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About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 19, 1904)
Is a strong point with Hood's Sarsaparilla. A bottle lasts longer and does more good than any other. It is the only medicine of which can truly be said -1 00 DOSES ONE DOLLAR DIs -world ain't square," growled little Mickey. "Why not?" aaked Jim my. " 'Cause the only ones dat get free peanuts are elephants and police men." Chicago News. To Break la New Shoes. Always shake in Allen's Foot-Ease, powder. It cures hot. sweating, aching:, swollen feet. Cures corns, ingrowing nails and bnnions. At all druggists and shoo stores, 25c. Don't accept any substitute. Sample mailed FEES. Address Allen S. Olmsted, Le Boy, N. Y. He I'd like to meet Miss Bond. She Why? "I hear she has thirty thou sand a year and no Incumbrance." "Is she looking for one?"-Llfe. Piso's Cure I a good coueh inedicine. It has cured coughs and colds for forty years. At druggists, 25 cents. Toned film Down. "This photograph doesn't look a bit like me," said Snarley'to the photo grapher. "I know it," said the photographer. "I was afraid to make it exactly like you for fear you wouldn't take it." SlOO MffARD SIOO. The readers of this paper will be pleased to earn that there is at least one dreaded disease (list science has been able to cure in all its stages, and that is catarrh. Hall's Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh being a constitutional dis ease, requires a constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the founda tion of the disease, and giving the patient irengui uy ouiiumg up mo constitution ana assisting nature in aoing its work. The pro prietors have so much faith in its curative cowers, that they offer One Hundred Dollar lor any case that It fails to cure. Bend for list oi testimonials. Address F. J. CHENEY k CO., Toledo O. eoiu oy aruEKists. ou. lla'Vs FamiLr Pills are the bad. Economical. Friend (to amateur artist) I sup pose you'll give up painting when you marry? Amateur Oh, no! It'll be so con venient and e onomical when we have to make wedding presents. PITA Permanently unna. iroflts or nervousness II lU after first day's useofDr.Kllne'sareat Net Restorer. Bend for Wm ft 2 trial bottle anil tratl Dr. K. H. Kline, Ltd.-MX Arch St.. Philadelphia, Pa. Mexican Salutations. Mexican gentlemen tip their hats to each other or at least salute in passing and shake hands both at meeting and parting, though the interview may have lasted only two minutes. Lucky Fishermen. A fisherman at Phippsburg, Me., pulled up a jug of gin on the cod hook the other day. The date of the jug was 1821. ' Curious Cucumber. .' A freak in the cucumber line was '.found in Brandon, Vt., last week by ('Arnold Manchester. It is four distinct cucumbers, yet all grown from a single stem and forming a solid bunch shaped not unlike a Maltese cross. The Masculine Theory. Wife I wonder why the fashions for women change so often? Husband Probably for the purpose of enabling them to correspond with the feminine mind, my dear. Horrible Thought. Here's an astrologer who predicts that King Edward is shortly to pass through a lot of trouble, a dark cloud hanging over the empire. Some hor rible calamity, don't you know. I'll bet Alfred Austin is writing an other ode. Life. Seals Being Exterminated. American and Canadian fishermen ,are exterminating the seals on the Pri by 1 off islands, near Alaska. Just for the sport of the thing they shoot the animals instead of spearing; the bodies sink, and the breeding seals are fright ened away by the noise. JkS OLD 2SPYRAMI That blood poison existed among; the ancients has been proven beyond question. It has been traced back thousands of years, and is as old as the Pyramids. This blighting curse has been handed down from nation to nation and from individual to individual till it has spread to all parts of the world. Contagious blood poison, as it is called in modern times, begins with a small sore or ulcer through which the virus enters the blood. This is followed by inflam mation and swelling of the glands of the groins, a red eruption breaks out on the