Corvallis gazette., April 15, 1902, Page 4, Image 4

Distress
After Eating
Nausea between meals, belching, ta
iting, flatulence, fits of nervous head
ache, pain in the atomach, are all
symptoms of dyspepsia, and tho longer
it is neglected the harder Jl is to euro it.
Hood's Sarsaparilla
and Pills
Radically and permanently cure it
strengthen and tone the 6tomach and
other digestive organs for the natural
performance of their functions.
Accept no substitute for Hood's.
"I had dyspepsia twenty-live year and took
different medicine bat sot no help until I be
gan taking Hood's Sanspar ilia. Hare taken
four bottles of this medicine and can now eat
aln ot anything-, sleep well, bare no cramp In
my stomach, no burning and no distress.
Mb. William G. Babbitt, 14 Olney 6t.. Provi
dence. E. L
Hood' a Smramparllla aroenlaam fa
euro and koopm tho nromlao.
Taken On.
Hoax Funny! Did you ever notice
it?
Joax Notice what?
Hoax Why, in the beginning of the
world a rib became a woman, and now
it's ribbons that become a woman.
Philadelphia Kecord.
The drugfdst who advises you to use
Hamlin's Wizard Oil for the cure of
pain, does you a good turn !
A Good Mimic.
"I don't see what yoh all has to git
so proud about," said Miss Sadie Cot
ton ball.
"Cohse you doesn'," answered Miss
Miami Brown. "I'ze been studyin' de
white folks. What yoh wants to do is
jes' put on de airs yohse'f an' let de
yuthuh folks do de guessin 'bout whut
de reason is."
tTITO Permanentlr Cured. So fits
I 110 after first day's urn of Ttr. Klias'sGreat Nerve
Restorer. Send for FRHB d.Ov trial bottle and treat
ise. D.B.H.Ki.ii.Ltd..(Bl Arch SU Philadelphia, Fa,
Wouldn't Be a Parry to It
Tailor Can't you pay my bill today,
sir? I need the money, as I'm going
to be married next week.
Customer (a confirmed bachelor)
What? Going to be married? Such a
foolish thing, and on my money? Nev
er! Der Dorfbarbier.
Ladle Can Wear Shoos
One size smaller after using Allen's Foot Ease,
a rowder.lt makes tight or new shoes easy.
Cares swollen, hot, sweating, aching feet, in
growing nails, corns and bunions. All drne
rit and shoe stores. 25c. Trial package FREB
by mail. Address Allen 8. Olmsted, Le Roy.
New York.
To Whom It Referred.
Sunday School Teacher Now, Willie
Green, what aie we to understand when
the Bible epeaks of people who, having
eyes, see not.
Willie Green I guess it must mean
policemen. Philadelphia Record.
I am suTe Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years ago. Mrs. Thju.
Eobbiws, Maple street.. No:;u, N. Y.
Feb. 17, 1900.
Conditions Improving.
Easterner (on his vacation) I be
lieve there is less of vice and crime
among the Indians out here than there
used to be. Is there not?
Commanche Pete Yon're right,
pard. Th' haint ez many Injuns ez
they used to be. Chicago Tribune.
HOW'S THIS?
W offer One Hpndred Dollars Reward for air
ease of Cattarrh that can not be cored oy HaU'l
Catarrh Care.
F. J. CHENEY A Co., Props. , Toledo, O.
We the undersigned, have known F. J. Cheney
tor the past 15 years, and believe him perfectly
honorable in all basinets transactions and fin
ancially able to carry out any obligations madej
by their Arm.
Wist A Trtjax.
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo,
Waloina kiknam & Marvin,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo. O.
B all'a Catarrh Cir is tas-n intm.n mnn
directly on the blood and mucous surfaces of
the system. Price 75c per bottle. Sold by all
druggist. Testimonials free.
Hall's Family Pills are the best.
Onto His Game.
Clubb- My wife's going around with
a chip on her shoulder today.
Chubb That so?
Clubb Yes, she found one in my
pocket this morning. Philadelphia
Press.
