FAIRYLAND.
You need not travel to a star;
The way is easy, and not far
An hoar's walk, a mile from town.
The herons of the old lagoon
Lead yon along the path; for sign
Are arrowhead-blossoms, frail and fine.
Beside the water; then the wood
Takes you; but only by the blood "
Leaping, and by the sudden start
Of the OTerfull and thrilling heart.
You know you see it faee to face.
The greenwood bowers a sonny space
For song-sparrow tinkling; and below
July's green lap is fall of snow,
Is drifted rich with white and pink;
Of bouncing-bet from brink to brink;
The hannted air resounds between
With humming-birds, obscure and keen,
Like burnt-out stars that dart and float.
With but a last fire at the throat.
You saw but common summer flowers?
Heard but a hum that drowsed the
hours?
Your blood leaped not, nor shook your
heart?
Ah, well; J know no other chart.
The path is for your feet as far
As that which lessens to a star.
ntury.
ORNWALLLS COBB Corn Cobb,
he was familiarly called by bis
.issociates was undoubtedly a
more ludicrous than elegant name.
Katherine never knew why he should
be so burdened, except that Cornwallis
was an old family name, "as though
that were any reason," she once re
marked, indignantly, "to mark a man
through life." t
She remembered vividly when she
had considered it the most ridiculous
nmne lu the world, but somehow to
day, as she thought of a tall, handsome
man she had'met on Regent street, in
the morning, the absurd side did not
appeal to her so strongly.
Before that chance meeting it had
been four years since she had seen him
in a small town in New Jersey, where,
after leaving Princeton, be had laid bis
heart and worldly goods at her feet.
In the interval the Cobb exchequer
had been materially Increased through
the death of a near relation. Cornwal
lis, tall and ungainly in those days,
smarting under Katherine's ungracious
refusal, shook the dust of his native
town from his feet, and sailed to Ger
many to study.
Tor the first time. In looking back
over the episode, Katkerim? realized
how disdainful had been her refusal.
When pressed for a reason, she had
replied with unblushing candor that
she never could care for a man whose
name was Corn Cobb, no matter what
merits he possessed.
But that morning, when be had al
most stumbled over her in a depressing
London fog, he seemed to feel nothing
but the utmost pleasure in the unex
pected meeting.
In a delicate way he drew from her
the account of her father's death arid
the necessity now laid upon her of
earning her own living, all of which
was uewsto him. Her voice and pow
ers of mimicry she told him were her
only gifts, and on the advice of a
friend who hnd lived nbroad she had
cone to London and found employment I
in 1tc!ikt nrm snnrr in tb firnwini. !
rooms of people of wealth and title.
Katuerine Whitney had come to Lon
don six months before with eager re
lief, to escape the poverty which faced
her in her own country, but though
well received, she never forgot her po
sition; she was hired at so much to
entertain my lady's guests, and when
that was over they had no further use
for her.
In former days she had looked upon
the Cobbs with amused tolerauce at
their lavish display, feeling an Inborn
sense of pride that though poor, she
was a Whitney, and one of her ances
tors had signed the Declaration of In
dependence. From childhood she had hated pover
ty; it meant to her a cramped, narrow
life; desires that could not be fulfilled,
generosities that coukl not be grati
fied, and yet when a way of escape
had presented Itself In the person of
Cornwallis Cobb, she had decided that
there could perhaps be more distasteful
experiences than poverty.
Tlv.it niirlit Katherine amused herself
by reading the society news in the
iueeii. The high-sounding titles inter
ested her and beguiled the time, for
she made few friends in London and
found people not eager to welcome a
stringer.
Suddenly among the names that met
her eye. she saw one that she recog
nizedit was Cornwallis Cobb. The
Item read: "Mr. Cornwallis Cobb, one
of America's young millionaires, is be
ing entertained by Lady Henry Claj--liorne,
at Clayborne manor, Yorkshire.
