Corvallis gazette., November 07, 1902, Page 4, Image 4

FRIENDSHIP.
What is the best a friend can be
To any bouI. to yon or me?
Not only shelter, comfort, rest
Inmost refreshment, unexpressed.
Not only a beloved guide
To thread life's labyrinth at our side,
Or with love's torch lead on before,
Though these be much, there yet is more.
The best friend is an atmosphere
Warm with all inspirations dear,
Wherein we breathe the large, free breath
Of life that hath no taint of death.
Our friend is an unconscious part
Of every true beat of our heart;
A strength, a growth, whence we derive
God's health, that keeps the world alive.
Lucy Larcom.
Love's Reward.
4
X
FHILIP had known her ever so
long, ever since she came here, a
little, rose-lipped child. He drew
her to school on his little cart,' he
taught her to ride when older, and
when her favor was no longer to be
won by snowy kittens or sugared
sweetmeats he had laid at her feet a
man's strong love, a heart that was
brave and loyal and true as steeL
And she she thought of the face she
had seen for the first time but one
short month before, the dark, hand
some face that had lighted into a look
of Involuntary admiration at sight of
her, the face of the wealthy city Btran-gerr-Edgar
Reynolds.
Only one month ago, and already the
lustrous eyes had learned to watch for
his coming, already the girlish heart
had learned to throb at his voice.
And he? No wonder he was fasci
nated by that fresh young face, and as
the days went by he smiled to see how
the love of the woman crept Into the
Innocence of the child. And so when
Philip Howard asked her for her love
Bhe had no heart to give him. She told
him so with womanly tenderness and
pity, and he had left her presence a
very sad, very silent man.
The following day broke fair and
bright, wkj golden sunlight on the hill
tops and June-time mists In the valley.
Along the white, winding road lead
ing to the village. In the coolness of
the dewy morning, walked Florence
Thorne.
The birds are singing their matins in
the tree tops; the brook is laughing as
it ripples o'er its pebbly bed. In the
midst of all this glorious sylvan beau
ty the elasticity of youth reasserts it
self, and the girl's step grows lighter,
her heart happier, till she almost for
gets her little troubles.
In the village she posts her letters
and turns to retrace her steps. She
meets many laborers on their way to
work, and each man touches his hat
and smiles pleasantly on seeing the
bright, pretty face, for, young as she
is, she has spent many hours helping
with kindly offices and gentle pity
their wives and little ones.
Coming home, she passes a house
that stands In its own grounds a
house with snowy curtains, stretching
verandas and a well rolled tennis
ground attached. It is far more pre
tentious than her own cosy house. And
well It may be, for it is the boarding
this rustic little village. It is
filled with fashionables Just now who
have fled from the crush and heat of
the city, and, among others, Edgar
Reynolds.
At the gate a sudden thought strikes
her. The housekeeper's little child is
very I1L She will go in and inquire for
her. No one save the servant can be
up yet. She pushes open the gate and
noiselessly flits up the garden path to
the rear of the house.
She accomplishes her mission and is
returning, when she sees fluttering on
the path before her a sheet of creamy
note paper. She picks It up and
glances around. It must have blown
from a window left open on retiring.
Yes, there is one directly overhead.
She Is about to take it to the house
keeper to return to Its owner, when her
eyes chance to fall on two words writ
ten in a firm, bold hand, "Florence
Thorne." It Is but a short letter, and
the girl, forgetting all honor in the in
tensity of her surprise, reads every
word of it almost before she knows
what she has done. It runs:
"Dear Will Expect me back on
Thursday. Am tired of rusticating. It
would have been an unbearable bore
were It not for an awfully pretty girl,
flirting with whom has helped to pass
the time. She Is the daughter of Allen
Thorne, the millionaire's brother, you
know. Made a fool of himself by
marrying a school teacher's daughter
years ago. Florence Thorne is a shy,
wild rose poor, pretty and proud as a
princess but I couldn't afford to ruin
my prospects for her, you know. Much
as I could do to keep from losing my
heart in earnest. Had half a mind to
throw over Agatha Vere's thousands,
but pshaw, the bank account carries
the day."
There is little more relating to busi
ness matters, then the letter closes
with the hastily scratched signature,
"Edgar Reynolds."
