Corvallis gazette., April 03, 1903, Image 4

AMERICA'S PROGRESSIVE POLICY.
By Leslie H. Shaw, Secretary ot the Treasury.
After the Civil War the nation en
tered upon an extensive policy of inter
nal Improvement, subsidizing so long
as necessary transcontinental lines of
railway and permanently continuing
the subsidizing of rivers and harbors,
so after this later war we appear to be
entering upon an equally progressive
policy of external improvement. Not
as the crow flies, but as ships sail, it
is nearer from Liverpool to San Fran
Cisco via Cape Horn than from New
York to the same port via the southern
pxtremitv. Start two ships of equal
I. M. SHAW.
speed from Liverpool, going to our Pacific coast, one
through the Suez Canal and the other by Cape Horn, and
two vessels of the same speed from New York, one going
westward and the other eastward, and both English ves
sels will reach their destination before either of ours. Cut
the isthmian canal, and it Is nearer from New York to
Hong Kong via Nicaragua than from Liverpool to the same
point via the Suez.
We must have the largest merchant fleet ever kissed
by ocean breezes, and these carriers of international com
merce must be built of American material in American
yards by American labor. They are to be manned by
American sailors, fired by American coal or, more probably
oil. and they are to float the stars and stripes.
Whether this will be accomplished through government
aid or by American patriotism and American capital and
American energy I cannot say. Whether this consumma
tion shall be contributed to by statesmen or achieved by
financiers is Immaterial compared with the importance of
the thing itself. American wealth, American energy, plus
Hawaii, which is ours, plus the 'Philippine. Islands, which
are ours, plus the isthmian canal, which we will surely
build, transfers the sovereignty of the Pacific Ocean from
the Union Jack to the Stars and Stripes.
HOW YOUNG MEN MAY RISE.
I By Samuel Brill,
I began my business career as a newsboy.
My beginning in life was a humble one. I was
only 13 years of age when I left the school 1
was attending and started out to earn a living
Even at that early age I had a' thirst for knowl
edge and availed myself of every opportunity
to improve my mind. I picked up papers in the
street and bought second-hand books with the
few pennies I could spare and took them home
and read them evenings. Young men who are now
occupying subordinate positions in stores or workshops
have the same material from which to draw inspiration
and assistance that I had, the only difference being that
now there is more of It.
I only had $150 Avhen I started in business with my
brother, who had a similar amount, but I had what I would
to-day call courage, or a something within me that gave
me confidence to struggle on toward the goal of success
By keeping a ,careful watch on my expenses, by livinp.
vry simply, even after fortune had begun to smile on us
the business grew rapidly.
To-day we have over 200 employes in our four establish
ments. I have an excellent chance to study men, tc
analyze their motives and watch their efforts to get on in
the world. If young men will follow my advice, which
is born of experience, and will deny themselves what they
call luxuries in their younger days, say between 18 and
28, and save their money, when they are SO years of age
they will have accumulated a few hundred dollars .with
which to start in business for themselves or to lay the
foundation of a substantial bank account.. They can en
gage In the same line of business as their employer, on a
WITH PENCIL AND WITH INK.
A jittle boy came from his school one
day,
With his heart in a flurry of idee;
"Oh, papa! they've taken our pencils
away,
And I'm writing with ink," said he.
And his breast was filled with manly
pride,
For it joyed him much to think.
He has laid his pencil and slate aside,
And is writing his words with ink.
Ah, innocent child! could you guess the
truth
You would ask of the years to stay
Amid these slate-pencil doings of youthj
x.For a tear will wash them away.
But out in the great world of life and
men
The wrongs that we do and think,
We cannot so easy blot out again,
Because we then write them with ink.
I The Point of View I
ABEL TRAVERS stood at the
gate and watched her lover's
retreating figure until it dis
appeared round a bend Jn the road.
There was a discontented expression
on her handsome face as she walked
slowly back to the house and entered
her mother's drawnlng room.
Mrs- Travers looked up from her
work as MabeL with a little impa
tient sigh, threw herself into a chair.
"Well, dear?" she said brightly.
