LIEUTENANT ROBERT E.
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M PEAKY AMD HER BABY
r IEUT. ROBERT E. PEARY'S lat-
JLa efrt las51 t0 the 1)016 em,ed at 84
degrees 17 minutes north latitude
343 miles from the pole. At this point
he was compelled to turn back, not be
cause of physical exhaustion or lack of
supplies, but because the Ice cap was
impassable for men on foot, in sledges,
or in boats.
While Lieut. Peary did not equal the
Duke d'Abruzzi's record of 80.33, and
Nansen's mark of 86.14, he set a new
American record. Heretofore the high
est American record was that of Lock
wood, of the Greely expedition, who
reached 83.24 degrees north latitude, in
1882.
At 87.47 north latitude Peary found the
ice cap broken by immense ridges diffi
cult to surmount. Great fissures opened
In the ice in every direction. Dense fogs
made traveling almost impossible.
The north pole his goal, and possession
for the United States of the far-off limits
of the world his ambition, Peary launch
ed the little band of which he was the
leader upon its plunge into the frozen
land of mystery in 1S9S. Hope was
strong within his breast, and his plans,
maturing through the years he had spent
in the region for which he was bound in
his previous ineffectual dashes north
ward, seemed to provide for every contin
gency that might arise.
It wdas not to be a quick rush through
the ice-bound region. Rather was it to
be a siege. Peary was convinced that the
only way in which he might accomplish
his great aim would be to go forward
prepared to remain for several years if
necessary, fortifying each Btep in advance
of the main body of his expedition so he
might safely fall back a fraction of the
way If compelled to do so and still be
ready at the instant conditions changed to
push on once more. Relief expeditions
wore arranged to go up after him each
year, ready to take him back to civiliza
tion If he had gained what he sought, or
to return without him if he still had his
task before him.
Privations of the sort that drive the
bravest men from their appointed mis
sions confronted the daring explorer in
the four years that he spent in the frozen
fastnesses of the North, cut off from all
civilization, his friends and supporters
In doubt most of the time whether he
till lived.
Lieut. Peary made his first exploration
of the North in 1880, when, having been
granted leave of absence by the Navy
Department, he penetrated far into
Greenland and reached an elevation on
the Greenland ice never before attained
by a white man. He also reached the
first of his race to accomplish as much
the interior plateau of unchanging arctic
snow.
In 1891 he made his second venture, ac
companied by Mrs. Peary and a imall
party. His hope was to discover the
northern limits of Greenland and seek to
push on to the pole if possible. Before
he wai well on the way his leg was brok
en in an-accident to his ship in the ice
floes. It was the following spring be
fore he could renew his journey, and then
he set out with one companion and his
dogs and sledges. July 4 he reached his
goal, the northern cud of Greenland, and
there he ran up the American flag. A
bay stretched before him, and this water
he named Independence Bay in honor of
the day. Across the bay was land, visi
ble, but not attainable. He returned
home.
His nextxxpedition was begun in 1893,
after he had overcome the most trying
obstacles in the matter of gathering auffi-
N the James River some miles be-
low Richmond Is a plantation
manor house that was built in
1600. About the middle of the last cen
tury the owner of the estate was a
widow, Mrs. Margaret Ritchie, who had
two twin daughters, Barbara and Eliza
beth. Mrs. Ritchie was very wealthy and
very ambitious. She took her daughters
to Europe with a Tiew to their marry
ing noblemen.
A German baron proposed for Bar
bara and was accepted by the mother,
who did not consult her daughter in the
matter, intending, if necessary, to en
force obedience. The mother did not
know that Barbara had a love affair
with a lieutenant in the United States
army, Theodore Benton, a fine young
fellow, but without a cent in the world
except his pay.
Had she been aware of this attach
ment she would not have brought her
daughter back to America, which she
did, thinking it proper that the baron
should come for her at her own home.
Soon after her return Barbara met
Lieut. Benton at one of the houses fac
ing the capitol over which soon was to
float the Confederate flag. Already
there were mutterlngs of the great
struggle to come. Benton was a North
ern man, and both knew that this
would be an additional reason why Mrs.
Ritchie would never consent to their
marriage.