The girl stands stiff and rigid In the
bright morning sunlight, a great star
tled horror in her eyes. All the pretty,
childish beauty dies in the strained In
tensity of that gaze.
Hark! Is that some one coming?
For a moment she lifts her hand to
her head in a confused, helpless way.
Then, crushing the letter Into her
bosom, she turns and flies fast as her
leaden weighted feet will bear her
down the path, through the gate, along
the dusty highway home.
Her uncle came to her on receipt of
Philip Howard's letter, stating how 111
she was, his lonely old heart warming
with love toward his brother's orphan
child. As for Edgar Reynolds, he had
heard of her illness with his usual well
bred Indifference.
"Poor little thtng! Perhaps It's the
best way It could have ended after
all," he said, and so. congratulating
himself, he had gone back to town,
while Philip Howard, far out on the
broad Atlantic, a self-made exile from
home and friends,, carried in his heart
of hearts the picture of a lovely, wist
ful, girlish face, with shyest pansy pur
ple eyes.
Three years afterward James
Thorne's palace home is a blase of
J mmmm I (ftp
Oil cloth trays may be considered a
cheap and sloppy substitute for the
real thing, but If you will try them
once when making bromide or velox
prints you will continue to use them
for that purpose. Apart from the small
cost which enables one to have as
many trays around as solutions used,
there Is the cleanliness. Stains on
prints are common annoyances when
one tray Is used for various purposes.
Procure a few rough wooden frames
about three Inches deep and as large
as desired for the size you work, a
yard or two of white oil cloth and a
few tacks Is all that Is necessary.
Take a piece of the oil cloth
four Inches larger each way than your
frame and tack It around the outside
one and a half Inches from the edge.
The surface Is not so liable to scratch
your prints, and it is easy to clean
when through with. -
In his address before the convention
of the Photographers' Association of
America, Lucius W. Hitchcock said the
following, which is excellent advice for
any amateur: "Get your Impressions
from nature, and don't try to manufac
ture them in cold blood. Art is 'largely
a matter of seeing. It Is the same old
story of a young student starting out
with his sketching outfit, and walking
four miles to find something to paint,
and the master doing beautiful things
In his back yard. Not that everything
is beautiful, and worth painting, for it
isn't but there are lots of beautiful
things that you will pass every day
because you have not the eyes to see
them. Keep on the alert for beautiful
combinations and arrangements all the
time. You are just as apt to see them
in the street cars as anywhere else, and
if you store up a reserve of souvenirs
of this sort you will do more original
and better pictures. It is far better
than copying what another fellow sees
and does before you."
There is a wide difference of opinion
as to what is the perfect negative. Of
course,, the experienced worker will
make a negative for a certain paper
and with a certain object In view, that,
light and beauty. The massive doors
are flung open; the perfume of the
flowers floats out on the night air. The
soft, brilliant light from the chande
liers, through curtains of amber satin
and creamy lace, streams forth on the
street below.
She has received them all with a
sweet, Imperious grace wholly her own,
and is walking away, on a partner's
arm, when she looks up and sees be
fore her a late arrival Edgar Reyn
olds. The dark, debonair face is handsome
as of yore, and it brightens as If with
new life when he sees her.
"Florence Miss Thorne!" He has
sprung forward eagerly, and, regard
less of the presence of others, held out
both hands. " .
Florence Thorne looks up at him In
calm surprise. She does not smile; she
does not cry out. No tinge of the rose
flush dies from her face. The pansy
purple eyes do not droop; the lily hands
do not tremble, so sne lays ner nana
a moment in his, coldly, courteously.
"Have you come back ' at last at
last?"
"Yes, we returned a fortnight ago,"
rings out the clear, silver voice. "Cap
tain Arthur, will you take me to the
ballroom?"
She bows a trifle haughtily to Edgar
Reynolds, and leaves the drawing room
on her partner's arm.
The night goes by with the ripple of
laughter, the crash of music, the tread
of dancing feet -
Everywhere admiring eyes follow
Florence Thorne, and her uncle looks
fondly on and smiles to see the world
bow down before his darling.
"Such wit such repartee, such match
less grace!" they say. "She is the
beauty of the season."
"One dance, only one," pleads Edgar
Reynolds, "for the sake of old times."