"Well?" returned Mabel In a tone
that implied the contrary.
"Is anything the matter?" asked her
mother. "You haven't quarrel with
Leslie, I suppose " she added, play
fully. "No yes at least, really, I'm not
quite sure," was the unexpected re
ply. ,
- "Tell me," said Mrs. Travers.
'.'Mother, it's horrible to marry a
poor man!"
Mrs. Travers looked at her daughter
in pained surprise.
"My darling!" she said, reproachful
ly. "Oh, I know I'm a wretch to say
It, and and perhaps I don't mean it
and yet and yet "
- "Don't be afraid to tell me, dear."
"Mother, Leslie and I have been
having a business tafk. That's what
he called It It was hateful!"
"But very necessary. Leslie was
wise, darling."
"Yes I .suppose so. He said that,
as we were to . be married so soon
now, lt was only right that I should
know exactly what he could offer me.
Oh, mother, I had no idea that Leslie
was so miserably poor!" -
- Mrs. Travers eyed her daughter with
a troubled look.
"He has never made any secret of
his income," she said. -
"I - know; but I didn't realize how
little it was till he went' Into all the
wretched details about rent, and serv
ants,; and housekeeping money, and
all the rest of it. Oh, it all seemed
so mean and sordid!"
smaller scale, and by studying the situation carefully ani
by keeping constantly on the alert, they will be able to
climb the Fader of success.
This is not Idle talk; it is experience. The young man
who is indifferent to Ills surroundings remains in a rut
The one who. is energetic, not afraid of work and Is
known as a bustler, commands a good salary or starts in
business for himself. - ' ' - "
HOW HUSBANDS ARE
"But musn't we show people that we love them?" asks
the adoring little woman despairingly. Yes, of course you
may, my dear, and if you do it wisely'you will lift up and
improve those to whom you give your heart and devotion
But all human things are fallible. Therefore you musl
temper your love with discretion and wise, far-seeing dis
crimination. Do not "spoil" your husband. Do not allo'w
the love which ought to be the guiding star of his HfO
which should be a stepping stone to higher things, to make
him into a selfish, exacting, fau'.t-finding person. .
It is common enough. A wife often becomes selfish
because of her husband's great love. A man who started
marriage with only a normal average share of masculine
selfishness is frequently transformed during the first year
of matrimony into an impatient, Inconsiderate man, who Is
always demanding, never giving.
If he discovers that you are awed before the majesty
of his criticism, he will be puffed up with an undue sense
of his impbrtance. By all means try to have everything
in the home life as perfect as possible. But do not let
him think that it. is all done for his sake done lest he
might complain.
"I never go away from home for a day without Tom,
lest he might not be so comfortable. I'm sure he would
feel terribly neglected If. I went off on a visit enjoying
myself, while I left him to the tender mercies of the ser
vant," continued Mrs. Smith. "But there's no satisfying
him." -
It would be the finest thing In the world for Tom If he
were made to feel "neglected" for a bit, while his wife en
joyed herself elsewhere.
If we have an "angel in the house" we are too apt to
be unaware of the privilege. Absence makes us miss her.
Tom would think a great deal more of his wife If she were
not always on the spot when he wanted her.
Sew York Merchant.
GOVERNMENT BY INJUNCTION.
By John Hltchell, President United Mine Workers.
false. So far as these injunctions are issued in
labor cases they are never issued excepting in such cashes
as call for the exercise of the criminal law. Government
by Injunction is not only hostile to organized . labor, bu
it is hostile to constitutional liberty. If the American
people do not check this arbitrary power, It will result in
the annihilation of labor unions and then of all other forms
of association disliked by capitalists.
And Mabel flung out her hands with
a little gesture of impatience. '
"I am very sorry to hear you say
that, Mabel," said Mrs. Travers grave- j
ly. "It it almost makes me afraid," s
she went on hesitatingly, "you ought .
never to have promised to marry Les-!
lie. Perhaps you are not the right
kind of wife for him, dear."
"Mother I"
Mrs. Travers rose from her chair and
laid her hand lightly on the girl's dark
head. -
"Tell me, child," she said, "do you
really and truly care for him?"