Benton urged her to marry him at
once without her mother's consent, but
she dared not Soon after, while Benton
and Barbara were still in Richmond,
came the news of the firing on Fort
Sumter." Benton hastened to find Bar
bara, told her that he must at once
make his way north and again urged
her to marry him.
She consented, a clergyman was call
PEARY AND FAMILY AMD
THE'WiriD'WABD?
north faSs!
A R CiT IC )
MAP OF THE REGION TRAVERSED BT PEART.
The map shows the route taken by the explorer. Following Is an explanation of the
letters In tue map: aa, Nansen's farthest north; no other Arctic explorer has reached
this point, bb. Latitude reached by Lock wood and Bralnard. cc, Arctic circle. A,
Whale Bound, where Peary's Eskimo attendants were taken aboard. B, Sherrard Os
born fjord, Peary's base of supplies. C, Depot at northern terminus of land.
cient funds to make the journey a possi
bility at all. Matt Henson, the black
body servant, was with him this time
and was his constant companion in all the
arduous struggles that followed. His
ship, the Falcon, returning after landing
him on the northern shores, was lost, and
dissensions arising among his followers
he was left with only Henson and an
other companion, Hugh J. Lee.
In 1S95 he set out with his two compan
ed, and the two were made man and
wife.
Benton reached Washington safely.
Barbara went home to her mother and
broke the news of her marriage.
The next summer those at the Ritchie
plantation listened every day for a
week to the distant boom of cannon in
the battles about Richmond.
Then a sound, like a storm that had
come, roared from the top of Malvern
hill, but a short distance away. Even
ing had come and with it only the
cracking of rifles on the picket line
when a young officer rode up to the
plantation, announced himself as Liept
Benton and, upon being told that the
family were there, demanded to see his
wife.
Mrs. Ritchie came Into the drawing
room and received him with a haughty
manner by no means softened by the
fact that he was an invader of her State
and her plantation. She told him that
Barbara was ill and that she did not
wish to see him. When the war ended
she would apply for an annulment of
the marriage. Benton flatly refused to
believe the statement. Since he was
with an army, Mrs. Ritchie could not
have him rejected. She therefore resort
ed to strategy.
"If my daughter eomes into this room
and confirms what I have said, will you
believe her?"
"I will."
Half an hour later a young girl stood
upon the threshold, pale apparently
with illness. Benton seeing what ap
peared to be the shadow of his jwife
stepped forward. The girl motioned
him baefc.
"Theodore," she said, "I did wrong in
marrying you without my mother's con
sent. "Go away. I wish never to see
you again."
Benton staggered from the house,
mounted his horse and rode away.
Two years later Grant laid a pontoon
bridge across the James, advanced to
Petersburg and besieged the -place.
During tb passage of the Union troops
across the river, an officer rode up to
the Ritchie plantation, and without dis
THE SHIP "WINDWARD.
ions to cross the great ice cap. Lee fell
ill and was left behind. Peary and Hen
ton reached a latitude of 81 degrees 47
minutes, ten miles farther north than the
explorer had gone before, and, then, ac
tually starving, were forced to turn back.
They picked up Lee and beat their way
back to where they had started from. It
was after all these disappointments and
privations that Lieut. Peary decidedTon
this last expedition.
mounting handed a negro a note ad
dressed to Mrs. Theodore Benton. It
read:
"Are you of the same mind as in the
summer of 1802? If so, I will go away,
and when you wish an annulment of
our marriage I will not oppose it
"THEODORE."
In a few moments Barbara appeared
at the door, and between hysterical
tears and laughter held out her arms.
Benton sprang from his horse to her
embrace.
The first piece of news the husband
received was that Mrs. Ritchie had
died; the second was an explanation of
the renunciation which had occurred
when Benton had been there before.
Mrs. Ritchie was a woman who, when
her mind was made np, would stop at
no means which she regarded legiti
mate to accomplish her object She con
sidered that her daughter had been
stolen from her. Therefore she had a
right to repossess herself of her own
property. She would not He. She had
asked Benton, "If my daughter comes
into this room and confirms what I
have said, will you believe her?" Then
she ordered Elizabeth to personate her
sister. Elizabeth, without strength of
character to resist her mother, had
done as she was told. Barbara, On the
arrival of her husband, had been locked
In her room and had not known of the
outrage that had been committed until
after her mother's death, when her sis
ter confessed and begged forgiveness.