The Oldest and Best.
S. S. S. is a combination of roots
and herbs of great curative powers,
and when taken into the circulation
searches oat and removes all manner
of poisons from the blood, without
the least shock or harm to the system.
On the contrary, the general health
begins to improve from the first dose,
for S. S. S. is not only a blood purifier,
but an excellent tonic, and strength
ens and builds up the constitution
while purging the blood of impuri
ties. S. S. S. cures all diseases of a
blood poison origin, Cancer, Scrofula,
Rheumatism, Chronic Sores and
Ulcers, Eczema, Psoriasis, Salt
Rheum, Herpes and similar troubles,
and is an infallible cure and the only
antidote for that most horrible disease,
Contagious Blood Poison.
A record of nearly fify years of
auccessf ul cures is a record to be proud
of. S. S. S. is more popular today
thau ever. It numbers its friends by
the thousands. Our medical corres
pondence is larger than ever in the
history of the medicine. Many write
to thank us for the great good S. S. S.
has done them, while others are seek
ing advice about their cases. All
letters receive prompt and
careful 1
attention. Our physicians have made
a life-long study of Blood and Skin Dis
eases, ana better understand such cases
than the ordinary practitioner who
makes a specialty of no one disease.
e are doing great
good to suffering
humanity through
our consulting de
partment, and invite
you to write us if you have any blood
or skin trouble. Ve make no charge
whatever for this service.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO, ATLANTA, 6A.
Beat Couch aVrau, Tastes Good. CfSfrl
h) tins, Sol: by drncrist. ff
CT3
LEVELING TENDENCIES.
Kacltah Aristocrats Who Are Making;
Money la Trade.
Americana cannot lay claim to being
the only people who now take the sensi
ble view that bo man la degraded by
engaging In a lawful business. England
ta couilug round to the same way of
thinking. The old order of things is
changed. It la the aristocrats now who
serve many of the retail buyers with
groceries, vegetables, coal, and other
necessaries of life. The following list
of titled tradesmen would seem to em
phasize the statements:
Lord Hampden la said to supply the
best cream cheese, and his carts, filled
with all the fresh dairy produce of bis
farm in Sussex, go dally on their West
End routes.
Lord Londonderry will deliver half a
ton of coal with promptness. A grand
son of William IV. prefers a more re
tiring method of meeting the demands
of his customers. Through the medium
of the post he sends out his packets of
tea all over the country.
Among the smaller shop-owners who
belong to the old aristocratic families
of England is Lord Harrington, who
opened a shop a few years ago on his
London property that be might sell
fruit and vegetables grown at Elvaston
Castle. The late Lord Wlnchilsea was
the pioneer of the fresh vegetable cru
sade which started the shop in Long
Acre where all kinds of British farm
may be bought at the lowest prices.
Lord Portsmouth has gone Into the
mineral-water trade, a bottling estab
lishment for which he has started. The
restaurant business seems In high
favor. Mr. Algy Burke was one of the
first of the "upper ten" to put his en
ergies Into the management of a res
taurant. He succeeded In making
fashionable the restaurant known as
Willis' Rooms. Two other young men
of gentle birth have gone into the ho
tel business. These are the half-brothers
of Lord Trevor and Mr. Mostyn,
of the family of Lord Vaux of Harrow-
den. They have opened an hotel at
new watering-place.
Although the interest in millinery
shops owned and managed by society
women has somewhat abated, this field
of trade has found new workers. A
man well known In society is the latest
milliner. He has taken a shop In Bond
street a short distance from one over
the door of which he painted "The
Countess of Warwick," and nnder the
name of Camille be successfully car
ries on bis business.
Boer in a Box.
A most remarkable story has been
furnished to an Express representative
by the second oflicer of the R. M. S.
Goth, which has just arrived home
from the Cape.