body, sores appear in the mouth and the throat becomes ulcerated, and as the disease takes a deeper hold and the blood becomes more thoroughly infected, the hair and eyebrows drop out, the skin is spotted with copper-colored splotches, the bones and muscles ache, and it seems to the vie'dra of this monster scourge there is not a sound spot in the whole body, i .The horror of this awful disease can never be told. The one who con tracts it suffers in body and mind, and if the poison is not eradicated transmits the taint to bis children, and Contagious Blood Poison thus becomes responsible for many of the ills of childhood Skin Eruptions, Catarrhal Troubles, Sore Eyes, Scalp Disease, White Swelling, Scrofula and others just as bad. S. S. S., the great vegetable blood purifier and tonic, has long been recognized as a radical and sale cure for Contagious Blood Poison. It counteracts the deadly virus and cleanses and puri fies the diseased blood, and under its tonic effects the general health im proves and soon all signs of blood poison are gone. The strong mineral remedies. Mercury and Potash, which are so often prescribed for the disease, dry up the sores, skin eruptions and I .. all external signs, but leave the stomach you have blood poison write for our special book, describing the different stages and giving all the symptoms, with directions for treating one's self at home. Our physicians will furnish any information or advice wanted free of charge. JIE 3WIFTSPECIF1G CO ATLANTA, GAs GORDON M'KAY. - Death of the Man Who Revolutionized J the ShoemaJclnsr Induatry. - I Gordon McKay, whose death oc curred recently at his cottage In fash ionable Newport, was a notable figure in the social and business world. Although starting In life compara tively poor, he ac cumulated millions through his inven tive genius. Mc Kay was born in Pittsfield, Mass., in 1821, and on the death of his father In 1833, began to GOBDOX la'KAT. study for the career of a civil en gineer. When 21 years old he had a machine shop in his native town. He studied machinery and his opportunity came when the shoe stitching machine, invented by L R. Blake, proved to be an utter failure. He bought the patent outright and perfected a machine which has revolutionized the shoemak ing industry. This machine did away with the little cobbler shops, with their pegs and wax ends, and opened up big factories. In a few years every man. woman and child in America, wno wore shoes, paid tribute to him, and McKay gained millions. McKay' partner was Robert H. Mathes, a practical man of inventive genius. When the war broke out in 1861 they offered to the government, something unheard of, machine made shoes for the army. In less than ten years it is estimated that more than 10,000.000 pairs of boots and shoes In America had paid royalty to McKay and his companies. In 1878 he formed the McKay Sewing Machine Associa tion, and in a series of lawsuits de feated all rivals, established his patents and became the central power in one of the greatest monopolies. Gordon McKay married Miss Minnie Treat, of Cambridge, many years younger than himself. They lived to gether only a few years. There were two sons, who have always been with their mother. Mrs. KcKay finally se cured a divorce, and became the wife of Adolph A, von Bruening, an at tache of the German embassy at Washington, and now charge d'affaires of the German legation to the Sultan of Morocco. McKay, who had always been attached to his wife, sent her jewels and other gifts on her wedding day, and, it is said, gave her a check for 1100,000. The Kaiser became angered at such attention, and the young man was In the background for several years. Then, through family Influence in Germany, he was restored to favor, after having returned to Mr. McKay the money given his wife. Mr. McKay did much good with his money. He educated a number of yonng women abroad in music, gave generously to Harvard college and founded a training college In Rhode Island for negroes, which college bears the name of the McKay institute. He was a good violinist and left a large collection of musical instruments. It is "understood that the greater part of his estate will go to Harvard Univer sity, including his large library. His next to kin are Mrs. Dexter and Miss Catherine Dexter, of Boston. Gave Kim Away. Two young fellows at Liverpool, partners in the tea trade, were the best of friends, and their intimacy extended to personal as well as to business mat ters. One of them, a simple-minded fel low, was a bachelor, and was in the hahlt of reading to his partner ex tracts from letters of an ardent and affectionate nature from a lady in the North of England, who signed herself Susie." The married one went to China for twelve months, and returned just in time to attend the wedding of his part ner. "I hardly feel like a stranger," he said. In his sweetest tones, addressing the bride. "In fact, I feel as though ought to be well acquainted with my partner's wife, since he has often done me the honor to read to me ex tracts from his dear Susie's letters." The faces of the husband and the wife were studies, as the bride drew herself up and said, emphatically and distinctly, "I beg your pardon my name Is Helen 1" AS HAS ALL THE SYMPTOMS. Bear Sirs: As a result of a serious blood disorder my blood became poisoned and I of fered severely with Rheumatism and other symptoms not necessary to men tion. A friend of mine told me that he had been cured of my trouble by 8. S. S., and upon his recommendation I began its use. After using it for some time my blood was thoroughly cleansed of au poison and made pure and strong again- I wish also to speak of ita tonic prop, erties. While pursing my blood of impurities, it built up my general health, improved my appetite, gave me increased strength, and 1 felt better in every way. x am a great ceuever in s. a. ., ana ten pleasure commend it to all in need of a blood medicine. !TT1 ROBERT M. ZWHITZIGr. oao wainut at., J-ioDanon, .fa. I ! i si rf'iL-gi. hp. yy TTT Ti II sf and digestion ruined and the system in such condition that the disease usually returns in worse form than ever. S. S. S. is guaranteed a purely vegeta ble remedy. $i,oooisofferedforproof that it contains a single mineral ingredient. If fREAT NAMES IN CONGRESS. . - i Ken Whose Patronymics Mark Taverns for Other Men's Notice. We cannot depend on the Hons of Representatives of the United States Congress for a great deal, but we can always trust it to supply a roll call that is interesting and diverting read ing until it becomes an old story, says the New York Mail and Express. Why is it that men of picturesque and even remarkable cognomens tend to drift into Congress, especially in the South and West? Is It that the very nature of their names seems to devolve upon them the duty to render these names Illustrious? Perhaps It Is. The Fifty-eighth Congress Is no ex ception to the rule. There are men here whose names ought to have made them famous even if they had never gone to Congrss or done anything else. Not to speak of Prince Cupid Kalanla- naole of Honolulu, whose name may be the Hawaiian Smith for all we know, we have on this new roll of our coun try's, fame the priceless name of the Hon. Swanger fiherley of Kentncky,- that of Hon. Phanor Brazeale of vLouis iana and that of Hon. Justin D. Bow ersock of Kansas. The Hon. Jefferson Brick Is now absent from the councils of the nation, but the family is ably represented by the Hon. Abraham Brick of Indiana. There are others. Let ns pick out a few patronymic gems at random: Thetus W. Sims, Tennessee. Parish Carter Tate, Georgia, OUle James, Kentucky. tHalvor Steenerson, Minnesota. Champ Clark, Missouri. Jack Beall, Texas. Carter GIris, Virginia. . Arsene P. Pujo, Louisiana. The names of Pou, Snook, Moon, Dick, Crumpacker, Mudd, Skiles, Sbull, Snapp, Gooch, Licernash, Kluttz, Sho ber and Spight continue to decorate the roll. They surely were not born to die. But why, may we ask, is the name of "Bird" so popular among poli ticians? The present House has on its list Adam Byrd of Mississippi and H. Burd Cassell of Pennsylvania, and have we- not our own Bird S. Coler and Asa Bird Gardiner always with us? Many a congressional surname of de cided commonplaceness