She laughs, that clear, happy laugh
of hers, and leaves him. .
He stands where she has left him
and looks after her with hot, angry
eyes.
He has staid single and let Agatha
Vere's bank account slip through his
hands for the sake of this girl and
James Thorne's wealth.
Oh, now now for one hour of the
old dominion.
He sees a servant approach her in
the crowd, sees her bend her haughty
bead and follow him.
"I must have it out with her now,"
he says, clutching his hands fiercely.
"I must awake the old love to-night if
ever."
He follows her through the long, gas-
SHADOW PICTURES ON THE WALL
tnairar
Ohofofiraphii
-- W W
V5
'f it suits his purpose Is a perfect neg
ative, although it may be useless for
other papers. But It Is to dispel the
idea In the mind of the beginner, that
a perfect negative must be crisp and
clear, black and white. As most ama
teurs make "snap shots" and these
are as a general rule under-exposed,
they are especially liable to turn our
black and white negatives, more es
pecially If they use prepared develop
ers, which are mostly hydrokinone,-on
account of its keeping qualities in solu
tion. Now hydrokinone is a harsh de
veloper and only suitable for negatives
that have received ample exposure.
Ortol is a good all around developer
for snap shots, where pyro Is disliked,
but, with all its staining qualities, pyro
can be excelled. Pyro and metol in
combination is a developer that can be
adapted easily to long or short expos
ures by diluting the developer and a
much under-exposed negative can be
made to yield a fair print by leaving
It In a diluted pyro-metol developer
until well stained through the film.
Such a negative is a disappointment to
look at, but the print is better than
the negative in detail and contrast
The amber color of a pyro developed
negative, although thin, makes it a
slower printer than a much more
dense, black and white negative devel
oped in hydrokinone, metol, amidol or
rodinaL In the perfect negative there
should be only absolute opacity in the
very highest lights, such as thej
glancing of the sun on the crest of the i
waves, and absolute transparency only
, ii - i
wnere me lines retiuue ivf ue puic.
black. Between these two extremes
these must be even gradations through
all the tones and half tones. Over
exposure tends to produce the- middle
tones at the expense of the lights and
shadows. Under-exposure gives the
extremes at the loss of the half tones.
Thus in a known case of under-exposure
the pyro developer by its stain
retards the printing and tends to bring j
out on the paper every bit of detail
that Is in the negative, while black '
and white negatives, although rapid
printers, do not do themselves justice
on paper. Camera and DarkRoom.
lit room till, parting the velvet cur
tains at the end, she enters a cool, dim, '
shadowy alcove. !
He is just behind her, but draws
back quickly in the shade of a tall, 1
flower crowned pillar as he sees a man ;
turn from the marble mantel at the '
farther end of the room, against which !
he had been leaning a man bearded
and bronzed and travel stained.
"Oh, rhillp!"
The girl sprang forward, a gleaming
light in her eyes, a vivid color in her
cheeks.
kittle Flo!" he says softly.
It was the old pet name for her when
she was a little child. When she grew
up a "fair girl graduate, with golden
hair," she was "Miss Florence." Now
the old name sprang first to his Hps.
Both her slender white hands rest in
his own not reluctantly now. The
man in the shadow of the velvet por
tiere looks on with compressed lips.
Ah, he recognizes him now his rustic
rival of three years ago.
"Little Flo," he says again, and this
time his eyes are suspiciously moist
With a woman's quick perception she
sees It and withdraws her bands.
For a moment she is a shy girl again,
for she knows how, in spite of wealthy
suitors and a countess' coronet she has
faithfully guarded the love awakened
three years ago the true love that
flourished when the false love died.
"Have you no better welcome, Flor
enceno gift of love? Have I loved
and waited in vain? Oh, my darling!"
"Silence! This lady is my promised
wife."
It is Edgar Reynolds, white with
rage, who speaks, but Florence turns
to him with her calmest, sweetest
smile.
"You are mistaken, Mr. Reynolds. A
pretty girl with whom you flirted three
years ago helped to pass the time, but
she was only a shy, wild rose, and you
could not afford to ruin your prospects
for her, you know."
As she speaks she draws from her
breast and hands him a sheet of crum
pled paper.