On the Goth's arrival on Christmas
morning at Ascension Island, on the
homeward voyage, a Boer commandant
was discovered on board In a large
wooden case forming part of the cargo,
The "consignment" had been received
on board at St. Helena, and shipped as
a box of Boer curios for England. The
measurements of the case were:
T.ength, 4 feet 3 inches; breadth, 2 feet
4 Inches; and height, 2 feet.
When the box was opened the con
tents proved to be a live Boer command
ant, who gave his name as Smonerburg,
and owned that he was a prisoner on
parole.
Standing over six feet in height, he
was helped out of his cramped "room
In a veeak and exhausted state. He had
there been cribbed, cabined and con
fined for five days.
Enough food was stored to last him
for his voyage to England, but in being
stowed away in the hold his water bot
tles had been broken.
He was eventually landed at Ascen
sion under an escort, to await reship-
plng on a man-of-war for St- Helena,
where he will Join his brother Boers
In captivity.
The box in which the prisoner was
found was a most clever contrivance,
apparently of Boer carpentershlp, with
sliding panels. It contained clothing,
biscuits, potted meats, books, and a
candle and matches. London Express.
Spinsters in Denmark.
Denmark Is the one country In the
world, presumably, that place a pre
mium upon splnsterhood. A celibacy
insurance company has been founded.
If the bolder of a policy in the Celi
bacy Is unmarried at the age of forty
she Is considered immune and gets a
life annuity. If she marries before
forty she forfeits her policy and pre
miums. Between an annuity and a
husband a Danish maiden's heart
often rent with Indecision. In Sweden
and Norway there are several homes
for spinsters. One of these at least is
as attractive as It Is unique. It is the
monument to the memory of an exceed
Ingly wealthy old man who, dying more
than two hundred years ago, left the
major part of his fortune to the old
maids among his descendants. A su
perb home was built, furnished, and
managed by salaried trustees. It flour
ished and has.continued. Any unmar
ried woman who can prove blood re
lationship to the founder of the Institu
tion is entitled to admission in the
home. She Is given a suite of rooms,
a private servant, private meals, and is
subject to no rules save such as or
dinary good behavior demands.
Grimly Grotesque.
The following tale anent Li
Hung
Chang reminds one of the grim jesting
of Mr. Gilbert's Mikado, who will be
remembered as having indulged In
pleasantries regarding "something with
boiling oil in It."
LI Hung Chang had, beyond all
doubt, an Iron will and a very unsentl-
mental heart. Once, when he was
iceroy of Chi-LI, a man who had tam
pered with a telegraph wire was
brought before him. The man wrung
his hands and begged for mercy, say
ing that he would never touch the wire
again. "Don't be vexed, my good fel
low," said Li, "nor trouble yourself
any further about the matter. I'll see
that it does not happen again." Then
he turned to the gaolers and gave the
order "Cut oft" his head:"
He Understood.
Uncle Josh You know what the law
yers mean by "alleged." don't you?
Uncle Hiram Of course! They mean
that the lawyers on the other side is
lyln'. Puck.
It sometimes happens that a man's
house is his mother-in-law's castle.
SCIENTIFIC" BEEF.
The Soaat
Beef of Old England :
Deteriorating-.
England would not be England with
out its famous roast beef. Patriotic
Britons axe stJTl under the delusion
that by paying the price they can ob
tain the genuine article "as good as
ever it was, sir."
This Is another of the pleasant fic
tions which the faithful journalist is
obliged to shatter.
As a matter of fact, the distinctive
flavor which won the admiration of
King James has been slowly lost ow
ing to modern methods of fattening
cattle.
Tenderness and juicy quality un
doubtedly have been gained by modem
breeders owing to their scientific feed
ing of oxen; but the original "beefy
flavor, which took about three years to
become perfect. Is gradually being re
placed by quite nnpleasantant flavors.
For instance, and the British Farm
ers' Association is the authority con
sulted by the writer, Devonshire beef
has a. distinctly "turnippy" taste, due
to the roots and turnips upon which the
beasts are fed.
In spring beef of this flavor is more
noticeable, for It is daring the winter
months, when pasturage is scarce, that
the animals have to be fed on roots.