Humor has It that a marriage has been
arranged betweeu Mr. Cobb and Lady
Clayborne's eldest daughter. Lady
Mariau Clayborne."
Katherine could not help a regretful
feeling. It was like finding a friend
and then losing him suddenly. Lady
Clayborne was .evidently not averse to
the name of Cobb, and Katherine
laughed a little to herself at her former
feeling of condescension to the Cobbs.
It was nearly ten days before Cobb
called, as he had promised. When day
by day passed without any sign from
him Katherine was conscious of a dis
tinct sense of disappointment, and she
concluded his other social duties had
made him forget her.
But one morning there arrived a big
bunch of violets. The maid who
brought them to her was overcome by
the size.
"Laws. Miss," she exclaimed, with
delight, "they must have cost a 'eap!"
That evening Cobb called, and ex
plained that he had been summoned
to Paris suddenly the day after he had
last seen her, and had just come back.
It was wonderful how many things
they had to talk about as fhey sat there
In the shabby little back drawing room.
Katherine seemed to forget, she had
never shown him so much of herself
before. It was so natural to be talking
to blm about thlugs that interested her
most.
It was a fortnight later that she was
engage! to sing at Lady Leeland's re
ception. Her head ached, and her eyes
were dazzled by the blaze of lights and
jewels. J
Suddenly she saw moving across, the
ODD TOWER
Here Is a castle, not made of stone. like the medieval structures of England,
but composed entirely of fruit. The turrets at the top are of red apples, like
wise the borders of the windows. T. he walls are Constructed of large green apples,
the fruit being glued to a light framework of wood. Tbe castle wag constructed
at the Pan-American Exposition at Buffalo, and the top of the turrets was twenty
feet from the floor, while the interior was large enough to hold a score of per
sons. Altogether nearly 10.000 apples alone were used in its formation and in the
construction of the guns, the muzzles of
room Cornwallis Cobb, on whose "arm
leaueda tall, pretty girl. .Some one
nearby whispered It was Lady Marian
Claylwrne. -
For a moment her heart beat violent
ly, and then Lady Leeland moved over
and motioned her to sing. It was a
catchy little coon song, and when she
finished it was greeted with welFured
applause. Lady Marian had come so
near that she could hear her remark to
her companion: '
"Clever little thing quite an air
about her!"
Katherine took elaborate care not to
look In their direction, and did not hear
his reply, but the patronizing tone of
the girl's voice filled her with indigna
tion. . The evening seemed terribly long
drawn out, and Katherine thought it
would never end She found herself
sitting In a corner alone Just after re
freshments were served, when she
heard" her name mentioned by two rath
er dissipated-looking youths, who stood
ogling her not far away. That their
conversation was meant for her to hear
she had not the least doubt, and her
face burned.
"She looks a jolly sort," said one.' "I
have half a mind to ask her out in the
conservatory. Those Americans do
anything."
"Aw, quite so,"assented the other.
"Go and ask fier and I'll join you
later."
At this moment Sig. Maronl, the little
man who played the 'cello, came for
ward and pompously offered his arm to
conduct her to a small retreat where
members of the profession were served
by themselves.
She rose with relief at his appear
ance, when, to her surprise, Cobb sttd-
denly stepped forward, and with a
slight bow. to Maroni explained that
Miss Whitney had promised him the
honor of serving her, and before she
knew what to say, Cobb was bending
over her in the conservatory.
"Confound the Impertinence of those
idiots!" he said angrily." "Did thev
frighten you?"
"O, no," replied Katherine faintly, "I
had a headache, that was all" and
with energy "I hate this sort of
thing!" ' -
"You mean "
"Yes, I mean this amusing peopled"
she interrupted. "Their insults mad
den me."
"O, Katherine,, Jet's run away from it
all," he began with sudden eagerness.
"I would be so good to you, but " a
long pause.