is relieved from "that fate by the given name. That of the Hon. Choice B. Randell of Texas Is an instance, the Hon. Vespa sian Warner another and the Hon. Ariosto Wiley another. But for the most part the Congressmen were con demned by their parents to bear the plain names of John, James, William, Joseph and so on. These parents fail ed to realize that if a man couldn't get his name Into the megaphone of fame In any other way It might be done for him with a quaint curious and mouth-filling baptismal designa tion. Flaxseed and Mustard. What a jolly thing a cold is when yon get it good and hard! How it cheers the drooping spirits of the energetic bard! Hear the cheerful" way he sneezes! How he pleases with his wheezes! And his treasured nose he squeezes . While he rubs his chest with lard. While the trustiest of nurses by hia verses never flustered Makes a poultice, like a custard. Of the flaxseed and the mustard. What a jolly thing a cold is with the poultice in its place! When your heart is filled with gladness and the sweat runs down your face! ' Does the patient do some cussing At the fussing and the mussing? ' Nay ! He's learnedly discussing ' The improvement of the race. Never yelled and never blustered When he felt that stinging custard Made of flaxseed and of mustard! What a jolly thing a cold is! Oh, the liar that I am! Am I gently philosophical and gentle as a lamb? No, I'm not! I'm fiercely cranky v At this measly hanky-panky. Will I take that stuff? No, thankee! 'Tis a snare! delusion! sham! Hang the doctors and the nurses! Let the druggists hear my curses I On their shelves permit to spoil Senna, salts, and" castor oil! Please to let me, carin' noffln', Go a-coughin' to my coffin! With my body wrapped in worsted And a poultice, like a custard, Made of flaxseed and of mustard! Pittsburg Dispatch. The Wooden Indian. Behold the wooden Indian, Who stands outside the door, And guards, with frown and hatchet, The old tobacco store. He never beat a grocery bill. He never told a lie. He never took a longing look At bourbon, fizz, or rye. Behold the wooden Indian A mass of oak and paint; He never made a crooked move, In faith, he is a saint. He never bought a stack Of chips And sat into a game; He never rushed a chorus girl. Or flirted with a dame. Behold the wooden Indian, Who, on the other hand. Was never known to help the poos That fill our glorious land; Who never heard the -piteous cry Of hint who starved alone Who never gave a hungry dog So much as one small bone. Behold the wooden Indian (And clay is much like wood), Who never did a bit of harm, Nor yet a bit of good. His family is not extinct In fact, one often meets A lot of wooden Indians A-walking on the streets I -Milwaukee Sentinel. Keen Repartee. Mistah Jackson Whaffoh yo' grtnd ln' dat razor so shahp f oh, Mistah John sing? Mistah Johnsing Ah's gwtne to a watermelllon pahty to-night an dey do stay dat de toasts an' repartee- gwine be mighty shahp an' skin tilla tin', sah. San Francisco Bulletin. Uncle Sam's Women Employes. The largest number of women em ployes in any line of work are in "the United States Postofflce Department. More than one-third of them are past middle age and some are past 70. They fill all kinds of positions, even many of the rural free delivery routes being filled by them. - Mrs. Anderson, a prominent society woman of Jacksonville, Fla., daughter of Recorder cf Deeds, West, says: "There are but few wives and mothers whe have not at times en dured agoniea and such pain as only women know of. I wish such women, knew the value of LVydia E. Pinlc ham'g Vegetable Compound. It is a remarkable medicine, different in action from any other I ever knew and thoroughly reliable. "I have seen cases where women doctored for years without permanent benefit who were cured in less than three months after taking your Vege table Compound, while others who were chronic and incurable came out cured, happy, and in perfect health after a thorough treatment with this medicine. I have never used it myself without gaining great benefit. A few doses restores my strength and appetite, and tones up the entire system. Tour