At this Mabel hid her face in her
hands and burst into a flood of tars.
"I I do love him," she sobbed, "but
but oh, I don't know what Is the
matter with me!"
And the girl spoke truly. She knew
that she loved Leslie, yet she was mis
erably conscious of disappointment
and disillusionment,- That day she
had realized, for the first time, the
prosaic meaning of a limited income.
She had been accustomed to think
vaguely of poverty as a rather ro
mantic kind of thing that made love
all the more delightful. Xeslie's state
ment of hard facts had scattered all
her pretty, sentimental notions to thof
winds. Her heart had sunk within
her as she listened to her lover's de
scription of their future home amod
est villa in the suburbs, with one maid
to assist her In her household duties.
She dreaded the prospect of all the
petty economies they would be obliged
to practice, and for a moment, though
she hated herself for it the next, she
had felt almost angry with Leslie be
cause he was not a richer man. She
loved Leslie, she told herself again and
again, and yet1 .
Something of all this the girl con
trlved to sob out in her mother's sym
pathetic ear, and as Mrs. Travers list
ened, the look of perplexity on her
face gradually changed to one of re
lief. - '
"I think I understand," she said.
"Oh, I'm a - horrid, mercenary
wretch!" cried Mabel. -
"No, I don't think, you're that," re
plied her mother, quietly, "only well,
want of money is never a pleasant
thing. We all love wealth- and pros
perity, and it's perfectly natural that
a woman should want her husband to
be rich rather than poor. I don't
blame you, dear, for regretting Les
lie's poverty; only I thought you cared
for him less because of" It- "
"Oh, no, no!" cried Mabel eagerly.
"Mother, you don't think that I meant
that!"
"I was afraid at first, when you
spoke so bitterly," replied Mrs. Trav
ers gently. "But I know now I was
mistaken."
"Mother, I'm beginning to see things
more clearly," said the girl, with a
sudden brightening of her face. "I
hate poverty, but I love Leslie. If Les
lie were a pauper I should groan hor
ribly, but I shouldn't give him up!"
Mrs. Travers began to laugh.
"Well, it isn't as bad as that, is It?"
she returned. "After all, Leslie has
quite a respectable income. I admit
SPOILED.
By Edith Joscelytu
An excellent proverb of Russia runs to the
effect that in the relations of two persons and
it is more true when one Is a man and the other
a woman "one kisses, the other turns the-cheek."
A too-adoring wife or a wife who shows her
love too much is very apt to produce a selfish
husband a man who Is' "never satisfied."
Thus, out of the very wealth of her love, she
proceeds to-, manufacture a selfish man!
Goyernment by injunction is one of the most
insidious, harassing and dangerous methods re
sorted to by the enemies of workingmen to de
stroy labor organization and to circumvent the
constitutional right of trial by jury.. The whole
system of government by injunction grows from
the distrust of the ultra capitalists for demo
cratic institutions The reasons given for the,
issuing of injunctions are always misleading and
it might be larger, but then, there's
every prospect of its increasing as time
goes on. Do you know, Mabel," Mrs.
Travers continued, "you're just a lit
tle bit inclined to exaggerate your fu
ture husband's straitened circum
stances ?" -
"Perhaps I am," admitted Mabel.
"But then "
"Oh, I know what Is In your mind,"
interrupted her mother. "Poverty is
always comparative, and so,' because
you, have been, accustomed to a big
house with plenty of servants, a lit
tle house with only one servant must
seem poor and mean to you."
Mabel looked puzzled. -
"You see," said Mrs. Travers, "when
you compare the big house with the
little one, you're comparing your fath
er's position with Leslie's, and the
one, you know, is nearly thirty years
older than the other."
"Oh!" exclaimed Mabel, with start
ling emphasis. "What a silly child I
am!" . - - r":
And Mrs. Travers smiled In a satis
fied way. She knew that her daugh
ter was cultivating the proper frame
of mind.
"And I never thought of thatH ac
tually expected Leslie to start where
father left off! Why. of course, it's
unreasonable. Mother, I remember
now what ydu told me once things
have come to you gradually. You and
father began just as Leslie and I are
going to begin!" .