If for one month only, just before
slaughtering, the cattle were fed on
hay this objection would be removed;
but our cattle breeders are In such a
hurry to send the animals to the mar
ket that this month cannot be spared
when the demand for English beef is
great and pressing.
Oilcake is another artificial food that
affects the flavor. The taste of the oil
Is most unpleasantly perceptible when
the food is used to any great extent.
But it fattens very rapidly, so farmers
use It Six weeks only Is necessary to
get an ox Into market condition on oil
cake. What, then, is the finest beef for ta
blet The answer will come as a shock.
It is, according to an expert, the
American who "succeeds again."
American beef, bred from the finest
English stock, has many advantages
over the home-grown animals.
The pasturage In America Is ideal
Sunshine is abundant, and sunshine has
a great effect In the way of improving
the flavor of beef. The most exposed
portions of the animal, such as that
from which the sirloin is taken, are al
ways the best.
American beef comes over in chilled,
not frozen chambers. If the "ice gets
into the meat" the flesh becomes taste
less, but a cold chamber, the tempera
ture of which does not fall below
freezing point, arrests decomposition
without spoiling the flavor. London
Mall.
CUT OUT HER DOUBLE CHIN.
Delicate Piece of Surgery to Save a
Woman from Suffering.
To save herself from death by suffo
cation and incidentally to cure a double
chin of prodigious development, Mrs.
Florence Shipley, of Baltimore, Md.,
has submitted to one of the strangest
sursrlcal operations on record. Her chin
was slit open In four places and a large
quantity of fat removed from her neck.
The operation was performed at the
University Hospital on Lombard street
A slip of the knife by a. hair's breadth
and the patient would never have
awakened from the ether. This she
fully understood, but preferred the risk
to further suffering.
Mrs. Shipley is a tall woman and
stout In proportion to her weight. For
years, however, an unnatural growth
of flesh under her chin has created a
pressure on the carotid arteries. All
efforts to reduce It proved fruitless. The
still healthy arteries, as time only in
creased the deposit, were crusned be
neath the weight of fat.
The carotid arteries carry the blood
from the heart to the brain, and their
deformity soon produced not only pain
but a lack of supply of blood that
caused periods of unconsciousness. Res
piration was also so far interfered with
that the unfortunate woman dreaded
suffocation.
So skillfully was the operation per
formed by three surgeons at the hospi
tal, says the New York World special,
that it is believed the four incisions
will leave no scar. For two days Mrs.
Shipley remained in the hospital with
her head in a plaster cast.
The Girgling Girl.
If yon tell her she's modest or tell her
she s vain,
She'll giggle.
She heeds not the fact that it gives you
a pain.
That giggle.
Though you may address her in serious
key.
Make speech that presents no occasion
for glee.
Or even for smiling, her answer will be
A giggle.
She runs to the door when her Chawley
boy rings
And giggles.
While helping him take off his cold win
ter things
She giggles.
When seated for sparking within the
bright rays
Of dollar per gas or the grate's cheery
blaze
She answers the sugary things that he
says
With giggles.
In church if she catchea a airly chum's
eye
She giggles.
There's bo provocation, she doesn't know
why,
Just giggles.
She'll arch up her eyebrows like back of
the cat
That standa off the dog in the rear of the
flat
And give her eyelashes a humorous bat
And giggle.
If called to the bier of a dead, silent
friend,
She'd giggle.
If Gabriel's trump should bring time to
an end,
She'd giggle.
If np to the great judgment bar she were
led
To list to her fate with the quick and the
dead
She'd think it was funny and shake her
fool head
And giggle.
Denver Post.
A Chronic Borrower.
Brown Jones is borrowing
good
deal of trouble, I guess.
Smith Well, let him have all he
wants; he'll never pay it backup-Detroit
Free Press,
A Rod la Pick!. .
Mrs. Goodsole Why, Johnny, are
you just going home now? - Your
mother's been looking for yon all after
noon.
Johnny Yes'm, I know. V
Mrs. Goodsole Just think how wor
ried she must be! .