medicine has been tried and found true, hence I fully endorse it." Mas. R. A. Anderson, 225 Wash ington St., Jacksonville, Fla.' $5009 Hrfelt If orlflnml ofmeav ttatlmonlol proving gmnu IsvioM cannot be induced. The experience and testimony of some of the most noted women ct America go to prove, beyond a question, that Lydia EL Pink ham's Vegetable Compound will correct all such trouble at once by removing the cause, and re storing: the organs to a healthy eund normal condition. ODDEST TRIBE IN THE WORLD. Painful Vaenton of Tattooing ia Tosh Anton a tne 'Woman. The Ainu live, in the moat primitive manner possible. They have adopted the drees of the Japanese, bat the houses are very unlike any seen in Japan. They are made of rice straw, roofed with a thatching of reeds. How the natives ever survive the winter is difficult to understand. In the center of the room is the fireplace, from which the smoke floats oat into the. room, at times becoming almost suffo cating. An opening in the roof is supposed to serve as an outlet, bat the smoke does not always find it Over the fire hangs a huge iron kettle and into it are thrust all sorts of fish, ani mal and vegetable food, to be dished up later In a sort of composite chowder. Around two sides of the room is a slightly raised platform, upon which the whole family range themselves for the night, without bedding of any sort In summer and only a scanty supply In winter. As a race the Ainu are sturdy in ap pearance, but are peaceable and not given to war, like the Japanese. The marked feature of the men is a hairy growth upon the entire body, like that upon a wild animal. A creepy sensa tion takes posessslon of one in look ing upon these walking, talking crea tures, so intelligent and yet presenting somewhat the outward appearance of gigantic monkeys. The women have the same large, heavy features as the men. They are generally disfigured by an ancient cus tom of tattooing a-large portion of the face around the mouth, the upper part of which takes the form of mustache. It signifies nothing whatever except a badge of distinction for the race. The process of tattooing is long and painful. When a girl Is about twelve years old the mother begins operations on the lower lip and by degrees covers the space of two inches on each Bide of the mouth. As the child grows this increases in size until It extends halt way across the face toward the ears. The preparation used in tattooing is made by the women from ash bark. This is soaked for some days and when ready for use soot, produced by burn ing birch-bark, is added to the liquid and the concoction is applied to the surface of the skin. The lips ' are scratched with a sharp instrument, more of the fluid applied and from time to time, as the irritation ceases, the work is continued. In olden times other marks were added as the girls became wives or mothers, but these are now seen only on the very old. The Housekeeper. ABSOLUTE SECURITY, Cenulne Carter's Little Liver Pills. Oust Bear Signature off : tt Fac-Slmlle Wrapper Below. YaOT eaaall and aa easy I la.takeassagsse FOR HEADACHE. FOR DIZZINESS. FDR BIUOUSRESY. FOR TORPID LIVER ' FOR COaSTIPATlOR, for sallow skji. for the complexion rVPm;TgBtaMeeq CURE SICK HEADACHE.. banc wntnc a.l iui idimi Bast Conga Syrup. Tastes Good, uaa In time. Kola oy araggiBts. CARTER'S flVER mmm mmmmmsm . 53 W1 L08T IN AN OLD WORKINQ. lUaeoarl atlaor Kearly Haata peatlt la Aa Abaadoacd Aiae, For five days recently Tom Morrow, a miner of Joplln, Mo was lost in some disused chambers of an abandon ed mine. He was crazy when he found his way out and his black hair had; turned gray. , Morrow is a miner with eccentricities,' and a month ago he told his wife he believed he could go under the city of Joplln by following the drifts of abandoned . shafts. She thought it a wild dream of his and paid no attention, but when he disap peared with the family lantern she knew that he was carrying out the Idea suggested some time before. When he had been absent a day or two she became alarmed and his friends were informed of his disappearance. ' They ., were not anxious to enter the