"Well no, not quite," returned Mrs.
Travers.
"But you were almost as poor,
weren't you?" .' ...
Mrs. Travers laughed gaily.
"If you must, know, my dear;' she
said, "your father's salary when I
married him was exactly half the in
come Leslie is making now."
VMother," said Mabel, ""yon make
me more and more ashamed of my
self.'! "Oh, but ours was a dangerous ex
periment. You see, our income was
below the minimum of discretion." ,
"Anyhow, the experiment ended hap
,piiy." : . .
"As it happened."
Mrs. Travers blushed .charmingly.
"It was a risk, though, which I
shouldn't like you and Leslie to run."
"You think I don't love Leslie as
much as you loved father, and no won
der, after the way- I've behaved," said
Mabel, humbly. "Mothe"r, I wish I
wish Leslie were "as poor as father
was, so that I might show1 you "
The sentence was elliptical, but Ma
bel's mother understood. New York
News " . v
Dropping a Gentle Hint.
Timid Lover Your parents seem to
have gotten over their dislike for me?
"Yes. When we first met they were
afraid it might lead to something."
Life. ' ' '
Nothing pleases a busy man more
than -to set two chronic bores to bor
ing each other.
It takes a strong-minded woman to
convince herself that she la homely.
SINCE WE GOT THE
But that things they really needed lots of" times they done- without.
So we're breathln' somewhat easy, an' we're feelin less afraid , '
Of Providence's workin's, since we got the mortgage paid.
I wish I'd kept a record of the things that, mortgage ate,
In principal an lnt'rest from beginnin' down to date!
A hundred dozen chickens, likely fowls with yellow legs, "
A thousand pounds of butter, an' twelve hundred dozen eggs.
Some four or five good wheat crops and at least one crop-rtf corn.
An' oats an' rye it swallowed in its lifetime sure's your're born .
Besides the work an worry, ere Its appetite was stayed!
So we're feelin' more contented since we got the mortgage paid.
We'ye, reached the point. I reckon, where we've got a right to rest,
An' loaf aroun', an visit, .war our go-to-meetin' best
Neglectin' nothin1' urgent, understand, about the place, "
But simply slowln' down by bits an restin' in the race!
In time I'll get the windmill I've been wantin', I suppose;
The girls can have their organ, an' we'll all wear better clothes, .
For we've always pulled together, while we've saved an' scrimped ah' prayed,
An' it seems there's, more to work for since we got the mortgage paid.
STORY OF OLD ABE, THE WAR EAGLE.
For centuries the eagle has been the
emblem of liberty, the inspiration of
poets and the terror of his feathered
friends. The king of birds has fur
nished the story writer with count
less incidents, from aerial battles to
child stealing. One of Victor Hugo's
greatest poems begins: "L'aigle e'est
le genie Oiseau de la tempete, qui do
mont le plus haut cherche le plus haut
falte." The poet parallels the struggles
of genius with the battle of the eagle
for existence, till both spread their
wings in the plenitude of power.
These are the fanciful ways of look
ing at the bird of freedom, and It was
doubtless similar Ideas that Induced
the boys of the Eighth Wisconsin In
fantry to adopt Old Abe, the celebrated
war eagle, as their mascot in the civil
war. Abe's public career began In
1861, He had the true spirit the poets
sung of. Perched on his stick, Abe
fearlessly watched the horrors of twenty-seven
severe battles .and as many
skirmishes.-;' When his company was
mustered out the eagle entered civil
life with the grace he had shown in
war. He was exhibited through the
tcountry at soldiers' reunions, attended
the sanitary fair at Chicago, occupied
a prominent place at the Philadelphia
centennial, and was the means of rais
ing funds for many a good catise.
Abe gave the alarm of fire at the
Capitol, which broke out near his cage,
and when he was rescued it was found
the smoke had Injured his lungs. He
died March 26, 1881, and his body,
handsomely mounted, Is an object of
great curiosity in the War Museum at
Madison, Wis.
A REMARKABLE OLD WOMAN.
Bereft of Three Senses, Her Life la
Still Full of ennshine.