"But what, Wallis?" she asked soft
ly. "O. my confounded name." he replied
bitterly. "You know you told me once
you would never marry a Corn Cobb."
"Yes," she said, with a proud little
gesture, laying her hand on his sleeve.
"I know I said it once, but that was
before I cared; now" her voice was
very low "there Is nothing in the
world so sweet to me as to be Mrs.
Cornwallis Cobb."
BABY WAS AN ARTIST.
Messenger Puzzled Over Admira
tion for Her Charcoal Drawing;.
Dockerty, the district messenger boy,
was just in from a dash through the
rain recently, when he was hailed by
his reporter friend with a request for
a story.
"Well, dey ain't much doin'," said
Dockerty. closing one eye meditative
ly. Tossing off his rubber coat, he
fixed his sharp little gray eyes on the
reporter.
"I'll tell youse a yarn wot ain't wild
er woolly, if youse'il tell me de name
of it afterward. Dat goes, does It?"
Slippiug his palm under his legs
above the knees and swinging his thin
little trottexs vigorously, Dockerty
said:
"Up by St. Patrick's cathedral's a
house wid a man an wife an' a little
girl 4 years old. Dere wuz a boy kid,
but he wuz took wid splner mengeetus.
Well, dis little girl's mudder Is a swell
OUT OF THE
"
The illustration is a reproduction of a photograph of the first British, subma
rine boat coming to the top of the water after its inaugural trip. The boat is
patterned somewhat after the Holland submarine boat. For more than a year
the British government has been experimenting secretly with submarine craft,
having been stirred to this action by the success of the French submarine boats.
Gustar Zede. Gymnote and Norwal and our own Holland boats. No one knows
what the Admiralty has accomplished, but It is certain that soon the world's
greatest navy will be greatly re-euforced by vessels of the new type.
MADE OF FRUIT.
which protrude from each side. -
lady, an 'ex bubby is swell, too, an'
she calls him 4Bub,' 'cause I hears her.
Well, I wuz t' de house on Monday
wld a message, wich fuz werry pertic-
ular, inwitin de swell lady down t' d'
Waldorf-Astoria t set in de gallery at
de Prince Henry . dinner. "
"I wuz down In de basemen" an dere
wuz de kid, wich has de run er de
' house. Well, de baby wuz on de floor
wid a piece er charcoal an' de Bouse
dog wuz in front er de range. De
baby takes a piece er pape wot comes
'round de groceries, an' makes a lot o'
black scratches on de pape. Den she
comes over ter me an' se& kinder soft
like: 'Baby give-oo boofer pietur dog
gie.' Say," said Dockerty, excitedly,
"dern me If 'twasn't a purty good dog
picture. Sles' den de baby's mudder
she comes in an' sees de baby's blacfc-
hands, an' den she looks at the char
coal dog. Den she makes a dive fur
tne pictur, an' de baby yells, 'No, mam
ma no. Ittle boy's doggie.'
"Well, dere wuz a arbitration over
dat piece o' pape. De swell lady w'ls-
pered er me, an' I t'anks de baby an
goes out into de westibule. De lady
follies mo out 'n' wot yer t'ink? She
says: 'You dear boy. here's $5 fur dat
piece o' paper.' I takes der money, o'
course, an' den I wonders wot tinder
gol mine I'll run into nex. Well, I
goes t dat same place to-day, an de
same lady takes me in de parlor wot
wuz full er swell ladies, an' hangin on
de wall, in a gold frame, wuz dat char
coal terrier. All de folks wuz sayin,
'It's jes' too lovely,' an' 'How did the
darlin' ever do It? an' t'lugs like dat.
Dockerty paused and looked at his
newspaper friend, says the New York
Tribune. Then he bluntly demanded:
"Now, youse make good an' tell me
de right name fur goin's on like -dat.
Wot's de k'rect name fur if?"
: England's Resident .Aristocracy.