Then she turns to the lover of her
childhood, girlhood, womanhood, and
lays her hands in his, and he clasps
the figure in Its trailing satin robes
close in his strong arms as "little Flo"
cries cut in alarm:
"Oh, Philip, you have crushed my
flowers!"
And Edgar Reynolds goes forth from
the room and forth from their lives,
and for once true love has its royal re
ward. Waverley.
- SOCIAL INSTINCT OF ANTS.
Inaecta "Who Preferred Duty to the
- . - : Call of Pleasure.
A swarm of formica pratensis was
closely pressed in its nest by an army
of the same species, and crowds of
alarmed defenders issued from the en
trance to the nest and flew to take
part in the fight. Like Satan, the
tempter of -old, I placed near them a
drop of honey on a piece of paper, says
a writer in the International World.
At any other time the honey would
have been covered - in a few instants
with ants gorging themselves, but this
time numerous working ants came
upon it, tasted it for scarcely a second
and returned to It restlessly three or
four times. Conscientiousness, the
feeling of duty. Invariably prevailed
over gormandism, and they left the
honey to go and be killed while defend
ing the community. -1 am bound to
own, however, that there are ants less
social in whom gormandism does pre
vail. ...
Compared to the manner of other so
ciable animals, and especially to those
of man, the manner of ants exhibits a
profound and fundamental aggregation
of facts of convergence due to their so
cial life. Let me mention devotion, the
Instinctive sentiment of duty, slavery,
torture, war, alliances, the raising of
cattle, gardening, harvesting, and even
social degenerescence through the at
traction of certain harmful means of
enjoyment. It would be ridiculous and
erroneous to see In the fulfillment of
this series of acts Individual reason
ing, the result of calculated reflection
analogous to ours. The fact that each
is fixed and circumscribed within one
species, as well as the fatalistic char
acter it has in that species, proves this
superabundantly. But It would be as
grave a mistake to refuse to recognize
the deep natural laws that are conceal
ed under this convergence. Is the case
different as regards our actions, though
they are infinitely more plastic and
more complex individually? I do not
believe it.
I have been unable to give more than
a short sketch of the social life of ants.
Let each one study it for himself and
he will experience in doing so the deep
enjoyment that comes from sounding
the secrets and laws of nature, while
at the same time he will enjoy the most
delightful satire upon human wretched
ness, and will perceive at least the
main lines of a social example that we
ought to be able to imitate, though we
cannot do so on account of the too large
dose of egotistical and ferocious in
stincts that we have inherited from our
ancestors.
DOCTOR WAS TOO CLEVER.
n anonymous physician who has
written some "confessions" for the In
dependent tells this story about him
self: "I received a -request to call
from an old patient who was afraid she
wal taking scarlet fever. I responded
at once. The patient was one of two
elderly sisters whom I had attended for
many years. I greeted her in the sit
in r room and noted her pulse while in
the act of shaking hands with her. By
some witty remarks I contrived to
make her laugh, which enabled me to
see her tongue. Then I said in a play
ful tone: 'If you will get me a glass I
will treat you to some of my patent
soda water.' - She did so. I put a tab
let in the water, and she drank it I
want you to know that I take pride in
my original methods. I try to educate
my patients to like, and not to dread,
the visits of the doctor. In this case
all of my work had been done without
the direct knowledge of the patient
and I felt very good over it So I bade
my patient good-by with extreme
cheerfulness. She looked surprised and
then said: 'Of course, you will come
upstairs and see my sister?' 'Not to
day,' I said. 'Give her my respects.'
Why,' she Said, looking mystified and
startled, 'how strangely you talk!'
'Strangely? I echoed. 'Why?' 'Be
cause I sent for you to prescribe for
my sister and you decline to see her.'
It flashed overbuy mind in an instant.
I had prescribed for the wrong sister.
I was entirely too clever."
Johnnie's Checker Story.
Paw he got th checkerboard,
An says, "Now, come here, son,
We'll spread th' pieces on th' squares
An' show you how it's done."
So I set down, an he moved first
Nen I give him a man.
'Nen he jumped me, an' chuckled out,
"Jest beat me ef you can."
'Nen I moved one, an' he took that,
An said not to feel sore.
Jest then I seen a zigzag line,
'Nen jumped an' I took four!