A most remarkable woman Is Miss
Lucy Reed, of Danby, Vt., who, al
though deaf, dumb and blind, leads a
useful and cheerful existence. Danby
is a quiet little village In the heart of
the Green Mountains. There for seventy-six
years Miss Reed has lived.
During sixty-five years she has been
in her present plight. At the age of
10 she suffered from scarlet fever,
which left her deaf. Loss of speech
soon followed, and a year later the
added misfortune of loss of sight was
visited upon her. But the little body
did not despair. She rapidly learned
to do all sorts of useful things about
the house. She darned the stockings,
mended the clothing and even made
new garments. She evinced a passion
for making patchwork quilts, in which
she became very expert.
The old woman cuts out the blocks
after various patterns which she de
vises herself, selects the colors by the
sense of taste or smell, and rarely errs
in the selection of the proper shade.
UNCLE SAM GOVERNS HIS
OBSERVING ONE
OLD ABE.
HE United' Spates government does not make use of the
sun in reckoning time, but instead one of the 'fixed stars" as
they are called. Every clear night an astronomer with a
big telescope looks at certain of these stars and makes bis
calculations, from which he can tell just when the sun
would cross the 75th meridian. One of the great clocks
In the observatory is called the transmitter, because It trans
mits or sends out the signal that keeps standard time. This
clock is set and regulated by the star-time and then every
day at & minutes and 15 seconds before 12 a switch is
turned on and the beats of the pendulum of this clock are
sent by electricity over the wires to the telegraph offices
In Washington and New York. When the telegraph .
operators hear this sound on their instruments they know
that the noon signal Is about to be sent out and they at ,
once begin to connect the telegraph wires writh other towns and cities until -In
a minute or two the "tick," tick" of the clock at Washington is heard in '
hundreds of telegraph offices. The beats stop at 10 seconds before 12 as a
notice that the next tick will be the noon signal, and so as to give the opera
tors time to connect tkeir clocks. There are time balls In a great many cities
usually on top of some prominent building, where they can easily be seen.
The one at Washington is on the roof of the State, War and Navy Depart
ment Building, at the top pf a high pole, ready to drop the instant the signal
comes over the wires.' In the government offices at Washington and in many
places In other cities there are large clocks connected with the observatory
by electricity. These are so arranged that when the 12 o'clock signal Is,
flashed over the wires the hands of each one of these clocks spring to 12,
no matter what time the clock may show; "in this way hundreds of clocks are
set to the correct time each day. : '
Well, the moment the sun is supposed to cross the 75th meridian the
telegraph Instruments give a single tick, the time-balls drop, the clocks
begin to strike and everybody In the district knows It la 2 o'clock.
MORTGAGE PAID.
E'VB done a lot of scrimpin an' llvln' hand-to-mouth.
We've dreaded, too, wet weather an we've worried over
drought, -
For the thing kept drawln lnt'rest whether crops were
good or bad.
An' raisin' much or little, seemed It swallowed all we
had.
The women folks were savin an there ain't a bit of
doubt
She selects her own threads' and
threads her own needles with her
tongue. It is said that her patchwork
quilts are as neatly and as attractive
ly made as any in that part of the
country. She also makes great quanti
ties of knit socks, which are sold for
her. The busy fingers are never Idle
for a moment. She is very cheerful
and extraordinarily fond of children.
Another sort of work which inter
ests the blind woman is the making
of pretty and tastefully arranged box
es out of cigar-box wood, covered out
side with plush and inside with satin.
She evinces great taste ln; the making
of this sort of work and her boxes
bring good prices at the county fairs.
All the money she makes by the sale
of her handiwork Miss Reed uses in
charity, for she Is a member of a well-to-do
family.
Tipped the Chief Justice.
Not unlike some other great men,
United States Chief Justice Marshall
gave little attention to dress or to per
sonal appearance, although Ms face
was unusually handsome. A story is
told of a young man who had recently
removed to Richmond. This newcomer
saw in the market a rusty-looking old
man making his waythrough the en
trance, and, walking up to him, abrutly
asked him if he would not like to make
a quarter, by carrying a turkey home
for him. The old man quietly took the
turkey and walked behind the newly
arrived citizen without a word until the
latter had reached his own gate.