Barbara, when she learned how she
had been misrepresented to her hus
band, was in agony. She bad resolved
to go north in search of him when the
Unlqi troops appeared.
Benton sent a note to his command
ing officer announcing that he had
found a loving wife, and asking that a
leave be granted. It was given, and
that night the wedding was celebrated,
not by the attendance of the neighbor
ing planters, but by the rejoicings of
the negroes for whom with then new
master the day of jubilee had at last
come.
PAQAN RITES IN SCOTIA
V7 BcottUh f oatm that OfIW
nated i 8uprtItion.
. Nearly all travelers in central Africa
have referred to the curious customs
prevalent among all pagan native tribes
of driving quantities of nails Into sa
cred trees and other objects that have
been adjudged worthy of veneration,
and this not in malice, but as a religions
rite, the nails in question being intend
ed as votive offerings. Exactly the same
thing may be witnessed to-day at the
sacred well of St.Maebruha, in Loch
Maree, Rossshire, where Is an ancient
oak tree studded with countless nail3
of all sizes, the offerings of Invalid pil
grims who came to worship and be
cured, says a writer In Stray Stories.
Pennies and half-pennies also are to
be seen in enormous quantities driven
edgewise In the tough ; bark, and a
friend of the "writer's who visited the
spot some little time back discovered
in a cleft high up to the trunk what he
took to be a shilling. On being extract
ed, however, it proved to be counter
feit. Probably the donor, finding that
he could get no value for his coin In
the natural world, concluded he might
as well try, as a last resort, what effect
it might have on the spiritual.
Of course, the poor cottars and oth
ers who flock to - St. J Maebruha with
their nails and their pence do not for a
moment admit that they are assisting
at a pagan ceremony. But they most
undoubtedly are. Well worship has al
ways occupied an Important place In
paganism, and the sacred oak, before
which each pilgrim must thrice kneel
ere humbly presenting his offering
what is it but an obvious survival of
the sacred groves of Druldical times?
THE FUN Of CAMPING OUT.
More and more popular la camp lift
becoming each year, says Country Life
In America. With those who go into
the deep woods in quest of big game
and fish the camp life Is, after all, the
real attraction, and not the mere de
sire to kiU." But where one can, make
these trips there are thousands who
cannot. For these there are peaceful
rivers, wood-girt lakes and ponds and
beautiful spots on the shores of Old
Neptune available for quite as charm
tog a two-weeks' outing beneath can
vas. In making up a camping party,
choose you . such congenial spirits as
shall be. foresworn to philosophical
optimism. : r; '
And let there be a wag among them,
who, catching the humor of every sit
uation; puts to flight all thought of
discomfort A level site near a spring
with plenty of shade, a pleasant shee
of water with good fishing, pine boughs
for a bed and driftwood for a fire,
and who would trade his life for a
king's patrimony? How delicious the
fish flavored with the pungent smoke
of the fire! How rarely satisfying the
simple bill of fare, and how few, after
alL are the needs of this Hf el Yours
is the joy and happy freedom of the
gypsy and vagabond." You have be
come a species of civilized barbarian,
and It Is ifood. Sunshine or shower,
what matters it? You take what
eomes and give thanks, and if you are
of the right sort some of the beauty
of each Is absorbed into your very
nature. Long days, lazy days, but hap
py days, are the days in camp. Hap
and mishap will don the Jester's cap
and bells and parade through memory
many a time during the after months.
BANKRUPTS IN LIVERY.
Carious Laws Once Enforced In En
gland and Scotland.
At one time England and Scotland
bankrupts were compellled to wear a
distinctive dress. This was a result
of enactments passed at various times
in Scotland from the year 1606 to 1688.
The Edinburgh Court of Sessions speci
fied the dress to be of partl-color, one
half yellow and the other brown, some
thing after the style of the dress now
worn in English prisons by the worst
class ofprlsoners, those who have at
tempted to escape or been guilty of
murderous assaults on officers. The
enactment also provided that the bank
rupt should be exhibited publicly in the
market place of his town for a period
of two hours and then sent away, con
demned to wear the dress until such
time as he had paid his debts or some
one else had done it for him.