My paw he rubbed his chin, an' thought,
An says, "Um-m-m, lemme see!"
An when he moved, I saw my jump,
An' that time I took three.
'Nen paw he moved another man,
An' hitched up to the board.
I took that too, while maw looked on,
An' maw say, she jest roared!
Nen paw th' king-row's where he wants
To get, like anything,
Bui 'fore he knows where I am at,
I says, "Paw, crown that king."
'Nen I Jest moved the way they do
nrtum fhoro nt drip-arses store.
An' first thing paw knows he ain't got
No checkers any more.
'Nen paw gits up, an' slams the boardl
I can't say what he said
Twas somepin 'bout "smart Aleck kids,
'Nen he sent me to bed!
Woman's Home Companion.
Tree Turned Into a Newspaper.
A foreign paper tells of an experi
ment It was made to see how quickly
a tree could be turned into a newspa
At 7:35 a. m. a tree was sawed
down. Just two hours later it had
been converted into pulp and paper.
At 10 o'clock the first printed and
folded copy came from the press. In
145 minutes the tree had been turned
Into a newspaper. It now becomes the
Yankee to beat that record. Perhaps
It has been beaten, for something of
the sort was done in New York several
years ago. Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
Plainly Stated.
Mr. Yernlng If you will only mar
ry me, I promise you I'll make you a
good husband.
Miss De Termind Never fear! If I
decide to marry you I'll make you that
Philadelphia Press.
KING'S ODD RIGHTS.
EDWARD VII. RETAINS IMPOR
TANT PREROGATIVES.
Can Neither Die Nor Err la Not Sub
ject to Law and - la the Only Person
in the Empire Who Cannot Arrest
a Felon. -
The prerogatives of the king of Eng
land, though considerably curtailed by
a long series of enactments, are still
of great extent and of vast importance.
The theory of English law, as to the
prerogatives of the monarch. Is entire
ly inconsistent The law recognizes
him as an irresponsible being, and yet
the same law defines his powers. In
consequence of this position, the courts
have from time to time interpreted
what constitutes his prerogatives. For
a clearer conception of these various
"privileges," they have been divided
into four principal classes viz., per
sonal, political, judicial and ecclesias
tical. However ludicrous it may appear to
the untutored American, it is neverthe
less a fact (according to British stat
utes) that among the many rights
which have been taken from the sov
ereign are that he. .can neither die nor
make mistakes (7)7 but there may be
a demise of the crown, and thereby a
transfer of authority. Neither can he
be under age, and If so, a protector is
appointed for administrative purposes.
He is personally irresponsible for crime
or tort-and should Injury be inflicted
at the hands of the king it is attributed
to the blunders of his advisers.
A curious consequence of the entire
exemption of the monarch is that he
is the only person in the realm who can
not, under any circumstances whatever,
arrest a felon. The reason for this
is that, If the prisoner were Innocent,
no action for false imprisonment could
be brought against the crowned head.
The king is also exempt from taxa
tion, because, as the revenues is one of
his prerogatives, It would be useless
for him to tax himself, yet the lands
purchased from the privy purse are
taxable. No matter what debts he may
contract he can not be arrested or
his goods restrained or taken in exe
cution. This privilege of being exempt
from taxation applies to the palaces and
all public buildings of state. No ju
dicial process can be served in royal
residences, but this immunity does not
extend to buildings when not used as
a royal dwelling, such as Hampton
Court House. Holyrood House Is still
a sanctuary from civil process.
The king is the supreme executive
and co-ordinate authority, and Is par
amount to parliament which body he
can dissolve or prorogue at his pleas
ure, but he can not prolong the sessions
beyond seven years. In theory, parlia
ment exists only at the will of the sov
ereign, and a vote for a member' is
merely a franchise granted through the
graclousness of the monarch, and is an
inherent right of the subject
The king can refuse to assent to a
bill passed by parliament, though it
can be said that this right has not been
exercised since Queen Anne's reign,
when that sovereign refused to sign
the Scottish militia bill. The ruler Is
not bound by any act of parliament
unless he is named therein, and like
wise, any proclamation Issued by the
king is only binding when founded upon
and conforming to the common law;
neither can he create any new offense.