It is curious how many members of
the aristocracy and upper classes reside
in the colonies and in America, says the
London Express. Lord Charles Fitzger
ald has for many years past made his
home beneath the Southern Cross. He
resides at Fernlea Villa, Riddell's
Creek, in Victoria. The Earl of Seafield
has resided for many years in New Zea
land.
Sir Norman Campbell, of Auchfn
breck, resides in New Zealand, as do
also Sir Kenneth Mackenzie Douglas
and Sir William Forbes, at Pitsligo.
Sir Alexander Cockburn-Campbell, of
Gartsford. lives In western Australia,
and Sir AVilliam Brown, of Colstdup,
resides lu New South Wales.
Lord Fairfax makes his permanent
home in New York, and Lord Ffrench
has taken up his abode in Bulawayo,
Rhodesia. The Hon. Claud Anson,-who
married Lady Susan Beresford, has a
ranch in Texas, as has also his brother,
the Hon. Francis Anson.
Sand Pillars.
Travelers In the celebrated Death
Valley of California have described the
wonderful contortions of the sand pil
lars that small whirlwinds sometimes
send spinning across the hot plain,
Even more" remarkable are the "dust
devils" seen by H. F. Witherby, the
English explorer, In the valley of-the
White Nilej Sometimes two of these
whirling columns, gyrating in oppo
site directions, meet, "and if they be
well matched the collision stops them
and a struggle ensues as to which
way they shall twist. Gradually one
gams the mastery, and the two com
bined begin to gyrate alike and then
rush on together." Some of these
whirls will strip the clothes from an
Arab's back, or twist a goat round and
round like a top.
New Line of Torpedoes.
The Portsmouth (England) torpedo
school has devised a line of torpedoes
to prevent submarine attacks.
Many a man who is capable of giv
ing good advice isn't capable of earn
ing his salt
DEPTHS.
DETECTIVE PHOTOGRAPHY.
Caaea in Which the Camera Haa Coat
; to the Aid of Jastice. -; .:
Photography Is every year proving
Its usefulness as a friend of justice
and enemy of crime. ; A writer in Tit
Bits describes a case of diamond theft
in . Calcutta, in which ; no . evidence
against the arrested person could be
found. A policeman familiar with the
artifices . of the "nati ve criminals, sug
gested that an X-ray photograph be
taken of the man'sthroat, ,. The test
revealed the hidden diamond.- By a
trick which Hindu jewel thieves learn
after severe practice, the fellow had
"aide-swallowed" the stone. -
A little more than a year ago some
evidence that smugglers In - Buenos
Ayres were receiving gems througlTtlie
malls put the authorities on the watch.
Postal matter, in transit could not be
legally opened, but on suspicion sixty
six registered letters and parcels were
examined by the X-ray." and found to
contain twenty thousand dollars woTttr
0- precious stones. The dishonest traf
fic was stoppl, and a large sum was
saved to the customs revenue. .
A person taking long-distance views
from one" of the upper, windows of a
tall building -in Rochester.. N. Y
caught the picture of a passing mar
ket-wagon with a man behind in the
act of lifting a tub of butter from the
load. The thief got away with his
booty unnoticed by the driver or any
one on the street, but the photograph,
when , sufficiently enlarged, identified
and convicted him. ; '.'
- A marine view taken by a passenger
on a foreign steamer in the Jjarbor of
Rio de Janeiro included a small yacht.
Two men, Grayson and Linares, had
gone out in the yacht that morning.
Only Grayson returned alive. He said
his companion had fallen from the mast
and been killed; but his story was not
believed, and he was tried and sen
fenced as a murderer. The trial had
been pretty fully reported in the pa
pers, and one day it occurred to the
photographer to apply a powerful glass
to his picture, in order to discover the
character of a small dark mark on the
salL Under the magnifier the spot on
the sail proved to be the figure of a
falling man. He reported his discov
ery, and as soon as it bad been offi
cially verified Grayson was released.