Although this was a period of laws
which can only be described as fero
cious, this law was such an outrage
on public sentiment that to 1688 it was
so far repealed that the wearing of the
dress was only compulsory to cases
in which fraud had been proved, or,
curiously enough. If the bankrupt had
been convicted of . smuggling'. The
same practice was legal, but not gen
erally to force in England down to the
year 1836. The Idea was, of course, to
warn persons who might have given
credit that the bankrupt was not able
to pay, but popular sentiment soon rec
ognized that it was wholly unfair to
Impose excessive penalties on a man
who might have become bankrupt
through no fault of his own, and, as
usual, when the law became contrary
to public feeling it ceased to be op
erative. Original View of an Old Tar.
Few persons who take out life Insur
ance postpone that action so long as did
an old English sailor who recently ap
plied for a policy. When he presented
himself at the insurance office he was
naturally asked his age. His reply was
&4. "Why, my good man, we cannot in
sure you," said the agent of the com
pany. "Why not?" demanded the appli
vant '"Why, you say you are 94 years
of age." "What of that?" the old man
cried. "Look at the statistics' and they
will tell you that fewer men die at &4
than at any other age."
Eqnally Divided.
A good story is told of twin brothers,
one of whom was a clergyman and the
other a doctor. A short-sighted woman
congratulated the latter on his admira
ble sermon. "Excuse me, madam."
was his reply, "over there is my broth
er, who preaches; I only practice."
Evening Wisconsin.
! Some folks who don't believe to faith
cures have unlimited faith to their phy-Biciana
OLD
FAVORITES
v t v 1 1 1 1 1 1 I' 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 I
LITTLE BREECHES
I don't go much on religion, - ' ..
I never ain't had no show; -But
I've got a middlin' tight grip, sir.
On the handful o things I know.
I don't pan out on the prophets,
And free-will, and that sort of. thing
But I b'lieve In God and the angels
Ever since one night last spring. ' "
I come into town with some turnips, .
And my little Gabe came along ,
No four-year-old in the county .
Could beat hiin for pretty and strong,
Peart, and chippy, and sassy, ;
Always ready to swear and fight
And I'd.larnt him to chaw terbacker" .
Jest to keep his milk-teeth"whitei." -
The snow came down like a blanket .
As I passed by Taggarts store;
I went in for a jug of molasses v. a
And left the team at the door. .'
They scared at something and started;
- I heard one little squalL '7 ' . v ;
And hell-to-split over the prairie
Went team. Little Breeches, and all.
Hell-to-spllt over the prairie!
I was almost froae with skeer;
But we rousted np some torches, '
And searched for 'em far and near.
At last we struck horses and wagon,
- Snowed under a soft, white mound, .
Upset, dead beat but of little Gape
No hide nor hair was found.
And here all hope soured on me
Of my fellow-critter's aid "
I jest flopped down on my marrow-bones,
Crotch-deep In the snow and prayed.
.
By this, the torches was played out,
And me and Isrul Parr
Went off for some wood to a sheepfold
That he said was somewhar thar.
We found it at last, and a little shed
Where they shut up the lambs at nlgat.
We looked In and seen them huddled thar,
So warm, and sleepy, and white,-
And thar sot Little Breeches and chirped.
As peart as ever you see,
"I want a chaw of terbacker, .
And that's what the matter of me."
How did he git thar? Angels.
He could never have walked In that
storm,
They jest stooped down and toted him
To whar it was safe and warm.
And I think that saving a little child,
And fotchlng him to his own, ; j
Is a durned sight better business
Than loafing around the Throne.
John Hay.
FOR A HUDSON BAY RAILWAY.
Dream of Canadians Now Likely to
Become a Reality.
The statement a few days ago that
the Canadian government has equipped
a party which will begin at once the
exploration of the vast wilderness ly
ing north of the Great Lakes seems to
indicate that the project for a Hud
son Bay railway, which has been a
dream for many years, may become a
reality in the near future. Little la
known of the character of the coun
try between the lakes and James'
bay, but what has been heard from
hunters and Indian guides leads jto the
belief that the Bection is wealthy, with
deposits of coal and ore, with great
forests, and with land suitable for agri
culture. The task of surveying these exten
sive tracts will be a stupendous one,
and the Canadian government does not
expect that the labors of the survey
tag party will be completed within
two years.