The right of the crown to grant let
ters of denization has been preserved,
as has also the valuable power to
grant peerages at will, when not re
strained by act of parliament. The
right of the king to have supreme com
mand of the army and navy was con
tested by the long parliament. Parlia
ment has not, as yet, sought to de
prive the king of his commercial rights,
which consist of the coining of money,
regulating weights and measures, es
tablishing markets, fairs and seamarks.
He is the sole power in constituting cor
porations. Some of his prerogatives,
such as being the "paient of infants,
idiots and lunatics," are exercised
through ministers and a board of trade.
His Judicial prerogatives proclaim
him to be the "Fountain of Justice."
A learned commentator has said that
in being the "fountain of Justice" It
Is not considered that the king is the
author, only the distributer "not the
spring only the reservoir." As supreme
judge, the king can appoint all the judi
cial officials (except In certain lower
courts) who act as his deputies and, as
"supreme conservator of the peace"
through the lord lieutenant In coun
ties and the lord chancellor In cities
and boroughs.
The king is the head of the church.
By virtue of this prerogative he con
venes, dissolves convocation, nominates
the bishoprics and other church pre
ferments. He Is the supreme court In
all ecclesiastical affairs, though this
appellate court is now vested In a Jud
icial committee of the privy council
with archbishops and bishops as as
sessors. The dean and chapter of the
cathedral cannot proceed to the elec
tion of a bishop without the king's per
mission to elect When any benefi
cence is vacant by the promotion of the
Incumbent to a bishopric, other than
a colonial bishopric, the king has the
privilege of appointing. Whenever a
new bishopric Is created it Is under the
power of an act of parliament
It seems to be as head of the church,
says a writer In the New York Times,
that the king grants licenses to hold In
mortmain, though the right now ex
tends to lay as well as to ecclesiastical
affairs.
NEW PIPES FOR SMOKERS.
Come from Philippines and Some Use
ful for War Cluba.
The Increase In the number of tourists
to the Philippine Islands has flooded
' New York with various styles of pipes
j that are new to local dealers. They are
In the main unique and are more valu
i able as ornaments and additions to col
1 oof Inns than for the actual satisfaction
obtained from smoking them. Yet pipe
smokers who always are on the lookout
for something novel have grabbed them
up and wouldn't trade an old reed stem
and coblike bowl for the finest meer
schaum in town.
. The large Morro pipe, which is Intend
ed to serve as a war club when not oth
erwise in use, Is by fax the most novel
of the recent Importations- from the
Philippines. It has an immense stem,
covered with short barbs, and the bowl
is of sufficient weight to make it a dan
gerous weapon when wielded by a na
tive Filipino. There are several of these
Morro pipes in this city, and smokers
have taken to them with alacrity sim
ply because they are queer.
One pipe smoker is the owner of a
highly prized specimen that was carved
out of a steer's horn. A bowl of briar
was Inserted at the end and connected
with a reed stem tipped with amber.
He spends his evenings smoking, his
pipe and couldn't be Induced to try any
other. It is heavy and .hard to handle,
but he likes it, nevertheless. .
Some curious designs are to be found
in the collections of pipe smokers who
appreciate carving. One man who con
sumes a pound of tobacco every week
smokes from a snake's head ingenious
ly worked out of French briar. Another
finds satisfaction In a bowl represent
ing a dog's foot The human skull has
also been counterfeited to meet the fan
cy of the pipe smoker. Philadelphia
Ledger.
One of the best dog stories which has
been told in a long time is related in the
Nashville Banner. The narrator of the
anecdote was driving in a town in Mis
sissippi with the owner of the dog. To
show the animal's cleverness he got out
of the carriage, held his pocketbook to
the dog's nose, and then taking there
from a half-dollar, hid it under a large
rock. The men drove on for a half
mile, and then the dog was commanded
to fetch the half-dollar.
The animal, without the least hesita
tion, started back on a run, and my
friend explained that as the rock was
heavy the dog would be unable to turn
It over, so would have to scratch under
It to reach the piece of money, and it
would naturally take him some time. It
did, for he had not appeared when we
retired, about 10 o'clock.
Early the next morning we heard a
sharp bark at the door. When the door
was opened in rushed the dog, draggin
with him a pair of trousers which he
dropped on the floor.