"Catch!" said the young man, tossing
a quarter to his hireling.
The old man caught the ninepence,
and as he turned to walk away a gen
tleman passing by bowed deferentially
to him. .
"Who Is that shabby old fellow?"
asked the turkeybuyer. "
."The Chief Justice of the United
States," was the reply.
"Impossible!" stammered the blun
derer. "Why did he bring the turkey
why " "
"To teach you a lesson in good breed
ing," interrupted the gentleman. . "He
will give the money away before he gets
home, but I have no doubt he is enjoy
ing the joke you have so condescend
ingly given him." Lippincott's Maga
zine. .
The Girl that Everybody Lilces.
You, have undoubtedly met disagree
able girls who, without doing anything
especially spiteful or mean, have im
presed you as a girl to avoid. But have
you ever met the girl that you as well
as everybody else likes? You are unfor
tunate If you have not met her.
She is the girl who is not "too bright
and good" to be able to find joy and
pleasure all over the world.
She Is the girl who Is not aggressive
and does not find joy in inciting aggres
sive people.
She is the girl who never causes pain
with a thoughtless tongue.
She is the girl who, whether it is
warm or cold, clear or stormy, finds no
fault with the weather.
She is the girl who, when you invite
her to any. place, compliments you by
looking her best.
She is the girl who makes this world
a pleasant place because she Is so pleas
ant herself.
. And, by the by, when you come to
think of It, Isn't she .the girl who makes
you feel she likes you, and therefore
you like her?
Ninety Years In Same House.
Miss Sarah Wolstenholme, the old
est resident In Radcllffe, England, has
lived for ninety years' in the same
house. She is now bordering on her
ninety-fifth year.
CLOCKS BY
OF THE FIXED STARS.
HIGH ART IN BANK NOTES
Designers' Chief Concern la to Balk
the Ingenious Counterfeiter.
-First in consideration In making a
bank note is to prevent others from
making a counterfeit of it. Therefore,
all the notes of a certain denomination
or value must be exact duplicates of
one another. If they, were engraved by
hand this would not be the case. Hand
engraving is more easily counterfeit
ed than the work done by the process
actually used.
"Every note," said an official of one
of the leading bank note companies,
"Is printed from a steel, plate, in the
preparation of which many persons
take part. If you will look, at a $5
greenback you will see a picture in the
center, a small portrait, called the vig
nette, on the left and, in each of the
upper corners a network of fine lines
with a dark ground, one containing the
letter V and the other the figure 5.
"To make a vignette It Is first neces
cary to make a large drawing on' pa
per with great care, and a daguerreo
type Is then given to the engraver,
who uses a steel point to make on it
all the outlines of the picture. The
plate is inked and a print is taken
from it.
"While the ink is still damp the print
Is laid face down on a steel plate,
which has been softened by heating It
red hot and letting it cool slowly. It
Is then put in a press and an exact
copy of the outline is thus made on
the steel plate. This the engraver fin
ishes with his graver, a little tool with
a three-cornered point, which cuts a
clean line without leaving a rough
edge.
"Now, this plate is used for mak
ing other plates It is never used to
print from. It must be made very
hard, and this is done by heating It
and cooling it quickly, a little roller
of softened steel is then rolled over it
by a powerful machine until its sur-'
face has been forced into all the lines '
cut into the plate. The outlines of the !
vignette are thus transferred to the
roller in raised lines, and after the
roller is hardened it is used to roll
over plates of softened steel and thus
make in them sunken lines exactly like
those in the plate originally engraved.
"The center picture is engraved and
transferred -to a roller, like the vig
nette, but the network n the upper
corners and also on the back of the
note is made by the lathe. This ma
chine costs $5,000 a price that puts
It beyond the reach of counterfeiters.
Its work Is so perfect that It cannot
be imitated by hand. The lathe en
graves" the network on softened steel
and the figure in the middle of It is 1
then engraved by hand. It is now j
hardened and transferred to a roller
like the others.