Although Canadians realized the
wealth of the Hudson Bay country, and
talked about a railroad for It for more
than twenty years, they finally were
forced to stand aside and watch Amer
ican capital do the business. The first
step was taken something over a year
ago, when a road was built north from
Sault Ste. Marie into the forests in
the Moose River country, chiefly to
carry pulp to the mills at the "Soo."
While It is by no means certain that
this road will ever get as far north as
James' Bay, it is headed that way.
From the "Soo" to Moose Factory,
the southernmost point of James' Bay,
is a distance of about 500 miles. The
Moose river, from its headwaters at
Brunswick Post seventy miles north
of- the Canadian Pacific line, is 425
miles long, and the road would follow
its course for the most part, not much
allowance being made for deviations.
The upper stretches of the river run
J for considerable distances throHgh
' muskeg, or swampy land, and for a
1 long stretch the surrounding country,
though heavily timbered, is compara
tively leveL
It would not offer any more dif
ficult problems of engineering in rail-
rOHtl UUilUlJ-lg luuu ita v v ta uvi v
1 satisfactorily in the pineries ; and
swamp lands in northern Minnesota
and Wisconsin.
It is not certain that the stories of
the vAst mineral wealth of the Moose
' river country are Justified, for little
1 prospecting has been done. But aside
from the timber, a ncn farming coun
try undoubtedly could be opened along
the valley of that river by a railroad.
Men who have traveled through from
the American line to James' Bay re
port abundant evidence of the rich fer
tility of the solL
With a railroad, that section, now a
desolate waste, would become one of
the richest agricultural sections of Can
ada. The argument made against its
agricultural development is that short
seasons would make diversified agricul
ture Impossible and that grain would
not thrive.
Those famiHar with the country,
however, report that the season along
the Moose river is not so much shorter
than that of Manitoba, one of the
greatest wheat belts of the world. Fif
ty miles south of Jamas' Bay the cli
mate is not affected by the changes of
the sea. Every Hudson Bay post has
its garden patch, where all kinds of
vegetables are raised.
The development of these rich farm
ing lands would, it is thought be a big
Investment for any road. The Moose
river drops 1,000 feet to 425 miles, and,
being a constant succession of rapids,
offers wonderful opportunities for man
ufacturing through the development vt
Its water power.
L. -
FUNERALS IN OLD MEXICO.
Street Cars for Hearaes, and - Coffin
Peddled from Door ta Door
"Did you ever see a 'street car funer
al?" The questioner was a drummer
for a large Eastern house, and had just
returned from an extensive trip
throughout Mexico.
"A street car funeral?" the reporter
repeated. -
, "Yes, sir.! One meets with odd sights
the moment he crosses the Mexican bor
der, i)ut he reaches the climax in the
City of Mexico itself, and from what I
can learn it is the only town to the "world
where "street car funerals' are an every-. operated on." Ex.
day occurrence. Funerals, like all other j Voice (from upstairs, to suitor In par
things Mexican,, are divided Into, two . lor) George, when you leave will you
classes. Those who can afford luxuries j please throw in the morning paper?
procure the hearse drawn by four blaclt . Judge.
horses, with a coachman and a foot- Incompetent: "She doesn't know how
man, and ornamented with gold and sil
ver trappings of every description. But
the poorer element must be content
with just a plain, ordinary street car,
with the seats removed, a few pieces of
cheap black cloth tacked here and there
to lenw jl somber effect and drawn by
a pah- of sunburned but energetic
mules. -
"When a Mexican dies the street car
company is immediately notified - to
have a hearse and the required number
of coaches at a certain point on their
track as near as possible to the late res
idence of the deceased. The coffin is
then placed upon the shoulders of four
friends and carried from the house to
the street car pageant ta waiting. The
remains are carefully deposited on the
platform of the first car, the gaudily
attired mourners climb ta the remaining
coaches, and the funeral proceeds, in
more or less state, to the cemetery.
Cigarettes are very much ta evidence,
and a casual observer might well sup
pose from the ascending smoke that the
remains were being cremated en route.