Of course we were mystified, but the
explanation soon came In the shape of
a neighbor who lived several miles dis
tant He rode up on a mule, and In
quired If a dog with a pair of trousers
in his mouth had come into the house.
Just then the pointer walked out on
the porch, and the man exclaimed,
"Why, there's the dog now."
The caller said that late in the after
noon of the day before he found the
dog scratching under a large rock near
the road, and thinking he was after a
rabbit, stopped and lifted the rock up,
and to his surprise found a half-dollar
underneath. He put the money in his
pocket, and the dog followed him home.
The dog appeared to be friendly, and
the man petted him and gave him his
supper.
At night when the family retired the
dog was put out of doors, but he kept
up such a racket .that no one on the
place could sleep, and when the man
opened the door to drive the animal
away he rushed Into the bedroom and
at once became quiet He lay down near
the foot of the bed and slept there all
night
Early, In the morning, the man said,
he got up and opened the window, and
the instant he did so the dog seized his
trousers, and jumping out the window
fled with them. The man followed as
soon as he could get his mule.
Of course my friend searched the
pockets of the trousers which the dog
had brought, and there found the half
dollar. The Quiet Man in the Corner.
I lingered o'er a checker game a uight
or two ago;
The one who played against me seemed
to have no ghost of show;
I had a bunch of lusty kings that strutted
all about
And bullied my opponent's men, who
dared not venture out
'Way over in a corner shrunk a timid
little man
Who staid right in his station ever since
the game began.
He watched my crowned heads marching
by with banner and with song,
And seemed to be discouraged over stand
ing still so long.
But pretty soon an opening occurred two
blocks away,
And not another moment did that little
fellow stay,
He bounded o'er the board and took three
kings in one fell swoop,
Then landed in my king-row with a wild,
ecstatic whoop.
You've known these quiet fellows that
just sat around and thought
And never made a noise while the others
raged and fought;
The whole community had come to think
of them as dead,
Or else so very near it that their hope of
fame had fled.
The chaps with recognition for their por
tion pose and strut
And seem to overlook the man who keeps
his talker shut
But some day, when 'most every one is
looking t'other way,
This quiet fellow sees a chance to break
into the play.
He reaches out and grabs things that
the others had ignored; ,
He puts into the life-game all the energy
he's stored
Through all the years of silence. So
you'd better not forget
A still man in the corner, for he'll reach
the king-row yet!
Los Angeles Herald.
Good Figuring.
School teacher, examining the class.
lights on the youngest, and is so struck
with .his Intelligent aspect that he
questions him forthwith:
"Now, my little man, what do five
and two make?"
The little one remained silent
"Well, suppose, now, I were to give
you five rabbits to-day and two more
to-morrow, how many rabbits would
you have then?"
"Eight," promptly answered the
juvenile.
"Eight! Why, how do you make
that out?"
"'Cause I've got one to home al
ready." Cincinnati Enquirer.
The average girl may not be able to
name the postmaster general, but she
can tell what kind of a marriage serv
ice Is being used before the minister
has read half a dozen lines.
I' HE GOT THE HALF-DOLLAR.
' . -
She He declares he loves the very
ground I tread upon. He Ah! I
thought he had his eyes on the estate.
Harvard Lampoon.
Subbubs Why are yon sneaking Into
the house so quietly? Commute Shh!
The cook has company, and I do not .
wish to disturb them.
I can safely say that no man ever
attempted to bribe me, gentlemen.
"Don't be down-hearted, old chap;
your luck may change."
Cltlman I see you raise your own
vegetables. Suburbanite No! I sim
ply plant a small garden so as to keep
the chickens at home. Life.
The Lawyer I really hope I don't
annoy you with all these questions.
His Fair Client Not at alL I'm used
to it I have a 6-year-old son.
He I fancy men believe In friend
ship rather more than women do. She
Possibly; but the great trouble is It's
generally their own friendship they be
lieve in. -r
Wlseum Honestly, now, did yon
learn anything while you were In col
lege? Graduate Um-m well, I learn
ed how to state my ignorance hi scien
tific terms.
Is your family fond of cereals, Mr.
Jumpup?" "Oh, very! we're reading
several in the Parlor Portfolio now,
and can't hardly wait from week to
week." Philadelphia Bulletin.