Johnny Oh, she's near the end o
her worryin. I'm jest beginnin'
mine.
U Looted Teajh.
"Will yon carve, Mr. Cleaver?" asked
the landlady, as she placed the turkey
on the boarding house table.
"No, thank yon," "replied the face
tious boarder, "let Mr. flackett. He's
a stone cutter." Philadelphia Bulle
tin. -
Three of a Kind.
Ella Bella told me that yon told
her that secret I told yon not to tell
her.
Stella She's a mean thing I told.
hoi not to tell you I told her.
Ella Well, I told her I wouldn't tell
you she told me so don't tell her I
did. Brooklyn Life.
Pure Accident
A scum What's the matter with Jen
kins?
. Gobang Met with an accident while
hunting.
A scum You don't say!
Gobang Yes, he was hunting for
trouble, and he accidentally ran up
against me. Philadelphia Press.
Doubled as Alimony.
"Oh. yes, daughter's fully twice as
happy as she was with her husband."
"How so?"
"Why, he used to give her an al
lowance of only $10, and now he has to
pay her f 20."
Sheer Nonsense.
"He never washes his hands."
"Nonsense I"
"No; it's a fact."
"Then he's a crank, eh?"
"Not at all. He says it would take
too long. He employs 200 in his mill.
ANOTHER KEUAREABLE CASK
Which the Doctor Failed to
Understand.
Cur or
A medical man, as a rule, dislikes to
acknowledge the valne of a proprietary
medicine. In fact, professional eti
quette debars him from doing so.
There are many eminent physicians,
those most avanced in thier profes
sions, who give foil credit to the great
curative properties of Vogeler's Cura
tive Compound from the fact that it is
manufactured by an old and reliable
company, proprietors of St. Jacobs Oil,
from the formula of a brother physi
cian, who today stands in the front
ranks of the most eminent medical
men, and on account of its intrinsic
merit it is largely prescribed by the
medical profession.
Mrs. Nettleton graphically relates the
particulars of her own case, which will
doubtless be of interest to many of our
lady readers:
"I had been an intense sufferer for
many years from dyspepsia, liver and
kidney troubles, when a pamphlet was
placed in my bands, and, although at
that time I had ' been bedridden for
more than six months, I determined,
after reading some of the cases similar
to mine, which had been completely
cured by Vogeler's Curative Compound,
to try some, especilly as my doctors
failed to even benefit me, and I had
given up all hope of ever being well
again. The very first dose of 15 drops
relieved me. It was not long before I
was able to get up and about; three
months from taking the first dose I was
enjoying better health than I had been
for 14 years. I should not have been
alive today had it not been for Vogel
er's Curative Compound."
Mrs. Nettleton paid : "I have recom
mended Vogeler's Curative Compound
for indigestion and eczema, and in
every case it has proved a cure, beyond
doubt. Mr. Swinbank, our chemist,
has sent me the names of no end of peo
ple who have been cured, by Vogeler's
Curative Compound. By the way, the
proprietors have so much confidence in
this great London physician's discov
ery, that they will send a sample free
to any person sending name and ad
dress, naming this paper." St. Jacobs
Oil Co., 205 Clay St., Baltimore, Md.
A Saint Upon Earth.
"Pa," said Willie, "what does it
mean to say a man is 'one of nature's
noblemen?' "
" 'One ofnature's noblemen,' my
son," replied the old gentleman, with
a significant look at his better half, "is
a man who smiles when be gets some
ridicnlous, cheap gift for Christmas,
and exclaims: 'How nice! Just what
I wanted!'" Catholic Standard and
Times.
Mental Exercise.
Berrfice What is the nature of this
brain work Cholly has undertaken?
Hortense He has made his valet
take a back seat, and he thinks for him
self what suits he will wear each day.
She Knew tier Husband.
Peddler Wouldn't you like some
mottoes for your house, mum? It's
veryweheering to a husband to see a
nice motto on the wall when be comes
home.
Mrs. Daggs Have you got one that
says, "Better late than never?" Week
ly Telegraph.