"The plates from which the notes
are to h.e printed are of softened steel
and large enough to print four notes at
once. Four engravings of the note
must, therefore, be made on it, and '
f-hfe o ? rr rv T-tt j-vl 1 T n r V r hnn1nnv1 1
steel rollers containing the raised pic
tures over It In their appropriate
places until the pictures are pressed
Into its surface.
"The fine lettering around the bor
ders of the note is transferred in the
same way, but the other lettering is
put on by hand. This process saves
a great deal of time and it secures ab
solute uniformity in the four engrav
ings on the plate. .
"The back parts of the note are
printed first and when the ink is dry
the green back Is printed, to be fol
lowed by the red stamps and numbers.
It is then signed and issued. For
greater security one part of the note
Is engraved and printed at one place
and another part at another place,
when it is sent to Washington to be
finished and signed.
"But, needless to say, after all .this
care and all these safeguards many
skillfully executed counterfeits have
been made and issued, some of them
so good as to deceive expert judges of
money." New York Herald
f FORMER NEW YORK GIRL.
Now One of the Host Successful Enter-
tainera in London Society.
- One of the most popular American
women in London society Is the young
Countess Donoughmore, formerly of
New York. She Is
the daughter of Mi
chael Grace, broth
er of William R.
Grace, former May
or of the new world
metropolis. M i s s
Grace was one of
the belles of New
York and was noted
for her beauty, wit
and charms. She is
not unmindful, even
donotjghmobe. amid the gay scenes
of foreign society, of her old home, and
fremiMitlv visits New York. Her hus
band Is very weaitny, naving made
many millions In successful speculation
in South America. When In London
they entertain lavishly and the coun
tess Is regarded as one of the most suc
cessful hostesses in the English capital.
Skating & Very Old Art.
To what race belongs the credit of
having first invented skating is still a
problem over which men of science
are disputing. There Is much doubt
among historians upon the subject, for
traces have been found among pre
historic remains all over Northern Eu
rope indicating that the art was prac
ticed by primitive peoples. The Eski
mos of the farthest North are also
found to be in possession of runners
carved from whalebone. Skating Is
mentioned by a Danish historian about
1134, and Fitzstephen in his "History
of London" says that In the twelfth
century young men fastened leg bones
of animals under their feet by means
of thongs in order to lide along the
ice. This statement is confirmed by
the pair of bone skates of that period
now in the British Museum. It is like-
ly, however, that these early London-
ers borrowed the idea from Holland, '
probably via Lincolnshire, where
skates have been used on the frozen
fensf rom very remote times.
Not m Definite Reply.
Deacon Johnson What yo' doin'
now, Abe?
Abe Hardcase Cleaning out a bank.
Deacon Johnson Presiuent, cashier,
bookkeeper or janitor? Leslie's vWeek-
:
4 "Jr-
Sarcastic: Guest Walter, bring me
a beefsteak. A real large one, as my
eyesight Is very poor. Ex.
Economical Robbie: "Do you say.l
your prayers every night, Robbie?
"No; some nights I don't want any
thing." Ex.
Yeast "It's hard to keep a good man
down." Crimsonbeak "That's why
they put such heavy monuments over
some of them, I suppose." Yonkers
Statesman.
Softlelgh Are you quite sure Miss
Banks Is not in? The Maid Of course
I am. She gave me one of your photo
graphs in order to make me doubly
sure. Chicago Dally News.
"Bryan still seems to think he's very
much like Thomas Jefferson." "And
so he is." "Nonsense!" "Fact The
only difference Is that Jefferson is
buried." Philadelphia Press.
. Mrs. Upjohn "What beautiful floors!
How do you keep them so nicely pol-.
Ished?" Mrs. Gaswell (giving her the
Icy glare) "I don't I leave that to
the housemaid." Chicago Tribune.