under-; ground path themselves and took no : steps to find him, but waited for his T return. ; - ;- - ., -, Though a maniac when found. Mor row's reason is returning, and be has some recollection of what occurred.; It seems that during the early part of his Journey he suddenly came upon a body of men working. They did not see him . and he beat a retreat. At another time ' he came to a shaft that descended from the drift in which he was walk- j Ing. Although he was already many feet beneath the surface of the earth he descended still further into the ground. It was after going down into these deep drifts that he completely lost his bearings. In vain he searched for the shaft through which he had en- tered the deep passageways. He failed to find an outlet to any of the drifts. ii 4-v . . . . ., All of them ended abruptly in walls of dir .n rr , : dirt and stone. How he ever escaped from this underground tomb he does not remember. It was while in these passageways that his lantern failed him. For four days he told the time by striking matches and holding them near the face of his watch. Then the matches gave out and he lost all reck oning of time. It baffles his wife and friends to know how he effected his escape from the underground prison. They think that perhaps after he had become de ranged an instinct came to him which directed him in the right course. Morrow thinks that he covered a dis tance of many miles. He came out of a cave a mile from the opening through which he entered. . HIS NAME IS AN INCUBUa Colored Man Couldn't Prosper With Mia Baptismal Cognomen. An old colored man called on Judge Ruf us B. Cowing of New York City the other day and in asking for advice sup plied the court with a good story. What I'se gwine to inculcate, jedge, is dis: What mug' I do to chancre mah prognomen? When I find dat I'se weighed down wif ah prognomen dat's bound to kill mah trade .what mus' I do?" "You wish to change your name?" inquired Judge Cowing. "And why?" Cause mah name is Failure. Yes, sah, dat's mah name. I'se ah white- washer and dat name jes' queers me." Very well, uncle. Why not use the first letter of your name?" suggested the court. - "Dat's wuss," groaned the old man. I'se tried dat. I had ah big sign painted, 'A. Failure,' and mah trade leit me." The Initial letter does make an un happy combination," agreed the judge. "But I'll tell you what to do. Use your first name and then people will not notice the last name so much." "Dt's der mos' disclmmodding of all, sah.. It's simply downright scand'lous. Mah first, name is Adam, sah." New York Times. Progressive Forge trainees. "One of the consolations of advanc ing years," said a man well past mid dle age to a correspondent of the In dianapolis Journal, "is the privilege we take unto ourselves of jesting on the subject with people just a few years older. "For instance," he continued, "last night I took dinner with an uncle, aged ninety years, and enjoyed It im mensely. I love to hear old men talk, and this is my only great-uncle. WelL my Great-Uncle Ellas told a good many stories of old times, and they were good stories, too, but he repeat ed himself now and then. "My younger uncle, also Uncle , Elias, who was present, got a trifle testy af ter a while, no doubt because he did not get a chance to talk quite as much as usual, and he muttered to me: " 'Gracious goodness, that makes six times Uncle Elias has told about how he onee got even with a schoolteacher who whipped him when he was a boy. Old men get awfully forgetful.' "Thafs so,' I said. 