The Tandem Habit
"Why do Mr. Paintbrush and hiB
wife promenade in single file?"
"They used to ride a tandem, and
they can't get over the tandem habit."
Fliegende Blaetter.
The Fruit of Faith.
Sunday School Teacher Faith, chil
dren, is believing in the existence of
something we can't see. For example,
when you buy bananas yon know that
there is a delicious fruit inside the
tough skin. Do you understand?
Children Yes, ma'am.
Sunday School Teacher Well, what
is faith?
Children Bananas.
Makes Money Raising Popcorn.
A. L. Schaeffer, of Edgar county,
Illinois, last year harvested the largest
crop of popcorn ever gathered in the
world. From his 102 acres he had
1,800 bushels, a yield of a little over 17
bushels to the acre. It cost him $17
an acre to raise, sort, shell and pay
ground rent. -
To fJothoroof
q Families
Xm this workaday world few women
re so placed that physical exertion
is not constantly demanded of them in
their daily life.
We make a special appeal to mothers
of large families whose work is never
done, and many of whom suffer, and
suffer for lack of intelligent aid.
To women, young or old, rich or
poor, we extend an invitation to accept
tree -advice. Oh, women ! do not let
M, GASBIX Tt-iTT.T.TP-rT
your lives be sacrificed when a word of
advice at the first approach of weak
ness, may fill your future years with
healthy joy. Address a letter to Mrs.
Pinkham'a Laboratory, Lynn Mass.,
and yon will not be disappointed. .
"When I began to take Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound I was
not able to do my housework. " I suf
fered terribly at time of menstruation.
Several doctors told me they could do
noibinjr forme. Thanks to the Pink
ham advice and medicine I am now
well, and can do the work for eight in
the family. C
"I would recommend Lydia E. Pink
ham's - Vegetable Compound to all
mothers with large families." Mrs.
riArari Bsllstvtixe, Ludington, Mich.
Trouble Ahead.
"What are you crying for?"
"Me big brudder's gettin' a lickin'."
"Ah, I seel You're sorry for him."
"Naw, I'm sorry for myself. He's
goin' ter lick me fer tellin' on him."
New York Evening Journal.
Saddest of All.
He It is a pleasure to meet a woman
who has a sense of humor.
She But, really, one doesn't need a
sense of humor to laugh at the things
you say. Life.
She was Right
Wife Do you know I have a very
little mouth? In the glass it doesn't
look large enough to hold my tongue.
Husband (testily) It doesn't.
Could Not Be Called Housewife.
"And so you are married, Jack,"
said dear old Aunt Polly. "I hope
she isa good housewife." "Well," re
plied Jack Kitchie, "she's been a good
fashionable hotel wife most of the time
since our wedding." Philadeplhia
Press.
A Model Child.
Dickie Pa, were you a gooder boy'n
me when yon were as little as me?
Father Yes, indeed, Dickie. I was
always a very good boy, but somehow
or other I had a great many serious and
painful misunderstandings with my
parents.
Lieutenant Governors In Office.
In Alabama, Nebraska and Washing
ton the present governors were elected
as lieutenant governors, ' and are filing
vacancies caused by the death or resig
nation of the governors.
In England.
"Kind sir, I s'pose yer don't know
of no one what dont' want to hire no
body to do nothink, do yer?"
"Yes, I don't."
Table Decoration.
Four rather small fern dishes filled
with growing ferns are sometimes used
to outline the center square of the din
ner board, the actual center being oc
cupied by a slender, rather tall glass
vase, which may hold any flower pre
ferred, two or three stems with foliage
being sufficient.
1AfrgetabIe Preparationfor As
similating ttveFood andKe Ufa
ting the Stomachs andBoweis of
Promotes Digcstion.Cheerfur
iresg and Rest. Contains neither
Opium,Morphine norfineral.
WOT HAS.C OTIC .
mi
n
i
Hi
BnajimSemt-jOx-Smuul
mattenmmJmat
mmm jam
MaatytawL i
Xpetfecl Remedy for Constipa
tion , Sour Stomach.Diarrhoea
Worms .Convulsions .Feverish
ness and Loss of Sleep.