Lawyer "Have you ever seen the
prisoner at the bar?" Witness "No,
sir; but I have "seen him many times
when I strongly suspected he had been
at it." Philadelphia Evening Bulletin
Mrs. Watts-Trumps Oh, yes; we
had a delightful time. We played
cards the whole evening. Mr. Watts
Trumps Nonsense, Lucy; we only
played between the anecdotes. Tit
Bits. Lady Caller (to old family servant
Well, Bridget, did Master Arthur shoot
any tigers in India? Bridget Of
coorse he did. Shure we have the
horns of the craychurs hung In the
hall! Punch.
Progressing. She ''How's the motor
car getting on. Sir Charles?" He
"Well, fact is, I've seen very little of
it. You see, I've only had it three
months, and when it isn't In the hospi
tal, I am." Punch. '
"If you kiss me again, sir, I shall call
my mother!" "What's the use of that?"
said Chollie Freshe; "you know I'd
prefer to kiss you, and, besides, your
father might object to my kissing the
old lady." Baltimore Herald. -
A Vision of Bliss. Rastus "Ab
dreamed ob heaben las' night." . Zeke
"Am dat so? An' what did it look
like?" Rastus "A monst'us big chick
en roose in de middle ob a wtermil
lion patch!" San Francisco Bulletin.
Subbubs We've got a new girl at
our house. Backlotz Hah! It's easy
enough to get a new girl, but can you
keep her? Subbubs The doctor thinks
so. He declares she weighs nine
pounds at least. Philadelphia Press.
Blessed sleep: "Supposing you
woke up some day and found yourself
a millionaire what'd you do?" "Go
right to sleep again, so that the knock
ing of the tax assessors on the door
wpuldn't annoy me!" Baltimore Her
ald. -
Satisfied Quite. Nervous Old Lady
"I hope your horse is quiet, cabman.
What's she laying back her ears like
that for look!" Cabby (complacently)
"Oh, that's only her feminine curiosi
ty, mum. She likes to hear where she's
a-goin' to!" Tit-Bits.
Why John Was Absent The follow
ing brief but explicit telegram was
sent from a near-by State to Georgia
recently: "Reason John didn't git
home fer Christmas wuz he stopped
in a hotel fer the first time in his life,
an' blowed out the gas." Atlanta Con
stitution. .
Tallent What's this? "Lost, a
house dog; a liberal reward will be
paid for his return." Why, man,
there's your dog out in the yard this
moment. Gllfore Yes; somebody'll
come along and steal him as soon as
that advertisement gets about Bos
ton Transcript.
Scribbler "Confound It Maria I
didn't I tell you not to let the baby
touch anything on my desk?" His
Wife "Well, you know I can't watch
her all the time. Has she done any
mischief?" . Scribbler "I should say
she has! r She's written a historical
novel." Judge:
Public spirit rewarded: "I see Sben
son is assessed twice as much -on his
personal property as he was last year."
"Yes; the assessor found out he was
the only man living in the block that
paid anything for having the street
sprinkled last summer, and we socked
It, to him." Chicago Tribune.
"I see It's become so .windy on the
corner where the Flatiron Building
has been erected In New York that
sometimes people are blown off their
feet." "How humiliating it must be
for a New Yorker to be carried off his
feet by anything that doesn't come
from Europe." Chicago Record-Her-ald.
: .
"Can't I sell you an encyclopedia?" f
asked the affable agent of the short
haired woman who meets him at the
door. "I believe not," she answers,
slowly closing the door; "I believe not
I am president of our culure club, and
I have heard all there is in all the en
cyclopedias several times over.
Judge. -
Mrs. Nextdoor "Your daughter has
improved wonderfully in her piano
playing." Mrs. Homer "I'm glad to
hear you say so If you are really sin
cere." Mrs. Nextdoor "Why. what do
you mean?" Mrs. Homer "Well, you
see, we. didn't know whether she was
Improving, or .whether-we were mere
ly getting used to it" Chicago Dally
News. ,
Lives Saved by Doss.
According to the monks of the hos-'
pice of St. Bernard, their famous dogs
gave on an average twenty lives every
year on the mountain. ;
Some of the money spent on fol-de-rols
in the parlor should really go to-'
ward buying hardware for thejiitchen
and tools for the man of the house to
work with. -
We wish we enjoyed preaching as
much as we enjoy a brass band. What
a good time we would have every Sua-'