Cassldy Shtop klckln' about yer
hard luck, man! Some mornln' yell
wake up an' find yersel' famous.
Casey Faith, O'U bet ye whin that
mornln' comes 'twill be me luck to
overslape mesel'.
Mrs. Hiram Offen I hope you wash
ed the fish thoroughly before you put
in on the broiler. Delia. Delia Shure.
what would be the use of thot, ma'am?
Hasn't it been livln' In the water all Its
loife? Philadelphia Press.
"Oh, well, my dear," observed he to
his wife, "you will find that there are
a great many worse men In the world
than I am." "How can you be so
cynical, John?" replied his wife re
proachfully. Syracuse Herald.
Silas So Zeke won't have anything
but first-class literature? Cyrus No.
Why, he wouldn't even subscribe to a
magazine because he saw "Entered as
second-class matter"- on the front
page."
Superintendent It Is our usual cus
tom to let a prisoner work at the same
trade in here as he did outside. Now,
what is your trade? Shoemaker,
blacksmith or " "Please, sir, I was
a traveling sales-man."
Constance I am going out in Algy's
launch. Penelope But naphtha launch
es are very dangerous. Constance 11
know It But Algy gave me the choice:
of either going out with him on his:
naphtha launch or his sailboat
"I see a crank out West announces
his invention of a 'theater hat for la
dies that will shut , up when the cur
tain rises.' " "If "he'd only Invent at
box party that would do that he'd de
serve a medal." Philadelphia Press.
"Here's a letter from Mirandy at col
lege. She says she's In love with Ping:
Pong." "She Is, hey? Well, she'd bet
ter give "him up. We ain't goln' ter
stand fer no Chinaman marrying inter
this family." Woman's Home Com
panion. Mr. Skinner You'll have to wait at
while for your wages this week. I
can't pay you to-day. Clerk See here
now, that won't do, sir. I've got to
live, you know. Mr. Skinner Non
sense! What put that idea Into your
head. Chicago Tribune.
Lady (to furniture clerk) I like the
Louis XIV. and the Louis XVL designs
equally welL It wouldn't do, sup
pose, to have both chairs la the par
lor? Clerk Oh, yes, madam: they
would harmonize weHS-oaty two- years'"
difference, you see. Judges
Teacher (to class to geography)
And who knows what the people who
live in Turkey are called? Class (unan
imously) Turks! Teacher Right Now,
who can tell me what those living ' in
Austria are called. Little Boy Please
mum, I know. Ostriches! Judge.
Hasty Harry Wat youse fishin'
here wldout any bait for? Don't youse
know dat fish won't eat a bare hook?
I Strenuous Stove (scornfully) W'at!
I Don't youse see dat If de fish don't
bite I ain't got to go to de trouble o
takln' 'em off'n d' hook. Where's yes
perfeshional Instinct?
"Oh, maw," said the 10-year-old
hopeful, "do you see how wet, my
clothes are?" "Yes, young man,"
spoke mamma, sternly, "and you have
been in swimming." "No, maw."'
"Then how did you get wet?" "Why,-,
some boys wanted me to go In swim
ming, and I ran away so fast I per
spired." "Young man," said the Irish magis
trate, as a youthful prisoner was-,
brought before him. "I would advise?
you to make a full confession if yout
want to get off with a light sentence.'"
"And if I don't confess, then what?'"
asked the young man. "Oh, in that
event," replied the magistrate, "I shalU
probably have to acquit you for want
of evidence."
The Flrst-Bornr "Yes, It took my
wife and me and my mother and my
wife's mother and two sisters and an
old aunt of mine and half a dozen of
I our cousins to pull our first baby
1 through till it was 2 years old." "And
I did the little one become stronger by
I that time?" "No, we had another by
that time, and came out of the dream."
Chicago Record-Herald.
Boom for More Improvement
Prison Director What, you here
again for burglary? When you left
here three weeks ago you said that you
had become a much better man.
Prisoner Yes, sir, but I want to be
come better still! Helter Welt
Located.
Canvasser I would like to see the
lady of the house.
Mistress Certainly. She is working
back In the kitchen.
Fishing cultivates patience,
will please take notice.
Ladles