A similar timely discovery was made
after the village tragedy known . as
The Cooper . Murder," in Lancashire,
England. Cooper, apprentice to Mc
Kenna, a blacksmith, was found dead
on the floor of the tatter's shop, and
the coroner's jury .brought In a verdict
of suicide. An amateur photographer
who had been through the village tak
ing "snap-shots" on the day of Cooper's
death, developed his films, and one of
them showed the smithy with a par
tial view of the interior through the
open door, revealing evidence which
caused McKenna's arrest and his final
confession -of the murder.
Complaints are' beard against the
camera as a nuisance, and "undoubtedly
the owners sometimes abuse their privi
lege, but cases multiply in which its
use Is beneficent, and even its acci
dental "work proves valuable.
Dogs are to be used as river police
on the Seine In Paris. Twenty New
foundlands, warrapted to save the ap
parently drowning, are allotted to as
many gendarmes, and it is hoped that
in consequence the rate of suicide will
decrease in the French capital.
Giraffes in zoological gardens seem
to be aware of their pecuniary value
and ready to take advantage of it. Fail-
ing-their natural diet of leaves, which
they strip from the trees with their
long, black prehensile tongues, they eat
only the finest clover hay. Moreover,
they are lazy, wasteful brutes, spilling
the bay on the floor of their paddock
and rarely troubling to recover it. For
this reluctance, however, their prover
bial fastidiousness may be partly re
sponsible. Only an occasional onion,
apple or lump of sugar pleases them
apart from their hay and there is even
a belief that, fond as a giraffe is of a
whole apple, nothing will induce it to
eat one from which its keeper first
takes a bite.
An instance of the possibility of liv
ing under a snowdrift Is recorded dur
ing, severe storms In England. On Dec.
9 a large flock of sheep belonging to a
cattle dealer of Garsdale were out on
the open moor. The shepherds with
their dogs collected the sheep and drove
them to a more sheltered locality,
dreading a threatening stormwhich
Soon followed: One sheep, however,
escaped and made its way back to the
pasture, where it was overtaken by the
heavy fall of snow and imbedded In it
There it remained until the snow melt
ed, when the shepherds were aston
ished to find it alive and well. It had
stayed under the snow for, twenty-two
days. On its release It was found per-
fectly able to walk home, a distance of
a mile and a half. It is curious to note
that this same animal had undergone a
similar burial in November, when it
was "snowed up" for ten days.
No Sensation Intended.
Among the printed and posted regula
tions of one of the New York public
schools are these instructions for the
fire drill of the pupils:
Fire.drilMA) 3 Bells-To the side
walk and return, with clothing.
"(B) 4 Bells To the yard and return.
without clothing.".--
As a matter of fact, this performance
is not as sensational as this principal's
ambiguity might suggest, for the cloth
ing referred to is only the outer wraps
and hats of the children. New York
Mail and Express.
Defense ot Mosquitoes. ' - -A
defender of the mosquito says the
great majority of - mosquitoes never
taste either bumau blood or that of
any animal, not having the opportun
ity. They live upon vegetable juices
and decomposing animal and .vegetable
matter, found in the localities where
it- y are most numerous, and thus per
form a valuable service as nature's
scavengers. V
OLDEST WAG0N IN AMERICA.
':-.- Picturesque among the relics of ancient Indian days, dating back to the
; introduction of cattle in New Mexico, more than 200 years ago, is the old carreta
or ox cart, shown in the illustration, which la probably the oldest vehicle of
native American origin in the world. This carreta was found in the possession
of a native Indian in the ancient -pueblo village, Rio Tesuque, situated about
five miles from-Santa Fe, the capital of New Mexico. The Indian, who was 83
years old, said it had been the property of his great-grandfather, and the tradi
tions of Rio Tesuque, when taken in correlation with known historical events,
clearly establish the date of its making in the latter half of the seventeenth..
