved of the sick
ness of stomach,' and began to feel bet
ter in every way. I continued its use
and was enabled to carry my baby to
maturity. I now have a nice baby
girl, and can work better than I ever
could before. I am like a new woman. "
Mes. Fbahk Bktsb, 22 S. Second St,
Meriden, Conn. $5000 fvfttt If rtflmml
afteos IrtUr proof ng giimintmu cannot sretfugM.
FREE MEDICAL ADVICE TO
"WOMAN".
Don't hesitate to write to Mrs.
Pinkham. She will understand
your case perfectly, and will treat
you with kindness. Her advice
Is free, and the address is Lynn,
Mass. No woman ever regretted
having written her, and the bat
helped thousands.
HOPE
FOR
A
I
Cora What Is your favorite pet In
the animal world? Dora Man. Chi
cago Chronicle,
"What are you plunging back in the
water for, Pat? You just swam
ashore." "Shure, Oi had-to save meself
first; now Oi'm going back to fetch
Moike."
Teacher Now, Tommy, if you had
twelve plums and your little brother
'asked you for one-half of them, how
many would you have left? Tommy
(promptly) Twelve.
Mrs. Backlotz So your servant girl
has left you again? Mrs. Subbubs
Yes. Mrs. Backlotz What was the
matter? Mrs. Subbubs She didn't like
the way I did her work. Philadelphia
Press.
Bright Boy I'm a chip of the old
block, ain't I, pa? Fond Father Yes,
my son. B. B. An' you're the head o'
the family, ain't you, pa? F. F. Yes,
my son. B. B. Then you're a block
head, ain't you, pa?
Clara overheard her parents talking
about Bible names. "Is my name In
the Bible?" she, asked. "No, dear."
"Didn't God make me " "Yes." "Then
why didn't he say something about
it?" Harper's Magazine.
Fair Passenger Won't you have a
paper, sir? Hoggly Why er what
makes you offer me a paper? Fair Pas
senger I thought you'd be more com
fortable while women are standing if
you could hide your face! Ex.
Teacher The sentence, "My father
had .money," is in the past tense. Now,
Mary, what tense would you be speak
ing in if you said, "My father has
money T' Little Mary Oh, that would
be. pretense. London Tit-Bits.
Policeman Why, my little dear, 11
you can't tell me your mother's name
or where she lives, how are we to find
her? Little Girl (lost while out shop
ping) Jes, put me In a shop window
an' mamma'U be sure to see me.
"What is a counter-irritant?" asked
Mrs. Smithers. "A counter-irritant,"
replied Smithers, "is a woman who
makes the clerk pull down everything
from the shelves for two hours "and
then buys four cents' worth of hair
pins." "Never mind," said the friend, sooth
ingly, "you'll wake up some morning,
and find yourself famous." "Not
much.'" growled the pessimistic poet,
"it would be-Just my luck to oversleep
myself that morning." Philadelphia
Press.
Mother What! Fighting ' again?
Such a black eye! If you'd only fol
low the lead of the minister's little
boy Tommy I did try to, but
be led agen wid his right, an' dat's
where he biffed me.. Philadelphia
Ledger.
Professor Robert, do you know the
meaning of the word precipice, or
bluff? Robert Yesslr. Professor You
may give me an example. Robert I
can lick you with one band. Profes
sorSir! What's that? " Robert
That's a bluff.
Mrs. Dearborn Were you married
In June? Mrs. Wabash Yes; once on
the fifth, once on the eighth and on
the tenth, and another time on the
sixteenth; but I've switched off to Oc
tober; that's my marrying month now!
Yonkers Statesman.
Shocked Mother My boy, my boy,
what became of that last piece of pie I
left In the cupboard and told you not
to disturb? Little Oscar I eated It
Shocked Mother And what would you
call an act like that? Little Oscar
Disturbing the piece, I suppose. Buf
falo Commercial.
Husband Why do you scold the
butcher? It isn't his fault that the
meat comes to the table all dried up.
Scold the cook. Wife I don't dare to;
but I'm In hopes that if I keep on
scolding the butcher, he'll get mad,
and come around and scold the cook.
New York Weekly. .
Kllmore After all, Stedman isn't so
bad a fellow. He came to me, man
fashion, and took back all the things he
had said against my people. Burman
Did it voluntarily? "Practically that.
It Is true I threatened to shoot him on
sight if he didn't retract; but that was
only a matter of detail." Boston
Transcript
Church Don't you dislike to smell
the odor from those automobiles?
Gotham No, I like to smell it "You
do?" "I certainly do. You know, you
can't smell the odor until the machine
haB gone by." "I know it" "Well,
if the machine has gone by, and you
can smell at all, you're pretty sure that
you haven t been struck." Yonkers
Statesman.
"Hallo, Gudger, I've been looking
for you a week. Couldn't find you high
or low. Met a friend. of yours the
other day. He's been ,talking about
you, and I felt It my duty to tell you
what he said." "Ah, well. I don't care
to hear what he said. I know it was
something disagreeable." "How do you
know that?" "Because you are so
anxious to teU it Good morning."