'This makes three times you've said to me that Uncle Ellas has told that tale six times.'" ' Her Experience. "They say," remarked the young girl, "that a sensible business man is apt to act foolish when in love." "Yes, that's right," replied the elder ly matron. "A man will make a per fect idiot of himself over his wife so long as she doesn't ask' him for money." In Kansas. We found the native taking great strides toward the cyclone cellar. "Why are you going in there?" we asked. "My wife Is coming!" he gasped. , ' "She isn't a cyclone." "Isn't she, now? You don't know my wife." A Suggestion.. . Jimblecute Say, have you forgot ten that $10you borrowed of me some weeks ago? Bobalong Oh, no; I still have It in mind. Jimblecnte Well, don't you think it would be a good idea to pay up and release your mind. , An Impossible Situation. Flipper Why does he object to his wife going out alone in her motor car? Flapper Because he can't see how one unmanageable thing can manage another. Modern Society. Many a man neglects his family in ordar to pose as a public benefactor. Moth consumption for many years. At last she was given up to die. Then she tried Ayers Chenr Pectoral, and was speedily cored. D. P. Jolly, Avoca, N. T. No matter how hard your cough or how long you have had it, Ayers Cherry Pectoral : is the best thing you can take. It's too risky to wait until you have consump tion. If you are coughing today, get a bottle of Cherry Pectoral at once. Tint sins : Mfc, Mc, SU All srarrtst- Consalt your doctor. If h says take It, than do as ha says. If ha tells you not to take It. then don't take it. He knows. Leave It with him. We are willing;. - J. C. AVER CO.. Lowell, Hass. Burnt gypsum . is called plaster-of- pmrls, because the Montmartre Gypsum OhdtIm M, P-rla r and bivt been, famous for affording It. ; m . ulllul1.i1 i The most . economical processes are - . . , . ud m the Lake region for the recov- , ery of copper, so that it Is found that I ore yielding 1 per cent will pay costs, i Old as the history of the world It self Is that of the queen of flowers. The ancient Greeks and Romans re veled In roses. They were used lav ishly at their feasts. In a bog on the island of Zeeland, Denmark, a votive bronze chariot has ; been found with the image of a horse ten inches high , in front and with an inlaid gold sun on one side. Alabaster Is a fine-grained variety of gypsum, either white or delicately shaded, and occurs In fine quality at Castelino, Italy, whence it is taken to Florence for the manufacture of vases, figures, etc. On of the oldest coins in the world, the German thaler, Is disappearing. It is to be replaced by a four-mark piece, equivalent to our American dollar, as the five-mark silver pieces have been found to be too heavy. The electrical roads of the country have a nominal capital of $1,600,000,- 000, employ three hundred thousand persons who are paid S250.000.000 a ! year, and run sixty thousand cars over ' twenty thousand miles of track. Ten miles of electrical road are building to one of steam road. The word Bible furnishes a striking Instance of a world's rise from very low to high estate. To the bulk of English-speaking folk it now means the book of books. In Chaucer's day it meant any book whatever, or scroll to speak by the card, lest equivocation undo us. Tracing the word Bible straight home we find It as bublos, but another name for the papyrus reed of Egypt HE FELT LIKE A SWINDLER. Man Who Fooled the Doctora Re . proached by Hla Conscience. Here and there, along life's busy and diversified pathways, curious reasons for curious moods in man are some times encountered, says the Detroit Free Press. "Ever since I've begun to get weH," said a pale-looking gentleman who was strolling along a sunny sidewalk with a comrade, - "I've had the blues, now and then. Naturally, I'm very glad I'm alive; but 'there are circumstances which rather make me feel myself a humbug an out-and-out humbug. It's this way, you see. All the doctors said I could not get well I positively could not get welL Of course, that aroused the neighborhood; everybody began to shower me with attentions and kind nesses. All kinds of invalid food de lightfully prepared poured in upon me; flowers and fruit came nearly ev ery day. The men of our block clubbed together and. sent me a beautiful Mor ris chair; and the club fellows, down town, sent me a loving cup, touchingly engraved with sentiments of friend ship. Dainty china articles for my in valid's table were given me; and so on I can't recount the half. "Well, I gave the doctors the slip, and here I am, almost well and feel ing that I shall soon be sounder than ever before my Illness. Now, what gives me the blues is this: I have got these