- century. . - : 4 - .'- - . , .. "
The ancient vehicle shows the primitive conditions of past modes of travel.
The great wheels are made of the cross sections of the sycamore tree. The hubs
are of one piece with the body of the wheels; they are secured by wooden pins
driven through the axle. " No iron or metal .figures in the make-up, wood nd
rawhide . alone being used in the construction. The' body of the carreta is an
open rack of cottonwood eight feet long. Upright slats four feet high form this
rack. The frame rests upon the axle and the tongue.
. The tongue, twelve feet long, is a twisted and gnarled trunk of a mesqulte
tree. The oxen which drew this ancient cart pushed with their heads a sor.t
of yoke in the shape of a bow of wood bound upon the horns with rawhide,
which may be seen to-day in some parts of France and Germany.
CHICAGO WONDERS AT IT.
Remarkable Feat of Engineering Skill
Now About Completed.
Three distinct and unusual features
tend to make the great subway system
now being constructed in Chicago one
of the most extraordinary triumphs of
engineering skill ever accomplished. It
Is unique in design; mammoth in size
and the methods of construction" and
ultimate use are decidedly novel.
Chicago is a most peculiar city. While
it covers an area of 184 square miles, a
large portion of which is sparsely popu
lated, the "business interests are cen
tered In a district about three-quarters
of a mile square. Within these narrow
limits are the great wholesale houses,
banks, department stores, office build
ings, theaters, railway depots and
steamboat docks.
The result is a bewildering confusion
of pedestrians on the sidewalks, while
the roadways arechoked with street
cars, delivery wagons and heavy drays.
All this within a radius of six blocks
'ZA 1 W.XJJP 1 1 agauij tms,f '.'J.-.. . 1 1 ' . J. i . n i iiwium. J i . i
SECTION OF MAIN TUNNEL, JACKSON AND DEARBORN STREETS.
from the corner of State and Madison
streets, the hub of the business section.
Outside of this district there is com
parative ease of movement for both
pedestrian and wagon traffic.
To offer partial remedy for the Ills
affecting the city a proposition was
made to the Council for an under
ground telephone service" that would
rid Chicago of the Bell monopoly. It was
received kindly and a permit given to
construct the necessary conduits.
Then opposition began to show Itself.
A clause was Inserted In the franchise
forbidding the new concern, to tear up
bit of pavement, or to disturb the
surface of the roadways in any man-
ner under pain of forfeiture of Its en-j
tire plant
This was about two years ago, and
since there has been no sign of any
work being done. Not a foot of street.
pavement had been torn up, and when
the word was given out not long ago
that seven miles of large-sized tunnels
had been built under the business sec
tion of Chicago and were ready for use,
everybody, excepting the men directly
interested in the work was astounded.
As opposition was feared, the work
has been done quietly. Basements were
rented at convenient intervals along
the line and the work of excavation be
gun. Men were put to digging, and the
earth taken out was hauled up and
carted away at night through the coal
holes in the sidewalks, so that it did
not attract attention. In the daytime
there was not a sign to indicate to the
thousands of pedestrians that any un
usual work was In progress, but every
hur of the twenty-four, day and night,
hundreds of men were digging away
like moles forty feet below the surface
of the street .
It was necessary to go this deep In or
der to avoid the sewer and gas pipes,
the conduit of the telephone and the
telegraph companies, the electric light
cables and the great water mains. Now
the work is about completed. The main
tunnels are 14x12 feet and the branches
6x8.
Although constructed ostensibly for
the accommodation of telephone wires,
this will in reality be a small part of a
new enterprise. Its subways are of
such size that small cars can be run
through them, and on these it is pro
posed to transport the mails from the
general postoffice to the various rail
way depots and sub-stations: to deliver
newspapers to the raiway depots and
to the dealers instead of sending them
by wagons, as is now done, and to carrj
package-- freight from theuowu-towa
stores to the outlying districts. No at
tempt will be made to do a passenger
business. - , -
Intelligible Announcement.