"If the mourners are extremely sor
rowful they may pull down the blinds
and close the doors, thus enjoying com
plete privacy. The great objection, how
ever, to the street car funeral is the de
gree of speed that must be maintained
In order to keep the tracks cleared for
regular traffic. In fact on one occa
sion just before I left the capital I saw
the little mules attached to the second
class hearse coming down the street at
a full gallop, affording us an astonish
ing combination of 'the quick and the
dead.
"And speaking of funerals reminds
me of a little incident which occurred
up to Queretaro, a town some miles
north of the city. I was sitting out in
front of the adobe hotel one evening
when I noticed an old man going from
door to door with a plain pine coffin on
his back. He was what Is termed a
'coffin peddler,' and was trying to in
duce the residents to lay In a supply of
coffins for the approaching winter. The
principal argument used In disposing of
his grewsome wares was that all are
bound to die sooner or later, and one
might as well be supplied with all the
necessary requisites to a funeral."
Washington Post
Birth of London Bridge.
On Aug. 1, 1831, William IVl and
Queen Adelaide formally opened with
much ceremony ' the famous London
bridge, so that the structure now Is
a little over seventy-one years old.
Their majesties went .in grand proces
sion from Buckingham palace to Som
erset house, and thence by barge to
the bridge. The awnings of the royal
barge were removed, that a full view
of the royal pair could be had along
the whole line. At London bridge a
grand pavilion had been set up close
to the site of Old Fishmongers' Hall.
It waa constructed of standards cap
tured to a hundred fights, canopied in
crimson and decorated with massive
shields. When the King stepped ashore
be said to two members of the London
bridge committee: "Mr. Jones and Mr.
Bouth, I am very glad to see you on
London bridge. It is certainly a most
beautiful edifice and the spectacle is
the grandest and the most delightful
in every respect that I ever had the
pleasure to witness." This, of course,
says the London News, was before
any one thought of building an annex
to Westminster Abbey.
Reported Him Literally.
Fault was found with the way in
which the shorthand writers reported
the speeches In a legislative body. They
retaliated by giving the speech of one
of the members exactly as he made It
with the following result:
"The reporters ought not to-the re
porters ought not to be the ones to
judge what Is Important not to say
what should be left out but-the
member can only Judge of what is Im
portant As I as my speeches as the
reports as what I say is reported some
times, no one nobody can understand
from the reports what it is what I
mean. So It strikes me It has struck
me certain matters things that appear
of importance are sometimes left out
omitted. The reporters the . papers
points are reported I mean to make
a brief statement what the paper
thinks of Interest Is reported." Cleve
land Leader.
All Sirloin.
Holman F. Day's "Pine Tree Bal
lads" tells in verse a number of stories
that actually happened "down n
Maine," and are remembered there to-
day by old narrators. One relates to
Barney McGauldric, a landlord of that
State, at whose house famous men Ilk
ed to stay, that they might enjoy a
merry joke.
Barney was always loyal to his
friends. At one time a new meat deal
er came to town, and tried to secure
the landlord's trade.
"I have always bought meat of Jed
Haskell," said Barney, "and I guess
I won't change."
"But" said the other, "old Haskell
doesn't know his business. He doesn't
even know how to cut meat"
"WeH," drawled Barney, "I've al
ways found that he knows enough
about it to cut sirloin steak clear to the
horn, and thaf s good enough for me,"
Sound Sleep.
We sleep the soundest between three
and five o'clock to the morning. An
hour or two after going to bed you
sleep very soundly; then your slumber
grows grauusiij n&uiKi, ouu n is caojr .
enough to waken you at one or twoj
o'clock. But when four o'clock comes I
you are to such a state of somnolence
that it would take a great deal to wak-
ea you.
"So Gay boy has recovered?" "Yes.
The lucky, fellow was too poor to be
to manage, does she?" "No. For years
she has lived beyond her alimony."
Judge.
He "Her rich uncle gave them a
magnificent wedding present" She
"What was it?" He "A ton of coal."
Detroit Free Press.
"Three knots an hour isn't such bad
time for a clergyman," smilingly said
the minister to himself, just after he
had united' the third couple. Tit-Bits.
Nell "I stopped in at a bargain sale
to-day." Belle "Did you see anything
that looked real cheap?" Nell "Yes;
'"everal men watting for their wives.-
Philadelphia Ledger.