things on false pretenses. I've fooled all these people and it makes me sad. , They can't have any confi dence in -me hereafter. No, you can't console me I'm a fraud and I feel like a fraud." Aatn I TKVC TnTNTnTfi- TRT MTNTTTF The f otare can be your own. Results are never PEUmniTUT iniJ minute doubt when you attend our school. Weedu- cateryou for practical business, and asdsti; Selandid eauioment. methods. Sit right down today PORTLAND and write for catalogue. NOTHING SO GOOD FOR PRUSSIAN Makes Hem Lay and Keeps them laying. Caret Cholera, Roup and all Diseases. It Strengthen! Young Chicks and Belpi Them Grow. WOULDN'T BE WITHOUT IT.-Cnas. lack, Bosslla, Wash says ha wouldn't be without Prussian Poultry Food. PRODUCES ECCS. As an egg producer Prussian Poultry Food baa mo equal B. H. Payne, Painsvllle, Ohio. 25 and 50c Pkg. Prussian Poultry Book, FREE. - POBTLASD SEED CO., Portland. Or.. Coast Agents. Promptly IHesidlsicihie times when originality fta impossible in describing a wedding, and m saying good-by to the hostess at a party. ; ; ' - .-. ' ,; ' ' ! '. O Does your daughter's husband lore her as devotedly as ever?" "He does "when I'm around,' replied her daugh ter's husband's mother-in-law, grimly. Houston Post. The Anxious Mother Are yen sure my son has appendicitis? The Emi nent Specialist We can tell you bet ter, madam, after the operation. Life. . Perrin's Pile Specific The INTERNAL REMEDY Mo Case Exists it WU1 Not Cur. Wood Saws, Drag; Saws run Dy steam or gaso line engines, also the latest in saw mill ma chinery, stump pullers, well drilling; machin ery, etc, etc. Write for yonr needs. RE1ERS0N MACHINERY CO. . Foot of Morrison Street . Portland Oregon INVESTORS From $500.00 to $4000.00 a month can be mnd htr fartiea who can invest from $500.00 to 1500,00. One Eastern investor made $65,000.00 in 1903 Call or write for particulars. Tho Wm B. Whlto OOm, 312 Pine St., Fortland, Oregon. MILL BUY j Caftlm, Shmmp, Moo, Calvmm, also dressed beef, hindquarters and loins of beef, Yaal, Pork and Poul try. We fill country orders. SMITH BROS. Wholesale Butchers PORTLAND, OR. mm i " T Deserve your confl- ' dence. They have never failed won't fail now. Sold by all deslers. 1904 Seed Annual postpaid, free. vS' D. M. FERRY & CO. Detroit, Mich. Dizzu? Appetite poor? Bowels constipated? Tongue coated? Head ache? It's your liver! Ayer's Pills are liver pills, all vegetable. " j.o.areroo.. iwgwtauiw. Sixty yesrs. lowell, Kass! Want your moustache or beard a beautiful brown or rich black? Use BUCKINGHAM'S DYE nTT CTS. Q PRTTOniBTg OR B. P. BAH CO., 1CABHPA, W. H. "All SIGNS M. IN A DRY TIME IlMliN Of MflSfin FAILS INAWETTIHL Remember this whei,youbirYVet Weather Clothing and look for the Home iuwek on me cuuons. This sign and this name hove stood for the BEST during sixty-seven yeoxs of increasing sales. If .your dealer will not supply .you write for free catalogue of black or yellow water- j proof oiled coats, slickers, suits, hats, and horse goods for all kinds of wet work. A. J. TOWER CO, t THE 0WE;t BOSTON. MASK V.3.A. -f SICN X lAaw -t TOWER CANADIAN CO, S TORONTO, CAN. 1" WMP . Dr. C. Gee Wo WONDERFUL . HOME TREATMENT This wonderful Chi nese doctor Is called great because he cures people without opera tion that are given np to die. Be cures with those wonderful Chi nese herbs, roots, buds, barks and vegetables that are entirely un known to mpriicHl sci ence In this country. Through the use of those harmless remedies this famous doctor knows the action of over 500 different rem edies, which he successfully uses In different diseases. He guarantees to cure cattarh, asth ma, lung, throat, rheumatism, nervousness, stomach, liver, kidneys, etc.; has hundreds of testimonials. Charges moderate. Call and see him. Patients out of the city write for blanks and circulars. Bend stamp. CONSUL TATION FREE. ADDRESS The C Gee Wo Chinese Medicine Co. 2S3 Alder St.. Portland. Orezonu aVMeouou paper. P. N. U. No. 31904. WHEN -writing to advertisers pleasa I mention this paper. I jgtme yoaonwhea competent. OREGON CHICKENS AS THE I POULTRY FOOD Pbussiah Bkmkdt Co., St. Paul, Minn. cures all T Ti a .