Facsimile Signature of
NEW YORK.
ft a
Mt
SSI
f
I
ri
EXACT COPY OF WRAPPER.
mi
maW
: From Enlisted Man to Admiral.
Bear Admiral Oscar W. Farenholt,
United States navy, who was inspection
officer at Charleston navy yard np to
about a year ago, and who is now on
the retired list, is the only officer in
the service who reached the grade of
rear admiral from the position of en
litsed man. Admiral Farenholt en
tered the navy first as a volunteer dftr
ing the Civil war, and has a record of
mote than 16 years sea service.
Jealousy."
"I understand Miss Goldstandard's
engagement has been broken. What
was the cause?"
. "Jealousy."
"Jealousy?"
"Yes, her dog became too fond of
him."
In the Ark.
"Don't annoy your father," whis
pered Mrs. Noah to Shem. "He's in a
bad humor."
"What's wrong with him?" queried
Shem, curiously.
"Why," replied Mrs. Noah, "he
went out on the huricane deck to let
one of the doves loose, and the wind
turned his umbrella wrong side out!"
Ohio State Journal.
Horseshoes in the Orient
The type of horseshoe common in the
Orient is a plate fitted so as to cover
the entire bottom of the hoof, with a
perforation in the center. The weight
of the average horseshoe is three-fourths
of a" pound. The native smiths usually
cut these plates from sheets of wrought
iron and rudely shape them for the
purpose in view.
Deaf Mute Used Threatening Language.
For using threatening "deaf and
dumb" language toward his father and
Drother a deaf mute has been bound
over to keep the peace at Blackburn,
England.
Magic Orchid -of Java.
In Java there is an orchid, the gram
matophyium, a 11 the flowers of which
open at once, as if by the stroke of a
fairy wand, and they also all wither to
gether. Woman's Acquaintance.
Herr Do you know my wife?
Frau Very well.
Herr But I don't remember intro
ducing her to you.
Frau Quite true, but I have a new
maid who was with your wife two
months. Fliegende Blaetter.
Cut Up.
"Doesn't your old barber shave you
any more?"
"No; he's entirely too musical."
"Whistled while he worked, eh?"
"Oh, no, but while he was shaving
me the other day a street piano outside
began playing a ragtime tune, and be
kept time to it with his razor." Phil
adelphia Press.
Two of a Kind.
McJigger I couldn't sleep last night.
Fire engines dashed down our street
and disturbed me.
Thingumbob A fire alarm wakened
me, too.
McJigger That so?"
Thingumbob Yes. I dreamed that
I had died. Philadelphia Press.
A Natural Conclusion.
Mollie What makes so many cat
tails grow on this pond. Charlie?
Charlie Oh, they grow up from lit
tle kitties that people have drowned
here, of course.
The Source of Information.
"How are you feeling, today?" asked
the personal friend.
"I don't know," answered' the mon
arch, wearily. "I haven't read the
papers yet." Washington Star.
So Mean.
Creditor (angry) I tell you, 1 want
my money-
Voice From Beyond Well, you can't
get blood out of a turnip.
Creditor No, but I can out of a beet.
IIS YOUR
You Find the Difference
Groesbeck's Lice Killer
o v.. m.;nirnn Fe
OttVU IUUI UIHUnCiis).
chickens prevents
six months old. 25
PORTLAND SEEO CO., 13 S Front
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears the
Signature
of
In
Use
For Over
Thirty Years
ZAP
iflUlPB
I Hi
mm
THE CCftTAUM CO
, mcw vork orrv.
Weak?
' I suffered terribly and was ex
tremely weak for 12 years. The
doctors said my blood was all
turning to water. - At last I tried
AVer's Sarsaparilla, and was soon
feeling all right again."
Mrs. J. V. Fiala, Hadlyme, Ct.