"Really, Louise, this bill is outrage
ous. You mustn't try to dress like these
millionaires' wlvesl" "My dear Ned.
control yourself. I'm only trying to ap
pear as well dressed as the shop girls."
Life.
Wide: "Papa, what is the difference
between the Smart Set and the Four
Hundred?" "Why, my son, the Four
Hundred is limited to two thousand six
hundred, but everybody is lh the Smart
Set" Ex.
One way for the young man to get
rich Is to save money. Another way
is to marry a girl whose father has
saved money. Somervllle Journal.
His Wife "But can they prove that
you have been dishonest?" "No, they
can't; but I shall have to pay a lawyer
all I have stolen to convince them that
they oan't" Life.
"Yes, I'm encouraging my daughter
to keep company with that Arctic ex
plorer." "What's the reason?" "He'll
be able to stand It In the parlor with
out any fire tills winter." Clevelana
Plain Dealer.
The Old Man "Young man, when
you take my daughter, I trust you with
the dearest treasure of my life. No, I
couldn't lend you my auto for a little
spin. I value It too highly to risk It to
strange hands." Harper's Bazar.
"Are you going to marry him ." asked
the girl In white. "I don't know." an
swered the girl In pink. "It would be
dreadful if I married him and then
found out that that detestable Minnie
Wilklns never really wanted him."
Chicago Post
Miss Anne Teek (blushing) "Mr.
Strong offered to put his arm under
me and teach me to float In the surr
to-day, but of course I wouldn't hear
of It" Miss Somergal "Nonsense! One
Is never too old to learn." Philadel
phia Catholic Standard.
In Disguise: Mrs. Stubbs-Thls is
strange, John. I thought the people on
this block were immensely wealthy,
and now I find them sitting around to
patched clothing. Mr. Stubb That's
nothing, Maria; they are expecting the
tax assessor. Chicago Dally New3.
Thoroughbred Sport T Blizzer I just
heard that Bilgewater jumped out of
his yacht yesterday and was drowned.
Buzzer Shocking! Did he do It with
suicidal Intent? Blizzer Oh, no; he
was racing and did it to lighten his
boat and thereby win the race. Chi
cago State Journal.
It was a Maysville negro preacher
who, needing the money, said: "Breth
ren, we will now staht de box, an' fo
de glory ob heaven, which ebber ob
you stole Mr. Jones' turkey will please
not put anything in hit" And ?yery
man in the congregation contributed.
Kansas City Star.
Harry "To tell the truth, I don't be
lieve Alice ever cared for me." Har
riett "Nonsense! What put that Idea
into your head?" Harry "I know what
I'm talking about How otherwise do
you account for it that she remembers
everywhere we went on our honey
moon?" Boston Transcript
"You must abandon all business cares
for the future," says the physician.
"But I fear that I have not yet accumu
lated sufficient money," protests the
multi-millionaire. "Why, my dear sir,
you have got enough money to pay
physicians' fees for the rest of your
life." Baltimore American.
"That Mrs. Wadhams to whom you
Introduced me the other evening re
minds me very much of a portrait by
Rembrandt" "Is that so? Which
one?" "Oh, any old one. They all look,
when you get close to them, as If the
paint had been thrown on by the hand
ful." Chicago Times-Herald.
Sandy Pikes "Lady, cud yer please
give me four cents. I wants to write
a letter to me poor old mudder.
Lady
"What do you want with four cents?
Two cents will send a letter anywhere
1 to the country." Sandy Pikes "Yes,
! lady, but I wants to send me mudder a
check, an' I wants- de extra two cents
fer a revenue stamp." Chicago News.
Professor What Is the dose of cro
ton oil? Student (in a hurry) One
teaspoonful. The professor makes no
comment but the student feels he has
not answered correctly. Student (fif
teen minutes later) I want to change
my answer to that question. Profes
sor Oooking at his watch) It Is too
late. Your patient has been dead four
teen minutes. New York Times.
American Railways.
Railway mUeage lu the United States
has passed the 200,000 mark, which is
considerably more than two-fifths of
the entire railway mileage of the world.
Acted Like a Professional.
She Did you ever kiss a girl be
fore? j He Am I doing this like a beginner?
uetroii K ree tress.
It will make the women mad to say
it but the facts are that mighty few of
them make good bread before they are
forty.