Lawyer You have taken your oath,
and I want you to answer each of my
Questions honestly. Witness Yes,
sir. Lawyer What is your ocupa
tion? Witness I am a driver. Law
yer Do you drive a wagon? Witness
No, sir; I do not Lawyer Now be
careful, and remember that you are
on your oath. You admit that you are
a driver; now, honestly, don't you drive
a wagon? Witness No. sir; I drive
a horse. Albany Evening Journal.
Amr's
You can hardly find a home
without its Ayer's Cherry
Pectoral. Parents know what
it does for children: breaks
Cherry
Pectoral up a cold in a single night,
wards off bronchitis, prevents
pneumonia. Physicians ad
vise parents to keep it on hand.
The best eonsh medicine money can buy
it Ayer's Cherry Pectoral. For the coughs of
children nothing could po-sibly be better."
- -Jacob Shuix, Saratoga, Ind.
SJC.50c.fl.00.
ATdruggUts
J. C ATXR CO.,
"Lowell. Mass.
for
Throat, Lungs
ayer's Pills greatly aid the Cherrj
Pectoral In breaking up a cold.
Clerical Jolt.
She was wealthy and consequently a
target for much flattery.
"Is it a sin," she asked her spiritual
adviser, "to take pleasure in having
people call me beautiful?"
"Of course it is, my child," replied
the good old parson. "It is always
wicked to encourage falsehood."
riTQ Permanently Cured. No fits or nervousness
110 afterflrstday'suseofDr.Kline'sGreatNerve
Restorer. Send for Free S2 trial bottle and treatise.
Dr. R.H. Kline, Ltd., 931 Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa.
She'd Looked Ic Cp All Right.
Teacher Have you looked up the
meaning of the word "imbibes," Fanny?
Fanny Yes, ma'am.
Teacher Well, what does it mean?
Fanny To take in.
Teacher Yes. Now give a sentence
ising the word.
Fanny My aunt imbibes boarders.
Woman's Home Companion.
A GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES
Itching Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Piles.
Tour druggist will refund money If PAZO OLNT
TIENT falls to cure you in to U days, 60c
No Flowers.
A Bay County, Missouri, man bet $2
Chat he could twist the tail of a dun
colored mule and escape unscathed. In
reply to a telegram from the coroner
his father, in the East, wired: "Bury
the fool where he lit" Denver
Post.
The Kind You Have Alwavs
aSjg.T-TS.-iLa. , ,
ture of Chas. H. Fletcher, and has been made under his
personal supervision for over 30 years. Allow no one
to deceive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitations and
Just-as-grood" are but Experiments, and endanger tho
health of Children Experience against Experiment.
What is CASTORIA
v Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare
goric, Drops and Soothing- Syrups. It is Pleasant. It
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic
substance. - Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms
and allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the
Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep.
. The Children's Panacea The Mother's Friend.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Bears the
In Use For Over 30 Years.
THK CENTAUR COMPANY. TT MURRAY STREET. NEW YORK CITY.
RUSSELL eheinebWRs
Wis High Grade
THRESHERS
Machinery
STACKERS
Write for Catalogue and Prices
TUn A U A II MonhinnK., On PORTLAND
i lie ft. ii. hvciiii maoiiuiGiy uu. Oregon
Ask Ton
UKOT carried by local grocers, wilt Wadaaioa Co, who will advlM whar obtainable.'
His Sphere '
Friend Do 70a never take a vaca
tion, doctor?
Doctor Very seldom. I'm kept busj
all summer doctoring people who have
been taking vacations. Puck.
TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All drug
gists refund the money If It tails to cure. K. W.
Grove's signature la on each box. S&c
Similar bat Different.
"Did you ever attend a cooking
school?" asked the Chicago girL
"No," replied her Boston cousin, "but"
I graduated from a college of gastron
omy." .
FIRE PROTECTION!
i-OLDEST HOUSE IN NORTHWEST
Large and complete stock of Fire Apparatus, Boss
and Department Supplies. Our goods are In use la
nearly every Fire Department.
HEAVY COPPER. BRAZED JOINTS, RELI
ABLE FIRE EXTINGUISHERS
"Babcocks" 20, "Patrols" 1S, each. These are the
Standard Extinguishers. Common Extinguishers,
vith riveted Joints, 12 each. A. G. LONG, Portland, Or
are known by what they hava
grown. For half a century they
have been the standard liavenjt
xauea once to produce bigger, bet
ter crops man anv otners. Bold
by all dealers. 190S Heed As.
nasi free to all applicants.
, M. FERRY & CO.,
Detroit, Mich.
AJTOsrnt GutatwrwAtnA
. tut vt muuu mitts aarmmt
P. N. U.
No. 52 1904
WHEN writing to advertisers pleas I
mention this paper. I
Bou&rlit lias borne th signa
Signature of
Grooer
J HMHIST 3TA1IDAR
Y QUALITY -.ilfJsSf 3 f