No matter how long you
have been ill, nor now
poorly you may be today,
Ayer's Sarsaparilla is the
besnnedicine you can
take for purifying and en
riching the blood.
Don t doubt it, put your
whole trust in it, throw
away everything else.
Sl.M a tattle
All
Ask nnr doctor what ha thinks of Avaa
SaraanariUa. He knows all about thii rraad
old family medicine. Follow hia advice sad
ITS will be satisfied.
d. u. atu to, liowsui. mus.
Unfortunate Error.
"What do you mean by this,
demanded the angry advertiser.
sir?'
" What's the matter?" inquired
the
publisher of the Bingtown Bugle.
"This advertisement of 'our delicious
canned meats from the best Chicago
honses,' you've made it read 'horses.' "
DO YOU
WORK IN THE WET?
THE ORIGINAL
OILED
CLOTHING-
BCACX OtTtlU XV
IS
insr- asisMissi
&?&&Amn re service!
look fOR AW CATALOGUES FREE i
SHOWING PULL LINE OP GARMENTS AND HAT.
A.J.TOWER CO..BQ3TON.MA5S. 4
lB$eIU BUGGIES.
Give better satisfaction than anything' on
the market at anything like the price, be
cause they are made nf good material to
stand "Oregon roads" Iron cornera on
bodies, bracea on shafts, heavy second
growth w heels, screwed rims, if yon want
to feel sure that yon are rettlnn your mon
ey's worth. ak for a "Bee Line" or a
"Mitchell" (Henney) Boggy. We guaran
tee tliem.
Mltchalt, Lowlm Staver Cm.
Seattle, Spokane, Boise. Portland, Or.
BISHOP SCOTT ACADEMY
Portland, Oregon. Founded 1870.
I Home School for Boys.
Military and Manual Training.
Write for Illustrated Catalogue.
ARTHUR C NEWILL, Principal
WASHING MADE EASY
By using my Washing Tablets. No acids.
Send 50 cents for package sufficient for
3 months, with full directions. Agents
wanted. W.O.POWELL,
Box 606. Portland, Oregon.
POCKET!
Between sickly, lousy chickens and healthy, contented fowls.
One brings no money to your pocket, the other means money
In your pnrse. Which will vou have f
Is a liquid to paint or spray the roosts, quickly destroying all
lice. The price is nothing in comparison to the good it will do.
eed Groesbeck's Mee Producer and Health Fond to the
mortality. Pullets begin laying when five or
to 50 per cent, more eggs produced.
Street, Portland, Or. Commt Agmntm.
Buslnes Mora Than Doubltd In Four ftaru
THE REASONS I M ,
W. I.Douglas makes and sells more men's fa .00
and S3..ri0 shoes than any ot her two manufacturers.
W.iDouglasS3-00aiid S.B0 shoes placed side by
side with S5.00 and $8.00 shop of other makes are
found to be just as g-ood. They will outwear two
pairs of ordinary $5-00 and $3.50 shoes.
Made of the best leathers. Including Patent
Corona Kid, Corona Colt and National Kangaroo.
Vst Color InMa ssd Always Blsek Hooks PsoS.
W.L.DoacIss Si "Gil Mfo LIko" caaaM bo ooaalle.
Shoes by mail, 25 eta. extra. Catalog:
freeTVyjOggljASrorttojBass
Aretv Year Resolutions
liiE Keeley Curo
fclir redM from Uqa, opium sad taoaaa
a bits. Send lot paxtloular la
Vaalaw Inaliltita Moved to 420 William
1 6618 J inSUlOIB, At:. Fortlaud. Oregon
. P. X.0.
Mo. 15103.
HEN writing to advertisers pleas
memtioa tnia paper.
1 f UNIONMADE. f'
VS pa Sold by 63 Douglas Stores in
x'ii'ji' u. -American cities, aad the best
S v retail shoe dealers everywhere.
&. 3 Cant Ion I The genuine have
M 1,' J& W. L. Douglas' name and pric
I g&TTt&' stamped on the bottom.
Notice tneretue of iaiei tabl bUn t
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