An American "woman who under
stands Italian, but has not learned to
comprehend Italianized English, bad at
a hotel in-Florence ap experience which
she relates with glee.
She had asked that a carriage might
be ready for her at a certain hour. She
waited In the parlor for it to be an
nounced, and when the time had passed
she made complaint that her request
had not been regarded.
"But, madam, I send up a boy where
you and the other madam were sitting,
ten minutes ago, and command him to
announce your equipage," said the
clerk.
"A boy said something In the door
way," said the lady, doubtfully, "but as
he spoke in a language unknown to me,
and did not seem to be addressing me,
I paid no attention to him." '
The boy, being summoned, gazed
with brown, reproachful eyes at the
lady.
"But I speak America," he said plain
tively. "I bow my head, and say, fast,
very fast, 'M'darm, m'darm, .c'ridge,
c'ridge, redee, redee, and make myde
part." HOW TO SET GRAVITATION AT DEFIANCE
Modern acrobats perform some
seemingly impossible feats. We have
seen them walking on the ceiling like
flies, but none, so far as known, has
yet succeeded in lying on his face In
thin air, asif he were taking a stroll
down the side of a house and had stop
ped to examine the horizon. This par
ticular trick is a "fake," pure and sim
ple, though not a photographic one.
The picture Is strictly truthful, but the
man Is lying on a beam which projects
from the wall. ' Simple, isn't it, when
you know how it is done? Exchange.
Africa's Ancient Sea.
" Recent studies of the animal life of
Lake Tanganyika have shown that that
lake differs from all other African
lakes in possessing inhabitants that be
long to the oceanic species. Still, these
singular denizens of Lake Tanganyika
are not exactly like the marine organ
Isms of the present day, and the; con
clusion is drawn that a sea, connected
with the open ocean, once occupied the
parts of Africa where Tanganyika now
lies and that the lake is the last rem
nant of the ancient sea.
Malapropos.
Cadleigh I thought I had met you
before. Miss Browne.
Miss Browne No; I guess it was rny
sister.
Cadleigh Perhaps so. . The .Mi3;
Browne I met was rather pretty."
Philadelphia Press.
" A Temperate People.
The per capita consumption of s;'r:
in the United States is smaller tli.in :
any other of the great nafious.
Fred -John's wife helps him with his
literary labors, doesn't shet Freder
icks Oh! yes, she cashes his checks.
i wouuer u ue uun iujr oictici uu
money. Has he . proposed?" "He'
has." "He does." New York Herald.
"Do yon believe In love at first sight.
Chris?" "Sure. If more men took a
closer look they wouldn't fall in love."
Philadelphia Bulletin.
- "Will you marry me?" he asked. "I
told you once that I would not," she
answered. "Yes, but that was yester
day." he urged. Tid- Bits.
- "It's a small village.", "So small
they call a shop a store?" "Oh, small
er than that. They call a store an em
porium." New .York Sun.
"He proposed " to her as a joke."
"Yes?' . "Well, she accepted him. He
does not regard himself as a humorist
any more." Brooklyn Life.
Jaggles A new summer drink has
been named ping-pong. Waggles So
they're going to force it down our
throats, eh? New York Sun.
Too late we learn to grasp the clew,
Twlxt that which is and that which
wa's; . .
And the man who's always "going to"
Is the man who never "does."
"Jenkins holds his head mighty high
this mornin. What's happened?"
"Just put a mortgage on the mule an'
sold a mocklu'bird for $10. Atlanta
Constitution.
"Pa," said little Willie, "I wonder
why. a bad actor Is called a 'ham.' "
"Perhaps," replied his father, "it's be
cause he's so often served with eggs."
Philadelphia Press.
He--Do you mean to say the plumber
has not been here yet? She No isn't
it shameful? And we such good cus
tomers; our plumbing is nearly always
out of order! Brooklyn Life.
Foreign Visitor Your American so
ciety has no. castles with haunted
rooms. American Girl N-o, we haven't,
I admit; but (brightening) we have
plenty of scandals. New York Weekly.
Traveler I sent you half an hour
ago to the railway station-to fiud when
the next train goes. Porter Yes, sir,
and to be sure and "be exact I waited
till it started It was just 12:37 Poll
chinelle. "I don't believe you love me a bit!"
sobbed his wife. "But I do, darling!
I " "Don't tell me! It's unnatural
you should. No man could love a
woman who wears such old hats as I
do." Answers.
Judge Have the letters been duly
examined by the handwriting expert?
Prosecutor Yes, your honor. Judge
Very well, let the handwriting expert
now- be examined by the insanity ex
pert. Ohio State Journal.
Clerk "Mr. Snipper wa's in while you
were out; he said he'd call again to
morrow. Proprietor Very kind of him.
Clerk But he wanted to collect a bill.
Proprietor Very kind to say when he
would call. Boston Transcript
"Now that my engagement to Edgar
is broken off I wonder if he'll ask me
to return tlnj-jewels that he gave me?"
"If he doesn't ask for them I'd send
them back at once for in that case
they're not genuine!" Fliegeude Blaet
ter. s
"Of course you've read Homer's story
of 'Ulysses and Calypso,' haven't you?"
"No, I really can't say that I have.
now, don't you know, that I just sim
ply don't pretend to keep track of them
all." Chicago Times-Herald.- .
Mr. Stingum By the way. Sharpe.:
says he saw you in the Bongtoug'cafe
yesterday Nuritch Cadd Yes, but I
cut him. Did he tell you that? Mr.
Stingum No, but he did remark that
he expectea every minute 10 see you
cut voiirself. PhiladelDhia Press.
The automobile bad broken down
and the chauffeur was busy trying to
discover me irouuie. xuc imiiaucui,
owner of the machine at last broke
out: "Hurry up, Felix; there are a lot
of people crossing the street that we
are missing." Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Waldo (of Boston) I have a
letter from your Uncle James, Penel
ope, who wants us to spend the sum
mer on his farm. Penelope (dubious
ly)Is there any society in the neigh
borhood? Mrs. Waldo I've heard him
Spea& UL lilt; auu v m i j.
I presume they are pleasant people.-1-Boston
Christian Register.
Life Worth Living. George Well,
life is worth living, after all. Jack '
What's happened? George I went to
and by some chance Harry Handsom
was there to see his sister off, hnd in
the rush and noise and confusion wo
got mixed, and I hugged his sister and
ha hnffmul mlrna Vow Vnrlr WpaItIit
Ready for Anything. "But, why,"
ask of the great Inventor, "do. you have
this huge balloon at the top cf your
machine, and the large wheels and
steering gear beneath it?" "Because," :
he answers, with patient consideration
for our Inability to grasp 9n idea when .
it juts out before us, "I am not sure
yet whether this will be an airship or
an automobile." Baltimore American.
A man went with his wife to visit "
her physician. The doctor placed a
thermometer in the woman's mouth. '
After two or three minutes, just as
the physician was about to remove the
instrument, the man, who was not .
used to such a prolonged spell of bril
liant silence on the part of his life's
partner, said: "Doctor, what will you
take for that thing?" New York
Times. ,
Record in Clothes-M.iking.
Thomas Kitson, of the Stroudsburg
mills, in Pennsylvania, had ix sheep
sheared at 6:30 o'clock in the morning.
The wool was then sorted, scoured, :
dried, carded, spun, woven into cloth
auu me ciuiu wus gucu to me tailors
and made up into a suit of clothes
which were given to Mr. Kitsou at
12:34 o'clock, or six hours anri fv.1.1.
. . w. ..... ... ' n , . iuc
best previous record was about eight
hours.
Jt matters not what your ancestors
were It is what you are that counts.